Work  of  Faith,  the  Labour  of  Love,  and  the 
Patience  of  Hope,  illustrated; 


LIFE  AND  DEATH 


OF    THE 


REV.  ANDREW  FULLER, 


LATE    PASTOR    OF    THE 


BAPTIST    CHURCH    AT    KETTERING, 


AND 

SECRETARY  TO   THE 
BAPTIST  MISSIONARY   SOCIETY* 

FROM    ITS    COMMENCEMENT,   IN    1792. 


CHIEFLY     EXTRACTED     FROM     HIS     OWV    PAPERS,, 

BY  JOHN  RYLAND,  D.D. 


CHARLESTOWN:  PRINTED  BY  SAMUEL  ETHEIUDGE. 
1818, 


DISTRICT    OF    MASSACHUSETTS,    TO   WIT  : 

District  Clerk's  Office. 

(L  SI  ^E  IT  KEMEMBERED»  That  on  the  seventh  day  of  July,  A  I>, 
'  eighteen  hundred  and  eighteen,  and  in  the  forty-third  year  of  the 
Independence  of  the  United  States  of  America,  WILLIAM  V'OLLIER,  of 
the  said  District,  has  deposited  in  this  Office  'he  title  of  a  book,  the  right 
whereof  he  claims  as  proprietor,  in  the  words  following;,  to  wit  : 

"  The  Work  of  Faith,  the  Labour  of  Love,  and  the  Patience  of  Hope, 
illustrated  ;  in  the  Life  and  D-iath  of  the  Rev  Andrew  Fuller,  late  Pastor 
of  the  Baptist  Church  at  lettering,  and  Secretary  to  the  Baptist  Mission- 
ary .Society,  from  its  com  me  -cement,  in  1792  Chiefly  extracted  from  his 
own  Papers,  by  John  Ryland,  D  D" 

In  conformity  to  the  act  of  the  Congress  of  the  United  States,  entitled, 
*'  An  act  for  the  encouragement  of  learning,  by  securing  the  copies  of  maps, 
charts  and  books,  to  the  authors  and  proprietors  of  such  copies,  during  the 
times  therein  mentioned  "  and  also  to  an  act  entitled,  '*  An  Act  supple- 
mentary to  an  act,  entitled,  An  Act  for  the  encouragement  of  learning,  by 
securing  the  copies  of  maps,  charts,  and  books,  to  the  authors  and  pro- 
prietors of  such  copies  during  the  times  therein  mentioned  :  and  extending 
the  benefits  thereof  to  the  arts  of  designing,  engraving  and  etching  histor- 
ical and  other  prints." 

T  m«r    ™  £  Clerk  of  the  District 

JOHN   W.  DAVIS, 


CONTENTS. 


Preface  -  -  yii 

CHAP.  I. 

Some  Preliminary  Remarks  on  the  English  Baptists— The  Coven* 
tncnt  of  their  Churches — The  Baptist  Associations—General 
and  Particular  Baptists — Rise  of  the  Modern  Question — Con- 
troversy occasioned  by  it — State  of  our  (,'hurches  about  the  year 
1770 — Spread  of  False  Calvinism  among  them,  and  other  de- 
nominations-— A  Check  begun  to  be  put  to  its  progress  1 

CHAP.  II. 

.Mr.  Fuller's  Birth  and  Parentage — Some  Account  of  his  Ancestors — 
His  own  narrative  of  his  Early  Religious  Impressions,  and  his 
subsequent  Conversion  to  God,  with  his  entrance  on  the  Work  of 
the  Christian  Ministry,  and  early  Embarrassments  respecting  va- 
rious Theological  Controversies  £ 

i 
CHAP.   III. 

His  Settlement  as  Pastor  of  the  Church  at  Soham — The  difficulties  he 
there  encountered — His  Removal  thence,  to  Kettering — The  Fx- 
eroisesof  his  mind  on  that  Occasion — An  Account  of  his  Settlement 
at  Kettering — His  Statement  of  the  Circumstances  which  induced 
*>il  KemoYal,  and  his.  Confession  of  Faith.,  33 


iv  CONTENTS 

Page. 
CHAP.  IV. 

Extracts  from  his  Private  Diary,  beginning  June  3,  1780,  and  ending 
January  10,  1782  60 

CHAP,  V. 

Extracts  from  a  Diary  kept  after  his  removal  to  Kettering,  beginning 
April  11,  1784.  81^ 

CHAP.  VI. 

An  account  of  Mr  Fuller's  various  publications,  both  of  a  Polemical 
and  Practical  Nature— His  earnest  concern  to  be  led  into  the 
TrutH*—  A  Solemn  Covenant  with  God— Brief  notices  from  his 
Diary  on  this  head — Remarks  on  some  of  his  Works  interspersed 
with  the  Catalogue— Intimation  of  unfinished  remains  •  115 

CHAP.  VII. 

Mr  Fuller's  unwearied  Exertions  in  behalf  of  the  Baptist  Missionary 
Society— The  fcise  of  that  Society — Sending  out  of  Messrs. 
Thomas  and  Carey — Specimens  of  Mr.  Fuller's  Correspondence 
with  the  Missionaries — His  Journies  into  Scotland;  connected 
with  Observations  ot\  the  State  of  Religion  in  that  Country,  and 
the  Sandemanian  Controversy;  Conversations  with  a  Jew  and 
other  Travellers,  &c.  -  -  136 

i 

CHAP.  VIII. 

Extracts  from  Mr.  Fuller's  Correspondence,  chiefly  with  the  Au- 
thor of  these  Memoirs  for  two  and  thirty  Years  ;  who,  after  ex- 
amining more  than  330  Letters  which  he  had  preserved,  has 
selected  whatever  might  illustrate  the  Character  of  his  Friend* 
throw  Light  upon  important  Doctrines,  or  contain  interesting 
Fact*  -  -  -  -  -  -  *  SO* 


CONTENTS.  * 

Page, 

This  Chapter  contains,  among  other  things,  Observations  relative  to 
the  Modern  Question — The  Harmony  of  Scripture  Precepts, 
Prayers,  and  Promises— The  Affliction  of  Mr.  F.'s  Correspond- 
ent«— Reference  to  Mr.  F.'s  Interview  with  Mr.  Berridge — His 
Correspondent's  Removal  to  Bristol — Controversy  with  Mr. 
Booth — Observations  on  Philosophy  and  the  Word  of  God — Ac- 
curate Account  of  his  Preaching  in  Braybrook  Church — Out- 
lines of  a  Sermon  to  the  Aged — Hints  to  Students — Nature  of 
Christ's  Merits — Terrible  Hailstorm — Hints  relative  to  publish- 
ing— Visit  to  Portsea — Visit  to  Ireland— Remarks  on  Mr.  Walk- 
er, of  Dublin,  and  on  Sandemanianism— Remarks  on  some  of 
the  Eclectic  Reviewers — Mr.  SutcliffV  Illness  and  Death— Let- 
ter to  the  Rev.  Archibald  M 'Lean— Besides  various  other  Ob- 
servations interspersed. 


CHAP.  IX. 

Mr.  Fuller's  first  Marriage— His  Parental  Affection— Account  of  his 
first  daughter  Sarah — Mrs.  Fuller's  Illness  and  Death — Lines 
written  by  himself,  in  Reference  to  that  Event — His  second  Mar- 
riage, to  the  Daughter  of  the  Rev.  William  Coles,  of  whom  some 
Account  is  given  in  a  Note— His  Second  Family— Domestic  Com- 
fort— Distress  respecting  his  Eldest  Son— Review  of  Trials  and 
Mercies— Account  of  his  Second  Daughter  Sarah,  in  a  Note- 
Account  of  his  Nephew,  Joseph  Fuller — Mr.  Fuller's  concern 
for  the  Spiritual  Welfare  of  more  Distant  Relatives  and  Friends  255 


CHAP.  X. 

An  Account  of  Mr]  Fuller's  Frame  of  Mind  under  various  Personal 
Afflictions,  and  in  his  last  Illness  and  the  immediate  Approach 
of  Death — His  last  Letter  to  the  Editor— Account  of  his  Funeral 
— Extract  from  Mr.  Toller's  Sermon,  fee.  -  - 


\i  CONTENTS. 

Page, 
APPENDIX. 

Containing,  among  other  Articles,  Conversations  with  Evangelical 
Clergymen,  on  Establishments,  Doctrine,  &c. — Instance  of  Mr. 
Fuller's  Sound  Judgment  and  Inflexible  Integrity — Anecdotes — 

His  Originality His  Appreciation  of  the  Works  of  Art— Brief 

History  of  the  Baptist  Church  at  Keltering— Hints  as  to  Mr. 
Fuller's  Discharge  of  his  Pastoral  Duties  ;  in  which  is  contained 
a  Letter  to  one  of  his  Members,  against  Antinomian  Delusions 
-^-Inscription  on  a  Tablet  erected  to  his  Memory  -  -  343 


PREFACE  TO  THE  FIRST  EDITION, 


very  shortly  to  have  all  my  springs  of  action 
examined  at  the  tribunal  of  an  impartial  Judge,  I  do  not  hes- 
itate to  profess,  that  I  hyve  undertaken  this  office,  of  giving  a 
faithful  representation  of  my  dear  departed  Brother's  life,  not 
under  the  influence  of  any  wish  to  display  mv  skill  as  a  wri- 
ter of  biography,  nor  yet  to  appear  as  a  critic  on  his  publica- 
tions ;  but  with  the  hope  of  promoting  pure  and  undefiled  re- 
ligion, founded  on  truly  scriptural  and  evangelical  principles, : 
and  also  with  a  desire  of  securing  to  the  family  of  my  beloved 
friend,  the  profits  which  may  result  from  laying  this  sketch 
of  his  history  before  the  public. 

Had  I  been  able  to  persuade  any  one  who  could  do  more 
justice  to  his  character,  to  have  undertaken  the  service,!  would 
have  gladly  resigned  my  office;  trusting  that  the  talents  of  the 
writer  would  have  added  to  the  usefulness  of  the  publication  ; 
•while  I  should  willingly  have  subserved  the  undertaking, 
without  being  known  to  have  had  a  share  in  the  compilation. 
But,  not  being  able  to  prevail  in  this  request,  I  was  unwilling 
that  the  public  should  suffer  loss,  by  the  suppression  of  the  val- 
uable materials  which  had  been  put  into  my  hands ;  or  that  the 
pecuniary  advantage,  resulting  from  their  being  committed  to 
the  press,  should  be  transferred,  from  the  afflicted  family, 
whose  right  it  is,  to  any  other  person.  My  avocations,  how- 
ever, were  too  numerous  to  admit  of  my  attempting  to  antici- 
pate another  publication,  great  part  of  which  had  evidently  been 
prepared  beforehand,  consisting  chiefly  of  a  review  of  his 
works.  And  I  should,  indeed,  have  rejoiced  to  secure  much 


Till  PREPACK. 

more  leisure,  to  revise  and  improve  this  narrative,  than,  after 
all  this  delay,  I  have  found  it  possible  to  obtain :  though  ray 
highest  ambition  is,  like  the  biographer  of  David  Brainerd,  to 
show  what  manner  of  man  my  friend  was,  and  to  excite  others 
to  follow  him,  so  far  as  he  followed  Christ. 

Most  of  our  common  acquaintance  are  well  aware,  that  I  was 
his  oldest  and  most  intimate  friend  ;  and  though  my  removal  to 
Bristol,  above  twenty  years  ago,  placed  us  at  a  distance  from 
each  other,  yet  a  constant  correspondence  was  all  along  main- 
tained ;  and,  to  me  at  least,  it  seemed  a  tedious  interval,  if  more 
than  a  fortnight  elapsed  without  my  receiving  a  letter  from  him. 

I  always  considered  him,  and  Brother  Sutcliff,  and  myself,  as 
more  closely  united  to  each  other,  than  either  of  us  were  to 
any  one  else.*  No  one  of  those  that  grew  up  with  me  in  the 
work  of  the  Lord,  had  an  higher  share  in  my  esteem  than  Mr- 
Fuller  ;  and  the  task  he  assigned  me  at  his  death  is  some  evi- 
dence, that  I  did  not  impose  upon  myself,  in  supposing  I  pos- 
sessed a  peculiar  interest  in  his  friendship.  But,  as  I  affirmed 
at  his  funeral,  so  I  again  avow  my  persuasion,  that  our  inti- 
mate friendship  did  not  blind  either  of  us  to  the  defect*  or  faults 
of  the  other  ;  but,  rather  showed  itself  in  the  freedom  of  af- 
fectionate remark  on  whatever  appeared  to  be  wrong.  I  know 
but  one  religious  subject  on  which  there  was  any  material  differ- 
ence of  judgment  between  us  ;  and,  on  that  point,  I  repeatedly 
expressed  myself  more  freely  and  strongly  to  him,  than  I  did 
to  any  man  in  England  ;  yet  without  giving  him  offence. 

His  natural  temper  might  occasionally  lead  him  to  indulge 
too  much  severity,  especially  if  it  were  provoked  by  the  ap- 
pearance of  vanity  or  conceit.  But  to  the  modest  and  diffi- 

*  I  do  not  forget  the  ardent  friendship  we  all  bore  to  the  excellent  and 
amiable  1'earce  ;  but  this  commenced  fifteen  years  later,  and  was  inter- 
rupted by  death,  fifteen  years  sooner,  than  our  acquaintance  with  each 
other. 


PREFACE.  IX 

dent,  I  never  knew  him  otherwise  than  tender.  He  was  not  a 
man,  however,  to  be  brow-beaten  and  overborne,  when  satis- 
fied of  the  goodness  of  his  cause  ;  nor  could  he  be  easily  im- 
posed upon  by  any  one.  In  January,  1815,  I  thought  I  had 
some  occasion  for  urging  him  to  take  care  lest  he  should  be  too 
much  provoked  :  he  replied,  "  I  know  something  of  my  own 
temper,  and  thank  you  for  all  your  cautions.  It  has  some 
advantages,  and  some  temptations." 

It  has  been  conceived,  that  he  was  in  danger  of  thinking  too 
favourably  of  any  one  who  appeared  to  embrace  the  whole  of 
his  religious  sentiments.  It  might  be  so.  But  let  what  he  has 
said  at  the  close  of  his  fourth  letter,*  respecting  the  difference 
between  firincifiles  and  ofdnions,  be  considered.  Will  not  this 
be  found  a  correction  of  such  a  mistake  ?  I  believe,  if  he  for- 
merly verged  towards  an  error  of  this  kind,  it  was  chiefly  oc- 
casioned by  the  deep  sense  he  had  in  his  own  experience,  of  the 
humbling  and  holy  tendency  of  his  principles.  Hence,  he 
might  be  too  ready  to  suppose,  that  every  one  who  seemed 
to  enter  thoroughly  into  them,  would  necessarily  be  subject  to 
the  same  sanctifying  influence. 

Some  of  his  friends,  I  am  aware,  have  suspected,  that  the 
experience  of  progressive  years  had  not  greatly  altered  his  pro- 
pensity to  think  the  less  of  a  man,  for  not  entering  into  the 
minuter  parts  of  his  system.  He  certainly  had  taken  a  long 
•while  to  settle  his  own  judgment,  on  some  points  of  very 
considerable  importance  :  he  should,  therefore,  not  have  for- 
gotten, if  he  now  walked  in  the  midst  of  the  paths  of  judg- 
ment, that  a  man  who  had  wandered  a  little  on  the  left  side  of 
the  narrow  way,  might  be  as  long  in  getting  exactly  into  the 
proper  track,  as  he  himself  had  been  in  finding  his  way  out 
of  a  thicket  on  the  right  hand.  Yet,  in  this  respect  also,  I 

*  See  Chap.  II.  p.  29. 


X.  PREFACE, 

cannot  forbear  referring  to  the  same  passage,  as 
of  genuine  candour :  and  those  who  thought  they  had  most 
room  for  complaint  on  this  head,  have  acknowledged,  that  "  he 
did  every  thing  conscientiously." 

A  much  higher  delineation  of  my  friend's  character  than 
I  ever  attempted,  which  I  could  not  have  drawn  with  equal 
eloquence,  though  I  fully  believe  it  to  be  just,  I  shall  here 
subjoin :  and  this  may  suffice  to  excuse  me  for  writing  these 
Memoirs  without  any  panegyric  of  my  own. 

"  I  cannot  refrain  from  expressing,  in  a  few  words,  the  sen- 
timents of  affectionate  veneration  with  which  I  always  regarded 
that  excellent  person  while  living,  and  cherish  his  memory 
now  that  he  is  no  more  ;  a  man  whose  sagacity  enabled  him 
to  penetrate  to  the  depths  of  every  subject  he  explored) 
whose  conceptions  were  so  powerful  and  luminous,  that  what 
was  recondite  and  original  appeared  familiar  ;  what  was  intri- 
cate, easy  and  perspicuous  in  his  hands ;  equally  successful  in 
enforcing  the  practical,  in  stating  the  theoretical,  and  discuss- 
ing the  polemical  branches  of  theology  :  without  the  advanta- 
ges of  early  education,  he  rose  to  high  distinction  among  the 
religious  writers  of  his  day,  and,  in  the  midst  of  a  most  active 
and  laborious  life,  left  monuments  of  his  piety  and  genius  which 
will  survive  to  distant  posterity.  Were  I  making  his  eulogi- 
um,  I  should  necessarily  dwell  on  the  spotless  integrity  of  his 
private  life,  his  fidelity  in  friendship,  his  neglect  of  self-in- 
terest, his  ardent  attachment  to  truth,  and  especially  the  series 
of  unceasing  labours  and  exertions  in  superintending  the  Mis- 
sion to  India,  to  which  he  most  probably  fell  a  victim.  He 
had  nothing  feeble  or  undecisive  in  his  character  ;  but  to  every 
undertaking  in  which  he  engaged,  he  brought  all  the  powers 
of  his  understanding,  all  the  energies  of  his  heart ;  and,  if  he 
were  less  distinguished  by  the  comprehension,  than  the  acumen 


FBEFACE.  XJ 

*nd  solidity  of  his  thoughts  ;  less  eminent  for  the  gentler  gra- 
ces, than  for  stern  integrity  and  native  grandeur  of  mind,  we 
have  only  to  remember  the  necessary  limitation  of  human  ex- 
cellence. While  he  endeared  himself  to  his  denomination  by 
a  long  course  of  most  useful  labour,  by  his  excellent  works 
on  the  Socinian  and  Deistical  controversies,  as  well  as  his 
devotion  to  the  cause  of  Missions,  he  laid  the  world  under 
lasting  obligations." 

If  any  testimony  of  respect  need  be  added,  after  the  pre- 
ceding  quotation  from  one  of  his  own  denomination,  it  shall 
be  one  as  honourable  to  the  candour  of  the  speaker,  as  it 
was  to  the  character  of  my  departed  brother.  A  Psedobap- 
tist  minister  in  Scotland,  at  a  numerous  assembly  convened 
at  Glasgow,  for  the  sake  of  forming  a  Society  in  aid  of  the 
Baptist  Mission,  in  the  beginning  of  last  October,  expressed 
a  wish,  with  which  the  universal  feeling  of  all  present  seemed 
to  be  in  unison — «  Would  to  God  that  every  Brahman  in  India 
was  altogether  such  a  man  as  Brother  Fuller  or  Brother  Ca- 
rey I"  Nor  did  Dr.  Balfour,  Mr.  Wardlaw,  and  Dr.  Chalm- 
ers, appear  less  disposed  to  testify  their  respect  to  our  late 
invaluable  Secretary,  than  Mr.  Greville  Ewing. 

As  Dr.  Stuart,  who  drew  up  the  sketch  of  Mr.  Fuller's  life, 
inserted  in  the  Christian  Herald,  (and  copied  by  Mr.  M.)  has 
assured  me,  that  he  gave  no  offence  by  adding  to  it  the  follow- 
ing extract,  which  I  had  sent  him,  from  a  letter  I  received 
soon  after  Mr.  Fuller's  death,  I  need  not  scruple  to  insert  it 
myself. — "  But  all  this  time,  (said  Mr.  Wilberforce,)  I  have  been 
thinking  of  our  departed  friend,  for  ours,  not  yours,  I  must  term 
him  ;  at  least,  it  will  go  ill  with  me,  and  with  any  one  who  does 
not  belong  to  that  blessed  society  to  which  he  belongs.  There 
is  a  part  of  his  work,  The  Gospel  its  own  Witness-)  which  is 
enough  to  warm  the  coldest  heart." 


Xll  PREFACE. 

I  conclude  this  preface  with  the  entry  on  the  minutes  of  the 
Committee  of  the  British  and  Foreign  Bible  Society,  dated 
May  22,  1815 — "  This  Committee  learn,  with  deep  regret? 
the  decease  of  the  late  Rev.  Andrew  Fuller,  Secretary  to  the 
Baptist  Missionary  Society  ;  and,  impressed  with  a  sense  of 
the  valuable  services  rendered  by  that  excellent  individual,  in 
promoting  the  translation  and  publication  of  the  Sacred  Scrip- 
tures in  the  East,  desire  to  unite  their  condolence  on  this  afflic- 
tive event  with  those  of  their  Baptist  brethren,  to  whom  he 
was  more  particularly  allied,  and  of  the  Christian  world,  by 
whom  his  memory  will  deserve  to  be  held  in  affectionate  and 
grateful  veneration." 

To  this  testimony  of  the  most  respectable  Christian  Senator 
in  the  British  Parliament,  and  the  most  respectable  Christian 
Society  in  the  world,  I  add  nothing  but  my  fervent  prayers,  for 
his  surviving  widow,  and  all  his  children  and  family  ;  that  his 
God  may  be  their  God,  guardian,  guide,  and  portion  for  ever. 
Amen ! 

JOHN  RYLAND. 
JBristol,  Jan.  29,  1816. 

P.  S.  In  this  new  edition,  I  have  rectified  two  or  three  mis- 
takes, which  I  had  inadvertently  made  in  the  former  ;  and  have 
left  out  a  few  particulars  of  less  importance,  to  make  room  for 
some  interesting  additions ;  especially  part  of  a  letter  to  his 
eldest  son  ;  (288.)  a  farther  account  of  Mr.  Coles  ;  (278.)  and 
of  Mr.  Fuller's  second  daughter  Sarah,  (291.)  who  died  since 
her  father's  decease  ;  with  a  letter  to  a  friend,  respecting  im- 
pressions of  texts  of  Scripture  on  the  mind.  (352.)  A  few 
paragraphs  have  also  been  transposed ;  and  a  smaller  type 
has  been  used,  for  the  sake  of  reducing  the  price. 

January   1,  1818. 


MEMOIRS 


OF    THE 


REV.     ANDREW    FULLER. 


CHAP.  I. 

PRELIMINARY    REMARKS  ON    THE    ENGLISH    BAPTISTS 

THE  GOVERNMENT  OF  THEIR  CHURCHES — THE  BAPTIST 
ASSOCIATIONS— GENERAL    AND     PARTICULAR  BAPTISTS 

-—RISE    OF     THE     MODERN     QUESTION CONTROVERSY 

OCCASIONED  BY    IT — STATE  OF  OUR  CHURCHES  ABOUT 

THE  YEAR  1770 SPREAD  OF  FALSE  CALVINISM  AMONG 

THEM,  AND  OTHER  DENOMINATIONS A  CHECK  BEGUN 

TO  BE    FUT    TO   ITS    PROGRESS. 

1M[R.  FULLER  having  been  brought  up  among  the  Par- 
ticular Baptists,  in  which  religious  connexion  he  rose  to  em- 
inent respectability  and  usefulness,  it  may  be  proper  to  prefix. 


MEMOIRS   OF 

to  the  narrative  of  his  life  and  labours,  a  brief  account  of  the 
principles  held  by  that  denomination  of  Christians,  and  of  the 
state  of  religion  among  them,  at  the  time  of  his  entering  on  the 
work  of  the  ministry. 

The  Baptists  take  their  name  from  the  ordinance  of  baptism, 
in  respect  of  which,  they  are  concerned  to  adhere  to  the 
primitive  institution  of  Jesus  Christ,  from  which,  they  conceive, 
Christians  of  other  denominations  have  deviated.  I  simply 
mention  this,  as  not  knowing  into  what  hands  this  publication 
may  fall.  If  any  reader  wishes  to  know  the  reasons  of  our  judg- 
ment on  this  subject,  I  would  refer  him  to  a  late  publication  of 
my  own.*  We  wish  others  to  search  the  Scriptures  carefully, 
and  judge  for  themselves,  and  desire  to  love  all  that  love  our 
Lord  Jesus  Christ  in  sincerity,  whether  they  think  with  us  on 
this  point  or  not. 

As  to  Church  Government*  the  Baptists  have  almost  univer- 
sally coincided  in  opinion  and  practice  with  the  Independents  ; 
considering  every  separate  congregation  as  authorized  to  choose 
its  own  elders,  and  admitting  or  excluding  members  by  the 
vote  of  the  whole  church. 

In  several  parts  of  the  kingdom  they  have  long  had 
Associations  of  churches;  to  the  annual  meeting  of  whose 
ministers  and  messengers  letters  are  sent,  giving  information  of 
the  state  of  every  church :  while  a  general  letter  from  each 
Association  is  usually  printed,  and  circulated  through  all  its 
churches.  If  any  church  were  to  dishonour  the  gospel,  by 
tolerating  fundamental  errors  or  scandalous  disorder  in  its 
members,  the  Association  would  refuse  to  acknowledge  that 
church  as  belonging  to  their  body.  I  have  known  very  salutary 
effects  to  follow  from  the  Association  threatening  to  withdraw 
from  a  church,  if  they  did  not  impartially  attend  to  gospel 
discipline. 

Tne  Northamptonshire  and  Leicestershire  Association,  of 
which  Mr.  Fuller  was  so  long  a  distinguished  member,  was 
first  planned  at  Kettering,  October,  1764.  A  letter  was  written 

*  A  candid  Statement  of  the  Reasons  which  induce  the  Baptists  to  differ, 
m  Opinion  and  Practice  from  so  many  of  their  Christian  Brethrem 


MR.    FULLER. 

from  the  same  place,  at  their  first  meeting,  in  May,  1765. 
Their  first  printed  letter  was  sent  from  Olney,  in  1766,  written 
by  Mr.  Moses  Deacon :  in  this,  the  churches  are  not  named  ; 
but  in  1767,  the  Association  consisted  of  eight  churches:  in 
1815,  it  contained  thirty-one. 

The  Western  Baptist  Association  had  its  rise  much  earlier, 
and  was,  for  many  years,  kept  up  by  the  Baptists,  as  such, 
without  any  regard  to  their  different  principles  in  other  respects. 
The  consequence  of  this  was,  their  annual  meetings  were 
found  to  be  rather  pernicious  than  useful ;  as  there  was  scarcely 
a  meeting  of  the  kind,  but  some  unhappy  differences  arose 
between  the  Calvinistic  and  Arminian  ministers.  In  the  year 
1731,  this  annual  meeting  was  to  have  been  held  at  Tiverton  ; 
but  an  awful  fire,  about  that  time,  which  consumed  most  of 
the  town,  prevented  it.  The  next  year,  it  was  not  revived  : 
but,  in  the  following  year,  an  invitation  was  sent  to  the  respec- 
tive churches,  by  the  church  in  Broadmead,  Bristol,  desiring 
them  to  renew  their  annual  meeting,  upon  the  foot  of  their 
agreement  in  the  Confession  of  Faith  set  forth  by  the  Assem- 
bly of  Particular  Baptists,  held  in  London,  in  1689.  Accord- 
ingly, a  meeting  was  held,  in  Broadmead,  on  May  17,  1733, 
when  Mr.  Joseph  Stennett,*  of  Exeter,  preached,  from  Phil, 
i.  27.  latter  part.  There  were  messengers  or  letters  from 
twenty-four  churches.  The  Rev.  Bernard  Fosket  was  then  pas- 
tor, and  Edward  Harrison,  minister,  at  Broadmead  ;  and  the 
Rev.  John  Beddome  and  William  Bazely  were  pastors  at  the 
Pithay.  There  are  now  sixty-eight  churches  in  this  Associa- 
tion. 

The  English  Baptists  have  been  usually  divided  into  two  dis- 
tinct bodies,  by  their  different  views  of  the  doctrines  of  grace. 
The  General  Bafitiats  are  so  called,  from  their  maintaining  the 
sentiment  of  general  redemption.  Many  of  the  old  churches 

*  Afterwards  Dr.  Joseph  Stennett,  who  reraaved  to  Little  Wild  Street, 
London,  in  1737.  His  father  and  grandfather,  as  well  as  his  son,  (Dr. 
Samuel  Stennett,)  were  all  employed  in  the  work  of  the  ministry  ;  and 
his  grandson  (Mr.  Joseph  Stenuett)  is  now  pastor  of  the  church  at  Calnc. 


MEMOIRS     OF 

of  this  son,  have'gone  from  general  redemption  to  no  redemp- 
tion, or  from  Arminianism  to  Arianism  and  Socinianism :  but 
the  churches  of  what  is  called  the  New  Connexion,  are  far 
more  evangelical  ;  and  some  of  them  approach  nearly  to  the 
principles  of  the  moderate  Calvinists.* 

The  Particular  Bafitists  espouse  the  Calvinistic  sentiments, 
on  what  are  called  the  Five  Points  ;  namely,  [l.]  That  the  elect 
were  eternally  fore- ordained  to  holiness,  obedience,  and  happi- 
ness, as  the  end*  through  sanctification  and  the  sprinkling  of 
the  blood  of  Jesus,  as  the  means  of  obtaining  that  end,  to  the 
glory  of  sovereign  grace  :  [2.J  That  the  peculiar  blessings  of 
redemption,  purchased  by  the  death  of  Christ,  are  actually  im- 
parted only  tojthe  elect,  all  of  whom  shall  certainly  enjoy  them  : 
[^3.]  That  mankind  are  so  universally  and  totally  dejira~uedy 
that  they  never  can  be  brought  back  to  God,  without  the  pow- 
erful influence  of  the  Holy  Spirit :  [4.]  That  the  sfiecial  ope- 
rations of  the  Divine  Spirit  are  invincibly  efficacious,  and  can- 
not be  frustrated  by  the  rebellious  will  of  man  :  [5.]  That 
all  who  are  truly  regenerated  shall  fiersevere  in  grace,  to  glory. 
In  their  zeal  for  these  doctrines,  some  good  men,  towards 
the  beginning  of  the  last  century,  were  driven  into  an  extreme ; 
so  as  to  deny  that  all  who  hear  the  gospel  are  called  to  that 
exercise  of  repentance  and  faith  which  is  connected  with 
salvation.  As  far  as  I  can  learn,  this  controversy,  respecting 
what  was  then  called  the  Modern  Question — Whether  it  be 
the  duty  of  all  men  to  whom  the  gospel  is  published,  to  repent 
and  believe  in  Christ — first  arose  in  Northamptonshire.  Many 
of  the  churches  in  that  neighbourhood  had  been  gathered  by 
the  labours  of  Mr.  Davis,  an  Independent  minister  at  Rothwell, 
and  other  preachers  called  out  by  his  church.  He  was  a 
very  zealous,  laborious  man  ;  but  was  accused  of  rashness  and 
imprudence,  by  the  Presbyterian  ministers  in  his  neighbourhood ; 
and  both  himself  and  his  fellow- labourers  were  charged  with 

*  See  a  letter,  from  the  Rev:  Mr.  Freestone,  of  Hinkley,  inserted  in 
the  Baptist  Magazine^  for  September,  1812,  in  answer  to  a  very  errone- 
ous statement,  by  Dr.  Haweis,  which  the  conductors  of  the  Evangelical 
Magazine  would  not  suffer  to  be  corrected. 


MR.    FULLER. 

using  expressions  of  an  Antinomian  tendency.  But  I  can  find 
no  evidence  that  he  took  the  negative  side,  on  this  question  ; 
and  when,  after  Mr.  Davis's  death,  it  began  to  be  advanced 
among  some  of  his  followers,  his  successor,  Mr.  Maurice  very 
strenuously  opposed  it.  He  published  a  pamphlet  against  this 
sentiment,  and  annexed  to  it  a  testimony  from  the  church  under 
his  care,  dated  Aug.  31,  1737,  which  was  signed  by  above 
fifty-men  members.  Mr.  Lewis  Wayman  of  Kimbolton,  wrote 
in  defence  of  the  nciv  opinion— That  it  is  not  the  duty  of  the 
unregenerate  to  believe  in  Christ.  To  this,  Mr.  Maurice  pre- 
pared a  reply:  but  he  died  before  it  was  quite  completed. 
What  he  had  written  however,  was  published  by  the  desire 
of  his  church, Under  the  inspection  of  the  Rev.  Thomas  Brad- 
bury, of  London,  who  perfixed  an  epistle  to  the  reader,  dated 
May  5,  1739. 

After  this  Mr.  Gutteridge  of  Oundel,  wrote  a  piece  on  the 
affirmative  side,  wherein  there  were,  I  suppose,  some  things 
really  verging  towards  Arminianism.  Upon  this,  Mr.  John 
Brine,  a  Baptist  Minister  in  London,  but  a  native  of  Kettering, 
published  a  letter  to  a  friend,  entitled,  The  Arminian  Principle  ft 
of  a  late  writer  refuted.  1743.  Though  Mr.  Brine  espoused 
the  negative  side  of  the  question,  yet  he  repeatedly  allows,  what 
no  man  of  reading  could  dispute,  that  many  sound  Calvinists 
embraced  the  affirmative  ;  and  professes  to  his  friend  concerning 
Mr.  Gutteridge,  "  Had  not  this  writer  attempted  to  build  up 
Arminianism  upon  the  foundation  of  the  opinion  of  evangelical 
repentance  and  special  faith  being  the  duties  of  unregenerate 
men,  I  had  not  given  you  and  the  world  this  trouble  ;  for,  though 
J  apprehend  that  opinion  is  not  to  be  supported  by  Scripture  and 
the  analogy  of  faith,  it  seems  not  to  me  to  be  of  such  consequence, 
but  that  persons  differing  in  this  point  may  fully  agree  about 
the  doctrines  of  the  grace  of  God." 

In  1752,  a  pamphlet  was  published  on  the  affirmative  side, 
by  Mr.  Alvery  Jackson,  a  Baptist  minister  in  Yorkshire,  whose 
daughter  married  Mr.  Abraham  Greenwood,  once  pastor  of  the 
church  at  Oakham  :  this  piece  was  edited  by  Dr.  Joseph  Sten- 
nett,  upon  which  Mr.  Brine  made  some  animadversions,  in  his 
Motives  to  Love  and  Unity  among  Calvinists  differing  in  opin- 
ion* A  very  peculiar  man,  Mr.  Johnson  ot  Liverpool,  published 
also  on  the  negative  side,  in  reply  to  Mr.  Jackson  ;  but  he  car- 
ried matters  to  so  extravagant  a  length,  that  Mr.  Brine  tfrought 


MEMOIRS    OF 

it  necessary  to  note  and  rectify  his  mistakes  ;  and  his  publica- 
tions were  very  little  regarded  by  Calvinists  in  general. 

However,  through  the  influence  of  Mr.  Brine  and  Dr.  Gill, 
who  both  took  the  negative  side  of  the  question,  (though  the 
latter  never  wrote  on  the  subject,)  this  opinion  spread  pretty 
much  among  the  ministers  of  the  Baptist  denomination.  And, 
though  the  controversy  had  subsided,  and  was  but  little  known 
among  the  people,  yet  the  preachers  were  too  much  restrained 
from  imitating  our  Lord  and  his  apostles,  in  calling  on  sinners 
to  "  repent  and  believe  the  gospel."  Many  of  these  ministers, 
indeed,  endeavoured  to  address  the  consciences  of  men,  as  far 
as  their  system  would  allow  ;  and  some  of  them  could  hardly 
refrain  from  expressing  themselves  inconsistently  with  their 
creed.  They  were  aware  that  the  divine  law  requires  such 
obedience  as  no  bad  man  will  yield  to  it ;  but,  though  they 
considered  all  mankind  as  bound  to  love  God  supremely,  yet 
they  supposed,  that  the  faith  connected  with  salvation  could 
not  be  a  duty,  because  Adam,  as  they  then  thought,  had  not 
fiower,  (that  is,  he  had  no  occasion,  or  opportunity)  to  believe 
in  Christ.* 

At  length,  several  of  them  began,  independently  of  each  other, 
to  examine  this  question  for  themselves,  and  were  convinced  that 
they  had  heedlessly  deviated  from  the  scripture  path,  in  which  the 
most  orthodox  of  their  predecessors  had  been  used  to  walk.f 

These  ministers,  however,  always  abhorred,  as  the  very  es- 
sence of  Antinomianism,  the  notion  that  the  law  is  not  binding 

*  *  Yet  Dr.  Gill,  in  his  Cause  of  God  and  Truth,  Part  III.  p.  81.  gives 
up  this  chief  argument  of  Mr  Brine,  and  says  :  "That  Adam,  in  a  state 
of  innocence,  had  a  power  of  believing  in  Christ,  and  did  believe  in  him, 
as  the  second  person  in  the  Trinity,  as  the  Son  of  God,  cannat  well  be 
denjed  ;  since,  with  the  other  two  persons,  he  was  his  Creator  and  Pre- 
server, the  knowledge  of  which  cannot  well  be  thought  to  be  withheld 
from  him.  And  his  not  believing  in  him  as  the  Mediator,  Saviour,  and 
Redeemer,  did  not  arise  from  any  defect,  of  power  in  him  /  but  from  the 
state,  condition,  and  situation  in  which  he  was,  and  from  the  nature  of  the 
revelation  made  to  him." 

f  The  sixty-second  of  Samuel  Rutherford's  Letters,  was  one  of  the  first 
things  that  put  me  to  a  stand  on  this  subject.  Closely  studying  Edwards 
on  the  Will,  and  entering  into  the  distinction  between  natural  and  moral 
inability,  removed  the  difficulties  which  had  once  embarrassed  my  mind. 
In  1776,  I  borrowed  of  Mr.  Newton,  of  Olney,  two  sermons  on  this  sub- 
ject, by  Mr.  Smalley,  which  Brother  Sutcliff  afterwards  reprinted  from 
the  copy  which  I  transcribed.  1  well  remember  lending  them  to  Mr.  Hall 
of  Arnsby,  to  whom  I  remarked,  that  I  was  ready  to  suspect,  that  this 
distinction  well  considered,  would  lead  us  to  see,  that  the  affirmative  side 
of  the  Modern  Question  was  fully  consistent  with  the  str  ctest  Calvinism, 
He  replied,  "  I  do  not  think  that."  But  I  believe  the  next  time  I  met  him 
was  at  a  Minister's  Meeting  at  Kcttering,  when  I  found  he  was  fully  sat 
isfted  of  the  truth  of  my  observation. 


MR.  FULLER. 

Upon  believers  as  a  rule  of  conduct.  Dr.  Gill,  Mr.  Brine,  and 
Mr.  Toplacly  utterly  reprobated  that  pernicious  sentiment,  into 
Which  so  many  have  eagerly  run  within  these  last  thirty  years. 

But,  at  the  former  period,  some  of  the  Calvinistic  Methodists, 
especially  in  Lady  Huntingdon's  Connexion,  were  becoming 
tinged  with  False  Calvinism.  These  were  not  led  into  it,  like 
the  admirers  of  Mr.  Brine  and  Dr.  Gill,  by  reading  a  great  deal 
of  controversial  divinity,  or  by  a  polemical  discussion  of  the  five 
points  disputed  between  us  and  the  Arminians  ;  but  by  a  vague, 
crude  idea  of  the  term  flower,  which  led  them  to  suppose,  that 
nothing  could  be  a  bad  man's  duty,  but  what  he  could  perform 
without  any  special  influence  from  God.  The  same  idea  was 
spreading,  faster  than  we  were  aware,  among  our  churches  also : 
the  ministers  might  distinguish  between  repentance  and  faith, 
and  other  internal  duties  ;  allowing  the  latter  to  be  required, 
while  they  scrupled  exhorting  men  to  the  foimer  :  but  had 
things  gone  on  a  little  longer  in  the  same  direction,  we  should 
soon  have  lost  sight  of  the  essence  of  duty,  and  of  the  spirituality 
of  the  divine  law  ;  and,  consequently,  men  would  have  been 
treated  as  though,  before  conversion,  they  were  fallen  below  all 
obligation  to  any  thing  spiritually  good,  and  as  though,  after 
conversion,  they  were  raised  above  all  obligation  to  any  thing; 
more  than  they  were  actually  inclined  to  perform.  Thus, 
inclination  would  have  been  made  the  measure  of  obligation  j 
duty  would  have  been  confined  to  the  outward  conduct  ;  the 
turpitude  of  sin  unspeakably  lessened  ;  and  grace  proportion- 
ably  eclipsed,  both  as  to  the  pardon  of  sin,  and  as  to  the  appli* 
cation  of  salvation  to  the  soul. 

Such  was  the  state  of  our  churches,  when  God  was  pleased 
to  call  my  dear  brother  by  his  grace,  and  to  bring  him  into 
the  ministry,  and,  soon  after,  imo  connexion  with  the  Northamp- 
tonshire Association. 

These  things  account  for  his  mind  having  been  so  early 
engaged  in  theological  disquisitions  ;  whereby  God  was  pre- 
paring him  to  be  an  instrument  of  checking  the  progress  of 
False  Calvinism,  and  bringing  back  many  from  the  very  bor- 
ders of  Antinouiianism. 

Having  premised  these  observations,  I  shall  proceed,  after 
noticing  his  parentage  to  present  my  readers  with  an  account 
of  his  earliest  religious  impressions,  his  conversion,  anu  en- 
trance on  the  work  ot  the  ministry,  in  his  own  words. 


CHAP.  If. 


J*R.  FULLER'S  BIRTH  AND  PARENTAGE — SOME  ACCOUNT 
OF  HIS  ANCESTORS HIS    OWN    NARRATIVE    OF  HIS 

EARLY  RELIGIOUS  IMPRESSIONS,  AND  HIS  SUBSE- 
QUENT CONVERSION  TO  GOD  ;  WITH  HIS  ENTRANCE 
ON  THE  WORK  OF  THE  CHRISTIAN  MINISTRY,  AND 
EARLY  EMBARRASSMENTS  REfPECTING  VARIOUS  THE- 
OLOGICAL CONTROVERSIES. 


MR.  ANDREW  FULLER  was  born  on  the  6th  of  February, 
1754,  at  Wicken,  a  village  in  Cambridgeshire,  seven  miles 
from  Ely,  and  about  the  same  distance  from  Newmarket.  In 
this  vfllage  his  paternal  ancestors  had  resided  from  time  im- 
memorial. 

His  father,  Robert  Fuller,  was  a  farmer :  he  removed,  in  1758, 
from  Wicken  to  Mildenhall ;  in  1761,  to  Soham ;  in  1773,  to 
Bottisham  ;  (until  which  time  his  son  Andrew  assisted  him  in 
his  business;)  and,  in  1780,  to  Isleham  ; — places  at  no  great 
distance  from  one  another,  in  each  of  which  he  rented  a  small 
farm,  and  at  the  last  of  which  he  died,  on  January  29,  1781, 
aged  58. 

His  mother,  Philippa,  daughter  of  Mr.  Andrew  Gunton,  a 
farmer  at  Soham,  was  a  member  of  the  Baptist  church  there? 
but  resided  many  years  at  Kettering.  She  survived  to  lament 


MEMOIRS    OF,    &C.  -:> 

the  loss  of  iier  dutiful  and  affectionate  son  ;  but  on  May  27, 
1816,  she  departed  this  life,  in  her  90th  year,  with  a  hope  full 
of  glory,  and  entered  on  a  reunion  with  him,  in  a  state  of  eter- 
nal felicity-  She  had  two  other  sons,  who  are  yet  living  ;  name- 
ly,  Mr.  Robert  Fuller,  a  farmer  at  Isleham,  born  in  1747  ;  and 
Mr.  John  Fuller,*  a  farmer  at  Little  Bentley,  in  Essex,  born  in 
1748  :  they  are  both  deacons  of  Baptist  churches.  But,  as 
several  of  Mr.  Fuller's  ancestors  were  not  only  eminent  for 
piety,  but  suffered  in  the  cause  of  pure  and  undefiled  religion, 
some  farther  notice  of  them  may  not  be  unacceptable  to  the 
reader. 

"  His  paternal  grandfather  was  Robert  Fuller,  of  Wicken. 
He  married  Honour  Hart,  a  pious  woman,  who  travelled,  to 
attend  public  worship,  from  Wicken  to  Isleham,  where  she  was 
a  member  of  an  Independent  church,  till,  being  convinced  of 
the  propriety  of  believers'  baptism,  she  joined  the  church  at 
Soham,  in  which  she  continued  till  her  death.  Her  father  was 
Robert  Hart,  of  Swaffham  Prior,  in  Cambridgeshire,  who,  (ac- 
cording to  tradition  preserved  in  the  family,)  was  converted,  in 
a  wood  near  Burwell,  under  the  preaching  of  Mr.  Francis  Hoi- 
croft,!  one  of  the  ejected  ministers.  Mr.  Holcroft  was  im- 
prisoned in  Cambridge  castle,  (1663)  by  Sir  Thomas  Chickley, 
for  preaching  at  Great  Eversden.  His  first  confinement  lasted 
nine  years ;  but  the  jailer  suffered  him  sometimes  to  go  out  by 
night,  to  preach  at  Kingstone,  and  in  this  wood.  Mr.  Hart  was 
afterwards  a  member  of  the  church  at  Isleham. 

His  maternal  grandfather  was  Andrew  Gunton,  of  Soham, 
whose  wife  was  Philippa  Stevenson.  She  was  first  a  member 
«f  the  Independent  church  at  Burwell,  and  afterwards  of  the 
Baptist  church  at  Soham,  at  its  first  formation,  under  the  pas- 
toral care  of  Mr.  John  Eve.  Her  father  was  named  Friend 
Stevenson,  who  lived  at  Soham  ;  his  wife  was  named  Mary 
Maiden  :  she  was  remarkable  for  piety,  and  was  buried  in  the 
meeting-house  at  Burwell.  Her  parents  were  John  and  Joan 

*  Father  of  Joseph  Fuller,  a  most  amiable  and  promising  youth,  of 
whose  future  usefulness  in  the  church  of  God,  1  indulged  the  highest  ex- 
pectations, which  sovereign  wisdom  thought  good  to  disappoint,  by  re- 
moving him  from  our  world,  by  a  decline,  in  his  19th  year,  bee  a  more 
particular  account  of  him  in  Chap.  IX. 

f  He  was  Fellow  of  Clare  Hall,  before  his  ejectment.  He  had  been  a 
pupil  of  Mr  David  Clarkson,  and  chamber-fi  How  with  Dr.  Tillotson,  af- 
terwards Archbishop  of  Canterbury,  from  whom  he  experienced  great 
Kindness  under  his  troubles. 


l>  MEMOIRS    OF 

Maiden,  who  lived  at  Soham  in  the  reign  of  Charles  II. ;  when 
they  were  objects  of  ridicule  and  persecution,  on  account  of 
their  nonconformity.  They  were  friends  of  Mr.  Holcroft  and 
Mr.  Oddy,  and  were  buried  near  them,  in  a  piece  of  ground 
which  the  former  purchased  for  a  burying-ground,  at  Oaking- 
ton,  a  village  three  or  four  miles  north  of  Cambridge.  „  These 
two  zealous  nonconformists  were  the  founders  of  almost  all  the 
dissenting  churches  about  Cambridgeshire.* 

Thus,  John  and  Joan  Maiden  were  the  parents  of  Mary,  the 
wife  of  Friend  Stevenson  ;  whose  daughter,  Philippa  Steven- 
son, became  the  wife  of  Andrew  Gunton  ;  and  their  daughter, 
Philippa  Gunton,  married  Robert  Fuller  the  younger,  of  Wick- 
en,  and  was  the  mother  of  the  Rev.  Andrew  Fuller. 

And  Robert  Hart,  of  S  waff  ham  Prior,  was  the  father  of 
Honour  Hart,  who  married  Robert  Fuller  the  elder,  of  Wick- 
en,  whose  son  Robert  was  our  Mr.  Fuller's  father. 

Of  Mr.  Fuller's  first  religious  impressions  he  himself  wrote 
an  account  to  his  much  respected  friend,  Dr.  C.  Stuart  ot  Ed- 
inburgh, in  five  letters ;  the  first  two  of  which  were  inserted  in 
the  Evangelical  Magazine,  1788,  but  without  any  hint  of  the 
person  to  whom  they  referred.  He  also  sent  a  similar  detail, 
more  lately,  to  a  friend  at  Liverpool,  with  a  few  variations  of 
expression. 

I  wish,  as  much  as  possible,  to  let  my  dear  departed  brother 
be  his  own  biographer  ;  and  shall  therefore  insert  the  narrative, 
as  given  by  himself.  Possibly  some  sincere  Christian  may  be 
puzzled  for  a  time,  on  reading  the  first  letter ;  but  it  is  better 
that  such  an  one  should  be  subjected  to  temporary  pain,  in 
learning  to  distinguish  between  genuine  and  false  religion,  than 
that  others,  who  mistake  counterfeit  experience  for  the  true 
work  of  the  Holy  Spirit,  should  be  left  to  deceive  themselves. 
Close  examination  will  soon  lead  to  discern  the  essential  differ- 
ence ;  and  a  good  hope  will  stand  firmer,  if  both  feet  are  placed 
on  the  rock  alone,  than  if  one  rested  partly  on  a  quicksand. 

LETTER    I. 

«  Kettering,   1798. 

'*  My  dear  Friend, — You  request  the  particulars  of  that 
change,  of  which  I  was  the  subject  near  thirty  years  ago.  You 

"  See  Palmer's  Nonconformist's  Memoral,  Vol.  I.  pp,  202.  216.    First 
Edition. 


MR.    FULLER.  ' 

need  not  be  told,  that  the  religious  experience  of  fallible  crea- 
tures, like  every  thing  else  that  attends  them,  must  needs  be 
marked  with  imperfection,  and  that  the  account  that  can  be 
given  of  it  on  paper,  after  a  lapse  of  many  years,  must  be  so 
in  a  still  greater  degree.  I  am  willing,  however,  to  comply  with 
your  request ;  and  the  rather,  because  it  may  serve  to  recal 
some  things,  which,  in  passing  over  the  mind,  produce  inter- 
esting and  useful  sensations,  both  of  pain  and  pleasure. 

"  My  father  and  mother  were  dissenters,  of  the  Calvinistic 
persuasion,  who  were  in  the  habit  of  hearing  Mr.  Eve,  a  Baptist 
minister ;  who,  being  what  is  here  termed  high  in  his  senti- 
ments, or  tinged  with  false  Calvinism,  had  little  or  nothing  to 
say  to  the  unconverted.  I,  therefore,  never  considered  myself 
as  any  way  concerned  in  what  I  heard  from  the  pulpit.  Nev- 
ertheless, by  reading  and  reflection,  I  was  sometimes  strongly 
impressed  in  a  way  of  conviction.  My,  parents  were  engaged 
in  husbandry ;  which  occupation,  therefore,  I  followed,  to  the 
wentieth  year  of  my  age.  I  remember  many  of  the  sins  of 
my  childhood ;  among  which  were  lying,  cursing,  and  swear- 
ing. It  is  true,  as  to  the  latter,  it  never  became  habitual.  I  had 
a  dread  upon  my  spirits  to  such  a  degree,  that,  when  I  uttered 
an  oath,  or  an  imprecation,  it  was  by  a  kind  of  force  put  upon 

\my  feelings,  and  merely  to  appear  manly,  like  other  boys  with 
Whom  I  associated.  This  being  the  case,  when  I  came  to  be 
about  ten  years  old,  I  entirely  left  it  off ;  except  that  I  some- 
times dealt  in  a  sort  of  minced  oaths  and  imprecations,  when 
my  passions  were  inflamed. 

«  In  the  practice  of  telling  lies  I  continued  some  years 
longer  ;  at  length,  however,  I  began  to  consider  this  as  a  mean 
vice,  and  accordingly,  left  it  off,  except  in  cases  where  I  was 
under  some  pressing  temptation. 

« I  think  I  must  have  been  nearly  fourteen  years  old,  be- 
fore I  began  to  have  much  serious  thought  about  futurity. 
The  preaching  upon  which  I  attended  was  not  adapted  to 
awaken  my  conscience,  as  the  minister  had  seiciom  any  thing 
to  say,  except  to  believers  ;  and  what  believing  was,  I  neither 
knew,  nor  was  I  greatly  concerned  to  know.  I  remember, 
about  this  time,  as  I  was  walking  alone,  I  put  the  question  to 
myself,  *  What  is  faith  ?  there  is  much  made  of  it :  what  is  it  ?' 
I  could  not  tell ;  but  satisfied  myself  in  thinking  that  it  was  not 


MEMOIRS    OF 

of  immediate  concern,  and  that  I  should  understand  it  as  I 
grew  older.* 

"  At  times,  conviction  laid  fast  hold  of  me,  and  rendered  me 
extremely  unhappy.  The  light  I  had  received,  I  know  not  how, 
would  not  suffer  me  to  go  into  sin  with  that  ease  which  1  ob- 
served in  other  lads.  One  winter  evening,  I  remember  going 
with  a  number  of  other  boys,  to  a  smith's  shop,  to  warm  our- 
selves by  his  fire.  Presently  they  began  to  sing  vain  songs. 
This  appeared  to  me  so  much  like  revelling,  that  I  felt  some- 
thing within  me  which  would  not  suffer  me  to  join  them  ;  and 
while  I  sat  silent,  in  rather  an  unpleasant  muse,  those  words 
sunk  into  my  mind  like  a  dagger,  *  What  doest  thou  here, 
Elijah  ?'  I  immediately  left  the  company ;  yet,  shocking  to 
reflect  upon,  I  walked  home,  murmuring  in  my  heart  against 
God,  that  I  could  not  be  let  alone,  and  suffered  to  take  my 
pleasure  like  other  young  people  ! 

"  Sometimes,  I  was  very  much  affected,  in  thinking  of  the 
doctrines  of  Christianity,  or  in  reading  such  books  as  Bunyan's 
Grace  abounding-  to  the  Chief  of  Sinners,  his  Pilgrim's  Pro- 
gress, &c.  One  day,  in  particular,  I  took  up  Ralph  Erskine's 
Gosfiel  Sonnets  ;  and,  upon  opening  what  he  entitles,  A  Gos- 
pel Catechism  for  Young  Christians  :  or,  Christ  All  in  All  in  our 

*  About  this  time,  an  incident  took  place,  which  Mr.  Fuller  mentioned 
to  me  many  years  ago. 

Being  sent  by  his  father,  to  do  some  business  in  the  pastures,  he  per- 
ceived  a  hawk's  nest  on  one  of  the  trees  He  climbed  the  tree,  and  found 
two  young  hawks,  with  which  he  was  greatly  pleased.  Having  to  perform 
his  business  in  the  pasture,  he  tied  the  birds  to  a  bush,  and  went  to  work. 
Soon  after,  on  going  to  the  place,  he  found  they  had  made  their  escape 
In  the  midst  of  his  concern,  he  thought  of  those  words — "  If  ye  have  faith 
as  a  grain  of  mustard-seed,  ye  shall  say  to  this  mountain,  Remove  thence, 
to  yonder  place,  and  it  shall  remove."  '  Now,  (thought  he)  if  a  moun- 
tain should  remove,  why  not  a  bird  ?*  He  thought,  moreover,  that  this 
was  a  fit  opportunity  to  try  whether  he  had  any  faith,  or  not.  Accord- 
ingly, he  very  gravely  commanded  the  birds  to  appear  before  him  ;  but 
thwy  did  not  came  !  He  was  more  concerned,  however,  for  the  loss  of 
his  birds,  than  for  his  want  of  f*ith  :  he  thought,  that  might  come  some 
time  ;  but  the  birds  would  not  ! 

At  anoiht-r  time  he  was  climbing  for  a  rook's  nest,  which  was  very 
high,  and  stoo:{  upon  a  small  bough,  of  a  kind  of  wood  which  was  very 
liable  to  break.  He  s;it  some  time,  on  an  arm  of  the  tree,  viewing  the 
nest.  He  thought,  thtre  was  great  danger  of  the  bough  breaking,  and  if 
it  did,  of  his  losing  his  life.  The  thought  occurred,  however,  that  God 
could  prevent  its  breaking  So  he  prayed  to  him  to  do  so  :  and  upon  this 
presumption,  ventured  up  !  The  bough  did  not  break ;  and  supposing 
that  this  prayer  was  answered,  he  descended  from  the  tree  with  a  heart 
full  of  Pharisaical  pride,  imagining  that  he  was  oae  of  the  favourites  of 
heaven. 

Such  was  the  darkness  and  levity  of  his  mind  at  that  time  ;  but  he  af- 
terwards felt  very  different  sensations,  on  reflecting  on  the  divine  patience 
and  forbearance,  which  thus  preserved  him.  before  he  was  effectually 
called  by  divine  grace.  R*- 


MR*   FULLER.  9 

Comfilete  Redemption  ;  I  read,  and  as  I  read  I  wept.  Indeed, 
I  was  almost  overcome  with  weeping  :  so  interesting  did  the 
doctrine  of  eternal  salvation  appear  to  me :  yet,  there  being  no 
radical  change  in  my  heart,  these  thoughts  passed  away,  and  I 
was  equally  intent  on  the  pursuits  of  folly,  as  heretofore. 

"  Yet  I  often  felt  a  strange  kind  of  regard  towards  good  peo- 
ple, such  of  them,  especially,  as  were  familiar  in  their  beha- 
viour to  young  persons,  and  would  sometimes  talk  to  me  about 
religion.  I  used  to  wish  I  had  many  thousand  pounds,  that  I 
might  give  some  of  it  to  those  of  them  who  were  poor  as  to 
their  worldly  circumstances. 

"  I  was,  at  times,  the  subject  of  such  convictions  and  af- 
fections, that  I  really  thought  myself  converted,  and  lived  under 
that  delusion  for  a  long  time.  The  ground  on  which  I  rested 
that  opinion,  was  as  follows  :  One  morning,  I  think  about  the 
year  1767,  as  I  was  walking  alone,  I  began  to  think  seriously 
what  would  become  of  my  poor  soul,  and  was  deeply  affected 
in  thinking  of  my  condition.  I  felt  myself  the  slave  of  sin,  and 
that  it  had  such  power  over  me,  that  it  was  in  vain  for  me  to 
think  of  extricating  myself  from  its  thraldom.  Till  now,  I  did 
not  know  but  that  I  could  repent  at  any  time  ;  but  now,  I  per- 
ceived that  my  heart  was  wicked,  and  that  it  was  not  in  me  to 
turn  to  God,  or  to  break  off  my  sins  by  righteousness.  I  saw, 
that  if  God  would  forgive  me  all  the  past,  and  offer  me  the 
kingdom  of  heaven  on  condition  of  giving  up  my  wicked  pur- 
suits, I  should  not  accept  it.  This  conviction  was  accompa- 
nied with  great  depression  of  heart.  I  walked  sorrowfully 
along,  repeating  these  words  :  '  Iniquity  will  be  my  ruin  !  Ini- 
quity will  be  my  ruin  !'  While  poring  over  my  unhappy  case, 
those  words  of  the  Apostle  suddenly  occurred  to  my  mind 
*  Sin  shall  not  have  dominion  over  you  ;  for  ye  are  not  under  the 
law,  but  under  grace.'  Now,  the  suggestion  of  a  text  of  Scrip- 
ture to  the  mind,  especially  if  it  came  with  power,  was  generally 
considered,  by  the  religious  people  with  whom  I  occasionally 
associated,  as  a  promise  coming  immediately  from  God.*  I, 
therefore,  so  understood  it,  and  thought  that  God  had  thus  re- 
vealed to  me  that  I  was  in  a  state  of  salvation,  and  that,  there- 
fore, iniquity  should  not,  as  I  had  feared,  be  my  ruin.  The 
effect  was,  I  was  overcome  with  joy  and  transport.  I  shed,  I 

*  See  Remarks  upon  the  Notion  of  Extraordinary  Impulses  and  Impres« 
oas  on  the  Imagination,  indulged  by  many  Professors  of  Religion;         K. 

2 


10  MEMOIRS    df 

suppose,  thousands  of  tears  as  I  walked  along,  and  seemed  to? 
feel  myself,  as  it  were,  in  a  new  world.  It  appeared  to  me» 
that  I  hated  my  sins,  and  was  resolved  to  forsake  them.  Think- 
ing on  my  wicked  courses,  I  remember  using  those  words  of 
Paul,  <  Shall  I  continue  in  sin,  that  grace  may  abound  ?  God 
forbid  !'  I  felt,  or  seemed  to  feel,  the  strongest  indignation 
at  the  thought.  But,  strange  as  it  may  appear,  though  my  face 
was  that  morning,  I  believe,  swoln  with  weeping,  before  night 
all  was  gone  and  forgotten,  and  I  returned  to  my  former  vices 
with  as  eager  a  gust  as  ever.  Nor  do  I  remember,  that,  for 
more  than  half  a  year  afterwards,  I  had  any  serious  thoughts 
about  the  salvation  of  my  soul.  I  lived  entirely  without  pray- 
er, and  was  wedded  to  my  sins  just  the  same  as  before,  or, 
rather,  was  increasingly  attached  to  them. 

"  Some  time  in  the  following  year,  I  was  again  walking  by 
myself,  and  began  to  reflect  upon  my  course  of  life  ;  particu- 
larly upon  my  former  hopes  and  affections,  and  how  I  had  since 
forgotten  them  all,  and  returned  to  all  my  wicked  ways.  In- 
stead of  sin  having  no  more  dominion  over  me,  I  perceived  that 
its  dominion  had  been  increased.  Yet,  I  still  thought,  that 
must  have  been  a  promise  from  God  to  me,  and  that  I  must  have 
been  a  converted  person,  but  in  a  backsliding  state.  And  this 
persuasion  was  confirmed  by  another  sudden  impression,  which 
dispelled  my  dejection,  in  these  words :  <  I  have  blotted  out  as 
a  thick  cloud  thy  transgressions,  and  as  a  cloud  thy  sins.'  ThiS| 
like  the  former,  overcame  my  mind  with  joy.  I  wept  much 
at  the  thoughts  of  having  backslidden  so  long,  but  yet  consid- 
ered myself  now  as  restored  and  happy.  But  this  also  was  mere 
transient  affection.  I  have  great  reason  to  think,  that  the  great 
deep  of  my  heart's  depravity  had  not  yet  been  broken  up,  and 
that  all  my  religion  was  without  any  abiding  principle.  Amidst 
it  all,  I  still  continued  in  the  neglect  of  prayer,  and  was  never, 
that  I  recollect,  induced  to  deny  myself  of  any  sin,  when  temp- 
tations were  presented.  I  now  thought,  however,  4  Surely  I 
shall  be  better  for  the  time  to  come.'  But  alas  !  in  a  few  days 
this  also  was  forgotten,  and  I  returned  to  my  evil  courses  with 
as  great  an  eagerness  as  ever. 

"  I  was  now  about  fifteen  years  of  age  ;  and  as,  notwithstand- 
ing my  convictions  and  hopes,  the  bias  of  my  heart  was  not 
changed,  I  became  more  and  more  addicted  to  evil,  in  propor- 
tion as  my  powers  and  passions  strengthened.  Nor  was  I 


MR.    FULLER.  11 

merely  prompted  by  my  own  propensities  ;  for,  having  formed 
acquaintance  with  other  wicked  young  people,  my  progress  in 
the  way  to  death  became  greatly  accelerated.  Being  of  an 
athletic  frame,  and  of  a  daring  spirit,  I  was  often  engaged  in 
such  exercises  and  exploits,  as,  if  the  good  hand  of  God  had 
not  preserved  me,  might  have  issued  in  death.  I  also  frequently 
engaged  in  games  of  hazard,  which,  though  not  to  any  great 
amount,  yet  were  very  bewitching  to  me,  and  tended  greatly  to 
corrupt  my  mind.  These,  with  various  other  sinful  practices, 
had  so  hardened  my  heart,  that  I  seldom  thought  of  religion. 
Nay,  I  recollect,  that,  on  a  Lord's  day  evening  about  that  time, 
when  my  parents  were  reading  in  the  family,  I  was  shamefully 
engaged  with  one  of  the  servants,  playing  idle  tricks,  though  I 
took  care  not  to  be  seen  in  them.  These  things  were  nothing 
to  me  at  that  time  ;  for  my  conscience,  by  reiterated  acts  of 
wickedness,  had  become  seared,  as  with  a  hot  iron  :  they  were, 
however,  heavy  burdens  to  me  afterwards. 

"  But  as  I  have  now  brought  down  my  narrative  to  the  period 
when,  I  trust,  God  began  to  work  effectually  on  my  heart,  I 
will  leave  that  part  to  another  opportunity,  and  for  the  present, 
subscribe  myself, 

«  Yours,  Affectionately,    A.  F." 

LETTER  II. 

«  My  dear  Friend, — I  embrace  the  earliest  opportunity  of 
concluding  the  narrative  which  I  began  at  your  request.  By 
the  close  of  my  last,  you  would  perceive,  that  at  near  sixteen 
years  of  age,  I  was,  notwithstanding  various  convictions  and 
transient  affections,  pressing  on  in  a  lamentable  career  of  wick- 
edness. But,  about  the  autumn  of  1769,  my  convictions  revis- 
ited me,  and  brought  on  such  a  concern  about  my  everlasting 
welfare,  as  issued,  1  trust,  in  real  conversion. 

"  It  was  my  common  practice,  after  the  business  of  the  day 
was  over,  to  get  into  bad  company  in  the  evening,  and,  when 
there,  I  indulged  in  sin  without  restraint.  But,  after  persisting 
in  this  course  for  some  time,  I  began  to  be  very  uneasy, 
particularly  in  a  morning,  when  I  first  awoke.  It  was  almost 
as  common  for  me  to  be  seized  with  keen  remorse  at  this  hour, 
as  it  was  to  go  into  vain  company  in  the  evening.  At  first  I 
began  to  make  -vows  of  reformation  ;  and  this,  for  the  moment, 
would  afford  a  little  ease  :  but,  as  the  temptations  returned,  my 
vows  were  of  no  account.  It  was  an  enlightened  conscience 


1J5  MEMOIRS    OF 

only  that  was  on  the  side  of  God  :  my  heart  was  still  averse  to 
every  thing  that  was  spiritual  or  holy.  For  several  weeks,  I  went 
on  in  this  way  ;  vowing  and  breaking  my  vows,  reflecting  on 
myself  for  my  evil  conduct,  and  yet  continually  repeating  it. 

"  It  was  not  now,  however,  as  heretofore :  my  convictions  fol- 
lowed me  up  closely.  I  could  not,  as  formerly,  forget  these 
things,  and  was  therefore  a  poor  miserable  creature ;  like  a 
drunkard,  who  carouses  in  the  evening,  but  mopes  about  the 
next  day  like  one  half  dead. 

"  One  morning,  I  think  in  November,  1769,  I  walked  out 
by  myself,  with  an  unusual  load  of  guilt  upon  my  conscience. 
The  remembrance  of  my  sin,  not  only  on  the  past  evening,  but 
for  a  long  time  back,  the  breach  of  my  vows,  and  the  shocking 
termination  of  my  former  hopes  and  affections,  all  uniting  to- 
gether, formed  a  burden  which  I  knew  not  how  to  bear.  The 
reproaches  of  a  guilty  conscience  seemed  like  the  gnawing 
worm  of  hell.  I  thought,  *  Surely  that  must  be  an  earnest  of 
hell  itself!'  The  fire  and  brimstone  of  the  bottomless  pit  seemed 
to  burn  within  my  bosom.  1  do  not  write  in  the  language  of 
exaggeration.  I  now  know  that  the  sense  which  I  then  had  of 
the  evil  of  sin,  and  the  wrath  of  God,  was  very  far  short  of  the 
truth  ;  but  yet  it  seemed  more  than  I  was  able  to  sustain.  In 
reflecting  upon  my  broken  vows,  I  saw  that  there  was  no  truth 
in  me.  I  saw  that  God  would  be  perfectly  just  in  sending  me 
to  hell,  and  that  to  hell  I  must  go,  unless  I  were  saved  of  mere 
grace,  and  as  it  were  in  spite  of  myself.  I  felt,  that  if  God 
were  to  forgive  me  all  my  past  sins,  I  should  again  destroy  my 
soul,  and  that,  in  less  than  a  day's  time.  I  never  before  knew 
what  it  was  to  feel  myself  an  odious,  lost  sinner,  standing  in 
need  of  both  pardon  and  purification.  Yet,  though  I  needed 
these  blessings,  it  seemed  presumption  to  hope  for  them,  after 
what  I  had  done.  I  was  absolutely  helpless,  and  seemed  to 
have  nothing  about  me  that  ought  to  excite  the  pity  of  God,  or 
that  I  could  reasonably  expect  should  do  so ;  but  every  thing 
disgusting  to  him,  and  provoking  to  the  eyes  of  his  glory. 
4  What  have  I  done  ?  What  must  I  do  ?'  These  were  my  in- 
quiries, perhaps  ten  times  over.  Indeed,  I  knew  not  what  to 
do  1  I  durst  not  promise  amendment ;  for  I  saw  such  prom- 
ises were  self-deception.  To  hope  for  forgiveness  in  the  course 
that  I  was  in,  was  the  height  of  presumption  ;  and  to  think  of 
Christ,  after  having  so  baseiy  abused  his  grace,  seemed  too 


MR.    PULLER.  13 

much.  So  I  had  no  refuge.  At  one  moment  I  thought  of 
giving  myself  up  to  despair.  '  I  may  (said  I  within  myself) 
even  return,  and  take  my  fill  of  sin  ;  I  can  but  be  lost.'  This 
thought  made  me  shudder  at  myself  My  heart  revolted- 
'  What !  (thought  I)  give  up  Christ,  and  hope,  and  heaven  I* 
Those  lines  of  Ralph  Erskine's  then  occurred  to  my  mind — 

«  But  say,  if  all  the  gusts 
And  grains  of  love  be  spent, 
Say,  Farewel  Christ,  and  welcome  lusts — 
Stop,  stop  :  1  melt,  I  faint  !' 

I  could  not  bear  the  thought  of  plunging  myself  into  endless 
ruin. 

"  It  is  difficult,  at  this  distance  of  time,  to  recollect  with 
precision  the  minute  workings  of  my  mind ;  but,  as  near  as 
I  can  remember,  I  was  like  a  man  drowning,  looking  every 
way  for  help,  or  rather,  catching  for  something  by  which  he 
might  save  his  life.  I  tried  to  find  whether  there  were  any 
hope  in  the  divine  mercy,  any  in  the  Saviour  of  sinners  ;  but 
felt  repulsed  by  the  thought  of  mercy  having  been  so  basely 
abused  already.  In  this  state  of  mind,  as  I  was  moving  slowly 
on,  I  thought  of  the  resolution  of  Job,  '  Though  he  slay  me, 
yet  will  I  trust  in  him.'  I  paused,  and  repeated  the  words  over 
and  over.  Each  repetition  seemed  to  kindle  a  ray  of  hope, 
mixed  with  a  determination,  if  I  might,  to  cast  my  perishing 
soul  upon  the  Lord  Jesus  Christ  for  salvation,  to  be  both  par- 
doned and  purified ;  for  1  felt  that  I  needed  the  one  as  much  as 
the  other. 

"  I  was  not  then  aware  that  any  poor  sinner  had  a  warrant 
to  believe  in  Christ  for  the  salvation  of  his  soul  ;*  but  supposed 
there  must  be  some  kind  of  qualification  to  entitle  him  to  do  it; 
yet  I  was  aware  that  I  had  no  qualifications.  J  On  a  review  of 
my  resolution  at  that  time,  it  seems  to  resemble  that  of  Esther, 
who  went  into  the  king's  presence,  contrary  to  law,  and  at  the 
hazard  of  her  life.  Like  her,  I  seemed  reduced  to  extremities, 
impelled  by  dire  necessity,  to  run  all  hazards,  even  though  I 

*  See  on  this  point,  a  Sermon  published  by  desire  of  the  Baptist  Asso- 
ciation at  Lyrae,  entitled  The  Necessity  of  the  Trumpet's  giving  a  Certain 
Sound,  pp.  24,  25.  This  herraon  was  recommended  by  my  departed 
Brother,  in  the  Baptist  Magazine,  Dec.  1813,  p  467-  That  passage  in 
John  vi.  50,  51-  would  have  been  more  expressive,  if  the  indefinite,  pronoun 
Tit,  had  been  literally  translated.  The  like  deviation  from  the  orig- 
inal* in  Matth.  xi.  27.  seems  to  imply,  that  God  the  Father  is  a  man  !  K. 


14  MEMOIRS     OF 

should  perish  in  the  attempt.  Yet  it  was  not  altogether  from 
a  dread  of  wrath  that  I  fled  to  this  refuge  ;  for  I  well  remember, 
that  I  felt  something  attracting  in  the  Saviour.  <  I  must — 
I  will — yes — I  will  trust  my  soul,  my  sinful,  lost  soul  in  his 
hands — If  I  perish,  I  perish  !'  However  it  was,  I  was  deter- 
mined to  cast  myself  upon  Christ,  thinking,  peradventure,  he 
would  save  my  soul ;  and  if  not,  I  could  but  be  lost.  In  this  way 
I  continued  above  an  hour,  weeping  and  supplicating  mercy  for 
the  Saviour's  sake  :  (my  soul  hath  it  still  in  remembrance,  and  is 
humbled  in  me  !)  and  as  the  eye  of  the  mind  was  more  and  more 
fixed  upon  him,  my  guilt  and  fears  were  gradually  and  insensibly 
removed. 

"  I  now  found  rest  for  my  troubled  soul ,  and  I  reckon,  that 
I  should  have  found  it  sooner,  if  I  had  not  entertained  the  notion 
of  my  having  no  warrant  to  come  to  Christ  without  some  pre- 
vious qualification.  This  notion  was  a  bar  that  kept  me  back 
for  a  time  ;  though,  through  divine  drawings,  I  was  enabled  to 
overleap  it.  As  near  as  I  can  remember,  in  the  early  part  of 
these  exercises,  when  I  subscribed  to  the  justice  of  God  in  my 
condemnation,  and  thought  of  the  Saviour  of  sinners,  I  had 
then  relinquished  every  false  confidence,  believed  my  help  to 
be  only  in  him,  and  approved  of  salvation  by  grace  alone, 
through  his  death  ;  and  if  at  that  time  I  had  known  that  any- 
poor  sinner  might  warrantably  have  trusted  in  him  for  salvation* 
J  believe  I  should  have  done  so,  and  have  found  rest  to  my  soul 
sooner  than  I  did.  I  mention  this,  because  it  may  be  the  case 
with  others,  who  may  be  kept  in  darkness  and  despondency  by 
erroneous  views  of  the  gospel  much  longer  than  I  was. 

*'  I  think  also,  I  did  repent  of  my  sin  in  the  early  part  of 
these  exercises,  and  before  I  thought  that  Christ  would  accept 
and  save  my  soul.  I  conceive,  that  justifying  God  in  my 
condemnation,  and  approving  the  way  of  salvation  by  Jesus 
Christ,  necessarily  included  it ;  but  yet  I  did  not  think  at  the 
time,  that  this  was  repentance,  or  any  thing  truly  good. 
Indeed,  I  thought  nothing  about  the  exercises  of  my  own  mind, 
but  merely  of  my  guilty  and  lost  condition,  and  whether  there 
were  any  hope  of  escape  for  me.  But,  having  found  rest  for 
my  soul  in  the  cross  of  Christ,  I  was  now  conscious  of  my 
being  the  subject  of  repentance,  faith,  and  love.  When  I 
thought  of  my  past  life,  I  abhorred  myself,  and  repented  as 
in  dust  and  ashes ;  and  when  I  thought  of  the  gospel  way  of 


MR.    FULLER. 

salvation,  I  drank  it  in  as  cold  water  is  imbibed  by  a  thirsty 
soul  My  heart  felt  one  with  Christ,  and  dead  to  every  other 
object  around  me.  I  had  thought  I  had  found  the  joys  of  salva- 
tion heretofore ;  but  now  I  knew  I  had  found  them,  and  was 
conscious  that  I  had  passed  from  death  unto  life.  Yet,  even  now 
my  mind  was  not  so  engaged  in  reflecting  upon  my  own  feel- 
ings, as  upon  the  objects  which  occasioned  them. 

«  From  this  time,  my  former  wicked  courses  were  forsaken. 
I  had  no  manner  of  desire  after  them.  They  lost  their  influence 
upon  me.  To  those  evils,  a  glance  at  which  before  would 
have  set  my  passions  in  a  flame,  I  now  felt  no  inclination.  « My 
soul  (said  J,  with  joy  and  triumph,)  is  as  a  weaned  child  !'  I  now 
knew,  experimentally,  what  it  was  to  be  dead  to  the  world  by 
the  cross  of  Christ,  and  to  feel  an  habitual  determination  to  de- 
vote my  future  life  to  God  my  Saviour. 

«  From  this  time,  I  considered  the  vows  of  God  as  upon 
me.  But,  ah  !  I  have  great  reason  for  shame  and  bitter  reflec- 
tion, on  reviewing  the  manner  in  which  they  have  been  fulfilled. 
Nevertheless,  by  the  help  of  God,  I  continue  in  his  service  to 
this  day  ;  and  daily  live  in  hopes  of  eternal  life,  through  Jesus 
Christ  my  Lord  and  only  Saviour. 

"  I  am  affectionately  yours,      A.  F." 
LETTER  III. 

Jan.  8th,  1815. 

u  My  dear  Friend,  In  recollecting  the  early  exercises  of  my 
mind,  I  see  a  great  difference  between  resfiect  and  love.  I  never 
knew  the  time  when  I  did  not  respect  good  men  ;  but  I  did  not 
love  them  for  Christ's  sake.  There  was  one  poor  man,  in  partic- 
ular, who  used  to  travel  about  three  miles  on  a  Lord's  day  morn- 
ing, to  worship ;  and,  as  I  often  attended  at  the  same  place,!  was 
frequently  very  eager  to  get  his  company.  I  have  run  miles,  to 
overtake  him,  though  when  I  was  with  him  I  had  nothing  to 
say.  In  the  autumn  of  1769,  he  became  my  father's  thrasher  . 
and  I  was  delighted  on  account  of  it,  though  I  scarcely  knew  for 
what  reason.  It  was  in  the  November  of  this  year,  that  the 
things  related  in  my  last  letter  occurred.  My  mind  was  now  at 
rest  in  Christ ;  yet  I  had  never  spoken  to  any  one  on  the  subject) 
nor  did  I  think  of  doing  so  for  the  present.  But,  whether  the 
thrasher  perceived  some  alteration  in  me,  as  I  went  about  my 
business,  or  how  it  was,  I  know  not,  he  talked  to  me  rather 
freely,  and  I  told  him  all  my  heart  After  this,  other  Christians 


16  MEMOIRS    OF 

conversed  with  me,  and  invited  me  to  their  prayer-meetings, 
and  I  engaged  with  them  in  prayer,  and  other  religious  exer- 
cises. It  was  in  this  accidental  way,  and  not  from  my  own  in- 
terition,  that  I  became  known  among  serious  people.  But,  hav- 
ing opened  my  mind  to  the  thrasher,  I  often  visited  him  in  the 
barn  ;  and,  because  I  hindered  him  in  his  woik,  I  made  it  up> 
by  thrashing  for  him,  sometimes  for  an  hour  or  two  together. 

"  From  the  month  of  November  1769,  I  had  entirely  broken 
off  all  my  ungodly  connexions  and  courses ;  yet,  being  a  boy 
under  sixteen,  I  found  at  times,  boyish  inclinations,  and  strong 
struggles  of  mind  respecting  youthful  follies.  At  Shrovetide,  in 
particular,  when  the  young  men  met  together,  and  practised 
various  athletic  exercises,  their  shouts  which  were  within  my 
hearing,  would  throw  me  into  agitations  which  rendered  me 
very  unhappy.  But  my  good  friend  the  thrasher,  warned  me 
tenderly  and  solemnly,  to  keep  out  of  the  way  of  temptation ; 
and  I  was  enabled,  though  with  some  difficulty,  to  follow  his 
counsel.  As  the  spring  of  1770  came  on,  the  young  people  of 
the  town,  as  usual,  would  meet  every  evening  for  youthful  ex- 
ercises. This  was  especially  the  case  at  the  wake  or  feast ; 
and,  though  I  always  kept  at  a  distance,  yet  I  found  such  times 
very  ensnaring  to  my  mind.  To  avoid  this,  I  began  a  practice, 
which  I  continued  with  great  peace  and  comfort  for  several  years. 
Whenever  a  feast  or  holiday,  occurred,  instead  of  sitting  at 
home  by  myself,  I  went  to  a  neighbouring  village,  to  visit  some 
Christian  friends,  and  returned  when  all  was  over.  By  this 
step,  I  was  delivered  from  those  mental  participations  in  folly, 
which  had  given  me  so  much  uneasiness.  Thus  the  seasons  of 
temptation  became  to  me  times  of  refreshing  from  the  presence 
of  the  Lord. 

"  In  March  1770,  I  witnessed  the  baptizing  of  two  young 
persons,  (having  never  seen  that  ordinance  administered  before,) 
and  was  considerably  affected  by  what  I  saw  and  heard.  The 
solemn  immersion  of  a  person,  on  a  profession  of  faith  in  Christ) 
carried  such  conviction  with  it,  that  I  wept  like  a  child,  on  the 
occasion.  The  words  of  the  Psalmist,  (Psa.  cxi  10.)  '  A  good 
understanding  have  all  they  that  do  his  commandments,'  left  a 
deep  and  abiding  impression  on  my  mind.  I  was  fully  per- 
suaded, that  this  was  the  primitive  way  of  baptizing,  and  that 
every  Christian  was  bound  to  attend  to  this  institution  of  our 
blessed  Lord.  About  a  month  after  this,  I  was  baptized  my- 


MR.  FULLER. 

ieif,  and  joined  the  church  at  Soham,*  being  then  turned  of  six- 
teen years  of  age. 

"  Within  a  day  or  two  after  I  had  been  baptized,  as  I  was 
riding  through  the  fields,  I  met  a  company  of  young  men. 
One  of  them,  especially  on  my  having  passed  them,  called 
after  me,  in  very  abusive  language,  and  cursed  me  for  having 
been  '  dipped/  My  heart  instantly  rose  in  a  way  of  resentment : 
but,  though  the  fire  burned,  I  held  my  peace ;  for,  before  I 
uttered  a  word,  I  was  checked  with  this  passage,  which  occur- 
red to  my  mind  : — ;  In  the  world  ye  shall  have  tribulation.'  I 
wept,  and  entreated  the  Lord  to  pardon  me  ;  feeling  quite  wil- 
ling to  bear  the  ridicule  of  the  wicked,  and  to  go  even  through 
great  tribulation,  if  at  last  I  might  but  enter  the  kingdom.  In 
this  tender  frame  of  mind  I  rode  some  miles,  thinking  of  the 
temptations  I  might  have  to  encounter.  Amongst  others,  I 
was  aware  of  the  danger  of  being  drawn  into  any  acquaintance 
with  the  other  sex,  which  might  prove  injurious  to  my  spiritual 
welfare.  While  poring  over  these  things,  and  fearful  of  falling 
into  the  snares  of  youth,  I  was  led  to  think  of  that  passage* 
4  In  ail  thy  ways  acknowledge  him,  and  he  shall  direct  thy 
paths.'  This  made  me  weep  for  joy  ;  and,  for  forty- five  years, 
I  have  scarcely  entered  on  any  serious  engagement  without 
thinking  of  these  words,  and  entreating  divine  direction.  I 
have  been  twice  married,  and  twice  settled  as  the  pastor  of  a 
Church,  which  were  some  of  the  leading  ways  in  which  I  had 
to  acknowledge  the  Lord ;  and  in  each,  when  over,  I  could 
say,  as  Psalm  cxix.  26. — *  JVly  ways  have  I  declared,  and  thou 
heardest  me.' 

«  In  reviewing  the  early  years  of  my  life,  I  see  much  ignorance, 
vanity  and  folly.  I  feel  the  force  of  Paul's  considering  the  terms 
*  carnal'  and  *  babes  in  Christ,'  as  synonymous.  But,  amidst 
all  my  youthful  follies  and  sins,  I  bless  God  that  I  was  always 
kept  from  any  unbecoming  freedom  with  the  other  sex,  or  at- 
tempting to  engage  the  affections  of  any  female,  except  with  a 
view  to  marriage. 

"  The  summer  of  1770  was  a  time  of  great  religious  pleasure. 
I  loved  my  pastor,  and  all  my  brethren  in  the  church  j  and  they 
expressed  great  affection  towards  me,  in  return.  I  esteemed  the 
righteous  as  the  excellent  of  the  earth,  in  whom  was  all  my  de- 

*  Mr  John  Eve  was  then  pastor  of  the  Baptist  church,  and  Mr.  Adam 
™as  pastor  of  the  Independent  church,  in  the  same"  place.  ft. 


18  MEMOIRS      OF 

light.  Those  who  knew  not  Christ,  seemed  to  me  almost 
another  species,  towards  whom  I  was  '  incapable  of  attachment. 
About  this  time,  I  formed  an  intimacy  with  a  Mr.  Joseph  Diver, 
a  wise  and  good  man,  who  had  been  baptized  with  me.  He  was 
about  forty  years  of  age,  and  had  lived  many  years  in  a  very 
recluse  way,  giving  himself  much  to  reading  and  reflection.  He 
had  a  great  delight  in  searching  after  truth,  which  rendered  his 
conversation  peculiarly  interesting  to  me  ;  nor  was  he  less  de- 
voted to  universal  practical  godliness.  I  account  this  connex- 
ion one  of  the  greatest  blessings  in  my  life.  Notwithstanding 
the  disparity  as  to  years,  we  loved  each  other  like  David  and 
Jonathan.  My  life,  this  summer,  resembled  the  description 
given  by  Dr.  Watts  :— 

'The  day  glides  swiftly  o'er  their  heads, 
Made  up  of  innocence  and  love  ; 
And,  soft  and  silent  as  the  shades, 
Their  nightly  minutes  gently  move.' 

But,  in  the  autumn  of  the  same  year,  an  unhappy  affair  occurred 
in  the  church,  which  occasioned  a  breach  between  our  pastor, 
Mr.  Eve,  and  the  people,  which  terminated  in  his  leaving  them  ; 
and,  what  rendered  it  the  more  afflicting  to  me,  I  was  much  con- 
cerned in  it.  The  case  was  this : — One  of  the  members  having 
been  guilty  of  drinking  to  excess,  I  was  one  of  the  first  who 
knew  of  it.  I  immediately  went  and  talked  to  him,  as  well  as  I 
could,  on  the  evil  of  his  conduct.  His  answer  was,  he  could 
not  keep  himself ;  and  that,  though  I  bore  so  hard  on  him,  I 
was  not  my  own  keeper.  At  this  I  felt  indignant,  considering* 
i  as  a  base  excuse.  I  therefore  told  him,  that  he  could  keep 
himself  from  such  sins  as  these,  and  that  his  way  of  talking  was 
merely  to  excuse  what  was  inexcusable.  I  knew  not  what  else 
to  say  at  that  time  ;  yet  the  idea  of  arrogating  to  be  my  own 
keeper  seemed  too  much.  He  however  was  offended,  and  told 
me  that  I  was  young,  and  did  not  know  the  deceitfulnes  oi  my 
own  heart.  Weli,  i  went  and  told  my  pastor,  who  highly  com- 
mended me,  and  said,  we  couid  ketp  ouiseivts  tiom  open  sins. 
\Ve  had  no  power  he  obst  rved,  to  do  things  spiritually  good  j 
but,  as  to  outward  acts,  we  had  power  botn  to  obey  the  will  ol  God, 
and  to  uisobi  y  it. 

u  The  business  soon  came  before  the  church,  and  the  offender 
was  unanimously  excluded  :  the  excuse  which  he  had  maue  too, 


MR.    FULLER.  19 

was  considered  by  all,  I  believe  as  an  aggravation  of  his  offence. 
But,  this  affair  being  disposed  of,  the  abstract  question,  of  the 
fioiver  of  sinful  men  to  do  the  will  of  God,  and  to  keefi  themselves 
from  sin,  was  taken  up  by  some  of  the  leading  members  of  the 
church,  amongst  whom  was  my  friend  Joseph  Diver.  They 
readily  excused  me,  as  being  a  babe  in  religion  ;  but  thought  the 
pastor  ought  to  have  known  better,  and  to  have  been  able  to 
answer  the  offender,  without  betraying  the  truth.  They  alleged, 
that  the  greatest  and  best  of  characters,  as  recorded  in  Scripture, 
never  arrogated  to  themselves  the  power  of  keeping  themselves 
from  evil,  but  constantly  prayed  for  keeping  grace ;  that,  were 
it  not  for  the  restraining  goodness  and  constraining  grace  of 
God,  earth  would  be  a  hell,  and  the  best  of  men  incarnate  devils : 
,in  short,  that,  though  we  are  altogether  blameworthy  for  our 
evil  propensities,  yet  if  they  were  restrained  or  conquered,  it 
was  altogether  to  be  ascribed  to  God,  and  not  to  us.  To  support 
these  ideas,  they  alleged  the  prayers  of  the  faithful  to  be  kept 
from  evil,  even  from  presumptuous  sins;  (Psa.  xix.  13) — the 
declaration  of  the  prophet,  that  the  way  of  man  is  not  in  himself: 
<  it  is  not  in  him  that  walketh  to  direct  his  steps  ;'  (Jer.  x.  23.^ — 
the  case  of  Hezekiah,  whom  the  Lord  left,  that  he*  might  try 
him,  * that  he  might  know  all  that  w?s  in  his  heart ;'  2  Chron. 
xxxii.  31.) — and  the  acknowledgments  of  such  men  as  John 
Bradford,  the  martyr,  who,  on  seeing  a  man  go  to  be  publicly 
executed,  said,  '  There  goes  John  Bradford  by  nature.' 

"  On  the  other  hand,  the  pastor  distinguished  between  inter- 
nal and  external  power.  He  allowed,  that  men  had  no  power 
of  themselves  to  perform  any  thing  spiritually  good  ;  but  con- 
tended, that  they  could  yield  external  obedience,  and  keep  them- 
selves from  open  acts  of  sin.  In  proof  of  this,  he  alleged  a 
great  number  of  Scripture-exhortations  ;  asking,  if  we  had  no 
power  to  comply  with  them,  why  they  were  given  us  ?  The 
opponents  did  not  deny  our  being  exhorted  to  do  good,  and  to 
avoid  evil,  nor  that  it  was  our  duty  to  do  both,  and  our  sin  to 
act  otherwise  ;  but  they  denied,  that  this  implied  our  being  suf- 
ficient of  ourselves  to  do  any  thing,  even  to  think  a  good 
thought. 

"  In  these  disputes,  I  continued,  for  some  time,  on  the  side  of 
my  pastor :  but,  after  a  few  months,  I  felt  difficulties  on  the 
the  subject,  which  I  could  not  answer,  and  which  rendered  me 


MEMOIRS    OF 

unhappy.  I  perceived,  that  some  kind  of  power  was  necessa- 
ry, to  n  nder  us  accountable  beirgs.  If  we  were  like  stocks 
or  stones,  or  literally  dead,  like  men  in  a  burying  ground,  we 
could,  with  no  more  propriety  than  they,  be  commanded  to  per- 
form any  duty  :  if  we  were  mere  machines,  there  could  be  no 
sin  chargeable  upon  us.  Yet,  on  the  other  hand,  the  Scriptures 
expressly  affirm,  that  <  the  way  of  man  is  not  in  himself,'  and 
represent  the  godly  as  crying  to  heaven  for  preservation  from 
evil,  ascribing  all  the  good  that  was  in  them  to  Him  who  work- 
eth  in  us  to  will  and  to  do  of  his  own  good  pleasure.  I  prayed 
much,  and  laboured  hard  to  solve  this  difficulty. 

"  My  worthy  friend,  Joseph  Diver,  who  sustained  a  high 
character  for  wisdom  and  integrity,  would  reason  thus  with  me  : 
<  We  ought  to  hate  evil,  and  love  the  Lord  :  but  it  is  the  grace 
of  God  alone,  that  can  make  us  what  we  ought  to  be/  He 
would  often  speak  of  the  equity  of  the  divine  requirements,  in 
the  words  of  David—4 1  esteem  all  thy  precepts  in  all  things  to 
be  right,  and  I  hate  every  false  way/  And  again, — '  Thou  hast 
commanded  us  that  we  should  keep  thy  precepts  diligently  :  O 
that  my  ways  were  directed  to  keep  thy  statutes  !'  *  Thus  it  is, 
(said  he,)  that  we  should  turn  every  precept  into  a  prayer,  in- 
stead of  inferring  from  it  a  sufficiency  in  ourselves  to  conform 
to  it.  All  our  conformity  to  the  divine  precepts  is  of  grace : 
it  will  never  do  to  argue  from  our  obligations  against  our  de- 
pendence, nor  from  our  dependence  on  grace  against  our  obli- 
gations to  duty.  If  it  were  not  for  the  restraining  goodness  and 
preserving  grace  of  God,  we  should  be  a  kind  of  devils,  and 
earth  would  resemble  hell.' 

"  In  October,  1771,  our  pastor,  Mr.  Eve,  left  us.  I  loved 
him,  and  he  loved  me,  and  took  it  hard,  that  I  had,  in  some 
respects,  changed  my  views.  I  learned  afterwards,  that  he  had 
entertained  thoughts  of  me,  as  being  formed  for  the  ministry, 
but  that  this  contention  damped  his  hopes  on  that  subject.  He 
settled,  when  he  left  Soham,  with  a  people  at  Wisbeach.  I 
never  look  back  upon  these  contentions,  but  with  strong  feel- 
ings.  They  were  to  me  the  wormwood  and  the  gall  of  my 
youth  :  my  soul  hath  them  still  in  remembrance,  and  is  hum- 
bled in  me.  But  though,  during  these  unpleasant  disputes, 
there  were  many  hard  thoughts  and  hard  words  on  almost  al 
hands,  yet  they  were,  ultimately,  the  means  of  leading  my  mind 
into  those  views  of  divine  truth  which  have  since  appeared  in 


MR.   PULLER.  21 

the  principal  part  of  my  writings.  They  excited  me  to  read 
and  think  and  pray,  with  more  earnestness  than  I  should  have 
done  without  them  :  and,  if  I  have  judged  or  written  to  any 
advantage  since,  it  was  in  consequence  of  what  I  then  learned 
by  bitter  experience,  and  in  the  midst  of  many  tears  and  temp- 
tations. God's  way  is  in  the  deep. 

«  About  this  time,  I  met  with  a  passage  in  Dr.  Gill,  (I  think 
it  was  in  his  Cause  of  God  and  Truth,}  in  which  he  distin- 
guished between  a  thing  being  «  in  the  power  of  our  hand,  and 
in  the  power  of  our  heart*  <  This,  (thought  I.)  is  the  ciew  to 
our  dispute.  Every  man  has  it  in  the  power  of  his  hand  to  do 
good,  and  abstain  from  evil ;  and  this  it  is  which  makes  us  ac- 
countable beings.  We  can  do,  or  forbear  to  do,  this  and  that' 
if  we  have  a  mind  ;  but  many  have  not  a  mind,  and  none  would 
have  such  a  mind,  but  for  the  restraining  goodness  or  constrain- 
ing grace  of  God.  We  have  it  in  the  power  of  our  hands  to 
do  good,  but  we  are  disposed  to  do  evil ;  and  so,  to  do  good  is 
not  naturally*  in  the  power  of  our  hearts. 

"  It  was  some  time  after  this,  that  I  became  acquainted  with 
Mr.  Robert  Hall,  of  Arnsby,  who,  in  conversation  on  the  sub- 
ject, recommended  Edwards  on  the  Will.  On  leading  this 
work,  and  some  other  pieces  on  phij8ical\  and  moral  impo- 

*  Common  sense  can  distinguish,  every  day,  between  the  inability  of  a 
hard-hearted  miser  freely  to  impart  of  his  a-bumfanee  to  the  poor,  and 
the  inability  of  a  compassionate  poor  man  to  contribute  much  to  the  re- 
lief of  others  ; — between  the  inability  of  Tarnar  to  resist  the  violence  of 
her  brother  Amnon,  and  the  inability  of  those  whose  "  eyes  are  full  of 
adultery"  to  cease  from  sin.  Butrwhen  we  apply  the  same  distinction  to 
every  sinner's  inability  to  love  Ciod,  and  give  full  credit  to  his  testimony 
concerning  his  Son,  many  pretend  they  cannot  understand  it  :  'If  no  one 
can  come  to  Christ,  except  the  Father  draw  him,'  they  are  ready  to  ask, 
*  what  propriety  can  there  be  in  complaining — Ye  are  not  willing  to  come 
to  me,  that  ye  might  have  life  ?'  And  if  once  ministers  admit  the  excuse 
to  be  valid  in  this  case,  loose  professors  will  soon  learn  to  apply  it  to  sen- 
sual indulgences  also. 

I  question  much,  if  any  thinking  man  can  steer  clear  of  False  Calvin- 
ism, on  the  one  hand,  and  Keal  Arminianism,  on  the  other,  without  en- 
tering into  the  distinction  between  natural  and  moral  inability,  as  it  is  com- 
monly termed  Dr.  Twisse,  the  Prolocutor  of  the  Assembly  of  Divines, 
(whose  most  learned  adversaries  have  confessed,  that  then1  was  nothing 
then  extant,  more  exact,  accurate,  and  full,  touching  the  Arminian  con- 
troversy, than  what  he  published)  admits  the  truth  aiid  importance  of  this 
distinction  :  '  Jmpotentia  faciendi  quod  Deo  gratutn  est  et  uccepium,  non 
est  impotentia  NATURJE,  sed  MORUM."  See  Howe's  Blessedness  oj  the 
Righteous.  III.  157.  R. 

f  The  term  physical,  is  not  understood  by  illiterate  people,  however  ; 
and  many  plain  Christians,  who  are  accustomed  to  speak  of  our  native 
depravity,  as  natural)  are  puzzled  by  the  ambiguity  of  that  terra  also-.  We 


ii2  MEMOIRS    OF 

tence,  I  saw  the  same  things  clearly  stated  in  other  words, 
which  I  had  learned  by  bitter  experience. 

"  Mr.  Eve  having  removed,  and  the  church  being  divided  into 
parties,  it  was  thought,  by  some,  that  we  should  be  dissolved  ; 
and  I  went,  several  Lord's  days,  to  hear  an  Independent  min- 
ister in  the  neighbourhood.  Those  members,  however,  who 
were  of  one  mind,  (and  who  formed  the  majority,)  met  together 
on  Lord's  days,  and,  having  no  minister,  and  being  situated  too 
far  from  other  Baptist  churches  to  get  supplies,  they  carried  on 
the  worship,  by  singing,  prayer,  and  reading  and  expounding 
the  Scriptures.  They  also  appointed  a  day  for  fasting  and 
prayer,  and  invited  all  the  members  to  unite  in  it.  I  went  to 
this  meeting,  and,  from  that  time,  continued  to  assemble  with 
them.  My  friend,  Joseph  Diver,  was,  at  that  time,  chosen  to 
be  a  deacon  ;  and,  having  some  talent  for  expounding  the 
Scriptures,  he  used,  at  the  request  of  the  church,  to  take  up  a 
part  of  every  Lord's  day  in  that  exercise. 

"  As  the  disputes  in  the  church  were  the  occasion  of  turning 
my  thoughts  to  most  of  those  subjects  on  which  I  have  since 
written,  so  were  they  the  occasion  of  my  engaging  in  the 
Christian  ministry.  But  this  I  shall  reserve  for  another  letter. 

«  I  am,  Sec.  A.  F." 

LETTER  IV. 

Feb.  1815. 

«  My  dear  Friend,— I  renew  the  subject  of  my  narrative  In 
November,  1771,  as  I  was  riding  out  on  business,  on  a  Satur- 
day morning,  to  a  neighbouring  village,  my  mind  fell  into  a 
train  of  interesting  and  affecting  thoughts,  from  that  passage  of 
Scripture,  *  Weeping  may  endure  for  a  night ;  but  joy  cometh 
in  the  morning.  I  never  had  felt  such  freedom  of  mind  in 
thinking  on  a  divine  subject  before ;  nor  do  I  recollect  ever 
having  had  a  thought  of  the  ministry :  but  I  then  felt  as  though 

admit,  with  Mr.  Howe,  «'  That  our  moral  incapacity  is  also,  in  some  sense, 
truly  natural  ;  that  is,  in  the  same  sense  wherein  we  are  said  to  be,  by 
nature,  the  children  of  wrath  Ephes.  ii.  3.  Human  nature,  therefore, 
must  be  considered,  an  created  by  God,  and  as  propagated  by  man.  It 
is  in  the  former  sense,  (as  God  is  the  author  of  it,)  that  it  is  taken,  in  this 
distinction  of  natural  and  moral  impotence."  See  Howe,  ut  supra.  Our 
depravity,  though  natural  in  the  latter  sense,  is  most  unnatural  in  the 
for  ner  We  say,  of  a  child  who  shows  no  affection  for  his  tender  parents, 
that  he  is  an  unnatural  wretch  :  how  much  more  justly  might  we  speak 
of  the  enmitv  of  a  creature  against  a  good  and  holy  God,  as  unnatural  ,- 
and  this,  notwithstanding  its  universality,  and  its  connexion  with  the  fall 
of  our  first  parents.  R. 


MR.    FULLER.  23 

T  could  preach  from  it ;  and,  indeed,  I  did  preach,  in  a  manner, 
as  I  rode  along.  I  thought  no  more  of  it,  however,  but  re- 
turned home  when  I  had  done  my  business.  In  the  afternoon 
of  the  same  day,  I  went  to  meet  my  mother,  who  had  be^en  to 
London,  to  see  her  mother,  who  was  then  very  unwell.  As  we 
rode  a  few  miles  together,  she  told  me,  she  had  been  thinking 
much  about  me,  while  in  town,  and  added — '  My  dear,  you  have 
often  expressed  your  wish  for. a  trade:  I  have  talked  with  your 
uncle  at  Kensington  about  it,  and  he  has  procured  a  good  place 
in  the  city,  where,  instead  of  paying  a  premium,  you  may,  if 
you  give  satisfaction,  in  a  little  time  receive  wages,  and  learn 
the  business.  I  thought,  (continued  she,  that,  as  we  had  now 
lost  the  gospel,  and  perhaps  shall  never  have  it  again,  you  could 
have  no  reason  for  wishing  to  continue  here.  In  London  you  can 
hear  the  gospel  in  its  purity.'  That  which  my  mother  sug- 
gested was  very  true  :  I  had  always  been  inclined  to  trade  ; 
but,  how  it  was  I  cannot  tell,  my  heart  revolted  at  the  proposal, 
at  this  time.  It  was  not  from  any  desire  or  thought  of  the  min- 
istry, nor  any  thing  else,  in  particular  :  unless  it  were  a  feeling 
towards  the  litt.e  scattered  society  of  which  I  was  a  member ;  a 
kind  of  lingering,  to  see  what  would  become  of  the  city.  I  said 
b  ut  little  to  my  mother,  but  seemed  to  wish  for  time  to  con- 
sider of  it.  This  was  Saturday  evening. 

"  The  next  morning,  as  1  was  walking,  by  myself,  to  meet- 
ing, expecting  to  hear  the  brethren  pray,  and  my  friend,  Jo- 
seph Diver,  expound  the  Scriptures,  I  was  met  by  one  of  the 
members,  whom  he  had  requested  to  see  me,  who  said, '  Broth- 
er Diver  has,  by  accident,  sprained  his  ancle,  and  cannot  be  at 
meeting  to-day  ;  and  he  wishes  me  to  say  to  you,  that  he  hopes 
the  Lord  will  be  with  you*  *  The  Lord  be  with  me  !  (thought 
I,)  what  does  Brother  Diver  mean  ?  He  cannot  suppose  that 
I  can  take  his  place  ;  seeing  I  have  never  attempted  any  thing 
of  the  kind,  nor  been  asked  to  do  so.'  It  then  occurred,  how. 
ever,  that  I  had  had  an  interesting  train  of  thought  the  day  be- 
fore, and  had  imagined,  at  the  time,  I  could  speak  it,  if  I  were 
called  to  it.  But,  though  I  had  repeatedly  engaged  in  prayer, 
publicly ;  yet  I  had  never  been  requested  to  attempt  any  thing 
further,  and,  therefore,  I  thought  no  more  of  it. 

"  We  walked  on  to  the  meeting,  and  took  our  places  ;  after 
singing,  one  of  the  brethren  went  to  prayer  ;  after  which,  the 
eldest  deacon  asked  me,  if  I  would  read  some  part  of  the  Scrip- 


24  MEMOIRS    OS' 

tares,  and,  if  I  found  liberty,  drop  any  remarks,  which  might 
occur,  as  I  went  on.  At  first  I  was  startled ;  but,  conscious 
of  what  had  passed  in  my  mind  the  day  before,  I  thought,  as 
Brother  Diver  was  absent,  it  might  be  my  duty  to  try  ;  and, 
therefore,  making  no  objections,  (which,  as  it  appeared  to  me, 
would  have  been  mere  affectation,)  I  rose,  and  spoke,  from  Psa. 
xxx.  5  for  about  half  an  hour,  with  considerable  freedom.  After 
this,  I  was  again  invited,  by  Brother  Diver,  to  speak,  and  I  did 
so  ;  but,  not  enjoying  that  liberty  which  I  did  the  first  time,  I 
was  discouraged,  and,  though  frequently  asked,  declined  all 
such  exercises,  for  more  than  a  year.  But,  early  in  1773,  I 
think  it  was,  Brother  Diver  was  absent  again,  through  an  af- 
fliction ;  and  I  was  invited,  once  more,  to  take  his  place.  Be- 
ing induced  to  renew  the  attempt,  I  spoke  from  those  words  of 
our  Lord,  *  The  Son  of  Man  came  to  seek  and  to  save  that 
which  was  lost.*  On  this  occasion,  I  not  only  felt  greater  free- 
dom than  I  had  ever  found  before ;  but  the  attention  of  the 
people  was  fixed,  and  several  young  persons  in  the  congrega- 
tion were  impressed  with  the  subject,  and  afterwards  joined  the 
church. 

"  From  this  time,  the  brethren  seemed  to  entertain  an  idea  of 
my  engaging  in  the  ministry,  nor  was  I  without  strious  thoughts 
of  it  myself.  Sometimes,  I  felt  a  desire  after  it ;  at  other  times, 
I  was  much  discouraged,  especially  through  a  consciousness 
of  my  want  of  spirituality  of  mind,  which  I  considered  as  a 
qualification  of  the  first  importance.  As  -to  other  qualifica- 
tions, it  certainly  would  have  been  of  great  use  to  me,  if,  for  a 
few  years,  I  had  had  the  instructions  of  some  father  in  the  min- 
istry;  and  I  have  often  since  regretted,  that,  from  1771  to  1774, 
I  lived  to  so  little  purpose.  But  none  of  my  connexions  had 
any  idea  of  the  kind  ;  and,  being  conscious  of  knowing  about 
as  much  as  those  around  me,  I  myself  thought  nothing  of  it. 
At  one  time,  when  seriously  reflecting  on  my  own  defects  and 
insufficiency,  I  was  greatly  relieved  and  encouraged,  by  that 
passage,  (Psa.  Ixxxiv.  11.)  4  The  Lord  will  give  grace  and 
glory.'  It  was  now  usual  for  my  friend  Diver  to  speak  on  one 
part  of  tl|e  Lord's  day,  and  for  me  to  be  engaged  on  the  other; 
and  these  exercises  appeared  to  be  blessed  to  several  young 
people,  who  afterwards  joined  the  church. 

"  In  January,  1774,  an  elderly  lady,  a  member  of  the  church, 
died,  and  left  a  request,  that,  if  the  church  did  not  think  it  dis- 


MR.    FULLER. 

orderly,  I  might  be  allowed  to  preach  a  funeral  sermon  on  the 
occasion.  As  the  members  were  nearly  of  one  mind  respect- 
ing me,  they  agreed  to  set  apart  the  26th  of  that  month,  which 
was  previous  to  the  funeral,  for  fasting  and  prayer  ;  and  they 
then  called  me  to  the  ministry.  From  that  time,  I  exercised 
from  the  pulpit. 

"  Being  now  devoted  to  the  ministry,  I  took  a  review  of  th'e 
doctrine  I  should  preach  ;  and  spent  pretty  much  of  my  time 
in  reading,  and  in  making  up  my  mind  as  to  various  things  rel- 
ative to  the  gospel.  Impressed  with  the  importance  of  the 
connexions  I  should  probably  form,  in  a  few  years,  both  as  a 
man  and  as  a  minister,  to  my  future  happiness  and  usefulness, 
I  earnestly  besought  the  Lord  to  be  my  guide  ;  and  those  words, 
in  Prov.  iii.  6.  were  very  sweet  to  me — '  In  all  thy  ways  acknowl- 
edge him,  and  he  shall  direct  thy  paths.'  In  most  of  the 
important  turns  of  my  life,  I  have  thought  of  that  passage  with 
renewed  tenderness,  as  one  would  think  of  a  friendly  hint  given 
him  in  early  life,  and  make  it  a  rule  of  conduct. 

"  Settling  in  a  town  where  I  had  lived  from  the  age  of  six 
years,  I  could  not  expect  to  be  much  respected  by  the  inhabi- 
tants. In  this,  however,  I  had  no  occasion  to  complain.  I  had? 
indeed,  more  respect  shown  me  than  I  looked  for ;  partly  ow- 
ing to  the  prevalence  of  an  opinion,  when  I  was  at  school,  of 
my  being  more  learned  than  my  master  ;  an  opinion  which,  I 
am  certain,  was  far  from  being  true  :  but  it  indicated  a  partiality 
in  my  favour,  which,  perhaps,  was  of  some  use  in  leading 
people  to  hear  the  word. 

"  With  respect  to  the  system  of  doctrine  which  I  had  been 
used  to  hear  from  my  youth,  it  was  in  the  High  Calvinistic, 
or,  rather,  Hyper  Calvinistic  strain  ;*  admitting  nothing  spir- 
itually good  to  be  the  duty  of  the  unregenerate,  and  nothing 
to  be  addressed  to  them,  in  a  way  of  exhortation,  excepting 
what  related  to  external  obedience.  Outward  services  might 
be  required,  such  as  an  attendance  on  the  means  of  grace  :  and 
abstinence  from  gross  evils  might  be  enforced  :  but  nothing 
was  said  to  them,  Irom  the  pulpit,  in  the  way  of  warning  them 
to  flee  from  the  wrath  to  come,  or  inviting  them  to  apply  to 
Christ  for  salvation.  And,  though  our  late  disputes  had  fur- 

*  That  is,  going  as  far  above*  or  beyond  Calvinism,  as  Arminiaoism  falls 
kelow  it.  See  my  Sermon  at  Bourton,  at  the  'Jrtlination  of  Mr  T.  Coles 
p.  15.  and  that  at  Mr.  Morgan's  Ordination,  at  Birmingham,  p.  £2.  K? 

4 


26  MEMOIRS  or 

nished  me  with  some  few  principles  inconsistent  with  these 
notions,  yet  I  did  not  perceive  their  bearings  at  first,  and  durst 
not,  for  some  years,  address  an  invitation  to  the  unconverted  to 
come  to  Jesus.  I  began,  however,  to  doubt  whether  I  had  got 
the  truth  respecting  this  subject.  This  view  of  things  did  not 
seem  to  comport  with  the  ideas  which  I  had  imbibed,  concern- 
ing the  power  of  man  to  do  the  will  of  God.  I  perceived,  that 
the  will  of  God  was  not  confined  to  mere  outward  actions,  but 
extended  to  the  inmost  thoughts  and  intents  of  the  heart.  The 
distinction  of  duties,  therefore,  into  internal  and  external,  and 
making  the  latter  only  concern  the  unregenerate,  wore  a  sus- 
picious appearance.  But,  as  I  perceived  this  reasoning  would 
afftct  the  whole  tenor  of  my  preaching,  I  moved  on  with  slow 
and  trembling  steps  ;  and,  having  to  feel  my  way  out  of  a  laby- 
rinth, I  was  a  long  time  ere  I  felt  satisfied. 

"  My  mind  was  also  frequently  diverted  to  other  subjects  of 
inquiry.  In  the  first  year  of  my  ministry,  books  were  put  into 
my  hands,  which  led  me  to  consider  certain  questions  in  divin- 
ity, which  it  might  easily  be  thought  were  improper  for  me,  at 
the  age  of  twenty.  One  was  on  the  fire-existence  of  Christ's 
human  soul,  before  he  was  born  of  the  Virgin.  Another  was 
on  the  Somhip  of  Christ  ;  or,  whether  the  character  of  the  only 
begotten  Son  of  God  would  ever  have  belonged  to  him,  if  he 
had  not  been  the  son  of  Mary  ?  These  things  would  not  have 
occupied  my  mind,  had  they  not  been  suggested  by  others.  Yet 
I  have  reason  to  thank  God,  that  they  were  the  occasion  of  fix- 
ing my  judgment ;  and  I  have  since  perceived,  that  every  thing 
pertaining  to  the  person  of  Christ  is  of  more  than  ordinary  im- 
portance. 

"  Concerning  the  first,  I  was  led  to  see,  that  the  notion  of 
Christ's  human  soul  existing  before  the  creation  of  the  world 
was  unfounded,  and  tended  to  undermine  his  proper  divinity. 
It  is  true,  this  notion  was  held  by  Dr.  Watts  ;  and  1  examined 
his  reasoning,  but  without  obtaining  satisfaction.*  In  conse- 
quence of  the  examination  I  made  at  that  time,  I  was  enabled, 
afterwards,  to  repel  an  attack  from  a  company  of  ministers, 
who  were  warm  for  that  opinion.  When  they  put  it  to  me,  I 
offered  to  prove  that  it  led  to  Atheism,  or  lelinquish  the  argu- 
ment. They  accepted  my  offer.  1  began,  by  saying,  *  You  sup- 

*  See  Jonathan  Edwards's  Miscellaneous  Observations  on  Important 
Theological  bubjetts,  pp.  469 — 473.  K 


MR.    FULLER.  27 

pose  the  human  soul  of  Christ  to  be  a  party  in  the  everlasting 
councils  of  God?'  'Yes  :  God  could  not  take  counsel  with  him- 
self, for  a  council  implies  more  than  one  ;  but  God  is  one  *  Yet 
you  do  not  suppose  the  soul  of  Christ  to  have  always  existed  ?'  No: 
it  was  created,  and  therefore  could  not  be  eternal.'  4  Then  you 
must  suppose,  that,  till  the  great  God  had  a  creature  to  take 
counsel  with,  he  had  no  plan  ;  that,  prior  to  this  act  of  creation, 
he  was  without  counsel,  without  plan,  without  design  !  But  a 
being  without  plan,  purpose,  or  design,  is  not  God  t — Thus  you 
are  landed  on  Atheism.  The  truth  is,  God  never  was  without 
his  plan,  purpose,  or  design.  By  applying,  too,  those  passages 
of  Scripture  which  express  the  pre-existence  of  Christ  (and 
thereby  prove  his  divinity)  to  the  pre-existence  of  his  human 
soul,  you  undermine  his  divinity,  and  favour  the  Arian  hy- 
pothesis.' 

"  Respecting  the  other  question,  I  took  considerable  pains 
in  se  irching  the  New  Testament.  The  question  was,  Whether 
Chr.st  was  ever  called  the  Son  of  God,  in  respect  of  his  prein- 
carnate  person,  as  the  second  person  in  the  Godhead  ?  I  found 
such  proot  that  he  was,  as  quite  satisfied  me,  that  he  was  the 
Son  of  God  antecedently  to  his  being  born  of  a  woman  ;  and 
that,  in  calling  God, his  own  Father,  he  made  himself  equal 
with  God.  Had  I  not  been  initiated  into  these  principles,  at  an 
early  period,  I  should  not  have  been  able  to  write  the  treatise 
against  Socinianism,  which  I  have  no  cause  to  regret  having 
written. 

"  Besides  these  I  was  much  perplexed,  about  the  same  time, 
with  the  writings  of  Mr.  John  Johnson,  of  Liverpool,  and  for 
some  time  favoured  his  sentiments.  My  pastor  had,  indeed, 
been  one  of  his  admirers.  There  were  two  things,  in  particu- 
lar, for  which  he  pleaded  :  that  God  did  not  and  could  not 
decree  to  permit  evil,  without  being  the  author  of  it — and  that 
he  would  have  glorified  his  elect,  though  sin  had  never  inter, 
vened.  The  way  in  which  I  obtained  satisfaction  as  to  the  first 
was,  I  perceived  that  God  had  permitted  evil ;  and  that  which 
he  had  done,  it  could  not  be  wrong\to  decree  or  purpose  to 
do,  unless  it  were  wrong  to  purpose  to  do  what  is  right.  And 
as  to  the  second,  I  thought  it  was  idle  to  speculate  on  wha^ 
God  could  or  would  have  done,  concerning  his  elect,  if  sin 
had  never  intervened,  when  all  his  revealed  counsels  went  on 
the  supposition  of  its  existence :  even  the  incarnation  of  his 


*o  MEMOIRS   OF 

Son  was  to  <  destroy  the  works  of  the  devil.'  Bunyan  would 
have  called  these  questions,  <  Nuts,  which  spoil  the  children's 
teeth.'  I  have  considered  an  attachment  to  them  as  resembling 
the  chewing  of  certain  narcotics,  of  which,  though  they  are 
generally  disagreeable  at  first,  yet,  by  a  little  use  of  them,  some 
persons  become  so  fond,  as  to  prefer  them  to  their  bread.  They 
were  things,  however,  after  which  1  did  not  seek  ;  but  they  fell 
in  my  way,  and  I  am  thankful  now  that  they  did. 

«  The  next  year,  1775,  I  visited  London  ;  where  I  met  with 
a  pamphlet,  the  contents  of  which  revived  all  my  doubts  on 
what  was  called  the  High  Calvinistic  system,  or  the  system  of 
Dr.  Gill,  Mr.  Brine,  and  others,  as  to  the  duty  of  sinners,  and 
of  ministers  in  addressing  them.  It  was  written  by  Dr.  Abra- 
ham Taylor  of  London.  It  was  not  so  much  his  reasoning  how- 
ever, as  the  passages  of  Scripture  which  he  brought  forward, 
which  made  so  deep  an  impression  on  my  mind,  that  I  could  not 
forget  them,  nor  help  feeling,  that  my  preaching  was  antiscrip- 
tural  and  defective  in  many  respects. 

«  That  summer  I  was  ordained  pastor  of  the  church  at  So- 
ham,  and  became  acquainted  with  Mr.  Robert  Hall,  of  Arnsby, 
who  came  seventy  miles  to  my  ordination,  and  continued 
my  father  and  friend  till  his  death.  In  1776,  I  became  ac- 
quainted with  Mr.  Sutcliff,  who  had  lately  come  to  Olney ;  and 
soon  after,  with  Mr.  John  Ryland,  jun.  then  of  Northampton- 
In  them  I  found  familiar  and  faithful  brethren  ;  and  who,  partly 
by  reflection,  and  partly  by  reading  the  writings  of  Edwards, 
Bellamy,  Brainerd,  &c.  had  begun  to  doubt  of  the  system  of 
False  Calvinism,  to  which  they  had  been  inclined  when  they 
first  entered  on  the  ministry,  or  rather  to  be  decided  against  it. 
But,  as  I  lived  sixty  or  seventy  miles  from  them,  I  seldom  saw 
them,  and  did  not  correspond  upon  the  subject.  I  therefore 
pursued  my  inquiries  by  myself,  and  wrote  out  the  substance  of 
what  I  afterwards  published  under  the  title  of  The  Gospel  Wor- 
thy of  all  Acceptation  ;  or,  the  Obligations  of  Men  cordially  to 
believe  whatever  God  makes  known. 

"  My  change  of  views,  on  these  subjects,  never  abated  my 
zeal  for  the  doctrine  of  salvation  by  grace  ;  but,  in  some 
respects,  increased  it.  I  never  had  any  predilection  for 
Arminianism,  which  appeared,  to  me,  to  ascribe  the  difference 
between  one  sinner  and  another,  not  to  the  grace  of  God,  but 
to  the  good  improvement  made  of  grace  given  us  in  cpirmon 


MR.   FULLER.  29 

with  others.  Yet  I  saw  those  whom  I  thought  to  he  godly 
men,  both  among  Armenians,  and  High,  or  as  I  now  accounted 
them  Hyper  Calvinists.  I  perceived,  that  men's  characters 
are  not  always  formed  by  their  avowed  principles  ;  that  we.  may 
hold  a  sound  faith,  without  its  having  that  hold  of  us  as  to 
form  our  spirit  and  conduct ;  that  we  may  profess  an  errone- 
ous creed,  and  yet  our  spirit  and  conduct  may  be  formed  nearly 
irrespective  of  it ;  in  short,  that  there  is  a  difference  between 
principles  and  ofimions  ;  the  one  are  the  actual  moving  causes, 
which  lie  at  the  root  of  action  ;  the  other  often  float  in  the 
mind,  without  being  reduced  to  practice.  I  am,  Yours,  &c. 

«  A.  F." 

Thus  far  I  have  interwoven  two  different  narratives  together, 
which  were  written  some  years  apart,  to  two  of  Mr.  Fuller's 
friends :  but,  finding  several  particulars  more  fully  detailed  in 
the  latter  part  of  one  set  of  letters  than  in  the  former,  I  have 
added  them  as  a  fifth  letter,  omitting  some  sentences,  which 
were  quite  similar  to  the  statement  already  given. 

LETTER  V. 
"My  dear  Friend,  Nov.  13,  1809. 

"  In  the  spring  of  1775, 1  accepted  the  invitation  of  the  church 
at  Soham,  and  was  ordained  their  pastor.  The  pastors  of  the 
other  churches,  who  attended  the  ordination,  took  that  opportu- 
nity to  inquire  into  the  controversy  which,  had  divided  us  from 
our  former  minister,  and  requested  me  to  state  the  difference. 
Mr.  Hall,  of  Arnsby,  who  was  one  of  them,  expressed  his  sat- 
isfaction in  the  statement,  but  recommended  Edwards  on  the 
Will  to  my  careful  perusal,  as  the  most  able  performance  on 
the  power  of  man  to  do  the  will  of  God.  Not  being  much  ac- 
quainted with  books,  at  that  time,  I  confounded  the  work  of  Dr. 
John  Edwards,  of  Cambridge,  an  Episcopalian  Calvinist,  entitled 
Veritas  Redux,  with  that  of  Jonathan  Edwards,  of  New-England. 
I  read  the  former,  and  thought  it  a  good  book  ;  but  it  did  not 
seem  exactly  to  answer  Mr.  Hall's  recommendation.  Nor  was 
it  till  the  year  1777,  that  I  discovered  my  mistake.  Meantime, 
however,  I  was  greatly  exercised  upon  the  subject,  and  upon  the 
work  of  the  Christian  ministry. 

"  The  principal  writings  with  which  I  was  first  acquainted 
were  those  of  Bunyan,  Gill,  and  Brine.  I  had  read  pretty 
much  of  Dr.  Gill's  Body  of  Divinity,  and  from  many  parts 


MEMOIRS    OF 

of  it  had  received  considerable  instruction.  I  perceived,  how- 
ever,  that  the  system  of  Bunyan  was  not  the  same  with  his  ; 
for  that,  while  he  maintained  the  doctrines  of  election  and 
predestination,  he,  nevertheless,  held  with  the  free  offer  of 
salvation  to  sinners,  without  distinction.  These  were  things 
which  I  then  could  not  reconcile,  and,  therefore  supposed, 
that  Bunyan,  though  a  great  and  good  man,  was  not  so  clear 
in  his  views  of  the  doctrines  of  the  gospel,  as  the  writers  who 
succeeded  him.  I  found,  indeed,  the  same  things  in  all  the  old 
writers,  of  the  sixteenth  and  seventeenth  centuries,  that  came 
in  my  way.  They  all  dealt  as  Bunyan  did,  in  free  invitations 
to  sinners  to  come  to  Christ  and  be  saved  ;  the  consistency  of 
which  with  personal  election  I  could  not  understand.  It  is  true, 
I  perceived  the  Scriptures  abounded  with  exhortations  and 
invitations  to  sinners  ;  but  I  supposed  there  must  be  two  kinds 
of  holiness— one  of  which  was  possessed  by  man  in  innocence, 
and  was  binding  on  all  his  posterity — the  other  derived  from 
Christ,  and  binding  only  on  his  people.  I  had  not  yet  learned, 
that  the  same  things  which  are  required  by  the  precepts  of 
the  law  are  bestowed  by  the  grace  of  the  gospel.  Those  exhor- 
tations to  repentance  and  faith,  therefore,  which  are  addressed, 
in  the  New  Testament,  to  the  unconverted,  I  supposed  to  refer 
only  to  such  external  repentance  and  faith  as  were  within  their 
power,  and  might  be  complied  with  without  the  grace  of  God. 
The  effect  of  these  views  was,  that  I  had  very  little  to  say  to  the 
unconverted  ;  at  least,  nothing  in  a  way  of  exhortation  to  things 
spiritually  good,  or  certainly  connected  with  salvation. 

«  But  in  the  autumn  of  1775,  being  in  London,  I  met  with  a 
pamphlet,  by  Dr.  Abraham  Taylor,  concerning  what  was  called 
The  Modern  Question.  I  had  never  seen  any  thing  relative  to 
this  controversy  before,  although  the  subject,  as  I  have  stated, 
had  occupied  my  thoughts.  I  was  but  little  impressed  by  his 
reasonings,  till  he  came  to  the  addresses  of  John  the  Baptist, 
Christ, 'and  the  Apostles  ;  which  he  proved  to  be  addressed  to 
the  ungodly,  and  to  mean  spiritual  repentance  and  faith,  inas- 
much as  they  were  connected  with  the  remission  of  sins.  This 
set  me  fast.  I  read  and  examined  the  Scripture  passages;  and 
the  more  I  read  and  thought,  the  more  1  doubted  the  justice  of 
my  former  views. 

«  About  the  same  time,  I  met  with  a  sermon,  by  Mr.  John 
Martin,  from  Rom.  x.  3.  on  the  Causes  and  Consequences  of 


MR.   FULLER.  31 

Hot  submitting  to  the  Righteousness  of  God.  The  drift  of  this 
discourse,  as  nearly  as  I  can  remember,  was,  to  show  that  sub- 
mission to  the  righteousness  of  God  was  the  same  thing,  for 
substance,  as  believing  in  Christ  for  righteousness  :  and  that 
non-submission  to  it  was  owing  to  wilful  ignorance,  pride,  prej- 
udice, and  unbelief.  I  was  equally  unable  to  answer  this 
reasoning  as  that  of  Dr.  Taylor,  and  therefore  began  more  and 
more  to  suspect  that  my  views  had  been  antiscriptural.  I  was 
very  unhappy.  I  read,  thoughtj  and  prayed.  Sometimes,  I 
conversed  on  these  subjects  with  my  friend  Joseph  Diver,  and 
some  others.  He  was  nearly  as  much  at  a  loss  as  myself.  I 
made  a  point,  however,  of  not  introducing  the  question  in  the 
pulpit,  till  my  judgment  was  fixed.  I  am, 

"  Yours,  affectionately,     A.  F." 

The  account  of  other  controversies,  which  in  the  one  set  of 
letters  comes  last,  was  inserted  in  a  different  order  in  the  other, 
which,  being  more  full  in  some  particulars,  I  will  now  annex 
with  as  little  repetition  as  possible. 

"  Soon  after  I  entered  on  the  ministry,  I  had  several  books 
put  into  my  hands,  with  a  request  that  I  would  read  them.  One 
was  written  by  Mr,  Samuel  Stockell,  in  favour  of  (he  fire-existence 
of  Christ's  human  soul ;  another,  by  a  Mr.  Allen,  on  the  same 
subject,  and  on  the  Sonshifi  of  Christ.  Several  pamphlets  also, 
written  by  Mr.  Johnson  of  Liverpool,  fell  in  my  way,  containing 
sentiments  different  from  those  of  the  generality  of  writers  to 
whom  I  had  been  accustomed  to  look  up  with  respect.  Though 
I  was  not,  at  that  time,  competent  to  form  a  judgment  on  such 
subjects,  yet,  they  being,  in  a  manner,  forced  upon  me,  I  was 
obliged  to  do  as  well  as  I  could. 

"  As  to  the  fire- existence  of  Christ's  human  sow/,  it  seemed  to 
me  in  itself  a  strange  conceit,  and  such  as  I  should  never  have 
thought  of  in  reading  the  Scriptures.  The  texts  on  which  it  was 
founded  seemed  to  be  forced  into  the  service,  especially  the  8th 
of  Proverbs,  and  Psalm  cxxxix.  15,  16.  and  though  some  who 
professed  to  believe  in  the  divinity  of  Christ  were  partial  to  the 
notion,  yet  I  suspected  it  was  invented  to  undermine  that  im- 
portant doctrine.  I  found  one  of  the  principal  arguments  al- 
ledged  for  it  was,  that  as  God  was  one,  without  a  being  of  a  dif- 
ferent nature  from  himself  there  could  have  been  no  council  of 
peace  relative  to  the  salvation  of  men.  But  this,  I  perceived, 
went  to  deny  the  eternity  of  the  divine  counsels ;  which  would 


32  MEMOIRS    OF 

be  nearly  equal  to  denying  a  God :  for  a  being  without  counsel, 
purpose,  or  design,  were  no  God. 

"  Concerning  the  sonshifi  of  -Christ,  I  had  more  hesitation. 
I  conversed  with  my  friend  Diver  upon  it,  who  was  favourable  to 
Mr.  Allen's  idea  ;  namely,  that  Christ  is  called  the  Son  God, 
not  as  a  divine  person,  but  assuming  human  nature,  and  being 
both  God  and  man.  He  however  very  liberally,  advised  me  to 
read  the  New  Testament  with  an  eye  to  the  question,  and  to 
observe,  as  I  went  along,  whether,  in  any  instance  where  Christ 
is  represented  as  the  Son  of  God,  it  respected  him  as  a  divine 
person  antecedent  to  his  incarnation  ;  and  whether  the  Scrip- 
ture name  for  Christ's  preincarnate  person  was  not  the  Word, 
rather  than  the  Son  of  God  ? 

"  In  reading  and  thinking  on  the  subject,  I  met  with  the 
following  passages,  which  appeared  to  me  to  admit  of  no  other 
fair  interpretation  than  that  which  I  was  invited  to  reject: — 
John  v.  18.  Gal.  iv.  4.  Heb.  i.  8.  v.  8,  9.  and  1  John  iii.  8. 
By  looking  into  my  volume  of  Essays*  p.  169,  you  will  perceive 
these  to  be  the  principal  grounds  of  my  present  sentiments  on 
this  subject. 

"  The  peculiar  opinions  of  Mr.  Johnson  laid  faster  hold  of 
me.  There  was  something  imposing  in  his  manner,  by  which 
a  young  and  inexperienced  reader  is  apt  to  be  carried  away. 
His  denial  of  God's  having  decreed  to  permit  sin,  and  his  notion 
of  the  purposes  of  grace  being  executed  upon  the  elect,  e-ven 
though  sin  had  never  intervened,  much  entangled  me.  It  seemed 
as  if  he  were  concerned  to  vindicate  his  Creator  from  being  the 
author  of  sin  ,•  and  in  this  view,  I  could  not  but  approve :  but, 
on  the  other  hand,  his  scheme  appeared  to  have  no  founndation 
in  the  Scriptures ;  as  all  the  grace  given  us  in  Christ  Jesus 
supposed  the  intervention  of  sin.  And  respecting  the  decree 
to  permit  sin,  I  was  one  day  conversing  with  a  friend  upon  it, 
who  observed, 4  It  is  a  fact,  is  it  not,  that  God  has  permitted  sin ; 
and  can  it  be  a  reproach  to  his  character,  that  he  should  decree 
to  do  what  he  has  done  ?' 

«  This  remark  carried  conviction  to  my  mind-  I  saw,  that, 
if  there  were  any  thing  inconsistent  with  the  divine  perfections 
in  the  affair,  it  must  be  in  permitting  evil,  and  not  in  the  decree 
to  permit  it.  If  the  one  were  right,  the  other  could  not  be 
wrong,  unless  it  were  wrong  to  determine  to  d  what  is  right. 
But  to  say  tha.t  it  is  wrong  for  God  to  permit  evil,  is  either  to 


$R.    FULLER.  33 

arraign  the  divine  conduct,  or  to  maintain  that  evil  exists  with- 
out being  permitted.  I  perceived  too  that  Mr.  Johnson  availed 
himself  of  the  ambiguity  of  the  word  flermif,  and  because,  on 
some  occasions  it  signifies,  to  give  leave,  would  have  it  thought 
that  God  could  not  be  said  to  permit  it.  After  this,  I  thought 
but  little  more  of  it,  but  rested  in  this,  The  Judge  of  all  the  earth 
will  do  right. 

"  In  reviewing  some  of  these  questions,  which  occupied  my 
attention  at  so  early  a  period,  I  have  seen  reason  to  bless  God, 
for  preserving  me  at  a  time  when  my  judgment  was  so  imma- 
ture. When  I  have  seen  the  zeal  which  has  been  expended  in, 
maintaining  some  such  peculiarities,  I  have  thought  it  a  pity. 
They  have  appeared  to  me  as  a  sort  of  spiritual  narcotics,  for 
which  when  a  man  once  gets  a  taste,  he  will  prefer  them  to  the 
most  wholesome  food.  It  was  in  recollection  of  these  things 
that  I  lately  wrote,  in  an  Essay  on  Truth,  as  follows : — *  A  man 
who  chews  opium  or  tobacco,  may  prefer  them  to  the  most 
wholesome  food,  and  may  derive  from  them  pleasure,  and  even 
vigour  for  a  time  ;  but  his  pale  countenance  and  debilitated  con- 
stitution will  soon  bear  witness  to  the  folly  of  spending  his 
money  for  that  which  is  not  bread.' 

«  A.  F." 


CHAP.  III. 

HIS    SETTLEMENT,    A3    PASTOR    OF    THE    CHURCH  AT    SO- 

HAM THE    DIFF1CUITIE8    HE    THEHE    ENCOUNTERED 

HIS  REMOVAL  THENCE  TO  KETTERING THE  EX- 
ERCISES OF  HIS  MIND  ON  THAT  OCCASION AN  AC- 
COUNT OF  HIS  SETTLEMENT  AT  KETTEBING HIS 

STATEMENT  OF  THE  CIRCUMSTANCES  WHICH  IN- 
DUCED HIS  REMOVAL,  AND  HIS  CONFESSION  OF 
FAITH. 

IN  the  preceding  Chapter,  I  chose  to  c*ive  Mr.  Fuller's  own 
account  of  his  early  and  superficial  reiigious  impressions  ,  his 


J4  MEMOIRS    OF 

subsequent  conversion ;  his  joining  the  church  ;  the  pleasure 
he  enjoyed,  at  first,  after  his  public  profession  of  religion  ; 
the  dissensions  \vhich  arose  in  the  church,  and  issued  in  the 
removal  of  their  pastor ;  his  own  entrance  on  the  ministry ; 
and  the  doctrinal  difficulties  with  which  his  mind  was  embar- 
rassed at  that  early  period. 

When  Mr.  Eve  had  removed  to  Wisbeach,  in  the  Isle  of  Ely, 
in  October,  1771,  the  church-book  notices,  that,  after  much 
confusion  among  themselves,  they  nevertheless  assembled  with 
each  other,  and  spent  the  time  in  singing  and  prayer  ;  "  some 
brethren  opening  a  word  of  Scripture,  chiefly  Brother  Di- 
ver." 

Again,  in  the  year  1772,  an  entry  is  made  in  the  book,  in 
Mr.  Fuller's  writing,  who  was  then  eighteen  years  old  :-— 
«  Time,  on  Lord's  days,  was  now  carried  on  in  opening  the 
Word,  chiefly  by  two  of  the  brethren,  Brother  Diver  and  Brother 
A.  Fuller  ;  and  Oh  I  to  our  unexpected,  unlocked  for  comfort* 
the  Lord  was  pleased  to  make  use  of  such  weak  means  for  the 
conversion  of  some  souls.  This  was  like  life  from  the  dead  to 
us,  and  no  small  encouragement  to  the  weak  means  made  use 
of.  We  were  now  almost  like  people  that  had  found  a  new 
world.  New  life,  love,  joy,  peace,  and  harmony,  spread  almost 
throughout  every  soul ;  admiring  the  goodness  of  the  Lord  to- 
wards us,  in  our  confused,  forlorn  condition  ;  often,  with  thank- 
fulness of  heart,  repeating  the  language  of  the  church — 4  It  is 
of  the  Lord's  mercies  that  we  are  not  consumed,  because  his 
compassions  fail  not.'  Evening  meetings,  which  before  had 
been  dropped,  were  now  revived." 

In  1773,  it  is  mentioned,  that  two  brethren  were  employed 
in  opening  the  Word  on  the  Lord's  day,  chiefly  Brother  Andrew 
Fuller. 

Oct.  1773,  a  day  was  set  apart  for  public  fasting  and  prayer 
to  the  Lord.  The  work  of  opening  the  Word  on  Lord's  days 
was  wholly  committed  to  Brother  Fuller,  though  not  yet  pub- 
licly sent  into  the  ministry. 

Jan.  26,  1774,  the  church  met  for  solemn  fasting  and  prayer, 
and  called  Brother  Fuller  publicly  to  preach  the  gospel. 

Feb.  22,  he  baptized  two  persons.  Conversion- work  now 
went  forward. 


MB.    FULLER.  35 

July  17,  the  church  requested  Brother  Fuller  to  take  the 
pastoral  care  of  them,  which  was  repeated  four  times  ;  when, 
on  Feb.  19,  1775,  the  invitation  of  the  church  was  accepted  by 
Brother  Fuller. 

May  3,  was  appointed  for  the  Ordination  ;  when  the  Rev- 
Robert  Hall,  of  Arnsby,  gave  the  charge,  from  Acts  xx.  28. 
and  the  Rev.  John  Emery,  of  Little  Staughton,  in  Bedfordshire, 
addressed  the  church,  from  Gal.  v.  13.  «  By  love  serve  one 
another.' 

June  8,  1775,  the  church,  by  unanimous  consent,  applied  for 
reception  into  the  Northamptonshire  Association,  and  were 
readily  accepted, 

Mr.  R.  Fuller,  deacon  of  the  church  at  Isleham,  who  sent 
these  extracts  from  the  records  of  the  church  at  Soham,  men- 
tioned a  brief  anecdote  of  what  once  occurred  at  a  conference 
meeting  there.  A  friend,  of  slender  abilities,  being  asked  to 
pray,  knelt  down,  and  Mr.  Fuller  and  the  other  friend^  with 
him  ;  when  he  found  himself  so  embarrassed,  that,  whispering 
to  Mr.  Fuller,  he  said,  "  I  do  not  know  how  to  go  on."  Mr. 
Fuller  replied,  in  a  whisper,  "  Tell  the  Lord  so."  The  man, 
taking  Mr.  Fuller's  advice,  began  to  confess  his  not  knowing 
how  to  pray  as  he  ought,  begging  to  be  taught  to  pray  ;  and 
so  proceeded,  without  any  one  having  heard  what  passed 
between  them. 

Mr.  Fuller  continued  pastor  of  the  church  at  Soham  for 
more  than  seven  years,  and,  considering  the  size  of  the  con- 
gregation, had  as  much  success  as  could  well  be  expected,  but 
attended  with  many  painful  trials,  as  the  case  often  is,  when  God 
is  preparing  a  man  for  future  usefulness.  In  the  midst  of  them, 
however,  he  found  more  leisure  for  the  investigation  of  theo- 
logical difficulties  than  he  could  easily  have  found  in  a  less  re- 
tired situation.  Perhaps,  he  had  fewer  means  of  assistance  from 
men  and  books  than  he  might  have  had  elsewhere ;  but  he 
was  obliged  to  think,  and  pray,  and  study  the  Scriptures,  and 
thus  make  his  ground  good,  as  he  went  on. 

With  respect  to  his  removal  from  Soham,  I  have  been  at  a 
loss  what  to  select,  and  what  to  omit,  out  of  the  plentiful  ma- 
terials which  have  been  submitted  to  my  inspection. 

On  reflecting  upon  what  I  knew,  in  early  life,  of  our  minis- 
ters and  churches,  I  have  been  ready  to  suspect,  that  some  of 
our  best  ministers  carried  their  scruples  to  an  extreme,  and 


36  MEMOIRS    OF 

were  more  averse  to  leaving  a  people  with  whom  they  had 
once  been  settled,  than  the  general  good  of  the  church  required' 
Yet  I  have  been  ready  to  fear,  that  our  young  ministers  arc 
in  danger  of  verging  too  far  the  contrary  way,  and  of  deserting 
stations  of  importance,  as  soon  as  they  meet  with  any  unpleas- 
ant occurrence.  I  have  had  occasion,  within  these  few  years, 
to  remind  some,  that  the  British  army  in  Spain  would  soon  have 
been  driven  out  of  the  Peninsula,  if  every  officer  had  deserted 
his  post,  as  soon  as  the  French  were  so  uncivil  as  to  fire  at  him- 
Not  that  I  would  determine  too  positively  for  others ;  but  I 
would  guard  them  against  a  cowardly  abandoning  of  impor- 
tant but  difficult  stations,  or  aspiring  after  posts  of  honour  and 
ease,  when  God  is  blessing  them  with  usefulness  in  the  midst 
of  many  privations  and  hardships.  He  that  findeth  his  life  shall 
lose  it :  but  he  that  loseth  his  life  for  my  sake  and  the  gospel's 
shall  find  it-^-is  a  maxim  of  the  highest  authority,  and  of  very 
extensive  application, 

But,  as  to  Mr.  Fuller's  removal,  every  serious  Christian  must 
admire  the  conscientious  manner  in  which  he  acted,  the  self- 
denying  scrupulosity  which  kept  him  so  long  in  suspense,  the 
modest  manner  in  which  he  asked  counsel  of  his  senior  breth- 
ren, and  the  importunity  with  which  he  implored  divine  direc- 
tion. Nevertheless,  if  all  the  correspondence  which  passed  on 
this  occasion  were  published,  it  would,  perhaps,  be  tedious 
to  many  readers,  and  to  some,  his  scruples  would  appear  exces- 
sive, or  even  ridiculous.  Men  who  fear  not  God  would  risk  the 
welfare  of  a  nation  with  fewer  searchings  of  heart  than  it  cost 
liim  to  determine  whether  he  should  leave  a  little  Dissenting 
church,  scarcely  containing  forty  members  besides  himself  and  • 
Jiis  wife. 

Among  these  people  he  met  with  various  trials  and  discour- 
agements ;  partly,  through  the  unkindness  of  a  few,  who  were 
not  satisfied  with  his  ministry  ;  and  partly,  through  the  small- 
ness  of  his  income,  which  was  far  from  being  adequate  to  the 
support  of  his  family  :  and  though  he  endeavoured  to  find  a 
remedy  to  the  latter  inconvenience,  first,  by  opening  a  small 
shop,  and  afterwards,  by  keeping  a  school  ;  yet  neither  attempt 
succeeded  so  far  as  to  prevent  his  annually  sinking  the  little 
property  he  possessed.  The  people  were  few  in  number,  and 
poor  in  circumstances ;  so  that  they  could  raise  him  but  thir- 
teen pounds  a  year?  besides  five  from  the  Baptist  Fund  in  Lon- 


MR.    FULLER.  3? 

don.  He  had  also  three  pounds  for  preaching  four  sermons  in 
a  year  at  a  neighbouring  village.  In  less  than  four  years  after 
his  marriage,  he  had  four  children,  though  they  mostly  died 
young.  A  tinge  of  False  Calvinism  infected  some  of  the  peo- 
ple, who  were  inclined  to  find  fault  with  his  ministry,  as  it  be- 
came  more  searching  and  practical,  and  as  he  freely  enforced 
the  indefinite  calls  of  the  gospel.  This  spirit  first  discovered 
itself  in  December,  1799.  The  unwillingness  also  of  his  peo- 
ple to  exert  themselves  to  get  a  more  convenient  place  of  wor- 
ship, when  their  rent  was  raised,  and  that,  when  there  appeared 
an  increasing  disposition  in  the  inhabitants  of  the  town  to  attend 
his  ministry,  was  an  additional  cause  of  his  dissatisfaction. 

Mr.  Robert  Hall,  of  Arnsby,  (who  was  venerated,  by  all  who 
knew  him,  for  his  eminent  piety  and  wisdom)  estimating  the 
talents  of  his  young  friend,  and  having  some  intimation  of  his 
difficulties,  first  encouraged  the  church  at  Kettering  to  inquire 
if  Mr.  Fuller  were  not  moveable.  No  man  could  be  more  cau- 
tious than  Mr  Hall,  not  to  excite  a  minister  to  leave  his  people 
without  justifiable  grounds  for  so  doing  :  and  I  believe,  the 
church  at  Kettering,  though  they  had  been  long  and  sorely  tried) 
through  their  minister's  being  laid  aside  by  a  tedious  attack  of 
affliction,  were  yet  conscientiously  scrupulous  in  all  their  con- 
duct towards  the  church  at  Soham.  They  had  waited  long,  in 
hope  of  their  former  pastor's  recovery  ;  and  when  it  was  de- 
cided that  he  must  totally  give  up  the  ministry,  having  an  ex- 
pectation, that  the  increase  of  Mr.  Fuller's  family,  if  nothing  else 
should  co  operate,  would  render  his  removal  unavoidable,  they 
waited  still  longer,  for  him  to  see  clearly  the  path  of  duty. 

Eight  and  twenty  letters  lie  before  me,  the  first  of  which  is 
dated,  Nov.  1799,  and  the  last  (which  is  the  dismission  of  Mr. 
and  Mrs.  Fuller  from  the  church  at  Soham  to  the  church  at  Ket- 
tering) is  dated  Aug.  10,  1783  ;  all  of  which  evince  the  cautious 
and  conscientious  manner  in  which  both  Mr.  Fuller  and  his 
friends  at  Kettering  acted  on  this  occasion. 

I  have  also  in  my  possession  a  diary  of  Mr.  Fuller's,  from 
June  3,  1780,  to  Jan.  10,  1782,  in  which  are  many  aliusions  to 
the  exercises  of  his  mind  on  this  subject.  I  suspect,  some 
things  written  in  short  hand  may  relate  to  the  same  business  ; 
but,  as  he  certainly  intended  these  to  be  concealed,  I  have  not 
wished  to  have  them  decyphered.  The  first  that  is  legible  is 
dated, 


133  MEMOIRS    OF 

"  June  30,  1780 — My  heart  has  been  much  affected  to-day, 
in  thinking  on  my  situation.  I  prayed  to  the  Lord  earnestly, 
that,  if"  there  were  any  thing  in  this  world  which  might  direct 
me,  he  would  lead  my  mind  to  it.  Here  I  must  wait.  The 
Lord  may  have  designed  to  lead  me  in  a  way  that  I  have  not 
known. 

"  Oct.  13. — Much  concerned  with  the  state  of  things 
among  us,  and  with  my  own  state.  Went  to  the  Lord  in 
prayer  :  found  a  solemnity  of  spirit.  The  Lord  direct  me  to 
the  land  of  uprightness  I 

"  Oct.  27, 1780 — My  heart  often  aches  in  thinking  of  my  sit- 
uation. Loi  d,  what  is  duty  ?  O  that  my  ways  were  directed  to 
keep  thy  statutes  ! 

"  Nov.  9 — Found  my  heart  disposed  to  ask  counsel  of  God, 
and  to  leave  him  to  guide  me  in  his  own  way. 

«  10. — O  that  I  might  be  guided  some  way  !  My  heart  is 
much  perplexed ;  but  found  liberty  in  prayer. 

"  28. — For  some  days  past,  have  been  tenderly  concerned 
about  my  situation.  O  that  the  Lord  would  bestow  upon  me 
his  counsels  and  his  care  !  1  am  afraid  of  pride  being  in  my 
motives,  both  ways.  O  that  God  would  hear  and  help  me  ! 
The  parable  of  the  talents  has  been  something  to  me.  I  am 
frequently  told,  that  my  talents  are  buried  here — but  I  do  not 
know.  O  that  I  may  not  have  to  go  upon  this  principle  !  O 
that  some  plainer  path  might  appear,  if  I  must  go  ! 

"  Dec.  22. — I  am  far  from  happy.  I  cannot  feel  settled 
where  I  am  ;  yet  I  cannot  remove.  Lord,  let  not  duty  hang 
thus  in  doubt! 

u  Jan.  15,  1781.— Much  disheartened,  in  seeing  the  coolness 
of  some  in  providing  for  the  future  welfare  of  the  church." 

In  February,  his  mind  was  much  exercised  on  the  subject : 
he  afterwards  writes  thus  : 

"  March  5. — To-night  it  seems  as  if  it  would  break  my  heart 
to  remove.  The  seal  and  fruits  of  my  ministry  are  dear  to  me. 
Yet  how  it  can  be  otherwise  I  cannot  see. 

«  6. — A  continnal  heaviness  lies  upon  me.  O  that  I  could 
say,  one  way  or  other,  upon  solid  grounds,  { I  have  the  mind  of 
Christ  1' 

"  April  1 . — It  seems  as  if  the  church  and  I  should  break 
each  other's  hearts  !  To-night,  I  have  been  but  truly  charged 


MR.    FULLER.  39 

9 

with « an  irregular  mind.*  How  heartily  could  I  embrace  death, 
if  it  pleased  God  to  send  it  1  How  far  are  peace  and  happiness 
from  me ! 

<*  2. — Affected  in  prayer.  O  for  an  unerring  guide  !  O  that 
I  knew  the  Lord's  will  1  Verily,  if  I  know  mine  own  heart,  I 
•would  do  it.  I  had  rather,  I  think,  much  rather,  walk  all  my 
days  in  the  most  miserable  condition,  than  offend  the  Lord,  by 
trying  to  get  out  of  it. 

«  10. — The  thoughts  of  my  situation  now  return,  and  over- 
power me.  To-night,  I  was  exceedingly  affected  in  prayer, 
earnestly  longing  that  I  might  know  the  will  of  God.  I  have 
entered,  to-night,  into  a  solemn  vow,  which  I  desire  it  may 
please  God  to  accept  at  my  worthless  hands.  With  all  the 
powers  of  my  soul,  with  the  utmost  effusion  of  feelings,  I  have 
vowed  to  this  effect,  before  the  Lord  : — c  O  Lord  !  if  thou  wilt 
give  me  so  much  light,  as  plainly  to  see  what  is  my  duty  in  this 
case  ;  then,  if  I  do  not  obey  the  dictates  of  conscience,  let  my 
tongue  for  ever  cleave  to  the  roof  of  my  mouth  !  let  my  minis- 
try be  at  an  end  !  let  me  be  made  an  example  of  thy  displeasure 
against  falsehood  !'  The  case  of  those  who  asked  counsel  of 
Jeremiah,  (chap,  xlii.)  seemed  to  excite  in  me  a  jealousy  of  my 
own  heart ;  but,  so  far  as  I  know  any  thing  of  myself,  I  am  re. 
solved  to  stay  or  go,  as  it  should  please  God,  did  I  but  know 
his  will. 

«  18. — Earnest  outgoings  to  God,  in  prayer.  To-morrow 
seems  a  day  of  great  importance.  Then  I  must  give  my  rea- 
sons to  the  church,  for  what  I  have  intimated  concerning  my 
removal.  The  Lord  guide  and  bless  them  and  me  ! 

«  19. — I  went  to  the  meeting,  to-day,  with  very  little  premedi. 
tation,  thinking,  an  upright  heart  would  be  prepared.  I  as- 
signed two  reasons  for  my  removal — the  complaints  some  have 
made  of  non-edification,  and  my  wasting  my  property  every 
year.  Neither  of  these  objections  being  answered,  the  church 
despairs.  All  is  in  confusion  !  Ah  !  what  can  I  do  ?  what 
can  they  do  ?  My  heart  would  say,  Stay  j  would  freely  go  and 
gather  them  together,  and  pour  oil  into  their  wounds.  My 

judgment  only  forbids  me No  ....  No  1  Surely 

I  cannot  go  I  My  heart  is  overwhelmed  !  Lead  me  to  the  Rock 
that  is  higher  than  1  I  I  have  been  pouring  out  my  heart  to 
the  Lord,  since  I  came  from  the  meeting.  Think  I  could 
rather  choose  death  than  departure  !  My  heart  is  as  if  it  would 


40  MEMOIRS    Ofr 

dissolve  !     It  is  like  wax— it  is  melted  in  the  midst  of  my 
bowels  1 
"April  2  J,  1781.— 

'  Vast  are  the  trials  tied  to  time, 
And  all  my  thoughts  confusion  still !' 

My  spirit  is  overwhelmed  within  me :  my  heart  "within  me  is 
desolate.  Now  my  mind  seems  to  lean  as  if  I  must  stay,  even 
though  it  terminate  in  my  temporal  ruin.  O  fluctuating  soul ! 
"  May  1 — Have  been  praying  to  the  Lord,  that  I  may  keep 
to  that  direction  which  was  so  much  to  me  ten  or  eleven  years 
ago — «  In  all  thy  ways  acknowledge  him,  and  he  shall  direct  thy 
paths.*  This  passage  has  been,  several  times,  like  a  present 
help  in  time  of  need.  O  that  it  may  be  such  now  ! 

"  2. — Affliction  returns.  How  heavy  !  My  heart  and  flesh 
faileth  !  O  that  God  may  be  the  strength  of  my  heart,  and  my 
portion  for  ever  ! 

"  3. — A  painful  melancholy  lies  heavy  upon  me  all  this  day. 
Have  been  trying  to  pray,  but  can  get  no  manner  of  ease. 
6  Withhold  not  thou  thy  tender  love,'  has  been  my  plea. 

"  4. — All  my  powers  of  body  and  mind  are  absorbed  in  my 
extreme  affliction.  I  thought,  towards  night,  that,  as  these 
limbs  had  been  ingloriously  employed  in  the  service  of  sin,  how 
reasonable,  though  pardoning  mercy  be  extended,  that  they 
should  be  blasted,  confined  by  a  series  of  affliction,  and,  at  last, 
higloriously  reduced  to  dust.  I  can  think  of  little  else  now, 
but  that  I  must  leave  Soham  :  yet  it  seems  an  affair  of  so 
much  importance,  I  dread  it. 

«  5. — I  am  as  if  I  thought  death  would  soon  take  me  out  of 
the  world :  but  God  knows  what  is  his  will  concerning  me. 
«  6.— Confined,  by  bodily  affliction,  from  public  worship,  this 
Lord's  day.  To-night,  my  heart  melts  with  compassion  towards 
the  church.  I  think,  after  all,  if  I  go  from  them,  it  is  as  if  it 
must  be  in  a  coffin  ! 

«  7 — Tender  thoughts  towards  the  church.  Several  verses 
of  the  122d  Psalm,  towards  the  latter  part,  exceedingly  move 
me.  The  welfare  of  this  part  of  Zion  lies  exceedingly  near 
jiie.  Earnest,  very  earnest  longings  for  it,  and  for  direction  to 
myself,  in  prayer.  The  second  chapter  of  Proverbs  has  been 
somewhat  to  me,  to-night,  on  the  subject  of  divine  direction' 
The  first  nine  verses  seem  to  point  out  the  way  of  obtaining  it  ; 
and  from  thence  to  the  end  of  the  chapter,  its  manner  of 
operation  and  effects  are  described.  1  have  been  trying  to  find 


MR.    FULLER.  41 

out  wisdom  and  the  fear  of  the  Lord,  as  there  directed,    O  that 
I  may  search  for  it,  as  for  hid  treasure  ! 

«  10. — I  seem  now,  in  general,  to  think  of  nothing  but  de* 
parting  from  Soham.  There  are,  however,  many  devices  in 
man's  heart ;  but  the  counsel  of  the  Lord,  that  shall  stand.  It 
seems  to  me  now,  as  far  as  I  can  see,  right  that  I  should  go ; 
but  perhaps,  in  a  few  days  I  may  think  otherwise.  O  that  I 
might  arrive  at  a  greater  degree  of  satisfaction  !  Earnest 
longings  for  this,  to-night,  in  prayer. 

«  14. — Oh  my  heart!  It  is  as  if  it  must  break  !  Thought, 
this  morning,  4  There  is  a  way  that  seemeth  right  unto  a  man, 
but  the  end  thereof  is  death.'  This  makes  me  jealous,  lest  spe. 
cious  appearances  should  beguile  me.  My  load  seems  heavier 
than  I  can  bear  !  O  Lord  I  for  thine  own  sake,  suffer  me  not 
to  act  contrary  to  thy  will  I  O  for  an  unerring  guide  ! 

"  20. — To-night,  I  stopped  the  church,  and  asked  them,  if 
they  could  prove  it  wrong  for  me  to  leave  them.  I  assured 
them,  if  they  could,  I  would  abide  with  them,  whatever  was  the 
consequence. 

"  22. — One  thing  I  desire  of  the  Lord :  whatever  be  my  por- 
tion here — if  it  be  to  wear  out  my  years  in  pining  sadness — let 
me  so  walk,  as  to  enjoy  his  approbation.  Into  thy  hands  I 
commit  my  spirit." 

On  the  24th  of  May,  Mr.  Fuller  visited  Kettering,  previous 
to  the  Association,  which  was  held  there,  on  the  5th,  6th,  and 
7th  of  June.  He  then  conversed  with  Mr.  Reeby  Wallis,  (an 
excellent  deacon  of  the  church  there)  and  admitted,  that  it  was 
his  real  opinion,  he  must  remove.  He  mentions  also  conversing 
with  Mr.  Hall,  and  says — "  I  found  much  tenderness  in  telling 
him  the  whole  affair,  as  it  is.*'  At  the  Association,  he  had  much 
pleasure,  in  hearing  Mr.  (now  Dr.)  Rippon,  in  prayer,  and  in 
hearing  Mr.  Ryland>  sen.  preach,  from  Rev.  iii.  2.  which  he  ap- 
plied to  experience,  doctrine,  and  practice.  After  the  public 
services,  he  consulted  nine  of  the  ministers  on  his  case : — 
Messrs.  Booth — Evans — Gill — Guy — Hall—  Hopper — Ryland, 
sen. — Ryland,  jun. — and  Sutcliff;  who  all  advised  his  removal. 
On  his  return,  he  again  found  his  mind  in  a  strait  betwixt  the 
two  courses  proposed.  "  Oh  my  soul !  What  shall  I  do  ?  O 
for  an  unerring  guide  ! 

"July  12,  1781. — Have  been  trying,  to-day,  to  examine  my 
heart,  by  putting  to  myself  such  questions  as  these  :— *  Would 
6 


42  MEMOIRS    OF 

it  be  most  agreeable  to  my  conscience  to  continue  after  all,  with 
my  people  ? — Is  it  likely,  in  so  doing,  I  should  please  God,  and 
contribute  to  the  welfare  of  his  cause  on  the  whole  ?'  To  these 
questions,  I  could  not  see  how  I  could  in  any  degree  answer 
in  the  affirmative.  But  God  knows  my  heart.  I  have  been 
trying  to  pray  ;  and  sure  it  ib  my  sincere  desire,  it  I  am  wrong, 
to  be  set  right.  I  am  now  going  to  the  church-meeting.  O  ior 
wisdom,  and  a  quick  understanding  in  the  fear  of  the  Lord  ! 

"  The  meeting-house  has  been  a.  Bochim  to-day — a  piace  of 
weeping !  I  have  told  the  church  to  expect  my  removal,  in  a 
quarter  of  a  year.  Oh  my  soul  1  I  seem  unable  to  endure  such 
attacks  on  my  feelings ! 

"  14.— Waked  this  morning  with  great  heaviness  of  heart 
Have  been  trying  to  pray,  '  O  send  out  thy  light  and  thy  truth  .* 
let  them  lead  me,'  &c.  My  soul  seems  at  a  distance  from  God, 
O  Lord,  if  I  have  done  aught  amiss,  teach  me  but  the  right 
way,  and  I  am  willing  to  follow  it.  Have  been  reading  Hosea 
xii.  8,  9.  I  think  I  can  answer  from  my  heart,  4  Well  Lord,  if 
it  be  so,  show  me  it,  and  I  am  willing  to  retract,  willing  to  be 
any  thing  thou  wouldest  have  me  to  be.' 

"  15. — An  affecting  forenoon,  in  preaching  from  Ezek.  x.  13. 
An  equally  affecting  afternoon  from  Psa  cxxv.  1.  It  seemed 
needful  to  me,  to  contrast  immoveableness  with  moveableness. 
Exceedingly  affected  to-night  in  a  conversation  with  the  churchy 
on  my  going  away.  My  heart,  how  it  melts !  A  good  spirit 
seemed  to  take  place." 

At  length,  it  was  proposed  to  refer  the  question  to  the  arbi- 
tration of  three  ministers,  who  should  consider  the  case,  as  stated 
in  writing,  both  by  Mr.  Fuller  and  the  church.  On  this  step 
being  taken,  he  writes  as  follows: 

«  Sept.  21. — Earnestly  affected  in  prayer,  that  if  it  would  be 
most  pleasing  to  God  for  me  to  stay,  1  might  do  so  after  all.  I 
should  not  be  sorry  if  the  arbitrators  should  judge  this  to  be  my 
duty.  My  soul  trembles  for  the  ark  of  God.  What  will  betide 
the  interest  of  Christ  here  ?  '  Unto  thee  lift  I  up  mine  eyes,  O 
thou  that  dwellest  in  the  heavens.' 

«  22. — My  heart  much  moved  this  morning.  Psa.  cxxiii.  1,  2. 
was  somewhat  tome.  Overcome  in  prayer,  that  God  would 
shine  upon  my  path.  O  God,  thou  knowest  that  I  am  willing  to 
be  any  thing.  It  is  my  unfeigned  desire,  that  not  my  will  but 
thine  be  done.  Let  not  my  ease,  but  thine  honour  be  con- 


MR.    FULLER.  43 

suited.  Yes,  O  thou  Searcher  of  hearts !  I  humbly,  earnestly, 
and  unfeignedly  desire  of  thee,  that  if  my  departure  would 
issue  in  the  failure  of  thine  interest  here,  never  let  me  depart. 
Let  me  rather  go  mourning  all  my  days,  in  the  bitterness  of 
my  soul." 

In  a  letter  to  the  church  at  Kettering,  not  dated,  but  marked, 
by  Mr.  Beeby  Wain's,  as  received  Oct.  21,  1781,  Mr.  Fuller 
relates  the  issue  of  this  arbitration.  One  minister  seemed  to 
justify  his  removal,  yet  added,  "  But  if  he  can  be  provided  for  at 
Soham,  without  oppressing  the  poor,  I  wish  he  would  continue 
at  least  a  little  longer,  and  see  what  the  Lord  will  do  for  and 
by  him."  Another  condemned  it ;  and  a  third  declared  he  could 
not  tell  what  was  duty  in  this  case. 

"  We  then  agreed,  (says  Mr.  Fuller,)  that  I  and  an  officer  of 
the  church  should  take  the  letters  from  all  parties,  on  the 
subject,  and  lay  them  before  Mr.  Robinson,  of  Cambridge  ;  and 
that  which  he  should  judge  duty  in  the  case,  we  would  follow, 
unless  it  should  appear,  to  both  parties,  that  he  was  wrong.  We 
waited  on  Mr.  R.  yesterday,  and,  after  an  investigation  of  the 
affair,  for  three  or  four  hours,  he  gave  it  as  his  opinion, — <  That 
Mr.  Fuller  ought  to  continue  pastor  of  the  said  church,  for  one 
whole  year  from  this  day,  and  after  that  time,  if  it  should  appear 
that  he  can  live  on  his  income  ;  and  that  the  people  ougl  t  to 
abide  by  their  proposal  to  raise  Mr.  Fuller's  income  to  £26.  a 
year,  clear  of  all  deductions,  as  they  had  proposed* 

«  On  the  3d  of  October,  I  received  a  note  from  Mr.  Hall, 
(who  was  in  London,)wherein  he  wishes  me  not  to  enter  into 
an  engagement  to  be  governed  by  the  arbitration ;  and  suggests, 
that,  if  my  continuance  at  Soham  should  be  thus  determined,  it 
would  be  a  reflection  either  on  the  wisdom  or  integrity  of  the 
nine  ministers  whom  I  consulted  at  Kettering,  or  else  on  my- 
self, for  having  related  a  partial  tale,  tending  to  lead  them  into 
a  deception.  As  to  the  former,  I  have  only  to  say,  however  it 
may  look,  I  have  certainly  no  inferior  opinion  of  the  wisdom  op 
integrity  of  the  nine  ministers  to  that  of  the  arbitrators.  I  im- 
pute it  wholly  to  their  hearing  the  matter  but  from  one  party ; 
and  as  to  the  partiality  of  my  tale,  I  refer  you  to  what  I  said  in 
my  last  to  you. 

«c  I  dare  not,  indeed  I  dare  not  go  contrary  to  the  above  de- 
cision. I  think  it  would  be  mocking  God  and  the  arbitrators 
to,  be  previously  resolved  what  way  to  take.  Would  it  not  be 


44  MEMOIRS      OF 

like  Ahab's  asking  counsel  of  Micaiah  ?  or  the  Jews  of  Jere- 
m'ah?  Chap.  xlii.  I  therefore  must  not  comply  \Tith  your  invi. 
tation.  Mr  Robinson  referred  me  to  what  it  is  that  approves  a 
minister  of  God,  in  2  Cor.  vi.  4 — 8.  and  such  things  have  no 
small  impression  on  my  heart. 

"  I  am  at  this  time,  a  compound  of  feelings.  I  feel,  deal- 
brethren,  I  painfully  feel  for  you.  I  am  distressed  that  a  church 
whose  troubles  were  many  before,  should  have  them  increased 
through  me.  I  feel  myself  unhappy  lest  my  worthy  brethren 
and  fathers  in  the  ministry  should  think  themselves  slighted,  of 
•Which  there  is  nothing  that  I  am  less  conscious  :  and  should 
they,  on  this  account  slight  me,  it  will  very  much  grieve  me  ; 
but  I  cannot  help  it.  I  hope  they  will  consider  what  must  nec- 
essarily be  my  motives  in  this  matter,  and  excuse  me.  I  am 
not  without  feelings,  on  my  own  account ;  but  these  are  not  so 
great  as  those  for  you.  Blessed  be  God,  I  feel  peace  within, 
let  things  issue  as  they  will.  I  enjoy  a  consciousness  of  having 
done  every  thing  in  this  matter,  as  in  the  sight  of  Christ ;  at 
least,  to  the  best  of  my  knowledge.  A  passage  in  Mr.  Hall's 
letter  to  me,  of  April  28,  1780,  has,  both  yesterday  and  to-day, 
been  sweet  to  me  :•— *•  How  awfully  mysterious  are  divine  prov- 
idences !  The  Lord  help  us  to  approve  and  adore,  with  cordial 
affections,  the  dispensations  of  God  !  We  shall,  one  day,  see  we 
could  not  have  been  so  well  in  any  other  condition  as  in  that  in 
which  the  Lord  has  placed  us,  nor  without  the  various  afflictions 
we  meet  with  by  the  way.  I  have  lately  thought,  that  religion 
is  not  designed  to  please  us  now,  but  to  fircjit  us,  to  teach  and 
dispose  us  to  please  God.  And  those  who  please  him,  he  will 
please  them  hereafter.' 

"  I  am  not  without  some  fears,  that,  as  the  time  of  trial  is 
limited  to  one  ycar^  you  should  some  of  you  be  hankering  still 
in  your  minds  after  me ;  which  if  you  should,  it  would  make 
me  exceedingly  unhappy.  I  do  not  mean  to  spend  what  I  have, 
but  if  possible,  to  live  according  to  what  I  shall  have  coming  in, 
and  to  bow  my  shoulder  to  the  yoke  with  contentment.  It  is 
therefore,  likely  I  shall  stay  longer,  perhaps  all  my  life.  I 
therefore  humbly  and  most  earnestly  beseech  you,  by  all  that 
belongs  to  your  own  welfare  and  my  future  peace,  to  drop  all 
thoughts  whatever  of  my  removal,  and  to  look  up  and  look  out 
for  some  other  person  to  be  your  pastor.  The  great  Head  of 
the  church  direct  your  choice  ! 


MR.  FULLER.  45 

«  Great  happiness  is  what  I  do  not  look  for  now  ;  but  it  would 
serve  to  increase  the  little  I  have  remaining,  to  receive  one 
more  letter  from  the  church  at  Kettering ;  or  if  that  is  too  much 
trouble,  from  Mr.  Wallis,  by  the  church's  consent,  expressing 
these  two  things — That  you  entertain  no  hard  thoughts  of  me, 
as  if  I  had  in  any  respect  used  you  ill — and  that  you  give  up 
all  thoughts  of  my  removal,  and  intend  to  look  out  elsewhere- 
Give  my  love  to  any  of  the  ministers  whose  judgment  I  con- 
sulted, and  tell  them  what  I  say.  Accept  the  same  to  your- 
selves. That  Jehovah-jireh  may  see  and  provide  for  you,  is, 
my  clear  Brethren,  the  prayer  of  Yours,  very  affectionately, 

«  A.  F." 

This  was  indeed  a  grievous  disappointment  to  the  church  at 
Kettering,  whose  expectations  of  enjoying  the  blessing  of  Mr. 
Fuller's  ministry  had  been  raised  to  a  high  degree,  and  were 
now  so  unexpectedly  disappointed.  But  though  his  best  friends 
in  the  ministry  were  ready  to  disapprove  of  the  mode  adopted 
for  settling  the  business,  and  especially  of  referring  at  last  to 
Mr.  Robinson  ;  (who  might  have  been  suspected  of  a  sinister 
design,  had  he  given  different  advice,  as  some  of  Mr.  Fuller's 
ablest  friends  lay  just  between  Soham  and  Cambridge,  and 
might  prefer  attending  his  ministry,  if  their  present  pastor 
should  be  removed,)  yet  they  had  no  doubt  of  Mr.  Fuller's  being 
actuated  by  self-denying  principles,  in  continuing  in  his  present 
station.  The  church  at  Kettering  also  acquitted  him  of  all 
blame,  and  engaged  Mr.  Hall  to  apply  to  Bristol  for  a  young 
minister ;  but  were  assured  by  Dr.  Evans,  that  he  knew  of  no 
suitable  person.  Their  exemplary  deacon,  Mr.  Wallis,  laid  it 
still  more  deeply  to  heart.  A  constitutional  tendency  to  de- 
jection led  him  to  suspect  that  Mr.  Fuller  had  perceived  some 
defect  in  him,  that  prevented  his  acceptance  of  their  call ;  or 
that  God  himself  suffered  the  church  to  meet  with  this  disap- 
pointment, on  his  account.  Mr.  Fuller,  who  had  the  highest  es- 
teem for  his  character,  soon  removed  the  former  suspicion, 
and  endeavoured  by  letter  to  counterwork  the  latter.  Their 
former  minister  -visited  his  friends  at  Kettering,  towards  the 
close  of  1781  ;  but,  though  he  spoke  for  about  half  an  hour 
twice  on  the  Lord's  day,  there  seemed  to  be  no  prospect  of  his 
being  able  to  resume  his  work,  nor  could  they  hear  of  any  one 
likely  to  suit  them. 


46 


MEMOIRS  <XF 


In  a  letter  to  Mr.  Wallis,  dated  March  13,  1782,  Mr.  Fuller 
observes — «  I  am  g-lad  to  hear  Mr.  M.  has  visited  you,  but 
sorry  that  his  affliction  disables  him  from  resuming  the  work 
of  the  ministry..  It  would  have  rejoiced  my  heart  both  on  his 
and  your  account,  to  have  heard  of  his  being  happily  restored 
to  you  again  :  but  providence  is  a  great  deep.  Our  work  seems  to 
be,  not  to  scan,  but  to  wonder  and  submit.  These  afflictions  with 
many  other  things  we  meet  with  here,  are  suited  to  a  state  of 
trial,  to  discover  to  us  our  depravity,  and  bring  our  graces,  our 
love,  patience,  and  submission  to  the  proof.  Read  that  golden 
passage  from  Dr.  Bellamy,  in  Mr.  Ryland,  jun.'s  sermon,  on 
God's  Experimental  Probation  of  Intelligent  Agents,  p.  45.* 

At  the  Association,  held  at  Olney,  in  1782,  Mr.  Fuller  was 
one  of  the  preachers,  on  June  5  ;  but  I  believe  he  was  prevented 
from  visiting  Kettering,  by  the  small-pox  being  in  the  town- 
After  his  return,  in  a  letter  to  Mr.  Wallis,  dated  July  3,  he  re- 
marks— "  We  have  had  a  day  of  fasting  and  prayer  since  my 
return  :  but  nothing  was  said  to  me.  It  was  a  time  of  much 
tenderness,  with  others  and  myself  loo  ;  however,  I  believe  no 
feelings  will  induce  me  to  act,  one  way  or  other,  contrary  to 
what  I  think  is  right  in  the  sight  of  God.  That  is  what  I  am 
determined  to  do.  A.  F." 

On  the  19th  of  July,  in  a  letter  to  Mr.  Wallis,  he  writes  thus : 
"  You  ask  in  yours,  4  Will  the  Lord  raise  desires  in  his  own 
people,  merely  to  disappoint  them  ?'  You  think  not ;  seeing 
that  God  hath  said,  *  The  desire  of  the  righteous  shall  be 
granted.'  Certainly,  if  God  does  excite  desires,  and  then  dis- 
appoint them,  it  is  for  some  higher  end  than  merely  their  dis- 
appointment. You  will  not  think,  dear  Sir,  that  I  mean  to 
discourage  you,  if  I  should  say,  the  above  explanation  of  the 
text  in  Proverbs  is  inconsistent  with  truth.  I  once  heard  a  ser- 

*  "  It  is  reasonable  and  fit,  and  a  thing  becoming  and  beautiful,  that 
beinirs  in  a  state  of  probation  should  be  tried  :  and  God  looks  upon  the 
present  outward  ease  and  comfort,  even  of  his  own  people,  as  a  matter  of 
no  importance,  compared  with  things  spiritual  and  eternal.  Eternity,  with 
all  its  importance,  lies  open  to  his  view  ;  and  time  appears  as  a  point,  and 
all  its  concerns  as  comparatively  of  no  worth.  If  the  wicked  are  in  pros- 
perity, and  the  righteous  in  adversity,  or  all  things  come  alike  to  all, 
God  is  well  pleased  ;  because  things  of  time  are  of  so  little  importance,  and 
because  such  an  administration  of  things  is  suited  to  a  state  of  trial. 
There  will  be  time  enough  hereafter  for  the  righteous  to  be  rewarded, 
and  the  wicked  punished  In  this  view  of  things,  we  may,  in  a  measure, 
understand  the  darkest,  and  account  for  the  most  mysterious  dispensations 
of  providence,  and  discern  the  wisdom  of  the  divine  government."  Preface 
to  Bellamy's  True  Religion  Delineated,  p.  iii.  Tfcis  admirable  book  has 
been  reprinted,  recommended  by  Mr.  Fuller. 


MB.  FDLLER.  4< 

mon,*  from  Psa.  cxlv.  19.  The  minister  proposed  first  to  explain 
his  subject,  and,  in  so  doing,  he  delivered  something  like  this : 
4  God  will  not  grant  us  every  desire.  That  is  our  mercy  :  for 
(1.)  Some  of  them  are  sinful.  David  desired  to  be  revenged 
on  Nabal,  and  his  innocent  family.  Jonah  desired  Nineveh's 
ruin.  (2.)  Others  would  not  be  for  our  good.  David  desired 
the  life  of  the  child  he  had  by  Bath-sheba  ;  David  also  desired 
the  life  of  Jonathan  :  neither  of  which  would  have  been  for  his 
good.  (3.)  Nay,  not  every  righteous  desire.  It  is  a  righteous 
desire,  for  a  minister  to  desire  the  salvation  of  those  that  hear 
him.  So  Paul  declared — I  would  to  God  that  all  that  are  here 
present  were  altogether  such  as  I  am.  Acts  xxvi.  29.  So  again, 
— I  could  wish  myself  accursed  from  Christ,  for  my  brethren's 
sake,  my  kinsmen  according  to  the  flesh  !  Rom.  ix.  1.  David 
desired  to  build  an  house  for  God,  and  it  was  a  righteous  desire  ; 
for  God  took  it  well  at  his  hands :  yet  he  did  not  grant  it- 
Kings  and  prophets  desired  to  see  the  Lord's  Messiah,  and  yet 
did  not  see  him.  How  then  are  we  to  understand  it  ?  Answer. 
The  sum*  or  substance  of  their  desires  shall  be  fulfilled.  What 
is  the  main  desire  of '  a  seaman  ? — that  he  may  arrive  at  the 
haven.  So  saints  will  be  brought  to  their  desired  haven  What, 
of  a  pilgrim  ?  See  Heb.  xi.  1 6.  So  all  the  desires  of  a  Christian 
are  summed  up  in  this — That  he  may  eternally  enjoy  God,  and 
be  like  him.  See  2  Sam.  xxiii.  5.'  Doubtless,  there  is  great 
mystery  in  these  things :  however,  I  think  it  is  certain  that  when 
God  raises  a  spiritual  desire  in  a  person,  it  is  often,  though 
not  always,  witli  an  intention  to  bestow  the  object  desired." 

On  the  20th  of  August,  1782,  he  writes  thus  to  Mr.  Wallis  : 
«  Since  I  saw  you,  though  it  is  but  a  little  time,  yet  I  have  had 
great  exercises.  The  day  I  parted  with  you,  calling  in  the 
evening  on  one  of  my  friends,  my  feelings  were  tried  by  what 
you  know  is  the  most  effectual  battery  on  my  heart  of  any  thing  ; 
I  mean  bitter  iveefiing.  The  Lord's  day  following,  the  meet- 
ing-house, to  say  all  in  one  word,  was  a  Bochim  .'  The  most 
unfeigned  sorrow,  I  believe  prevailed  almost  in  every  heart. 
For  my  own  part,  I  found  it  exceedingly  difficult  to  go  on  in 
preaching,  and  to  keep  from  weeping  quite  out !  I  hastened, 
as  soon  as  worship  was  over,  to  get  alone,  and  there  gave  full 

*  When  I  transcribed  this  sermon,  I  suspected  it  was  his  own,  and  have 
since  ascertained  it  to  have  been  so. 


48  MEMOIRS   OP 

vent  to  all  my  sorrow.  We  had  a  private  evening  meeting, 
which  was  more  trying  to  me  than  the  day.  I  saw  such  a  spirit 
in  the  church  in  general,  which  had  I  seen  half  a  year  ago, 
I  could  never  had  left  them,  come  what  would,  whatever  I  do 
now  !  I  went  home  to  my  house,  with  a  heart  full  of  distress, 
and  my  strength  nearly  exhausted  with  the  work  and  weeping 
of  the  day. 

"  The  next  day,  August  12, 1  devoted  to  fasting  and  prayer: 
found  special  outgoings  of  heart,  and  encouragements  to  pray, 
from  many  Scriptures.  I  scarcely  remember  such  a  day,  for 
tenderness  and  importunity  in  prayer,  in  my  life.  Two  days 
after,  I  felt  my  spirits  all  the  morning  exceedingly  depressed : 
got  alone  and  found  a  heart  to  pray,  with,  I  think,  greater 
importunity  than  I  had  done  before.  Oh  !  it  seemed  as  if 
J  must  have  my  petitions  granted,  or  I  could  not  live  !  This 
last  Lord's  day  was  a  tender  day  ;  but  not  like  the  Lord's  day 
preceding, 

"  Truly  Sir,  nothing  but  the  thoughts  of  an  open  door  for 
greater  usefulness  in  Christ's  cause,  (Surely  this  is  not  an  illu- 
sion I)  and  my  having  been  so  engaged  to  pray  for  the  coming 
of  Christ's  kingdom,  could  have  kept  me  from  dropping  all 
opposition,  and  yielding  to  the  church's  desire.  All  their  former 
treatment  towards  me  I  cannot  remember.  I  am  constrained, 
not  only  to  forgive  it,  but  to  forget  it.  And  as  to  profit  or  rep- 
utation, things  at  which  I  have  been  charged  with  aiming,  these 
seemed  no  more  that  the  mire  in  the  streets.  I  cannot  say 
what  I  shall  do.  1  desire  to  be  governed  by  judgment,  and 
mean  to  be  so  :  but  these  things  influence  my  judgment ;  and 
that  which  appeared  clear  before,  has  appeared  doubtful  since, 
Some  of  my  friends  also,  who  thought  my  way  clear  before, 
think  it  doubtful  now.  Oh  !  it  pains  me  to  the  heart,  to  put  you 
and  my  dear  friends  to  so  much  pain.  I  have  often  of  late,  la- 
mented before  the  Lord,  my  unhappy  situation — that  it  should 
be  my  lot  to  be  reduced  to  the  painful  necessity,  to  say  the 
least,  of  injuring,  at  one  place  or  the  other,  that  cause  which  of 
all  things  in  the  world  I  most  dearly  love.  My  dear  friend,  I 
must  beg  of  you  not  to  have  your  expectations  raised  too  much. 
Indeed  I  am  ashamed  to  mention  their  being  raised  at  all ;  only 
I  know  how  you  are.  Truly,  I  am  not  without  a  dread  of  being 
made  a  curse  to  you,  if  I  come.  I  feel  such  barrenness  and 
carnal-mindedness  habitually  prevail,  as  often  has  made  me  think 


AIR.    FULLER.  49 

my  labours  would  be  blasted,  be  where  I  might.  I  know  not 
but  such  is  your  partial  opinion  of  me,  that  you  will  be  apt  to  im- 
pute this  to  a  peculiar  sensibility  of  the  plague  of  my  own  heart; 
but  verily  this  is  not  the  case.  My  soul  is  indeed  like  the  lands 
of  Jericho,  barren,  and  almost  all  my  services,  like  its  waters, 
naught :  and,  unless  something  extraordinary  be  done  to  the 
spring-head  of  all,  to  heal  the  waters,  like  what  was  done  by  the 
prophet  Elisha,  my  barrenness  will  be  my  plague,  and  the  plague 
of  those  about  me. 

"  I  must  farther  beg  of  you  not  to  move  it  to  the  church  to ) 
give  me  any  farther  call.  If  I  leave  Soham,  I  shall  come,  not 
doubting  their  willingness  to  receive  me  :  and  if  not,  the  more 
there  is  done  by  the  church,  as  a  church,  towards  it,  the  greater 
will  be  their  disappointment.  For  my  own  part,  the  language 
of  my  heart  is,  '  Here  I  am  :  let  him  do  with  me  as  seemeth 
good  to  him.*  I  do  not  expect  nor  wait  for  extraordinary  di- 
rections. All  I  look  for  is,  to  have  my  way  plain,  my  judgment 
clear,  and  my  conscience  satisfied.  Pray  to  the  Lord,  my  dear 
Sir,  earnestly,  yet  submissively.  I  thought  it  right  to  give  you 
an  honest  account  of  things  as  above  ;  and  I  think  it  but  right  as 
honestly  to  say  on  the  other  hand,  that  all  things  considered,  not- 
withstanding the  check  I.  have  lately  met  with,  the  evidence  for 
removing  rather  preponderates,  than  that  for  continuing. 
Meanwhile,  till  we  see  the  issue  of  things,  may  we  each  become 
dead  to  all  created  good,  any  farther  than  as  it  may  subserve 
the  glory  of  God !  So  desires 

«  Your  affectionate,  but  distressed  friend,  A.  F." 

The  church  at  Kettering,  however,  did  send  him  another  in- 
vitation ;  and  the  following  is  Mr.  Fuller's  reply: 
«  To  the  church  of  Christ  at  Kettering.  Soham,  Sept.  22,  1782. 
«  Dear  Brethren, 

«  Yours  I  received,  and  quite  approve  of  your  devoting  a  day 
to  fast  and  pray  to  the  Lord,  on  such  a  solemn  occasion.  I 
thank  you  for  your  remembrance  of  me  and  the  church  at  Soham, 
on  that  day,  as  well  as  for  your  kind  and  repeated  invitation  ; 
to  which  I  can  only  say,  that  if  I  should  leave  Soham  at  the  time 
you  expect,  I  have  no  other  thoughts  than  to  comply.  God  only 
knows  how  it  will  be  with  me,  when  the  time  comes.  True  it 
is,  I  give  the  church  here  no  reason  to  expect  any  thing 
but  my  removal :  but  such  a  spirit  of  tenderness  now  takes 
place  among  them,  that  it  shakes  my  confidence,  and  threatens 
7 


I 

I 

50  MEMOIRS    OF 

to  destroy  my  happiness,  if  I  remove.  It  is  true,  I  do  habitually 
think  of  removing ;  but  do  not  you  expect  it  too  much.  Hold 
Christ  and  your  religion  with  a  close  hand,  but  me  and  every 
other  creature  with  a  loose  one.  God  can  bless  you  without 
me,  and  blast  you  with  me.  If  I  come,  O  that  the  Spirit  of 
God  may  come  with  me  I  Surely  it  is  my  habitual  prayer— 
<  If  thy  presence  go  not  with  me,  carry  me  not  up  hence.*  With 
great  respect  and  esteem,  I  remain,  dear  Brethren,  Yours  in 
the  gospel,  A.  F." 

This  painful  conflict  was  at  length  brought  to  a  close,  and 
Mr.  Fuller  removed  to  Kettering  in  October  1782.  Yet  still 
the  welfare  of  the  people  he  had  left  lay  near  his  heart:  as  is  ev- 
ident from  the  following  letter  addressed  to  one  of  them  : 

"  Dear  Brother,  «  Kettering,  Dec.  4,  1782. 

"  How  deep  are  the  designs  of  Providence !  <  Too  deep  to 
sound  with  mortal  lines,'  &c.  Since  I  have  been  here,  I  have 
had  various  exercises  of  mind ;  but  the  state  of  the  church  at 
Soham  has  laid  nearest  of  any  thing  I  Such 'has  been  the  union 
of  affection  between  them  and  me,  that  I  suppose  no  events  in 
time,  and  1  hope  none  in  eternity,  will  ever  dissolve  it.  This,  I 
know,  some  would  think  to  be  scarcely  reconcileable  with  my 
conduct  in  leaving  them  ;  but  however  it  may  appear,  so  it  is- 
I  can  truly  say, 4  Who  among  them  is  afflicted,  and  I  burn  not  ?' 
My  earnest  prayers  have  been  in  their  calamity.  I  have  not 
yet  seen  any  reason  to  repent  of  what  I  have  done.  The  Lord 
I  think,  has  been  with  me  hitherto,  in  my  work,  and  in  my  pri- 
vate retirements.  But  alas,  poor  people  1  they  are  destitute ! 
Oh  I  this  after  all  wounds  me.  O  may  He  whose  name  is  Je- 
hovah-jireh,  see  and  provide  for  them  1  I  trust  in  God  they 
will  be  provided  for.  I  hear  that  they  keep  together,  and  are  in  a 
good  spirit.  The  Lord  who  loves  his  cause  better  than  we  can, 
will  not  suffer,  I  think,  people  of  such  a  spirit  to  fall  to  the 
ground.  I  have  many  other  things  to  say  to  you  ;  but  I  trust 
shortly  to  see  you.  Meanwhile,  farewel.  The  Lord  be  with 
you  !  Your  affectionate  Brother,  A.  F." 

Long,  however,  as  the  people  at  Kettering  had  been  waiting 
for  him,  Mr.  F.  was  not  settled  as  their  pastor,  till  he  had  been 
with  them  about  twelve  months. 

He  was  previously  received  as  a  member,  on  the  following 
letter  of  dismission  from  the  church  to  which  he  originally 
belonged  :— » 


MR.   FULLER. 

ft  The  church  of  Christ  at  Soharn,  of  the  Baptist  denomination, 
to  the  church  of  Christ  at  Kettering  of  the  same  denomination, 
sendeth  Christian  salutations, 

«  Dear  Brethren, 

"  Inasmuch  as  you  have  requested,  that  our  Brother  and  for- 
mer pastor,  Mr.  Andrew  Fuller,  should  be  dismissed  to  you^ 
we  accordingly  comply  therewith  ;  though  it  pains  our  hearts, 
and  renews  our  former  grief.  On  the  thoughts  of  such  a  re- 
quest, we  are  ready  to  give  ear  to  the  voice  that  cried  in  Ezekiel's 
hearing,  '  O  wheel !'  His  ways  are  in  the  great  deep,  and  his 
footsteps  past  finding  out. 

"  O  that  Peter's  wish  may  be  accomplished  in  us-—*  That  the 
trial  of  our  faith,  being  much  more  precious  than  that  of  gold 
which  perisheth,  might  be  found  to  praise  and  glory,  at  the 
appearing  of  the  Lord  Jesus  Christ I* 

"  With  regard  to  Mr.  Fuller's  conduct,  as  a  Christian,  while 
he  was  with  us,  we  have  nothing  to  lay  to  his  charge.  It  was> 
in  many  respects,  very  amiable.  Relative  to  his  ministerial 
character — his  faithfulness,  wisdom,  tenderness,  and  freeness 
with  his  friends,  were  the  things  which  captivated  our  hearts, 
and  united  our  affections  to  him,  which  make  our  parting  the 
more  trying.  But  we  wish  that  our  loss  may  be  your  gain.  We 
therefore  consent  to  grant  your  request ;  and  hereby  dismiss  him 
to  you,  as  a  church  of  the  living  God,  of  the  same  faith  and 
order  with  ourselves. 

"  Now,  upon  your  reading  and  approving  of  this  his  dismis- 
sion to  you,  and  your  formal  receiving  of  him,  we  thereupon, 
(and  not  till  then)  pronounce  his  open  communion  with  us  to 
cease,  and  immediately  with  you  to  commence.  And  that  it 
may  be  to  the  increase  of  the  Redeemer's  kingdom  with  you, 
and  the  promotion  of  his  interest  at  large,  is  the  desire  of 

"  Yours,  in  the  bonds  of  Christian  love, 

(Signed, in  behalf  of  WM.  BARRET;>n 

the  whole  Church,  JOHN  WEST  ;  $  L 

Aug.  10,  1783.)  JOH»  FULLER; 

P.  K.  STAPLES; 

JOHN  LOFT&." 

At  Mr.  Fuller's  settlement,  which  did  not  take  place  till 
October  7,  1783,  the  work  of  the  day  was  introduced  lay  Mr. 
John  Evans,  of  Foxton.  The  account  of  the  leadings  of  Proy- 


MEMOIRS    OF 

idence  given  by  the  church,  was  very  affecting;  and  so  was 
Mr.  Fuller's  narration  of  his  exercises  of  mind,  and  his  C6n- 
fession  of  Faith.  One  of  the  ministers  present,  I  know,  was 
much  moved  by  it,  and  made  ashamed  of  his  own  defects. 
Mr.  Hall's  discourse  was  very  instructive  ;  though  his  excess 
•f  modesty,  and  his  high  respect  for  his  younger  brother,  in- 
duced him  not  to  give  him  a  charge,  but  only  express  a  wish— 
«  The  Lord  Jesus  Christ  be  with  thy  spirit."  2  Tim.  iv.  22. 

Mr.  Ryland,  jun  *  preached  to  the  people,  from  Acts  xx.  SI- 
The  Rev.  Messrs.  David  Evans,  of  Thome  ;  Sutcliff,  of  Olney  ; 
Symmonds,  of  Bedford  ;  and  Coles,  of  Long  Buckby ;  engaged 
in  prayer. 

Mr.  David  Evans  preached  in  the  evening,  from  Psa.  xxv. 
3. — "  Let  them  be  ashamed  that  transgress  without  cause." — A 
solid,  judicious,  discourse.  It  was  altogether  a  clay  long  to  be 
remembered. 

A  copy  of  Mr.  Fuller's  statement  of  the  circumstances 
which  induced  his  removal,  and  of  his  Confession  of  Faith, 
having  been  found  among  his  papers,  will  be  here  inserted- 
The  following  is  his  statement  of  the  circumstances  which  in- 
duced his  removal,  and  of  the  exercises  of  his  mind  on  that 
occasion  : 

"  For  me  to  enter  minutely  into  this  affair,  might  perhaps, 
be  attended  with  too  great  a  revival  of  feelings  for  me,  at  this 
"time  and  place,  to  sustain  ;  and,  as  the  affair  is  so  well  known  by 
many  here  present,  I  must  beg  to  be  indulged  in  being  short. 

« It  seems  a  strange  thing  that  is  come  upon  me  !  I  seem? 
still  at  times,  as  if  I  could  scarcely  believe  it  to  be  true  !  I  was 
always  averse  to  removals,  and  had  inured  myself  to  look  upon 
them  with  a  jealous  eye.  I  do  not,  therefore,  wonder  that 
others  have  done  the  same  by  mine.  I  suppose,  there  was  a 
time  when,  if  any  one  had  suggested  the  idea  of  my  removal, 
it  would  have  seemed,  to  me,  a  strange,  unlikely  thing.  But 

however,  it  was  so it  is  come  to  pass  I 

"  I  imagine,  it  will  not  be  expected  that  I  should  enter  upon 
a  vindication  of  my  conduct  in  that  affair.  I  only  say  this  : 
There  were  several  things  concurred  together,  to  make  me, 
first,  hesitate  whether  it  was  my  duty  to  abide  where  I  was,  and* 

*  My  father  was  in  London  at  this  time.  Neither  Mr.  Martin,  nor  Mr. 
Booth  was  at  Kettering.  If  they  had  come  from  London  on  purpose  to 
be  present  I  am  persuaded  they  would  have  been  employed  in  some  part 
of  the  service.  B. 


MR.    FULLER.  53 

afterwards,  to  think  it  was  not.  Desirous,  however,  of  doing 
nothing  rashly,  I  was  determined  to  wait  a  considerable  time, 
before  I  did  any  thing.  My  chief  desire,  I  think,  was  to  pre- 
serve a  conscience  void  of  offence,  towards  God  and  towards 
man.  I  had,  all  along,  much  jealousy  of  my  own  heart,  and 
many  fears.  I  frequently  laid  my  case  before  God,  in  prayer, 
with  much  more  importunity  than  I  usually  feel.  I  sometimes 
devoted  days  on  purpose  for  fasting  and  prayer,  on  the  occasion- 
On  some  of  those  days,  partly  for  the  church  at  Soham,  and 
partly  for  myself,  I  had,  I  think,  the  most  earnest  outgoings  of 
heart  to  the  Lord,  that  ever  I  felt  in  my  life.  I  consulted  many 
friends,  ministers  upon  the  spot,  (who  knew  the  case,)  and 
ministers  at  a  distance.  I  think,  to  nine  of  them,  some  of  w -.«om 
are  here  present,  I  told  the  case  as  impartially  as  I  was  able, 
and  asked  their  advice.  Still  my  heart  felt  reluctant  at  the 
thoughts  of  a  removal.  I  submitted  the  case  to  three  or  four 
indifferent  persons,  who  heard  the  particulars  on  both  sides. 
The  issue  was,  I  stayed  another  year.  At  that  time,  it  was  my 
purpose  to  remain  for  life.  I  told  the  church  at  Kettering,  in 
a  letter,  to  that  effect.  But  I  soon  found,  that  reproach — re" 
proach  unlamented—- had  broken  my  heart !  The  bond  of  my 
affection  was  dissolved.  I  could  not  feel  a  union  of  spirit ; 
without  which,  I  could  not  continue.  In  proportion  as  I  de- 
spaired of  this,  I  felt  my  heart  incline  towards  the  church  at 
Kettering.  At  length,  impelled  by  several  motives,  (of  some  of 
•which,  especially,  I  think  I  shall  not  be  ashamed  at  the  day  of 
judgment,)  I  removed  ! — a  painful  event  to  me.  I  have,  how- 
ever, one  consolation  remaining— that,  as  far  as  I  know,  I  acted 
herein  to  the  best  of  my  judgment  and  conscience.  Yet,  after 
all,  I  have  had  many  relentings,  and  many  reflections  upon 
some  parts  of  my  conduct ;  as  well  as  fears  lest  the  Lord  should 
blast  me  in  the  future  part  of  my  life  :  for,  though  1  have  never, 
to  this  day,  thought  the  thing  itself  to  be  wrong ;  yet  I  have, 
upon  review,  seen  a  great  deal  of  vanity  mixing  itself  in  my 
motives,  and  a  great  deal  of  folly  in  some  parts  of  my  conduct, 
for  all  which  I  desire  to  be  ashamed. 

"  Since  my  removal  hither,  I  have  found  much  outgoing  of 
heart  for  the  welfare  of  Christ's  kingdom,  particularly  in  this 
part  of  Zion.  When  repeatedly  requested  to  take  this  office 
upon  me,  I  have  not  been  without  my  fears  ;  and,  might  I  have 
indulged  that  sort  of  feeling,  I  suppose  I  should  not  have  ac- 


34  MEMOIRS     OF 

i 

cepted  their  invitation  for  the  present.  But  I  wish  to  attend  to 
the  voice  of  duly.  Duty  seemed  to  call  for  my  compliance.  I, 
therefore,  applied  for,  and  received,  a  dismission  from  the 
church  at  Soham  to  the  church  at  Kettering ;  and  have  resigned 
myself  up,  to  serve  them  in  the  Lord.  I  wish  it  may  be  for 
the  glory  of  Christ,  and  their  good :  though,  I  must  own,  the 
pleasure  of  this  day  is  marred  to  me,  because  a  union  with  the 
one  church  cannot  be  effected  but  by  a  disunion  with  the  other.'* 

The  following  is  a  copy  of  Mr.  Fuller's  statement  of  his  re- 
ligious principles : 

"  I. — When  I  consider  the  heavens  and  the  earth,  with  their 
vast  variety,  it  gives  me  reason  to  believe  the  existence  of  a 
God  of  infinite  wisdom,  power,  and  goodness,  that  made  and 
upholds  them  all.  Had  there  been  no  written  revelation  of  God 
given  to  us,  I  should  have  been  without  excuse,  if  I  had  denied 
a  God,  or  refused  to  glorify  him  as  God. 
,  "  II.— -Yet,  considering  the  present  state  of  mankind,  I  be- 
lieve we  needed  a  revelation  of  the  mind  of  God,  to  inform  us 
more  fully  of  his  and  our  own  character,  of  his  designs  towards 
us,  and  will  concerning  us :  and  such  a  revelation  I  believe  the 
Scriptures  of  the  Old  and  New  Testament  to  be,  without  ex- 
cepting any  one  of  its  books  ;  and  a  perfect  rule  of  faith  and 
practice.  When  I  acknowledge  it  as  a  perfect  rule  of  faith 
and  practice,  I  mean  to  disclaim  all  other  rules,  as  binding  on 
my  conscience ;  and  as  well,  to  acknowledge,  that  if  I  err,  either 
in  faith  or  practice,  from  this  rule,  it  will  be  my  crime  ;  for  I 
have  ever  considered  all  deviations  from  divine  rules  to  be 
criminal. 

"  III — In  this  divine  volume,  I  learn  many  things  con- 
cerning God,  which  I  could  not  have  learned  from  the  works  of 
nature,  and  the  same  things  in  a  more  convincing  light.  Here 
I  learn,  especially,  the  infinitely  amiable  moral  character  of 
God.  His  holiness,  justice,  faithfulness,  and  goodness,  are  here 
exhibited  in  such  a  light,  by  his  holy  law  and  glorious  gospel,  as 
is  nowhere  else  to  be  seen. 

"  Here  also  I  learn,  that,  though  God  is  One,  yet  he  also  is 
Three — the  Father,  the  Son,  and  the  Holy  Spirit.  The  idea 
which  I  think  the  Scriptures  give  us  of  each  of  the  Sacred 
Three,  is  that  of  fitrson. 

«  I  believe  the  Son  of  God  to  be  truly  and  properly  God, 
equal  with  the  Father  and  the  Holy  Spirit. 


MR.    FULLER.  55 

ft  Every  thing  I  see  in  this  sacred  mystery,  appears  to  me 
above  reason,  but  nothing  contrary  to  it. 

"  IV. — I  believe,  from  the  same  authority,  that  God  created 
man  in  the  image  of  his  own  glorious  moral  character,  a  proper 
subject  of  his  moral  government,  with  dispositions  exactly  suited 
to  the  law  he  was  under,  and  capacity  equal  to  obey  it  to  the 
uttermost,  against  all  temptations  to  the  contrary.  I  believe,  if 
Adam,  or  any  holy  being,  had  had  the  making  of  a  law  for 
himself,  he  would  have  made  just  such  an  one  as  God's  law  is ; 
for  it  would  be  the  greatest  of  hardships  to  a  holy  being,  not 
to  be  allowed  to  love  God  with  all  his  heart,  and  with  all  his 
soul,  and  with  all  his  mind. 

"  V.— I  believe,  the  conduct  of  man,  in  breaking  the  law  of 
God,  was  most  unreasonable  and  wicked  in  itself,  as  well  as 
fatal  in  its  consequences  to  the  transgressor  ;  and  that  sin  is  of 
such  a  nature,  that  it  deserves  all  that  wrath  and  misery  with 
which  it  is  threatened,  in  this  world  and  in  that  which  is  tf> 
come. 

«  VI.— I  believe,  the  first  sin  of  Adam  was  not  merely  fier- 
sonal,  but  that  he  stood  as  our  representative  ;  so  that,  when 
he  fell,  we  fell  in  him,  and  became  liable  to  condemnation  and 
death  ;  and  what  is  more,  are  all  born  into  the  world  with  a 
vile  propensity  to  sin  against  God. 

"  I  own,  there  are  some  things  in  these  subjects,  which  ap- 
pear to  me  profound  and  awful :  but  seeing  God  hath  so 
plainly  revealed  them  in  his  word,  especially  in  the  5th  chapter 
of  the  epistle  to  the  Romans,  I  dare  not  but  bow  my  shallow 
conceptions  to  the  unerring  testimony  of  God ;  not  doubting 
but  that  he  will  clear  his  own  character  sufficiently  at  the  last 
day.  At  the  same  time,  I  know  of  no  other  system  that  rep- 
resents these  subjects  in  a  more  rational  light. 
.  "  VII.— I  believe,  as  I  before  stated,  that  men  are  now  bom 
and  grow  up  with  a  vile  propensity  to  moral  evil,  and  that  herein 
lies  their  inability  to  keep  God's  law  ;  and  as  such,  it  is  a 
moral  and  a  criminal  inability.  Were  they  but  of  a  right  dis- 
position of  mind,  there  is  nothing  now  in  the  law  of  God  but 
what  they  could  perform ;  but,  being  wholly  under  the  do- 
minion of  sin,  they  have  no  heart  remaining  for  God,  but  are 
full  of  wicked  aversion  to  him.  Their  very  mind  and  conscience 
dre  dejiled.  Their  ideas  of  the  excellence  of  good,  and  of  the 
evil  of  -sin,  are  as  it  were,  obliterated. 


56  MEMOIRS    OF 

"  These  are  subjects  which  seem  to  me,  of  very  great  im- 
portance. I  conceive,  that  the  whole  Arminian,  Socinian,  and 
Antinomian  systems,  so  far  as  I  understand  them,  rest  upon 
the  supposition  of  these  principles  being  false.  So  that,  if  it 
should  be  found,  at  last,  that  God  is  an  infinitely  excellent  be- 
ing, worthy  of  being  loved  with  all  that  love  which  his  law  re- 
quires ;  that,  as  such,  his  law  is  entirely  fair  and  equitable, 
and  that  for  God  to  have  required  less,  would  have  been  denying 
himself  to  be  what  he  is  ;  and  if  it  should  appear,  at  last,  that 
man  is  utterly  lost,  and  lies  absolutely  at  the  discretion  of  God  ; 
then,  I  think  it  is  easy  to  prove,  the  whole  of  these  systems 
must  fall  to  the  ground.  If  men,  on  account  of  sin,  lie  at  the 
discretion  of  God,  the  equity,  and  even  necessity,  of  predesti- 
nation cannot  be  denied  ;  and  so  the  Arminian  system  falls.  If 
the  law  of  God  is  right  and  good,  and  arises  from  the  very  na- 
ture of  God,  Antinomianism  cannot  stand.  And  if  we  are 
such  great  sinners,  we  need  a  great  Saviour,  infinitely  greater 
than  the  Socinian  Saviour. 

"  VIII — From  what  I  have  said,  it  must  be  supposed,  that 
I  believe  the  doctrine  of  eternal  personal  election  and  predes- 
tination. However,  I  believe,  that,  though  in  the  choice  of  the 
elect  God  had  no  motive  out  of  himself,  yet  it  was  not  so  in 
respect  to  punishing  the  rest.  What  has  been  usually,  but 
perhaps,  improperly,  called  the  decree  of  reprobation,  I  consider 
as  nothing  more  than  the  divine  determination  to  fiunish  sin,  in 
certain  cases,  in  the  person  of  the  sinner. 

"  IX. — I  believe,  that  the  fall  of  man  did  not  at  all  disconcert 
the  Great  Eternal ;  but  that  he  had  from  eternity  formed  a  plan 
upon  the  supposition  of  that  event*  (as  well  knowing  that  so  it 
would  be,)  and  that,  in  this  everlasting  covenant,  as  it  is  called, 
the  Sacred  Three,  (speaking  after  the  manner  of  men,)  stipu- 
lated with  each  other  for  the  bringing  about  their  vast  and 
glorious  design. 

«  X. — The  unfolding  of  this  glorious  plan  to  view,  I  believe, 
has  been  a  gradual  work  from  the  beginning'.  First,  it  was 
hinted  to  our  first  parents,  in  the  promise  of  the  woman's 
seed ;  then,  by  the  institution  of  sacrifices,  by  types,  prophe- 
cies, and  promises,  it  was  carried  on,  throughout  the  Mosaic 
dispensation :  at  length,  the  Son  of  God  appeared,  took  our 
nature,  obeyed  the  law,  and  endured  the  curse,  and  hereby  made 
full  and  proper  atonement  for  the  sins  of  his  own  elect ;  rose 


MR»    FULLER.  57 

again  from  the  dead,  commissioned  his  apostles  to  go  into  all 
the  world  and  preach  his  gospel,  and  then  triumphantly  as- 
cended above  all  heavens,  where  he  sitteth  at  the  right  hand  of 
God,  interceding  for  his  people,  and  governing  the  world  in 
subserviency  to  their  welfare,  till  he  shall  come  a  second  time 
to  judge  the  world. 

"  I  cannot  reflect  upon  this  glorious  procedure,  with  its 
all-glorious  Author,  without  emotions  of  wonder  and  gratitude. 
As  a  workman,  he  might  be  truly  said  to  have  his  work  before 
him  !  At  once  he  glorified  the  injured  character  of  God,  and 
confounded  the  devil — destroyed  sin,  and  suved  the  sinner ! 

<*  XI — I  believe,  that  such  is  the  excellence  of  this  way  of 
salvation,  that  every  one  who  hears,  or  has  opportunity  to  hear 
it  proclaimed  in  the  gospel, 'is  bound  to  repent  of  his  sin,  be- 
lieve, approve,  and  embrace  it  with  all  his  heart ;  to  consider 
himself,  as  he  really  is,  a  vile,  lost  sinner  ;  to  reject  all  preten- 
sions to  life  in  any  other  way  ;  and  to  cast  himself  upon  Christ, 
that  he  may  be  saved  in  this  way  of  God's  devising.  This  I 
think  to  be  true  faith,  which  whoever  have,  I  believe,  will 
certainly  be  saved. 

"  XII — But,  though  the  way  of  salvation  is  in  itself  so  glo- 
rious, that  a  man  must  be  an  enemy  to  God,  to  mankind,  and  to 
himself,  not  to  approve  it  ;  yet  I  believe,  the  pride,  ignorance, 
enmity,  and  love  to  sin  in  men,  is  such,  that  they  will  not  come 
to  Christ  for  life  ;  but,  in  spite  of  all  the  calls  or  threatening* 
of  God,  will  go  on,  till  they  sink  into  eternal  perdition  Hence, 
I  believe,  arises  the  necessity  of  an  almighty  work  of  God  the 
Spirit,  to  new-model  the  whole  soul,  to  form  in  us  new  princi* 
pies  or  dispositions  ;  or,  as  the  Scriptures  call  it,  to  give  us 
a  new  heart  and  a  new  spirit.  I  think,  had  we  not  first  de- 
generated^ we  had  stood  in  no  need  of  being  regenerated  ;  but 
as  we  are  by  nature,  depraved,  we  must  be  born  again.  The 
influence  of  the  Spirit  of  God,  in  this  work,  I  believe  to  be 
always  effectual. 

"  XIII. — I  believe,  the  change  that  takes  place  in  a  person  at 
the  time  of  his  ^believing  in  the  Lord  Jesus  Christ,  is  not  only 
real,  but  relative.  Before  our  believing  in  Christ,  we  are  con- 
sidered and  treated  by  God,  as  a  lawgiver,  as  under  condemna- 
tion ;  but  having  fled  to  him  for  refue-e,  the  law,  as  to  its  con- 
demning power,  hath  no  more  dominion  over  us,  but  we  are 
8 


68  MEMOIRS    OF 

treated,  even  by  God  the  judge,  as  in  a  state  of  justification. 
The  subject-matter  of  justification,  I  believe  to  be  nothing  of- 
our  own  moral  excellence  ;  but  the  righteousness  of  Christ, 
alone,  imputed  to  us,  and  received  by  faith. 

"  Also  I  believe,  that,  before  we  believe  in  Christ, 
notwithstanding  the  secret  purpose  of  God  in  our  favour,  we 
are  considered,  by  the  moral  Governor  of  the  world,  as  aliens, 
as  children  of  wrath,  even  as  others ;  but  that,  on  our  believing 
on  his  Son,  we  are  considered  as  no  more  strangers  and  for- 
eigners, but  are  admitted  into  his  family,  and  have  power,  or 
privilege,  to  become  the  sons  of  God  ! 

"  XIV I  believe,  all  those  who  are  effectually  called  of  God 

never  fall  away,  so  as  to  perish  everlastingly  ;  but  persevere  in 
holiness,  till  they  arrive  at  endless  happiness. 

"  XV.— I  believe,  it  is  the  duty  of  every  minister  of  Christ 
plainly  and  faithfully  to  preach  the  gospel  to  all  who  will  hear 
it ;  and,  as  I  believe  the  inability  of  men  to  spiritual  things  to 
be  wholly  of  the  moral,  and  therefore,  of  the  criminal  kind—- 
and that  it  is  their  duty  to  love  the  Lord  Jesus  Christ,  and  trust 
in  him  for  salvation,  though  they  do  not ;  I,  therefore,  believe 
free  and  solemn  addresses,  invitations,  calls  and  warnings  to 
them,  to  be  not  only  consistent*  but  directly  adafited,  as  means, 
in  the  hand  of  the  Spirit  of  God,  to  bring  them  to  Christ.  I 
consider  it  as  a  part  of  my  duty,  which  I  could  not  omit  without 
being  guilty  of  the  blood  of  souis. 

»'  XVI. — I  believe,  the  ordinances  which  Christ,  as  King  of 
Zion,  has  instituted  for  his  church  to  be  found  in,  throughout 
the  gospel  day,  are  especially  two  ;  namely,  Baptism  and  the 
Lord's  Supper.  I  believe  tne  subjects  of  both  to  be  those  who 
profess  repentance  towards  God,  and  faith  towards  our  Lord 
Jesus  Christ ;  and  on  such  I  consider  them  as  incumbent  du- 
ties. I  believe  it  essential  to  Christian  Baptism,  that  it  be  by 
immersion,  or  burying  the  person  in  water,  in  the  name  of  the 
Father,  the  Son,  and  the  Holy  Ghost.  I  likewise  believe,  Bap- 
tism, as  administered  by  the  primitive  church,  to  be  prerequi- 
site to  church  communion  ;  hence  I  judge  what  is  called  strict 
communion  to  be  consistent  with  the  word  of  God. 

"  XVII. — Although  I  disclaim  personal  holiness,  as  having 
any  share  in  our  justification,  I  consider  it  absolutely  neces- 
sary to  salvation  ;  for  without  it  *  no  man  shall  see  the  Lord, 


MR.    FULLER.  59 

— *  XVIII. — I  believe  the  soul  of  man  is  created  immortal  ; 
and  that,  when  the  body  dies,  the  soul  returns  to  God  who  gave 
it,  and  there  receives  an  immediate  sentence,  either  to  a  state 
of  happiness  or  misery,  there  to  remain  till  the  resurrection  of 
the  dead. 

u  XIX — As  I  said  that  the  developement  of  God's  plan  has 
been  gradual  from  the  beginning,  so  I  believe  this  gradation 
•will  be  beautifully  and  gloriously  carried  on.  I  firmly  and  joy- 
fully believe,  that  the  kingdom  of  Christ  will  yet  be  gloriously 
extended,  by  the  pouring  out  of  God's  Spirit  upon  the  ministry 
of  the  word  :  and  I  consider  this  as  an  event,  for  the  arrival  of 
which  it  becomes  all  God's  servants  and  churches  most  ardent- 
ly to  pray  !  It  is  one  of  the  chief  springs  of  my  joy  in  this  day  of 
small  things^  that  it  will  not  be  so  always. 

"  XX — Finally,  I  believe  that  Christ  will  come  a  second 
time,  not  as  before,  to  save  the  world,  but  to  judge  the  world. 
There,  in  the  presence  of  an  assembled  universe,  every  son  and 
daughter  of  Adam  shall  appear  at  God's  tremendous  bar,  and 
give  account  of  the  things  done  in  the  body  ;  there  sinners,  es- 
pecially those  who  have  rejected  Christ,  (God's  way  of  salva- 
tion,) will  be  convicted,  confounded,  and  righteously  condemned ! 
These  shall  go  away  into  everlasting  punishment :  but  the 
righteous,  who  through  grace  have  embraced  Christ,  and  fol- 
lowed him  whithersoever  he  went,  shall  follow  him  there  like- 
wise, and  enter  with  him  into  the  eternal  joy  of  their  Lord. 
This  solemn  event,  I  own,  on  some  accounts,  strikes  me  with 
trembling ;  yet  on  others,  I  cannot  but  look  on  it  with  a  mixture 
of  joy.  When  I  consider  it  as  the  period  when  God  will  be 
vindicated  from  all  the  hard  thougnts  which  ungodly  sinners 
have  indulged,  and  the  hard  speeches  which  they  have  spoken 
against  him  ;  when  all  wrongs  shall  be  righted,  truth  brought 
to  light,  and  justice  done  where  none  here  could  be  obtained  ; 
when  the  whole  empire  of  sin,  misery,  and  death  shall  sink 
like  a  millstone,  into  the  sea  of  eternal  oblivion,  and  never  arise 
more  ;  when  God's  whole  plan  shall  be  exposed  to  the  view  of 
admiring  millions  ; — when,  J  say,  I  consider  it  in  this  view,  I 
cannot  but  look  upon  it  as  an  object  of  joy,  and  wish  my  time 
may  be  spent  in  this  world,  in  <  looking  for  and  hasting  unto  the 
Doming  of  the  day  of  God.*  " 


MEMOIRS   OF   MR.   FULLER. 


CHAP,  IV. 


EXTRACTS    FROM    HIS  PRIVATE  DIARY,  BEGINNING  JUNE 
3,    1T80,    AND    ENDING    JANUARY    10,    1T82. 


CONSIDERABLE  use  has  already  been  made  of  this  man« 
uscript  in  the  preceding  Chapter ;  wherein  many  extracts  were 
inserted  from  it,  indicating  his  tender  regard  for  the  people  with 
whom  he  was  first  united,  and  his  conscientious  concern,  when 
he  found  it  necessary  to  think  of  leaving  them,  to  do  nothing 
contrary  to  the  divine  will. 

I  shall  now  make  a  more  general  use  of  it,  to  show  in  how 
remarkable  a  degree  he  watched  over  his  own  heart,  and  con- 
stantly maintained  a  conflict  with  indwelling  sin  ;  and  also,  how 
anxiously  he  was  concerned  for  the  success  of  his  ministry, 
and  the  spiritual  welfare  of  his  people. 

I  will  transcribe  the  substance  of  what  is  recorded  in  thejirst 
two  months^  just  in  the  order  of  time. 

"June  14,  1780. — Went  out  to  visit  some  fallen  brethren. 
Convinced  that  no  art  was  necessary  in  religion,  resolved  to 


MR.    FULLER.  61 

proceed  with  all  plainness  and  openness.  Did  so,  and  hope 
for  good  effects.  Left  each  party  with  weeping  eyes  . .  But  oh  ! 
how  liable  to  sin  myself ! 

«  16 — Felt  the  importance  of  religion,  and  a  desire  of  seeing 
the  glory  of  Christ,  and  being  conformed  to  his  image.  Saw  a 
beauty  in  Eccles.  xii.  13. — <  Fear  God,  and  keep  his  command- 
ments :  for  this  is  the  whole  of  man.' 

"  June  17,  1780. — Some  light,  but  little  life.  A  great  part 
of  the  day,  how  dull !  O  that  what  little  light  I  have  had,  had 
been  more  transforming  I  Have  been  thinking  on  1  Cor.  iii.  18. 
• — but,  oh  !  how  little  changed  t  I  think  I  have  seen  one  thing 
to-day — That  speaking  ostentatiously  of  any  thing  laudable  in 
ourselves,  is  the  way  to  mar  all  the  peace  or  pleasure  that  we 
enjoy  in  it.  I  think  I  see  that  this  is  a  sin  which  easily  besets 
me,  and  which  needs  being  guarded  against. 

"  18.— I  found  a  solid  satisfaction  to-day,  in  preaching  in  a 
searching  manner,  from  1  Cor.  xi.  31. — c  If  we  would  judge 
ourselves,  we  should  not  be  judged :'  but  wish  to  feel  it  more. 

«  20.— O  how  my  days  are  spent !  Grace,  how  inactive  !  Sin, 
how  active  !  Surely  exaggeration  is  a  sin  that  easily  besets  me ! 
May  I  be  more  upon  my  watch  against  it ! 

**  2 1  .—What !  have  the  powers  of  grace  and  sin  concluded  a 
truce  ?  I  feel  to-day,  as  if  both  lay  nearly  still ;  as  if  I  were 
strangely  destitute  of  all  thought ;  devoid  of  pleasure,  carnal 
or  spiritual  ;  or  sorrow,  whether  godly  or  worldly. 

44  22. — O  that  I  might  feel  more  of  the  power  of  religion, 
and  know  more  of  the  love  of  Christ,  which  passeth  knowledge  1 
I  think  I  see  divine  excellence  in  such  a  life.  O  that  thou 
wouldest  bless  me  indeed,  and  enlarge  my  coast !  I  am  going, 
God  willing,  to  visit  a  friend  to-day.  O  that  a  spirit  of  watch- 
fulness, savour,  and  fellowship  with  Christ  may  attend  me  1 

"  24.— I  see  what  a  strait  course  it  is  to  steer  between  legality 
and  libertinism.  I  have  been  for  some  time,  trying  to  walk 
more  closely  with  God  ;  and  now  I  find  the  sparks  of  self-right- 
eous pride  begin  to  kindle.  I  have  been  thinking  to-day  of 
Isaiah  ii.  11.  I  have  reason  to  be  humbled  for  having  so  little 
humility :  yet  I  think  I  have  tasted  a  sweetness  in  that  plan  of 
redemption  which  stains  the  pride  of  all  flesh. 


62  MEMOIRS      OF 

"  25.  (Lord's  day) — Felt  satisfaction  in  preaching,  and  in 
heaving  J.  F.  relate  his  experience.  O  that  I  may  feel  more  of 
the  haughtiness  of  my  heart  brought  down  ! 

«  26. — Dull  and  unaffected.  How  soon  do  I  sink  from  the 
spirit  of  the  gospel  !  I  have  need  of  thine  intercession,  O  Lord 
Jesus,  that  my  faith  fail  not. 

"  27.— O  how  difficult  is  my  situation !  Providence  seems 
to  go  against  me,  yet  I  am  in  a  strait  what  to  do.  Lord, 
and  what  shall  I  do  ?  O  that  thine  hand  might  be  with  me, 
and  that  thou  wouldst  keep  me  from  evil, that  it  may  not  grieve 
me  ! 

"28  —Have  found  my  heart  tenderly  affected  several  times, 
especially  to-night,  in  prayer  respecting  my  critical  situation. 
Oh  !  Providence,  how  intricate !  If  rough  roads  are  marked 
out  for  me,  may  my  shoes  be  iron  and  brass  !  I  found,  to-day, 
a  peculiar  sympathy  towards  poor  people  under  trying  provi- 
dences :  thinking  I  may  have  to  go  that  road.  *  Teach  me 
to  do  thy  will,  for  thou  art  my  God :  thy  spirit  is  good,  lead  me 
into  the  land  of  uprightness  !' 

"  29. — It  is  good  to  visit  the  poor,  that  we  may  know  their 
cases,  exercise  sympathy  and  charity  towards  them,  and  learn 
gratitude,  and  many  a  lesson  in  the  doctrine  of  providence. 

«  O  what  a  horrid  depth  of  pride  and  hypocrisy  do  I  find  in 
my  heart  I  Surely  I  am  unfit  for  any  company.  If  I  am  with  a 
sufierior,  how  will  my  heart  court  his  praise,  by  speaking  di- 
minutively of  myself,  not  forgetting  to  urge  the  disadvantages 
under  which  I  have  laboured,  to  excuse  my  inferiority  ;  and  here 
is  a  large  vacancy  left,  in  hope  he  will  fill  it  up  with  something 
like  this — *  Well,  you  must  have  made  good  improvement  of 
what  advantages  you  have  enjoyed.'  On  the  other  hand,  when 
in  company  with  an  inferior,  how  full  of  self  am  1 1  While  I 
seem  to  be  instructing  him  by  communicating  my  observations, 
how  prone  to  lose  sight  of  his  edification,  and  everything  but 
my  own  self  importance ;  aiming  more  to  discover  my  own 
knowledge,  than  to  increase  his  ! 

"  While  I  make  these  observations,  I  feel  the  truth  of  them. 
A  thought  has  been  suggested  to  write  them,  not  as  having 
been  working  in  my  heart  to-day,  but  only  as  discovered  to-day. 
Oh  horridly  deceitful  and  desperately  wicked  heart I  Surely  I 


MR.  FULLER.  63 

have  little  else  in  my  religious  exercises,  but  these  workings.  I 
am  afraid  of  being  deceived  at  last.  If  I  am  saved,  what  must 
the  Son  of  God  have  endured  ! 

«  July  1. — My  soul  has  been  dejected  to-day,  in  thinking  on 
the  plague  of  the  human  heart  j  but  I  have  been  sweetly 
refreshed  to-night,  by  a  hymn  of  Dr.  Watts,  (85th,  Second 
Book,)  *  Why  does  your  face,  ye  humble  souls,'  Sec.  This  was 
my  dear  Brother  Diver's  funeral  hymn.  I  had  a  sweet  time  in 
prayer  to  night.  Through  the  glass  of  my  depravity,  I  see,  O 
I  see  the  preciousness  of  that  blcod  which  flowed  on  Calvary  I 

0  that  the  ideas  I  have  had  to-night  were  written  indellibly  on 
my   heart!    But   alas!    one    hour   of  sin    will,  I  fear,  efface 
them  all. 

"  July  2,  1780. —  Surely  my  views  of  myself,  of  divine  love, 
and  of  the  blood  of  Christ,  never  were  clearer,  nor  yielded  me 
greater  satisfaction,  than  last  night  and  to-day.  I  retained  the 
savour  throughout  this  forenoon,  though  it  seems  abated  this 
afternoon.  Well,  it  has  been  a  time  of  refreshment  to  my  soul. 
But,  perhaps  I  may  have  somewhat  at  hand  to  balance  it.  O 
that  I  could  retain  the  ideas  I  have  had  to-day  !  I  thought  God 
was  Much  an  infinitely  lovely  being,  that  it  was  a  great  sin  not  to 
love  him  with  our  whole  hearts.  I  thought  one  perpetual  flame 
of  supreme  love  was  his  natural  due  from  every  intelligent 
creature,  and  that  the  want  of  such  love  merits  damnation.  And 

1  am  under  peculiar  obligations  to  love  him. 

<•  4.-Alas  !  how  strange  it  is  !  Those  things,  of  which,  a  day 
or  two  ago,  I  could  not  think  without  a  flood  of  tears,  I  now  feel 
make  little  impression  on  my  mind,  which  seems  in  a  slug- 
gish, jaded,  and  almost  sceptical  frame.  Ah !  how  soon  are 
those  ideas  effaced  !  When  shall  my  love  be  one  eternal  flame  ? 
I  fear  some  trial  is  at  hand.  O  may  the  Lord  keep  me  ! 

"  5. -I  found  some  pleasure  to-day,  in  preaching  from  Hos. 
xiii.  9.  «  O  Israel,  thou  hast  destroyed  thyself,  Sec.  I  love  to 
open  the  purity  and  extent  of  God's  righteous  law,  and  thereby 
the  depravity  of  human  nature.  Here  I  see  the  greatness  of 
grace. 

"  6.— Dull  and  unaffected.  I  sometimes  feel  a  spirit  of  idle 
sceptical  despair ;  as  it'  the  difficulties  that  attend  the  finding 
out  what  is  truth  and  duty  were  insurmountable.  O  Lord,  keep 


*  MEMOIRS    OF 

up  in  me  a  spirit  of  activity,  and  teach  me  to  know  and  do  thy 
will.     May  I  know  what  is  that  good,  perfect,  and  acceptable 
will  of  God  ! 
"  7,-Heaviness  of  heart  makes  me  stoop. 

O  time,  how  clogg'd  with  cares  ! 
How  pregnant  life  with  ills! 
Sin,  like  some  poisonous  spring,  my  cup 
With  dregs  of  sorrow  fills. 

But  why  do  I  cry  by  reason  of  my  affliction  ;  on  account  of 
mine  iniquities  do  these  things  come  upon  me.  O  Lord,  how 
justly  mightest  thou  open  ten  thousand  springs  of  wo,  ten  thou- 
sand flood-gates  of  sorrow,  and  let  them  all  in  upon  me.  Yet 
thy  mercies  are  new  every  morning :  it  is  of  the  Lord's  mercies 
that  I  am  not  consumed. 

«  10. — I  had  an  affecting  time  to-night,  in  going  a  road 
where,  about  twelve  or  thirteen  years  ago,  I  had  many  a  season 
of  sorrow  and  joy.  O  here  I  saw  myself  lost*  there  I  had  a  sight 
of  the  Saviour ;  /it-re  1  went  bowed  down  with  fear  and  despair, 
there  I  was  sweetly  cheered  with  a  view  of  the  faithfulness  of 
God  ;  in  this  place  I  mourned  my  desolate  state,  in  that  the 
state  of  the  church  lay  heavily  upon  me  ;  yonder  my  hopes 
respecting  the  church  were  excited,  by  thinking  ofPsa.  cxxii. 
1, 2,  8,  9.  O  what  strange  events  since  !  By  the  help  of  God  I 
have  continued  to  this  day.  When  my  soul  is  cast  down  within 
me,  may  I  '  remember  thee  from  the  land  of  Jordan,  and  of  the 
Hermonites  from  the  hill  Mizar  !* 

«  12. — O  wretched  man  that  I  am !  who  shall  deliver  me 
from  the  body  of  this  death  ?  O  mine  iniquity  !  Surely  I  had 
rather  die  than  feel  again  what  I  have  felt  of  the  odoius  risings 
of  this  unholy  heart.  O  the  wormwood  and  the  gall  1  Tremble 
my  soul,  at  the  rising  of  that  which  has  so  often  filled  thy  cup 
with  bitterness  ;  that  which  made  thy  Lord,  as  it  were,  shrink 
back  from  suffering !  O  may  the  remembrance  of  this  make 
thee  shrink  back  from  sinning  !  Surely  the  renewal  of  a  fresh 
conflict  withVold  corruptions  is  not  the  trial  I  feared  ?  Lead  me 
not  into  temptation,  but  deliver  me  from  evil,  O  Lord  ! 

«  15. — Alas!  with  what  can  I  go  forth  to-morrow?  My 
po^wers  are  all  shackled,  my  thoughts  contracted.  Yesterday 


MR.    FULLER. 

and  this  morning,  I  seemed  to  feel  some  savour ;  but  now,  all  is 
gone,  like  the  seed  by  the  way-side,  which  the  fowls  of  the  air 
devoured. 

"  Bless  the  Lord  !  To-night  I  have  felt  a  melting  sense  of 
the  heinous  nature  of  backsliding  from  the  Lord,  while  thinking 
on  Jer.  ii.  5.  31. — 33.  Bless  the  Lord,  O  my  soul,  and  all  that 
is  within  me  bless  his  holy  name.  He  maketh  me  to  renew  my 
strength  like  the  eagle,  dissolves  my  hardness,  disappoints  my 
fears,  and  touches  my  lips  as  with  a  live  coal  from  his  altar, 
Bless  the  Lord,  O  my  soul ! 

"July  16,  1780. — Last  night  I  thought  I  looked  upon  the 
approaching  Lord's  day  as  wearing  this  motto—'  Holiness  to  the 
Lord  ;'  but  to-day,  how  have  I  been  teased  with  vain  thoughts 
that  lodge  within  me.  Yet  I  was  helped  through  the  day,  and 
found  it  on  the  whole,  '  a  good  day,'  though  not  so  savoury  as  I 
could  have  wished. 

«  is. — Great  part  of  this  day  sadly  mispent:  but  have  had  a 
sweet  evening,  in  views  of  the  latter  day  glory,  from  reading 
Isaiah  xi.  xii.*  How  dark  the  day  in  which  I  live !  « Watchmen, 
what  of  the  night  ?  Watchmen,  what  of  the  night?' 

«  19. — I  have  this  day  had  a  proof  of  my  weakness.  Being; 
engaged  in  a  controversy,  I  found  my  spirit  too  much  stirred. 
O  how  unfit  am  I  for  controversy  !f 

«  20 — O  peace,  thou  inestimable  jewel !  The  Lord  grant  I 
may  never  enter  the  polemical  lists  If 

*  Little  did  he  then  think,  that  in  twelve  years  more,  he  should  assist  in 
the  first  formation  of  one  Missionary  Society,  which  for  twenty-three  years, 
should  call  fonh  all  his  energies,  as  their  Secretary  ;  and  which  would  send 
forth  to  the  Fast  Indies,  laborious  and  faithful  Missionaries,  who  (besides 
turning  many  from  the  worship  of  idols,  to  serve  the  living  and  the  true 
God,  and  to  wait  for  his  Son  from  heaven,  even  Jesus,  who  saveth  us  from 
the  wrath  to  come,)  would  also,  before  the  time  of  his  death  have  made 
great  progress  in  translating  the  Scriptures  into  twenty -seven  languages  ; 
•while  many  other  Societies  would  be  formed,  both  in  Britain  and  America, 
for  the  same  purpose  of  opening  the  door  of  faith  to  the  Gentiles.  R. 

f  As  little  also  did  he  imagine,  how^  much  of  this  sort  of  work  he  mustdo 
for  God  ;  who  intended  to  make  him  "  valiant  for  the  truth  on  the  earth," 
and  to  render  him  one  of  the  most  able,  temperate,  cautious,  and  useful 
controversial  writers  of  his  time  ;  a  strenuous  defender  of  evangelical 
truth,  against  False  Calvinism  and  Antinomianism,  and  likewise  against  th^ 
Arminians,  Socinians,  Deists,  Universalists,  and  Sandemanians.  R. 

9 


66  MEMOIRS    OF 

"  21. — Dejected,  through  worldly  and  church  concerns  ;  but 
had  some  relief,  to-night,  in  casting  all  my  care  upon  the  Lord, 
hoping  that  he  careth  for  me.  The  Lord  undertake  for  me  ! 
O  thou  that  managest  worlds  unknown,  without  one  disap- 
pointment, take  my  case  into  thy  hand,  and  fit  me  for  thy 
pleasure.  If  poverty  must  be  my  portion,  add  thereto  con- 
tentment. 

«  22. — Ah  I  how  heavily  do  I  drag  on  without  the  Lord  !  I 
can  neither  think,  nor  do  any  thing  to  purpose.  Lord,  help 
me  !  Sin  how  deceitful  1  While  we  may  obtain  an  apparent 
victory  over  one  sin,  we  may  be  insensibly  enslaved  to  another  : 
it  may  seem  to  flee  before  us,  like  the  men  of  Israel  before  the 
Benjamites,  and  yet  retain  an  ambushment,  to  fall  upon  our 
rear. 

"  27. — O  what  an  ocean  of  impurity  have  I  still  within  me  ! 
What  vain  desires  lodge  in  my  sinful  heart  !  Rich  must  be  the 
blood  that  can  atone,  infinitely  efficacious  the  grace  that  can 
purify,  and  inconceivable  the  love  that  can  remain  without  the 
shadow  of  turning,  amidst  all  this  vileness  !  O,  had  every 
creature  in  heaven  and  earth  joined  in  assuring  me  of  God's 
love  to  me,  surely  I  could  never  have  believed  it,  but  for  the 
assurances  grounded  on  his  own  word ! 

«  29. — Surely  I  do  not  sufficiently  study  the  cases  of  the 
people,  in  my  preaching  !  I  find,  by  conversation  to-day,  with 
one  seemingly  in  dying  circumstances,  that  but  little  of  my 
preaching  has  been  suited  to  her  case.  Visiting  the  sick,  and 
conversing  sometimes  even  with  the  unconverted  part  of  my 
hearers,  about  their  souls,  and  especially  with  the  godly,  would 
have  a  tendency  to  make  my  preaching  more  experimental. 

"Am  not  I  a  fool,  and  slow  of  heart  to  believe  ?  Notwith- 
standing all  the  Scripture  says  of  my  impotency,  all  the  expe- 
rience I  have  had  of  it.  and  all  my  settled  and  avowed  princi- 
ples, how  hard  is  it  for  me  to  believe  that  I  am  nothing  !  Ahl 
can  I  live  near  to  God,  set  or  keep  the  springs  of  godliness 
agoing  in  my  soul,  or  investigate  the  things  ot  God  to  any 
purpose?  No,  I  cannot  When  I  am  weak,  then,  and  then 
only,  am  I  strong.  When  Ephraim  spake  tremblingly,  he  ex- 
alted himself  in  Israel ;  but  when  he  offended  in  Baal,  he  died." 


MR.  FULLER.  67 

Omitting  the  frequent  repetition  of  such  exercises  as  are 
common  to  all  Christians,  I  shall  no  longer  follow  the  order  of 
time,  but  select  such  extracts  as  seem  most  important,  and 
Arrange  them  under  five  or  six  different  heads. 

(1.)          PERSONAL      RELIGION     EXEMPLIFIED,     IN     BOTH     THE 
PAINFUL      AND    THE    PLEASANT    EXERCISES    OF    HI*   MIND. 

I  begin  with  the  former  :  but  cautioning  my  readers  against 
being,  in  any  degree,  reconciled  to  the  workings  of  evil,  be- 
cause the  same  defects  and  defilements  have  been  acknowledged 
by  other  good  men.  My  soul  has  long  nauseated  the  thought  of 
taking  comfort  from  the  hope,  that  if  I  knew  all  of  the  best  of 
men,  I  should  find  they  were  nearly  as  poor  creatures  as  my- 
self. All  have  doubtless  to  maintain  a  daily  conflict ;  but  God 
forbid  I  should  please  myself  with  the  idea,  that  they  do  not 
more  frequently  get  the  victory  than  I.  I  never  wish  to  think 
otherwise,  than  that  thousands  of  saints  on  earth  have  lived 
nearer  to  God  than  I  ever  did :  though  I  am  sure  they  will  give 
all  the  praise  to  Him  that  worketh  in  them  to  will  and  to  do  of 
his  good  pleasure. 

I  have  no  wish,  however,  to  conceal  the  humiliating  com- 
plaints of  my  dear  Brother  ;  who  will  no  more  complain  again, 
as  he  did  in  the  following  extracts  : — 

"  Sept.  12, 1780. — Very  much  in  doubt,  respecting  my  being 
in  a  state  of  grace.  I  cannot  see  that  I  have,  or  ever  had, 
for  any  constancy,  such  an  idea  of  myself  as  must  be  implied 
in  true  humility.  The  Lord  have,  mercy  upon  me,  for  I  know 
not  how  it  is  with  me  !  One  thing  I  know — that,  if  I  be  a 
Christian  at  all,  real  Christianity  in  me  is  inexpressibly  small 
in  degree.  Oh  !  what  a  vast  distance  is  there,  between  what 
I  ought  to  be  and  what  I  am  !  If  I  am  a  saint  at  all,  I  know 
I  am  one  of  the  least  of  all  saints  :  I  mean,  that  the  workings 
of  real  grace  in  my  soul  are  so  feeble,  that  I  hardly  think  they 
can  be  feebler  in  any  true  Christian.  There  is  not  only  an  in- 
expressible distance  between  what  I  ought  to  be  and  what  I 
am ;  but  between  what  primitive  believers,  yea,  the  Scripture 
saints  in  all  ages,  seem  to  have  been,  and  what  I  am.  I  think, 


68  MEMOIRS    OF 

of  late  I  cannot,  in  prayer,  consider  myself  as  a  Christian,  but 
as  a  sinner,  casting  myself  at  Christ's  feet  for  mercy. 

"  Oct  1 1. — Surely  my  soul  is  in  general,  like  the  earth  when 
it  was  a  confused  chaos — <  without  form,  and  void,'  and  as 
when  «  darkness  covered  the  face  of  the  deep.'  I  think,  I  know 
but  little  of  the  power  of  religion.  Surely  I  am  a  novice  in 
experience  !  I  find  my  heart  somewhat  tender,  to-night ;  but 
feel  myself  full  of  darkness,  deadness,  and  pollution.  The 
Lord  have  mercy  upon  me  ! 

"  What  an  emptiness  in  all  earthly  enjoyments  !  Nothing 
therein  is  suited  to  my  immortal  thirst.  I  must  go  in  quest 
of  a  better  country,  even  an  heavenly  one :  there  I  shall  be 
satisfied. 

"  12.— O  what  a  world  is  this  ;  and  what  a  life  do  I  live!  I 
feel  myself  the  subject  of  much  evil.  Real  religion  seems  to 
be  something  at  which  I  aim,  but  cannot  attain.  I  may  say  of  it? 
as  Solomon  said  of  wisdom — I  thought  to  be  religious,  but  it 
was  far  from  me. 

"  Nov.  7. — Somewhat  affected,  in  thinking  on  the  annoyances 
of  the  spiritual  life  :  stupidity,  coldness,  confusion,  sin  of  all 
kinds— O  what  annoyances  ! 

"  Affected  also,  to-night,  with  the  goodness  of  God  to  me, 
as  a  God  of  providence.  I  enjoy  what  the  holy  apostles,  and 
what  even  the  King  of  the  universe,  when  an  inhabitant  here, 
did  not  enjoy yet,  O  how  ungrateful  1" 

But  he  records  also  many  mental  exercises  of  a  more  pleas-' 
ing  kind  :  such  are  the  following  :--- 

"Aug.  16,  1780. — I  had  pleasure  in  reading  Josh.  xxi.  43 — 
45.  and  inthinkingofPsa.xvi.il.  How  great  is  his  faithful- 
ness !  How  great  will  be  our  joy  to  see  every  promise  fulfilled  1 
Thought  I  saw  a  divine  beauty  in  doing  as  Enoch  did,  who 
<  walked  with  God.'  O  that  I  may,  till  God  shall  take  me  ! 

*'  Sept.  22. — I  was  somewhat  moved,  this  morning,  in  think- 
ing of  the  mercy  of  God — how  it  was  a  hedge  about  us,  pre- 
serving us  from  the  ravages  of  the  very  beasts  and  birds ;  nay, 
from  the  very  stones.  The  whole  creation  groans  and  suffers 
through  us,  and  would  retaliate  the  injuries  we  have  done 
them,  were  not  a  covenant  made,  on  our  behalf,  with  them* 
See  Hos.  ii.  18.  Job  v.  13. 


MR.    FULLER.  G9 

«  Sept.  23,  1780. — [In  the  morning  of  this  clay,  he  made  the 
heaviest  complaints  of  dulness,  and  want  of  spiritual  life  and 
savour ;  fearing,  it  must  render  his  ministry  utterly  useless  :  yet 
in  the  evening  he  adds — ]  O  blessed  be  God,  he  has  appeared 
once  again.  To-night,  while  I  prayed  to  him,  how  sweet  was 
Col.  i.  19.  to  me.  That  which  has  pleased  the  Father  pleases 
me.  I  am  glad  that  all  fulness  dwells  in  Him.  It  is  not  fit  it 
should  dwell  in  me,  nor  that  I  should  have  the  keeping  of  my 
own  stock. 

Expand  thy  powers,  enlarge  thy  breast ; 
For  boundless  fulness  dwells  in  Christ. 

O  for  some  heavenly  clue,  to  guide  me  to  the  fulness  of  Christ  1 

0  for  an  overcoming  faith  1 

"  Oct.  3. — [He  notices  his  spiritual  enjoyment,  under  a  ser- 
mon, at  the  Minister's  Meeting  at  Kettering,  on  Prov.  xvii.  3. 
which  was  afterwards  printed,  at  his  desire  and  that  of  the  other 
ministers  present,  entitled,  God's  Experimental  Probation  of 
Intelligent  Agents. ,] 

"  8.  (Lord's  day.) — Bless  the  Lord,  I  have  had  a  better  day, 
to-day,  than  for  some  time.  The  *  great  things  God  hath  done 
for  us*  have  been  sweet  things  to  me. 

«  14 — Solemn  thoughts,  on  the  holiness,  justness,  and 
goodness  of  the  law  of  God.  Desirous  of  God's  presence 
to-morrow. 

"  23.— I  was  strengthened  in  reflecting  on  what  I  delivered 
last  night,  from  Psa.  xxix.  2. — '  Give  to  the  Lord  the  glory  due 
to  his  name.'  Jude  15.  and  1  Cor.  xvi.  22.  were  somewhat  to 
me,  on  the  same  subject. 

«  30. — Had  some  view,  to-night,  of  the  hardships  of  poverty. 
What  mercies  do  I  enjoy  ;  yet  how  ungrateful  am  I  !  What  a 
world  of  self-sufficiency  is  there  in  our  hearts  !  Whence  springs 
our  desire  of  riches,  dominion,  Sec.  but  from  an  idea  of  our 
sufficiency  to  manage  each  as  we  ought  ?  At  least,  this  is  im- 
plied in  those  desires.  Were  we  truly  emptied  of  self-suf- 
ficiency, we  should  be,  like  Agur,  afraid  of  these. 

"  Nov.  9. — Found  an  heart  to  pray,  to- clay-- -Into  thine  hands, 

1  commit  my    spirit.- — Enlighten  my    judgment,    guide  my 
choice,  direct  my  conscience,  and  keep  it  tender.    Found  my 


?0  MEMOIRS    OF 

heart  disposed  to  ask  connsel  of  God,  and  leave  him  to  guide 
me  in  his  own  way. 

«  10. — O  that  I  might  be  guided  some  way !  My  heart  is 
much  perplexed,  but  found  liberty  in  prayer.  Towards  night, 
was  affected  in  reading  the  23d  and  24th  chapters  of  Jeremiah, 
and  earnest  in  prayer. 

"March  3,  1781. — A  very  affecting  time,  in  thinking  on 
the  growth  of  a  Christian— that  those  who  grow  most  in  graces 
are  far  from  thinking  themselves  to  be  eminent  Christians. 

"  26.— My  soul  is  discouraged,  because  of  the  way.  I  am 
full  of  confusion :  see  thou  mine  affliction  !  O  that  I  knew  what 
was  my  duty  !  Let  me  not  err  for  want  of  knowledge,  and  pierce 
myself  through  with  many  sorrows  !  I  think  my  soul  is  like  the 
body  of  an  aged  man  :  even  a  grasshopper  become^  a  burden  ! 
I  seem  unable  to  endure  any  thing  more  !  I  had  an  affecting 
time  in  prayer  on  these  subjects.  1  thought,  what  an  immense 
fulness  of  light  and  happiness  dwelt  in  God  ;  how  easily  could 
he  inform  my  mind,  and  comfort  my  heart :  what  fulness  in 
the  Holy  Scriptures,  enough  to  furnish  the  man  of  God  thor- 
oughly, for  every  good  work.  All  I  want  is  to  find  something 
that  suits  my  case. 

«  29. — Thoughts  on  the  advocateship  of  Christ,  from  John 
xvi.  7.  and  xiv.  2.  have  been  precious  to  me :  and  of  his  pro- 
phetic office,  from  Matt.  xvii.  5.  *  This  is  my  beloved  Son— - 
hear  him.' 

"What  a  wonder  am  I  to  myself!  Compared  with  what  I 
deserve  to  be,  how  happy  my  condition  ;  compared  with  what 
I  desire  to  be,  how  miserable  ! 

«  30.— Much  melancholy  gloom  to-day  ;  yet  some  melting 
thoughts  on  the  astonishing  profusion  of  divine  love.  Several 
passages  seemed  sweet  to  me— -l  God  is  willing  the  heirs  of 
promise  should  have  strong  consolation. — If  any  one  sin,  we 
have  an  Advocate  with  the  Father. — Saul,  Saul,  why  persecutes! 
thou  me  ? — What  have  I  clone  to  thee,  O  my  people  ?  wherein 
have  I  wearied  thee  ?  testify  against  me.'* 

"  June  29,  1781. — The  conduct  and  condition  of  some  wicked 
people  make  me  bless  God,  to-night,  for  conscious  integrity. 
Christ's  yoke  is  truly  easy.    Purity  carries  its  own  reward  with 
*  Heb.  vi.  17.    1  John  ii.  1.    Acts  ix.  4.    Micah  vi.  3, 


MR.   FULLER.  1 

ft.  O  the  guilt,  the  misery,  that  results  from  a  submission  to 
the  yoke  of  Satan  !  Well — it  is  by  the  grace  of  God  1  am 
what  I  am  :•  nor  is  any  sin  so  black  or  so  detestable,  but  I  am 
liable  to  fall  into  it.  Lord,  keep  me  ! 

"  Aug.  11. — Have  been  ravished,  as  it  were,  to-day,  in  read- 
ing the  account  of  the  council  held  by  the  apostles  and  elders, 
Acts  xv.  O  the  beauty  and  simplicity  of  primitive  Chris- 
tianity ! 

"  12. — Had  a  sweet  forenoon,  fn  thinking  on  the  mediation 
of  Christ,  and  in  preaching  upon  that  subject,  from  Ephes. 
ii.  13. 

«  16.— Serious,  and  somewhat  pleasant.  Wrote  some 
thoughts  on  the  holy  angels  taking  pleasure  in  looking  into 
our  redemption. 

"  27. — I  had  pleasure  in  conversing  on  Rom.  "viii.  S3.  Me- 
thought,  it  indicated  the  fulness  of  the  Redeemer's  righteous- 
ness ;  partly,  from  the  character  of  the  justified  ;  and,  partly, 
from  the  character  of  the  justifier — God,  the  all-scrutinizing, 
impartial  Judge. 

"  Sept  2 — A  sweet  savour  of  spirit,  at  night,  in  talking  with 
Brother  West,  on  God's  justice  and  faithfulness,  as  discovered 
in  the  plan  of  redemption  ;  and  in  repeating  to  him  the  sub- 
stance of  the  afternoon's  discourse,  on  Rom.  viii.  33,  34. 

«  15.— -What  a  difference  between  the  book  which  I  keep) 
and  that  which  God  keeps  !  O  what  an  awful,  black  diary 
could  he  produce  against  me  in  judgment ! 

«  29. — I  seem  very  desirous  to  go  more  than  I  have  done 
in  a  way  of  dependence  on  the  Lord.  In  riding  to  Littleport, 
had  much  solemn  exercise  of  mind,  on  almighty  love — «  How- 
shall  I  put  thee  among  the  children  ?' 

"  Oct.  6 — Very  heavy  in  heart.  Be  not  far  off,  O  Lord,  for 
trouble  is  near  !  Exceedingly  melted,  in  thinking  on  Hos.  vi, 
4.  4  O  Ephraim,  what  shall  i  do  unto  thee  ?' 

"  Nov.  15. — This  morning,  had  some  interesting  conversation 
with  my  wife,  on  little  faith,  great  depravity,  a  great  Saviour,, 
and  genuine  love  to  God,  from  a  spiritual  discernment  of  his 
glory,  and  delight  in  the  character  of  the  true  God. 

"  Dec.  20. — Religion  appeared  to  me  to  be  full  of  greatness, 
A  great  God,  possessed  of  great  excellencies,  whence  arise 


72  MEMOIRS    OF 

great  obligations  :  hence  the  great  evil  of  sin  ;  and  hence  the 
need  of  a  Saviour,  and  a  great  one.  All  in  religion  is  great. 
O  that  I  had  a  great  sense  of  the  importance  of  divine  things  ! 
Lord,  increase  my  faith  ! 

«  28. — Thought,  to-day,  on  account  of  family  circumstances) 
•what  a  matter  of  importance  is  the  birth  of  a  child.  Here  its 
life  begins  ;  but  where  shall  it  end  ?  Ah  !  no  end  to  its  exist- 
ence !  But,  O  that  God  would  accept  of  my  new-born  child, 
and  let  its  end  be  'to  glorify  God,  and  enjoy  him  for  ever  1* 

«  Jan.  9,  1782 — Thought,  what  an  awful  day  will  that  be, 
when  God  searches  Jerusalem,  as  with  candles  !  O  how  many 
will  then  appear  to  have  been  religious  through  custom,  shame? 
pride,  or  something  short  of  the  fear  of  God  !  Alas  !  how 
many  have  proved  hypocrites,  by  the  breaking  up  of  a  church  ! 
When  the  restraints  of  church-communion  have  been  taken  off 
them,  how  have  they  turned  out !  O  to  walk  as  in  the  sight  of 
God  !  That  is  a  spirit  which  would  teach  us  to  be  holy,  though 
there  were  no  creature  upon  earth  to  watch  us.' 

(2.)       PASSAGES    BELATING    CHIEFLY    TO    HIS     WORK     AS     A 
MINISTER    AND    PASTOR. 

•"Aug.  5,  1780. — Alas!  how  am  I  locked  up!  What  an 
ocean  of  matter  in  the  word  of  God,  yet  I  can  come  at  nothing  1 
It  seems  to  me  like  a  frozen  ocean,  locked  up  from  me.  Oh 
my  heart,  how  heavy  ! 

«  6. — Alas  how  disconsolate,  this  morning  !  How  foolish  am 
I,  to  lay  God  under  a  necessity  (if  I  may  use  such  an  expres- 
sion) of  leaving  me  to  myself,  to  let  me  and  others  see  that  I 
am  nothing. 

"  Aug.  13,  1780.  (Lord's  day.) — Had  a  poor,  dull  forenoon  ; 
but  was  disheartened  in  the  afternoon,  through  the  inattention 
and  drowsiness  of  the  people.  However,  I  was  much  affected> 
towards  the  conclusion,  in  thinking  of  the  importance  of  the. 
subject,  (the  sufferings  of  Christ,)  and  the  little  attention  that 
was  paid  to  it.  I  had  a  sweet  time  at  the  ordinance,  in  think- 
ing on  these  words :  '  We  shall  see  him  as  he  is.' 

"  Sept.  1 — Sorrow  and  savour,  in  thinking  on  the  decline  of 
religion,  from  Lam.  v.  16,  17. 


MR.  FULLER,  73 

"  3. — Had  a  good  day,  in  preaching  from  the  above,  and  from 
Lam.  iii.  40,  41.  O  that  God  might  write  the  things  delivered 
to-day,  in  indelible  characters,  on  all  our  hearts  1  Found  an 
heart  to  pray  for  the  conversion  of  the  congregation. 

"  5. — I  longed,  in  prayer  to-night,  to  be  more  useful.  O  that 
God  would  do  somewhat  by  me !  Nor  is  this,  I  trust,  from 
ambition  ;  bin  from  a  pure  desire  of  working  tor  God,  and  the 
benefit  of  my  fellow-sinners. 

"  10. — Earnest  in  prayer  with  God,  this  afternoon.  Hum- 
bled for  our  little  love  :  yet  found  such  desire,  that,  could  I  ob- 
tain iny  wish,  the  brightest  seraph  should  not  outvie  me  in  iove 
to  my  Lord.  I  saw.  plainly,  that  my  salvation  must  be,  from 
first  to  last,  of  free  grace. 

"  Low,  and  much  discouraged  in  preaching :  thought  I  must 
cease  from  preaching  ere  long. 

"  22. — Much  affected,  to-day,  in  talking  with  a  friend  who  had 
lately  fallen  into  sin,  but  is,  I  hope,  deeply  penitent.  He  told 
me,  that  when  coming  home,  he  feared  to  go  through  a  pasture 
where  some  cattle  were  feeding,  lest,  like  the  disobedient 
prophet,  he  should  be  slain  for  his  sin.  Also,  when  coming  to 
meeting  on  the  Lord's  day,  it  thundered  dreadfully,  which  he 
thought  was  all  on  his  account,  and  that  he  should  be  struck 
dead  ;  but  he  felt  this  turn  of  mind — <  If  he  slay  me,  let  him 
slay  me,  and  get  himself  a  great  name,  in  making  me,  for  my 
sin,  a  monument  of  his  displeasure.' 

'*  Oct.  22. — This  day  we  began  our  evening  lectures.  Having 
had  a  poor  forenoon,  and  a  worse  afternoon,  my  heart  was  much 
dejected  ;  supposing,  my  preaching  answered  no  good  end. 
Was  in  some  doubt,  whether  I  should  preach  any  lectures  at 
all :  went  to  the  Lord,  laid  the  case  before  him,  and  had  some 
freedom  in  pleading  that  he  would  bless  me.  Preached,  this 
evening,  from  Rom.  vii.  12.  and  had  a  very  affecting  time.  I 
love  to  vindicate  his  equity,  and  <  justify  the  ways  of  God  to 
man.' 

«  24 — Observed  our  proneness  to  think  of  ourselves  as  others 
speak  of  us.  For  example,  if  I  am  praised  at  any  particular 
place  as  a  preacher,  how  prone  am  I,  at  that  place  to  keep 
pace  with  their  esteem,  if  not  to  outgo  it,  in  the  estimation  of 

myself  1  On  the  other  hand,  at  such  places  where  I  have  felt 
10 


74  MEMOIRS    OF 

myself  embarrassed,  how  prone  to  despair,  and  so  to  take  no  de« 
light  in  the  work  1  O  how  much  of  self  have  I  in  me  !  how  far 
from  that  excellent  character,  of  being  dead  to  the  smiles  and 
frowns  of  men  ! 

"  Somewhat  concerned,  to-day,  about  the  state  of  the  church, 
and  my  own  state.  Surely  I  do  not  pray  to  the  Lord  enough  ', 
Surely  I  am  too  careless  about  matters  of  so  great  concern  1 

"  Nov.  1  l.-A  gloomy  day.  The  study,  a  prison  ;  my  heart 
as  hard  as  the  bars  of  a  castle  ;  and  my  mind  exceedingly  dull 
and  dark. 

"  12.  (Lord's  day.) — Some  sweet  savour  this  morning,  in 
thinking  on  Ezek.  xxxiv.  16.  The  mercy  of  Christ  our  shep- 
herd, to  his  wandering  sheep.  Had  a  pretty  good  day  in  preach- 
ing on  the  subject. 

"  Feb.  3,  1781. — I  think  I  have  never  yet  entered  into  the 
true  idea  of  the  work  of  the  ministry.  If  I  had,  surely  I  should 
be  like  Aaron,  running  between  the  dead  and  the  living.  I  think 
I  am  by  the  ministry,  as  I  was  by  my  life  as  a  Christian,  before 
I  read  Edwards  on  the  Affections.  I  had  never  entered  into  the 
spirit  of  a  great  many  important  things.  O  for  some  such  pen- 
etrating, edifying  writer  on  this  subject !  or,  O  rather  that  the 
Holy  Spirit  would  open  my  eyes,  and  let  me  see  into  the  things 
that  I  have  never  yet  seen. 

"  4.  (Lord's  day.)-Some  pleasure  in  preaching  from  Rev.  ii. 
23.  and  Psa.  xxxiv.  18  but  I  fear  my  ministry  will  never  be  of 
much  use.  I  fear  a  dead  weight  of  carnal-mindedness  and  stu- 
por in  me  will  always  prove  an  obstruction  to  usefulness, 

«  5.— -A  pulpit  seems  an  awful  place.  An  opportunity  for 
addressing  a  company  of  immortals  on  their  eternal  interests — O 
how  important  I  We  preach  for  eternity.  We,  in  a  sense  are 
set  for  the  rising  and  falling  of  many  in  Israel.  And  our  own 
rise  or  fall  is  equally  therein  involved. 

"  Feb.  8,  1781.-O  would  the  Lord  the  Spirit  lead  me  into  the 
nature  and  importance  of  the  work  of  the  ministry  !  Reading 
a  wise  and  spiritual  author  might  be  of  use :  yet,  could  I,  by 
divine  assistance,  but  penetrate  the  work  myself,  it  would  sink 
deeper,  and  be  more  durable. 

"  1 3.-I  think,  when  we  are  in  company,  and  address  ourselves 
to  any  one  in  particular,  it  too  often  happens,  that  the  applause 


MR.    FULLER.  73 

•f  the  company,  rather  than  the  edification  of  the  person  or 
ourselves,  is  the  object.  Hence,  witticisms,  and  such  sayings 
as  sting  the  party  addressed,  are  introduced.  Pride,  how  per- 
nicious ! 

"March  11.  (Lord's  day .)-!  had  an  affecting  day,  especially 
in  singing  and  prayer.  The  revival  of  nature  at  this  season  of 
the  year,  seemed  to  kindle  an  earnest  desire  for  the  revival  of  re- 
ligion. 

"  July  1.— -A  fervent  day  in  prayer,  and  in  preaching  from 
Jsai.  liii.  6.  and  Eccles.  viil  1 1.  the  latter  occasioned  by  reading 
in  the  public  papers  of  a  wretched  man,  (I  think  it  was  at  Chat- 
ham,) who  had  been  swearing  for  a  wager,  that  was*  stricken 
speechless,  and  died  in  three  hours. 

"Jan.  3,  1782.-Tl.is  afternoon  being  on  a  visit,  as  I  stepped 
aside  from  the  company,  I  overheard  one  of  them  saying,4 1  IOVQ 
Mr.  Fuller's  company,  it  is  so  diverting  /  This  expression 
moved  me  much.  O  wretch  that  I  am  1  Is  this  to  have  my 
speech  seasoned  with  grace  !  O  Lord  forgive  me !  Some  hum- 
bling thoughts  to-night,  for  the  above,  in  prayer. 

"4.— Very  tender  this  morning  in  remembering  the  above 
circumstance.  Lord  make  me  more  spiritual  in  time  to  come  !" 

(3.)       EXTRACTS    RELATIVE     TO    PERSONAL    OR    FAMILY 
AFFLICTION. 

"  Nov.  14,  1780 — Being  on  a  journey,  I  was  taken  very  ill 
by  the  way  :  thought  how  sweet  heaven  would  t>e  to  the  weary, 
distressed  traveller. 

«  17—25 — Having  been  under  heavy  affliction  for  above  a 
week,  and  incapable  of  writing,  I  only  observe,  that  some  days 
I  seemed  to  feel  no  material  workings  of  sin,  nor  exercises  of 
grace :  sometimes  I  felt  worse.  One  day  I  dreamed  that  I  was 
dead  :  waking,  and  finding  it  but  a  dream,  I  trembled  at  the 
thought  of  what  would  become  of  such  a  sinful  creature,  were 
this  dream  realized !  Here  I  stopped,  painfully  stopped :  at 
length  I  answered,  *Lord,  I  have  hoped  in  thy  salvation/ 
Here  I  wept,  and  thought  I  would  hope  still.  O  that  it  may  not. 
be  in  vain  I 


76 


MEMOIRS    OF 


"  Dec.  26—29. — Afflictions  having  returned,  I  think  I  might 
make  too  light  of  the  former.  This,  though  lighter  on  the  body, 
yet  seems  heavier  on  the  mind.  I  am  sometimes  pressed  with 
guilt  for  my  lightness  under  the  other:  sometimes  ready  to  sink 
in  a  kind  of  despondency,  almost  like  that  of  Jonah — that  it  will 
be  «  better  for  me  to  die  than  to  live.' 

"  Jan.  1 ,  1781 . — Often  dejected  under  my  affliction ;  yet  have 
felt  my  soul  going  out  after  the  Lord,  deprecating  a  life  of  dis- 
tance from  him. 

"  Alas  !  my  affliction,  instead  of  taking  away  sin,  seems  to  be 
attended  with  new  risings  of  evil.  O  wretched  man  that  I  am  ! 
Surely  it  does  not  seem  consistent,  that  an  heart  so  full  of 
stupidity  and  unholiness  as  mine,  and  in  so  constant  a  manner 
too,  can  be  the  residence  of  the  Holy  Spirit  of  God  !  Surely 
those  great  things  said  to  be  done  in  the  hearts  of  the  godly  are 
not  done  in  me  1  Yet  I  have  found  some  outgoings  of  soul  to 
God,  after  keeping  and  quickening  grace.  <  Keep  back  thy 
servant  fiom  presumptuous  sins,'  &c.  4  O  Lord,  I  beseech  thee> 
deliver  my  soul !' ' 

Towards  the  close  of  January,  1781,  he  was  greatly  affected 
with  the  illness  and  death  of  his  father. 

•'  Jan.  22. — Visited  my  father  to-day,  who  I  fear  will  die. 
Found  a  strong  inclination  to  converse  with  him  concerning  his 
soul,  but  did  not. 

««  24 — To-day  visited  my  father  again,  but  he  seems  to  have 
no  thought  of  death.  I  found  my  heart  much  drawn  out  to-night? 
to  pray  for  him. 

«  Jan.  26,  1781. — Much  affected  to-day  for  my  dear  father. 
Oh  his  immortal  soul !  How  can  I  bear  to  bury  him  uncon- 
verted ?  Father,  if  it  be  possible,  let  this  cup  pass  from  me  !  I 
have  had  many  earnest  outgoings  of  soul  for  him,  and  some 
little  conversation  with  him.  Son.  l  Have  you  any  outgoings 
of  soul  father,  to  the  Lord  ?'  Father.  l  Yes,  my  dear,  I  have.* 
Son*  *  Well,  father,  the  Lord  is  rich  in  mercy  to  all  that  call 
upon  him.  This  is  great  encouragement.'  Father.  *  Yes,  my 
child,  so  it  is  ;  and  I  know  if  I  be  saved,  it  must  be  by  him  alone.  I 
have  nothing  to  recommend  me  to  his  favour  .  .  .  but  my 
Slopes  are  very  small* 


MR*    FULLER, 


rr 


«  27. — Father,  if  it  be  possible,  let  this  cup  pass  from  me  1 
Give  me  some  good  hopes  of  the  welfare  of  his  soul  1  then 
I  could  almost  be  willing  to  part  with  him.  This  would  be 
letting  the  cup  pass  from  me.  4  But,  O  the  soul,  that  never 
dies,*  &c.  The  woman  of  Canaan  made  her  daughter's  case 
her  own,  and  cried,  l  Lord  help  me  !'  Surely  I  may  do  likewise 
by  my  father. 

"  28.  (Lord's  day  ) — Affected  with  nothing  else,  to-day,  but 
the  thoughts  of  my  father's  death.  This  I  know  not  how  to 
bear  !  Preached,  somehow,  from  Job  xiv.  1.  and  Heb.  ii.  14. 

"  29. — Oh  !  he  is  gone  I  he  is  gone  !  for  ever  gone  ! 

His  course  is  finished  now,  his  race  is  o'er, 

The  place  which  knew  him  knows  him  now  no  more  ; 

The  tree  is  fall'n,  and  ever  there  must  lie, 

To  endless  ages  of  eternity  1" 

He  seems,  for  some  days  following,  to  have  been  absorbed  in 
reflections  upon  death,  and  mentions  having  buried  three  of  his 
own  children  in  less  than  three  years  before  this  time. 

(4.)  HIS  SYMPATHY  EXCITED  BY  THE  AFFLICTIONS  AND  DEATH 
OF    OTHERS. 

Many  references  are  made  repeatedly  to  the  loss  of  his  dearly 
beloved  friend,  Mr.  Joseph  Diver. 

«  June  20,  1780.— Wo  is  me,  that  I  sojourn  in  Meshech  ! 

0  my  dear  Brother  Diver  I  Six  months  ago,  like  an  HUT,  he 
supported  my  hands;  but  now  he  is  gone,  and  they  sink  !  O  my 
dear  sister  K. !  Twelve  months  ago,  I  witnessed  thy  patience  and 
piety ;  but,  ripe  for  glory,  thou  must  stay  here  no  longer :  while 

1  am  yet  in  the  chains  of  mortality,  in  a  world  of  darkness  and 
misery.     May  I   follow  you,  who  through  faith   and   patience 
inherit  the  promises  1  I  bless  the  Lord  for  a  solemn  favour  en- 
joyed, in  some  good  measure,  this  day.     O  that  my  heart  could 
be  oftener  engaged  in  meditation  on  the  things  of  God  I  O  how 
happy  to  be  so! 

"July  11. — O  my  dear  Brother  Diver  1  very  pleasant  hast 
thou  been  to  me.  I  am  distressed  for  the  loss  of  thee  I  Earth 
seems  a  lonely.place  without  thee  I  But  Lord,  thy  presence 


to  MEMOIRS    OF 

will  more  than  make  amends  for  his  absence.  Give  me  that,  or 
I  sink !  The  cares  of  the  world  have  engrossed  my  attention 
this  afternoon  ;  but  the  cares  of  the  church  return  this  evening. 
O  now  I  feel  the  loss  of  my  dear  Brother  Diver  ! 

<4  17.-O  my  dear  Brother  Diver  !  When  shall  we  recover 
our  loss  in  losing  you  ?  What  disorders  have  we  now  in  the 
church  !  Our  hands,  heads,  and  hearts,  how  full  !  O  my  father, 
my  father,  the  chariot  of  Israel,  and  the  horsemen  thereof!  Like 
Jeremiah  for  Josiah,  surely  I  cannot  refrain  from  pouring  out 
my  heart  in  doleful  lamentations  !  Methinks,  I  shall  go  all  my 
days  at  times,  in  the  bitterness  of  my  soul.  Ah  !  we  took  sweet 
counsel  together,  and  walked  together  to  the  house  ot  God  ; 
but  all  is  over  !  As  he  said  on  his  dying  bed,  *  I  have  done  with 
that  life.'  Alas  !  he  has  done  his  all  with  us  I" 

Here  he  inserts  a  copy  of  verses,  very  tender  and  pathetic, 
but  inferior,  as  to  poetical  correctness,  to  some  which  he  wrote 
on  subsequent  occasions.  I  therefore  only  insert  the  concluding 
stanza : — 

"  9  O  righteous  Lord,  thy  sovereignty  we  own  ; 
His  life,  and  all  our  lives,  to  thee  resign  ; 
What  if  to  chasten  us,  and  him  to  crown, 
Thou  hast  decreed—our  wills  subdue  to  thine. 

«  Ah  !  wo  is  me  ;  I  am  a  man  of  unclean  lips,  and  I  dwell 
in  the  midst  of  a  people  of  unclean  lips  I  My  heart  is  ready  to 
sink  beneath  its  load  !  More  bad  conduct  among  my  brethren. 
The  Lord  have  mercy  on  them  and  me !  Surely  I  labour  in 
vain,  and  spend  my  strength  for  nought.  All  my  warnings, 
instructions,  reproofs,  &c.  whether  in  or  out  of  the  pulpit,  seem 
to  have  none  effect." 

(5.)    OBSERVATIONS    ON    BOOKS,  AND    ON    THEOLOGICAL  SUB- 
JECTS. 

«  March  29,  1780.-I  have  been  reading,  in  Josefihus,  the 
bloody  reign  of  Herod.  What  pain  is  it  to  read  those  narrations 
where  truth  and  virtue  fell  to  the  ground,  and  were  finally  over- 
come. Methinks  it  helps  to  enhance  the  idea  of  heaven,  that 
this  is  a  world  were  these  shall  everlastingly  triumph. 

"  Aug.  1 6.— Some  savour  to-day,  in  reading  Edwards  on  the 
Affections. 


MR.    FULLER.  79 

•> 

«  30.— I  found  my  soul  drawn  out  in  love  to  poor  souls,  while 
reading  Millar's  account  of  Elliot's  labours  among  the  North 
American  Indians,  and  their  effect  on  those  poor  barbarous 
savages.  I  found  also  a  suspicion,  that  we  shackle  ourselves 
too  much  in  our  addresses  to  sinners ;  that  we  have  bewildered 
and  lost  ourselves,  by  taking  the  decrees  of  God  as  rules  of 
action.  Surely  Peter  and  Paul  never  felt  such  scruples  in  their 
addresses,  as  we  do.  They  addressed  their  hearers  as  mew— - 
fallen  men ;  as  we  should  warn  and  admonish  persons  who  were 
blind,  and  on  the  brink  of  some  dreadful  precipice.  Their 
work  seemed  plain  before  them.  O  that  mine  might  be  so  be- 
fore me!" 

Here  we  see  the  first  workings  of  compassionate  feelings  of 
heart,  which  at  length,  led  him  so  happily  out  of  the  entangle- 
ments of  False  Calvinism,  and  excited  him  to  such  exertions 
for  the  salvation  of  the  heathen. 

"Sept.  11. — Much  affected  this  morning  in  reading  Ed- 
wards's  thoughts  on  evangelical  humility,  in  his  Treatise  on  the 
Affections.  Surely  there  are  many  that  will  be  found  wanting 
in  the  great  day.  *  Lord,  is  it  I  ?' 

u  Oct  30.— I  cannot  help  lamenting  in  reading  in  Mosheim's 
Church  History,  how  soon,  and  how  much  was  the  religion  of 
Jesus  corrupted  from  its  primitive  simplicity  I 

"  Nov.  4.-How  apt  are  we  to  think  ourselves  rather  pitiable 
than  blameable,  for  having  such  remains  of  corruption  in  us  ! 
Perhaps  one  cause  of  this  may  be  our  viewing  sin  in  us  as  an 
army,  or  something  we  have  to  ofifiose  and  firess  through.  These 
ideas  are  good,  provided  we  remember,  that  they  arejigurati-ve, 
and  that  this  army  is  nothing  external,  but  internal;  and  that 
the  opposition  is  not  like  that  wherein  the  combatant's  inclination 
is  all  one  way,  but  he  finds  himself  wholly  overcome,  against  his 
will  ;  were  this  the  case,  we  should  be  wholly  fiitiable.  But  it 
is  as  if  a  debtor  were  going  to  pay  his  creditor ;  but,  by  the  way, 
found  great  struggles,  whether  he  should  go  forward,  and  behave 
like  an  honest  man,  or  whether  he  should  turn  aside,  and  spend 
his  money  in  riot  and  luxury.  In  this  case,  he  certainly  ought 
to  have  had  no  struggle,  nor  to  have  made  a  moment's  scruple. 
Neither  ought  we  to  m«*ke  a  moment's  scruple  about  loving  the 


80  MEMOIRS    OF 

Lord  with  all  our  hearts,  and  refraining  wholly  from  sinning 
against  him.  We  may,  indeed,  be  pitiable  with  respect  to  each 
Other;  but,  in  the  sight  of  God,  we  are  wholly  blameable. 

"  A  hard  heart  is  a  symptom  of  distance  between  God  and  us. 
As  the  Lord  is  nigh  to  those  who  are  of  a  broken  heart,  so  he  is 
far  from  those  who  are  of  a  hard  heart. 

«  June  23,  1781.  Some  delight  in  reading  Mosheim's  History 
of  the  Reformation.  Several  times  in  the  day,  had  pleasant  feel- 
ings, on  dying  in  the  Lord. 

«  26. — Have  been  reading  Mosheim's  History,  Cent.  xiii.  and 
xiv.  to  day.  Really  I  am  sick  in  reading  so  much  about  monks, 
mendicant  friars,  Sec.  I  could  have  wished  the  history  had  more 
answered  to  its  title — a  history  of  the  church  ;  but  it  seems  little 
else  than  a  history  of  locusts. 

i«  28.— Some  sacred  delight,  in  reading  more  of  Musheim  on 
the  coming  forth  of  those  champions  of  the  Reformation — Lu- 
ther, Melancthon,  Zuinglius,  Calvin,  &c.  into  the  field.  I  think 
I  feel  their  generous  fervour  in  the  cause  of  God  and  truth. 
How  were  the  arms  of  their  hands  made  strong  by  the  mighty 
God  of  Jacob  I 

«  July  3. — I  was  taken  up,  to-day,  in  reading  Mosheim,  whose 
partial  account  of  the  English  Baptists  would  lead  me  to  in- 
dulge a  better  opinion  of  various  sects,  who  have  been  deemed 
heretics. 

«  Was  very  ill  to-night ;  but  felt  tender-hearted  and  earnest 
jn  prayer. 

"  Aug.  16,  1781. — In  reading  Dr.  Owen,  to-day,  the  end  of 
predestination  seemed  sweet  to  me ;  namely,  conformity  to  the 
image  of  God's  dear  Son. 

"  Nov.  14. — My  mind  to-day,  seems  bewildered.  The  lives 
of  some  poets  have  taken  up  my  thoughts.  The  grandeur  and 
stretch  of  thought  in  their  writings  seems  rather  to  flatten  my 
mind  towards  the  simple  truths  of  Christianity.  But  alas !  what 
am  I  after  ?  what  am  I  admiring  ?  Pompous  trifles  I  Great  souls 
employed  in  dressing  atoms  1  O  religion,  thy  joys  are  substan- 
tial and  sincere  I  When  shall  I  awake,  and  find  myself  where 
nothing  else  shall  attract  the  soul  ?" 

Much  more  that  is  very  good  might  have  been  extracted,  but 
chiefly  such  things  as  are  common  to  all  Christians. 


CHAP.  V. 


EXTRACTS    FROM    A    DIARY    KEPT    AFTER    HIS    REMOVAL 
TO    KETTER1NG,    BEGINNING    APKIL    11,    1784. 

AN  interval  of  more  than  two  years  took  place  between  the 
close  of  the  former  diary  and  the  commencement  of  this.  It 
is  believed  Mr.  Fuller  himself  destroyed  a  volume  which  com- 
prehended this  period. 

On  the  30th  of  April,  1784,  he  wrote — 

"  I  earnestly  desire,  these  papers  and  books,  if  I  should  not 
burn  them  in  my  life  time,  may  never  be  shown,  except  to  -very 
few  persons,  after  my  death ;  for  such  a  life  as  mine  I  wish 
never  to  be  imitated.  When  I  read  the  life  of  one  whom  I  think 
to  have  been  a  good  man,  I  feel  apt  to  account  his  acquisitions 
nearly  the  utmost  that  can  be  attained  in  this  life.  The  fear 
lest  any  one  should  think  thus  of  mine,  makes  me  write  this 
desire." 

On  this  paragraph  I  would  make  two  or  three  remarks,  pre- 
viously to  my  inserting  any  extracts  from  this  volume. 

1.  I  am  strongly  persuaded,  that    I  am   one  of  those  few 
whom  he  would  not   have  precluded   from  the  sight  of  these 
papers.     And  I  find  sufficient  evidence,  in  this  very  manuscript, 
of  his  affectionate  regard  for  me,  and  his  sympathy  with  me, 
under  trials  of  my  own,  to  confirm  this  opinion,  if  it  needed 
confirmation. 

2.  That  I  wish,  according  to  what  I  suggested  in  the  former 
Chapter,  (p.  78.)  to  guard  against  the  abuse  of  his  mary  com- 
plaints and  conflicts. 

11 


82  MEMOIRS    OF 

3.  That*  all  things  considered,  I  found  more  to  humble  mtt 
on  the  perusal  of  the  whole,  than  to  administer  that  despicable 
and  pernicious  comfort,  which  we  both  feared  some  professors 
would  be  tempted  to  extract  from  it. 

4.  That  I  sincerely  wish,  (as  I  am  sure  he  would,  still  more 
earnestly  than  I.)  to  beware  of  any  attempt  to  make  others  think 
more  highly  than   they  ought   to   think   of  my  dear  departed 
friend  ;  or  to  lead  them  to  imagine  that  he  was  "  exempt  from  the 
common  infirmities  of  our  corrupted  nature."     A  sinner  ready 
to  perish,  but  saved  by  marvellous  grace,  was  the  only  light  in 
which  he  wished  to  be  viewed,  or  in  which  I  have  attempted  to 
exhibit  him.     I  only  add, 

5  That  I  have  made  such  a  selection,  according  to  the  best 
of  my  judgment,  as  I  thought  would  tend  to  the  honour  of  his 
blessed  Lord,  and  to  the  benefit  of  candid  and  intelligent  rea- 
ders ;  inserting  nothing  which  I  conceived  he  would  have  ob- 
jected to  insert,  had  he  been  the  bigorapher  of  just  such 
another  man. 

Many  things  which  indicate  his  pastoral  watchfulness,  I  have 
omitted  ;  lest  any  one  should  guess  at  individuals  whose  conduct 
gave  him  pain.  It  must  be  supposed  that  he  had  some  trials  of 
this  sort  at  Kettering,  as  well  as  at  Soham  ;  since,  as  the  great 
Mr.  Howe  observes,  (  Works,  VI.  177.)  "  The  true,  the  proper, 
and  right  notion  of  the  Christian  church,  or  the  churches  of 
Christ  in  general,  isahat  they  are  hospitals,  or  rather  one  great 
hospital,  wherein  are  persons  of  all  sorts  under  cure.  There 
is  none  that  is  sound,  none  that  is  not  diseased,  none  that  hath 
not  wounds  and  sores  about  him."  He  was,  however,  anxious 
for  the  people  of  his  charge,  and  for  others  of  his  acquaintance, 
that  they  might  not  only  adhere  to  the  truth,  but  be  sanctified  by 
the  truth. 

As  to  himself,  it  appears  that  he  watched  continually  over 
the  state  of  his  own  soul,  both  in  private,  and  in  the  discharge 
of  his  public  work.  I  had  thought  of  dividing  these  two 
particulars  ;  but  after  transcribing  them  separately  to  the  close 
of  this  year,  1784,  I  found  them  so  interwoven  together,  that 
t  concluded  it  would  be  better  to  let  them  remain  united.  J 


MR.   FULLER.  83 

have  only  kept  distinct  the  account  of  the  exercises  of  his 
mind  respecting  his  own  publications,  which  I  shall  give  af- 
terwards. 

His  humility  and  godly  jealousy  appear  continually.  While 
others  admired  his  zeal  and  diligence,  he  was  perpetually  be- 
wailing his  lukewarmness,  inconstancy,  and  inactivity ;  and 
dreading  lest  he  should  prove  an  *  idol  shepherd,'  who  fed  not 
the  flock-  Since  I  wrote  the  preceding  chapter,  I  found, 
among  his  papers,  a  letter  from  a  friend,  which  he  had  folded 
up,  and  written  upon  it  the  writer's  name,  and  the  date,  (Oct. 
5,  1783,)  and  added  beneath — "  O  may  I  never  forget  thd  hints 
in  this  letter .'"  On  opening  it,  a  similar  wish,  I  found,  had 
been  written  by  him,  under  the  original  direction.  This  ex- 
cited my  curiosity,  to  examine  what  these  hints  were  ;  and  I 
found  it  came  from  one  to  whom  he  had  made  some  heavy 
complaints  of  himself,  just  before  his  settlement  at  Kettering  ; 
who  thus  replied  : — "  1  love  you,  but  I  do  not  greatly  pity  you  : 
I  am  glad  you  feel  as  you  do — '  When  I  am  weak,  then  am  I 
strong.'  God  Almighty  keep  us  from  ever  being  great  men, 
or,  rather,  from  thinking  ourselves  so  i  Oh,  it  requires  num- 
berless miracles  to  get  any  man  to  heaven  ;  perhaps,  I  might 
say,  especially  a  minister  1  You  will  t/o,  as  long  as  you  feel 
vile,  and  foolish,  and  weak.  I  had  rather  preach  at  your  funeral, 
than  live  to  see  you  good,  and  wise,  and  great,  and  strong,  in 
your  own  estimation."  This  was  the  sort  of  friendship  my 
dear  Brother  valued,  more  than  what  would  express  itself  in 
compliment  and  flattery. 

EXTRACTS    FROM    HIS    DIARY,    FROM     1784    TO     1796. 

"April  11,  1784 — A  tender  forenoon,  in  public  prayer. 
My  heart  aches  for  the  congregation,  young  and  old  ;  especially 
for  some  who  seem  to  be  under  concern.  O  that  Christ  may 
be  formed  in  them  !  But  I  am  so  carnal,  that  I  fear  God  will 
never  do  any  thing  by  me.  Had  a  pretty  good  forenoon,  in 
preaching  on  being  sick  ;  but  a  poor  afternoon,  on  Christ's 
being  the  great  Physician. 

«  April  22,  1784. — Visited  by  Mr.  Robert  Hall,  sen.  and 
Mr.  Joshua  Symmonds.  The  former  preached  from  '  Be  ye 


84  MEMOIRS    OP 

also  ready.'  I  had  a  very  solemn,  painful,  and  yet  pleasurable 
time.  O  how  far"  am  I  from  being  ready  !  How  little  disen- 
gaged from  what  I  must  shortly  leave  !  How  little  prepared  for 
a  better  world  ! 

«  %5t — A  very  good  forenoon,  both  in  prayer,  and  in  preach- 
ing on  walking  by  faith.  Poor  afternoon  :  no  savour  at  the 
Lord's  supper.  In  the  evening,  expounded  Matt.  iv.  on 
Christ's  temptation.  Noticed  its  importance,  time,  circum- 
stances, nature,  and  issue.  At  the  close,  interred,  '  As  Christ 
did  not  run  into  temptation,  but  was  led  ufi  of  the  Spirit ;  so 
we  must  not  run  into  it,  but  pray,  as  he  has  directed  us,  that  we 
may  not  enter  into  it.' 

"  28. — Preached  at  Winnick  :  felt  sacred  pleasure  in  prayer. 
O  it  gives  me  sweet  pleasure  to  see  any  appearance  of  the  pros- 
perity of  Christ's  kingdom  ! 

"  May  3. — Some  tenderness  in  preaching,  at  Stagsden  :  en- 
deavoured to  speak  plain  and  home  to  the  understandings  and 
consciences  of  some  poor,  plain  people,  on  Christ's  being  a  way 
that  men  know  not. 

"  7. — Heard  Mr.  Robert  Hall,  jun.  from,  *  He  that  increas- 
eth  knowledge,  increaseth  sorrow.'  Felt  very  solemn,  in  hear- 
ing some  parts.  O  that  I  could  keep  more  near  to  God  !  How 
good  is  it  to  draw  near  to  him  1 

"  1 1.— Devoted  this  day  to  fasting  and  prayer,  in  conjunction 
with  several  other  ministers,  who  have  agreed  thus  to  spend  the 
second  Tuesday  in  every  other  month,  to  seek  the  revival  of  real 
religion,  and  the  extension  of  Christ's  kingdom  in  the  world. 
Feel  very  unhappy,  to  think  that  my  heart  should  be  no  more 
in  it.  But  very  little  of  the  true  spirit  of  prayer,  throughout 
the  whole  day. 

«'  16. — A  good  forenoon:  tender  in  prayer,  for  the  revival  of 
religion,  and  the  carrying  on  of  a  good  work  among  our  young 
people.  Very  tender,  to-night,  at  Thrapston,  and  greatly  con- 
cerned far  the  salvation  of  souls,  while  preaching  on  sinners' 
being  like  Moab— at  ease  from  his  youth.  Here  I  am  child 
enough  to  think,  4  Surely  some  good  must  be  done !' 

«  26. — [Having  visited  Soham,  as  he  returned,  on  his  way  to 
Cambridge.]  Felt  a  sense  of  the  importance  of  everlasting 


MR.    FULLER.  85 

things,  occasioned  by  hearing  the  conversation  of  some  wicked 
men.  Oh  !  if  I  had  an  abiding  sense  of  the  danger  and  worth 
of  souls,  surely  I  should  feel  more  like  Aaron,  when  he  ran, 
with  his  censer,  between  the  living  and  the  dead. 

"  June  11. — Spoke,  to-night,  from  *  Learn  of  me,  for  I  am 
meek  and  lowly  in  heart.'  Indeed,  I  had  need  to  learn  more 
of  this.  I  find  applauses  to  be  fiery  trials. 

'*  13. — At  Olney.  A  poor,  cold  day,  except  in  the  evening. 
I  am  weary  of  being  out  from  home  so  much.  I  want  to  be 
more  at  home,  that  I  may  be  more  with  God. 

"  18. — At  Northampton.  Conversation  with  Mr.  R.  chief 
part  of  the  day.  Preached,  this  afternoon,  a  lecture  with  him, 
at  Bugbrook,  with  some  pleasure :  returned:  felt  sweetly,  to- 
night, in  prayer  for  ardour  in  Christ's  cause. 

«  19.— Tender  in  prayer,  again,  this  morning  :  but  Oh,  what 
a  poor,  carnal,  stupid  creature,  nearly  throughout  the  day  ! 
Some  little  fervour,  to-night,  in  meditating  on  Christ's  mercy. 

«  21. — Much  affected,  to-day,  in  visiting  some  poor  friends  ; 
especially  in  going  to  see  a  little  boy,  of  seven  or  eight  years 
old,  in  a  decline,  not  likely  to  continue  long.  My  heart  felt 
for  his  everlasting  state.  Conversed  with  him  a  little,  on  di- 
vine subjects. 

"  July  1.— Preached  at  Cranford  ;  but  feel  as  if  I  had  lost 
all  savour  of  religion.  Returning  home,  to-night,  my  mind  was 
exercised  on  David's  prayer — 4  Renew  a  constant  spirit  within 
me.'  O  what  need  have  I  of  that  ! 

«  9 — Some  serious  tenderness  of  spirit,  and  concern  for  the 
carnality  of  my  heart,  for  some  days  past.  Read  to  our  friends, 
this  evening,  a  part  of  Mr.  Edwards's  Attemfit  to  promote 
Prayer  for  the  Revival  of  Religion,  to  excite  them  to  the 
like  practice.  Felt  my  heart  profited,  and  much  solemnized 
by  what  I  read. 

"  11 — A  good  forenoon,  in  preaching  on  fellowship,  with 
Christ.  Felt  some  tenderness  of  heart,  several  times  in  the 
day,  longing  for  the  coming  of  Christ's  kingdom,  and  the  sal- 
vation of  my  hearers. 

«  July  12,  1784.— Read  part  of  a  poem,  by  John  Scott,  Esq. 
on  the  cruelties  of  the  English  in  the  East  Indies,  causing  arti- 
ficial famines,  &c.  My  heart  felt  most  earnest  desires,  that 


86  MEMOIRS    OF 

Christ's  kingdom  might  come,  when  all  these  cruelties  shall 
cease.  O  for  the  time,  when  neither  the  sceptre  of  oppression, 
nor  heathen  superstition,  shall  bear  the  sway  over  them  !  Lord 
Jesus,  set  up  thy  glorious,  peaceful  kingdom  all  over  the  world ! 
Found  earnest  desire,  this  morning,  in  prayer,  that  God  would 
hear  the  right,  as  to  them,  and  hear  our  prayers,  in  which  the 
Churches  agree  to  unite,  for  the  spread  of  Christ's  kingdom.* 

«  13. — Spent  this  day  in  fasting  and  prayer,  in  conjunction 
•with  several  of  my  brethren  in  the  ministry,  lor  the  revival  of 
our  churches  and  the  spread  of  the  gospel.  Found  some  ten- 
derness and  earnestness  in  prayer,  several  times  in  the  day. 
Wrote  a  few  thoughts  on  the  desirableness  of  the  coming  of 
Christ's  kingdom. 

<<  1 6. — Rode  to  Arnsby,  this  morning :  had  some  profitable 
conversation  with  Mr.  Hall.  Came  back,  and  heard  an  aged 
minister  [deeply  tinged  with  False  Calvinism]  with  grief. 
Surely  the  system  of  religion  which  he,  with  too  many  others, 
has  imbibed,  enervates  every  part  of  vital  godliness. 

M  18. — A  good  forenoon  in  preaching  from  *  All  my  springs 
are  in  thee  ;'  but  a  better  time  in  prayer.  Found  my  heart  go 
out  for  the  children  and  youth  of  the  congregation  ;  owing, 
perhaps,  to  my  having  spoken,  last  night,  at  the  grave  of  the 
little  boy  mentioned  June  2 1 .  Poor  child  !  he  seemed  to  like 
that  I  should  talk  with  him  before  he  died. 

«  19.— Chiefly  employed  in  writing,  and  in  visiting  poor 
friends.  Think  I  get  good,  and  hope  I  do  some  good,  by  the 
latter  of  these  practices.  Read  some  more  of  Edwards  on 
Prayer,  as  I  did  also  last  Monday  night,  with  sweet  satisfaction. 
I  have  felt  sweet  serenity  in  my  own  mind,  for  some  days  past. 

*  The  meetings  of  prayer,  for  the  revival  of  religion  and  the  success  of 
the  goapel,  on  the  first  Monday  in  every  month,  had  been^rs*  set  on  foot, 
this  year,  at  the  Nottingham  Baptist  Association,  June  3, 1784  They  were 
recommended  by  the  Warwickshire  Association,  in  1786,  and  adopted  by 
some  of  the  Independents  in  their  neighbourhood.  The  Western  Asso- 
ciation recommended  the  same  practice,  in  1790,  which  has  since  spread 
extensively  through  the  kingdom.  See  Mr.  Fuller's  Persuasives  to 
General  Union  in  Extraordinary  Prayer,  at  the  end  of  his  Sermon  on 
Walking  by  Faith.  This  proposal  may  be  traced  yet  further  back,  to  a 
copy  of  Edwards's  Humble  Attempt,  &c.  received  from  Dr.  Erskine,  by  a 
friend  of  Mr.  Fuller's,  April  23,  1784.  R. 


MR.    FULLER.  87 

«*  22.— Some  pleasure  to-day,  at  the  church-meeting,  in  speak- 
ing from  1  Peter  i.  2.  Feel  my  mind,  now,  generally  serene 
and  peaceful. 

"  27. — Dull,  and  unaffected  :  nothing  seems  to  lay  hold  of 
me.  Some  fear,  to-night,  in  prayer.  An  accident  that  has  be- 
fallen my  youngest  child  now  lays  sufficient  hold  of  me.  I 
fear  lest  he  should  be  taken  from  me.  Very  much  moved  in 
prayer  for  him.  O  Lord,  I  must  have  something  trying  to 
move  me  !  How  I  shall  endure  this  I  know  not !  O  prepare 
him  and  prepare  me  ! 

"  28. — Feel  my  heart  tender,  to-day  ;  and  some  thankfulness 
of  heart,  for  hope  afforded  of  the  child.  Ah  !  how  easy  to  speak 
of  resigning  our  whole  selves,  and  all  that  pertains  to  us,  to 
the  Lord ;  but  how  difficult  to  do  so,  when  it  comes  to  the 
trial ! 

u  31. — Found  great  reluctance  to  close  thought  and  deal- 
ing with  God.  Alas!  here  I  have  always  cause  for  self- 
reflection  ! 

"  Aug.  15—1  feel  myself  so  propense  to  sink  into  insensi- 
bility, that  I  am  almost  ready  to  despair  of  ever  making  any 
progress  in  real  religion, 

«  22. — Some  exercise  of  a  pleasant  nature,  on  the  subjects 
of  which  I  am  writing.  The  love  which  the  holy  angels  found 
increasing  towards  God,  as  displayed  in  the  gospel,  was  par- 
ticularly affecting  to  me. 

"  24.  —Some  tenderness  in  prayer,  of  late ;  yet  I  fear  lest  I 
should  be  blasted  in  my  ministry,  on  account  of  my  barren- 
ness. 

«  25.— Enjoyed  sweetness  now,  for  some  days,  in  reading 
over  the  Acts  of  the  Apostles,  before  family  prayer :  pleasant 
times  in  that  duty.  O  that  we  might  see  some  such  blessed 
effusions  of  the  Spirit  granted  again,  as  in  the  apostles'  days  I 

"  Aug.  27,  1784 — Tenderness  of  heart,  and  some  self-abase- 
ment, generally  prevalent  now.  The  Lord  keep  me  mtek  and 
lowly  in  heart  I 

"  29. — A  very  tender,  affectionate  time,  in  prayer  for  the  con- 
gregation, especially  for  the  young  people.  Not  so  well,  in 
preaching  on  the  danger  of  having  our  own  wills,  and  on  Christ's 
calling  us  friend*.  Finished  expounding  our  Lord's  sermon 


38  MEMOIRS    OF 

on  the  Mount.  I  wish  I  may  attend  to  some  caution  I  had  given 
me  to-night.  The  Lord  lead  me  into  the  spirit  of  the  gospel, 
and  keep  me  from  extremes  ! 

"  Sept.  1. — I  feel  to-night,  much  discouraged.  I  can  scarcely 
tell  whether  I  am  of  any  real  use.  My  soul  seems  dried  up, 
like  a  potsherd. 

"  2. — Low  in  my  feelings  to-day.  Wearied  out  with  writing. 
O  that  God  would  bless  me  indeed  ! 

a  3. — Employed  nearly  all  day  in  searching  out  Paul's  jour- 
nies  into  Asia.  Macedonia,  and  Greece.  O  that  I  might  enter 
into  the  spirit  of  that  great  man  of  God  !  Felt  much  pleasure  in 
this  day's  work. 

«  5. — Some  pleasure  in  private,  this  morning,  and  in  preach- 
ing on  the  benefit  of  reflecting  on  fiast  experiences.  A  poor, 
dull  afternoon  ;  but  a  very  earnest  and  fervent  opportunity,  this 
evening,  on  love  to  Christ's  salvation.  O  if  God  would  but 
make  use  of  it  ! 

"  No  remarkable  exercise,  for  these  two  or  three  days,  ex- 
cept some  little  tenderness  in  prayer.  Last  Tuesday,  I  found 
some  heart  to  pray  for  God's  Holy  Spirit,  that  it  might  not  be 
taken  from  us :  have  felt  that  desire  renewed,  at  some  seasons, 
since.  Very  tender  to-night,  in  speaking  on  Christ's  legacy— 
*  My  peace  I  give  unto  you.' 

[Soon  after  this  he  was  very  much  distressed  on  account  of 
some  jarrings  among  his  old  friends  at  Soham.] 

«  21. — Taken  up  all  day,  in  writing  letters  to  Cambridgeshire, 
O  may  God  bless  them  to  their  good  1  Felt  very  tender  in  writ- 
ing them. 

<t  26. — Deeply  affected,  this  morning, in  thinking  and  preach- 
ing on  the  poor  and  needy  seeking  water,  and  finding  none,  &c. 
Some  tenderness,  too,  in  the  afternoon.  This  thought  was  mov- 
ing— That  our  hardness  of  heart  broke  Christ's  heart,  and  our 
stupidity  made  his  soul  *  exceeding  sorrowful  even  unto 
death/ 

"  Oct.  5. — [A  meeting  of  ministers  was  held  at  Kettering. 
He  speaks  of  peculiar  pleasure  in  hearing  Mr.  R.  Hall,  sen. 
pointing  out  the  right  use  of  the  law,  in  subservience  to  the  gos~ 
fiel,  and  concluding  the  evening  in  prayer.  Some  other  occur- 
rences, at  this  time,  much  affected  his  mind.  He  mentions  also 


MR.  FULLER*  o* 

a  dream,  which,  though  fictitious  in  itself,  yet  led  his  attention 
to  awful  realities.]  O  the  dangers  that  mankind  are  in  1  What 
thousands  are  every  hour  precipitated  into  an  eternal  world  I 

"  8.— Spoke  from  Eccles-  xii.  1 3.  <  Fear  God,  and  keep  his 
commandments  :  for  this  is  the  whole  of  man'— the  whole  end 
of  his  existence,  the  whole  of  his  bliss  and  worth.  My  heart  is 
sick  of  all  knowledge  and  all  accomplishments,  unless  they  are 
made  to  subserve  the  cause  of  the  blessed  Redeemer :  how 
empty  and  frothy  is  it  all,  unless  sanctified  by  the  grace  of  God  ! 

"  1 8.— Much  depressed  in  spirit,  to-night,  on  account  of  my 
little  spirituality.  Prayed,  at  the  evening  meeting,  with  ten- 
derness of  spirit.  I  sensibly  felt  my  entire  dependence  on  the 
Spirit  of  God,  for  the  carrying  on  of  the  work  of  grace,  as  well 
as  for  the  beginning  of  it. 

"  19.— Rode  with  Mr.  R.  jun.  to  Winnick,  to  assist  the  good 
people  there  in  forming  themselves  into  a  church.  Heard  him 
preach,  and  the  people  relate  their  experiences  afterwards, 
more  privately. 

«  20 — Brother  R.  preached  upon  Baptism,  and  Brother  Sut- 
eliff  baptized  seven  persons.  I  felt  tenderness  and  solemn 
pleasure,  in  addressing  them  on  the  nature  of  their  present 
engagements.  Preached,  in  the  afternoon,  with  some  pleasure, 
on  being  <  knit  together  in  love.' 

"  31. — Heard,  this  morning,  that  Mr.  G.  is  dying.  Last  Fri- 
day night,  I  saw  him  as  usual ;  when  he  said  to  me,  <  Remem- 
ber and  pray  for  a  poor  old  man  ;  for  I  cannot  be  long  in  this 
world.'  I  was  much  affected  with  this  news.  Sung  Psa.  xc. 
Felt  tender  in  prayer,  and  in  preaching  from  <  Uphold  thou  me 
according  to  thy  word,  that  I  may  live,'  &c.  Preached,  this 
afternoon,  on  the  breadth,  and  length,  and  defith,  and  height 
of  Christ's  love.  Some  sweet  pleasure  at  the  Lord's  supper. 
O  to  know  more  of  Christ,  and  live  upon  him  !  I  feel  very 
happy  to-night :  can  hardly  forbear  singing,  as  I  go  about, 

'  O  for  this  love,  let  rocks  and  hills 

Their  lasting  silence  break  : 
And  all  harmonious  human  tongues, 

The  Saviour's  praises  speak  I' 

*  Nov.  12,  1784 — Feel  my  mind  earnestly  engaged  in  long- 
ing for  the  salvation  of  souls,  and  earnest  for  it  in  prayer.  O 


3®  MEMOIRS    OF 

what  an  awful  thing  does  it  seem  to  me,  for  sinners  under  * 
fatal    disease  not  to  desire  a  remedy  ! 

"20 — Returning  home  from  Gretton,  thought  on  the  first 
Psalm,  upon  which  I  intend  to  preach  to-morrow  ;  but  how  un- 
like am  I  to  the  character  there  drawn  !  My  leaf  seems  to 
wither  every  day,  and  scarcely  any  thing  I  do  appears  to  pros- 
per. I  feel  self-reflection  for  want  of  walking  closely  with  God. 
Surely  I  need,  as  it  were,  to  renew  covenant  with  God. 

"  26.— Some  reflections,  of  late,  in  prayer,  for  my  strange 
propensity  to  depart  from  God  ;  and  many  discouraging  thoughts 
with  regard  to  praying  and  preaching  for  the  promotion  of 
Christ's  kingdom.  It  seems  almost  as  though  the  Lord,  if  he 
hath  not  forsaken  the  earth,  had  yet  nearly  forsaken  me,  and 
would  not  regard  my  petitions. 

"  27 — Some  pleasure  in  thinking  on  the  second  Psalm ; 
especially  on  the  combination  of  joy  and  trembling. 

28.— Much  tenderness  and  pleasure  in  preaching  on  the  above 
subject,  before  the  Lord's  supper.  Felt  the  like  at  the  ordi- 
nance, especially  in  urging  a  thought  from  Maclaurin — •  How 
dreadful  is  it  to  be  a  mere  spectator  of  the  things  signified  by 
this  institution,  and  not  an  actual  partaker  of  Christ's  benefits  I' 

"  29-— Much  dispirited,  ou  account  of  n»y  carnal-mindedness 
and  perpetual  propensity  to  depart  from  God.  My  life  seems 
to  have  been  one  continued  series  of  departure  from  God.  I 
can  compare  it  to  nothing  but  a  great  flood,  or  tide,  that  rolls 
perpetually  along.  The  sins  of  my  life  are  many  ;  but  the  sin 
of  my  nature  seems  to  be  but  one — one  continual  disposition  to 
evil,  and  aversion  to  draw  near  to  God. 

i<  30. — -Visited  Mrs.  W.  at .    Her  conversation  is  almost 

always  spiritual  and   profitable.      Some  pleasure  throughout 
the  day. 

«  Dec.  1. — Employed  in  writing  out  a  sermon  for  Miss  D. 
which  was  preached  on  the  7th  of  April,  at  her  mother's  fune- 
ral, on  the  all-sufficiency  of  grace  :  felt  much  affected  with 
some  of  the  sentiments,  as  I  transcribed  them. 

«  6. — An  affecting  meeting  of  prayer,  this  evening,  for  the 
revival  of  real  religion  :  found  much  pleasure  in  singing,  and 
freedom  with  God  in  prayer :  prayed  against  my  late  sceptical 
feelings." 


MR.    FULLER. 


91 


Like  variations  of  his  frame  of  mind  are  noticed  through  the 
rest  of  the  month,  which  I  omit,  on  account  of  its  similarity 
to  what  has  been  already  inserted. 

3 1  .—He  mentions  having  been  much  affected  the  preceding 
"Wednesday,  while  he  carried  his  sou  in  lus  arms,  and  wept 
over  him,  singing  Dr.  Wutts's  hymn— 

"  U  may'st  thou  live  to  reach  the  place 
Where  lie  unveils  his  lovely  face  !"  fee. 

He  adds,  «  If  I  die  before  him,  let  him  remember  this  ;  and 
Sally,  the  verses  in  the  diary  of  August  11,  1780.  [See 
Chap.  IX.] 

"  Jan.  1,  1785. — Some  emotions  of  affection,  this  morning, 
in  reflecting  on  the  past  year.  What  good  1  have  done  I 
scarcely  know.  Great  has  been  my  sin  against  God.  Behold, 
I  am  vile  ! 

"  2.  (Lord's  day.) — Preached,  this  forenoon,  on  love  to 
Christ,  and  in  the  afternoon  a  new-year's  sermon  to  young 
people,  from  Psa.  xxxiv.  1 1 — '  Come,  ye  children,'  &c.  Some 
sweet  and  solemn  feelings,  as  I  sat  in  the  vestry,  while  a  hymn 
for  the  new  year,  out  of  the  Bristol  Collection,  was  sung  :  felt 
my  heart  very  tender,  and  a  longing  desire  for  the  welfare  of  the 
young  people  :  preached  to  them  with  some  earnestness.  Felt 
much  also,  this  day,  in  reading  Bunyarfu  Holy  War  ;  particu- 
larly that  part  where  the  four  captains  agree  to  petition  the 
King  for  more  force :  felt  a  great  satisfaction  in  my  principles 
concerning  preaching  to  sinners,  and  a  desire  to  pray,  like  them, 
for  help  from  on  high,  to  render  the  word  effectual. 

"Jan.  3,  1785- — Felt  very  sensibly,  to-night,  at  our  monthly 
meeting  for  prayer.  How  far  off  from  a  Christian  life  1  live  ! 
How  little  real  fellowship  I  have  with  Christ !— How  little  of 
holy  boldness  can  I  use  in  prayer  !  Surely,  if  I  were  more  to 
frequent  the  throne  of  grace  in  private,  it  would  be  better 
with  me  I 

«  8 — Much  affected,  to-day,  in  hearing  my  little  girl  say, 
4  How  soon  Sabbath  day  comes  again  1*  Felt  grieved  to  see  the 
native  aversion  of  the  carnal  heart  from  God  so  early  discov- 
ering itself.  Was  led  to  importune  God  at  a  throne  of  grace 
gn  her  behalf, 


95         I  MEMOIRS   OF 

«  9.— A  good  day,  on  the  whole.  In  the  morning,  preached 
from  <  You  hath  he  quickened,'  &c. — in  the  afternoon,  on  the 
petition  of  the  blind  man,  Mark  x.— -in  the  evening,  expounded 
Acts  yi.  One  verse  in  particular,  carries  in  it  conviction  to 
me — that  we  may  give  ourselves  wholly  to  prayer  and  the 
ministry  of  the  word. 

"  11. — Some  outgoings  of  heant  in  prayer,  to-day,  for  the 
revival  ot  real  religion,  first  in  my  own  soul,  and  then  in  the 
churches  in  general.  My  own  mental  departures  from  God 
have  been  long  and  great  !  Went  several  times  to  the  Lord 
with  some  satisfaction  ;  but  found  not  such  nearness  of  access 
as  I  could  wish. 

«  14 — Spoke,  to-night,  with  some  freedom,  on  Psa.  cxvi. 
'  I  will  walk  before  the  Lord,'  Sec.  Explained  it  as  consisting 
in  viewing  ourselves  always  as  in  God's  sight,  and  not  merely 
in  the  sight  of  creatures,  whether  godly  or  ungodly  ;  in  striving 
to  please  God  ;  and  in  attending  in  a  constant  way  to  the  most 
spiritual  duties.  Observed  the  goodness  of  the  resolution  ; 
because  this  course  was  safe,  honourable,  and  happy. 

«  Feb.  8. — Visited  Mr.  Toller,  to-day,  who  has  been  very  ill : 
some  serious  conversation  with  him  on  the  importance  of  real 
religion  in  a  dying  hour. 

"  1 1. — Read  part  of  the  life  of  J.  Janeway,  to-day,  with  much 
conviction  and  tenderness.  Oh  !  my  life,  how  low  to  his  ! 

"  12. — Feel  desires  to  live  like  that  excellent  young  man, 
whose  life  I  read  yesterday. 

«  13. — Some  earnestness,  to-day,  in  preaching  oppressing 
forward^  and  on  the  desire  accomplished  being  sweet  to  the  soul  ; 
but  little  spirituality.  Very  earnest,  to-night,  in  preaching  from 
<  What  will  ye  do  in  the  end  thereof  ?' 

«  19. — Feel  an  earnest  desire,  this  morning,  that  my  mind 
might  be  well  furnished  with  evangelical  sentiments.  Had  some 
pleasing  meditations  on  Rev.  i.  18. 

«  20, — Felt  earnestness  and  pleasure  in  preaching  on  the 
above  subject :  found  encouragement  in  observing  several  in  the 
congregation  who  are  likely  soon  to  join  the  church. 

«  2 1  — Last  night,  I  was  reading  Mr.  Scott  on  Repentance. 
Reflections  this  morning,  on  the  great  need  I  have  of  repent- 


MR.    FULLER.  93 

ancc,  and  the  little  I  feel  of  it.    Every  day  furnishes  reasons  for 
it ;  but  how  seldom  do  I  experience  holy  mourning  1 

"  22. — Tenderness  in  private  prayer,  attended  with  shame. 
An  agreeable  visit  with  Mr.  B.  W.  at  Mr.  T.'s.  Conversation 
very  serious  and  profitable,  chiefly  on  closet-prayer  and  experi- 
mental subjects. 

«  25. — But  little  exercise  of  mind,  to-day,  though  I  experi- 
ence a  general  calmness  of  spirit.  Surely  it  is  good  for  me  to 
draw  near  to  God  !  How  strange  that  I  should  ever  feel  reluc- 
tant in  this  matter ! 

"  March  4 — Rode  to  Northampton :  had  some  pleasant 
meditation  on  1  Pet.  i.  6.—*  If  need  be  ye  are  in  heaviness.5 

«  6. — Preached  there,  on  the  above  subject,  with  some 
pleasure.  In  the  afternoon,  a  sermon  to  young  people ;  and  in 
the  evening,  lo-u e  to  Christ's  salvation.  A  pretty  good  day. 

"  7. — Enjoyed  divine  assistance  at  the  monthly  prayer-meet- 
ing, in  speaking  on  continuing  in  prayer ;  also  in  going  to  prayer, 
though  I  felt  wretchedly  cold  before  I  began. 

"  9.— Returned  from  Northampton.  Going  by  the  gallows, 
much  affected  with  the  death  of  a  malefactor.  O  eternity ! 
eternity  I 

"  March  1 1,  1785 — Feel  a  general  lowness  of  spirits  ;  partly 
occasioned  by  the  bitter  spirit  of  some  neighbouring  ministers 
respecting  my  late  publication  and  my  preaching ;  and,  partlyi 
by  sympathy  with  some  of  my  friends  under  trials. 

"  21.— Have  been  somewhat  stirred,  beyond  due  bounds,  to- 
day, in  talking  with It  would  have  been  better  for  me 

to  have  thought  more  of  myself,  and  to  have  spoken  to  him  with 
more  humility. 

«  25 — Returning  from  Woodford,  (where  I  preached,  last 
night,  with  earnestness  and  solemnity  of  spirit,  on  the  ways  of 
sin  being  moveabtey  like  those  of  the  adulteress,  I  was  led  into  a 
profitable  train  of  meditation,  on  our  good  Shepherd's  care  of  his 
flock,  occasioned  by  seeing  some  lambs  exposed  to  the  cold, 
and  a  poor  sheep  perishing  for  want  of  care. 

"28 — Some  heaviness  of  heart,  because  some  of  my  friends 
do  not  take  that  freedom  with  me  which  I  wish  they  did. 

"  29.-Visited  this  morning  by  Mr.  W.  who  told  me  of  a 
very  unhappy  affair  that  has  taken  place.  This  explains  some 


94  MEMOIRS    OP 

things  which  I  imputed  to  reserve.  How  grievous  is  it  that 
the  cause  of  Christ  should  be  dishonoured  !  But  what  reason 
have  I  to  be  thankful  that  the  case  is  not  mine  I 

«  April  5.--Preached  at  Oakley :  on  my  return,  found  Mr. 
Hall  of  Arnsby  at  Kettering. 

«  6 — Taken  up  with  his  company.  Feel  much  dejected  in 
viewing  the  state  of  the  churches.  O  that  God  would  revive  us ! 
O  that  we  could  pray  for  it  with  more  fervour  I 

«  19. — Preached  at  Wellingborough,  with  some  freedom,  on 
Christ's  commanding  us  to  •watch.  Some  conviction  by  con- 
versing with  Mr.  Carver,  whose  carefulness  not  to  circulate  am 
evil  report  I  admire. 

«  28. — I  find  it  is  observed,  that  persons  in  my  condition, 
without  greater  advantages  as  to  learning,  are  generally  apt  to 
be  more  censorious  than  those  whose  learning  is  far  greater.  I 
wish  I  may  be  always  on  the  watch  here. 

«  30. — Thought  to-day  I  could  wish  to  die,  if  I  had  but 
done  my  generation  work.  Last  Monday,  I  heard  a  young  man 
at  N.  speak  of  the  advantage  of  mixing  prayer  with  reading  the 
word.  This  morning  I  have  been  trying  to  read  in  that  way. 
Read  the  second  chapter  of  Hosea  thus ;  longing  to  use  that 
sweet  and  holy  freedom  which  the  Lord  designs  to  encourage, 
when  he  directs  the  church  to  call  him  not  Baali,  but  Ishi.  O 
that  I  could  dwell  nearer  to  God !  I  fear  some  trials  in  the 
church  ;  but  were  I  kept  near  to  him,  I  should  be  able  to  bear 
any  thing. 

"  May  1. -Found  earnestness  in  preaching  on  the  words  of 
God  doing  good  to  the  upright,  and  on  Christ's  being  the  same 
yesterday,  to-day,  and  forever.  Felt  my  heart  drawn  out  in 
prayer,  this  morning,  that  God  would  make  some  use  of  me  for 
good.  Praying  that  I  might  not  labour  in  vain,  and  spend  my 
strength  for  nought,  I  felt  a  check  of  this  kind— What  then  is 
my  labour,  and  of  what  account  is  my  strength  ?  On  this,  I  found 
much  outgoing  of  heart,  in  pleading  Christ's  merits  as  the  ground) 
and  the  welfare  of  souls  as  the  end. 

«  2. — Returning  from  Brigstock,  where  I  preached  last  night, 
some  conversation  with  a  friend  at  Thrapston  makes  me  reflect 
on  myself  for  imprudence.  I  feel  how  far  off  from  a  right  spirit  I 


MR.  FULLER.  95 

often  am.  This  evening,  I  felt  tender  all  the  time  of  the 
prayer- meeting-  for  the  revival  of  religion  ;  but  in  hearing  Mr. 
Beeby  Wallis  pray  for  me,  I  was  overcome  :  his  having  a  bet- 
ter opinion  of  me  than  I  deserve,  cuts  me  to  the  heart !  Went  to 
prayer  myseif,  and  found  my  mind  engaged  more  than  ordina- 
rily in  praying  for  the  revival  of  religion.  I  had  felt  many 
sceptical  thoughts  ;  as  though  tnere  were  room  to  ask — What 
profit  shall  I  have  if  I  pray  to  God  ?  for  which  I  was  much 
grieved.  Find  a  great  satisfaction  in  these  monthly  meetings : 
even  supposing  our  requests  should  not  be  granted,  yet  prayer 
to  God  is  its  own  rewara.  Felt  many  bitter  reflections  for  my 
stupid,  carnal  way  of  living. 

«  8 — Impressed,  this  morning,  in  thinking  on  the  wants  of 
the  people,  how  they  would  probably  be  coming  from  many 
places  round,  in  quest  of  spiritual  food,  while  I  was  barren,  and 
scarcely  knew  what  to  say  to  them.  Affected  in  thinking  of 
Micah  vii.  '  Feed  thy  people  with  thy  rod,'  Sec.  Preached  from 
it,  this  morning;  with  some  freedom  :  not  so  well  in  the  after- 
noon :  but  a  good  time  in  the  evening  at  Burton. 

u  May  14,  1785 -Very  heavy  in  heart,  to-day,  in  riding  to 
Clipstone,  where  I  am  to  preach  to-morrow.  Between  Kelmarsh 
and  Naseby,  felt  my  heart  much  broken  and  contrite,  to  what 
it  usually  is.  Some  enlargedness  of  heart  for  the  work  of  to- 
morrow. 

"  15—Preached  twice  at  Clipstone,  and  at  Naseby  in  the 
evening.  Felt  most  tenderness  in  the  evening.  O  that  I  were 
but  such  a  Christian  as  the  good  man  at  whose  house  Hedged  I 
What  an  humble  and  amiable  spirit ! 

"  1 7-Set  off  for  the  Association  at  Oak  ham  :  affected  with  the 
ktters  from  the  churches. 

«  is. — Heard  Messrs.  Ryland.  jun.  Mr.  Hall,  sen.  and  Sut- 
eliff.  I  know  not  when  I  have  enjoyed  a  happier  Association 
than  this. 

[On  the  23d  he  visited  his  old  friends  in  Cambridgeshire,  and 
preached  at  several  places.] 

"  June  2.— To-day,  I  go  for  home,  laden  vfith  the  burdens  of 
others,  as  well  as  some  of  my  own.  Preached,  in  the  day-time, 
at  Stretham ;  and  in  the  evening  at  Haddingham. 


96  MEMOIRS     OF 

«  4. — An  uncommon  load  lies  all  day  on  my  spirits.  I  am 
incapable  of  all  profitable  meditation :  feel  pained  for  the  peo- 
ple to-morrow.  Some  few  exercises  on  subjection  to  the  Father 
of  Spirits  ;  but  very  heavy  in  heart. 

«»  5. — Feel  myself  quite  ill  with  sorrow  of  heart  :  had  a  very 
tender  forenoon  on  the  subject  mentioned  above  ;  but  a  poor, 
wretched  afternoon :  very  much  depressed  all  day. 

«  6.-But  little  exercise  till  towards  night ;  when  the  sorrows 
of  yesterday  returned,  and  for  two  hours,  preyed  upon  my  heart 
stronger  than  ever,  so  as  to  make  me  very  ill.  Darkness  and 
confusion  of  mind  overwhelm  me. 

«  7.-Engaged  in  writing  out  the  Circular  Letter,  on  Declcn- 
%ions  in  Religion^  for  the  press :  found  some  very  tender  feel- 
ings towards  the  latter  part  of  it,  and  enjoyed  a  good  deal  of 
pleasure,  on  the  whole,  in  writing  it. 

"  12.- A  good  forenoon  in  preaching  on  returning  to  our  rest. 
It  is  rare  for  me  to  have  so  good  an  opportunity.  Rather  a  poor 
afternoon ;  but  preached  with  some  earnestness,  at  night,  from 
Psa.  cxxxix.  3. 

«  26. — But  a  poor  day,  yesterday,  in  meditation  ;  yet  this  day 
lias  been,  I  think,  one  of  the  best  I  have  experienced  for  years. 
Most  tenderly  and  earnestly  affected,  both  in  prayer  and  in 
preaching,.  In  the  morning,  1  could  scarcely  go  on,  for  weep- 
ing, while  preaching  from  Acts  iv.  33. — <  Great  grace  was 
upon  them  all.'  Not  quite  so  well  in  the  afternoon,  though  I 
was  upon  the  excellency  of  the  knowledge  of  Christ.  Yet  I 
felt  a  sweet  serenity  at  the  Lord's  supper,  and  spake  of  it  under 
the  idea  of  a  feast. 

«  98. — My  mind  all  taken  up,  this  morning,  with  what  it 
would  be  better  for  me  not  to  be  so  anxious  about :  exceed- 
ingly depressed  all  day. 

«  29.— Pleasant  conversation  with  some  persons  newly  awak- 
ened. Heard  Dr.  Addington,  to-night,  on  our  light  afflictions, 
with  pleasure  and  profit ;  but  walked  alone,  in  the  fields,  ex- 
ceedingly disconsolate. 

«  July  $. — Some  degree  of  calmness,  to-day  :  felt  more  dis- 
posed to  east  all  my  care  on  the  Lord.  An  awful 


MR.    FULLER.  97 

of  a  young  woman's  poisoning  herself,  at  •  ,  was  very 
affecting  to  me. 

«  3. — Another  exceedingly  melting  Sabbath  :  very  tender 
snd  earnest  in  prayer,  and  in  preaching  on  casting  our  care  on 
the  Lord  :  and  in  the  afternoon,  on  the  caution  given,  to  glory , 
not  in  wisdom,  strength,  or  riches,  but  in  the  knowledge  of  God. 
Preached,  in  the  evening,  from  *  Turn  away  mine  eyes  from 
beholding  vanity  ;'  occasioned  by  my  own  past  exercises,  and 
applied  to  the  warning  of  people  against  the  vanities  of  the 
world  ;  particularly  against  improper  behaviour  at  their  feasi, 
which  is  to-morrow  :  found  great  tenderness ;  particularly  in 
warning  the  youth,  from  the  example  of  the  young  woman,  who 
last  week  came  to  such  an  awful  end. 

"  6. — Attended  Mr.  Payne's  ordination,  at  Walgrave.  I  had 
a  very  good  time  indeed,  in  hearing  the  charge.  I  preached, 
in  the  afternoon,  to  the  church,  from  Heb.  xiii.  17.  [He  took 
much  affectionate  pains  to  bring  about  a  reconciliation  with 
some  members  who  were  dissatisfied,  and  succeeded.]] 

"July  10,  1785 — A  very  good  forenoon,  to-day,  on  God's 
dwelling  in  us,  and  walking  in  us  ;  though  not  equal  to  the  two 
Lord's  days  past. 

«  16. — Some  pleasure,  in  thinking  on  God's  power  to  do 
abundantly  more  than  we  can  ask  or  think.  Surely  he  had  need 
have  more  power  in  giving,  than  I  have  in  asking  1 

"  17. — A  very  good  forenoon,  on  the  above  subject :  not  so 
well  the  rest  of  the  day  j  but  felt  some  earnestness  in  the 
evening. 

"  23. — Felt  my  soul  much  in  prison,  to-day.  Have  been 
thinking  of  Psa.  cxlii.  7- — «  Bring  my  soul  out  of  prison,'  &c« 
but  much  locked  up  all  day. 

«  24. — A  pretty  good  forenoon,  on  the  above  subject :  much 
solemn  feeling  in  prayer,  on  the  ruined  state  of  man  by  nature  : 
was  helped  to  deplore  it  before  God,  on  behalf  of  myself  and 
the  congregation.  Some  earnestness,  in  the  afternoon,  on 
God's  being-  known  in  Judah  ;  and  the  like,  at  Loddington,  in 
the  evening. 

«  25. — 1  was  much  impressed,  this  morning,  in  reading 
Mason's  Remains.  Felt  mush  affected  and  very  solemn,  in 
13 


SB  MEMOIRS    OF 

praying  and  conversing  with  a  poor  woman  at  Barton,  who 
seems  not  likely  to  be  here  long,  and  is  much  in  the  dark  as 
to  her  state. 

"  Aug.  1. — Some  affectionate  emotions  of  heart,  in  prayer,  to- 
night, at  the  monthly  prayer-meeting.  Surely  unbelief  damps 
our  near  addresses  to  God,  and  something  of  that  ungrateful 
suspicion,  which  asks,  *  What  profit  shall  we  have  if  we  pray 
\into  him  ?'  lies  at  trie  bottom  of  our  indifference  in  this  duty. 

«  3  —Chiefly  employed,  to-day,  in  visiting  poor  friends.  I 
have  been  too  deficient  in  this  practice. 

«  4. — .Visited  several  more  poor  friends  :  some  conversation 
profitable  ;  but  I  mix  all  with  sin. 

«  6. — Some  tenderness,  in  thinking  on  Jonah  iii.  4.— <  I  said 
I  am  cast  out  of  thy  sight ;  yet  will  I  look  again,'  &c.  We 

have  had  some  awful  providences  of  late.  Mr.  — ,  of 

,  has  hanged  himself,  and  a  poor  woman  of  B.  seems 

in  the  very  jaws  of  desperation.  These  things  have  led  me 
to  think  on  something  that  may  be  an  antidote  to  despair. 

«  7. — A  very  good  forenoon,  on  the  above  subject.  Some 
seriousness  also,  this  afternoon,  on  Prov.  xxviii.  1 4. — «  Blessed 
is  he  that  feareth  alway '  Preached,  to-night,  on  man's  being 
*  abominable  and  filthy*  with  much  earnestness. 

"  22.— Rode  to  Arnsby.  Had  a  very  good  time,  in  preach- 
ing there,  this  evening  ;  but  a  sinful  heart  spoils  all. 

«  27.~Very  little  spirituality  throughout  the  day.  I  know 
not  how  to  think  a  good  thought. 

«  28. — A  pretty  good  Sabbath  :  in  the  morning,  from  Psa. 
xl. — *  Lo,  I  come,'  Sec.  and,  in  the  afternoon,  from  Psa.  xciv.  19. 

"  Sept.  25. — It  can  answer  no  end  to  write,  when  there  is 
nothing  material  to  write  about.  In  future,  therefore,  I  think 
only  to  notice  some  of  the  most  material  exercises  and  events 
of  my  life,  which  I  mean  merely  for  my  own  use. 

"  30. — We  had  a  Minister's  Meeting,  at  Northampton.  I 
preached,  and  Brother  Sutcliff,  and  Brother  Skinner.  But  the 
best  part  of  the  day  was,  I  think,  in  conversation.  A  question 
was  discussed,  to  the  following  purport :  To  ivhat  causes,  in 
ministers^  may  much  of  their  want  of  success  be  imfiuted  ?  The 
answer  turned  chiefly  upon  the  want  of  personal  religion  ;  par- 
ticularly, the  neglect  of  close  dealing  with  God  in  closet-prayer. 


MR.    FULLER.  99 

Jcr.  x.  2 1 .  was  referred  to  :  «  Their  pastors  are  become  brutish, 
and  have  not  sought  the  Lord  ;  therefore  they  shall  not  prosper, 
and  their  flocks  shall  be  scattered.'  Another  reason  assigned 
was,  the  want  of  reading  and  studying  the  Scriptures  more  as 
Christians,  for  the  edification  of  our  own  souls.  We  arc  too 
apt  to  study  them,  merely  to  find  out  something  to  say  to  others, 
without  living  upon  the  truth  ourselves.  If  we  eat  not  the 
book  before  we  deliver  its  contents  to  others,  we  may  expect 
the  Holy  Spirit  will  not  much  accompany  us.  If  we  study  the 
Scriptures  as  Christians,  the  more  familiar  we  are  with  them, 
the  more  we  shall  feel  their  importance ;  but,  if  otherwise,  our 
familiarity  with  the  word  will  be  like  that  of  soldiers,  doctors, 
or  grave  -diggers,  with  death— it  will  wear  away  all  sense  of  its 
importance  from  our  minds.  To  enforce  this  sentiment,  Prov. 
xxii.  17,  18.  was  referred  to:  «  Apply  thine  heart  to  know!, 
edge — the  words  of  the  wise  will  be  pleasant,  if  thoukeep  them 
within  Ihee  ;  they  shall  withal  be  fitted  in  thy  lips.'  To  this 
might  be  added,  Psa.  i.  2,  3.  Another  reason  was,  our  want 
of  being  emptied  of  self-sufficiency.  In  proportion  as  we  lean 
upon  our  own  gifts,  or  parts,  or  preparations,  we  slight  the  Holy 
Spirit  ;  and  no  wonder  that,  being  grieved,  he  should  leave  us 
to  do  our  work  alone.  Besides,  when  this  is  the  case,  it  is, 
humanly  speaking,  unsafe  for  God  to  prosper  us,  especially 
those  ministers  who  possess  considerable  abilities.  Reference 
was  also  made  to  an  Ordination  Sermon,  lately  preached,  by 
Mr.  Booth,  of  London,  to  Mr.  Hopkins,  Dr.  Gifford's  succes- 
sor, from  '  Take  heed  to  thyself.'  O  that  I  may  remember 
these  hints  for  my  good  I* 

*  I  well  remember  the  discussion  of  this  question,  which  fully  occupied 
the  evening.  Another  had  been  discussed,  after  dinner,  respecting  vil. 
lage-preaching — What  was  a  sufficient  call,  to  attempt  introducing  it  into 
places  where  it  had  not  been  usual  before  ? — which,  therefore,  seems  to 
leave  no  room  for  that  ill-natured  anecdote,  respecting  my  father  and 
young  Carey,  to  have  taken  place  this  year,  which  is  said  to  have  been  be. 
fore  the  end  of  1786  :  whereas  my  father  had  left  Northampton  before 
the  Ministers'  Meeting  in  1786.  And  I  must  consider  it  as  very  un- 
likely to  have  occurred  in  1785,  for  several  strong  reasons.  I  never  heard 
of  it,  till  I  saw  it  in  print,  and  cannot  credit  it.  No  -man  prayed  and 
preached  about  the  latter-day  glory,  more  than  my  father  ;  nor  did  I  ever 
hear  such  sentiments  proceed  from  his  lips,  as  are  there  ascribed  to  him. 
It  ii  true,  he  admitted  the  idea  of  a  personal  reign  of  Christ  upon  earthy 


100  MEMOIHS    OF 

"  Oct.  3,  1785. — At  the  monthly  prayer-meeting,  I  felt  very 
tender,  and  was  much  affected  in  prayer.  I  have  frequently 
felt  thus  at  these  opportunities  ;  and  yet  1  have  so  little  heart  to 
wrestle  with  God  alone.  I  cannot  tell  how  to  account  for  this. 

"  5 — Rode  to  Corby,  and  preached  with  much  earnestness 
and  tenderness,  from  Isai.  Ivii.  15.  Felt  some  encouragement 
on  hearing  of  one  person,  at  this  place,  to  whose  conversion,  it 
is  hoped,  my  ministry  has  been  made  instrumental.  The  sermon 
was  on  Jan.  22,  1784,  from  Matt.  xi.  29. 

'<  6. — Returned  from  Corby,  and  rode  to  Spratton  ;  where  I 
preached,  with  much  pleasure,  on  taking  hold  of  GocCs  cove- 
nant :  felt  a  freedom  in  speaking  to  unconverted  sinners. 

«  7 — Went  home,  by  Northampton  :  spake  at  their  church- 
meeting,  but  with  no  manner  of  pleasure.* 

«'  9.-Some  earnestness,  this  morning,  on  sin  being  a  reproach  ; 
but  a  miserable  afternoon,  from  Psa.  xxxii.  6.  Between  after- 
noon and  evening,  I  was  told  of  a  young  man,  to  whom  I  had 
been  made  useful  about  two  years  ago,  having  a  desire  to  join  the 
church.  I  have  for  some  time  felt  a  kind  of  despair,  in  preach- 
ing to  sinners  ;  thinking,  that,  on  account  of  my  being  so  car- 
nally-minded, God  would  never  bless  any  thing  I  said.  This 
instance,  and  that  of  last  Wednesday,  sec  m  to  afford  some  en- 
couragement, and  to  make  me  think  that  it  is  possible,  however, 
tor  God  to  work  even  by  me  /  and  that  when  I  think  nothing 

between  the  first  and  second  resurrection,  (in  which  he  followed  Dr.  Gill, 
and  supposed,  that  this  period  is  properly  to  be  styled,  the  Millennium  ; 
but  he  also  expected,  that,  long  before  this,  the  gospel  would  be  spread  all 
over  the  world,  and  the  fulness  of  the  Jews  and  of  the  Gentiles  be  brought 
into  the  church  ;  and  I  never  remember  his  expressing  an  expectation  of 
miraculous  gifts  being  granted,  for  that  end.  Joseph  Ferry,  a  Baptist  min- 
ister of  Flower,  near  Northampton,  was  the  first  writer,  of  whom  1  have 
any  knowledge,  who  distinguished  between  the  spiritual  and  the  personal 
reign  of  Christ.  If  the  Scotch  Baptists  agreed  with  Dr.  Gill,  on  this  sub- 
ject, I  do  not  see  how  their  opinion,  whether  it  be  right  or  wrong,  could 
prove  any  impediment  to  exertion  for  spreading  the  gospel.  What  they 
denominated  the  latter-day  glory,  or  the  spiritual  reign  of  Christ,  would 
be  none  the  less  desirable,  nor  less  the  object  of  exertion,  on  account  of  its 
being  followed  by  his  personal  reign,  after  the  first  resurrection.  II. 

*  I  know  some  of  his  hearers  thought  this  discourse  peculiarly  striking- 
It  was  on  the  nature  and  advantages  of  true  conversion 


MR.    FULLER.  101 

can  be  done,  then  it  is  possible  for  God  to  work.  I  have  long 
sown  in  tears :  O  that  I  might,  in  some  degree,  at  least,  reap  in 
joy  !  Preached  at  night,  with  an  unusual  affection  of  heart, 
and  sense  of  everlasting  things,  from  Job  xvi.  22.-'  When  a  few 
years  are  come,'  &c. 

"  lO.-This  evening  I  was  visited  by  the  young  man  mention- 
ed yesterday :  heard  him  speak  of  God's  work  upon  his  soul, 
with  some  pleasure. 

«  31. -Within  these  last  two  or  three  weeks,  I  have  had  some 
distressing  feelings.  Twice  I  dreamed  that  I  had  fallen  into 
some  great  wickedness,  and  that  it  was  known.  Though  I 
would  not  pay  any  superstitious  regard  to  dreams ;  yet,  know- 
ing what  a  weak  and  sinful  creature  I  am,  I  fear  lest  it  should 
come  to  pass.  I  wish  the  sense  I  then  felt  of  the  painfuiness 
of  guilt  may  abide  upon  my  mind,  and  serve  to  keep  me  from 
evil.  On  Lord's  day,  the  16th,  I  preached  on  fieace,  in  the 
morning,  and  on  joy ,  in  the  afternoon  ;  yet  had  but  little  of  ,hat 
about  which  I  preached.  On  the  23d,  I  preached,  on  />u£- 
ting  on  the  Lord  Jesus,  with  some  freedom.  On  the  25th, 
preached  at  Walgrave,  or  carnal-mindedness  j  and,  at  Scald- 
well,  from  Job  xvi.  22.  Rode  to  Northampton,  on  the  26th. 
Brother  R.  noticed  the  need  there  is  of  watching,  lest,  while 
we  defend  practical  religion  ministerially,  we  should  neglect 
it  personally ;  referring  to  a  passage  in  Dr.  Owen,  on  tempt- 
ation.* 

*  •'  Entering"  into  temptation  may  be  seen  in  the  least  degrees  of  it. 
As,  for  instance,  when  the  heart  begins  secretly  to  like  the  matter  of  the 
temptation,  and  is  content  to  feed  it,  and  increase  it  by  any  ways  that  it 
may,  without  downright  sin. 

"  Suppose  a  man  begins  to  be  in  repute  for  piety,  wisdom,  learning  or 
the  like  ;  he  is  spoken  of  much  on  that  account ;  his  heart  is  tickled  to 
hear  of  it  ;  and  his  pride  and  ambition  are  affected  with  it.  If  this  man 
now,  -with  all  his  strength,  ply  the  things  from  whence  his  reputation,  es- 
teem, and  glory  among  men  spring,  -with  a  secret  eye  to  have  it  increased, 
he  is  entering  into  temptation  ;  which,  if  he  take  not  heed,  will  quickly 
render  him  a  slave  of  lust.  So  it  was  with  Jehu:  he  perceived  that  his 
repute  for  zeal  began  to  spread  abroad,  and  that  he  got  honour  by  it»  Jo- 
nadab  conies  in  his  way,  a  good  and  holy  man.  *  Now,  (thir  ks  Jehu,)  I 
have  an  opportunity  to  grow  in  the  honour  of  my  zeal/  So  he  calls  Jo- 
nadab  to  him,  and  to  work  he  goes  most  seriously.  The  things  he  did 
were  good  in  themselves  :  but  he  was  entered  into  temptation,  and  served 


102  MEMOIRS    OF 

"Nov.  21,  1785. — For  above  a  fortnight  past,  I  have  been 
chiefly  out  in  journies  to  Bedford,  Arnsby,  JBosworth,  Eitington, 
Guilsborough,  and  Spratton.  Preached  at  each  of  these  places, 
with  more  or  less  earnestness.  Came  home  on  Friday,  and 
spoke  with  some  tenderness,  from  *  Hold  thou  me  up,  and  I 
shall  be  safe.'  On  Lord's  day,  I  preached  on  the  c-vil  nature 
and  dangerous  tendency  of  mental  departures  from  God,  from 
Prov.  xiv.  14.  Also,  on  soul-prosperity^  from  3  John  ii.  Had  a 
tender  and  earnest  mind. 

"  29. — This  week  I  had  some  profitable  conversation  with 
Mrs.  B.  W.  An  observation  from  her  brought  conviction  to 

his  lust  in  all  he  did.  So  it  is  with  many  scholars;  they  find  themselves 
esteemed  ami  favoured  for  their  learning  :  this  takes  hold  of  the  pride  and 
ambition  of  their  hearts  :  hence  they  set  themselves  to  study  with  all  dili- 
gence, day  and  night — a  thing  good  in  itself :  but  they  do  it,  that  they  may 
satisfy  the  thoughts  and  words  of  men,  wheivin  they  delight  :  and  so,  in 
all  they  do,  they  make  provision  for  the  flesh,  to  fulfil  the  lusts  thereof  It 
is  true  God  often  brings  light  out  of  this  darkness,  and  turns  things  to  a 
better  issue  After,  it  may  be,  a  man  has  studied  some  years  with  an  eye 
upon  his  lusts,  ambition,  pride,  and  vain-glory,  rising  early  and  going  to 
bed  late,  to  give  them  satisfaction,  God  comes  in  with  his  grace,  turns  the 
soul  to  himself,  and  so  robs  these  Egyptian  lusts,  and  consecrates  that  to 
the  use  of  the  tabernacle  which  was  provided  for  idols. 

"  Men  may  be  thus  entangled  in  better  things  than  learning' ;  even  in 
the  profession  of  piety,  in  their  labour  in  the  ministry ',  and  the  like. 

"  Some  men's  profession  is  a  snare  to  them,  They  are  in  reputation, 
and  are  much  honoured  on  the  account  of  their  profession  and  strict  walk- 
ing. This  often  falls  out  in  the  days  wherein  we  live,  wherein  all  things 
are  carried  by  parties.  Some  find  themselves,  on  the  accounts  mentioned, 
perhaps,  to  be  the  darlings  and  ingcntia  decora,  or  glory,  of  their  party. 
If  thoughts  hereof  secretly  insinuate  themselves  into  their  hearts,  and  in- 
fluence them  to  more  than  ordinary  diligence  and  activity  in  their  way  and 
profession,  they  are  entangled,  and  instead  of  aiming  at  more  glory,  had 
need  lie  in  the  dust,  in  a  sense  of  their  own  vileness  ;  and  so  close  is  this 
temptation,  that  oftentimes  it  requires  no  food  to  feed  upon,  but  that  he 
who  is  entangled  with  it  do  avoid  all  means  and  ways  of  honour  and  repu- 
tation, so  that  it  can  but  whisper  in  the  heart  that  that  avoidance  is  hon- 
ourable. 

"  The  same  may  be  the  condition  with  men,  as  was  said,  in  preaching, 
the  gospel,  in  the  work  of  the  ministry.  Many  things  in  that  work  may 
procure  them  esteem — their  ability,  their  plainness,  their  frequency,  their 
success  .•  and  all,  in  this  sense,  may  be  fuel  unto  temptation.  Let  then,  a 
man  know,  that  when  he  likes  that  which  feeds  his  lust,  and  keeps  it  up, 
by  ways  either  good  in  themselves,  or  not  downright  sinful,  he  is  entered 
into  temptation."  pp.  80,  &e. 


MB.    FULLER* 

my  mind,  viz.  '  That  ministers  were  not  now  in  general  so 
spiritual  in  their  conversation  as  formerly.'  I  wish  this  may  do 
me  good  !  I  feel  very  low  in  mind  a  great  part  of  this  week- 
It  seems  to  me,  that  when  I  was  last  at  N.  (on  the  1 8th,)  I  had 
so  little  heavenly-mindedness,  that  my  dear  Brother  was  grieved 
and  dispirited  to  see  me.  On  Friday  I  wrote  to  him  on  these 
subjects,  and  received  an  answer  on  Lord's  day,  in  which  he 
laments  that  4  surely  there  is  scarcely  any  thing  worth  the  name 
of  religion  left  upon  earth  !'*  Had  some  pleasure  on  church 
meeting  day,  (the  24th,)  in  speaking  from  Isai.  xxxv.  6,  7.  and 
on  Lord's  day,  at  the  Supper,  I  preached  with  considerable  en- 
largement from  Prov.  xviii.  10.  and  in  the  evening  on  salvation 
by  grace,  from  Acts  xv.  1 1. 

«  — Preached  at  Burton,  on  Psa.  ex.  2.  Some  serious  con- 
versation with  a  friend,  on  the  danger  of  inordinate  attachment 
to  a  minister,  Sec. 

"  Dec.  6  — Pretty  much  taken  up  of  late  in  learning  some- 
thing of  the  Greek  language.  Many  painful  feelings  for 
young  people,  excited  by  the  misconduct  of  two  persons,  who 
though  they  never  made  any  profession  of  religion,  yet  were 
brought  up  under  the  word.  O  what  an  easy  yoke  is  Christ's, 
and  what  an  hard  one  is  that  of  Satan !  I  hope  there  is  something 
of  a  work  of  God  going  forward  amongst  us.  I  have  lately  heard 
of  six  or  seven,  who  have  been  observed  to  hear  with  much  at- 
tention and  affection. 

«'  7.— Visted  one  of  our  friends,  and  had  some  tender  conver- 
sation on  the  state  of  our  young  people ;  felt  my  heart  go  out 
for  their  salvation. 

«  11. — I  had  a  very  good  day  in  preaching  :  in  the  morning, 
en  <  My  God  shall  supply  all  your  need,'  &c.  and  in  the  after- 
noon on  the  gospel  being  «  a  savour  of  life  unto  life,'  &c.  The 
latter  subject  was  exceeding  awful,  and  my  spirit  very  solemn, 
Rode  to  Geddington,  and  preached  on  Nathaniel's  question  to 
Philip,  with  Philip's  answer, 

*  I  know  that  this  friend  had  a  very  different  reason  for  appearing  dis- 
pirited, and  that  he  made  a  remark  respecting  this  very  visit  of  Mr.  Fuller 
— "  He  prayed  with  great  spirituality,  his  conversation  edifying.  The 
Lord  preserve  and  sanctify  our  friendship !" 


504  MEMOIRS    09 

"  18. — To-day  I  had  a  very  tender  forenoon,  in  preaching 
from  Jer.  i.  4,  5.  O  how  my  heart  went  forth  in  desire  after 
the  salvation  of  souls,  for  some  of  the  greatest  of  sinners;  par- 
ticularly for  a  poor  wretched  young  woman,  the  daughter  of 
one  of  our  members.  She  had  been,  through  her  own  wicked 
conduct,  kept  away  from  public  worship  for  a  year  past.  I 
lately  heard  that  she  was  in  a  "state  of  despair,  and  had  resolved 
never  to  come  to  meeting  again.  But  this  morning  she  appeared 
in  the  meeting.  The  sight  of  her  much  affected  me,  and  was 
the  means  of  a  very  tender  forenoon.  In  the  afternoon  I 
preached  on  the  great  things  of  God's  law  being  counted  as 
strange  things ;  but  alas !  my  heart  seems  as  strange  and  as 
alien  from  the  spirit  of  true  religion,  as  any  thing  I  can  talk 
about !  O  what  a  poor,  mutable  creature  am  I !  Somewhat  re- 
vived to-night  in  hearing  more  about  a  Mrs.  D.  I  hope  she 
is  a  godly  woman.  I  find  she  had  a  daughter,  who  died  about 
twelve  months  ago,  and  who  gave  strong  evidence  of  her  piety 
while  her  father  and  mother  were  in  ignorance.  The  mother 
now  says,  that  she  believes  the  means  of  her  daughter's  conver- 
sion was,  her  attending  on  a  child's  burial,  with  some  other 
children,  and  hearing  me  speak  to  the  young  people  present  on 
that  occasion.  It  seems  a  strange  thing  that  God  should  do  any 
thing  by  me  1" 

"  1786. — Some  painful  reflections  in  thinking  on  my  vast 
deficiencies.  Another  year  is  gone,  and  what  what  have  I  done 
for  God  ?  O  that  my  life  were  more  devoted  to  God  !  I  feel  as 
if  I  could  wish  to  set  out  afresh  for  heaven,  but  alas,  my  de» 
sires  seem  but  too  much  like  those  of  the  sluggard. 

"  Jan.  8. — Very  earnest  this  morning  in  public  prayer.  O 
that  God  may  work  on  the  minds  of  our  youth  and  children. 
Some  tenderness  in  preaching  three  times  to  day,  from  2  Sam. 
xxii.  47.  «  The  Lord  liveth,  Sec.'  Psa.  xlv.  10,  1 1. «  Hearken,  O 
daughter,'  &c.  and  Eph.  ii.  12.  «  Without  God  in  the  world.'  I 
hope  there  is  somewhat  of  a  work  of  God  going  on  amongst 
us.  I  have  been  visited  by  a  young  man  who  gives  very  prom- 
ising evidence  of  being  a  subject  of  true  religion,  so  far  as  can 
be  judged  by  a  conversation.  Also  a  young  woman  has  been 
with  me,  who  appears  to  be  very  tender-hearted,  meek,  and 
lowly  in  mind.  Some  things  of  this  sort  are  encouraging. 


MR.   FULLER.  105 

"  15.— Preackcd  at  home  on  keeping  the  Sabbath,  from  Isa. 
Iviii.  13,  1 4.  At  night  went  to  Warkton  and  with  more  than 
usual  feeling  and  affection,  preached  from  Luke  xiii.  3.  On 
Tuesday  preached  at  Geddington,  about  blind  Bartimeus :  next 
morning  rode  to  Bedford,  and  to  Shefford  with  brother  Sutciiff, 
where  I  preached  on  putting  on  the  Lord  Jesus.  Felt  some 
pleasure  there,  in  company  with  some  other  ministers,  in  ad- 
vising the  people  to  moderation  in  their  opposition  to  a  minister 

who  is  now  a  probationer  at  S Heard  Mr.  Carver  at 

Southhill,  and  preached  at  Bedford.  Returned  home  on  Fri- 
day. I  have  heard  since  of  the  sermon  at  Bedford,  on  soul 
prosperity,  being  blessed  to  the  conversion  of  a  poor  man. 

[See  the  account  of  his  exercises  of  mind,  about  this  time  re- 
specting the  illness  and  death  of  his  daughter  Sally,  in  Chap. 
IX.] 

"  April  16. — To-day  I  felt  some  encouragement  in  my  work, 
from  hearing  of  a  young  man  hopefully  converted,  by  hearing 
me  preach  from  Col.  i.  13 

«  28 — Riding  to  Towcester,  was  exceedingly  affected  and 
importunate  with  God  for  the  soul  of  my  poor  little  girl.  I  felt 
indeed  the  force  of  those  words,  <  Lord,  to  whom  shall  we  go  ? 
Thou  hast  the  words  of  eternal  life  !'  The  fc  words  of  eternal 
life* — O,  of  what  worth  to  an  immortal,  guilty  creature — a. 
creature  subject  to  eternal  death  !  My  heart  seemed  to  be  dis- 
solved in  earnest  cries  for  mercy,  particularly  on  the  other  side 
of  Blisworth.  Enjoyed  a  good  opportunity  in  hearing  the  charge 
to  Mr.  Skinner,  by  Brother  Sutciiff,  from  Matth.  xxviii.  2O 
4  Lo  I  am  with  you  always,'  Sec.  and  the  sermon  to  the  church  by 
Brother  R.  jun.  from  Heb.  xiii.  22.  '  Suffer  the  word  of  ex- 
hortation.' I  preached  in  the  evening,  from  Psa.  i.  2,  3.  with 
some  pleasure. 

"  June. — Though  I  have  felt  resignation  and  serenity,  as  to 
the  death  of  my  child,  since  that  event  was  decided  by  an  infal- 
lible God  ;  yet,  alas  !  I  feel  the  insufficiency  of  trouble,  however 
heavy,  to  destroy  or  mortify  sin,  I  have  had  sad  experience 
of  my  own  depravity,  even  while  under  the  very  rod  of  God  ! 

«  6 — Rode  to  Northampton  to  our  annual  Association.    J  am 
glad  to  find  the  state  of  the  churches  upon  the  whole  encouraging. 
.   14 


106  MEMOIRS    Of 

The  next  day  I  and  Mr.  Hopper  and  Mr.  Sutcliff  preached ;  but 
I  wanted  more  spirituality. 

"  8 — We  had  a  very  affecting  time  in  communicating  ex- 
periences. For  my  part,  I  fear  something  more  awful  than 
the  death  of  the  child  awaits  me.  Though  I  have  been  in  the 
fire,  yet  my  dross  is  not  removed  j  nay,  it  seems  to  be  increased. 
My  family  is  now  afflicted  nearly  throughout !  For  all  this  his 
anger  is  not  turned  away,  but  his  hand  is  stretched  out  still. 

"11.  Lord's  day. — Had  a  good  day,  on  the  Lord's  giving  us 
peace  by  all  means.  I  know  not  how  I  go  on.*  On  the  Lord's 
days  I  am  tender-hearted,  and  seem  disposed  to  lie  low  before 
God,  and  to  be  more  watchful  and  spiritual ;  but  alas,  how 
soon  do  I  forget  God  I  I  have  a  fountain  of  poison  in  my  very 
nature.  Surely  I  am  as  a  beast  before  thee !  I  have  been 
preaching  at  Moulton  and  Hardingstone  this  week,  and  seemed 
to  feel  at  both  places  ;  and  yet  1  am  far  from  a  spiritual  frame 
of  mind.  I  felt  some  tenderness  in  riding  home  on  June  the 
16th,  in  thinking  on  Jer.  xxxi.  2— *  The  people  that  were  left 
of  the  sword  found  grace  in  the  wilderness.'  On  the  Lord's 
day,  the  18th,  had  a  pretty  good  day,  in  preaching  from  the 
above  text.  I  heard  last  week  that  Mr.  Hall  of  Arnsby  had 
been  preaching  from  Prov.  xxx.  2. — 4  Surely  I  am  more  brutish 
than  any  man,  8tc.'  I  am  sure  that  passage  is  more  applicable 
to  me  than  it  can  be  to  him :  I  therefore  preached  from  it 
to-day.  At  night  I  preached  a  very  searching  discourse,  from 
Lam.  iii.  40.  chiefly  for  the  purpose  of  self-conviction." 

[After  this  sixteen  or  eighteen  leaves  have  been  destroyed, 
and  the  next  entry  that  remains  is  dated — ] 

"  Oct.  3,  1789. — For  above  a  year  and  a  half  I  have  written 
nothing.  It  has  seemed  to  me  that  my  life  was  not  worth  writ- 
ing. Two  or  three  years  ago  my  heart  began  wretchedly  to 
degenerate  from  God.  Soon  after  my  child  Sally  died,  I  sunk 
into  a  sad  state  of  lukewarmness ;  and  have  felt  the  effects  of 
it  ever  since.  I  feel  at  times  a  longing  after  the  lost  joys  of 
God's  salvation ;  but  cannot  recover  them.  I  have  backslidden 
frpm  God ;  and  yet  I  may  rather  be  said  to  be  habitually  de- 
jected on  account  of  it,  than  earnestly  to  repent  of  it.  I  find 

*  2  Cor.  xii.  7. 1  think  would  partly  explain  it. 


MR.    FULLER.  10? 

much  hardness  of  heart,  and  a  spirit  of  inactivity  has  laid  hold 
of  me.  I  feel  that  to  be  carnally-minded  is  death.  My  spiritual 
enemies  have  been  too  much  for  me.  Sometime  ago  I  set 
apart  a  day  for  fasting  and  prayer,  and  seemed  to  get  some 
strength  in  pleading  with  God.  The  very  next  day,  as  i  re- 
member, I  found  my  heart  so  wandering  from  God,  and  such 
a  load  of  guilt  contracted,  that  1  was  affrighted  at  my  own 
prayer  the  preceeding  day,  lest  it  should  have  provoked  the 
Lord  to  punish  me,  by  leaving  me  so  suddenly  ;  and  I  have 
not  set  apart  a  day  to  fast  and  pray  since.  But  surely  this  was 
one  of  Satan's  devices,  by  which  1  have  been  imposed  upon. 
Perhaps  also,  I  trusted  too  much  to  my  fasting  and  praying, 
and  did  not  on  that  account,  follow  it  with  sufficient  watch- 
fulness. 

"  In  the  month  of  May  I  preached  with  some  feeling  from 
Job  xxix.  2, — -  O  that  it  were  with  me  as  in  months  past,'  Sec. 
During  this  summer,  I  have  sometimes  thought  what  joy  Christ- 
ians might  possess  in  this  world,  were  they  but  to  improve  their 
opportunities  and  advantages  What  grounds  of  joy  does  the 
gospel  afford  I  What  joy  was  possessed  by  the  primitive  Christ- 
ians !  I  have  preached  two  or  three  times  upon  these  subjects. 
Once  from  John  xv.  11. — '  These  things  have  I  spoken  unto 
you,  that  my  joy  might  remain  in  you,  and  that  your  joy  might 
be  full  1*  Another  time  from  Neh-  viii.  lO.-p-'  The  joy  of  the 
Lord  is  your  strength.'  And  again  from  Mark  xi.  24.  «  What- 
soever things  ye  desire  when  ye  pray,  believe  that  ye  shall  re- 
ceive them,  and  ye  shall  receive  them  ;'  in  which  the  chief  sen- 
timent on  which  I  insisted  was,  that  confidence  in  God's  goodness 
tvas  necessary  to  our  success  in  firayer.  Another  time  1 
preached  from  4  Count  it  all  joy  when  ye  fall  into  divers  tempt- 
ations.' 

"  These  subjects  have  tended  sometimes  to  make  me  long 
after  that  joy  and  peace  in  believing,  which  I  have  heretofore 
found.  But  joy  of  heart  is  a  feeling  I  cannot  yet  recover. 

"  Jan.  20,  1790. — During  the  last  quarter  of  a  year  I  seem 
to  have  gained  some  ground  in  spiritual  things.  I  have  read 
some  of  Jonathan  Edwards's  Sermons,  which  have  left  a  deep 
impression  on  my  heart.  1  have  attended  more  constantly  than 


108  MEMOIRS    OF 

heretofore  to  private  prayer,  and  felt  a  little  renewed  strength. 
Sometimes  also  I  have  been  much  affected  in  public  prayer 
particularly  on  Monday,  January  the  4th,  at  the  monthly  prayer 
meeting.  I  felt  much  afraid  lest  some  uncomfortable  debates 
which  we  have  had  in  the  church,  though  now  finished,  should 
have  grieved  the  Holy  Spirit,  and  quenched  our  affection  ior 
each  other,  and  so  lest  our  spiritual  welfare  as  a  church,  should 
be  essentially  injured. 

"  Sometimes  I  have  been  4^scouraged,  and  afraid  that  God 
would  never  bless  me  again.  In  my  preaching,  though  1  am  at 
times  affected  with  what  I  say,  yet  as  to  doing  good  to  others, 
I  go  on  as  if  I  had  no  hope  of  it.  Repeated  disappointments, 
and  long  want  of  success,  make  me  feel  as  if  I  were  not  to 
expect  success. 

"Last  Friday  evening  I  was  affected  with  the  subject  of 
divine  ivithdrawment^  and  especially  with  the  thought  of  being 
contented  in  such  a  state.  If  we  lose  our  daily  bread  we  can- 
not live,  if  we  lose  our  health  we  are  miserable,  if  we  lose  a 
dear  friend  we  are  the  same  :  and  can  we  lose  the  bread  of  life, 
the  health  of  our  souls,  and  the  best  friend  of  all,  and  be  un- 
concerned ?  Last  Lord's  day  I  preached  upon  the  desirableness 
of  nearness  to  God,  from  Psa.  xxvii.  9.—*  Hide  not  thy  face 
from  me  ;  put  not  thy  servant  away  in  anger  ;  thou  hast  been 
my  help  ;  leave  me  not,  neither  forsake  me,  O  God  of  my  sal- 
vation.' 

Feb.  1 6 — For  these  last  three  weeks  I  have  too  much  again 
relapsed  into  a  kind  of  thoughtlessness.  I  have  felt  a  little  in 
preaching,  but  not  much.  One  day,  I  was  looking  over  Dr. 
Owen  on  the  Mortification  of  Sin.  Speaking  of  the  evil  of  sin 
in  the  soul  unmortified,  he  says, — ( It  will  take  away  a  man's 
usefulness  in  his  generation.  His  works,  his  endeavours,  his 
labours  seldom  receive  a  blessing  from  God.  If  he  be  a  preach, 
er,  God  commonly  blows  upon  his  ministry,  so  that  he  shall 
labour  in  the  fire,  and  not  be  honoured  with  success.  This,  in 
a  great  degree,  is  realized  in  me. 

"  March  27. — Some  weeks  ago  I  thought  I  felt  myself  to 
gain  ground  by  closet  prayer ;  but  I  have  lately  relapsed  again 
loo  much  into  indifference.  Yesterday  I  read  Jonathan  Ed- 
wards's  two  sermons,  On  the  imfiortance  of  a  thorough  know/- 


Mft.    FCLLEB-  lO'J 

edge  of  divine  truth-,  from  Heb.  v.  12.  I  felt  this  effect — a  de- 
sire to  rise  earlier,  to  read  more,  and  to  make  the  discovery  of 
truth  more  a  business.  This  morning  I  have  read  another  of  his 
sermons,  on  God  the  Christian's  portion^  from  Psa.  Ixxiii.  25« 
The  latter  part  comes  very  close,  and  I  feel  myself  at  a  loss 
what  to  judge  as  to  God's  being  my  chief  good.  He  asks, 
whether  we  had  rather  live  in  this  world  rich,  and  without  God, 
or  poor  and  with  him  ?  Perhaps  I  should  not  be  so  much  at  a 
loss  to  decide  this  question  as  another ;  namely,  Had  I  rather 
be  rich  in  this  world,  and  enjoy  but  little  of  God  ;  or  poor,  and 
enjoy  much  of  God  ?  I  am  confident  the  practice  of  &reat 
numbers  of  professing  Christians  declares,  that  they  prefer  the 
former  ;  and  in  some  instances  I  feel  guilty  of  the  same  thing. 

"In  the  course  of  this  summer,  (1790)  I  have  sometimes 
enjoyed  a  tenderness  of  heart  in  preaching.  On  June  27th,  at 
the  Lord's  supper,  J  was  affected  with  this  subject,  *  Do  this 
in  remembrance  of  me.'  I  was  also  greatly  uff.  cted  on  Sepi 
tember  5,  in  preaching  from  Gal.  vi.  7.  '  Whatsoever  a  man 
soweth  that  shall  he  also  reap.'  But  yet  in  general  I  have  vat 
little  of  the  joys  of  salvation.  I  do  not  feel  tempted  to  f  - 
heretofore,  but  yet  all  is  not  r.'ght.  O  for  a  ck,bui  walk  with 
God! 

"  At  the  close  of  this  year  the  review  of  my  life  afforded  me 
neither  pleasure  nor  what  may  be  called  pain ;  but  rathtr  a 
kind  of  discouragement  too  common  of  late  with  me. 

"  From  April  (1790)  I  have  begun  to  expound  the  book  of 
Psalms,  and  sometimes  have  enjoyed  pleasure  therein." 

u  179 1. — In  the  spring  of  this  year  there  appeared  a  religious 
concern  among  some  of  our  young  people.  I  proposed  to 
meet  them  once  a  week  at  the  vestry,  to  talk  and  pray  with 
them.  I  hope  this  has  been  of  use  both  to  me  and  them.  I 
find  there  are  some  hopeful  appearances  in  neighbouring- 
churches.  May  the  Lord  revive  his  own  work. 

"  I  feel  some  return  of  peace,  but  am  not  as  I  would  be. 
Reading  Owen  on  Spiritual-mincledness,  I  feel  afraid  lest  all 
should  not  be  right  with  me  at  last.  What  I  have  of  spiritual- 
ity, as  I  account  it,  seems  rather  occasional  than  habitual. 

"  Towards  the  latter  end  of  tliis  summer,  I  heard  of  &ome 
revival  of  religion  about  Walgrave  and  Guilsborough  ;  and  that 


110  MEMOIRS    OF 

the  means  of  it  were  their  setting  apart  days  for  fasting  and 
prayer.  From  hence  I  thought  we  had  been  long  praying  for 
the  revival  of  God's  cause,  and  the  spread  of  the  gospel  among 
the  heathen,  &c.  and  perhaps  God  would  begin  with  us  at  home 
first.  I  was  particularly  affected  with  this  thought,  by  finding 
it  in  the  sixty -seventh  Psalm,  which  1  was  expounding  about 
the  same  time  :  O  that  God's  being  merciful  to  ws,  and  bless- 
ing us,  might  be  the  means  of  his  way  being  made  known  upon 
earth,  and  his  saving  health  among  all  nations  ;  at  least  among 
a  part  of  them. 

"  O  to  be  spiritually  alive  among  ourselves  !  One  Monday 
evening,  I  think  in  October,  I  told  our  friends  of  some  such 
things,  and  prayed  with  them  with  more  than  usual  affection. 
I  was  particularly  encouraged  by  the  promise  of  giving  the 
Holy  Spirit  to  them  that  ask.  Surely  if  ever  I  wrestled  with 
God  in  my  life  I  did  so  then,  for  more  grace,  for  forgiveness, 
for  the  restoration  of  the  joys  of  salvation  ;  and  that  not  only 
for  myself,  but  for  the  generality  of  Christians  among  us, 
whom  I  plainly  perceived  to  be  in  a  poor  lukewarm  state, 
when  compared  with  the  primitive  Christians. 

"  The  27th  of  December,  I  set  apart  for  fasting  and  prayer. 
I  felt  tender  in  the  course  of  the  day.  Thought  with  some 
encouragement  of  Psa.  cxix.  176. — «  I  have  gone  astray  like  a 
lost  sheep  ;  seek  thy  servant,  for  I  do  not  forget  thy  command- 
ments.' I  employed  a  considerable  part  of  the  day  in  reading 
Owen  on  the  Mortification  of  Sin.  A  review  of  the  past  year, 
and  of  several  past  years,  tended  to  humble  me. 

«  I  felt  tender  on  Friday  evening,  December  30,  in  addressing 
my  friends  from  Psa.  xc.  14  on  the  mercy  of  God  as  the  origin 
of  all  solid  joy. 

'*  1792 — This  year  was  begun,  or  nearly  so,  with  a  day  of 
solemn  fasting  and  prayer,  kept  by  us  as  a  church.  It  was  a 
most  affecting  time  with  me  and  many  more. — Surely  we  never 
had  such  a  spirit  of  prayer  amongst  us  ! 

«  On  the  2d  of  April,  we  lost  our  dear  and  worthy  deacon, 
Mr.  Beeby  Wallis.*  The  next  church-meeting  was  kept  as  a 

*  Mr.  Fuller  published  a  funeral  sermon  for  this  very  excellent  man, 
in  which  he  has  given  a  just  delineation  of  his  character,  and  some  ac- 


MR.    FULLER.  Ill 

dlay  of  solemn  fasting  and  prayer.  During  this  and  the  last 
year  we  have  had  a  good  deal  of  religious  concern  among  the 
young  people  of  the  congregation.  I  setup  a  private  meet- 
ing, in  which  I  might  read,  and  pray,  and  converse  with  them  ; 
and  have  found  it  good  both  to  them  and  me.  This  spring 
several  of  them  joined  the  church.*' 

[For  the  exercises  of  his  mind  in  the  time  of  Mrs.  Fuller's 
last  illness  and  death,  see  Chap.  IX.] 

"  July  13,  1794 — Within  the  last  two  years  I  have  experi- 
enced perhaps  as  much  peace  and  calmness  of  mind,  as  at  any 
former  period.  I  have  been  enabled  to  walk  somewhat  more 
near  to  God  than  heretofore  ;  and  I  find  that  there  is  nothing 
that  affords  such  a  preservative  against  sin.  «  If  we  walk  in 

count  of  his  ancestors,  who  were  the  first  pastors  of  the  Baptist  church  at 
Kettering. 

He  was  buried  under  a  sycamore-tree,  which  he  had  planted  in  the  meet- 
ing yard,  the  ground  having  been  originally  given  by  him  ;  and  the  fol- 
'owing  epitaph,  composed  by  Mr.  Fuller,  was  inscribed  on  his  tomb  : 

Kind  Sycamore,  preserve  beneath  thy  shade 
The  precious  dust  of  him  who  cherish'd  thee  : 
Nor  thee  alone  ;  a  plant  to  him  more  dear 
He  cherish'd,  and  with  fostering  hand  uprearM. 
Active  and  generous  in  virtue's  cause, 
With  solid  wisdom,  strict  integrity, 
And  unaffected  piety,  he  liv'd 
Belov'd  amongst  us,  and  belov'd  he  died. 
Beneath  an  AHon-Bacuth  Jacob  wept  t 
Beneath  thy  shade  we  mourn  a  heavier  loss. 

His  widow,  Mrs  Martha  WalHs,  a  valuable  friend  to  Mr.  Fuller,  and 
to  the  cause  of  Christ,  long  survived  her  husband,  and  entered  into  rest* 
Oct.  17,  1812  She  was  buried  in  the  same  vault  with  him  ;  and  the  epi- 
taph was  altered  as  follows: 

Kind  Sycamore,  preserve  beneath  thy  shade 
The  precious  dust  of  those  who  cherish'd  thee  : 
Kor  thee  alone  ;    a  plant  to  them   more  dear 
They  cherish*d,  and  with  fostering  hand  uprear'd 
Amongst  whose  fairest  and  most  fruitful  boughs 
The  name  of  WALL  is  has  for  ages  rank'd: 
And  still  it  lives,  and  shall  for  years  to  come 
lave  fragrant  ia  our  recollecting  thoughts, 


112  MEMOIRS    OF 

the  Spirit,  we  shall  not  fulfil  the  lusts  of  the  flesh.'  This  pas- 
sage has  been  of  great  use  to  me,  ever  since  I  preached  from 
it,  which  was  on  June  3,  1792.  The  idea  on  which  I  then  prin- 
cipally insisted  was,  that  sin  is  to  be  overcome,  not  so  much  by 
a  direct  or  mere  resistance  of  it >  as  by  ofifiosing  other  jirincijiLCs 
and  considerations  to  it.  This  sentiment  has  been  abundantly 
verified  in  my  experience  :  so  far  as  I  have  walked  in  the  Spir- 
it, so  far  has  my  life  been  holy  and  happy  ;  and  I  have  experi- 
enced a  good  degree  of  these  blessings,  compared  with  former 
limes,  though  but  a  very  small  degree,  compared  with  what  I 
ought  to  aspire  after. 

[See  more  of  this  date  in  Chap.  VII,] 
"  I  have  lately  spoken  some  strong  language  rgainstthe  sin 
of  covetousness.  O  that  I  may  never  be  left  to  that  spirit  my- 
self !  I  have  been  concerned,  this  morning,  lest  I  should.  We 
know  but  little  of  what  we  are,  till  we  are  tried  !  I  dreamed,  last 
night,  that  a  person  of  a  religious  and  generous  character  was 
making  his  observations  upon  Dissenters — that  there  were  but 
few  eminently  holy  and  benevolent  characters  among  them.  On 
waking,  my  thoughts  ran  upon  this  subject.  I  felt,  that  there 
was  too  much  truth  in  it;  (though,  perhaps,  no  truth,  if  they  were 
viewed  in  comparison  with  other  denominations  ;)  and  possessed 
an  ardent  desire,  that  let  others  do  what  they  would,  I  and  mine 
might  live,  not  to  ourselves,  but  to  Him  who  died  for  us  !  It 
seemed  a  lovely  thing,  which  is  said  of  Christ — l  He  went  about, 
doing  good  I*  O  that,  whatever  I  may,  at  any  time  possess  of 
this  world's  good,  it  might  be  consecrated  to  God  !  The  Lord 
ever  preserve  me  from  the  mean  vice  of  covetousness  ! 

« I  felt  very  tender  last  night,  in  preaching  from  Job  xxix.  2. 
-**  O  that  I  were  as  in  months  past,'  &c.  I  do  think,  the  last 
two  years  have  been  the  best  two  years  of  my  life  ;  but  within 
a  few  months,  I  have  felt  a  spirit  of  declension  coming  upon 
me. 

«  May  12,  1796. — Fora  long  time  past,  I  have  written  noth- 
ing :  not  because  I  have  been  uncomfortable  ;  perhaps  I  never 
lived  a  year  in  my  life,  in  which  I  enjoyed  more  of  the  pleasures 
of  religion,  than  in  1795,  especially  at  the  Association,  which 
-was  held  at  Kettering :  but  my  time  has  been  so  taken  up, 
about  missionary  and  other  public  matters,  and  1  have  had 


MR.    FULLER.  113 

.*>  much  writing  on  those  subjects ;  that  hence,  and  on  account 
of  writing  being  against  the  complaint  in  my  head,  I  have  de- 
clined it  in  this  book." 

I  am  satisfied  that  intelligent  readers  will  know  what  use  to 
make  of  these  valuable  extracts  ;  never  intended  indeed  for  pub- 
lic view,  and  almost  prohibited  from  being  seen ;  but  which  I  have 
ventured  to  make,  under  a  strong  persuasion  that  if  I  could 
now  consult  my  dear  departed  friend,  he  would  be  satisfied 
with  the  reasons  of  my  conduct ;  and  indeed  apprehending  that 
I  have  done  only  as  he  would  have  done  by  another  in  like  cir- 
cumstances. Much  there  is  to  show  what  a  poor  creature  is 
man,  saved,  renewed  man,  even  al  his  best  estate.  I  do  not  ob- 
ject, and  I  am  very  sure  he  would  not,  to  the  idea,  that  there 
may  be  Christians  who  have  got  nearer  to  the  mark  of  our 
calling,  and  who  have  had  a  fuller  enjoyment  even  beforehand 
of  the  prize :  would  to  God  they  were  more  numerous,  and 
their  attainments  far  higher.  But  after  all,  I  am  fully  satisfied) 
that  the  best  believer  on  earth  has  need  of  daily  pardon,  daily 
aid,  daily  healing ;  and  that  Mr.  Edwards  had  good  ground  for 
the  conviction  he  once  expressed — "  There  is  no  dependence 
upon  self.  It  is  to  no  purpose  to  resolve,  except  we  depend 
on  the  grace  of  God  ;  for  if  if  ivtre  not  for  his  mere  grace-) 
one  might  be  a  very  good  man  one  day,  and  a  very  wicked  one 
the  next." 

«  Nevertheless,  with  all  my  dear  Brother's  acknowledged 
defects  and  painful  conflicts,  there  was  an  unspeakable  differ, 
ence  between  his  religion,  and  that  of  some  high  professors  in 
the  present  day,  whose  only  concern  it  is  to  maintain  a  confi- 
dence of  their  own  safety,  a  confidence  too  often  indeed  '  with- 
out evidence,  from  Scripture,  sense,  or  reason  ;'  and  if  this  can 
be  attained,  (and  the  worst  of  all  spirits  would  gladly  help  them 
to  it,)  they  care  but  little  for  sins  of  omission,  and  not  much  for 
those  of  commission :  godly  jealousy  they  discard,  and  duty 
they  cannot  endure.  Individuals  it  is  not  my  province  to  judge? 
and  gladly  would  I  hope  that  some  men  may  have  their  hearts 
right  with  God  who  express  themselves  very  incautiously.  I 
do  not  know  who  made  the  hymn  which  I  have  seen  printed  in 
more  collections  than  one  ;  but  nothing  I  ever  saw  is  more  lia- 
15 


114  MEMOIRS,    &C. 

ble  to  the  worst  construction  in  the  world,  than  such  lines  as 
these  : 

"  Barren  although  my  soul  remain, 
And  not  one  bud  of  grace  appear, 
JV»  fruit  of  all  my  toil  and  pain, 
But  sin  and  only  sin  be  here  :" 

Yet  I  will  trust  and  not  be  afraid,  is  the  sentiment  that  fol- 
lows !  Surely  no  man  who  lives  in  the  habitual  commission  of 
the  grossest  sins  can  describe  his  case  in  stronger  language 
than  this  ;  not  even  the  vilest  wretch  that  ever  lived  in  Admah 
or  Zeboim,  or  either  of  the  other  cities  of  the  plain. 

"  This  I  say  ;"  says  Dr.  Owen,  "  under  an  habitual  declension 
or  decay  of  grace  in  the  spirituality  of  our  affections,  no  man 
can  keep  or  maintain  a  gracious  sense  of  the  love  of  God,  or 
of  peace  with  him."  Sjiiritual-mindedness,  278.  "  Some  would 
very  desirously  have  evangelical  joy,  peace,  and  assurance,  to 
countenance  them  in  their  evil  frames  and  careless  walking. 
And  some  have  attempted  to  reconcile  these,  to  the  ruin  of  their 
souls.  But  it  will  not  be.  Without  the  diligent  exercise  of  the 
grace  of  obedience,  we  shall  never  enjoy  the  grace  of  consola- 
tion." Meditations  on  the  Glory  of  Christ,  p.  168. 

My  dear  departed  friend  evidently  hungered  and  thirsted 
after  righteousness  ;  his  soul  panted  after  God,  the  living  God  : 
while  others  admired  his  zeal,  his  diligence,  his  activity,  Sec- 
he  was  often  bewailing  his  lukewarmness,  his  sloth,  and  inac- 
tivity. He  had  a  deep  sense  of  what  a  Christian  ought  to  be  ; 
he  understood  the  spirituality  of  the  divine  law  ;  he  felt  the  obli- 
gations of  the  gospel,  which  did  not  supersede,  but  confirm, 
enhance,  and  endear  prior  obligations ;  and  hence,  while  he 
trusted  to  behold  God's  face  in  the  imputed  righteousness  of 
another,  he  could  not  be  satisfied  till  he  awoke  in  the  likeness 
of  his  blessed  Saviour.  Now,  I  am  well  persuaded,  he  is  with 
him,  and  is  perfectly  like  him  ;  for  he  sees  him  as  he  is.  He 
has  fought  the  good  fight,  he  has  finished  his  course,  he  has 
kept  the  faith,  and  has  received  the  crown  of  righteousness, 
which  the  Lord  the  righteous  Judge  will  give  to  aJl  them  that 
love  his  appearing. 


CHAP.  VI. 

AN    ACCOUNT    OF    MR.  FULLER*S  VARIOUS  PUBLICATIONS, 

BOTH     OF     A     POLEMICAL    AND    PRACTICAL     NATURK 

HIS     EARNEST  CONCERN  TO   BE    LLD    INTO  THE    TRUTH 

A    SOLEMN    COVENANT    WITH    GOD BRIEF  NOTICES 

FROM  HIS    DIARY  ON  THIS    HEAD REMARKS  ON    SOME 

OF  HIS  WORKS  INTERSPERSED  WITH  THE  CATALOGUE 
LIST  OF  MAGAZINE  PAPERS INTIMATION  OF  UN- 
FINISHED REMAINS. 

THAT  Treatise  which  was  written*  first  by  Mr.  Fuller, 
was  of  a  controversial  nature,  as  many  of  his  subsequent 
publications  were.  It  has  been  seen  in  the  second  chapter,  by 
what  means  he  was  led,  at  a  very  early  period  in  his  religious 
course,  to  attend  to  various  theological  controversies  :  and 
though  his  first  diary,  in  Chapter  III.  shows  that  he  was  very 
reluctant  to  enter  into  polemical  discussions  before  the  public, 
yet  whoever  considers  the  state  of  our  churches,  as  repre- 
sented in  the  first  chapter,  and  is  aware  of  the  bearing  to- 
wards Antinomianism  which  was  beginning  to  infect  other  de- 
nominations also,  will  find  reason  to  bless  God  for  thus  qualify- 
ing him  to  stem  the  torrent  of  False  Calvinism.  His  success 
among  good  men,  whose  hearts  were  attached  to  true  holiness, 
as  well  as  to  sovereign  and  efficacious  grace,  was  very  exten- 
sive :  though  others,  respecting  whom  there  is  too  much  rea- 
son to  fear  that  their  error  originated  in  a  mind  which  could  not 
bear  subjection  to  the  divine  law,  have  since  waxed  worse 
and  worse. 

His  ardent  love  of  truth,  and  his  earnest  concern  that  God 
would  preserve  him  from  error,  on  the  right  hand  and  on  the 
left,  is  strongly  evinced  by  the  following  document,  found 
among  his  papers  since  his  death. 

It  was  written  as  early  as  January  10,  1780,  and  occasioned 
by  perusing  a  piece  on  the  Arminian  side,  written  at  the 
time  of  the  controversy  between  the  Calvinistic  and  Arminian 

*  The  Sermon  on  The  Nature  and  Importance  of  Walking  by  Faith 
was  first  printed,  but  the  other  manuscript  had  been  long  before  prepared 
for  the  press. 


MEMOIRS    OF 

Methodists— a  debate  which,  I  have  been  inclined  to  think,  was 
not  very  ably  nor  fairly  conducted  on  either  side.  Mr.  Ful- 
ler's paper  is  entitled, 

A    SOLEMN    VOW,   OR    RENEWAL    OF    COVENANT    WITH    GOD. 

"  O  my  God  !  (Let  not  the  Lord  be  angry  with  his  servant 
for  thus  speaking,)  I  have,  thou  knowest,  heretofore  sought  thy 
truth.  I  have  earnestly  entreated  thee,  that  thou  wouldest  lead 
me  into  it  ;  that  I  might  be  rooted,  established,  and  built  up  in 
it,  as  it  is  in  Jesus.  I  have  seen  the  truth  of  that  saying — <  It  is 
a  good  thing  to  have  the  heart  established  with  grace,'  and  now 
I  would  this  day  solemnly  renew  my  prayer  to  thee,  and  also 
enter  afresh  into  covenant  with  thee. 

*(  O  Lord  God  !  I  find  myself  in  a  world  where  thousands 
profess  thy  name  ;  some  are  preaching,  some  writing,  some 
talking  about  religion.  All  profess  to  be  searching  after  truth  ; 
to  have  Christ  and  the  inspired  writers  on  their  side.  I  am 
afraid  lest  I  should  be  turned  aside  from  the  simplicity  of  the 
gospel.  I  feel  my  understanding  full  of  darkness,  my  reason 
exceedingly  imperfect,  my  will  ready  to  start  aside,  and  my 
passions  strangely  volatile.  O  illumine  mine  understanding, 
<  teach  my  reason  reason,'  my  will  rectitude,  and  let  every  fac- 
ulty of  which  I  am  possessed  be  kept  within  the  bounds  of  thy 
service. 

"  O  let  not  the  sleight  of  wicked  men,  who  lie  in  wait  to  de- 
ceive, nor  even  the  pious  character  of  good  men,  (who  yet 
may  be  under  great  mistakes,)  draw  me  aside.  Nor  do  thou 
suffer  my  own  fancy  to  misguide  me.  Lord,  thou  hast  given 
me  a  determination  to  take  up  no  principle  at  second-hand ; 
but  to  search  for  every  thing  at  the  pure  fountain  of  thy  word. 
Yet,  Lord,  I  am  afraid,  seeing  I  am  as  liable  to  err  as  other 
men,  lest  I  should  be  led  aside  from  truth  by  mine  own  imagi- 
nation. Hast  thou  not  promised,  «  The  meek  thou  wilt  guide 
in  judgment,  and  the  meek  thou  wilt  teach  thy  way  ?'  Lord, 
thou  knowest,  at  this  time,  my  heart  is  not  haughty,  nor  are  mine 
eyes  lofty.  O  4  guide  me  by  thy  counsel,  and  afterwards  re- 
ceive me  to  glory.' 

"  One  thing  in  particular  I  would  pray  for;  namely,  that  I 
may  not  only  be  kept  from  erroneous  principles,  but  may  so  lore 


MR.  FULLER. 


M  r 


the  truth  as  never  to  keep  it  back.  O  Lord,  never  let  me,  under 
the  specious  pretence  of  preaching  holiness,  neglect  to  pro- 
mulge  the  truths  of  thy  word ;  for  this  day  I  see,  and  have  all 
along  found,  that  holy  practice  has  a  necessary  dependence  on 
sacred  principle.  O  Lord,  if  thou  wilt  open  mine  eyes  to  behold 
the  wonders  of  thy  word,  and  give  me  to  feel  their  transforming 
tendency,  then  shall  the  Lord  be  my  God  ;  then  let  my  tongue 
cleave  to  the  roof  of  my  mouth,  if  I  shun  to  declare,  to  the 
best  of  my  knowledge,  the  whole  counsel  of  God." 

Some  account  has  already  been  given  of  the  controversy  which 
his  first  publication  respected,  and  repeated  references  are  made 
to  the  manuscript  in  his  first  diary :  he  kept  it  long  by  him, 
and  showed  it  to  several  friends  who  agreed  with  him  in  senti- 
ment, as  well  as  to  some  who  retained  the  opposite  opinion.  In 
his  second  diary  there  are  various  references  to  the  same  subject, 
which  show  how  cautiously  he  proceeded  in  this  business. 

"  1784.  Aug.  20.— Conversation  with  a  friend  has  occa- 
sioned much  concern  of  mind.  I  feel  myself  a  poor,  ignorant 
creature,  and  have  many  misgivings  of  heart,  about  engaging  in 
defence  of  what  I  esteem  truth,  lest  the  cause  of  Christ  should  be 
injured  through  me.  Surely  if  I  did  not  believe  that  in  defence 
of  which  I  write,  to  be  important  truth,  I  would  hide  my  head  in 
obscurity  all  my  days. 

"  21.— Much  pained  at  heart  to-day,  while  reading  in  Dr 
Owen,  for  whose  character  I  feel  a  high  veneration.  Surely  I 
am  more  brutish  than  any  man,  and  have  not  the  understand- 
ing of  a  man  1  O  that  I  might  be  led  into  divine  truth  !  *  Christ 
and  his  cross  be  all  my  theme.'  Surely  I  love  his  name,  and 
wish  to  make  it  the  centre  in  which  all  the  lines  of  my  minis- 
try should  meet !  The  Lord  direct  my  way  in  respect  of  pub- 
lishing. Assuredly  he  knows  my  end  is  to  vindicate  the  excel- 
lence of  his  character,  and  his  worthiness  of  being  loved  and 
credited. 

"  23 — The  weight  of  publishing  still  lies  upon  me.  I  ex- 
pect a  great  share  of  unhappiness  through  it.  I  had  certainly 
much  rather  go  through  the  world  in  peace,  did  I  not  consider 
this  step  as  my  duty.  I  feel  a  jealousy  of  myself,  lest  I  should 
not  be  endued  with  meekness  and  patience  sufficient  for  contro- 


118  MEMO  IKS    OP 

versy.  The  Lord  keep  me  !  I  wish  to  suspect  my  own  spirit, 
and  go  forth  leaning  on  him  for  strength.  I  heard  yesterday, 
that  Mr.  William  Clarke  is  likely  to  come  to  Carl  ton :  the 
Lord  grant  he  may  !  O  that  I  were  of  such  a  meek  and  lowly 
spirit  as  that  good  man ! 

"  25. — Conversation  with  a  friend  this  day,  makes  me  abhor 
myself,  and  tremble  about  writing  in  a  public  way.  O  how 
little  real  meekness  and  lowliness  of  heart  do  I  possess  I 

«  26. — I  ielt  some  tenderness  to-day  at  the  church-meeting ; 
but  much  depression  of  spirit  generally  now  attends  me.  I  feel 
a  solid  satisfaction  that  the  cause  in  which  I  am  about  to  engage, 
is  the  cause  of  truth  and  righteousness  ;  but  1  am  airaici  iesi  it 
should  suffer  through  me. 

"  Oct.  21.— I  feel  some  pain  in  the  thought  of  being  about  to 
publish  on  the  obligations  of  men  to  believe  in  Chritjty  fearing  I 
shall  hereby  expose  myself  to  a  good  deal  of  abuse,  which  is 
disagreeable  to  the  flesh.  Had  I  not  a  satisfaction  that  it  is  the 
cause  of  God  and  Truth,  I  would  drop  all  thoughts  of  printing. 
The  Lord  keep  me  meek  and  lowly  in  heart. 

"  Nov.  1 6.— Employed  in  finishing  my  manuscript  for  the 
press.  Wrote  some  thoughts  on  1  Cor.  xvi.  22.  but  have  great 
reason  for  shame  and  self  reflection.  While  I  write  on  love 
to  Christ,  I  feel  a  world  of  unlawful  self-love  and  self-seeking 
working  in  me. 

«  22. — Walked  to  Northampton :  some  prayer  that  God  would 
bless  that  about  which  I  am  going ;  namely,  the  printing  of  my 
manuscript  on  the  duty  of  sinners  to  believe  in  Christ." 
This  pamphlet  was  entitled, 

1.  The  Gospel  Worthy  of  all  Acceptation:  or  the  Obliga- 
tions of  Men  fully  to  credit  and  cordially  to  approve  whatever 
God  makes  known.  Wherein  is  considered,  the  Nature  of 
Faith  in  Christ,  and  the  Duty  of  those  where  the  Gospel  comes 
in  that  Matter. 

Though  several  of  his  brethren  very  cordially  coincided  with 
him,  and  had  earnestly  advised  the  publication,  yet  many  igno- 
i'ant  people,  who  really  knew  nothing  before  of  the  controversy, 
began  to  raise  an  outcry  against  the  book  and  its  author,  charg- 
ing him  and  his  friends  with  having  forsaken  the  doctrines  of 


MR.    PULLEH.  Hi* 

grace,  and  left  the  good  old  way.  Good  Mr.  Brine  had  admitted 
the  novelty  of  the  opinion  Mr  Fuller  ofifiosed,  (which  to  the 
best  of  my  knowledge  had  never  been  heard  of  in  the  church, 
till  about  sixty  years  before,)  and  had  entitled  his  plea  in  de- 
fence of  it,  Motives  to  Love  and  Unity  among  Calvinists  differ- 
ing  in  opinion  ;  but  these  poor  creatures  charged  us  with  being 
turned  Arminians.  Meanwhile  Mr.  Birley  of  St.  Ives,  soon 
after  Mr.  Fuller's  work  was  printed,  urged  his  friend  Mr.  Dan 
Taylor,  a  very  respectable  minister  among  the  more  evangeli- 
cal General  Baptists,  to  embrace  this  opportunity  of  endeavour- 
ing to  promote  real  Arminianism. 

Mr.  Button  attempted  to  defend  the  negative  side  of  the 
question,  on  the  plan  of  Dr.  Gill  and  Mr.  Brine.  A  Dr.  Withers, 
patronized  by  a  rich  man  in  London,  deeply  tinged  with  AntU 
nomianism,  wrote  in  afar  mere  extravagant  and  insolent  strain  ; 
I  should  not  say  on  the  same  side,  for  my  brother  Button  and 
his  learned  predecessor  would,  have  abhorred  his  extravagant 
crudities,  Mr.  Taylor  repeatedly  attacked  him  on  the  opposite 
quarter.  Mr.  F.  thus  refers  to  these  opponents : 

"Aug.  8,  1785. — Some  exercise  of  mind  this  week, through 
an  advertisement  of  Dr.  Withers,'  wherein  he  threatens,  I  think 
in  a  very  vain  manner,  to  reduce  my  late  publication  to  dust. 
I  wish  I  may  be  kept  in  a  right  spirit.  I  find  myself,  on  seeing 
what  I  have  hitherto  seen,  exposed  to  a  spirit  of  contempt,  but 
I  wish  not  to  indulge  too  much  of  that  temper.  Doubtless  I 
may  be  wrong  in  some  things  ;  I  wish  I  may  all  along  be  open 
to  conviction.  I  have  found  some  desires  go  up  to  heaven  for 
such  a  spirit. 

«  26.— At  Northampton  I  saw  a  letter  from  a  respectable  aged 
minister,*  on  my  late  publication,  which  has  some  effect  on  my 
heart,  in  a  way  of  tender  grief  and  fear. 

"  Oct.  7.-— Some  tremor  of  mind,  in  hearing  that  Dr.  With* 
ers's  book  is  in  the  press.  What  I  fear  is,  lest  his  manner 
of  writing  should  be  provoking,  and  lest  I  ahould  fall  into  an 
unchristian  spirit." 

•  If  I  may  judge  from  an  excellent  address  which  the  venerable  Joshua 
Thomas  delivered  in  the  Lecture-room  in  North  Street,  from  2  Chron. 
xxx.  8.  Tteldyoursclvet  wnfe  rfc  Zrffrf— he  fully  «anw  Q?ec  to  Mr.  Fffl- 
at  last. 


J20  MEMOIRS    O* 

Nov — On  a  journey  into  Bedfordshire,  he  met  with  a  min- 
ister who  had  before  embraced  the  negative  side  of  the  Modern 
Question,  and  was  "  glad  to  see  his  spirit  softened,  and  his  prej- 
udices giving  way."  But  at.  another  place  he  mentions  being 
much  grieved  to  find  the  spirits  of  the  people  in  that  neighbour* 
hood  hurt  by  controversy.  I  find  there  are  several  whose  con- 
versation turns  almost  entirely,  and  on  all  occasions,  on  these 
subjects.  It  seems  to  be  one  of  Satan's  devices,  in  order  to  de- 
stroy the  good  tendency  of  any  truth,  to  get  its  advocates  to 
hackney  it  out  of  measure,  dwelling  upon  it,  in  every  sermon  or 
conversation,  to  the  exclusion  of  other  things.  Thus,  by  some, 
in  the  last  age,  the  glorious  doctrines  of  free  and  sovereign  grace 
were  served,  and  were  thereby  brought  into  disrepute.  If  we 
employ  all  our  time  in  talking  about  what  men  ought  to  be  and 
do,  it  is  likely  we  shall  forget  to  put  it  in  practice  ;  and  then  ail 
is  over  with  us.  The  Lord  deliver  us  from  that  temptation  I 

"  Dec.  6. — The  latter  part  of -this  week  I  received  a  treatise 
lately  published  in  answer  to  mine.  There  seems  to  be  much 
in  it  very  foreign  to  the  point,  and  very  little  evidence  in  favour 
of  the  writer's  sentiment. 

"Jan.  1786.— Heard  on  a  journey  into  Bedfordshire,  that  a 
piece  is  coming  out  against  what  I  have  written,  on  the  Arminian 
side.  I  have  no  fears  as  to  the  cause  itself,  but  many  as  to  my 
Capacity  to  defend  it.  I  feel  reluctant  in  being  obliged  to  attend 
to  controversy.  My  heart  seems  to  delight  in  my  work,  and  I 
hope  the  Lord  is  in  some  measure  owning  it. 

"  29. — This  week  I  received  Dr.  Withers's  treatise  against 
what  I  have  printed.  What*  horrid  sentiments  does  he  ad- 
vance ! 

"  Feb.  5- — My  mind  has  been  generally  much  engaged  in 
perusing  various  publications  against  my  treatise  on  the  gospel 
of  Christ.  This  morning  I  received  another,  written  by  Mr. 
Dan  Taylor.  It  has  rather  tended  to  interrupt  me  in  the 
work  of  the  day,  though  I  determined  not  to  look  into  it  til!  to- 
morrow. 

6.  " — Read  the  above  piece.  The  author  discovers  an  amia- 
ble spirit,  and  there  is  a  good  deal  of  plausibility  in  some  things 
that  he  advances.  My  mind  has  been  much  employed  all  the 
week  on  this  piece.  The  more  I  examine  it,  the  more  I  per* 


MR.    FUf^ER.  121 

eeive  it  is,  though  ingeniously  wrought  together,  open  to  a  solid 
and  effective  reply." 

Having  begun  with  Mr.  Fuller's  controversial  works,  I  shall 
enumerate  them  before  I  proceed  to  those  of  a  practical  nature  ; 
and  therefore  mention  that  he  published  in  1787, 

2.  A  Defence  of  a  Treatise  entitled,  The  Gospel  of  Christ 
worthy  of  all  Acceptation  :  Containing  a  Reply  to  Mr.  Button's 
Remarks,  and  the  Observations  of  Philanthropes. 

Sometime  after,  another  pamphlet  appeared,  entitled, 

3.  The  Reality  and  Efficacy   of  Divine  Grace  ;  with  the 
Certain  Success  of  Christ's  Sufferings  in  Behalf  of  all  who  are 
finally  saved:  Containing  Remarks  upon  the  Observations  of 
the  Rev.  Dan  Taylor  on  Mr.  Fuller's  Reply  to  Philanthropes. 

Though  this  was  published  in  the  form  of  letters  to  Mr.  Ful- 
ler, under  the  signature  of  ^gnostos,  yet  it  is  now  known  that  it 
was  written  almost  entirely  by  Mr.  Fuller  himself. 

4.  Remarks  on  Mr.  Martin's  Publication,  in  Five  Letters 
to  a  Friend. 

Mr.  Fuller  has  directed  this  to  be  left  out  of  the  new  edition 
of  his  Works ;  partly  because,  although  it  may  not  contain  a 
greater  degree  of  severity  than  the  personalities  of  that  publica- 
tion almost  necessarily  called  for,  yet  he  did  not  take  pleasure 
in  reflecting  on  a  controversy  of  that  kind ;  and  partly  because 
he  had  no  apprehension  that  the  work  of  his  opponent  would 
ever  be  reprinted.* 

*  Mr.  Fuller  made  no  reply  to  Mr.  M'.*s  second  and  third  parts.  The 
following  is  a  specimen  of  this  writer's  mode  of  argumentation  :— 

"  Perhaps  Mr.  Fuller  does  not  sufficiently  recollect,  that  in  human  ac- 
tions, -what  seems  to  be  the  reverse  of  doing  ivrongy  is  not  ahvuys  doing 
right. 

1 .  "  Avarice  and  prodigality, 

2.  "  Ambition  and  abject  state  of  mind, 

3.  "Breaking  the  law  of  God  and  keeping  it  perfectly,  are  supposed, 
by  some,  to  be  in  the  strongest  state  of  opposition.     But  if  the  avaricious 
were  to  become  prodigal,  and   the  mean  to  become  ambitious,  this  would 
be  only  changing  one  vice  for  another." 

Well,  and  if  he  that  has   broken  the   law   in   time  past,  were  to  keep 
it  in  future,  would  that  be  also  changing  one  vice  for  another  ?  No.  But, 
**.  If  the  transgressor  of  the  law  attempted  to  keep  it  perfectly,  he  must 
16 


122  MEMOIRS    OF 

In  1792,  Mr.  Fuller  published  a  work  of  the  highest  import- 
ance, which  obtained  the  warm  approbation  of  all  the  friends 
of  evangelical  truth. 

5.  The  Calvinistic  and  Socinian  Systems  examined  and 
compared  as  to  their  Moral  Tendency :  in  a  Series  of  Letters, 
addressed  to  the  Friends  of  Vital  and  Practical  Religion. 

At  the  commencement  of  this  work  in  1791,  he  observes,  "  I 
have  lately  been  employed  in  reading  several  Socinian  writers, 
Lindsey,  Priestly,  Belsham,  Sec.  and  have  employed  myself  in 
penning  down  thoughts  on  the  moral  tendency  of  their  system. 
While  thus  engaged,  I  found  an  increasing  aversion  to  their 
views  of  things,  and  I  feel  the  ground  on  which  my  hopes  are 
built  more  solid  than  ever/' 

Some  time  after  it  appeared,  in  July  1794,  he  thus  writes, 
"the  reflection  I  noticed  on  June  1,  1792,  That  we  have  no 
more  religion  than  we  have  in  times  of  trial^  has  again  occurred. 
God"  has  tried  me,  within  the  last  two  or  three  years,  by  heavy 
and  sore  afflictions  in  my  family,  and  by  threatening  complaints 
in  my  body.  But  of  late,  trials  have  been  of  another  kind : 

by  that  attempt,  entertain  a  false  idea  of  the  perfection  of  the  law.  For  in 
•whatever  part  IT  is  broken,  it  is  broken  for  ever  f  and  can  never  be  made 
whole  by  him  who  has  offended  in  one  point." 

Hence  he  infers,  that  "  If  unbelief,  in  every  view  of  it,  be  as  criminal  as 
our  author  has  supposed,  it  does  not  follow  that  belief  is  a  duty." 

I  have  added  the  numerals  to  what  ought  to  have  been  three  pair  of  par- 
allels, and  have  placed  them  in  separate  lines,  that  their  agreement  or  dis- 
agreement might  appear.     Had  this  author  contrasted, 
Avarice  and  generosity, 
Ambition  and  humble  contentment, 
Breaking  the  law  and  keep  it  perfectly; 

Though  he  that  should  become  generous  ought  not  to  tell  a  lie,  and  say  he 
never  had  been  covetous  :  he  that  became  humble  and  contented  ought 
not  to  deny  that  he  had  once  been  ambitious  ;  yet  they  would  but  do  their 
duty  in  keeping  clear  r,f  those  vices  in  future.  Nor  is  it  more  than  any 
man's  duty  to  obey  the  Ia^  of  God  perfectly  henceforward,  however  his 
past  sins  may  have  deprived  him  of  all  hope  founded  on  the  covenant  of 
works  If  it  be,  I  would  wish  to  be  informed,  -what  command  may  ha  vio- 
late in  future,  without  acquiring  additional  guilt? 

It  has  been  already  noticed,  that  Mr.  F  derived  some  advantage,  at  ao 
earlier  period,  from  Mr  M/s  sermon  on  Submission  to  the  Righteousness 
of  God,  where  he  had  Scripture  and  sound  reason  on  his  side;  but  wherein 
he  departed  from  them,  he  would  uot  follow  him. 


MR.    FTTLLER.  123 

having  printed  Letters  on  Socinianism,  they  have  procured  an 
unusual  tide  of  respect  and  applause.  Some  years  ago,  I  en- 
dured a  portion  of  reproach,  on  account  of  what  I  had  written 
against  False  Calvinism  ;  now  I  am  likely  to  be  tried  with  the 
contrary :  and,  perhaps,  good  report,  though  more  agreeable, 
may  prove  not  less  trying  than  evil  report.  I  am  apprehen- 
sive that  God  sees  my  heart  to  be  too  much  elated  already,  and 
therefore  withholds  a  blessing  from  my  ordinary  ministrations. 
I  conceive  things  to  be  very  low  in  the  congregation.  It  has 
been  a  thought  which  has  affected  me  of  late — The  church  at 
Leicester  have  lost  their  pastor,  as  have  also  the  church  at 
Northampton ;  but  neither  of  them  have  lost  their  God: 
whereas,  at  Kettering,  the  man  and  the  means  are  continued  ; 
we  have  the  mantle,  but  where  is  the  Lord  God  of  Elijah  ?  God 
has,  as  it  were,  caused  it  to  rain  upon  these  places,  but  not  upon 
us.  Though  without  pastors,  yet  they  have  had  great  increase  ; 
whereas  we  have  had  none  of  late,  and  many  disorders  among 
us.  I  am  afraid  I  am  defective  as  to  knowing  the  state  of  my 
own  church,  and  looking  well  to  their  spiritual  concerns."  Thus 
rigorously  did  he  watch  his  own  heart,  throughout  the  various 
vicissitudes  of  this  life. 

Meanwhile  the  Socinians,  who  had  so  frequently  indulged 
themselves  in  inveighing,  with  the  utmost  vehemence,  against 
the  licentious  tendency  of  the  Calvinistic  system,  were  much  dis- 
turbed at  having  the  charge  turned  against  themselves.  It  was 
now  considered  as  an  unfair  argument.  They  wanted  to  shift 
the  ground,  and  get  to  their  critical  bush-fighting  ;  hoping  to 
obtain  more  advantage  by  controverting  separate  texts,  than  by 
discussing  the  moral  tendency  of  the  whole  system.  Though 
even  here  they  wished  to  make  the  ground  as  narrow  as  pos- 
sible, by  interdicting  the  use  of  the  Epistles,  and  confining  the 
dispute  to  expressions  used  by  the  four  Evangelists.  Or  if  the 
appeal  to  facts  respecting  the  effects  of  the  respective  systems 
could  not  be  wholly  declined,  (not  being  able  to  show  that  mod- 
ern Unitarians,  as  they  call  themselves,  or  those  who  lay  claim 
to  the  exclusive  appellation  of  Rational  Christians,  have  done 
any  thing  with  success  for  the  conversion  of  Jews,  Heathens, 
Turks,  Infidels,  or  Profligates,)  they  beg  the  fioint  in  question^ 
that  the  Apostles'  doctrine  was  the  same  as  theirs,  and  thus 


124  MEMOIRS    OF 

would  prove  the  good  moral  tendency  of  their  sentiments,  by  the 
happy  effects  produced  by  the  gospel  in  the  first  two  centuries. 
Mr.  Fuller,  in  reply  to  these  artifices,  published  in  1797, 

6.  Socinianism  Indefensible  on  the  Ground  of  its  Moral 
Tendency ;    Containing   a  Reply  to  Dr.  Toulmin  and  Mr, 
Kentish. 

After  this  Mr.  Fuller's  attention  was  turned  to  the  Deistical 
controversy ;  and  he  published, 

7.  The  Gospel  its  own  Witness :  or,  The  Holy  Nature  and 
Divine  Harmony  of  the  Christian  Religion,  contrasted  with  the 
Immorality  and  absurdity  of  Deism.     1800. 

This  is  the  work  of  which  Mr.  Wilberforce  spoke  so  highly, 
in  a  letter  I  received  from  him  just  after  Mr.  Fuller's  death. 

As  early  as  October  24,  1784,  Mr.  Fuller  had  remarked  in 
his  diary,  "  I  have  many  fears  concerning  certain  flesh-pleas- 
ing doctrines,  which  have  been  lately  agitated,  particularly  that 
of  the  final  salvation  of  all  men  and  devils.  I  have  no  doubt 
but  their  notion  will  have  a  -great  spread  within  these  twenty 
years,  however  contrary  to  the  word  of  God  ;  seeing  it  is  just 
what  suits  the  flesh.  To-night  in  expounding  Acts  iii.  I  took 
notice  of  verse  2 1 ,  on  which  they  chiefly  attempt  to  found  this 
opinion." 

According  as  Mr.  Fuller  and  some  of  his  most  intimate 
friends  had  foreboded,  so  it  came  to  pass.  Mr.  Winchester, 
who  had  in  his  early  life  appeared  very  laborious  and  successful 
in  urging  sinners  to  flee  from  the  wrath  to  come,  had  fallen  into 
this  sentiment  in  America,  and  came  over  to  England  to  prop- 
agate it.  Though  the  preaching  of  a  fiurgatory  had  no  such 
effect  on  the  careless  as  attended  his  former  labours,  yet  it  drew 
after  him  a  few  unstable  professors.  Among  others,  Mr.  Vidler, 
of  Battle,  in  Sussex,  (who  had  become  acquainted  with  the 
ministers  of  the  Northamptonshire  Association  sometime  before, 
when  he  came  to  collect  for  his  meeting-house,)  fell  into  the 
same  snare,  and  at  length  into  Socinianism.  Mr.  Fuller  first  sent 
him  a  private,  affectionate,  and  faithful  expostulation,  in  1793, 
to  which  he  received  no  reply,  till  he  afterwards  inserted  it  in 
the  Evangelical  Magazine  for  September  1795,  concealing  the 
name  of  the  person  to  whom  it  was  addressed,  and  using  him* 


MR.   FULLER.  125 

self  the  signature  of  Gams.    This  led  in  the  issue  to  a  larger 
publication  — 

8.  Letters  to  Mr.  Vidler,  on  the  Doctrine  of  Universal  Sal- 
vation.    1802.* 

Another  publication  must  be  reckoned  in  a  great  degree  po- 
lemical, consisting  chiefly  of  what  had  been  published  in  de- 
tached parts,  in  the  Evangelical  Magazine,  but  which  was  col- 
lected into  one  volume  in  1806,  and  entitled, 

9.  Dialogues,  Letters,  and  Essays,  on  Various  Subjects. 
Some  years  afterwards  he  printed, 

10.  Strictures  on  Sandemanianism,  in  Twelve  Letters  to  a 

Friend.     1810. 

^» 
On  this  subject,  without  entering  farther  into  the  controversy, 

I  would  beg  leave  to  insert  two  or  three  remarks,  which  have 
struck  my  own  mind,  as  worthy  of 'attention. 

1.  That  many  good  men  have  had  their  minds  tinged  with 
Mr.  Sandeman's  sentiments,  who  by  no  means  embrace  all  his 
peculiarities,  and  who  greatly  disapprove  of  his  bitter,  censori- 
ous spirit ;  this  applies  especially  to  many  of  the  Scotch  Bap- 
tists. 

2.  As  to  those  who  enter  far  into  the  system,  it  has  appeared 
to  me,  that  while  they  maintain  that  faith  is  the  simplest  thing 
in  the  world,  they  go  on  disputing  about  it,  till  they  almost  make 
the  definition  of  faith  the  very  object  of  faith.     Let  a  man  be- 
lieve what  he   will  of  Christ,  and  the  fitness,  beauty,  and  glory 
of  the  way  of  salvation  by  his  obedience  unto  death,  they  will 
scarcely  allow  him  to  be  a  Christian,  unless  he  believes  that 
faith  is  a  bare  belief  of  the  truth. 

3.  Whereas  they  scruple  to  admit  that  faith  includes  a  cor- 
dial ajijirobation  of  the  truth,  and  say  that  this  is  confounding 
faith  and  love,  which  the  apostle  distinguishes  in  1  Cor.  xiii. 
13.    I  would  reply,  he  no  more  distinguishes  y^VA  and  love, 
than  he  distinguishes  hofie  and  love.     Now  I  conceive  that  no 

*  Mr.  Jerram,  an  evangelical  Clergyman,  a  friend  of  Mr.  Fuller's, 
published  a  very  able  and  interesting  pamphlet  on  the  same  subject,  en- 
titled Letters  to  an  Universalist ,-  containing  a  Revieio  of  the  Co?itro- 
vcrsy  between  Mr.  Vidler  and  Mr.  Fuller.,  on  the  Doctrine  of  Univeria' 
Sa  Ivation. 


126  MEMOIRS    OF 

man  can  give  a  complete  definition  of  hope,  that  shall  not  include 
any  thing  of  the  nature  of  love  ;  for  bare  expectation  of  what  I 
dislike  or  disregard,  is  not  hope.  If  then  one  of  these  graces  is 
inseparable  from  the  other,  why  should  not  this  be  the  case  with 
the  third  also  ?  As  love  cannot  be  separated  from  the  essence 
of  hope,  so  neither  can  it  be  from  the  essence  of  vital  faith. 
These  three  principal  graces  seem  to  me  to  shade  off  into  each 
other,  like  the  three  principal  colours  of  the  rainbow  :  the  red 
is  not  blue,  the  blue  is  not  yellow,  Sec.  but  if  you  could  touch  it 
with  the  point  of  a  needle,  you  could  not  say,  here  the  red  ends, 
and  there  the  blue  begins,  nor  here  the  blue  ends,  and  there 
begins  the  yellow.  Mere  natural  truth  may  be  believed  inde- 
pendently of  the  state  of  the  heart.  Thus  I  believe  the  sun  is 
the  centre  of  our  system,  though  I  should  be  as  willing  for  the 
earth  to  be  the  centre,  if  all  went  on  as  well  as  it  does  now. 
One  man  might  believe  some  months  ago  that  Buonaparte  was 
returned  to  Paris,  though  he  had  much  rather  he  had  been  at 
Elba,  or  at  the  bottom  of  the  sea  ;  another  may  now  believe  he 
is  at  St.  Helena,  who  had  rather  he  was  at  Paris.  But  Haman 
could  not  believe  that  Mordecai  deserved  the  respect  he  was 
obliged  to  pay  him ;  while  he  retained  his  old  disposition  to- 
wards him.  Much  less  can  a  sinner,  whose  heart  is  enmity 
against  the  divine  Law,  think  that  it  deserved  to  be  honoured,  by 
the  Son  of  God  becoming  incarnate,  assuming  the  form  of  a  ser- 
vant, and  being  obedient  unto  death  ;  and  that  it  was  wise,  and 
right,  and  good,  for  God  to  determine  that  no  sin  should  be 
pardoned,  unless  the  divine  disapprobation  of  it  could  be  mani- 
fested as  decisively  as  if  the  sinner  had  suffered  in  his  own  per- 
son the  full  penalty  of  the  law,  and  unless  his  pardon  could 
be  made  evidently  to  appear  an  act  of  sovereign  grace.  Nor 
ean  a  man,  while  under  the  dominion  of  sin,  believe  that  it  is  a 
most  blessed  privilege  to  be  saved  from  sin  itself,  as  well  as 
from  its  consequences.  Hence  I  still  conceive,  that  regenera- 
tion, strictly  so  called,*  must  in  the  order  of  nature,  precede  the 

*  Mr.  Charnock  thus  distinguishes  between  regeneration  and  active  con- 
version. Regeneration  is  a  spiritual  change  :  conversion  is  a  spiritual  mo- 
tion. In  regeneration  there  is  a  power  conferred  :  conversion  is  the  ex- 
ercise of  this  power.  In  regeneration  there  is  given  us  a  principle  to  turn  : 
conversion  is  our  actual  turning.  That  is  the  principle  whereby  we  are 


MR.    FULLER*  127 

SVst  act  of  faith.  Not  that  it  can  be  known,  except  by  its  ef- 
fects ;  nor  that  a  consciousness  thereof  is  necessary  to  "warrant 
the  sinner's  first  application  to  Christ.  But  I  have  fully  stated 
my  ideas  on  that  subject  in  my  sermon  at  the  Lyme  Associa- 
tion, and  therefore  enter  no  farther  into  it  here.  I  only  add — 

4.  Whereas  the  thorough  Sandemanians  conceive  that  there 
is  no  difference  between  the  faith  of  devils,  and  that  of  the  heirs 
of  salvation,  but  only  such  as  results  from  the  different  circum- 
stances of  men  and  devils,  Christ  having  died  for  the  former,  and 
not  for  the  latter  ;  I  cannot  by  any  means  coincide  with  this 
opinion.  And  if  any  good  men  incline  to  this  persuasion,  I 
wish  them  to  consider  if  such  a  sentiment  does  not  strongly  im- 
ply, not  only  that  the  influence  of  the  Holy  Spirit  is  unneces- 
sary, but  also  that  the  opposition  of  the  carnal  mind  to  God,  is 
not  fully  credited,  or  at  least  not  duly  estimated.  Does  it  not  go 
on  the  supposition,  that  all  the  enmity  of  mankind  to  God,  is 
occasioned  solely  by  their  viewing  him  as  a  revenging  Judge  ? 
But  is  this  the  scriptural  representation  of  the  fact  ?  or  is  it  agree- 
able to  daily  experience  ?  Are  not  millions  in  love  with  sin,  and 
unwilling  to  seek  after  God,  who  never  had  any  deep  conviction 
that  God  is  highly  displeased  with  them  ?  Alas,  how  few  are 
there  that  thoroughly  believe  God  is  angry  with  the  wicked 
every  day  !  and  how  much  fewer  that  believe  he  has  just  cause 
to  be  so  !  Do  not  let  us  look  on  them  that  are  enemies  to  God 
as  poor,  pitiable,  half-innocent  creatures,  who  would  be  glad  to 
be  reconciled  to  him  on  any  terms,  if  they  could  but  hope  that 
he  would  ever  admit  them  again  to  his  friendship.  Verily,  I 
cannot  believe  this  to  be  the  case,  nor  any  thing  like  it. 

I  have  made  these  remarks,  because  I  believe  my  mind  is 
herein  in  unison  with  my  dear  departed  friend  ;  and  because  I 
think  they  agree  with  the  truth. 

Many  who  lean  towards  Antinomianism,  do  not  half  believe 
human  depravity  :  they  do  not  think  the  will  of  man  is  perverse 
enough  to  insure  his  destruction,  if  all  other  impediments  were 
removed.  I  do,  and/so  did  Mr.  Fuller.  If  there  had  been  no  elec- 

brought  out  of  a  state  of  nature  into  a  state  of  grace  :  and  conversion  is 
the  actual  fixing  on  God,  as  the  terminus  ad  quern.  One  gives  posse 
agere  ;  the  other,  actu  agere.  Conversion  is  related  to  regeneration  as 
the  effect  to  the  cause.  In  regeneration  man  is  wholly  passive  :  in  conver- 
»ion  he  is  active.  Works,  Vol.  II.  42. 


128  MBMO1KS    OF 

tion,  #0  special  design  in  redemption,  if  God  had  done  all  that 
could  be  done  externally  to  save  men,  but  had  abstained  from 
exerting  any  effectual  internal  influence  on  the  human  mindj 
to  draw  souls  to  Christ,  I  do  not  think  one  would  have  come  to 
him  ;  all  would  have  rejected  the  counsel  of  God  against  them- 
selves, and  have  continued  impenitent  and  unbelieving.  And 
thus  also  I  conceive,  \hat  if  God  were  to  assure  an  unrenewed 
man  of  his  election,  his  redemption,  and  certain  glorification, 
without  changing  the  spirit  of  his  mind,  though  if  he  had  been 
previously  much  alarmed,  he  might  be  glad  to  get  rid  of  his 
terror,  and  feel  for  a  little  while  such  a  natural  gratitude  as  the 
Israelites  did  at  the  Red  Sea,  yet  he  would  soon  forget  all? 
and  go  on  seeking  his  present  happiness  in  the  world,  and  in 
the  indulgence  of  his  sinful  inclinations. 

I  referred  not  to  the  Sandemanian  controversy  in  the  former 
part  of  the  last  paragraph,  but  to  those  who  were  most  opposed 
to  Mr.  Fuller's  former  publication  ;  and  the  latter  part,  I  only 
wish  to  be  noticed  by  such  as  have  imagined  there  is  no  differ- 
ence between  the  faith  of  good  men,  and  the  faith  of  devils, 
except  what  arises  from  their  circumstances.* 

*  I  have  lately  thought  the  supposition  might  not  be  wholly  useless,  if 
JTC  were  to  inquire  what  would  have  been  the  effect  of  information  given, 
to  the  inhabitants  of  this  world,  that  one  of  the  other  planets  (whichever 
you  please,)  had  been  inhabited  by  a  race  of  beings  like  ourselves,  and 
the  work  of  redemption  had  there  taken  place,  just  as  it  has  been  effected 
here.  If  the  news  had  been  made  known  to  us,  what  would  our  race  have 
said  to  it  ?  Methinks  some  would  utterly  disregard  it ;  some  would  dis- 
pute against  it,  and  refuse  to  believe  it ;  some  would  think  the  inhabit- 
ants  of  that  globe  could  never  submit  to  it ;  some  perhaps  would  wonder 
that  any  of  them  should  reject  it ;  some  would  blaspheme  the  Most  High 
for  his  partiality,  in  providing  for  their  salvation  in  so  wonderful  a  manner, 
and  not  doing  the  same  for  us.  But  if  it  had  been  supposable  thai  any  of 
our  fallen  race  should  have  retained  something  of  a  right  spirit,  or  if  God 
should  have  secretly  restored  them  to  it,  surely  these  would  have  been 
ready  to  exclaim,  *  O  how  wonderful  !  O  how  glorious !  What  a  good 
God  have  we  sinned  against  !  How  vile  are  we  !  Well,  he  had  a  right  to 
provide  for  the  salvation  of  the  inhabitants  of  that  world  and  not  of  this.* 
But,  O  that  it  were  possible  for  the  merits  of  the  Messiah  to  be  extended 
likewise  to  us  !  Why  should  not  so  dignified  and  divine  a  Saviour  have  suf- 
ficient virtue  in  his  atonement  to  save  us  also  ?  We  find  many  of  the  inhab- 
itants  of  that  world  reject  him. O  that  we  might  share  in  the  bless- 
ings which  they  despise  !' 


MR.    FULLER.  129 

These  are  all  Mr.  Fuller's  works  that  relate  to  controversial 
theology,  unless  we  should  reckon  among  them  his  defence  of 
the  efforts  made  by  our  own  and  other  Missionary  Societies, 
against  the  publications  of  Mr.  Twining,  Major  Scott,  Waring, 
and  a  Bengal  Officer  ;  which  was  published  in  three  pans,  un- 
der the  title  of — 

1 1.  An  Apology  for  the  late  Christian  Missions  to  India.  8vo. 
pp.  350.* 

I  have  not  attempted  any  regular  review  or  analysis  of  these 
polemical  works,  nor  shall  I  do  so  as  to  those  of  a  more  practi- 
cal nature  ;  I  am  willing  to  bear  a  full  share  of  whatever  re- 
proach may  be  thrown  upon  me  from  any  quarter,  for  highly  es- 
teeming them  ;  but  my  time  would  admit  of  nothing  more  than 
the  few  cursory  remarks  I  have  interspersed.  They  are  all 
pretty  well  known  to  the  religious  public,  among  whom  he  had 
his  share  of  good  report,  as  well  as  of  censure  and  op- 
position. I  shall  leave  his  works  to  defend  themselves  against 
the  nibbling  of  minor  critics,  which  I  think  they  are  as  able  to 
do  as  the  best  tempered  file. 

I  shall  mention  his  larger  practical  works  first,  and  therefore 
notice — 

12.  Memoirs  of  the   Rev.  Samuel  Pearce,  A.  M.  of  Bir- 
mingham, with  Extracts  from  some  of  his  most  Interesting  Let- 
ters.    1 800. 

This  is  certainly  a  most  valuable  and  interesting  piece  of  bi* 
ography.  Much  as  that  seraphic  young  man  was  esteemed  by 
many,  I  know  not  that  any  one  thought  more  highly  of  him 
than  myself.  I  was  used  to  think  that  Benjamin  Francis,  as  an 
aged  man,  and  Samuel  Pearce,  as  a  young  man,  were  the  two 
most  popular  preachers  I  had  personally  known,  who,  without 
rising  to  sublime  eloquence,  owed  no  part  of  their  popularity 
to  eccentricity.  A  peculiar  fluency  of  deli-very,  and  a  most 
serious  and  affectionate  address^  would  have  made  them  ac- 
ceptable to  all  classes  of  hearers,  in  any  part  of  the  kingdom. 

*  No.  29,  is  also  controversial. 
17 


130  MEMOIRS    OP 

But  I  by  no  means  consider  Mr.  Pearce's  biographer  as  being 
himself  deficient  in  tender  love  to  the  souls  of  men,  or  devoid 
of  an  evident  unction  from  the  Holy  One.  His  delivery  had 
not  the  sprightly  vivacity  of  Mr.  Pearce  ;  but  a  solemn  tender- 
ness and  pathos  often  attended  his  discourses :  though  it  appear- 
ed to  me,  that  there  was  more  of  the  pathetic  in  earlier  life, 
(when  he  had  a  large  measure  of  affliction,  as  well  as  after- 
wards,) than  in  the  latter  part  of  his  ministry.  To  be  sure,  of 
late  years  I  did  not  hear  him  so  frequently  as  formerly  ;  but  I 
remember  Mr.  Sutcliff,  who  continued  to  be  his  near  neighbour* 
once  expressed  the  same  opinion.  But  to  return  to  his  works, 
I  may  mention. 

13.  Expository  Discourses  on  the  Book  of  Genesis,  inter- 
spersed with  Practical  Reflections.     2  Vols.  8vo.     Published  in 
1806. 

1 4.  Expository  Discourses  on  the  Apocalypse,  interspersed 
with  Practical  Reflections. 

This  I  mention  next,  on  account  of  its  similar  nature,  though- 
not  prepared  for  the  press  till  just  before  his  decease. 

15.  Sermons  on  Various  Subjects.     1814. 

16.  The  Backslider  :  or  an  Inquiry  into  the  Nature,  Symp- 
toms, and  Effects  of  Religious  Declension,  with  the  means  of 
Recovery.     18OI. 

An  invaluable  piece  of  practical  divinity. 

Besides  these,  he  printed  a  number  of  single  sermons  on  va- 
rious occasions ;  namely, 

17.  The  Nature  and  Importance  of  Walking  by  Faith.     A 
Sermon  before  the  Baptist  Association  at  Nottingham  June  2, 
1784. 

18.  The   Qualifications  and   Encouragement  of  a  Faithful 
Minister.     An  Ordination  Sermon  at  Thorne,  in  Bedfordshire, 
Oct.  31,1787. 

19.  The  Pernicious  Consequences  of  Delay  in  Religious 
Concerns.     A  Sermon  at  Clipstone  April  1791. 

20.  The  Blessedness  of  the  Dead  who  Die  in  the  Lord.     A 
Sermon  occasioned  by  the  Death  of  Mr.  Beeby  Wallis.    1792. 

21.  The  Importance  of  a  Deep  and  Intimate  Knowledge 
of  Divine  Truth.     A  Sermon  before  the  Baptist  Association  at 
St.  Albans  June  1,  1796. 


MR.    FULLER.  131 

22.  The  Christian  Doctrine  of  Rewards.     A  Sermon  deliv- 
ered at  the  Circus,  Edinburgh  Oct.  13,   1799. 

23.  God's  Approbation  of  our  Labours  necessary  to  the  Hope 
of  Success.     A  Sermon  at  the  Annual  Meeting  of  the  Bedford 
Union  May  6,   1801. 

2  4,  The  Obedience  of  Churches  to  their  Pastors.  A  Sermon 
at  the  Ordination  of  the  Rev.  Thomas  Morgan,  at  Cannon  Street, 
Birmingham.  1802. 

25.  Christian  Patriotism  :  or  the  Duty  of  Religious  People 
towards  their  Country.     A  Discourse   delivered  at  Kettering 
Aug.  14,  1803. 

26.  Jesus  the  true  Messiah.     A  Sermon  at  the  Jews'  Chapel, 
Spital  Fields,  Nov.  19,  1809. 

27.  The  Principles  and  Prospects  of  a  Servant  of  Christ.  A 
Sermon  delivered  at  the  funeral  of  the  Rev.  John  Sutciiff,  A.M. 
June  28,  1814.     With  a  Brief  Memoir  of  the  Deceased. 

28.  The  Great  Question  Answered. 

A  very  important  tract,  which  has  been  translated  into  sev- 
eral languages. 

29.  A  Vindication  of  Protestant  Dissent  from  the  Charges 
of  the  Rev.  Thomas  Robinson. 

A  small  polemical  tract. 

30.  Expository  Remarks  on  the  Discipline  of  the  Primitive 
Churches.     Originally  an  Association  Letter. 

31.  The  Pastors  Address  to  his  Christian  Hearers.     Orig- 
inally an  Association  Letter. 

To  these  may  be  added. 

A  Funeral  Oration  for  the  Rev.  Robert  Hall,  sen.  of  Arnesby ; 
with  some  verses  to  his  memory.  Printed  with  the  Funeral 
Sermon,  £c.  by  John  Ryland,  jun.  1791. 

A  New  Year's  Gift  for  Youth.  The  Sketch  of  a  Sermon  on 
Psa.  xc.  14.  printed  without  Mr.  F.'s  previous  permission,  by  a 
friend  at  Edinburgh.  1800. 

An  Essay  on  Truth.  Prefixed  to  a  new  and  improved  Edi- 
tion of  Hannah  Adams's  View  of  Religions. 

A  Recommendation  of  Dr.  Joseph  Bellamy's  invaluable 
Work,  entitled,  True  Religion  Delineated. 

A  Recommendation  of  Two  Sermons  by  Dr.  Tim.  Dwight* 
entitled  The  Nature  and  Danger  of  Infidel  Philosophy. 


132  MEMOIRS    OF 

A  Recommendatory  Preface  to  Thornton  Abbey. 

And  a  great  number  of  valuable  papers  in  several  periodical 
publications  :  namely, 

DE  COETLOGON'S  THEOLOGICAL  MISCELLANY. 

1785.  Thoughts  on  1  Cor.  xvi.  22.  p.  141. 

1786.  Pacificus  to  Agnostos,    to  close  a  Controversy  between  J.  R.j.  and 
A.S.  Esq   576 

1737.  On  Declensions  in  Religion,  346,  424,  487.  The  Means  of  Revival, 
519,  593.  On  the  supposed  Final  Restitution,  468. 

1788.  A  Similitude  on  the  Church  of  Laodicea,  58.  John  v.  40.  and  vi. 
44,  45,  and  65,  reconciled,  237  Paraphrase  on  Eccles.  yii.  15 — 19. 
p.  432.  On  John  v.  \7 — 19.  p.  488. 

EVANGELICAL    MAGAZINE. 

1793.  Dialogues  between  Crispus  and  Gains,  pp.  67,  108,  150,  190,  235. 

1794.  Dialogues  continued,   19,50,96,   147.     Letters  from  Crispus,  462. 
Anecdote  of  the  late  Mr.  Robinson,  72.     Interview  of  Messrs  Fuller 
and  butchft'with  Mr  Burridge,  73.     On  the  .Nature  of  Regeneration, 
226.    On  the    Parable  o£  the  Unjust  Steward,  323.     The  Dignity  of 
Nature  in  the  Article  of  Death,  375. 

1795.  Degrees  in  Glory  consistent   with  Salvation  by  Grace,  15.     Letter 
11.  from  ,Gaius  to  Crispus,  53.     Letter  111.  137.     Instances  in   which 
we  act  against  inclination,  151.     Causes   of  the   difference  in  Frame 
between  Private  and  Public  Prayer,  152  Letter  IV.  Crispus  to  Gains, 
184.     Letter  V.  Gains  to  Crispus,  223.     Was  the  Fall  of  Adam  prede- 
termined,  or  only  foreseen  ?  240    What  is  the  true  Meaning  of  those 
Parts  of  the  New  Testament  which  declare  the  Gospel  to  have  a  pow- 
erful Operation  in  the  bouls  of  Men  ?  (Rom.  i.  16    I  Cor.  I  18,  24.   I 
Thes.  ii.  13.)— \nd   is   the   Power   of  the  Gospel  in  any  sense  to  be 
distinguished  from    the  Power  and    Influence  of  the  Holy  Spirit?  Or 
are   they  always  connected  ?  Or  do  both  include  one  and  the  same 
Operation  ?  282.  On  the  Eternity  of  Future  Punishment,  357.     How 
may  a  man  ascertain  his  Election  of  God  to  the  Ministry  of  the  Gos- 
pel ? — And  what   are  sufficient   Qualifications  for  that   important  of- 
fice ?  486.     In  what  sense  is  Faith    reckoned  by  our  Saviour  among 
the  Weightier  Matters  of  the  Law  ?  487. 

1796.  Answer  to  Two  Queries* — (1.)     Did  not  the  law  of  God  require  of 
Christ,  considered  as  a  man,  a  perfect  obedience  on  his  own  account  r 
If  it  did,  how  can  that  obedience  be  imputed  to  sinners  for  their  jus- 
tification ?   (2 )    How    does   it   appeal-  to    be    necessary    that   Christ 
should  both  obey  the  law  in  his   people's    stead,  and    yet  suffer  pun- 
ishment on  account  of  their  transgressions,  seeing  obedience  is  all  the 
law  requires  ?  67.     On    the   Unpardonable    Sin,    141.     Answer  to   a 
Query  on  Regeneration,  337-    The  Duty    of  Christian  Forgiveness, 
359. 

1797.  On  the  Immaculate  life  of  Christ,   51,   99.     On  the  Lying  Spirit,  1 
'  Kings  xxii.  21—28.  p.  504. 

1798.  How  does  God  speak  Peace  to  his  People  ?  113.    On  the  Applica- 
tion of  Absolute    Promises,  and  those  made  to  others,  143.     An  Ac- 
count of  his  own  Experience,  276,  319. 

1799.  Importance  of  a  Lively   Faith,    particularly  respecting  Missionary 
Undertakings,  67.    On  the   Extraordinary   Appearance  to  Elijah  at 


MR.    FULLER.  133 

Horeb,  315.  Sermon  to  the  Aged,  543.  fl  apprehend  the  Review 
of  Mr.  Scott's  Warrant  and  Nature  of  Faith,  (p.  199,)  was  writ- 
ten by  him.] 

1800.  The  Review  of  Mr.  Booth's  Glad  Tidings  458,  550. 

1801.  How  could  Jesus  grow  in  wisdom  &c  ?  192.     What  are  the  bestpre-        > 
servatives  from  backsliding  ?  273.     Is  it   right  to  exhort  a  wicked  man 

to  pray  ?  353. 

1802.  Life  and    Death  sel  before  the*  ;  or  the  Broad  and  Narrow  Way 
93.    Christ  washing  the  Disciples'  Feet  219. 

1803.  Evangelical  Truth  the  great  object  of  Angelical  Research  21     Hope 
in  the    last   Extremity    138       Anecdote    of  a    Remaikable   Conversion 
[287.*]     Advantages  of  Visiting  Societies   339.     Another    Account    of 
Conversion  445. 

1804.  Political  Self-righteousness  124.     The  dangerous  Tendency  of  Uni- 
versalism  250.     The  .Moral  Law  a.  Rule  of  conduct  to  Believers  533. 

1805.  I  he  Mystery  of  Providence  10.     On  the  Danger  of  departing  from 
the  obvious  meaning  of  Scripture  593. 

1806.  Account  of  the  Death   of  one  of  his  Members  272.     Thfe  Wisdom 
proper  to  Man  393      On  the  Abuse  of  Allegory  in  Preaching  489. 

1807.  Letter  from  Bermuda,  by  a  Member  of  the  Baptist  Chui-ch  at  Ket- 
tering  87.     Account  of  a  Remarkable  Conversion}  with  Reflections  on 
the  same  412. 

1808.  On  Covetousness,  Luke  xii.  13 — 21  p  65. 

MISSIONARY    MAGAZINE. 

1796.  Letter  to  Mr  W  Muir,  of  Glasgow,  on  the  Talents  &c.  of  a  Mis- 
sionary  p  158.    Conversation  in  a  Stage  Coach  262. 

1797.  Strictures  on  Booth's  Warrant  349. 

j  -  O 

1798.  The  Zeal  of  Jehovah  pledged  for  the  Fulfilment  of  Prophecy  433. 

1799.  Sketch  of  a  Discourse  delivered  by  him  at  the  Circus  Edinburgh 
546. 

1800.  Thoughts  on  some  Predictions  respecting  the  Latter  Days  58. 

1801.  The   Mystery  of  Providence    106.    Short   notes  on  1  Cor.  xii.  24 
p  182. 

1802.  An  attempt  to  illustrate   Daniel  x.  13  p  45. 

1803  The  Great  Question  Answered  was  first  published  here  pp  59,  110. 
Singular  Instance  of  conversion  310.  Thoughts  on  Rom.  vni.  18 — 23 
p  433. 

1804.  Some  papers  were  reprinted  which  had  appeared  in  the  Evangelical 
Magazine. 

1805.  On   the   Conversion  of  the  Jews,  on  Ezek.  xxxvii.  p  11.    On  the 
same  subject  from  Hos.  i.  ii.  iii.  p  49.     Dilto,  No.  111.  97.     Sequel  from 
the  Evangelical   Magazine  141.    No.  IV.  185.     No.  \  .  229. 

1806.  Inquiry  whether  the   Scriptures  contain  a  system  of  Divine  Truth. 
On  the    Beatitudes,  Matt,  v  p  314.     No.  11.  Ditto  361.     No.  111.  Ditto 
406.    No.    IV.  Ditto,  and  on  the  Perfection  and  Spirituality  of  the  Law 
445.    No.  V.  on  Oaths  Matt,  v  33—37  p  491.    Reply  to  C.  S;  (in  page 
378,)  farther  illustrating  Matt.  v.  4  p  500. 


134  MEMOIRS    OF 

1807.  Sermon  on  the  Mount,  No.  VI.  on  resisting  Evil  6.  Answer  t»* 
three  Queries  21.  Sermon  on  the  Mount,  No.  VII. — Love  to  Enemies 
52.  Account  of  Conversion  in  Bermuda  81.  Sermon  on  the  Mount, 
No.  VIII. — Almsgiving  and  Prayer  94.  Ditto  No,  IX.  on  the  Lord's 
Prayer  141.  Ditto  No.  X  193.  No.  XI.  on  Fasting,  &c  226.  On  Re- 
ligious Systems  322.  Sermon  on  the  Mount,  No.  XII. — Judging  others, 
and  casting  Pearls  before  Swine  364.  Account  of  Conversion  (Kvan. 
Mag)  381.  Sermon  on  the  Mount,  No.  XIII  On  Prayer  and  Equity 
404.  Ditto  No.  XIV.  Broad  and  Narrow  Way,  446. 

1809.  Brief  View  of  Matt.  xi.  12,  13  p  66.  Observations  on  John  iii.  22 
— 36,  p  142.  Past  Trials  a  Plea  for  Future  Mercies  301. 

1812.     On  the  Trial  of  Spirits  p.  370. 

QJJARTERLY    MAGAXINE. 

Vol    I.     A  View  of  Jer.  xxxiii.  16. 

Vol.  II.  Critical  and  Practical  Remarks  on  the  Burden  of  Dumah  &c. 
Isa.  xxi.  11,  12. 

PROTESTANT    DISSENTERS5    MAGAXINE. 

1795.    On  Building  and  Collecting  for  meeting-houses  p  116. 

1798.  Reflections  on  certain  Passages  in  Mr.  Belsham's  Review  of  Mr. 
Wilberforce's  treatise  227.  The  Doctrine  of  Justification  by  Imputed 
Righteousness,  in  Thoughts  on  Jei'.  xxxiii.  16  p  367. 

1799-  Defence  of  Imputed  Righteousness,  against  Christopher  20.  On 
God's  justifying  the  Ungodly,  in  answer  to  J.  J.  141. 

BIBLICAL    MAGAZINE. 

1801.  Account  of  Mrs.  A.  or  the  Pastoral  Visit  p  17.     Present  State  of 
Socinianism  47.     On  Moral  Inability   112.     Sermon  at  Oakham  Associa- 
tion 215.     Letter  to  Mrs   Mead  369.     Letter  to  Mr  Thomas  Rutt,  on 
the  Death  of  his  bister,   Mrs.  K.    Mead  373      [Four  papers,  by  Alpha, 
uncertain.]     On  the  Sonship  of  Christ  283.     On  2  Cor.  xii.  16  p  346. 

1802.  The    Changes    of  Time  :    a  New-year's  Meditation   on  1   Chron. 
xxix.   29,  30  p  21      Answer  to  a  Letter  in  the  Liverpool  Magazine  33. 
Queries  on  the  Infinite  rlvtl  of  bin  56-     Remarks  on  Isa.  ixiii.  1 — 6  p  57. 
Answer  to   a    Query — Whether    the  love  of  sin   be  not  eradicated  from 
those  who  are  regenerated  ?   Though  it  lives  in  them,  is  it  not  their  sor- 
row ?  75.     Sketches  of  two  Sermons,  at  opening  the  Baptist  meeting  at 
Boston,   by   Mr.  Fuller  and  Dr.  Kyland   81.     The  Lite  of  Faith  Kxcm- 
plified,  by  an  anecdote  and  two  passages  versified  in  the  Life  of  Miss  An- 
thony, entitled    *  Devotedness   to  God   in   Kasy    circumstances.'     Ditto 
'  under  Dark  and  Threatening  Providences' — both  in  blank  verse  p  117. 
Answer  to  Objections  against  Foreign  Missions  166.     Remarks  on  Pros- 
titution   185.     Reflections  on    Prov.  xiv.  8    p  219-     Concluding  remarks 
on  Faith,  signed  Alpha — [occasioned  by  his  paper  33  ;  a  Communication 
by  an  Old   Disciple   (Mr.  Newton  of  Norwich)  145  ;  Observations  by  J. 
B.  Foxton  223  ;  Reply  by  an  Old  Disciple  333  ;  Remarks  on  former  pa- 
pers, by  a  Constant  Reader  (C.  S.)  336.]  p  417. 

1803.  Commendation  a  Vanity  60.    Substance  of  a  Sermon  94.     On  Read- 
ing   the   Scriptures  117.     Answer   to  Queries  on   Faith  149.     On    the 
Scripture  Doctrine  of  Election  258.     On  Social  Religion  263.     Queries 
on    Solomon's   Song  41 6.     On  the  proper  and  improper  Use   of  Terms 
388.     Appendix  to  Ditto  419.     Reply  in  Defence  455. 

1804.  On  the  Use  of  Terms,  a  farther  defence  93.    Morality  not  founded 
on  Utility  106.    On  the  Satisfaction   of  Christ  382.    The'Necessity  of 


MR.    FULLER.  135 

Seeking  those  things  first  which  are  of  the  first  Importance  425.   Queries 
relative  to   Ordination  431. 

1805.  On  Ordination  25.  On  Christian  Love  28.  The  Progress  of  Sin. 
55  The  Character  of  Noah  62  The  Progress  of  Righteousness  84. 
On  Evil  things  that  pass  under  Specious  Names  121  Scriptural  Treat- 
ment of  Rich  and  Poor  Christians  207.  On  Party  Spirit  382. 

J806  A  hrief  Statement  of  the  Principles  of  Dissent  8.  Reply  to  Ar- 
guments for  Infant  Communion,  by  an  Old  Disciple  202. 

Theological  Miscellany           .....         ....  jg 

Evangelical  Magazine          ---.,...  g3 

Missionary   Magazine               42 

Quarterly  Magazine            -...„...  3 

Protestant  Dissenters'  Magazine             -         -         -         -         -        -  5 

Biblical,  and  the  Theological  and  Biblical  Magazine        -         -        -  43 

167 


In  addition  to  the  above,  Mr.  Fuller  wrote  several  papers  in 
the  Baptist  Magazine,  and  other  works :  a  list  of  which  cannot 
be  obtained  for  insertion  in  this  place  without  delaying  the  pub- 
lication. 

He  had  also  begun  several  important  works,  which  though 
not  finished,  are  far  too  excellent  to  be  consigned  to  oblivion  ; 
and  which  I  had  planned  connecting  with  this  Memoir,  after 
the  manner  of  Cecil's  Life  and  Remains.  But,  on  farther  con- 
sideration, it  was  thought  better  to  defer  them,  to  be  probably 
inserted  in  the  last  volume  of  his  Works,  which  the  family  are 
preparing  to  publish,  in  a  uniform  edition. 

He  lately  began,  at  my  request,  a  System  of  Di-vinity,  to  be 
continued  in  monthly  letters  ;  but  his  sickness  and  death  pre- 
vented my  receiving  more  than  nine.  He  had  also  commenced 
long  ago  a  very  important  work  against  Antinomianism  ;*  and 
another  treatise  on  Spiritual  Pride.  He  left  an  unfinished 
manuscript  on  the  Comftosition  of  a  Sermon.  And  Letters 
between  Architifius  and  Efiafihras,  illustrating  the  scriptural 
mode  of  treating  an  awakened  sinner ;  and  two  or  three  excel- 
lent Sermons  have  been  taken  down  or  written  out  pretty  largely. 
Most  of  these  may  yet  be  presented  to  the  public. 

A  small  edition  of  this  manuscript  has  been  recently  printed,  at  the 
urgent  request  of  some  judicious  friends  of  different  denominations,  who 
considered  it  too  important  to  be  suppressed,  and  peculiarly  suited  to  the 
present  times. 


CHAP.  VII. 

ITR.  FULLER'S  UNWEARIED   EXERTIONS   IN  BEHALF  OF 

THE    BAPTIST     MISSIONARY   SOCIETY THE    RISE   OF 

THAT  SOCIETY—SENDING  OFT  OF  MESSRS.  THOMA?  AND 

CAREY SPECIMENS  OF   MR.   FULLER^  CORRESPOND- 

ENCE  WITH  THE  MISSIONARIES — HIS  JOURNIES  INTO 
SCOTLAND  ;  CONNECTED  WITH  OBSERVATIONS  ON  THE 
STATE  OF  RELIGION  THERE  AND  THE  SANDEMANIAN 
CONTROVERSY  ;  CONVERSATION  WITH  A  JEW  AND 
OTHER  TRAVELLERS,  &C. 

WITH  regard  to  Mr.  Fuller's  active  concern  for  the  welfare 
of  the  Baptist  Mission,  from  his  appointment  as  Secretary 
at  its  first  formation,  till  his  death,  it  is  impossible  to  do  ful] 
justice  to  his  indefatigable  zeal,  his  assiduous  attention  to  what- 
ever could  promote  its  welfare,  and  the  uncommon  prudence 
with  which  he  conducted  all  measures  that  related  to  it  at  home, 
and  gave  counsel  to  those  that  most  needed  it  abroad.  The  ex- 
cellent Pearce,  while  he  was  living,  selected  the  Periodical  Ac- 
counts, inspected  the  printing,  aided  much  in  the  collections  ; 
but  this  advantage  was  not  long  enjoyed.  His  brother  Sut- 
cliff  was  almost  all  the  time  near  at  hand,  and  Mr.  Fuller  was 
greatly  assisted  by  his  prudence  and  judgment,  on  every  emer- 
gency ;  and  he  repeatedly  accompanied  him  in  his  journies  te 
the  northern  parts  of  the  island.  But  Mr.  Fuller's  own  coun- 
sels and  labours  in  a  great  variety  of  ways  were,  under  God,  of 
the  most  essential  service  from  first  to  last.  As  to  the  imme- 
diate origin  of  a  Baptist  Mission,  I  believe  God  himself  in- 
fused into  the  mind  of  Carey  that  solicitude  for  the  sal- 
vation of  the  heathen,  which  cannot  fairly  be  traced  to 
any  other  source.  When  he  went  to  Birmingham  to  col- 
lect for  the  meeting-house  he  had  built  at  Moulton,  he  had  men- 
tioned the  proposal  there.  A  friend  urged  him  to  write  and 
print  upon  it,  and  offered  to  give  ten  pounds  towards  paying 
the  printer.  On  hi*  return  he  met  Brother  Fuller  and  Brother 
Sutcliff  in  my  study  at  Northampton,  and  then  pressed  one  of 
us  to  publish  on  the  subject.  We  approved  much  of  what  he 
urged,  yet  made  some  objections,  on  the  ground  of  so  much 
needing  to  be  done  at  home,  &c.  However,  when  he  could  not 
prevail  on  either  of  us  to  promise  to  undertake  the  work,  he 


MR.    FULLER.  1 

said  he  must  tell  the  whole  truth  ;  that  in  the  warmth  of  conver- 
sation at  Birmingham,  he  had  said  that  he  was  resolved  to  do  all 
in  his  power  to  set  on  foot  a  Baptist  Mission.     "  Weil,  (said  his 
friend,)  print  upon  the  subject,  I  will  help  bear  the  expense.' 
That  he  replied  he  could  not  do.    "  If  you  cannot  do  it  as  you 
wish,  yet  do  it  as  well  as  you  can  ;  (said  his  friend,)  you  have 
just  now  bound  yourself  to  do  all  you  can  for  this  purpose,  and  I 
must  keep  you  to  your  word."     Being  thus  caught  through  his 
own  zeal,  he  could  get  off  no  other  way,  than  by  promising  that  he 
would  write,  if  he  could  not  prevail  on  any  one  more  competent 
to  undertake  it.     We  then   all  united  in  saying,  "  Do  by   all 
means  write  your  thoughts  clown  as  soon  as  you  can ;  but  be 
not  in  a  hurry  to  print  them  ;  let  us  look  over  them,  and  see  if 
any  thing  need  be  omitted,  altered,  or  added.'     Thus  encour- 
aged, he   soon  applied  himself  to  the  work,  and  showed  us  the 
substance  of  the  pamphlet  afterwards  printed,  which  we  found 
needed  very  little  correction.     So  much  had  this  young  man 
attained  of  the  knowledge  of  geography  and  history,  and  several 
languages,  in  the  midst  of  the  pressures  of  poverty,  and  while 
obliged  to  support  himself  and  his  family  at  first  as  a  journey- 
man  shoemaker,  and   afterwards  as  a  village  schoolmaster; 
since   his  people  could  raise  him  but  ten  or  eleven  pounds  a 
year,  besides  five  pounds  from  the  London  fund.* 

*  I  never  formally  examined  the  proficiency  he  had  then  made  in  learn- 
ing Latin,  Greek,  Hebrew,  French,  Dutch,  Italian,  &c  but  one  anecdote 
•will  illustrate  what,  indeed,  his  subsequent  attainments  render  unnecessary 
to  be  proved  I  one  day  had  occasion  thus  to  address  him :  "  Well,  Mr.  Ca- 
rey, you  remember  I  laughed  at  you  when  1  heard  of  your  learning  Dutch, 
for  I  thought  you  would  never  have  »ny  use  for  that  language  ;  but  now  I 
have  the  first  opportunity  of  profiting  by  it.  1  have  received  a  parcel  from 
Dr.  Erskine  of  Edinburgh,  who  has  long  been  used  to  send  me  anv  inter- 
esting publications  which  he  receives  from  America,  or  which  have  beei; 
printed  in  Scotland  :  and  this  parcel  contains  si  veral  of  those  sorts  :  but 
he  says  I  shall  wonder  that  he  has  inclosed  a  Dutch  book.  This,  he  in- 
forms me,  is  a  volume  of  Sermons  written  by  a  Divine  now  living  in  Holland  ; 
at  the  end  of  which  is  a  Dissertation  on  the  Call  of  the  Gospel,  which,  if 
any  friend  of  mine  or  Mr.  Fuller's  understands  the  language  sufficiently  to 
translate  it  for  us,  we  should  be  glad  to  see.  "  Now  (said  1  to  Mr.  Carey,) 
if  you  will  translate  this  Dissertation  for  me,  1  will  give  you  the  whole 
book."  He  soon  brought  me  a  good  Dissertation  on  the  subject,  and  after- 
wards an  extraordinary  Sermon  on  Hosea,  Chap.  iii.  which  i  doubt  not 
18 


MEAIO1KS    OF 

Between  Carey  and  Fuller  there  never  was  a  moment's  ri« 
valship,  and  I  have  no  bias  on  my  mind  to  take  a  grain  of  praise 
from  one  to  give  to  the  other :  but  wishing  to  regard  both  with 
impartial  esteem,  and  truth  beyond  both  ;  I  must  consider  the 
Mission  as  originating  absolutely  with  Carey ;  and  Mr.  Fuller's 
acknowledgment  that  he  had  at  first  some  feelings  like  the  de- 
sponding nobleman,  in  2  Kings  vii.  2.  is  a  confirmation  of  my 
opinion.     This,  however,  is  of  small  consequence.     Sometime 
after  the  conversation  in  my  study,  occurred  the  minister's 
meeting  at  Clipstone,  in  April,  179  f.     An  uncommon  degree  of 
attention  seemed  to  me  to  be  excited  by  both  sermons :  I  know 
not  under  which  I  felt  the  most,  whether  Brother  SutclifFs,  on 
being  very  jealous  for  the  Lord  God  of  Hosts,  or  Brother  Ful- 
ler's, on  the  pernicious  influence  of  delay.     Both  were  very 
impressive  ;  and  the  mind  of  every  one  with  whom  I  conversed, 
seemed  to  feel  a  solemn  conviction  of  our  need  of  greater  zeal, 
and  of  the  evil  of  negligence  and  procrastination.     I  suppose 
that  scarcely  an  idle  word  was  spoken  while  I  stayed,  and  in> 
mediately  after  dinner,  Carey  introduced  the  subject  of  begin- 
ning a  Mission.     I  had  to  preach  at  home  that  night,  fourteen 
miles  off,  and   was  obliged  to  leave  the  company  before  the 
conversation  ended.     At  the  ensuing  Association,  held  at  Oak- 
ham,  it  was  announced  that  these  sermons  would  be  immediate- 
ly sent  to  the  press.     The  next  Association  was  at  Nottingham, 
May  30,  1792,  when  Brother  Carey  delivered  a  most  impres- 
sive discourse,  from  Isai.  liv.  2,  3  chiefly  endeavouring  to  en- 
force our  obligations  to  exfiect  great  things  from   God,  and  to 
attempt  great  things  for  God.     If  all  the  people  had  lifted  up 
their  voice  and  wept,  as  the  children  of  Israel  did  at  Bochim, 
(Judges   ii.)  I  should  not  have  wondered  at  the  effect,  it  would 
have  only  seemed  proportionate  to  the  cause ;  so  clearly  did  he 
prove  the  criminality  of  our  supineness  in  the  cause  of  God. 

were  translated  from  this  book.  I  once  also,  in  an  accidental  way,  made  a 
trial  of  his  skill  in  French  ;  and  hence,  at  that  early  period,  1  inferred, 
that,  as  his  motives  to  learn  Latin,  Greek,  and  Heberew  must  have  been 
stronger  than  those  that  excited  him  to  acquire  French  and  Dutch,  his 
proficiency  in  them  could  not  be  less  His  prestnt  eminence  in  Oriental 
literature  every  one  acknowledges — But  it  is  pleasant  to  trace  the  rise  of 
the  oak  from  aa  acorn. 


MR,   FULLER*  J39 

A  resolution  was  printed  in  this  year's  Letter,  i  That  a  plan  be 
prepared  against  the  next  minister's  meeting  at  Kettering,  for 
forming  a  Baptist  Society  for  firofiagating  the  Gosfiel  among 
the  Heathens.*  Brother  Carey  generously  engaged  to  devote 
all  the  profits  that  might  arise  from  his  late  publication  on  this 
interesting  subject,  to  the  use  of  such  a  Society. 

This  Society  was  actually  formed  in  Mrs.  Beeby  Wallis's 
back  parlour,  on  October  2,  1792.  As  all  the  friends  of  the 
Baptist  Mission  know,  we  began  with  a  subscription  of  £  13.  2*. 
6c/.but  at  a  second  meeting,  at  Northampton,  Qct.  31,  Brother 
Pearce  brought  the  surprising  sum  of  £70.  from  his  friends  at 
Birmingham,  which  put  new  spirits  into  us  all.  Still  we  knew 
not  how  to  proceed,  whom  to  send,  nor  where  to  begin  our  op- 
erations. Pearce  had  read  the  account  of  the  Pellew  Islands, 
and  was  inclined  to  propose  them  for  the  object  of  our  first  at- 
tempt. But  just  at  this  time,  Mr.  John  Thomas  returned  from 
Bengal.  He  had  repeatedly  written  from  thence  to  Dr.  Sten- 
nett,  to  my  father,  and  to  Mr.  Booth,  and  given  some  account  of 
his  conferences  with  the  natives  :  we  found  he  was  now  en- 
deavouring to  raise  a  fund  for  a  mission  to  that  country,  and  tp 
engage  a  companion  to  go  out  with  him.  It  was  resolved  to 
make  some  farther  inquiry  respecting  him,  and  to  invite  him 
to  go  back  under  the  patronage  of  our  Society.  I  had  visited 
Bristol  in  the  latter  end  of  August  and  beginning  of  September 
preceding ;  and  took  a  second  journey  thither,  to  supply  the 
church  in  Broadmead  the  last  Lord's  day  in  i  792,  and  the  first 
three  in  1793  ;  consequently  I  was  not  present  when  the  Com- 
mittee met  at  Bettering,  Jan.  10,  when  Carey  first  offered  him- 
self to  go  as  a  companion  to  Mr.  Themas :  but  the  particulars 
are  stated  in  the  Narrative  of  our  Mission.  One  circumstance 
has  not  yet  been  made  public.  Dear  Brother  Pearce  went  to 
London  with  Thomas  and  Carey.  He  examined  if  it  would  be 
prudent  to  apply  for  the  leave  of  the  Directors.  He  found  that 
we  should  in  all  probability  meet  with  a  refusal ;  which  would  be 
more  embarrassing  to  our  minds,  and  would  render  it  more  of- 
fensive to  the  Company,  should  they  get  out  in  defiance  of  them, 
than  if  they  went  without  leave  and  without  prohibition.  A  captain 
who  had  known  Mr.  Thomas,  offered  to  take  them  out  without 


140  MEMOIRS    O* 

leave.  We  did  not  know  what  to  do :  conscious  that  we  meant 
no  ill  to  any  one,  and  were  aiming  to  discharge  a  most  important 
duty,  Brother  Pearce  consented  to  the  plan.  They  embarked  ; 
but  while  they  lay  off  the  Isle  of  Wight,  one  Saturday  I  received 
a  letter  from  Brother  Fuller,  saying, — "  We  are  quite  disap- 
pointed respecting  our  Missionaries,  who  are  obliged  to  leave 
the  ship.  A  letter  has  been  received  by  the  Captain,  signed 
Verax,  in  which  he  is  informed,  that  an  information  will  be  laid 
against  him,  for  taking  out  persons  not  authorized  by  the  Com- 
pany, and  reminding  him  that  he  knows  what  the  consequences 
will  be.  The  Captain  has  therefore  insisted  upon  our  breth- 
ren's leaving  the  ship.  Well,  I  never  liked  this  way  of  going 
out ;  though,  as  there  seemed  no  possibility  of  finding  any  oth- 
er, I  yielded  to  it :  perhaps  all  may  yet  be  for  the  best ;  but  we 
must  call  a  Committee  immediately,  to  consider  what  should  be 
done.  If  you  will  write  to  some  of  the  Committee,  I  will  write 
to  others."  Such  I  well  remember  was  the  purport  of  Brother 
Fuller's  letter  to  me  ;  in  compliance  with  which  I  was  just 
going  to  write  as  he  requested,  when  in  came  Thomas  and  Ca- 
rey. At  seeing  them  I  said,  "  Well,  I  know  not  whether  to 
say  I  am  glad  or  sorry  to  see  you  !"  They  replied,  "  If  you 
are  sorry,  your  sorrow  may  be  turned  into  joy,  for  it  is  all  for 
the  best.  We  have  been  at  Hackleton,  and  have  seen  Mrs. 
Carey  ;  she  is  well  recovered  from  her  confinement,  and  is  now 
able  to  accompany  her  husband,  and  is  willing  to  go."  I  think 
they  said,  that  she  had  at  first  refused  :  they  left  the  house,  and 
had  walked  half  a  mile,  when  Mr.  Thomas  proposed  to  go 
back  again,  an  additional  argument  having  struck  his  mind  to 
use  with  her.  They  went  back  ;  she  said  she  would  go,  if  her 
sister  would  go  with  her.  They  then  pleaded  with  the  sister, 
that  it  depended  on  her  whether  the  family  should  be  separated 
or  not.  Since  Mrs.  Short's  return  from  India,  she  has  told  me 
that  she  hastened  up  stairs  to  pray,  and  when  she  came  down, 
told  them  she  was  willing  to  go.  Having  related  the  above, 
they  told  me  they  had  heard  of  a  Danish  ship  which  would  be 
in  the  Downs  in  four  days,  and  had  room  for  them  all.  "  But 
(said  they,)  the  necessity  of  the  case  requires  we  should  set  oft* 
immediately,  and  travel  all  day  to-morrow  ;  but  we  must  have 


MR.  FULLER.  Ml 

two  hundred  pounds  more  to  pay  for  the  passage  of  the  family." 
I  replied,  "  I  have  about  nine  pounds  in  my  hands,  belonging 
to  the  Mission,  and  between  four  and  five  pounds  of  my  own, 
that  is  all  with  which  I  can  furnish  you."  "  We  must  have  two 
hundred,"  they  said.  «  Well,  I  recollect,  (said  I,)  that  there  is 
at  Kettering  a  bill  of  two  hundred  pounds  sent  from  Yorkshire: 
it  is  I  suppose  not  yet  due,  for  it  had  a  pretty  long  time  to 
run,  but  that  would  exactly  answer  your  exigencies."  '« We 
have  no  time  to  go  to  Kettering,  (said  they,)  we  must  be  off 
directly."  I  desired  them  to  sit  down  a  few  minutes,  while  I 
wrote  letters  to  Mr.  Newton,  Mr.  Booth,  and  Dr.  Rippon ; 
stating  the  case,  and  requesting  them  to  advance  the  money, 
which  I  assured  them  could  be  immediately  repaid.  And 
thus  we  parted,  expecting  never  more  to  meet  on  earth.  Carey 
went  down  to  Gravesend  ;  Thomas  returned  to  the  ship  at  the 
Isle  of  Wight,  hired  an  oyter-boat,  to  take  their  goods,  (which 
should  support  them  for  the  first  year)  from  the  English  ship 
to  the  Danish  :  at  that  time  I  heard  that  the  coast  swarmed  with 
French  privateers  ;  but  he  met  them  safely  in  the  Downs. 

In  the  mean  time,  Mrs.  Thomas,  who  had  refused  to  go  out 
by  herself,  in  compliance  with  the  pressing  solicitations  of  her 
husband  for  some  years  before,  but  had  now  obtained  leave  to  go 
to  her  friends  in  India,  had  her  spirits  so  raised,  as  to  venture  to 
proceed  with  her  daughter  in  the  English  vessel,  hoping  to  meet 
him  in  India.  These  little  circumstances,  which  deeply  impress- 
ed my  mind  as  indications  of  the  hand  of  Providence,  protecting 
us  in  our  feeble  beginnings,  I  shall  be  excused  for  introducing  in 
this  place.  It  is  pleasant  to  look  back,  and  see  how  the  Lord  led 
us  on,  when  we  began  a  work  for  conducting  which  we  were 
very  little  prepared  by  any  previous  means.  Well  may  we  ex- 
claim, What  hath  God  wrought!  For  surely  it  was  he  that  raised 
up  his  own  instruments,  both  for  the  foreign  and  the  home  de- 
partment. All  was  his  doing,  and  is  marvellous  in  our  eyes. 

Never  was  a  man  more  indefatigable  in  any  work  for  God, 
than  Brother  Fuller  was  in  his  exertions  of  every  kind  for  the 
welfare  of  this  Society  ;  and  he  found  that  in  all  such  labour 
there  is  profit.  He  writes  thus  concerning  it,  in  his  diary,  of 
July  18,  1794. 


142  MEMOIRS    OF 

«  Within  the  last  year  or  two,  we  have  formed  a  Missionary 
Society  ;  and  have  been  enabled  to  send  out  two  of  our  brethren 
to  the  East  Indies.  My  heart  has  been  greatly  interested  in  this 
•work.  Surely  I  never  felt  more  genuine  love  to  God  and  to  his 
cause  in  my  life.  I  bless  God  that  this  work  has  been  a  means 
of  reviving  my  soul.  If  nothing  else  comes  of  it,  I  and  many 
more  have  obtained  a  spiritual  advantage.  My  labours  however 
in  this  harvest,  I  have  reason  to  think,  brought  on  a  paralytic 
stroke,  by  which,  in  January  1793,  I  for  a  week  or  two  lost  the 
use  of  one  side  of  my  face.  That  was  recovered  in  a  little 
time  ;  but  it  left  behind  it  a  head-ache,  which  I  have  reason  to 
think  will  never  fully  leave  me.  I  have  ever  since  been  inca- 
pable of  reading  or  writing  with  intense  application.  At  this 
time  I  am  much  better  than  I  was  last  year,  but  even  now  read- 
ing or  writing  for  a  few  hours  will  bring  on  the  head-ache. 
Upon  the  whole,  however,  I  feel  satisfied.  It  was  in  the  ser- 
vice of  God.  If  a  man  lose  his  limbs  or  his  health  by  intem- 
perance, it  is  to  his  dishonour ;  but  not  so  if  he  lose  them  in 
serving  his  country.  Paul  was  desirous  of  dying  to  the  Lord  ; 
so  let  me." 

Yet  he  complained  that  these  engagements  were  some  im- 
pediment to  his  pastoral  duties  ;  and  wrote  thus,  Oct.  27,  1794. 

«  Of  late  I  have  been  greatly  employed  in  journeying  and 
preaching,  and  endeavouring  to  collect  for  the  East  India  Mis- 
sion. I  find  a  frequent  removal  from  place  to  place,  though 
good  for  my  health,  not  good  for  my  soul.  I  feel  weary  of 
journies,  on  account  of  their  interfering  so  much  with  my  work 
at  home.  I  long  to  visit  my  congregation,  that  I  may  know 
more  of  their  spiritual  concerns,  and  be  able  to  preach  to  their 
cases." 

Still  however,  the  increasing  importance  of  the  Mission  called 
for  increasing  exertions  at  home,  and  Mr.  Fuller  entered  into 
the  business  with  his  whole  soul.  He  never  pressed  and  urged 
the  case  on  those  that  were  reluctant ;  but  simply  told  an  un- 
varnished tale,  and  left  it  to  conscience  to  dictate  whether  it 
deserved  assistance.  At  first  he  met  with  many  rebuffs ;  and 
he  was  so  grieved  with  the  want  of  greater  zeal  for  the  cause 


MB.    FULLER.  141) 

of  God,  that  he  sometimes  retired  from  the  more  public  streets 
of  London  into  the  back  lanes,  that  he  might  not  be  seen  by 
other  passengers,  to  weep  for  his  having  so  little  success.  But 
by  degrees  God  roused  the  zeal  of  our  own  brethren,  and  those 
of  other  denominations,  to  assist  in  this  cause.  On  one  occa- 
sion, I  remember,  a  gentleman  told  him,  that  if  it  had  been  a 
case  of  personal  distress  he  would  help  a  Baptist,  as  well  as 
another  man ;  but  he  did  not  think  it  consistent  to  aid  our 
spreading  the  gospel  abroad,  as  we  should  doubtless  spread  our 
own  peculiar  ideas  of  Baptism  with  it.  "  Well,  sir,  (said  he,) 
I  have  such  a  case  in  my  pocket,  and  can  assure  you  it  is  a  good 
one  ;  but  I  do  not  wish  you  to  do  what  your  conscience  would 
restrict  you  from  doing."  The  gentleman  gave  to  this  more 
private  case.  The  next  time  Mr.  Fuller  came  to  town,  he  saw 
the  same  gentleman  again,  and  applied  to  another,  in  his  pres- 
ence, on  behalf  of  the  Mission  ;  but  said  nothing  to  him  on  the 
subject.  "  Well,  (said  he,)  Mr.  Fuller,  you  do  not  ask  me 
this  time."  No,  sir,  (said  Mr.  F.)  you  told  me  you  did  not 
think  it  your  duty."  "  True,  (said  the  gentleman,)  but  per- 
haps my  conscience  is  now  better  informed."  Mr.  F.  then 
thankfully  accepted  his  money  for  the  Mission. 

For  several  years  past  he  spent  nearly  a  fourth  part  of  his 
time  in  journies  to  collect  for  the  support  of  this  Society  ;  and 
a  great  part  of  his  time  at  home  was  occupied  in  the  same  con- 
cerns. He  went  five  times  into  Scotland,*  once  to  Ireland,! 
and  many  times  to  London,  on  the  business  of  the  Mission  ; 
besides  journies  to  Lancashire,  Yorkshire,  Norfolk,  Essex3  the 
West  of  England,  and  Wales. 

«  Besides  this,  he  wrote  frequently  to  the  Missionaries  indi- 
vidually, and  drew  up  most  of  the  letters  which  were  sent  to 
them  from  the  Society.  He  often  had  occasion  to  apply  on  their 
behalf  to  persons  of  influence,  connected  either  with  the  East 
India  Company,  or  with  the  British  Government ;  and  gener- 
ally he  discovered  peculiar  sagacity  and  readiness  of  thought, 
in  all  his  intercourse,  even  with  persons  who  moved  in  a  very 
different  line  to  that  to  which  he  himself  had  been  accustomed. 

*  Itt  1799— 1*03—1805—1808— -1813,  t  In  18^- 


144  MEMOIRS    OF 

He  ably  defended  the  cause  of  Missions  in  general,  and  oi' 
our  own  in  particular,  in  that  Jljiology,  in  three  parts,  which  has 
been  already  noticed  in  the  catalogue  of  his  works ;  and  which 
was  published  in  reply  to  the  misrepresentations  and  objections 
made,  in  several  hostile  publications. 

In  short,  the  whole  weight  of  its  concerns  lay  far  more 
upon  him  than  upon  any  man  in  England,  and  he  cared  for  it 
night  and  day,  and  most  disinterestedly  laid  himself  out  for  its 
welfare,  from  its  commencement  to  his  death.  While  on  a 
journey  with  a  confidential  friend,  he  once  remarked,  "  Friends 
talk  to  me  about  coadjutors  and  assistants,  but  I  know  not  how 
it  is,  I  find  a  difficulty.  Our  undertaking  to  India  really  ap- 
peared to  me,  on  its  commencement,  to  be  somewhat  like  a 
few  men,  who  were  deliberating  about  the  importance  of  pene- 
trating into  a  deep  mine,  which  had  never  before  been  explored. 
We  had  no  one  to  guide  us,  and  while  we  were  thus  deliber- 
ating, CAREY,  as  it  were,  said,  {  Well,  I  will  go  down  if  i/ozj 
will  hold  the  rope.'  But  before  he  went  down,  (continued  Mr- 
Fuller,)  he,  as  it  seemed  to  me,  took  an  oath  from  each  of  us, 
at  the  mouth  of  the  pit,  to  this  effect,  that  '  while  we  lived, 
we  should  never  let  go  the  rope.'  You  understand  me.  There 
was  great  responsibility  attached  to  us  who  began  the  busi- 
ness :  and  so  I  find  a  difficulty." 

Accordingly  his  whole  soul  appeared  to  be  engaged  in  these 
concerns,  and  he  "  naturally  cared"  for  the  welfare  of  our 
dear  brethren  abroad  ;  and  from  time  to  time  communicated 
early  intelligence  to  distant  friends,  respecting  the  progress  of 
the  Missionaries,  both  in  translating  the  Scriptures,  and  spread- 
ing the  knowledge  of  the  gospel  among  the  heathen. 

In  all  our  Committee  Meetings  our  concerns  were  man- 
aged without  debate  or  contention  ;  and  this,  not  because  others 
had  not  full  liberty  to  state  their  opinions,  but  because  we  all  felt 
as  brethren  ;  and  if  his  opinion  was  treated  with  peculiar  re- 
spect, it  was  because  .we  found  by  constant  experience,  that  such 
was  the  soundness  of  his  judgment,  that  we  scarcely  ever  had 
cause  to  regret  a  compliance  with  his  advice. 

Our  Missionaries  would  have  rejoiced  if  it  had  been  possi- 
ble for  him  to  have  written  to  them  much  more  frequently  and 


MR.    FULLER.  145 

largely  than  he  did  ;  and  I  doubt  not  but  they  could  furnish  us 
with  far  more  remarkable  proofs  of  the  value  of  his  corres- 
pondence than  I  can  insert  in  this  publication.  A  very  small 
specimen  of  his  correspondence,  however,  I  am  able  to  sub- 
join. Perhaps  our  brethren  at  Serampore  may  hereafter  give 
us  documents  still  more  interesting. 


TO    MR.    JOHN    THOMAS. 

"Dec.  24,  1795. 
"My  dear  Brother, 

ft Your  work  is  a  great  work,  and  the  eyes  of  the 

religious  world  are  upon  you.  I  often  think  of  the  depth  ot  that 
providence  that  first  took  you  to  India,  inclined  your  heart  to 
the  good  work  of  the  Lord,  and  brought  you  to  England  in  search 
of  an  Assistant,  just  at  the  time  that  we  were  in  quest  of  an 
opening.  Your  undertaking,  with  that  of  your  dear  colleague, 
has  provoked  many.  The  spirit  of  Missions  is  gone  forth. 
I  wish  it  may  never  stop  till  the  gospel  is  sent  into  all  the 
world.  Do  not,  my  dear  Brother,  give  way  to  a  spirit  of  de- 
jection. Look  forward  to  your  reward.  You  are  sowing  a 
seed,  the  fruit  of  which  may  grow  to  the  end  of  time,  and 
may  add  to  the  harvest  of  everlasting  joy.  How  often  do  I 
think  of  you,  especially  on  a  Lord's  day  morning.  My  eye 
glances  more  swift  than  lightning  to  your  abodes.  There 
methinks  I  see  you,  I  hear  you  pleading  with  a  people  of  a 

strange  language.     My  soul  goes  up  to  God  for   you 

8  Lord  bless  them,  keep  them,  support  them,  succeed  them  1* 
and  thus  I  doubt  not  pray  thousands  of  your  brethren.     My 
dear  Brother,  the  Lord  Jesus  Christ  be  with  your  spirit.     Our 
friends  unite  in  affectionate  regards  to  you  all,  with 
"  Your  affectionate  Brother, 

«  A.  FULLER." 

Mr.  Thomas  was  a  man  possessed  of  many  admirable  quali- 
fications, but  liable  to  great  inequalities  in   his  natural  spirits, 

and  not  always  so  steady  and  so  prudent  as  could  be  wished, 
19 


146  MEMOIRS    OF 

though  we  had  good  room  to  believe  his  heart  was  right 
with  God.  A  letter  from  himself  to  Brother  Pearce  now  lost 
and  forgotten,  led  Mr.  Fuller  to  think  it  needful  to  address  him 
once  in  the  following  close  and  tender  manner. 

TO    MB.    JOHN    THOMAS. 

«  May  16,  1796. 
"  My  very  dear  Brother, 

I  have  read  yours  to  Bi  other  Pearce.  O  what  feelings  does 
it  excite  1  How  could  I  weep  on  your  account.  Nay,  before  I 
write  any  more,  I  will  go  aside,  and  weep  and  pray  for  you,  to 
him  who  alone  can  deliver  your  soul  from  death,  and  keep  your 
feet  from  falling. 

"  My  dear  Brother,  it  has  afforded  me  some  consolation  while 
pleading  with  God  on  your  behalf,  that  his  help  could  fly  swifter 
than  this  letter.  O  that  before  this  arrives  you  may  be  delivered 
from  the  horrible  pit  1 

"  Shall  I  tell  you  a  little  of  my  own  experience  ?  At  one 
period  of  my  life  I  had  a  severe  domestic  trial.  My  heart 
melted  under  it  like  wax.  I  cried  much  to  the  Lord,  and  he  de- 
livered me  out  of  my  affliction.  At  first  I  thought  I  could  never 
forget  his  goodness,  I  erected,  as  it  were  a  memorial  to  it,  and 
charged  my  soul  to  live  to  him  all  my  future  life.  But  within 
a  few  months  after  my  troubles  had  subsided,  I  sunk  insensibly 
into  a  kind  of  lassitude,  and  neglected  to  watch  and  pray.  I  be- 
came careless  and  indolent,  and  my  work  became  less  interest- 
ing to  me  than  heretofore.  In  this  state  of  mind  I  was  accosted 
with  temptations,  which  though  they  did  not  draw  me  into 
open  sin,  will  cause  deep  self-abasement  to  the  end  of  my  life. 
My  hands  hung  down  like  a  bulrush,  and  I  had  no  pleasure  in 
myself.  I  used  to  preach,  and  resolved  to  preach  the  truth, 
though  it  should  rise  up  in  judgment  at  the  last  day  to  condemn 
me :  and  often  have  I  gone  into  the  pulpit  with  the  idea,  that 
possibly  it  might  be  only  heightening  my  condemnation.  I  sel- 
dom was  without  hope ;  though  I  sometimes  feared  that  I  did 
not  refrain  from  sin  because  I  loved  God,  but  because  I 


MR.    FULLER.  147 

afraid  of  the  consequences ;  which  I  could  not  but  consider  a 
mark  of  a  wicked  character.  Though  I  had  nearly  lost  the  en- 
joyments of  religion,  I  was  almost  equally  unacquainted  with  its 
sorrows.  My  heart  refused  to  melt.  A  tear  though  shed  in 
anguish,  was  to  me  a  real  enjoyment.  A  deep  dejection  seized 
me,  which,  though  I  stroveto  throw  it  off  in  company,  would  be 
sure  to  return  as  soon  as  I  retired.  I  did  not  neglect  private 
prayer,  but  had  no  enjoyment  in  it.  I  used  to  cast  myself 
prostrate  before  the  Lord,  depressed  under  the  load  of  a  hard 
heart.  Now  and  then  I  groaned  out,  '  God  be  merciful  to  me 
a  sinner.'  I  never  till  then  understood  the  xxxii.  and  xxxviiith 
Psalms,  in  which  the  Psalmist  appears  to  describe  the  state  of 
his  mind  after  his  sin,  and  previous  to  his  restoration.  Psa. 
xxxii.  3,  4.  and  xxxviii.  1 — 10.  O,  thought  I,  blessed  indeed  is 
the  man  whose  transgression  is  forgiven,  and  in  whose  spirit 
there  is  no  guile  !  But  it  is  not  so  with  me  !  I  had  used  to  make 
memorandums  in  a  kind  of  diary  ;  but  now  I  left  it  off.  I  used 
now  and  then,  however,  to  write  a  little ;  and  I  will  give  you  an 
extract. 

« <  Oct.  3,  1789. — I  feel  at  times  some  longings  after  the  lost 
joys  of  salvation,  but  cannot  recover  them.  I  have  departed 
from  God ;  and  yet  I  may  rather  be  said  to  be  habitually  de- 
jected on  account  of  it,  than  earnestly  to  repent  for  it.  I  find 
much  hardness  of  heart,  and  a  spirit  of  inactivity  has  laid  hold  of 
me  ;  I  feel  that  to  be  carnally-minded  is  death.  O  that  it  were 
with  me  as  in  months  past !' 

"  About  this  time  I  read  Dr.  Owen  on  Mortification  of  Sin 
with  great  advantage,  which  I  will  send  you.  It  will  be  accom- 
panied with  my  prayers,  that  it  may  be  of  as  much  use  to  you 
as  it  was  to  me. 

«  Within  these  few  years,  my  soul  has  not  only  recovered  its 
former  tone  ;  but,  blessed  be  God  I  a  greater  degree  of  spiritual 
strength  than  at  any  former  period :  and  I  think  my  engage- 
ment in  the  work  of  the  Mission  has  more  than  any  thing 
contributed  to  it.  Before  this  I  did  little  but  pore  oyer  my  mis- 
ery ;  but  since  I  have  betaken  myself  to  greater  activity  for 
God,  my  strength  has  been  recovered,  and  my  soul  replenished. 
I  have  not  been  contented  with  ransacking  for  past  evidences 


148  MEMOIRS    0* 

of  love  to  God  j  but  have  been  enabled  to  love  and  serve  him 
afresh ;  looking  for  mercy  to  the  Lamb  of  God,  who  taketh 
away  the  sin  of  the  world.  But  I  still  look  back  to  the  worm- 
wood and  the  gall.  My  soul  hath  them  still  in  remembrance 
and  is  humbled  in  me.  Should  this  recital  of  the  Lord's 
dealings  with  me  be  of  use  to  you,  how  thankful  shall  I  be ', 
The  Lord  Jesus  Christ  be  with  thy  spirit. 
"  Affectionately  yours, 

«  A.  FULLER." 

TO    MR.    AND    MRS.    C  HATER,    AND    MR.    AND     MRS.     ROBINSON. 

"fettering,  Afiril  5,  1806- 
"  My  -very  dear  Brethren  and  Sisters, 

« It  was  painful  to  me  to  be  obliged  to  leave  you  so  soon? 
but  I  could  not  do  otherwise.  My  hands  are  now  full  of  en- 
gagements, that  must  be  attended  to  in  a  few  hours.  I  just 
write  to  you  a  few  lines  again,  to  express  my  earnest  concern 
for  your  welfare ;  and  to  bid  you  farewell  in  the  name  of  the 
Lord.  Brother  Chater  requested  a  copy  of  the  discourse  at  Ox- 
ford, or  so  much  of  it  as  I  could  recover.  I  cannot  furnish 
this  in  time,  as  I  must  set  off  for  Leicestershire  early  on 
Monday  morning.  But  I  will  endeavour  to  do  it,  and  that 
at  Devonshire-square  too,  shortly ;  and  send  them  by  one  of 
the  spring  ships,  which  may  arrive  soon  after  you. 

"  There  is  the  greatest  necessity  for  us  all  to  keep  near  to 
God,  and  to  feel  that  we  are  in  that  path  of  which  he  approves^ 
This  will  sustain  us  in  times  of  trial.  The  want  of  this  can- 
not be  supplied  by  any  thing  else.  Beware  of  those  things 
which  draw  a  veil  between  him  and  you,  or  that  render  a  throne 
of  grace  unwelcome.  If  God  be  with  you,  you  shall  do  well ; 
you  shall  be  blessings  among  the  sailors,  among  the  brethren 
in  India,  and  among  the  natives.  Be  very  conversant  with 
your  Bibles.  The  company  we  keep,  and  the  books  we  read, 
insensibly  form  us  into  the  same  likeness.  I  love  to  converse 
with  a  Christian,  whose  mind  is  imbued  with  the  sentiments  of 
the  Scriptures.  I  find  it  advantageous  to  read  a  part  of  the 
Scriptures  to  myself  before  private  prayer,  and  often  to  turn  it 


MR.    FULLER.  149 

into  prayer  as  I  read  it.  Do  not  read  the  Scriptures  merely  as 
preachers,  in  order  to  find  a  text,  or  something  to  say  to  the 
people  ;  but  read  them  that  you  may  get  good  to  your  own 
souls.  Look  at  the  Saviour  as  he  walks,  as  he  walks  before 
you  ;  and  then  point  others  to  him.  John  i.  35. 

"  Next  to  communion  with  your  God  and  Saviour,  cherish 
love  to  one  another.  Good  sense  and  good  temper  may  pre- 
serve you  from  falling  out  by  the  way,  and  exposing  yourselves 
to  the  censure  of  spectators :  but  this  is  not  enough.  The 
apostolic  precept,  which  is  so  often  repeated,  *  Little  children 
love  one  another,'  includes  more  than  an  abstinence  from  dis- 
cord, or  the  routine  of  civility.  You  must  know  one  another, 
and  love  each  other  in  the  Lord.  To  do  this,  you  must  often 
think  of  the  dying  love  of  Christ  towards  you.  When  I  have 
sometimes  surveyed  the  church  of  which  I  am  a  pastor  indi- 
vidually, my  mind  has  revolted  from  this  member  for  this  fault, 
and  from  another  for  that ;  but  when  I  have  met  them  at  the 
table  of  the  Lord,  one  thought  has  dissipated  all  these  hard 
things  :— -'Feed  the  church  of  God,  which  he  hath  purchased 
with  his  own  blood  !'  O,  thought  I,  if  my  Saviour  could  find 
in  his  heart  to  lay  down  his  life  for  them,  who  am  I,  that  I  should 
withhold  the  tenderest  regards  from  them  ?  If  he  can  forgive 

them,  shall  I  be  unforgiving  ?  Nay  more If  he  could 

lay  down  his  life  for  mc^  and  forgive  me,  who  am  I,  that  I  should 
cherish  a  hard  and  unforgiving  heart  towards  my  brethren  ? 

"  My  dear  Brethren  !  Know  nothing  but  Jesus  Christ  and 
him  crucified.  Be  this  the  summit  of  your  ambition.  For 
you  to  live  must  be  Christ.  You  may  never  be  of  that  literary 
consequence  which  some  are  ;  but  if  you  possess  a  savour  of 
Christ,  you  will  be  blessings  in  your  generation  ;  and  when 
you  die,  your  names  will  be  precious,  not  only  in  India  and 
Britain,  but  in  the  sight  of  the  Lord. 

"  My  dear  Sisters  !  It  is  not  much  that  I  have  known  of  you  : 
but  what  I  have,  has  tended  to  endear  you  to  me.  My  heart  is 
toward  those  young  people  in  our  Israel,  of  both  sexes,  who  have 
offered  themselves  willingly  in  this  divine  war  !  Treat  your 
husbands  with  an  attentive,  respectful,  and  obliging  carriage  ; 
as  I  trust  they  will  treat  you.  Treat  each  other  as  sisters,  and 


MEMOIRS    OF 

the  young;  woman  that  goes  out  with  you  too.  Compel  her  when 
she  parts  with  you  to  part  weeping.  Tears  of  this  sort  are 
worth  more  than  thousands  of  compliments.  Do  not  make  con- 
fidents of  one  another  in  matters  of  offence ;  but  in  a  gentle 
and  tender  way,  get  into  the  habit  of  communicating  to  the 
party  her  faults ;  and  encourage  her  to  do  the  same  by  you- 
This  rule  will  be  necessary,  not  only  on  your  voyage,  but 
through  life.  The  God  of  all  grace  be  with  you  !  Present 
my  kind  love  to  the  dear  Captain  Wickes.  Accept  the  same 
to  yourselves.  My  wife  and  daughter  unite  in  wishing  you 
prosperity  in  the  name  of  the  Lord. 

"  I  am  yours,  very  affectionately, 

«  A.  FULLER." 

The  preceding  letters  can  only  be  considered  as  a  very 
slight  specimen  of  his  mode  of  correspondence  with  the  Mis- 
sionaries. Our  brethren  now  at  Serampore  could  no  doubt  fur- 
nish what  would  be  far  more  interesting. 

He  first  visited  Scotland  in  1799.  Mr.  Fishwick  of  New- 
castle on  Tyne,  (who,  very  soon  after  the  formation  of  the  So- 
ciety, had  sent  us  twenty  pounds,)  was  then  a  partner  in  a  large 
colliery  in  Scotland,  and  sent  our  first  proposals  to  Dr.  Charles 
Stuart,  of  Edinburgh,  and  to  Mr.  Campbell,  a  member  of  the 
Baptist  church  of  which  Mr.  Archibald  McLean  was  pastor : 
they  obtained  also  further  information  from  Dr.  Rippon's  Bafi- 
tist  Register.  In  April  and  May  1794,  Messrs.  Innes  and  Ew- 
ing,*  who  were  then  ministers  of  the  Church  of  Scotland,  took 
a  journey  for  their  health.  They  both  preached  at  Broadmead, 
being  acquainted  with  Mr.  Joseph  Hughes,  then  my  colleague  j 
and  visited  Birmingham  also,  where  they  met  with  Brother 
Pearce.  His  ardent  zeal  for  the  Mission  imparted  to  them  a 
kindred  flame ;  and  they  made  it  farther  known  in  Edinburgh. 
Mr.  M' Lean's  friends  were  for  a  time  kept  back  from  lending 
their  aid,  on  account  of  the  difference  on  some  points  between 
the  Scotch  and  English  Baptists.  But  on  his  return  from  a 
visit  to  London  in  1795,  he  stimulated  his  people  to  aid  our 

*  The  former  now  a  Baptist  minister  at  Edinburgh,  the  latter  an  Ihi 
dependent  at  Glasgow. 


MR.    FULLER.  151 

fission.  Dr.  Stuart  printed  a  small  pamphlet,  and  Mr. 
M'Lean  a  sermon,  on  Psa.  xxii.  27,  28.  which  went  through 
two  editions  ;  and  had  a  very  favourable  effect.  He  preached 
on  the  subject  in  the  Circus,  and  collected  above  a  hundred 
pounds.  Good  Dr.  Erskine,  with  whom  I  kept  up  a  frequent 
correspondence  from  1780  to  his  death,  was  a  cordial  friend. 
He  informed  me,  October  the  25th,  1796,  that  the  Edinburgh 
Missionary  Society  had  voted  unanimously  fifty  pounds,  to  aid 
the  Bengalee  translation.  After  these  things  had  prepared  the 
way,  Messrs.  Haldane  and  Ewing,  began  to  feel  interested  in 
our  success.  And  Mr.  Robert  Haldane  happening  to  inquire  of 
Dr.  Stuart,what  intelligence  he  had  from  the  Baptist  Missionary 
Society,  the  Dr.  replied,  "  Dismal  intelligence  !  The  funds  are 
low,  and  no  success  as  yet."  "  As  to  funds,  (said  he,)  I  always 
intended  to  give  them  somewhat,  but  never  did :  could  you 
desire  Mr.  Fuller  to  draw  on  me  for  a  hundred  pounds,  and  tell 
him  that  if  he  would  come  down  and  preach,  1  am  persuaded 
my  brother  would  welcome  him,  and  so  would  Mr.  Ewing." 
The  Dr.  wrote  by  the  next  post.  Mr.  Fuller  went  down,  and 
met  with  a  kind  reception.  One  evening,  when  many  friends 
were  very  happy  together  in  his  company,  a  lady  said,  "  O 
Sir,  why  did  not  you  come  here  before  ?"  "  Why,  Madam,  (said 
Mr.  Fuller,)  every  man,  as  Sir  Robert  Walpole  said,  has  his 
price  ;  and  till  that  gentleman  there  sent  me  a  hundred  pounds, 
I  did  not  know  it  would  be  worth  while  to  visit  you." 

This  was  in  October  1799.  Mr.  Fuller  kept  a  journal  of  this 
visit  to  Scotland.  I  am  satisfied  that  his  subsequent  visits  al- 
tered his  opinions  of  some  persons  and  things ;  I  shall  there- 
fore not  transcribe  the  whole,  though  I  shall  be  careful  not  to 
disguise  any  thing  I  extract.  He  began  with  these  remarks : — 

"  I  am  going  out  for  a  month  altogether,  among  faces  which 
I  have  never  seen.  My  spirits  revolt  at  the  idea :  but  duty 
calls.  I  go  to  make  collections  for  the  Translations  of  the 
Scriptures  into  Bengalee. 

"  I  am  subject  to  many  faults  in  company,  and  often  incur 
guilt :  The  Lord  keep  me  in  the  way  I  shall  go,  and  enable  me 
to  keep  my  heart  with  all  diligence.  O  that  I  may  be  spiritual, 
humble,  and  watchful,  in  all  companies.  May  the  God  and 


152  MEMOIRS    OP 

Father  of  our  Lord  Jesus  Christ  prosper  my  way  !  May  the 
God  of  Israel  preserve  my  family,  friends,  and  connexions, 
during  my  absence. 

"  Oct.  2,  1799.  Supped  at  an  inn  to  night  at  Bourne  ;  and 
found  myself  very  unexpectedly  in  agreeable  company.  A 
Mr.  Shore,  who  rides  for  Collect  and  Cox,  drapers,  Cheapside, 
and  who  hears  Mr.  Newton,  sat  with  me  during  the  evening. 
He  travels  much  in  this  country,  and  agrees  with  others  in  his 
observations  on  its  profaneness.  Lincolnshire,  Rutland,  Hunt- 
ingdonshire, and  the  Isle  of  Ely,  are  a  kind  of  heathen  parts 
of  the  land.  Some  of  our  farmers  have  observed,  that  if  you  go 
to  a  market  from  Bedford  or  Olney,  on  the  south ;  to  Notting- 
ham, on  the  north,  you  will  see  business  done  in  a  still,  civil, 
decent  manner ;  but  if  you  go  to  the  markets  of  Uppingham, 
Oakham,  Stamford,  or  any  pan  of  Lincolnshire,  you  will  hear 
hundreds  of  oaths  and  lies.  One  swearing  that  he  will  take  no 
less,  another  that  he  will  give  no  more,  and  a  third  wishing  him- 
self accursed  if  he  do  otherwise  than  he  has  said  he  will,  which 
yet  in  a  few  minutes  he  will  do  I  These  parts  of  the  kingdom 
are  nearly  destitute  of  evangelical  preaching :  what  they  have 
which  goes  by  that  name,  is  mostly  tinged  either  with  Armin- 
ianism,  or  with  Antinomianism  ;  which  systems  paralyze  prac- 
tical godliness.  In  this,  I  refer  chiefly  to  the  state  of  things 
among  the  Dissenters  ;  I  have  heard  of  some  evangelical  cler- 
gymen being  settled  hereabouts  ;  but  what  their  preaching  is, 
I  do  not  know.  If  it  be  good,  ytt  it  has  had  but  little  time  at 
present  to  operate. 

"  Mr.  Shore  was  observing  how  similar  the  excuses  of  all 
carnal  men  are,  of  whatever  profession  or  country.  A  canni- 
bal in  the  South  Sea  Islands,  being  reproved  for  the  unnatural 
and  atrocious  nature  of  his  conduct  in  eating  human  flesh,  an- 
swered, <  It  is  so  sweet/  Such  is  the  governing  motive  of  most 
other  sinners.  How  sweet  was  the  hope  of  getting  what  was 
not  their  own,  to  some  hundreds  of  people  at  this  town,  when  I 
entered  it,  who  were  all  on  edge  in  throwing  up  their  shillings 
at  the  stage  of  a  mountebank.  I  was  told  that  a  great  many 
jpoor  men  had  left  their  harvest  work,  and  brought  their  earn- 
ings to  try  their  good  luck  ! 


MR.    FULLER. 

v  3.— Travelled  from  Bourn  to  Barton-on-the-Humber  in  the 
Lincoln  stage,  with  indifferent  company.  Between  Lincoln  and 
Brigg  we  had  a  Mr.  Armfelt  with  us,  a  hearer  of  Mr.  Burn  of 
Birmingham,  who  seemed  to  know  somewhat  of  the  gospel. 

«  4. — Sailed  over  the  Humbar  to  Hull,  in  company  with  Mr. 
Collins,  a  clergyman  from  Bath,  who  has  changed  his  name  to 
Berry.  Preached  at  Mr.  Lyon's  meeting-house :  several  minis- 
ters in  the  town,  or  from  the  neighbourhood,  attended. 

"  5. — This  morning  I  have  been  reading  Soame  Jenyns  on 
the  Internal  Evidence  of  Christianity.  He  seems  according  to 
his  motto,  almost  a  Christian.  I  question  if  miracles  and  proph- 
ecies be  now  wholly  dependent  for  their  validity  on  the  truth  of 
the  Christian  religion,  as  he  suggests,  (/z.  4.)  They  have  each 
characters  which  prove  them  to  be  divine.  As  to  prophecy 
especially,  its  being  fulfilled  is  sufficient  still  to  establish 
its  divinity,  and  consequently  the  divinity  of  the  Christian 
religion.  He  seems  undecided  as  to  many  of  the  doctrines  of 
revelation.  His  answer  to  the  Socinians,  however,  (fi.  24 — 36.) 
is  just  and  pointed.  He  appears  to  have  made  too  much  of  the 
Christian  religion,  being  an  entirely  new  system,  (under  Prop. 
2.)  The  same  principles,  though  with  less  perspicuity,  cer- 
tainly run  through  the  Old  Testament.  What  he  has  said  of 
active  courage  being  no  virtue,  I  hardly  think  is  accurate.  If 
aimed  at  a  right  end,  and  governed  by  the  rule  of  right,  it  is 
right ;  and  Christianity  will  celebrate  it.  ( By  faith  they  waxed 
valiant  in  fight/  No  disposition  of  the  mind,  which  is  purely 
natural,  can  be  either  sinful,  or  otherwise  than  virtuous,  if  ex- 
ercised to  a  right  end,  and  by  a  right  rule.  Active  courage  is  a 
quality  of  God>s  creating,  and  when  consecrated  to  him,  and 
regulated  by  his  revealed  will,  is  virtuous.  As  to  friendship,  it 
has  certainly  been  exemplified,  not  only  between  David  and 
Jonathan,  under  the  Old  Testament,  but  by  Christ  and  John 
under  the  New.  It  is  true,  however,  that  what  frequently  goes 
by  that  name  among  men  is  abhorrent  to  the  New  Testament- 
Christ  wisely  taught  nothing,  he  thinks,  on  the  duties  of  gov- 
ernment, (/z.  53.)  He  taught  that  men  should  do  to  others  as 
they  would  that  others  should  do  to  them  ;  a  principle  which,  if 
acted  upon  by  independent  nations,  as  well  as  individuals,  would 
20 


154  MEMOIRS    OF 

render  the  World  happy.  I  have  no  doubt  but  that  magistrates 
and  subjects  might  both  clearly  learn  their  respective  duties 
from  the  New  Testament.  His  doctrine  of  passive  suffering  I 
suspect  is  carried  beyond  the  design  of  the  New  Testament ; 
which  is  not  to  render  us  stoics,  nor  to  set  aside  all  resentments. 
Were  not  the  reproofs  of  Christ  to  the  Pharisees  mingled  with 
displeasure  at  their  condnct  ?  And  Paul's  speech  to  the  high- 
priest,  *  God  shall  smite  thee,  thou  whited  wall,'  appears  to 
contain  resentment.  It  is  true,  he  made  some  apology  for  it ; 
not,  however  for  the  spirit  of  it,  but  merely  for  its  being  inad- 
vertently addressed  to  <  the  ruler  of  his  people.'  See  also 
John  xviii.  23.  Acts  xvi.  37.  He  represents  a  change  of  dis- 
position as  the  effect  of  repentance,  (fi.  66.)  whereas  it  seems 
•vice  -versa.  It  is  common  for  writers  so  to  explain  the  term 
faith  as  just  to  include  their  own,  and  no  more.  This  writer 
thinks  the  atonement  necessary  to  be  believed.  A  Socinian 
would  deny  this  ;  and  others  would  plead  that  more  was  includ- 
ed under  the  phrase  «  Jesus  Christ  is  the  son  of  God*  than 
Soame  Jenyns  would  plead  for.  I  have  written  my  thoughts 
on  this  in  my  answer  to  Dr  Toulmin,  towards  the  close.  He 
is  right,  I  think,  on  the  moral  nature  of  faith,  (pfi.  70,  71  )  Our 
<  amusements'  must  not  lead  us  <  too  far  out  of  the  way,'  (fi,  75.) 
May  they  lead  us  at  all  out  of  the  way  ?  No,  whatsoever  we  do, 
must  be  done  to  the  glory  of  God.  He  ascribes  all  civilization, 
arts,  and  sciences,  to  revelation;  (p.  100.)  but  men  without 
the  light  of  the  gospel  may  certainly  attain  these  things.  China, 
for  example,  had  made  progress  in  many  things  of  a  natural 
kind,  and  which  could  not,  I  should  think,  have  been  derived 
from  revelation.  He  does  not  believe  the  scriptures  to  be  in- 
spired of  God,  (//,  106.)  He  appears  to  me  but  very  little  be- 
fore the  modern  Socinians  on  this  subject-  Upon  the  whole, 
having  read  it  through,  though  there  be  some  excellent  things 
in  it,  I  could  not  forbear  fearing  that  he  is  only  almost  persuaded 
to  be  a  Christian.  I  knew  the  man  about  twenty  years  ago.  He 
was  a  still,  peaceable  gentleman  ;  but  nothing  more.  He  was 
a  Member  of  Parliament,  and  though  he  writes  against  war,  yet 
he  voted  with  Lord  North,  I  believe,  during  the  Americas 
war. 


MR.    FULLER.  155 

"  6.  Lord's  day- — Still  at  Hull,  where  I  preached  three  times 
to-day,  at  Mr.  Lambert's  place,  at  Salthouse  Lane,  and  at 
George  Street.  I  had  good  times  in  the  morning  and  evening, 
and  received  much  friendship  from  the  people.  Met  with  Mr. 
Longridge,  a  Methodist  gentleman  from  Sundcrland,  who  some- 
times preaches.  He  gave  me  two  guineas  for  our  mission,  and 
1  hope  for  his  company  to  Newcastle  ;  he  seems  a  serious,  in- 
telligent man.  I  visited  many  this  morning  to  collect  for  the 
Bengalee  New  Testament:  preached  and  collected  in  the  eve- 
ning, and  then  set  off  for  York. 

*'  8. — I  reached  Newcastle,  whither  Brother  Sutcliff  had  ar- 
rived before  me  ;  where  we  also  met  with  Mr.  Charles  Whit- 
field,  the  Baptist  minister  of  Hamsterly  in  Durham.  Mr.  Has- 
sel  from  Plymouth  is  now  with  the  Baptist  church  at  Newcastle- 
I  called  there  on  a  Dr.  Greve,  who  has  been  excluded  from  a 
Scotch  Baptist  church,  merely  for  not  agreeing  with  them  in 
some  matter  of  discipline.  Sureiy  such  a  uniformity  leaves  no 
room  for  free  discussion.  A  church  thus  conducted  must  ren- 
der all  its  members  the  slaves  of  terror ;  who  agree  because 
they  dare  not  disagree.  Such  a  system  must  fritter  the  church 
into  endless  parties.  I  perceive  we  are  going  among  nru'ii 
where  indeed  we  had  need  be  wise  as  serpents  and  harmless  as 
doves. 

"  10. — Rode  to  Edinburgh.  A  view  of  the  sea  and  other  ob- 
jects very  agreeable.  Arrived  at  Dr.  Stuart's  this  evening.  I 
find  him  an  interesting  man. 

"  1 1 . — Paid  visits  to  many  friends  to-day ;  Dr.  Erskine,  Mr. 
M'Lean,  Mr.  Braidwood,  and  others.  Dr.  Erskine  in  an  excel- 
lent old  man  ;  several  other  ministers  in  the  Kirk  appear  to  be 
very  worthy  men.  Supped  with  some  of  these,  and  Dr.  Jamie- 
son,  who  is  an  Anti burgher.  The  Baptists  seem  to  be  tinged 
generally  with  the  sentiments  of  Glass  and  Sandeman.  And 
all  parties  in  Scotland,  except  those  who  meet  at  the  Circus,  ap- 
pear to  be  insulated  from  all  others. 

"  We  have  been  in  company  with  persons  favourable  to  the 
church  of  Scotland  twice,  at  Dr.  Erskine's.  There  are  certainly 
some  excellent  men  among  them,  particularly  Mr.  Black,  and 
Mr.  Buchanan,  as  well  as  Dr.  Erskine,  who  is  made  up  of  kind- 


156  MEMOIRS    OF 

ness  and  goodness.  But  these  good  men,  I  observe,  generally 
look  with  a  jealous  eye  upon  the  Circus ;  and  they  like  to  speak 
of  the  things  done  by  the  old  Society  for  promoting  Christian 
knowledge,  which  it  is  probable  some  others  have  too  much  un- 
dervalued, 

"  I  have  been  also  in  company  with  Messrs.  Robert  and  James 
Haldane,  Aikman,  Innes,  Richie,  and  some  other  leading  men 
in  the  Circus  connexion.  Certainly  these  appear  to  be  excel- 
lent men,  free  from  extravagance  and  nonsense,  which  infects 
some  of  the  Calvinistic  Methodists  in  England ;  and  yet  try- 
ing to  imbibe  and  communicate  their  zeal  and  affection.  Rob- 
ert Haldane*  seems  a  very  disinterested,  godly  man,  and  his 
wife  as  disinterested  and  amiable  as  himself.  They  have  agreed 
to  sell  a  large  estate,  to  put  the  money  into  the  funds,  and  to 
live  as  retired  as  possible,  in  order  to  have  the  more  to  lay  out 
for  the  furtherance  of  the  gospel.  His  brother  James  is  a  sim- 
ple-hearted, affectionate,  good  man.  He  was  a  captain  of  an 
East  Indiaman,  and  relinquished  his  post  for  the  gospel's  sake. 
He  is  pastor  of  a  church  on  the  congregational  plan,  which 
meet  at  the  Circus,  and  amount  to  near  three  hundred  mem- 
bers.f  The  forming  of  this  church  seems  to  have  been  the 
united  work  of  Messrs.  Ewing,  Innes,  and  the  Haldanes ;  prin- 
cipally, for  the  sake  of  enjoying  a  greater  degree  of  religious 
liberty,  than  could  be  obtained  in  any  of  their  denomin- 
ations, which  are  each  ruled  by  their  respective  synods.  They 
wished,  as  Mr.  Ewing  told  me,  *  to  be  at  liberty  to  preach 
in  the  villages,'  without  being  accountable  to  any  body  of 
men,  who  were  commonly  averse  to  all  extraordinary  ex- 
ertion, and  contented  to  plod  on  in  the  path  of  their  prede- 
cessors. They  wished  also  to  introduce  English  preachers, 
and  to  have  places  of  worship  to  which  they  could  invite  them. 

*  When  I  was  in  Scotland  in  l&ll,  I  was  grieved  to  find  that  he  waa 
calling  in,  with  much  rigour,  the  money  he  had  advanced  for  building 
places  of  worship,  from  several  worthy  men  who  did  not  follow  him  in  all 
his  subsequent  changes! 

f  See  Dr.  Stuart's  remarks  upon  it,  and  upon,  the  state  of  religion  in 
Scotland,  in  his  Quarterly  Magazine,  No.  \'I. 


MR.  FULLER,  157 

And  having,  as  I  understood  it,  found  the  people  willing  at 
Edinburgh,  they  erected  a  place  at  Glasgow,  which  they  call 
the  Tabernacle.  Here  Mr.  Ewing  preaches,  and  has  the  tui- 
tion of  twenty-five  young  men  for  the  ministry,  all  at  the  ex- 
pense of  Mr.  Robert  Haldane. 

"  Here  two  queries  may  be  proposed.  First,  Was  this  un- 
dertaking necessary  ?  To  this  it  is  replied,  That  there  appears 
a  large  proportion  of  formality  to  have  affected  the  other  de- 
nominations ;  both  in  the  established  Church  of  Scotland,  and 
all  the  classes  of  Presbyterian  Seceders.  The  ministers,  even 
among  the  Seceders,  must  have  bonds  from  their  people  for  a 
certain  salary.  Nor  do  they,  in  general,  go  out  of  their  own 
congregations ;  but  each  moves  on  in  his  way,  without  exert- 
ing himself  for  the  conversion  of  the  irreligious  around  him. 
In  the  Kirk,  too  many  of  the  ministers  are  what  is  called  Mod- 
erates^ alias,  mere  worldly  men,  without  any  heart-felt  religion. 
Yet  in  the  way  they  go  on  in  Scotland,  there  is  little  or  no 
entrance  among  their  people  by  village  preaching.  And  as 
to  the  Seceders,  both  Burghers  and  Antiburghers,  though  they 
retain  the  form  of  orthodoxy ;  yet  they  make  no  efforts  to  spread 
evangelical  truth,  and  seem  many  of  them  to  have  very  little 
life.  Mr.  Ewing  told  me  that  his  grand  motive  for  leaving  the 
Church,  and  engaging  in  his  present  undertaking,  was  a  de- 
sire to  preach  the  gospel  to  people  who  heard  it  not,  and  could 
not  hear  it  upon  the  old  plan.  To  us  there  seems  a  goodly 
number  of  serious  individuals  of  different  denominations,  but 
all  parties  are  too  cold  and  formal.  If  any  thing  could  breathe 
the  breath  of  life  among  them,  or  provoke  them  to  jealousy,  it 
had  need  be  introduced.  It  may  be  asked, 

««  Secondly,  Have  the  leading  men  engaged  in  it,  conducted 
themselves  with  propriety  ? 

«  On  this  subject  we  have  made  inquiries  of  different 
parties. 

"  Some  have  attempted  to  insinuate  that  they  are  influenced 
by  democratic  principles,  and  must  have  some  wrong  political 
design.  One  of  their  leading  men  acknowledges,  that  hereto- 
fore, his  mind  was  taken  up  with  such  subjects,  soon  after  the 
French  revolution,  when  he  made  a  speech  that  gave  consider- 


158  MEMOIRS    OF 

able  offence  to  many  :  but,  he  says,  that  he  is  now  fully  con- 
vinced of  the  folly  of  a  Christian  so  employing  himself,  and 
that  he  is  willing  to  make  the  fullest  acknowledgment  as  to  the 
duty  of  obedience  to*  the  powers  that  be.  And  this  is  the 
present  mind  of  them  all. 

"  The  characters  principally  engaged  in  this  new  denomina- 
tion, as  far  as  we  can  judge,  seem  to  be  some  of  the  best  in 
Scotland  ;  excepting  a  few  individuals  in  other  connexions, 
such  as  Dr.  Erskine,  Mr.  Black,  &c.  The  two  Haldanes,  with 
Messrs.  Innes,  Aikman,  and  Ewing,  appear  to  us  very  intelli- 
gent, serious,  and  affectionate  in  their  work;  active,  liberal, 
and  indeed  almost  every  thing  that  we  could  wish  :  no  drollery 
in  their  preaching,  but  they  seem  very  desirous  to  be  and  do 
every  thing  that  is  right. 

"  At  Glasgow,  where  Mr.  Ewing,  about  ten  weeks  ago,  has 
opened  a  very  large  place  of  worship,  an  amazing  congregation 
is  gathered,  and  was  gathered,  the  very  first  Sabbath  ;  and  that 
chiefly  from  they  know  not  where,  from  the  highways  and  hedges. 
The  other  ministers  in  the  town  it  is  true  have  lost  some : 
but  all  speak  highly  of  Ewing.  Dr.  Balfour,  to  his  honour  be 
it  spoken,  having  lost  one  of  his  friends,  and  being  asked  wheth- 
er it  did  not  affect  him,  replied,  «  That  may  be  the  case  ;  but 
though  it  be  a  loss  to  me,  yet  it  will  be  none  to  him  :  meaning 
his  former  friend,  who  now  attends  Mr.  Ewing. 

«  2 1 . — Last  week  we  set  off  from  Edinburgh  to  Glasgow  : 
dined  with  David  Dale,  a  venerable  man,  the  first  merchant  in 
Glasgow,  and  yet  always  calm  and  composed.  He  is  pastor  of 
an  Independent  church  in  this  city.  After  dinner  we  set  off  in 
his  carriage,  with  Mr.  Ewing,  for  Paisley.  Preached  to  a 
crowded  auditory,  and  collected  about  twenty  pounds  for  the 
Translation.  Returning  to  Glasgow  that  evening,  we  heard  of 
the  death  of  our  beloved  Pearce  I  O  Jonathan,  very  pleasant 
hast  thou  been  to  me.  I  am  distressed  for  thee  my  brother  Jon- 
athan !  O  Jonathan,  thou  wast  slain  on  thy  high  places  !  On 
Thursday  went  to  Greenock  :  met  with  kind  treatment  there.  I 
preached  in  a  Burgher  or  else  a  Relief  meeting,  and  Brother 
Sutcliff  stopped  and  preached  there  next  day.  They  collected 


MR.    FULLER.  159 

•us  upwards  of  twenty  pounds.  I  returned  on  Friday  to  Glas- 
gow, and  preached  at  the  Tabernacle.  On  Lord's  day,  I  preach- 
ed in  the  morning  at  the  Tabernacle,  to  about  four  thousand 
people.  In  the  afternoon  Brother  Sutcliff  preached  to  the  same 
number  or  rather  more  ;  and  I  went  with  my  friend  Dr.  Stuart, 
who  came  over  to  hear  Mr.  D.  Dale,  at  the  Independent  place, 
where  they  collected  for  us  upwards  of  £200.  There  is  a  mild 
sweetness  about  that  venerable  man,  but  I  could  wish  that  the 
congregation  discovered  more  of  the  lively  and  affectionate 
spirit  of  Christianity.  In  the  evening  I  preached  again  at  the 
Tabernacle.  It  was  said  that  many  hundreds  went  away  for 
want  of  room.  It  was  the  largest  audience  I  ever  saw.  On 
Monday  evening,  I  preached  at  the  Relief  meeting,  in  Camp- 
bell Street,  with  much  affection.  We  met  with  great  kindness 
from  all  parties  ;  and  they  seem  to  have  a  good  deal  of  broth- 
erly kindness  one  towards  another.  I  walked  an  hour  or  two 
with  Dr.  Stuart,  and  enjoyed  much  pleasure  in  his  conversation. 
He  is  a  very  interesting  good  man.  While  at  Glasgow  we  had 
an  interview  with  Dr.  Watt,  who  is  one  of  the  Baptists,  a  very 
mild,  intelligent  man.  Our  conversation  turned  a  good  deal 
on  things  wherein  we  differed.  Brother  S.  asked  him  if  the 
religion  of  the  Independents  and  Baptists,  both  of  which  are 
tinged  with  Mr.  Sandeman's  peculiarities,  allowed  a  proper  and 
scriptural  place  for  the  exercise  of  the  affections  ?  To  us  it 
seemed  that  where  these  principles  prevail,  they  operate  to 
quench  the  religion  of  the  heart.  Many  of  them  contend  that 
there  is  nothing  in  the  nature  of  the  faith  of  Christians,  differ- 
ent from  the  faith  of  devils  ;  and  that  all  the  different  effects 
arise  from  our  different  circumstances  :  that  faith  has  nothing 
of  the  will  or  the  affections  in  it,  but  is  mere  light  in  the  under- 
standing :  or,  as  Dr.  Watt  expressed  it,  *  It  is  truth  revealed 
to  the  mind ;  and  though  believing  is  expressed  by  an  active 
verb,  yet  we  are  no  more  voluntary  in  it,  than  we  are  in  seeing 
or  hearing,  which  are  also  expressed  by  active  verbs.'  But  if 
this  were  true,  how  could  faith  be  a  duty  ?  God  requires  nothing 
of  us  but  that  wherein  the  will  or  the  heart  are  concerned. 
And  how  could  unbelief  be  a  sin  ?  Unbelief  is  certainly  the  op- 
posite of  faith :  if  therefore  the  one  be  mere  light  in  the  mind, 


160  MEMOIRS    OF 

and  include  nothing  voluntary,  the  other  must  be  mere  darkness 
of  the  mind,  and  be  equally  involuntary.  I  have  stated  some 
of  these  objections  to  my  friend  Dr.  Stuart,  in  the  Quarterly 
Magazine,  No.  VIII.  p.  200.  and  he  has  attempted  to  answer 
them  in  the  same  number.  There  is  no  end  of  controversy.  I 
have  been  labouring  for  many  years  to  bend  religious  people  to 
what  appears  to  me  to  be  the  truth ;  but  that  which  is  crooked 
it  seems  cannot  be  made  straight.  This  principle,  commonly- 
held  by  the  Baptists  in  these  parts,  appears  to  me  an  improtant 
error,  and  I  fear  has  an  ill  effect  upon  their  religion,  which 
leans  more  to  the  speculative,  than  to  the  affectionate.  And  as 
I  have  very  few  remarks  more  to  add  on  other  things,  I  will 
here  subjoin  a  reply  to  the  above  paper. 

«  My  dear  Friend^ 

"  I  thank  you  for  having  inserted  my  remarks  on  faith,  in  No. 
VIII.  of  the  Quarterly  Magazine.  Your  candid  reply  affords 
ine  an  opportunity  of  confirming  those  remarks. 

"You  admit  that  the  design  of  the  Apostle  James,  in  intro- 
ducing the  faith  of  devils,  is,  to  *  make  nothing  of  the  faith  of 
nominal  Christians ;'  but  you  suppose  he  does  this,  not  by  a 
comparison  of  it  with  the  faith  of  devils,  but,  c  by  representing 
that  faith,  whether  it  be  on  earth  or  in  hell,  if  it  really  existed, 
and  was  not  merely  pretended  or  professed,  was  always  produc- 
tive of  corresponding  works.'  That  is,  you  suppose  that  the 
Apostle  does  not  compare  but  contrast  the  faith  of  the  nominal 
Christian,  with  that  of  devils.  His  was  dead,  being  alone  ; 
but  the  other  was  living,  and  productive  of  corresponding 
works,  even  all  that  their  situation  would  admit  of,  which  is 
trembling.  I  hope  I  have  herein  stated  your  full  meaning- 
To  this  I  offer  the  following  objections  : — 

«  1.  The  use  of  the  term  also,  ver.  19.  is  manifestly  expres- 
sive of  likeness,  and  not  of  contrast.  If  xa<  be  rendered  and 
or  even,  it  will  amount  to  the  same  thing.  <  Thou  believest 
that  there  is  one  God;'  a  great  matter  truly  I*  and  the  devils 

*  This  1  suppose  to  be  the  true  meaning  of  the  terms— thou  doest  well. 
which  is  ironical. 


MR.    FULLER.  161 

believe  and  tremble :  or  even  the  devils  believe  and  tremble, 
None  of  these  forms  convey  the  idea  of  contrast,  but  of  likeness. 
Each  of  them  is  equal  to  saying,  {  This  is  no  more  than  is  true 
of  devils  ;  nor  indeed  quite  so  much  :  yet  their  faith  amounts 
to  nothing  ;  what  therefore  can  you  think  of  yours  ?' 

"  2.  If  the  introduction  of  the  faith  of  devils  were  designed  as 
a  contrast,  the  reasoning  would  admit  of  some  other  contrast  as 
well  as  this.  Let  us  make  the  experiment.  <  Thou  believest 
that  there  is  one  God,  thou  doest  well,  the  sincere  Christian 
also  believes  and  obeys.'  To  make  sense  of  this,  it  is  neces- 
sary that  instead  of  the  conjunctive  particle  *<**>  and,  or  even, 
or  also,  it  should  be  the  disjunctive  #AA#,  but ;  at  least,  to  have 
comported  with  your  idea,  it  should  have  been  the  devils  also 
believe,  BUT  tremble.  On  the  other  hand,  make  the  experi- 
ment of  an  instance  of  likeness,  and  the  language  is  plain  and 
easy.  « Thou  believest  there  is  one  God  j  a  great  matter  truly  ! 
Felix  also  believed  and  trembled.' 

"  The  ground  on  which  your  position  rests,  is  the  effect  which 
is  ascribed  to  the  faith  of  devils — trembling,  and  which  is  not 
ascribed  to  that  of  nominal  Christians.  This  effect  you  reckon 
among  those  corresponding  works,  which  as  you  say  always 
attend  real  faith.  But  this  difference  may  not  prove  that  the 
faith  of  devils  was  real,  and  that  of  nominal  Christians  a  mere 
<  pretence,'  as  you  seem  to  understand  it :  it  may  only  express 
a  difference  in  the  degree  in  which  each  party  was  impressed 
with  the  force  of  truth.  The  one  was  convinced  that  there  was 
a  God  ;  but  it  was  a  mere  speculation  of  the  intellectual  faculty, 
unaccompanied  with  love  ;  and  being  in  circumstances  wherein 
he  saw  no  remarkable  displays  of  his  divine  majesty,  it  made 
little  or  no  impression  upon  his  mind.  The  others  also  were 
convinced  that  there  was  a  God,  and  neither  were  their  con- 
victions accompanied  with  love;  yet  being  placed  in  circum- 
stances wherein  the  awful  majesty  of  heaven  was  continually 
before  their  eyes,  they  knew  already  in  part  by  sad  experience 
the  truth  of  his  threatenings,  and  trembled  at  the  approach  of 
greater  torments.  There  was  no  more  goodness  in  this  trem- 
bling than  in  that  of  a  malefactor  under  the  gallows.  I  am 

surprised  therefore  that  you  should  reckon  it  among  those  <  cor- 
21 


162  MEMOIRS    OF 

responding  works  which  always  attend  faith,  if  it  really  exists.' 
What  is  it  more  than  Felix  felt  under  his  convictions,  and  ap- 
prehensions of  a  judgment  to  come  ;  who  notwithstanding  was 
far  from  being  a  believer,  or  possessing  any  of  those  corres- 
ponding works  which  the  Scriptures  represent  as  the  fruits 
of  faith. 

«  Nothing  seems,  (to  you,)  more  certain  than  that  when  any 
person  on  earth  believes  Jesus,  who  is  now  invisible,  with 
equal  assurance  as  the  devils,  he  rejoices  in  hope,  is  animated 
by  love  to  him,  and  feels  disposed  to  obey  his  will,  and  to  resist 
his  own  evil  inclinations.'  If  I  were  to  say,  few  things  appear 
to  me  more  certain  than  the  contrary,  I  should  say  the  truth  : 
but  I  wish  to  make  what  appears  certain  to  me,  evident,  if  it  be 
possible,  to  my  friend,  and  to  his  readers.  If  your  position  be 
true,  the  difference  between  believers  and  devils  arises  entirely 
from  their  different  circumstances.  But  if  so,  let  me  entreat 
you  to  consider  whether  consequences  will  not  follow  which 
you  would  shudder  to  avow. 

«  1.  Will  it  not  follow  that  the  doctrine  taught  by  our  Lord,  in 
the  parable  of  the  rich  man  and  Lazarus,  is  untrue  ?  Dives  sup- 
posed that  the  awful  realities  which  he  witnessed  and  felt,  if 
they  could  not  be  transferred  to  his  brethren  upon  earth,  must 
certainly  induce  repentance.  But  you  know  the  reply  of  Abra- 
ham, which  teaches  that  a  change  of  circumstances  would  not 
effect  that  which  is  not  effected  by  the  Scriptures. 

"  2.  Will  it  not  follow  that  there  is  no  absolute  necessity  of 
divine  agency  to  renew  the  heart  of  a  sinner  ?  If  a  mere  differ- 
ence in  circumstances  were  sufficient  to  cause  that  faith  which 
produces  trembling  to  produce  sincere  love  and  obedience,  what 
necessity  is  there  for  divine  influence  ?  All  that  would  be  nec- 
essary, would  be  for  sinners  to  be  placed  in  such  situations, 
(which  they  will  be  in  the  world  to  come,  and  might  be  in  this 
world,)  as  that  their  assurance  of  the  realities  of  religion  should 
be  equal  to  that  of  the  fallen  angels.  And  thus  all  those  scrip- 
tures which  teach  the  necessity  of  being  born  of  the  Spirit,  are 
set  aside  ;  all  that  is  necessary  being  an  exercise  of  divine 
firo-vidence^  which  shall  place  them  in  such  circumstances,  as 
that  truth  shall  become  influential. 


MR.    FULLER.  163 

"  3.  Will  not  such  a  representation  of  things  reflect  upon  the 
divine  character,  and  tend  to  excuse  the  sinner  ?  The  enmity 
of  sinners,  according  to  this  position,  seems  to  arise  merely  from 
their  situation^  as  by  a  kind  of  natural  necessity.  Here  they  had 
an  object  of  hope  held  up  to  them  ;  but  the  means  of  inducing 
belief  were  not  sufliciently  impressive.  There  the  means  will 
be  sufficiently  impressive ;  but  they  have  no  object  of  hope : 
so  that  all  they  can  do,  is  to  tremble,  and  hate  the  Being  who 
hath  shut  them  up  in  despair.  Surely  such  a  view  of  things  is 
not  agreeable  to  the  Scripture  account  of  the  divine  character, 
and  of  the  unreasonable  aversion  of  sinners. 

"  4.  Let  me  entreat  you  particularly  to  consider  whether 
that  love  and  obedience  which  arises  merely  from  a  change  of 
circumstances,  be  any  part  of  true  religion.  There  are,  I 
grant,  sensations  in  the  human  mind,  which  arise  merely  from 
this  cause,  and  which  bear  a  resemblance  to  that  love  and  obe- 
dience which  are  connected  with  eternal  life  ;  but  they  are  not 
the  same.  Many  a  sinner  in  the  hour  of  approaching  death  is 
greatly  affected  ;  and  while  he  thinks  he  must  die,  and  be  lost 
for  ever,  he  believes  enough  to  make  him  tremble.  At  a  time 
however,  when  he  has  nearly  given  up  all  for  lost,  a  favourable 
turn  is  given  to  his  affliction.  He  is  affected  now  in  another 
way.  He  weeps,  and  thanks  God  for  his  hopes  of  recovery. 
He  vows  also  with  great  earnestness  that  if  the  Lord  will  perfect 
that  which  concerns  him,  he  will  lead  a  new  life,  Sec.  But  I 
need  not  tell  you  that  all  this  may  consist  with  a  heart  at  enmity 
with  the  true  character  of  God  ;  and  that  it  frequently  proves  so, 
by  his  returning,  as  soon  as  the  impression  wears  off,  like  the 
sow  that  was  washed,  to  her  wallowing  in  the  mire.  The  whole 
of  this  process  is  no  more  than  an  operation  of  self-lo-ve  ;  which 
is  very  different  from  the  love  of  God :  yet  this  is  all  which 
a  mere  change  of  circumstances  can  possibly  effect. 

"  The  grand  incapacity  of  men  to  believe  the  gospel  as  it  is 
in  Jesus,  lies,  as  you  acknowledge,  in  their  '  loving  darkness 
rather  than  light,  which  blinds  their  minds,  and  perverts  their 
judgments.'  But  the  same  incapacity  in  this  respect  attends 
devils  as  men,  inasmuch  as  they  love  darkness  rather  than  light, 


164  MEMOIRS    OF 

and  perhaps  in  a  greater  degree  than  the  other.  And  it  is 
doubtless  equally  true  of  the  one  as  of  the  other,  that  they  «  see 
no  form  nor  comeliness  in  Christ,  nor  beauty  that  they  should 
desire  him.'  As  men  are  alike  capable  with  angels  of  believing 
every  thing  pertaining  to  the  gospel,  which  may  be  bclie-ved 
with  a  wicked  state  of  mind;  so  angels  are  equally  incapable 
with  men  of  believing  any  thing  beyond  it. 

"  Moreover,  if  the  love  of  darkness  be  the  grand  cause  of  un- 
belief, that  effect  will  continue  to  be  produced  till  the  cause  is 
removed.  To  suppose,  as  you  do,  that  the  gospel  may  be  be- 
lieved without  love,  is  the  same  thing  as  supposing  it  may  be  be- 
lieved while  under  the  dominion  of  aversion ;  and  that  is  saying 
either  that  the  law  of  darkness  is,  after  all,  no  bar  to  believing, 
or  that  God  causes  us  to  believe  in  some  other  way  than  by 
removing  it. 

"  I  observed,  c  All  duty  is  comprised  in  love.'  By  this  I 
meant  that  God  requires  the  heart,  the  whole  heart,  and  nothing 
but  the  heart.  This  appears  to  me  to  be  taught  in  the  passages 
to  which  I  referred.  Lo-ve  is  the  fulfilling  of  the  law.  Ml  the 
law  is  fulfilled  in  one  word  .  .  .  love.  From  hence  I  infer,  that 
as  faith  is  allowed  to  be  a  part  of  duty,  it  must  in  its  very  na- 
ture contain  a  portion  of  holy  love  :  and  I  may  add,  it  is  no  far- 
ther a  duty  than  as  it  is  an  exercise  of  it.  So  far  as  the  belief 
of  the  gospel  is  influenced  by  the  heart  or  will,  so  far  it  is  duty, 
and  no  farther.  The  same  may  be  said  of  its  opposite  :  so  far 
as  a  disbelief  of  the  gospel  is  influenced  by  the  heart  or  will,  so 
far  it  is  sinful,  and  no  farther. 

"  You  think  there  are  duties  which  are  not  comprised  in  love, 
and  instance  in  the/ear  of  God.  If  by  fear  you  meant  that  kind 
of  dread  which  characterizes  a  slave,  I  should  allow  that  love 
does  not  comprise  it,  but  stands  opposed  to  it.  1  John  iv.  18. 
but  then  this  is  no  part  of  duty.  If  by  fear,  on  the  other  hand, 
you  mean  a  dread  of  offending  and  dishonouring  God,  which 
you  certainly  do,  I  contend  that  this  is  only  a  modification  of 
love.  Love  to  God  considered  as  holy,  operates  in  a  way  of 
complacency  ;  considered  as  beneficent,  in  'a  way  of  gratitude ; 
considered  as  a  legislator,  in  a  way  of  obedience  ;  and  consid- 
ered as  possessed  of  infinite  glory  and  majesty,  in  a  way  of  fear. 


MR.  FULLER.  165 

The  love  contained  in  the  true  fear  of  God,  is  the  very  thing 
which  distinguishes  it  from  slavish  dread,  and  denominates  it 
both  a  duty,  and  a  grace  of  the  Spirit. 

«  You  acknowledge  that  unbelief  is  «  more  than  a  mistake  of 
the  judgment,*  that  it  is  'a  sin  ;'  and  you  jiro-ue  it  from  its  in- 
cluding an  aversion  of  the  heart.  You  also  acknowledge  faith 
to  be  a  duty  ;  and  I  attempt  iofiro-ve  it  by  your  medium,  from 
its  including  the  acquiesence  of  the  heart.  But  here  your 
system  is  affected,  and  here  you  leave  me.  I  have  enjoyed  so 
much  in  your  company,  that  I  am  sorry  for  the  loss  of  it :  how- 
beit  I  am  not  alone. 

"  You  add,  *  The  exercises  of  the  understanding  are  fre- 
quently enjoined  in  Scripture.*  O  ye  simple  ones  understand 
'wisdom.  Receive  my  instruction  and  not  silver,  and  knowledge 
rather  than  choice  gold,  Sec.  Knowledge  is  of  two  kinds :  that 
which  is  a  simple  exercise  of  the  intellectual  faculty  ;  and  that 
which  is  influenced  by  the  state  of  the  heart  or  will.  The  Jirst 
is  a  mere  natural  exercise,  equally  so  as  the  sight  of  the  eye  ;  it 
is  essential  to  an  accountable  being,  but  is  in  itself  neither  good 
nor  evil.  It  cannot  therefore  be  the  object  of  scripture  injunc- 
tion, neither  has  it  any  promise  made  to  it  in  all  the  book  of 
God.  In  good  men  it  may  increase  love,  but  in  wicked  men  it 
commonly  heightens  hatred.  «  Ye  have  seen  and  hated  me  and 
my  Father.'  When  mentioned  in  connexion  with  holy  exer- 
cises, it  is  distinguished  from  them.  '  Do  you  know  all  these 
things  ?  happy  are  ye  if  ye  do  them.'  The  last  is  what  the 
Scriptures  call  spiritual  or  holy  knowledge,  which  is  meant  in 
all  those  divine  injunctions  to  which  you  refer,  and  has  the 
promise  of  eternal  life.  So  far  from  this  remark  therefore,  in- 
validating my  position,  that  all  duty  is  comprised  in  love,  it 
confirms  it :  for  as  ignorance  is  just  so  far  a  sin,  so  knowledge 
is  just  so  far  a  duty,  as  it  is  influenced  by  the  heart,  and  no  far- 
ther. That  spiritual  discernment  of  Christ's  glory  of  which  you 
speak  has  in  it  a  mixture  of  holy  love.  Hence  the  thing  that 
wisdom  calls  for  is  an  understanding  HEART.  Prov.  viii.  5. 

"  If  it  were  allowed  that  knowledge  is  a  mere  intellectual  ex- 
ercise, and  which  taken  in  its  literal  sense  it  certainly  is, 
still  it  would  not  follow  that  the  same  is  true  of  faith ;  for  faith 


166  MEMOIRS    OF 

and  knowledge  are  different,  though,  as  I  think,  too  much  con- 
founded by  Mr.  Sandeman  and  his  admirers.  To  know  the 
meaning  of  the  testimony  is  necessary  to  faith,  but  is  not  faith 
itself;  for  it  is  equally  necessary  to  unbelief,  seeing  no  man  can 
be  said  to  disbelieve  any  more  than  believe  that  of  which  he  has 
no  idea.  Knowledge  is  perception  of  what  is  affirmed :  faith  is 
practically  treating  God  as  the  God  of  truth,  and  unbelief  is 
treating  him  as  a  liar,  which  must  therefore  in  both  cases  include 
the  acting  out  of  the  heart. 

"But  not  only  does  faith  include  an  exercise  of  the  heart, 
but  knowledge  itself  if  it  be  spiritual  does  the  same.  If  no  one 
can  call  Jesus  Lord,  but  by  the  Holy  Spirit,  it  is  because  there 
requires  a  holy  influence  from  above,  or  an  unction  from  the 
HOLY  ONE,  by  which  ive  know  all  things,  to  this  end.  This  is 
that  spirituality  by  which  alone  spiritual  things  are  discerned. 

"  It  affords  me  pleasure  that  the  light  for  which  you  plead  is 
spiritual  or  holy ;  and  that  though  you  are  unwilling  to  allow 
it  to  include  any  exercise  of  the  heart,  yet  you  do  not  mean  to 
encourage  mere  speculators  in  religion  to  consider  themselves 
as  the  children  of  God.  Your  hypothesis  however  would  lead 
to  it. 

"  If  you  are  at  a  loss  to  conceive  how  knowledge  of  any  kind 
should  include  an  exercise  of  the  heart,  only  inquire  if  there  be 
no  such  thing  as  -voluntary  or  wilful  ignorance  ;  and  whether 
the  true  distinction  between  natural  and  moral  ignorance  does 
not  consist  in  this,  that  the  one  is  owing  to  the  want  of  powers  or 
advantages,  and  the  ether  to  an  aversion  to  the  truth. 

"  You  observe,  from  Dr.  Erskine,  that  '  the  Holy  Spirit  uses 
words  in  their  common  acceptation — that  faith  does  not  signify 
choice,  affection,  temper,  behaviour,  in  common  language  ;  but 
merely  persuasion  or  assent,  and  commonly  persuasion  founded 
on  testimony.'  I  do  not  contend  that  faith  signifies  affection, 
temper,  or  behaviour  ;  but  allow  it  to  mean  persuasion,  or  be- 
lief. That  for  which  I  contend,  is,  that  it  is  such  a  persuasion  as 
is  influenced  by  a  sense  of  the  glory  of  the  things  believed, 
and  which  sense  includes  an  affection  of  the  heart;  a  per- 
suasion which  is  effected  by  the  removal  of  that  which  you 
say  is  their  grand  incapacity — 'the  love  of  darkness  rather 


MR.  FULLER.  16? 

than  light ;'  a  persuasion  which  not  only  promotes  repentance,  but 
presupposes  it.  Your  system  knows  no  repentance  but  what  is 
the  effect  of  believing  the  gospel ;  but  the  Scripture  system 
calls  men  to  refient  and  believe  the  gospel.  Mark  i.  15.  to  re- 
pent THAT  THEY  MAY  believe.  Matt.  xxi.  32. 

"  If  this  were  such  a  use  of  the  term  believe  as  is  not  com- 
mon in  natural  things,  it  were  no  solid  objection  to  it.  The 
common  use  of  the  term  justify,  is  to  find  a  person  innocent, 
and  on  that  ground  to  acquit  him  ;  and  so  it  stands  opposed 
to  finding  him  guilty,  and  either  condemning  him  or  acquitting 
him  :  but  justification  in  the  Scriptures  includes  forgiveness, 
as  I  believe  you  will  allow. 

"  I  question,  however,  whether  the  common  use  of  the  terra 
believe,  be  not,  in  many  cases,  expressive  of  such  a  persuasion 
as  is  influenced  by  the  state  of  the  heart,  and  so  includes  it. 
If  Mordecai  had  become  a  mediator  for  Haman,  and  Ahasu- 
erus  had  sent  a  message  to  him,  the  implication  of  which,  was* 
that  he  had  been  the  vilest  of  traitors,  and  deserved  to  die  ;  but 
that  out  of  pure,  undeserved  favour,  he  had,  at  the  instance  of 
Mordecai,  consented  to  pardon  all  his  crimes,  provided  that  in 
the  presence  of  the  whole  city  of  Shushan  he  would  confess  his 
guilt,  ask  pardon  in  Mordecai's  name,  and  consent  to  serve  the 
king  all  his  future  life,  under  him  ;  and  all  this  not  merely  in 
pretence,  but  cordially. — Query,  Could  Haman  have  believed 
this  message,  in  all  its  implications  and  bearings  to  be  good 
news,  while  he  retained  his  enmity  ?  And  if  he  had  been  brought 
to  believe  it  to  be  good  that  he  should  be  thus  humbled*  and 
thus  devote  his  future  life,  would  that  belief  have  included  no 
exercise  of  the  heart  ? 

"  You  speak  of  our  being  «  regenerated  by  faith.9  I  know  of 
no  Scripture  ground  for  such  an  idea.  He  that  believeth  that 
Jesus  is  the  Christ  is  born  of  God  ;  and  the  same  language  is 
used  of  him  that  loveth.  1  John  v.  1.  iv.  5.  but  you  would  not 
say  that  we  are  regenerated  by  love.  I  allow,  however,  that 
regeneration  is  ascribed  to  the  word  of  God  as  a  mean  ;  but  I 
apprehend  that  the  Scriptures  seldom  use  words  in  a  metaphy- 
sical, but  commonly  in  a  popular  sense  ;  and  that  the  phrase 
fora  again)  fcc.  in  1  Pet.  i.  23.  and  James  i,  18.  is  expressive 


168  MEMOIRS    OF 

of  that  whole  change  by  which  we  become  true  Christians,  in- 
cluding active  conversion,  or  turning  to  God  through  Jesus 
Christ.  If  I  allow  the  incorruptible  seed  an  equal  influence  in 
regeneration,  as  the  first  principle  of  animal  existence  has  in 
generation,  I  think  I  allow  it  all  that  the  Scriptures  ascribe  to  it. 
But  though  man  is  truly  said  to  be  begotten  by  man ;  yet  there 
is  an  inspiration  of  the  Almighty,  which  giveth  us  life,  (Job 
xxxtii.  4.)  the  breathing  of  him  who  quickeneth  all  things  ;  [and 
who  formeth  the  spirit  of  man  within  him,  Zech.  xii.  I/]  and 
which  is  not  by  means  of  man.  I  suppose  there  is  something 
analogous  to  this  in  regeneration,  and  which  is  alike  rational 
and  scriptural,  though  to  us  alike  incomprehensible. 

"  As  to  what  you  have  quoted  from  Dr.  Erskine,  on  <  faith 
having  no  moral  efficacy  towards  procuring  our  pardon  and 
acceptance,  I  readily  admit  it ;  but  it  does  not  follow  that  for 
this  purpose  it  must  contain  nothing  holy  in  its  nature ;  for  let 
it  contain  what  holiness  it  may  it  can  have  no  such  influence. 
The  reason  why  we  are  justified  by  faith  rather  than  by  hope 
or  love,  is  not  because  the  one  is  void  of  all  holiness,  and  the 
other  is  not  so ;  but  because  the  former  bears  this  peculiar 
relation  to  Christ,  that  by  it  we  are  united  to  him :  rejecting 
all  other  dependencies,  it  embraces  him  as  revealed  in  the 
gospel  ;  thus  bringing  the  sinner  to  become  one  with  him, 
which  oneness,  or  union,  is  represented  as  necessary  to  justi- 
fication. Rom.  viii.  1.  1  Cor.  i.  $0.  Phil.  iii.  9.  If  we  were 
justified  by  love,  it  must  be  on  account  of  its  moral  excellency  ; 
but  we  may  be  justified  by  faith,  though  it  be  a  moral  excel- 
lency, on  another  account  ;  in  some  such  way  as  a  person  may- 
be entitled  to  an  estate  by  marriage.  The  act  of  marriage  may 
include  an  acquiescence  of  the  heart,  and  be  a  virtuous  deed, 
as  opposed  to  a  lawless  attachment  to  former  lovers  :  yet  it 
would  not  be  by  marriage  as  a  virtuous  deed,  but  as  uniting  the 
'wife  to  her  husband,  that  she  would  be  interested  in  his  estates. 

"•I  find  Mr.  M'Lean,  in  a  new  edition  of  his  piece  on  the 
Commission  of  Christ,  has  introduced  a  part  of  the  correspond- 
ence between  him  and  me  on  this  subject.  He  has  given  some 
of  my  words,  though  but  few,  and  those  not  in  their  proper  con- 
nexion. He  alleged,  when  in  company  with  me,  that  '  by  sup- 


MR.    FULLER.  169 

posing  faith  to  include  any  affection  of  the  heart,  I  confounded 
what  the  Scriptures  distinguish  ;  namely,  faith,  hope,  and  char- 
ity/ I  answered,  faith,  hope,  and  charity,  are  doubtless  distin- 
guished, but  they  are  not  so  distinct  as  your  argument  requires 
them  to  be.  If  it  were,  each  must  contain  nothing  of  the  other. 
Faith  must  have  no  hojie  in  it,  any  more  than  love  ;  hope  also 
must  have  no  faith  nor  love  in  it ;  and  love  must  include  neither 
faith  nor  hope.  But  to  mention  only  Ao/?e,  does  it  not  include 
desire,  and  does  not  desire  include  love  ?  He  owned  it  did,  and 
that  it  was  «  a  modification  of  love.'  «  Then,  (I  replied,)  your 
argument  is  lost.'  He  made  no  other  answer  to  this,  than  say- 
ing with  an  air  of  pleasantry,  *  You  are  a  younger  man  than  I/ 
meaning,  I  suppose,  that  I  had  more  of  an  edge  for  dispute. 
Such  was  the  connexion  of  what  he  has  introduced  in  his  note, 
p.  76,  of  which  nothing  can  be  made  as  it  there  stands. 

«  I  observe  also,  he  has  given  the  substance  of  Ms  own  letter 
to  me,  without  noticing  the  answer  to  it,  which  was  in  his  pos- 
session. I  consider  the  whole  note  as  a  mangled  and  very  par- 
tial representation  of  my  sentiments  :  and  the  pertinacity  with 
which  he  maintains  his  objection  that  I  confound  faith  and 
charity,  after  it  has  been  answered  as  above,  affords  but  little 
encouragement  to  hope  for  any  thing  from  him  deserving  the 
name  of  candid  or  brotherly  discussion. 

"  P.  S.  If  faith  be  wholly  involuntary,  and  the  mind  be 
equally  passive  in  it,  as  the  eye  is  in  receiving  light,  (such  was 
the  representation  of  your  friend,  Dr.  Watt,)  how  is  it  that  we 
read  as  follows  ?  '  If  thou  ivouldest  believe,'  John  xi.  40.  c  If 
thou  canst  believe,  all  things  are  possible  to  him  that  believ- 
eth.'  Mark  ix.  23.  Did  Christ  mean  to  say,  if  thou  canst  be  the 
subject  of  an  impression  in  which  thou  art  passive  and  invol- 
untary ?  or,  if  thou  canst  find  in  thy  heart  to  credit  my  all-suffi- 
ciency ?  If  the  former,  it  had  been  tantalizing.  If  the  latter,  it 
tended  to  draw  forth  faith.  How  is  it  too  that  in  answer  to  the 
question,  What  shall  we  do  that  we  may  work  the  works  of 
God  ?  our  Lord  should  say,  This  is  the  work  of  God,  that  ye 
believe  in  him  whom  he  hath  sent  ? 

"  If  faith  must  be  compared  to  any  thing  pertaining  to  the 

eye,  it  is  not  to  that  impression  which  light  makes  upon  it,  but 
22 


170  MEMOIRS    OF 

to  the  voluntary  exercise  of  looking;  beholding  the  Lamb  oi 
God,  which  taketh  away  the  sin  of  the  world,  and  which  stands 
opposed  to  shutting  the  eyes  against  the  truth,  which  is  de- 
scriptive of  unbelief." 

How  far  this  letter  was  satisfactory  to  the  friend  to  whom 
it  was  addressed,  and  whom  I  also  highly  esteem,  I  am  not  sure. 
I  unexpectedly  met  with  it  in  Brother  Fuller's  journal  of  his 
first  visit  to  Scotland,  and  as  it  exactly  accords  with  my  own  de- 
cided views  on  the  subject,  I  have  inserted  it  in  this  place.  I 
do  not  wish  unnecessarily  to  offend  any  person  or  any  party  of 
Christians,  but  truth  ought  to  be  dearer  to  me  than  any  thing 
that  can  be  placed  in  competition  with  it. 

Mr.  Fuller  has  added  some  other  remarks,  on  the  peculiari- 
ties of  our  northern  brethren,  which  I  hope  I  may  transcribe 
without  displeasing  any  who  have  been  cordial  friends  to  our 
Missions. 

"  I  find  there  are  various  things,  besides  the  nature  of  faith, 
wherein  the  Scotch  and  English  Baptists  differ  ;  and  wherein  I, 
as  one  of  the  English  Baptists,  feel  myself  obliged  to  differ 
from  them.  The  principal  of  them  are  as  follow  : — 

"  1 .  They  are  mostly  strenuous  in  contending  that  Christ  is 
called  the  Son  of  God  merely  as  assuming  human  nature ;  or 
that  he  was  not  the  Son  of  God  antecedent  to  his  incarnation. 
To  me  this  appears  contrary  to  many  passages  of  Scripture, 
particularly  all  those  which  speak  of  God's  sending-  Ms  Son 
into  the  world,  which  manifestly  imply  that  he  was  his  Son  pri- 
or to  his  being  sent.  Also  those  which  speak  of  the  Son  of  God 
being  manifested,  born  of  a  woman.  Sec.  which  imply  that  he 
•was  the  Son  antecedent  to  such  manifestation,  birth,  &c. 

"  2.  They  contend  that  a  plurality  of  bishops  is  essential  to 
a  regular  Christian  church.  To  me  it  appears  that  the  num- 
ber of  bishops,  as  of  deacons,  is  to  be  regulated  by  the  large- 
ness of  the  church  ;  and  that  we  might  as  well  insist  on  having 
seven  deacons  as  a  plurality  of  bishops.  They  consider  the 
term  elder  as  synonymous  with  bishops  ;  but  I  think  there  were 
elders  in  the  primitive  churches  who  did  not  labour  in  word 


MR.    FULLER.  171 

and  doctrine.  1  Tim.  v.  17.  And  it  should  seem  that  the  seven 
churches  in  Asia,  had  each  its  angel  or  bishop  in  the  singular. 
"  3.  They  insist  on  the  Lord's  supper  being  administered 
every  first  day  of  the  week^  grounding  it  on  Acts  xx.  7« 
There  can  be  nothing  wrong  in  commemorating  the  Lord's 
death  weekly  ;  but  I  see  no  authority  to  make  it  binding.  We 
ought  not  to  make  laws  where  Christ  has  made  none.  There 
is  certainly  no  precept  in  this  matter ;  and  as  to  example,  if 
that  above  cited  was  designed  to  teach  us,  that  the  first  day  of 
the  week  was  the  time  which  we  ought  to  follow  invariably,  it 
must  then  be  the  only  time,  whereas  it  appears  that  this  was 
not  the  only  time.  The  ordinance  was  first  instituted  and  cele- 
brated on  a  week  day,  by  our  Lord  and  his  Apostles.  And  at 
the  time  of  Pentecost,  it  has  the  appearance  of  being  attended 
to  daily.  Acts  ii.  46.  Probably  at  the  time  when  Paul  visited 
Troas,  it  was  a  weekly  practice  ;  but  there  is  no  reason  to 
make  laws  where  Christ  has  not  made  them.  • 

"  4.  They  also  practise  the  washing  of  feet ,  the  holy  kiss,  &c. 
I  think  the  form  'of  these  things  may  be  preserved,  as  it  is  by 
the  Pope  when  he  is  elected,  while  the  spirit  of  them  is  lost. 
Neither  the  washing  of  feet,  nor  the  kiss,  were  religious  insti- 
tutes ;  for  they  existed  in  the  world  before  Christianity.  They 
were  expressions  of  kindness  in  those  places  and  ages.  Their 
feet  required  washing,  which  ours  do  not;  and  to  perform 
that  for  a  person  which  is  unnecessary,  in  order  to  imitate  a 
conduct  which  was  necessary,  is  deviating  from  the  spirit  of 
it,  while  we  retain  the  form. 

«  5.  There  seems  to  be  but  very  little  exercise  of  forbearance 
among  them.  Every  difference  in  doctrine,  or  even  in  a  case  of 
discipline,  seems  as  if  it  issued  in  a  separation.  There  are 
many  worthy  characters  now  in  Scotland  and  its  vicinity,  who 
stand  excluded  for  no  other  reason,  but  that  they  could  not  ap- 
prove of  some  of  the  proceedings  of  the  church.  If  this  plan 
of  discipline  were  universal,  it  would  be  a  source  of  divisions 
without  end. 

"  6.  Their  plan  seems  to  be  but  little  calculated  to  diffuse 
the  gospel ;  as  when  ministers  of  other  denominations  join 
Shem,  instead  of  continuing  them  in  the  ministry,  and  encourag- 


MEMOIRS    OB1 

ing  them  to  go  every  where  preaching  the  gospel,  they  arc 
generally  silenced,  and  turn  physicians,  or  follow  some  other 
temporal  calling  for  their  support. 

"  There  are  some  things,  however,  in  which  they  are  worthy  of 
imitation,  particularly  in  their  liberality  in  giving  of  their  worldly 
property,  and  in  their  peaceable  demeanour  as  subjects." 

Such  were  the  principal  things  which  struck  the  mind  of 
my  departed  Brother,  when  he  first  visited  Scotland,  in  1799. 
I  shall  give  a  more  brief  account  of  his  subsequent  journies. 

He  visited  that  country  a  second  time,  in  1 802,  and  gave  a  de- 
tail of  the  chief  circumstances  that  were  worthy  of  notice,  in  a 
series  of  Letters  to  Mrs.  Fuller,  from  which  I  have  made  the 
•following  extracts. 

LETTER  I. 

Barton-on-t he- Number, 
Aug.ZS,  1802. 

«  At  ten  we  arrived  here.  My  sleep  having  been  regular,  I 
was  not  weary,  and  am  now  very  well.  With  tenderness  and 
earnest  solicitude,  I  have  importuned  preserving  mercy  for  my 
dear  family,  and  that  I  may  visit  it  in  due  time,  and  not  sin  ! 

"  25 — I  begin  to  feel  awkward :  having  reduced  my  four  guin- 
eas to  four  shillings,  I  am  afraid  I  should  be  in  the  situation  of  a 
number  of  small  ships  hereabouts  at  low  tide,  run  a-ground !  I 
am  thinking  whether  I  must  not  take  a  walk  before  dinner,  in- 
stead of  having  one  I  If  I  could  but  get  over  the  water  I 
should  do. 

«  26. — I  was  detained  last  night  till  half-past  six  :  and  so  strong 
a  westerly  wind  blew,  that  it  was  thought  the  hoy,  or  daily  passage 
boat,  could  not  have  come  out ;  in  which  case  I  must  have  staid 
longer  still.  It  did  come  however ;  but  a  number  of  the  pas- 
sengers were  sick  through  our  being  tossed  about:  There 
were  near  sixty  of  us  on  board,  and  we  arrived  safely  at  Hull, 
about  half  past  seven.  It  was  a  fine  sight  to  see  the  waves,  each 
as  large  as  the  roof  of  a  small  house,  continually  beating  against 
pur  vessel,  while  she  rode  triumphantly  above  them  all.  I  felt 


MR.    FULLER. 

uo  sickness,  but  stood  above  deck,  having  hold  of  a  rope  with 
my  hand,  and  gazed  all  the  time  with  a  kind  of  sublime  pleas- 
ure  at  the  majestic  sight  I  had  eleven-pence  in  my  pocket 
when  i  came  into  the  house  last  night.  I  am  to  spend  my  Sab- 
bath in  the  two  Baptist  churches.  I  have  hitherto  been  mer- 
cifully preserved  in  all  respects.  My  mind  is  peaceful  and 
happy ;  and  my  approaches  to  a  throne  of  grace,  at  which  I  do 
not  forget  you  all,  have  been  free  and  tender." 

LETTER  II. 

Hulling.  28,  1802. 

"  I  am  reduced  to  a  state  of  perplexity  about  getting  to  Ed- 
inburgh. The  Leith  packet  sails  on  Lord's  day  morning,  and 
will  wait  for  no  one.  I  expect  I  must  go  by  coach. 

"  York,  3 1  .—I  arrived  here  last  night,  and  determined  to  stop 
a  day,  and  try  what  I  can  do  among  the  serious  Church  people. 
Here  are  no  Dissenters,  except  a  few  Socinian  Baptists.  I 
went  immediately  to  the  house  of  Hepworth  and  Crosby,  who 
for  some  time  have  subscribed  to  our  Mission,  and  met  with  a 
kind  reception.  Supped  there  with  Mr.  Overton,  the  author  of 
the  True  Churchman,  who  is  a  clergyman  of  this  city  :  I  believe 
we  had  much  mutual  pleasure.  I  am  here  well  known  by  all 
the  evangelical  clergy,  of  whom  there  are  three,  if  not  more. 
I  called  on  another  venerable  old  minister  next  morning.  At 
Hull  I  called  on  two  clergymen,  who  readily  contributed  to  the 
cause,  and  several  of  their  people  followed  their  example.  I 
collected  twelve  guineas  in  York,  and  had  a  good  deal  of  friendly 
intercourse  with  these  godly  Episcopalians. 

"  I  was  also  surprised  at  being  informed  that  a  little  Bap- 
tist church  was  lately  formed  here.  I  found  the  principal  per- 
son :  they  would  have  been  glad  of  a  sermon  this  evening,  if 
they  had  known  in  time.  I  gave  them  all  the  good  counsel  I 
could :  prayed  with  them,  and  returned  to  the  company  of  my 
other  friends,  with  whom  I  enjoyed  much  free  and  agreeable 
conversation. 

"Edinburgh,  Saturday,  Sept.  4,  1802. — I  came  hither  the 
night  before  last  at  eleven  o'clock,  after  riuiijg  80  miles  to 


MEMOIRS  op 

Newcastle,  taking  a  few  hours  sleep  there,  setting  off  again  at 
five  in  the  morning,  riding  120  miles  to  Edinburgh.  I  bore 
my  journey  very  well,  though  I  have  had  a  slight  roughness  on 
my  lungs  almost  ever  since  I  set  off;  I  do  not  know  that 
bathing  in  the  sea  yesterday,  for  the  first  time  in  my  life,  did 
it  any  harm. — I  have  engaged  to  preach  twice  to-morrow,  for 
Messrs.  Aikman  and  Haldane,  at  the  Tabernacle." 

LETTER  III. 

Dundee,  Sefit.  15,  1802. 

«  Last  week  I  preached  twice  in  Edinburgh  and  once  at  Dal- 
keith.  I  was  not  a  little  apprehensive  that  I  should  be  laid  by 
with  hoarseness;  but  I  went  through  very  well.  On  Lord's 
day  I  preached  twice ;  in  the  morning  to  about  fifteen  hundred 
people,  and  in  the  evening  to  about  four  thousand,  when  we  had 
a  collection  of  £  1 30.  I  was  not  at  all  hurt  by  it.  On  Monday 
morning  I  took  leave  of  friends  at  Edinburgh,  who  were  many 
of  them  much  affected  at  parting;  and  rode  in  company 
with  Mr.  Wardlaw,  (a  young  minister,  who  agrees  to  accom- 
pany me  my  whole  journey  in  Scotland,)  and  another  friend  in  a 
post-chaise,  to  this  place,  which  is  sixty-three  miles.  Our  first 
stage  was  to  Queen's  Ferry,  where  we  crossed  the  Frith  of 
Forth,  two  miles  wide.  Breakfasted  with  Mr.  Ebenezer  Brown, 
(son  of  Mr.  Brown  of  Haddington,)  at  Inverkeithing.  A  lovely 
family  this  !  Set  off  at  eleven  o'clock  for  Kinross,  and  from 
thence  to  Perth  by  dinner.  Called  on  Mr.  Scott,  a  clergyman, 
who  paid  me  twenty  guineas,  which  he  had  received  for  me. 
Reached  Dundee  at  ten.  I  lodge  at  Mr.  Innes's,  the  minister 
of  the  Tabernacle.  This  is  a  town  of  about  20,000  people,  on 
the  Firth  of  Tay,  near  the  Eastern  coast.  I  preached  last  night 
to  about  1 400  hearers :  collected  not  quite  twenty  pounds.  To- 
day we  go  back  to  Perth,  where  1  am  to  preach  to-night  and 
collect,  at  the  Tabernacle.  (The  places  so  called  in  Scotland, 
are  not  occupied  by  people  like  our  Methodists,  but  strict  Inde- 
pendents, connected  with  Mr.  Haldane.)  The  next  day  I  go  to 
Stirling,  and  thence  to  Glasgow. 


M£U   FULLER.  175 

«  At  Tealy,  five  miles  from  hence,  northward,  lived  the  fa- 
mous Mr,  Glass.  He  resigned  that  living,  and  set  up  an  Inde- 
pendent church  government,  attended  with  all  the  peculiarities 
which  have  distinguished  his  followers  ever  since.  Robert 
Sandeman  married  his  daughter,  and  entered  deeply  into  his 
views.  Here  they  are  called  Glassites.  In  England  they  are 
called  Sandemanians.  In  both  they  are  uncommonly  tenacious 
of  forms,  refusing  to  unite  with  other  Christians  in  almost  every 
thing  religious ;  but  many  of  them  not  refusing  to  unite  with 
wicked  men  at  a  theatre.  This  spirit  has  too  much  infected 
most  of  the  Scotch  Baptists,  though  all  by  this  time  disavow  Glass 
and  Sandeman.  Wherever  much  of  the  spirit  which  generally 
attends  this  system  prevails,  the  consequences  are  very  injuri- 
ous. I  am  happy  to  rectify  one  mistake — David  Dale  of  Glas- 
gow, whom  I  always  reckoned  a  Glassite,  is  not  so. 

"  I  am  now  writing  in  my  chamber,  from  which  I  have  a 
full  east  view  of  Dundee  close  under  me,  and  of  the  Firth  of 
Tay  down  to  the  sea :  from  this  place  it  is  about  four  or  five 
miles  wide.  If  the  wind  be  fair,  they  will  sail  to  London  in 
three  or  four  days.  Between  here  and  Perth  is  a  fine  roman- 
tic country,  one  and  twenty  miles,  all  along  the  side  of  the  Tay, 
They  are  now  in  the  midst  of  harvest.  The  women  reap  as 
much  as  the  men.  The  natural  sterility  of  the  soil  in  this  coun- 
try has  stimulated  agricultural  improvement,  which  seems  at  a 
greater  height  than  in  England.  Our  northern  friends  are  in- 
duced to  treat  Knglishmen  well,  not  only  from  friendship  and 
hospitality,  but  from  a  regard  to  the  credit  of  their  country, 
•which  some  of  our  haughty  gentry  have  too  much  depreciated. 
They  have  to  say,  and  justly,  «  Though  you  say  our  country  is 
sterile  and  poor,  yet  it  is  from  hence  that  Smithfield  is  supplied 
with  beef.' " 


LETTER  IV. 

Glasgow,  Sept.  19,  1802. 

" We  had  a  pleasant  journey  on  Wednesday,  from 

Dundee  to  Perth,    Much  interesting  conversation  in  the  post- 


MEMOIRS    OF 

chaise  with  my  companions,  on  various  subjects  in  divinity ;  the 
atonement  of  Christ,  the  covenant  with  Abraham,  &c.  on  which 
they  sounded  my  sentiments.  We  also  talked  over  most  of  the 
points  between  me  and  Mr.  McLean,  and  almost  came  together 
in  all  things  but  infant  baptism.  Preached  at  the  Independent 
meeting  to  about  a  thousand  people.  Supped  with  a  venerable 
old  Scotch  clergyman,  Mr.  Scott,  and  with  Mr.  Willison, 
another  clergyman,  about  five  miles  off,  whose  company  was 
engaging.  On  Thursday  morning  the  6th,  set  off  for  Stirling,  a 
journey  of  nearly  forty  miles ;  got  in  at  six  in  the  evening. 
Preaching  had  been  advertised  in  the  papers,  to  be  in  the  town 
hall ;  for  here  both  Kirkmen  and  Seceders  keep  their  pulpit  doors 
shut  against  all  but  themselves  But  Mr.  Campbell,  a  clergyman 
from  Kippen,  came  seven  or  eight  miles  on  purpose  to  see  me, 
and  heard  me  in  the  town  hall.  I  believe  he  was  the  only  min- 
ister there.  Mr.  Smart  would  have  been  friendly,  but  he  was 
out.  We  had  three  or  four  hundred  people,  and  collected  near 
fifteen  pounds.  After  sermon,  Mr.  Campbell,  who  was  all 
brotherly  kindness,  would  have  me  go  with  him  to  Mr.  R.  one 
of  the  clergy,  who,  though  he  did  not  think  it  best  to  attend,  yet 
showed  himself  friendly  to  the  cause,  by  giving  me  two  or  three 
guineas.  He  behaved  well  to  me,  and  I  breakfasted  with  him 
the  next  morning. 

On  Friday  the  17th,  I  rose  early,  and  went  to  see  the  town 
and  castle  before  breakfast.  This  is  a  most  romantic  situa- 
tion :  the  finest  spot  I  have  seen  in  Scotland.  Here  the  Scot- 
tish kings  used  occasionally  to  reside.  I  suppose  it  was  their 
summer  house.  Near  this  is  the  late  seat  of  Robert  Hal- 
dane,  Esq.  a  seat  which  a  Scotch  nobleman  has  pronounced  to 
be  '  a  perfect  heaven  upon  earth  ;'  but  which  he  sold,  and  has 
ever  since  lived  in  a  recluse  style  of  life,  laying  out  thousands 
every  year  for  the  propagation  of  the  gospel  in  Scotland  and 
Ireland.  «  O,  (say  the  gentry,)  he  must  have  some  deep  scheme 
in  his  head.'  Some  of  the  clergy  cannot  endure  him :  but  he 
has  great  interest  with  the  common  people.  He  is  a  great  econo- 
mist in  order  to  be  generous.  He  has  saved  £ 30,000.  I  am  told, 
by  the  advance  of  the  funds  since  he  bought  in.  Here  we  left 


MR.    FULLER.  1?T 

Mr.  Harvey,  one  of  our  travelling  companions  ;  a  man  who  is 
made  up  of  good  sense,  gentleness,  and  Christian  simplicity. 

"  Mr.  Wardlaw  and  I  set  off  for  Glasgow,  twenty-seven 
miles;  this  young  man  is  a  promising  character.  He  was 
brought  up  for  the  Burgher  Secession  ;  but  has  left  it  for  the 
Tabernacle  connexion.  He  has  a  place  now  building  in  Glas- 
gow which  will  hold  ten  or  twelve  hundred  people.  He  read 
the  hymns  and  prayed  for  me  during  the  journey,  which  has 
been  one  hundred  and  fifty  miles  since  last  Monday,  and  has 
added  about  £70.  to  my  stock,  without  impairing  my  health. 
Here  I  found  a  letter  from  yourself,  which  gave  me  spirits. 
On  Saturday  the  18th,  I  called  on  several  friends.  Saw  Dr. 
Watt,  who  is  now  one  of  the  pastors  of  the  Scotch  Baptist 
church  in  this  city.  We  had  had  before  some  sharp  corres- 
pondence, but  he  was  now  very  conciliating. 

«  The  pastor  of  another  church,  who  profess  to  be  in  fel- 
lowship with  the  English  Baptists,  brought  a  message  from 
them,  that  they  would  be  glad  to  hear  my  faith,  and  if  it  ac- 
corded with  theirs,  to  have  me  preach,  and  join  them  at  the 
Lord's  supper,  I  told  him,  he  had  sent  their  faith  to  me,  and 
I  approved  of  it ;  but  I  should  make  no  other  confession  of  faith 
than  that  ;  that  I  did  not  come  to  Glasgow  as  a  candidate  for 
their  pulpit,  and  it  was  indifferent  to  me  whether  I  occupied  it. 
I  said,  I  had  no  objection  to  answer  him  any  question  he  thought 
proper  to  ask  me  as  a  Christian  ;  but  I  had  no  notion  of  being 
interrogated  as  a  condition  of  preaching,  &c.  At  near  eleven 
a  deacon  came  with  their  decision,  that  if  I  would  not  make  a 
confession,  they  could  not  admit  me.  *  Very  well,  then  I  shall 
go  to  the  Tabernacle,  and  consider  your  conduct  as  a  renuncia- 
tion of  connexion  with  us  as  English  churches,  for  it  implies 
you  have  no  confidence  in  us.'  He  said,  it  was  all  owing  to 
two  or  three,  and  that  the  church  in  general  wished  it  to  be 
otherwise.  I  heard  at  Tabernacle  in  the  morning,  notice  was 
given  that  I  should  preach  in  the  afternoon  and  evening.  The 
Baptists  repented,  but  it  was  too  late.  I  preached  in  the  after- 
noon to  four  thousand  people,  in  the  evening  to  near  five  thou- 
sand. Collected  £200.  I  have  a  little  head-ache,  but  my 
voice  is  not  hurt." 
23 


MEMOIRS    OF 

LETTER  V. 

Liverpool,  Scfit.  25,  1802, 

« I  have  just  arrived  here,  and  found  yours,  after  a  long  and 
tedious  journey  of  two  hundred  and  twenty-five  miles,  in  which 
I  put  off  my  clothes  only  for  two  hours  since  Thursday  morn- 
ing. 

"  On  Monday,  Sept.  20,  I  was  seized  at  Glasgow,  with  vio- 
lent sickness  and  vomiting  of  bile,  and  kept  my  bed  till  three 
in  the  afternoon.  While  in  bed,  I  was  visited  by  Mr.  L.  and 
the  deacons  of  the  Baptist  church  ;  I  learnt  that  the  refusal  of 
their  pulpit  was  against  the  will  of  the  church,  except  two 
members ;  that  the  church  at  P.  with  which  they  are  in  connex- 
ion, had  sent  deputies  to  oppose  my  being  admitted  to  preach 
and  commune  with  them,  and  these  with  the  two  members  car- 
ried their  point ;  but  on  Lord's  day  noon  the  church  were  so 
hurt  at  my  being  refused,  that  they  resolved  to  invite  me,  Sec. 
The  two  deacons  were  deputed  to  request  that  I  would  look 
over  the  affair  of  Lord's  day,  and  consider  them  as  one  with  us. 
Accordingly  I  preached  there  in  the  evening,  and  collected  £45. 
after  about  £200.  had  been  collected  on  Lord's  day.  Tuesday 
morning,  set  off  in  a  chaise  for  Greenock  :  preached  and  col- 
lected £33.  Wednesday  returned  and  preached  at  Paisley  ; 
have  not  yet  received  their  collections,  but  suppose  it  may  be 
about  £40.  I  found  myself  getting  better  daily,  though  travel- 
ling and  preaching. 

"  On  Thursday  morning  I  met  with  all  the  members  of  the 
Baptist  church,  who  appear  to  be  a  simple-hearted  people,  and 
regret  my  not  preaching  and  communing  with  them.  They 
wished  for  a  connexion  with  the  English  churches.  I  told 
them  that  the  distance  was  such  that  our  connexion  could  an- 
swer but  few  ends.  We  might  once  in  a  while  hear  from  each 
other,  might  pray  for  one  another,  and  if  the  minister  or  mem- 
bers of  either  came  to  the  other,  they  might  be  admitted  to  com- 
munion ;  but  that  was  all.  They  assented  to  this.  I  then  told 
them,  that  I  had  heard  of  the  Baptists  in  Scotland  being  negli- 
gent of  free  preaching  to  the  unconverted,  and  of  family  re- 
ligion. Whether  this  charge  was  true  or  not,  I  could  not  tell : 
but  I  earnestly  exhorted  them  to  make  it  evidently  appear,  that 


MR.  FULLER.  179 

they  were  far  more  anxious  that  those  around  them  should  be- 
come Christians,  than  that  they  should  embrace  our  opinion  as 
to  baptism  ;  if  sinners  were  converted  to  God  among  them,  and 
made  Christians,  they  would  probably  be  Baptists  also  of  their 
own  accord :  but  I  reminded  them,  that  if  family  religion  was 
neglected,  Paedobaptists  would  be  furnished  with  the  most 
weighty  objection  against  our  sentiments  as  Baptists,  &c.  Sec. 

"  They  seemed  to  receive  what  1  said  in  love,  and  to  approve 
of  it.  I  prayed  with  them,  and  so  parted. 

"Thursday  noon,  Sept.  23,  1802.— Being  disappointed  of  a 
place  in  the  mail,  I  ordered  a  post-chaise,  and  advertised  for  a 
partner  to  Liverpool.  A  Jeiv  wanted  to  go  thither,  and  we 
took  a  post-chaise  together.  He  proved  an  intelligent,  but 
rather  profane  man.  We  had  much  talk  on  Christianity,  and 
sometimes  I  thought  him  somewhat  impressed.  We  had 
scarcely  got  out  of  Glasgow,  before  he  observed  something  of 
the  dissatisfaction  we  found  in  all  our  enjoyments.  I  acqui- 
esced, and  suggested  that  there  must  be  some  defect  in  the 
object,  and  thence  inferred  a  future  state.  He  did  not  seem  free 
to  pursue  the  subject ;  but  said,  <  I  am  a  Jew,  and  I  consider 
you  as  a  Christian  divine  :  I  wish  to  do  every  thing  to  accom- 
modate you  during  the  journey.'  I  thanked  him,  and  said  I 
wished  to  do  the  same  towards  him  in  return.  I  presently  found? 
however,  that  he  was  a  Sadducee,  holding  with  only  the  Five 
Books  of  Moses,  and  those  very  loosely  ;  suggesting  of  Moses, 
that  though  he  was  a  great  and  good  man  in  his  day,  yet  it  was  his 
opinion  there  had  been  much  more  learned  men  since.  He  also 
began  <  accommodating*  me  with  curses  and  oaths  on  the  most 
trifling  occasions.  Finding  I  had  a  compound  of  infidelity  and 
profligacy  to  contend  with,  and  about  a  fifty-hours'  journey  be- 
fore me,  in  which  I  should  be  cooped  up  with  him  night  and 
day,  I  did  not  oppose  him  much  at  first ;  but  let  him  go  on, 
waiting  for  fit  occasions.  I  asked  for  a  proof  of  Moses*  igno- 
rance. Jew.  «  He  spoke  of  the  earth  as  stationary,  and  the  sun 
as  rising  and  setting.'  F.  'And  do  not  those  that  you  call 
learned  men  speak  the  same,  in  their  ordinary  conversation  ?' 
/.  <  To  be  sure  they  do.'  F.  *  They  could  not  be  understood, 
nor  understand  themselves,  could  they,  if  they  were  to  speak 


180  AIKMOIUS    OF 

of  the  earth's  rising  and  setting  ?'  J.  <  True.'  After  a  while 
he  praised  the  ten  commandments.  I  acquiesced,  and  added, 
<  I  have  been  not  a  little  hurt,  Sir,  in  observing  since  we  have 
been  together,  how  lightly  you  treat  one  of  them,  Thou  shalt 
not  take  the  name  of  the  Lord  thy  God  in  -vain  ."  J.  *  I  must 
own  that  is  a  bad  habit :  I  have  been  told  of  it  before.'  We 
had  no  more  swearing. 

"  He  talked  after  this  of  the  merit  of  good  works  :  and  told 
me,  at  my  request,  much  about  their  worship  and  ceremonies  j 
particularly  their  great  day  of  atonement,  which  he  said  was 
very  impressive.  JF.  '  Do  you  offer  sacrifices  ?'  J.  <  No  :  not 
since  the  destruction  of  the  temple,  except  it  be  a  fowl  or  so, 
just  as  a  representation  of  what  has  been.*  JF.  <  And  do  you 
really  think  that  the  blood  of  any  animal,  or  any  of  those  cere- 
monies, can  take  away  sin  ?'  J.  « If  you  deny  that,  you  deny 
the  laws  of  Moses.'  F.  <  No :  the  sacrifices  of  Moses  were 
not  designed  to  take  away  sin,  but  to  prefigure  a  greater  sac- 
rifice.' He  paused.  I  added,  *  Sir,  you  are  a  sinner,  and  I  am 
a  sinner :  we  must  both  shortly  appear  before  God.  I  know  not 
upon  what  you  rest  your  hopes.  You  have  talked  of  human 
merit.  I  have  nothing  of  the  kind  on  which  to  place  my  trust. 
I  believe  we  have  all  merited  the  displeasure  of  our  Creator,  and 
if  dealt  with  according  to  our  deserts,  must  perish  for  ever. 
Sir,  if  our  sins  be  not  atoned  for  by  a  greater  sacrifice  than  any 
that  were  offered  under  the  law  of  Moses,  we  are  undone.'  He 
seemed  impressed  by  this,  and  owned  that  according  to  their 
law,  and  confessions  on  the  day  of  atonement,  they  were  all 
sinners,  and  that  their  good  works  could  not  save  them.  I  then 
endeavoured  to  point  him  to  Christ  as  the  only  hope  :  but  he 
began  to  make  objections  to  his  conception  by  the  power  of  the 
Holy  Spirit.  F.  <  That  was  no  more  impossible  than  God's 
making  the  first  man  and  woman.'  J.  <  True,  but  God  having 
made  these,  the  rest  are  born  by  ordinary  generation.'  F. 
1  You  might  as  well  say,  that  God  having  given  the  sea  its 
laws,  it  moves  in  future  according  to  them  ;  and  therefore  the 
Red  Sea,  could  not  have  been  divided.  Your  argument  goes 
to  deny  all  miracles.'  J.  «  We  think  charitably  of  you,  but  you 
do  not  of  us.*  J?.  c  How  can  you  think  well  of  us,  when  you 


MR.    FULLER.  181 

consider  us  as  deluded  by  an  impostor  ?'  J.  <  We  think  well 
of  all  that  do  good/  F.  <  So  do  we. — But  what  a  singular  im- 
postor must  Jesus  have  been  if  he  was  one  !  Did  you  ever  know 
or  read  of  such  a  one,  either  as  to  doctrine  or  manners  ?'  J. 
1  Who  wrote  the  life  of  Jesus  ?'  F.  '  Matthew,  Mark,  Luke, 
and  John.' — /.  <  Very  well,  were  not  they  his  disciples,  and 
therefore  partial  to  him  ?'  F.  l  You  might  as  well  object  to  all 
the  books  of  the  Old  Testament :  they  were  not  written  by  ad- 
versaries   J.  t  Ah,  he  should  have  come  down  from 

the  cross,  and  then  all  would  have  believed  on  him  !'  F.  '  If 
evidence  had  been  the  thing  that  was  wanted,  why  did  not  the 
resurrection  of  Lazarus  satisfy  them  ?' — J.  « That  was  a  doubt- 
ful matter.  I  reckon  Jesus  was  a  learned  man  ;  Lazarus  might 
not  be  dead,  but  only  apparently  so  ;  and  he  might  make  an 
experiment  upon  him,  as  many  have  done  since,  and  restored 
suspended  animation/  F.  «  Did  you  ever  read  the  New  Testa- 
ment ?'  J.  *  Yes,  I  read  it  when  a  boy  of  eight  years  old/  F. 

*  And  not  since  ?'     J.  <  No/     F,  «  What  then  can  you  know 
about  it  ?    you  only  take  up  the  objections  of  your  Rabbles 
(whom  he  had  a  little  before  acknowledged  to  be  many  of  them 
no  better  than  learned  knaves,)  if  you  had  read  and  considered 
the  history  of  the  resurrection  of  Lazarus,  you  could  not  object 
as  you  do/ 

"  After  this,  I  asked  hin\  what  he  thought  of  prophecy  ? 

*  Prophecy  !  (said  he,)  I  have  often  when  a  boy,  looked  at  the 
clouds,  and  seen  in  them  horses  and  chariots,  and  I  know  not 
what !'     F.  «  I  understand  you  ;  but  it  is  strange  that  imagina- 
tion should  find  in  the  prophecies  the  substance  of  all  succeed- 
ing history.    Were  not  all  the  great  empires  that  have  been  in 
the  world,  from  the  times  of  Daniel  to  this  day  ;  namely,  the 
Babylonian,  the  Persian,  Grecian,  and  Roman,  with  their  va- 
rious subdivisions,  clearly  foretold  by  him  ?'  He  would  make 
no  answer  to  this,  but  treated  it  all  as  fable.    <  They  talk,  (said 
he,)  of  our  being  restored  to  the  Promised  Land.    I  will  tell 
you  the  whole   mystery  of  it.     Those  of  us  who  have  plenty, 
wish  for  no  other  promised  land :  but  those  that  are  poor  would 
be  glad  enough  to  better  their  condition  !' 


182  MEMOIRS    OF 

"  He  complained  of  the  persecutions  that  the  Jews  had  un- 
dergone from  Christians.  I  disavowed  all  such  treatment,  as 
the  conduct  of  wicked  men.  'But,  (said  he,)  you  have  been, 
even  in  this  war,  fighting  for  your  religion.'  I  answered, 
'  Those  who  profess  to  fight  for  religion,  fight  for  the  want  of 
it ;  and  Christianity  employs  none  but  spiritual  weapons.'  I 
also  assured  him,  that  real  Christians  felt  a  tender  regard  towards 
them,  and  loved  them  for  their  fathers'  sake.  'Yes,  (said  he, 
sneeringly,)  the  good  people  at  Glasgow  pray  every  Sunday  for 
our  conversion  !'  I  answered,  c  Very  likely :  it  is  what  I  have 
often  done  myself/ 

«  When  we  got  to  Liverpool,  he  requested  that  when  I  came 
to  London  I  would  call  and  see  him.  1  told  him  I  would  on 
one  condition,  which  was,  that  he  would  permit  me  to  present 
him  with  a  New  Testament,  and  promise  to  read  it  carefully. 
He  consented  ;  but  that  he  might  put  far  from  him  the  evil  day, 
proposed,  that  if,  when  I  called  to  see  him,  I  would  bring  one 
with  me,  he  would  read  it  I  saw  no  more  of  him :  but  meet- 
ing with  a  Gosfiel  its  own  Witness,  in  Liverpool,  in  which  is 
an  address  to  the  Jews,  I  wrapt  it  up  in  paper,  and  sent  it  to 
him  at  his  inn ;  having  written  withinside  as  follows :  4  A  small 
token  of  respect  from  the  author,  to  Mr.  D.  L.  A.  for  his  friendly 
attentions  to  him  on  a  journey  from  Glasgow  to  Liverpool,  Sept. 
23,  24,25,  1802.' 

"  After  all,  in  reflecting  upon  it,  I  felt  guilty  in  having  said 
so  little  to  purpose  ;  and  was  persuaded,  that  if  I  had  been  more 
spiritually-minded,  I  should  have  recommended  my  Lord  and 
Saviour  better  than  I  did. 

«  In  riding  from  Manchester  to  Harborough,  in  the  mail,  I 
found  myself  in  very  profane  company.  I  therefore  for  the 
greater  part  of  the  journey  composed  myself  as  if  asleep.  Near 
Loughborough  two  gentlemen  followed  us  in  a  post-chaise,  one 
of  them  wishing  to  take  my  place  when  we  got  to  Harborough. 
We  dined  at  Leicester,  and  the  gentleman  being  in  the  inn  yard, 
I  went  to  him  and  offered  him  my  place  from  Leicester,  pro- 
posing to  ride  on  the  outside  as  far  as  Harborough.  He  thanked 
me ;  but  declined  it.  He  added,  '  I  think  I  have  seen  you  Sir, 
before.'  He  dined  with  us  ;  and  while  at  dinner,  seeing  my 


MR.   FULLER.  183 

portmanteau  marked  A.  F.  K.  he  asked  me,  before  our  compa- 
ny, if  my  name  was  not  Fuller  ?  I  told  him  it  was.  He  then 
thanked  me,  not  only  for  my  kind  offer  of  my  place,  but  for  a 
late  publication,  which  he  had  read  with  unusual  satisfaction.  1 
made  but  little  answer,  only  inquiring  his  name,  which  I  found 
to  be  Lee,  of  the  old  Jewry,  a  hearer  of  Mr.  Newton.  As  soon 
as  we  had  got  into  the  coach,  (Mr.  Lee  was  not  with  us,  but  fol- 
lowed in  a  post-chaise,)  my  former  swearing  companions  were 
all  mute,  and  continued  so  for  the  greater  part  of  the  journey. 
One  of  them,  however,  who  had  been  more  civil  and  sober 
than  the  rest,  addressed  himself  to  me.  <  I  perceive  Sir,  (said 
he,)  by  what  was  said  at  dinner,  that  you  are  an  author.  Will 
you  excuse  me  if  I  ask  what  it  is  that  you  have  published  ?'  I 
told  him  I  was  a  Christian  minister,  and  had  published  a  piece 
in  defence  of  Christianity.  He  expressed  a  wish  to  see  it.  He 
then  talked  to  me  as  one  would  talk  to  a  literary  man,  on  the 
English  language,  composition,  Sec.  I  asked  him,  if  he  was  an 
Englishman  ?  He  answered,  *  No,  I  am  a  Prussian/  He  in- 
quired if  I  had  Junius's  Letters  ?  I  told  him  I  had  heard  pretty 
much  of  them,  but  had  not  read  them,  as  they  were  not  partic- 
ularly in  my  way.  «  O,  (said  he,)  you  must  read  them  by  all 
means,  I  will  send  you  a  copy  of  them.'  I  thanked  him,  and  as 
he  had  expressed  a  wish  to  see  what  I  had  written,  we  would  if 
agreeable  to  him  make  an  exchange.  To  this  he  agreed,  and 
we  exchanged  addresses.  His  was  Count  D.  at  the  Prussian 
Ambassador's,  London.  Finding  him  to  be  one  of  the  Prussian 
Ambassador's  suite,  I  asked  him  many  questions  about  the  civil 
and  ecclesiastical  affairs  of  Prussia.  Respecting  the  former  he 
said,  <  What  advantages  we  had  by  the  law,  they  had  in  a  good 
measure  by  custom :  that  though  the  king's  will  was  law ;  yet 
custom  so  swayed  it  as  to  be  very  little  oppressive.  He  men- 
tioned the  king's  having  a  desire  for  a  poor  man's  field,  that  lay 
near  his  ;  that  the  owner  was  unwilling,  and  the  matter  was  re- 
ferred to  the  College  ot  Justice,  who  advised  the  king  not  to 
insist  upon  it,  and  he  did  not.  He  spoke  of  religious  matters  as 
attended  with  toleration.  The  Mennonites,  who  I  suppose  are 
Baptists,  he  described  as  enthusiasts,  much  like  the  Quakers, 
who  have  no  regular  clergymen,  but  any  of  them  get  up  and 


784  MEMOIRS    OF 

speak,  as  they  feel  themselves  inspired.  How  far  his  account 
is  to  be  depended  upon,  I  cannot  tell.  On  parting  with  my 
company,  I  came  home,  and  found  all  well.  Thanks,  as  dear 
Brother  Pearce  said  after  his  journey  to  Ireland,  thanks  to  the 
Preserver  of  men  !" 

Mr.  Fuller  visited  Scotland  a  third  time  in  1805,  and  wrote 
from  Lincoln,  June  1 9th,  where  he  preached,  and  had  a  collec- 
tion for  the  Mission.  "  I  have  been  up  to  the  top  of  the  cathe- 
dral. It  was  338  steps,  and  the  height  of  the  hill  on  which  it 
stands  above  the  level,  is  perhaps  equal  to  the  height  of  the 
building.  Boston  tower,  35  miles  off,  seemed  near. 

"  Hull,  June  21. — I  got  hither  yesterday  :  was  two  hours  in 
crossing  the  Humber.  My  health  is  good :  have  collected  this 
morning  nearly  sixty  pounds." 

"  Scarborough,  June  26. — Hull  and  Cottingham  collections 
amount  to  upwards  of  £  1 50.  The  weather  has  been  very 
trying  to  my  lungs ;  my  cold  has  rather  increased.  I  have  been 
sometimes  dissolved  in  a  manner,  in  perspiration,  and  sometimes 
cut  up  with  a  northeast  wind,  as  the  case  was  yesterday,  in 
riding  hither  in  an  open  chaise.  After  collecting  here  to-day, 
and  preaching  at  night  for  Mr.  Hague,  the  venerable  Baptist 
minister,  I  hope  to  set  off  for  York,  and  get  into  the  mail  for 
Edinburgh.  I  have  enjoyed  much  peace  and  calmness  of  mind 
in  my  work.  Sometimes  preaching  has  been  pleasant,  and 
private  prayer,  in  which  my  dear  family  and  Christian  friends 
are  always  remembered." 

"Dundee,  Thursday,  June  11,  1805. — I  left  Edinburgh  on 
Tuesday  morning.  Preached  at  the  Burgher  meeting :  col- 
lected about  £26.  there,  and  a  Baptist  church  in  the  town  made 
it  up  £31.  On  Wednesday  morning,  called  on  Mr.  Ebenezer 
Brown,  at  Inverkeithing :  dined  at  Burnt  Island,  on  the  Frith 
of  Forth  ;  preached  in  a  Burgher  meeting  in  Kirkaldy,  where 
they  collected  £40.  These  were  most  friendly  people.  Dr. 
Fleming,  the  minister  of  the  church,  joined  with  all  the  other 
clergymen  in  his  neighbourhood,  and  all  the  Seceders  and 
Scotch  Baptists,  in  exerting  themselves  to  the  utmost.  This 
morning  we  went  to  Cupar  to  breakfast,  having  come  twelve 


MB.    FULLER.  185 

miles  on  our  way  last  night,  after  nine  o'clock.  Here  we  were 
in  company  with  a  warm  Sandemariian.  I  was  silent.  Dr.  S- 
and  he  talked.  We  crossed  the  Tay,  which  is  here  one  or  two 
miles  over,  and  came  to  Dundee,  where  I  am  to  preach  to- 
night. 

"  While  I  was  at  Edinburgh  I  called  on  Mr.  M'Lean,  and  sat 
an  hour  with  him.  We  had  much  explanation,  in  a  very  friendly 
way.  They  make  a  collection  for  us  next  Lord's  day.  They 
said  I  should  do  but  little  this  time :  but  if  it  do  not  amount  to 
as  much  or  more  than  heretofore,  I  am  mistaken.  Mr.  Hal- 
dane's  are  proposing  to  send  out  three  Missionaries  of  their 
own,  and  I  told  his  people  I  hoped  they  would  give  nothing 
which  would  interfere  with  their  own  undertaking  ;  yet  our  col- 
lection on  Lord's  day  was  upwards  of  £126.  If  the  people  will 
give,^  how  can  I  help  it  ?" 

"  Aberdeen,  July  14, 1805. — On  Thursday  night,  after  preach- 
ing at  Dundee  to  about  2000  people,  my  strength  so  failed  that 
I  was  obliged  to  leave  all  the  company  immediately,  and  go  to 
bed.  I  had  a  sore  throat,  which  Dr.  Stuart,  my  kind  com- 
panion in  travels,  treated  plentifully  with  hartshorn.  Next 
morning,  after  a  good  night's  rest,  I  was  nearly  well.  We 
travelled  on  Friday  about  35  miles  to  Montrose,  where  I  preach- 
ed with  ease,  having  nearly  lost  my  sore  throat  and  cold.  Yes- 
terday we  travelled  about  36  miles,  and  got  here  about  six  in 
the  evening.  I  was  engaged  till  ten  in  waiting  on  the  ministers, 
Professors,  8cc.  I  am  to  preach  at  one  place  in  the  afternoon, 
and  in  the  evening  at  another.  Here  is  a  little  company  of 
Baptists,  who  beg  I  would  be  with  them  in  the  morning.  This 
city  contains  about  26,000  people.  Professor  Kidd,  and  Pro- 
fessor Bentley,  who  called  to  see  me  when  I  was  ill  in  1801, 
are  very  cordial  ;  and  so  is  Mr.  Doig,  a  clergyman.  When 
the  day  is  over  I  will  add  a  little  more.  I  feel  better  this 
morning  than  when  I  set  out ;  so  good  has  the  Lord  been  in 
proportioning  my  strength  to  such  a  series  of  labour,  as  made 
me  almost  despair  to  look  at  them.  I  have  also  to  be  very 
thankful  that  in  all  places  I  have  met  with  nothing  but  kind* 
ness.  I  have  been  able  to  heal  some  differences ;  and  to  suc- 
ceed in  collecting  beyond  all  expectation.  Hitherto  the  Lord 
2-4 


I8t>  MEMOIRS    OF 

hath  helped,  and  I  hope  he  has  preserved  my  dear  family  and 
Christian  friends.  On  Monday  I  spent  the  forenoon  with  some 
Baptist  friends :  in  the  afternoon  and  evening  preached  and 
collected  at  the  Independent  places.  This  morning  at  six,  I 
baptized  three  persons  ;  1  am  to  go  forty  miles  and  preach  at 
Brechin  to-night.  „ 

"Perth,  July  15,  1805. — I  am  considerably  better  in  health 
than  when  I  set  out.  Riding  yesterday  through  a  charming 
part  of  the  country,  with  Dr.  and  Miss  S.  we  could  not  help 
wishing  much  for  your  company.  I  travel  about  forty  miles  a 
day,  and  preach  and  collect  every  night." 

[The  next  letter  is  wanting.] 

"  Lancaster,  Aug.  1,  1805. — The  last  letter  I  wrote  you  was 
from  Glasgow,  Tuesday  July  23.  Since  then  I  have  preached 
and  collected  at  Paisley,  Greenock,  Saltcoats,  Kilmarnock, 
Killwinning,  Ayr,  and  Dumfries.  I  am  now  on  my  way  to  Liv- 
erpool. I  have  not  been  in  bed  till  to-night,  since  Lord's  day 
night  at  Irvine  in  Scotland,  I  have  felt  my  strength  and  spirits 
much  exhausted,  yet  hitherto  the  Lord  hath  helped,  and  my 
health  is  good.  I  feel  not  a  little  pleasure  in  drawing  near 
home.  I  shall  be  at  Mr.  W.  Hope's,  Liverpool ;  at  Mr.  Robt. 
Speare's,  Manchester ;  at  the  Yorkshire  annual  meeting  per- 
haps, at  Leeds,  on  Wednesday,  Aug.  7 ;  at  Ewood  Hall  on 
Thursday  ;  and  if  I  do  not  stop  at  Cosely,  shall  be  at  Kettering 
on  Saturday." 

From  Liverpool  he  wrote  thus  to  Dr.  Stuart.  "  The  remem- 
brance of  your  kindness  and  of  all  that  passed  between  us,  oc- 
cupies much  of  my  time  when  alone ;  but  that  I  have  not 
been  since  between  Ayr  and  Cumnack.  I  know  not  how  to  ex- 
press my  obligations.  The  pleasure  of  the  journey  will  not 
soon  be  forgotten  ;  but  the  heavy  tax  on  your  friendship  takes 
from  it,  and  must  furnish  an  objection  to  its  being  repeated. 
On  Lord's  day  morning,  I  am  to  preach  for  Mr.  Davis ;  after- 
noon, for  Mr.  Lister ;  evening,  for  Mr.  Davis,  when  both  congre- 
gations are  to  be  united. 

"  Aug.  5. — Your  estimation  of  my  company,  preaching,  &c. 
must  be  placed  to  the  account  of  the  partiality  of  friendship 


MR.    FULLER.  187 

I  have  upon  the  whole,  enjoyed  a  greater  share  of  happiness 
and  brotherly  kindness  in  Scotland,  than  perhaps  I  ever  did  be- 
fore  ;  no  small  part  of  which  was  from  my  companions  in  travel. 
If  I  have  sometimes  been  a  little  severe  on  the  Northern  heresy, 
I  am  somewhat  more  at  rest  about  it,  in  that  it  was  principally 
confined  to  our  travelling  conversations  ;  that  is,  it  was  between 
ourselves.  My  language  is,  as  you  know,  often  too  strong  ; 
though  whether  it  was  so  when  pointed  against  the  heresy  in 
question,  I  do  not  know.  I  collected  £85.  here,  on  Friday  and 
Saturday.  Last  night  there  was  a  public  collection,  but  I  have 
not  learnt  the  amount.  This  forenoon  I  set  off  for  Manchester. 
The  amount  at  Liverpool  is  £132.  which  is  £50.  more  than  last 
time." 

His  fourth  journey  was  in  1 808.  On  September  the  30th, 
he  writes  from  Brigg,  twelve  miles  south  of  Barton.  He  had 
travelled  sixty  miles  on  Wednesday,  and  preached  for  Mr. 
Nichols,  at  Long  Collingham,  who  went  with  him  on  Thurs- 
day to  Lincoln  ;  whence  he  went  on  to  Brigg,  in  a  chaise,  with 
two  gentlemen,  the  mail  being  full.  Here  he  met  with  a  friend 
from  Hull,  in  conversation  with  whom,  about  the  continent, 
which  he  visited  some  years  since,  on  account  of  trade,  "  I 
learned,  (says  Mr.  FJ  something  of  the  righteous  acts  of  the 
Lord.  His  visit  was  in  1803,  when  there  was  peace.  At  that 
time  he  said  the  Hamburghers  had  a  good  stroke  of  trade,  in 
common  with  their  neighbours  ;  but  having  been  used  to  the 
privilege  of  neutrality  in  all  wars,  at  which  time  they  engrossed 
nearly  all  the  trade  to  themselves,  they  were  not  satisfied. 
Their  language  then  was,  c  Let  us  have  a  good  war,  and  then 
we  shall  have  the  trade  of  the  world.'  They  have  had  a  war, 
and  it  has  proved  their  ruin  !  But  what  a  picture  or  sketch 
does  it  give  of  human  nature  !  Selfishness  is  a  gulf  that  swal- 
lows up  every  feeling  of  equity  and  mercy.  And  what  a  change 
is  left  for  the  gospel  to  produce  in  christianized  Europe. 

"  At  the  last  stage  between  Lincoln  and  this  place,  I  took  up 
a  book  to  read.  It  was  a  Life  of  Oliver  Cromwell.  The  au- 
thor would  not  believe  that  he  was  such  a  fool  as  to  believe  any 
thing  about  regeneration  and  grace  ;  but  supposed  that  all  he 


188  MEMOIRS    OF 

said  about  these  things  was  only  talking  to  people  in  their  owu 
way :  '  for,  (said  he,)  Cromwell  was  well  educated,  and  read 
much !'  Another  sketch  of  human  nature  as  depraved-  O, 
my  dear,  what  a  blessed  thing  it  is  for  us  to  have  been  delivered 
from  these  delusions,  and  taught  to  know  the  only  true  God 
and  Jesus  Christ,  whom  he  has  sent.  God  be  thanked  that 
we  were  servants  of  sin,  but  we  have  obeyed  from  the  heart 
that  form  of  doctrine  into  which  we  were  delivered. 

"  Barton,  near  twelve  at  noon. — I  have  got  to  preach  to 
night  at  Hull ;  but  shall  not  be  able  to  sail  till  between  three 
and  four.  Here  is  a  Prussian  in  the  room,  who  speaks  broken 
English,  f.  l  What  countryman  ?'  P.  *  A  Prussian.'  P. 
<  Why — are  we  not  at  war  ?'  P.  4  O  no  :  no  Prussian  like  war 
with  England  :  it  is  all  force.'  Thus  they  come  and  trade,  in 
spite  of  Buonaparte  and  his  decrees. 

"Hull,  Oct.  1 Arrived  here  last  night  at  six  :  at  seven 

preached  and  collected.  On  going  to  my  lodgings,  a  pamphlet 
was  put  into  my  hands,  which  I  found  to  be  a  Socinian  Maga- 
zine, containing  a  letter  addressed  to  me,  by  a  minister  of  that 
stamp,  who  resides  in  this  town  :  it  is  full  of  pretty  heavy 
charges,  but  cpncludes  with  the  offer  of  his  mite  to  our  treas- 
ury, if  called  upon.  So  I  waited  upon  him  this  morning,  partly 
to  receive  his  mite,  and  partly  to  justify  myself  from  his  charges. 
I  took  two  friends  with  me,  and  came  away  with  a  whole  skin, 
and  a  guinea  for  the  Mission.  Monday. — Have  had  a  good 
night,  after  the  labours  of  yesterday,  when  I  preached  at  three 
places.  Trade  is  very  flat;  so  that  if  I  getjClOO.it  will  be  as 
much  as  I  expect. — This  I  have  got,  and  have  taken  my  place 
to  go  to  York  to-morrow  morning." 

"  Alnwick,  Oct.  6,  1808. — I  have  not  been  able  to  touch  pen 
or  paper  since  I  left  Hull.  On  Tuesday,  at  twelve  o'clock,  I 
reached  York.  I  had  consented  to  preach  there,  in  the  Baptist 
place,  and  they  circulated  printed  handbills,  to  give  information. 
I  suppose  we  had  near  1000  hearers.  After  sermon,  being  re- 
quested, I  administered  the  Lord's  supper  ;  many  churchmen 
^tayed  as  spectators.  At  twelve  o'clock  that  night  1  set  off  for 
Newcastle,  where  I  arrived  the  next  day  at  noon,  and  preached, 
:n  the  evening,  when  £28.  was  collected  for  the  Translation., 


MR.   FULLER.  189 

Set  off  at  five  in  the  morning  for  Alnwick,  and  arrived  here 
by  ten. 

"  I  was  told  at  Hull,  that  they  had  been  informed  that  we 
wished  for  an  annual  meeting  for  the  Mission  in  London,  but 
that  Mr.  Booth  opposed  it.  Whereas  the  fact  is,  that  the  pro- 
posal did  not  originate  with  us ;  and  when  I  found  it  opposed  by 
some,  I  dissuaded  others  from  insisting  on  it.  And  as  to  Mr. 
Booth,  though  it  is  true  he  was  not  for  the  meeting,  yet  it  was 
for  this  reason  :  lest  the  opulent  friends  there  should  by  degrees 
assume  the  power,  which,  he  said,  he  thought  was  as  well  em- 
ployed where  it  was. 

"  I  feel  weary  of  the  last  three  days  work,  in  which  I  have 
travelled  one  hundred  and  fifty  miles,  and  preached  every  night ; 
yet  I  am  quite  well.  I  collected  about  £30.  this  evening. 

"  I  arrived  at  Berwick  about  two  o'clock  :  preached  in  a  Re- 
lief meeting,  (Mr.  Thompson's,)  and  collected  about  £20.  Af- 
ter supper  took  the  mail  for  Edinburgh,  where  I  arrived  at 
six  on  Saturday  morning.  To-day  I  have  waited  on  almost  all 
the  ministers  of  my  acquaintance.  I  preach  to-morrow  for  Mr. 
Anderson  in  the  morning,  and  Mr.  Aikman  in  the  evening.  The 
Memoir  of  the  Translations  has  made  a  strong  impression.  Dr. 
Stuart  has  reprinted  it.  I  have  collected  about  £200.  in  Eng- 
land and  '  our  town  of  Berwick-upon-Tweed.'  My  week  is 
about  filled  for  dining  and  preaching.  My  work  opens  on 
every  hand.  I  must  go,  I  believe,  to  Aberdeen  ;  but  I  am  well, 
and  shall,  I  trust,  be  carried  through." 

"  Edinburgh,  Oct.  14,  1808. — This  has  been  a  week  of  great 
labour  and  fatigue,  attended  with  no  end  of  visiting.  On  Tues- 
day forenoon  I  attended  the  ordination  of  Mr.  Innes,  over  a 
part  of  James  Haldane's  people,  who  meet  in  Bernard's 
Rooms.  Mr.  Ewing  of  Glasgow,  and  Mr.  Aikman  preached. 
In  the  evening  I  preached  at  Dalkeith.  On  Wednesday,  at 
twelve  o'clock,  I  preached  at  the  Magdalene  Asylum,  where 
a  number  of  females  were  concealed  behind  a  curtain.  I  felt 
much  on  the  occasion.  I  went  to  dine  with  Mr.  James  Hal- 
dane,  and  in  the  evening  preached  for  him.  A  change  has 
taken  place,  which  reminded  me  of  that  mentioned  in  1  Kings 
xiv.  26,  27.  when  the  shields  of  gold  were  exchanged  for 


190  MEMOIRS    OF 

shields  of  brass.     But  I  shall  say  nothing  yet After 

showing  him  a  little  more  kindness,  I  intend  to  tell  him  all 
my  heart.  Yesterday  Mr.  Robert  Haldane  has  sent  to  invite 
me  to  dine  with  him,  with  which  I  shall  comply.  My  concern 
is  to  be  kind  to  all  parties  in  order  to  do  them  good.  This 
evening  I  heard  Mr.  Anderson  at  his  place  ;  many  came  ex- 
pecting to  hear  me,  but  I  had  a  head-ache  all  day,  and  there- 
fore declined  it.  Here  I  saw  Mr.  James  Haldane,  and  walked 
home  with  him,  and  told  him  all  my  heart ;  entreating  him  to 
consider,  that  he  was  fallible ;  that  he  had  been  as  positive  about 
Paedobaptism,  as  he  now  was  about  exhortation,  discipline,  and 
the  kiss ;  that  I  strongly  suspect  that  it  was  one  of  Satan's  de- 
vices to  draw  his  attention  to  these  little  things,  (like  the  tub 
which  they  throw  out  for  the  whale,)  to  divert  him  from  attack- 
ing his  kingdom,  &c.  He  took  all  well.  I  should  have  men- 
tioned that  I  preached  to-day,  at  twelve  o'clock,  at  a  Burgher 
meeting,  (Mr.  Hall's)  and  collected  £ 65.  13s.  Jlrf. 

"Friday,  Oct.  14. — Last  night  I  was  very  ill  with  a  cold, 
bathed  my  feet  in  warm  water,  shut  myself  up  this  morning, 
which  is  snowy,  wet,  and  cold,  declining  all  visits  and  company, 
and  nursing  myself  as  well  as  I  can. 

«  Lord's  day,  Oct.  1 6. — When  I  wrote  the  above  I  was  not 
without  apprehension  that  I  should  be  stopped  in  my  progress 
by  illness.  I  was  under  Dr.  Stuart's  directions  all  the  forenoon  j 
but  dreaded  what  I  had  to  do  in  the  afternoon — in  a  cold  rainy 
day,  to  go  to  Haddington,  sixteen  miles,  and  preach  in  the  even- 
}ng-  But  going  in  a  post-chaise  I  took  no  harm,  and  am  now 
nearly  well.  Yesterday  I  dined  with  Mr.  R.  Haldane.  His 
brother  James  was  with  us.  We  had  only  general  talk  about 
the  Mission,  but  when  I  came  away  James  walked  with  me> 
and  we  had  much  more  talk,  in  which  I  pleaded  for  the  course 
in  which  he  once  walked.  He  is  desirous  of  more  conversa- 
tion. I  never  was  so  hurried  in  Edinburgh  before.  The  col- 
lections amount  already  in  Scotland  to  near  £200.  I  have  yet 
to  collect  at  Mr.  Anderson's  this  afternoon,  at  Mr.  Aikman's 
in  the  evening,  and  on  Tuesday  at  a  Burgher  meeting.  A  col- 
lection will  also  be  made  at  the  Tabernacle,  but  it  will  be  by 
themselves  as  a  church^  judging  it  unlawful,  it  seems,  to  '  take 


MB.    FULLER. 

any  thing  of  the  Gentiles,'  which  passage  I  should  understand 
of  new  converts  from  heathenism  ;  but  they,  it  seems,  apply  it 
to  their  own  unconverted  hearers.  Besides  them,  Mr.  M'Lean's 
people  will  probably  raise  £50.  or  £60.  in  their  own  way. 

"  Monday,  Oct.  17. — A  great  day's  work  yesterday.  Preached 
for  Mr.  Innes  to  800,  at  Mr.  Anderson's  to  500,  at  Mr.  Aik- 
inan's  to  about  1,800.  Collected  in  the  day  above  £200.  I  am 
much  better  than  could  be  expected,  only  my  voice  a  little 
rough." 

Dr.  Stuart,  who  wrote  a  few  lines  to  Mrs.  Fuller  in  this  let- 
ter, observes,  "  Differing  from  one  another,  all  Christians  agree 
in  helping  this  cause." 

"  Edinburgh,  Oct.  18,  1808. — It  is  truly  astonishing  to  see 
the  effects  produced  by  the  Memoir,  of  which  Dr.  Stuart  had 
printed  a  new  edition  of  a  thousand  before  I  arrived.  Mr.  J. 
Haldane,  with  whom  I  have  had  two  or  three  debates,  but  in 
vain,  gave  me  their  collection,  which  was  £200.  Nearly  £100. 
more  was  collected  on  Lord's  day  evening,  at  Mr.  Aikman's, 
and  £40.  the  same  day,  at  Mr.  Anderson's.  This  evening  I 
preach  for  Mr.  Lothian,  a  Burgher  Seceder.  To-morrow 
morning  I  go  for  the  north.  May  the  Lord  give  me  strength 
for  the  work.  Think  upon  me,  O  my  God,  for  good  !  I  am 
concerned  to  hear  of  my  dear  Brother  SutclifFs  affliction.  This 
family  desire  their  love  to  him.  I  think  my  visit  has  raised  their 
spirits.  The  Dr.  has  been  so  blessedly  busy,  that  he  has  had  no 
time  to  pore  over  other  things.  He  fears  his  depression  will  re- 
turn when  I  am  gone.  I  feel  a  great  deal  better  than  I  was.'" 

«  Aberdeen,  Oct.  22,  1808. — It  is  some  satisfaction  that  I  am 
now  at  the  farthest  distance,  and  all  my  future  movements  will 
be  towards  home.  I  left  Edinburgh  on  Wednesday,  with  Mr. 
Anderson,  who  accompanies  me.  I  preached  that  night  at 
Perth,  next  evening  at  Dundee.  Got  here  this  morning  in  good 
health.  Drank  tea  with  a  large  circle  of  religious  friends.  We 
slept  at  Dundee,  at  the  house  of  a  very  agreeable  clergyman,  a 
Mr.  Thompson  ;  and  preached  at  a  Burgher  meeting  to  a 
crowded  house,  In  all  places  in  Scotland,  hitherto,  the  colleo 


192  MEMOIRS    OF 

tions  have  considerably  exceeded  any  thing  heretofore ;  and 
though  I  have  plainly  and  freely  remonstrated  to  Mr.  Haldane 
against  his  late  measures,  yet  we  met  and  parted  kindly  ;  and  as 
to  all  others,  I  have  met  with  nothing  but  the  most  affectionate 
treatment.  I  am  to  preach  three  times  to-morrow,  in  three  dif- 
ferent places,  collecting  at  each. 

"  Tuesday  morning. — After  preaching  at  Aberdeen  on  Lord's 
day,  and  collecting  between  £80.  and  £90.  we  set  off  yesterday 
morning,  and  returned  to  Dundee,  by  ten  o'clock,  posting  sixty  - 
eight  miles.  I  am  very  weary,  and  have  a  sick  head-ache. 
We  shall  cross  the  Tay  in  about  an  hour,  and  go  on  to  Kirkal- 
dy,  where  I  am  to  preach  this  evening.  To-morrow  I  shall 
have  to  preach  twice  ;  namely,  at  Inverkeithing,  for  good  Eben. 
ezer  Brown  ;  and  at  Dunfermline,  for  Messrs.  Husband  and 
M'Farlane,  at  Ralph  Erskine's  place, 

"Glasgow, Friday,  Oct.  28. — We  have  had  a  terrible  wet  and 
stormy  week.  We  crossed  the  Tay  amidst  wind  and  rain,  and 
the  fears  of  good  Dr.  S.  and  others  for  us ;  but  we  were  all  safe, 
and  reached  Kirkaldy,  though  not  till  after  the  people  were  as- 
sembled. All  day  on  Wednesday  it  blew  almost  a  tempest, 
but  I  got  comfortably  through  my  work  of  preaching,  at  Inver- 
keithing, and  at  Dunfermline  to  upwards  of  2000  people.  Yes- 
terday morning  the  wind  abated  ;  I  crossed  the  Forth  in  safety, 
and  reached  this  place  very  well.  It  is  surprising  how  God 
hath  prospered  my  way." 

*'  Glasgow,  Oct.  31,  1808 — I  preached  on  Friday  evening  to 
about  1000  people,  when  they  began  their  collections.  Yester- 
day I  preached  at  Mr.  Wardlaw's  in  the  morning,  and  in  the 
evening  for  Mr.  Ewing,  resting  in  the  afternoon.  The  collec- 
tion at  the  former  place  was  £  140.  at  the  latter  £163.  About 
4000  people  were  out  in  the  evening,  who  all  heard  distinctly. 
The  interest,  affection,  and  liberality  of  the  people  here  is  over- 
whelming. They  want  a  promise  to  come  every  two  years.  I 
have  not  given  it  however.  To-night  I  preach  at  Paisley,  and 
then  return  hither,  where  I  am  to  preach  three  more  sermons 
among  the  Seceders,  and  the  church.  They  have  got  me  a 
Chapel  of  Ease,  which  belongs  to  the  Kirk,  for  Wednesday 
evening.  It  is  very  large,  though  not  equal  to  Mr.  E wing's- 


MR.    FULLER.  193 

«  Glasgow,  Wednesday,  Nov.  2. — Yesterday  I  returned  from 
Paisley,  where  on  Monday  evening  they  collected  £114.  Last 
night  I  preached  here,  and  had  a  smaller  collection  at  a  Burgh- 
er meeting,  of  between  £ 30.  and  £40.  To-day  I  visit  all  among 
the  Church  of  Scotland,  and  preach  at  the  Chapel  of  Ease  at 
night.  My  health  is  pretty  good." 

Mr.  Fuller's  fifth  and  last  journey  to  Scotland  was  in  1813. 
"Carlisle,  July  1,  1813.— -On  Monday,  June  the  28th,  I 
reached  Nottingham,  and  then  rode  outside  to  Chesterfield,  and 
then  within  the  coach  for  forty  miles,  to  Leeds,  where  I  ar- 
rived at  five  in  the  morning,  went  to  bed  and  slept  well  for  three 
or  four  hours. 

ft  Tuesday,  29. — After  calling  on  a  few  friends  in  Leeds,  set 
off  for  Bradford,  by  way  of  Fulneck,  where  I  stopped  an  hour. 
Saw  two  German  Missionaries,  waiting  to  go  out.  Mr.  Ramft- 
ler,  late  of  Bedford,  is  the  presiding  minister.  On  reaching 
Bradford,  I  expected  Mr.  Steadman  would  have  been  ready  to 
go  with  me  ;  but  found  he  was  not  expected  till  next  evening, 
from  London.  I  consented  to  give  them  a  sermon,  and  deter- 
mined to  set  off  though  alone,  next  morning. 

"  Wednesday,  June  30. — Took  coach  from  Bradford  to  Ken- 
dal,  sixty-six  miles  :  passed  through  a  dreary  part  of  Yorkshire, 
by  Keighley,  Shipton,  and  Settle  :  about  fourteen  miles  beyond 
we  entered  Westmoreland,  and  proceeded  to  Kendal,  where  we 
arrived  about  nine,  glad  during  so  wet  a  day  to  have  been  with- 
inside.  After  tea,  I  found  out  Mr.  Key,  a  Baptist  minister,  who 
with  his  wife  appear  very  serious,  godly,  and  intelligent  people, 
I  much  enjoyed  half  an  hour  with  them.  The  good  woman 
seemed  hardly  to  believe  that  I  could  be  the  Mr.  Fuller  that  had 
written  so  many  books  ?  Bespoke  a  place  in  the  mail,  but  found 
it  full  when  it  came  in  at  four  o'clock  on  Thursday  morning 
July  1.  So  I  ventured  to  go  on  the  outside,  but  by  six  it  began 
to  rain,  and  never  ceased  till  we  got  to  Carlisle,  about  twelve 
A  miserable  journey  over  the  bleak  Westmoreland  and  Cum- 
berland mountains ;  many  of  which  had  their  tops  enveloped  in 
the  clouds.  The  wind  and  rain  beat  all  the  way  in  my  face, 
hut  the  guard  lending  me  his  umbrella,  I  was  not  wet  through. 
25 


194  MEMOIRS    OF 

I  have  taken  a  place  for  Dumfries,  on  condition  I  can  go  with- 
inside" ;  if  not  I  shall  stay  till  to-morrow.  I  have  hardly  been 
so  uncomfortably  cold  as  to  clay,  since  I  crossed  these  uncom- 
fortable moot  s  five  years  ago,  in  my  way  home  from  Scotland. 
If  I  escape  taking  cold,  I  hope  to  make  two  uses  of  it,  [I.] 
Of  encouragement,  as  it  will  be  an  indication  of  my  being  less 
susceptible  of  cold  than  heretofore.  [2.]  Of  caution,  not  to  ven- 
ture riding  on  the  outside  again  during  the  journey,  at  leasl 
while  the  weather  is  so  uncertain. 

u  Dumfries,  Friday,  July  2,  1813. — I  got  an  inside  place  yes- 
terday, and  reached  this  place  comfortably  at  nine ;  the  distance 
is  forty  miles ;  put  my  feet  in  warm  water  before  going  to  bed, 
and  had  a  good  night.  I  feel  somewhat  affected  on  my  lungs? 
but  hope  it  will  go  off.  I  have  very  comfortable  accommoda- 
tions at  Mr.  Barry's,  an  opulent  farmer.  He  is  an  Independent, 
and  his  wife  a  Baptist.  They  are  godly  people.  I  shall  stay 
here  over  Lord's  day." 

"  Greenock,  July  10,  1813. — On  Lord's  day,  Brethren  Stead- 
man  and  Barclay  met  me  at  Dumfries,  and  we  had  a  pleasant 
day.  On  Monday  we  all  three  travelled  to  Ayr,  a  large  county 
town  on  the  sea  coast.  Here  are  a  few  serious  good  people  : 
but  very  few.  Socinianism  long  had  a  deadly  influence  here, 
in  the  preaching  of  Dr.  M'-Gill,  who  is  now  dead.  Our  col- 
lections at  Dumfries  amounted  to  £42.  but  were  only  £5.  at 
Ayr.  In  travelling  from  Ayr  to  Kilmarnock,  on  Tuesday,  we 
stopped  to  call  on  a  minister  of  the  Establishment,  Mr.  Oughter- 
son  of  Monkton  ;  but  he  was  so  ill  that  we  could  not  see  him. 
I  afterwards  received  a  letter,  enclosing  a  guinea,  expressing 
his  deep  regret  that  he  was  prevented  seeing  me.  I  was  told 
that  he  lately  became  evangelical,  through  reading  some  of  my 
publications.  On  Tuesday  evening,  to  our  surprise,  we  saw  Mr. 
Dyer  come  into  the  place  of  worship  :  he  left  Plymouth  the  day 
before  my  letter,  sent  to  inform  him  of  Mr.  Steadman's  accom- 
panying me,  arrived.  Seeing  both  these  brethren  were  here, 
we  planned  to  make  the  best  use  we  could  of  them,  for  two  or 
three  weeks,  through  the  thickest  of  the  work  ;  and  then  to  let 
them  return,  while  I  go  clown  to  Inverness  and  Tarn  by  myself 


MR.    FULLER.  195 

We  had  pretty  good  collections  at  Kilmarnock,  Irvine,  Beith, 
and  Saltcoats,  at  each  of  which  places  we  had  a  double  lecture  ', 
so  that  I  preached  only  a  short  sermon,  and  told  the  Mis- 
sion tale.  At  Saltcoats  we  were  in  the  church.  Yesterday  I 
only  preached  to  a  small  audience  of  Baptists  in  the  afternoon, 
and  in  the  evening  to  a  large  auditory  of  above  two  thousand 
people  ;  when  I  had  enough  to  do  to  get  through  so  as  to  be 
heard.  Mr.  Dyer  preached  twice  at  other  places  in  Greenock, 
and  Mr.  Steadman  went  to  spend  the  Lord's  day  at  Paisley, 
where  I  am  to  preach  to-morrow  evening  for  Mr.  Burns,  in  his 
church. — Greenock  contains  about  twenty  thousand  people,  hall 
of  which  number  attend  public  worship.  The  evangelical  min- 
isters are,  Dr.  Scott  in  the  Kirk  ;  Mr,  Auld  at  the  Relief  meet- 
ing, where  I  preached  and  collected  last  night ;  Mr.  Wilson  at 
the  Burgher  meeting,  where  Mr.  Dyer  preached  and  collected 
at  the  same  .time  ;  and  Mr.  Harcusthe  Independent,  where  Mr. 
Dyer  preached  and  collected  in  the  morning.  They  did  great 
things  here  for  the  fire.  We  every  where  meet  with  the  highest 
esteem,  as  agents  for  the  Mission  and  Translations.  The  col. 
lections  here  and  at  Port  Glasgow  have  been  about  £66. 

"Glasgow,  July  16,  1813. — The  weather  continues  rainy, 
which  is  against  me.  Yet  I  have  stood  it  pretty  well.  1  preach- 
ed on  Tuesday  evening  in  Mr.  Burns's  church,  formerly  Dr. 
Witherspoon's,  where  our  collections  amounted  to  £70.  Much 
respect  is  shown  to  our  Mission  by  all  parties  ;  I  should  not 
wonder  if  the  churches  of  evangelical  ministers  were  generally 
open  to  us,  in  a  little  time.  The  kindness  of  friends  here  is 
almost  overwhelming.  It  deprives  me  of  all  time  for  writing, 
except  early  in  the  morning.  Brother  Steadman  leaves  Glas- 
gow to-day,  for  Edinburgh,  where  he  spends  next  Lord's  day, 
while  Brother  Dyer  and  I  remain  at  Glasgow." 

"Glasgow,  July  19,  1813. — I  leave  this  place  to-morrow  for 
Stirling,  where  Dr.  Stuart  meets  me.  Mr.  Steadman  returns 
home  from  Edinburgh,  this  week.  Mr.  Dyer  goes  with  me  and 
Dr.  Stuart  to  Inverness.  I  have  preached  sixteen  times.  My 
voice  holds  out  pretty  well.  It  seems  rather  the  better  for  use  ; 
and  my  health  on  the  whole  is  very  good.  We  had  nearly 


196  MEMOIRS    OF 

three  thousand  hearers  last  night  at  Mr.  Ewing's.     Enclosed 
is  a  bill  of  £500." 

"  Inverness,  July  25,  1813. — Here  I  am,  through  the  good- 
ness of  God,  and  pretty  well,  considering  the  wet  weather  we 
have  had  in  travelling  through  the  Highlands.  Yesterday  it 
rained  all  day.  To-day  the  preaching  must  be  principally  out 
of  doors.  Dr.  S.  was  prevented  joining  us  by  illness.  Mr. 
Dyer  is  very  helpful.  Mr.  M'Leod,  a  Baptist  minister  from 
Crieff,  is  also  with  us,  and  we  expect  Brother  C.  Anderson  on 
Monday. 

"  This  morning  at  half  past  seven  I  preached  in  the  open  air 
to  a  few  hundreds.  At  eleven  heard  Mr.  M'Leod  at  the  Meth- 
odist chapel.  At  twelve  Mr.  Dyer  took  the  field,  and  at  half 
past  six  I  preached  out  of  doors. 

*'  At  half  past  twelve  Mr.  Dyer  preached  out  of  doors,  at 
three  o'clock  it  began  raining  heavily.  I  know  not  what  we  can 
do  for  the  evening  sermon,  unless  they  lend  us  the  church. 
This  the  bigotry  of  the  Inverness  clergy  will  not  grant.  I  should 
not  have  wished  for  it  but  for  the  rain. 

"  Eight  o'clock.  Well,  the  weather  has  been  fair,  and  we 
have  done  very  well  out  of  doors.  We  had  a  large  audience, 
and  the  clergy  themselves  were  in  it,  though  they  would  not 
grant  us  the  use  of  the  church. 

11  Wednesday.—-!  have  been  to  Dingwall,  and  found  much 
kind  treatment  from  Mr.  and  Mrs.  Stewart :  returned  to  Inver- 
ness yesterday,  and  preached  last  night.  Mr.  Anderson  is  just 
arrived  from  the  Isle  of  Skye.  We  leave  Inverness  to-day,  for 
Nairn,  and  so  on  for  Elgin,  Bamff,  Aberdeen,  on  Lord's  day  ; 
Montrose,  Arbroath,  Dundee,  and  Edinburgh. — Every  day  now 
brings  me  nearer  home." 

"  Aberdeen,  Aug.  2,1813. — I  am  now  going  to  Montrose 
and  have  a  great  deal  more  before  me — Arbroath,  Dundee, 
Cupar  of  Fife,  Kirkaldy,  Edinburgh,  Leith,  Musselburgh,  Had- 
dington,  Dunbar,  Berwick,  Alnwick,  and  Newcastle." 

The  detail  throughout  this  journal  is  very  brief.  He  men- 
tions little  more  indeed,  except  the  names  of  several  persons 
with  whose  character,  conversation,  and  kindness  he  was  par- 
ticularly pleased. 


MR.  FULLER.  197 

»'  Aug.  3,  1813, — Arrived  at  Arbroath,  a  town  on  the  Eastern 
coast,  of  about  9000  inhabitants.  Mr.  Penman,  the  Independ- 
ent minister,  is  a  fine,  friendly  character,  full  of  heart.  I 
preached  in  the  evening  to  about  700  people." 

«  Dundee,  Aug.  4. — Just  arrived  here,  and  met  Mr.  Chalmers 
of  Kilmany,  an  extraordinary  writer.  It  is  said,  that  being 
lately  engaged  to  draw  up  an  article  in  the  Scotch  Encyclopedia, 
on  Christianity,  the  writing  of  that  paper  became  the  means  of 
thoroughly  impressing  his  own  heart  with  evangelical  truth." 

"  Cupar  of  Fife,  Aug.  5. — Crossed  the  Tay  at  six  this  morn- 
ing :  breakfasted  with  good  old  Dr.  M'Culloch  of  Dairsie, 
whose  father  was  so  useful  at  Cambuslang,  in  Mr.  W bitfield's 
days.  Here  we  met  with  Mr.  Paton,  an  Independent  minister, 
of  St.  Andrews,  a  very  worthy  man.  There  are  about  eighty 
churches  of  this  denomination  in  Scotland,  the  wreck  of  Mr. 
Haldane's  connexion  :  but  they  are  beginning  to  recover  the 
shock  they  sustained.— To-night  we  go,  after  preaching,  to  sleep 
at  Mr.  Chalmer's  house,  at  Kilmany." 

On  Saturday  noon  he  arrived  at  Edinburgh,  where  he  expect- 
ed to  stay  about  ten  days. 

I  have  given  the  preceding  sketch  of  his  journeys  into  Scot- 
land in  succession.  But  shall  now  go  back  to  notice  some  other 
instances  of  his  prudent  and  diligent  exertions  on  behalf  of  our 
Mission. 

When  we  were  informed,  in  April  1 807,  of  some  very  un- 
pleasant restrictions  laid  upon  our  brethren  in  India,  respecting 
their  labours  among  the  natives ;  Mr.  Fuller  went  to  London, 
and  obtained  an  interview  with  several  persons  of  rank  and  in- 
fluence, by  whose  advice  he  pursued  the  wisest  measures  for 
their  security.  It  would  be  improper  to  detail  particulars ; 
but  few  men  could  have  acted  with  equal  prudence  and  firmness 
in  these  affairs.  In  June  he  was  obliged  to  take  a  second 
journey  to  town  on  the  same  business  He  then  drew  up  a 
statement,  which  was  presented  to  the  Directors  of  the  East 
India  Company,  the  members  of  the  Board  of  Control,  and 
other  persons  of  consequence,  who  were  likely  to  favour  the 
propagation  of  Christianity,  and  the  cause  of  religious  liberty. 


198  MEMOIRS    OF 

I  omit  extracts  from  many  long  letters  which  I  received  from 
him  about  this  time  respecting  the  Mission,  as  being  either  of  too 
private  a  nature,  or  already  known  by  the  Periodical  Accounts. 

On  October  8,  he  was  again  in  town,  on  his  way  to  Maiden, 
Witham,  and  Norwich.  He  travelled  400  miles,  preached  six- 
teen times  in  about  as  many  days,  and  collected  about  £  130.  In 
London  he  had  an  interview  with  several  respectable  gentlemen, 
and  laboured  hard  to  obtain  redress  of  some  intolerant  meas- 
ures, both  in  Jamaica  and  India. 

In  December  he  was  called  up  again.  He  wrote  to  me  thus  on 
the  18th: — *' The  war  with  the  Mission  is  renewed.  A  Mr- 
Twining  has  written  a  pamphlet  against  us,  and  means  to  call  a 
court  of  Proprietors.  It  is  a  strong  effort  of  the  enemies  of 
Christianity  to  ruin  the  Mission.  The  religious  body  in  London 
are  all  on  the  alert.  Mr.  Owen  has  answered  Twining  as  far 
as  concerns  the  Bible  Society.  Our  friends  in  the  Direction 
and  the  Board  of  Control,  are  publicly  attacked  by  name. 
They  will  do  their  best.  But  they  want  some  able  pens  to  an- 
swer Twining.  I  have  sent  the  piece  and  a  letter  of  request 
to  Messrs.  H.  and  F.  but  they  tell  me,  '  You  must  write  on  the 
subject.  We  want  to  have  the  public  mind  impressed  in  our 
favour.  The  more  good  writers  the  better.'  I  have  shut  my- 
self up  yesterday  and  the  day  before,  and  have  done  something 
towards  an  answer  to  T.  and  to  another  piece  since  come  out. 

"  Dec.  23 — The  threatened  motion  has  been  this  day  made 
in  a  general  Court  of  Proprietors.  I  was  present,  and  heard  the 
whole/* 

I  omit  transcribing  particulars,  as  this  opposition  is  now 
abated,  and  I  do  not  wish  to  give  unnecessary  pain,  even  to 
those  who  have  acted  an  unfriendly  part  towards  us.  We  would 
bless  God  for  raising  up  firm  and  able  friends,  and  frustrating 
the  efforts  of  those  who  were  then  desirous  to  suppress  all  at- 
tempts to  spread  the  gospel  in  India.  His  counsel  shall  stand, 
and  he  will  do  all  his  pleasure.  We  trust  that  all  his  enemies 
shall  be  obliged  to  say  of  India,  as  of  Europe  at  the  time  of  the 
Reformation.  "  The  candle  is  lighted,  and  we  cannot  put  it 
out."  At  this  time  the  motion  in  our  favour  was  carried  by  a 
show  of  hands  of  two  to  one. 


MR.    FULLER. 

In  1808  he  was  much  employed  in  the  same  contest  with  the 
enemies  of  our  Mission,  arc!  of  all  other  attempts  to  spread  the 
gospel  in  India. 

"  Feb.  14. — By  a  letter  from  Mr.  13. 1  learn  that  there  has  been 
a  strong  contest  in  Leadenhall  Street.  Sir  F.  B.  formally  moved 
among  the  Directors,  <  That  the  Missionaries  be  recalled.'  A 
gentleman  who  spoke  in  reply  to  this  motion  was  two  hours  on 
his  legs,  taking  a  most  able  and  comprehensive  view  of  the  sub- 
ject, and  proving  the  importance  and  even  the  necessity  of 
Christianity,  in  a  political  and  commercial,  as  well  as  moral 
view.  There  were  20  out  of  the  24  Directors  present.  On 
dividing,  seven  were  for  Sir  F.'s  motion,  and  thirteen  against  it 
In  April,  six  Directors  go  out,  and  six  new  ones  come  in  ;  but 
I  trust  there  is  not  much  danger." 

"  I  have  had  delicate  ground  to  walk  over  in  Part  II.  in  answer- 
ing the  Letter  to  the  President  of  the  Board  of  Controul,  and 
Dr.  Barrow's  Sermon.  But  I  have  as  much  as  possible  avoided 
dividing  the  Christian  army. 

"April  13,  1811. — We  are  in  great  straits  as  a  Society  for 
money.  Upwards  of  £  2000.  indrafts  on  us  has  just  arrived. 
I  fear  we  shall  be  considerably  more  than  aground.  We  must 
work  to  replenish  the  funds  this  summer,  even  though  the 
failure  of  trade  should  render  it  like  rowing  against  wind  and 
tide." 

In  February  and  March  1813,  he  was  in  London,  and  accom- 
panied by  Mr.  SutcliflT  and  Mr.  Hinton,  obtained  an  interview 
with  several  noblemen,  respecting  provision  to  be  made  in  the 
new  Charter  for  the  toleration  of  Christian  Missionaries  in  India. 
The  subsequent  measures  pursued,  of  sending  petitions  to  Par- 
liament, and  the  success  that  followed,  are  already  known  to 
the  public. 

May  26,  1 8 14,  he  thus  wrote : — «  Between  now  and  the  first 
week  in  August,  I  have  no  rest.  I  give  you  my  routes,  that 
you  may  write  no  letters  to  me  at  Kettering  while  I  am  out ; 
and  may  write,  if  occasion  should  require  to  other  places.  June 
6, 1  set  off  for  Essex,  where  I  shall  collect  between  the  8th  and 
the  20th  ;  from  thence  I  go  to  London,  to  the  annual  meeting 
on  the  22d  j  come  down  to  Kettering  on  the  24th  or  25th  ;  set 


'200  MEMOIRS    OF 

off  for  the  north  of  England  on  the  27th,  for  five  Lord's  days 
I  expect  to  spend  the  first  at  Liverpool,  the  second  at  Man- 
chester, the  third  at  Leeds,  the  fourth  at  Newcastle,  and  the 
fifth  at  Hull." 

His  journey  to  Essex  was  prevented  by  sickness,  but  he 
"went  into  the  north  of  England  according  to  his  intention,  and 
wrote  to  me  from  Durham,  July  19th. — "  I  have  written  this 
day  an  application  to  the  East  India  Directors,  for  permission 
for  Mr.  Yates  to  go  to  Serampore.  My  hands  are  full.  In  the 
last  three  Lord's  days,  and  on  the  week  days  between  them,  I 
have  collected  about  £500,  and  after  doing  a  little  more  in  this 
neighbourhood,  I  hope  to  reach  home  about  the  29th  instant." 
In  his  next  letter  from  Newcastle,  on  the  24th,  he  intimated  that 
he  expected  to  make  it  £600. 

"  Jan.  11,  1815. — I  have  no  hope  of  being  able  to  continue 
my  monthly  letters  on  the  system  of  divinity,  though  I  am  at 
the  desk  twelve  hours  every  day,  or  nearly  so.  Rowe's  Jour- 
nal from  Jamaica  is  very  good.  Such  appears  to  be  the  self- 
denial,  economy,  temperance,  patience,  and  deep  devotedness 
to  God  of  that  young  man,  that  I  doubt  not  the  Lord  will  event- 
ually bless  him. 

"  Feb.  25. — I  sat  down  two  days  last  August,  to  write  to  Felix 
Carey,  Jabez  Carey,  Moore,  Rowe,  Robinson,  Judson,  and  I 
know  not  how  many  more. 

"  I  wrote  to  you  before  respecting  your  proposal  of  a  meeting 
at  Bristol.  If  near  that  time  we  could  go  to  South  Wales,  I 
would  be  willing  to  come ;  but  I  cannot  take  two  journeys  ;  and 
taay  not  be  able  to  take  one." 

Thus  did  he  continue  to  the  very  close  of  life,  watching  over 
the  junior  Missionaries,  counselling  and  encouraging  them ; 
and  laying  himself  out  to  procure  necessary  aid  for  carrying 
on  this  important  work:  though  he  always  disliked  violent 
pressing  for  contributions,  and  attempting  to  outvie  other  So- 
cieties :  he  chose  rather  to  tell  a  plain  unvarnished  tale ;  and 
he  generally  told  it  with  good  effect.  May  the  Lord  give  wis- 
dom, diligence  and  zeal  to  those  that  are  left  behind.  We 
must  feel  our  loss,  but  the  Lord  is  at  no  loss  to  find  instru* 
ments  to  carry  on  his  cause.  Psa.  cxxi. 


CHAP.  VIII. 

EXTRACTS  FROM  MR.  FULLER*S  CORRESPONDENCE,  CHIEF- 
LY WITH  THE  AUTHOR  OF  THESE  MEMOIRS,  FOR  TWO- 
ANO-THIRTY  YEARS;  WHO,  A'F  T  ER  EXAM  I  N I  NG  MORE 
THAN  330  LETTERS  WHICH  HE  HAD  PRESERVED,  HA8 
SELECTED  WHATEVER  MIGHT  ILIUSTRATE  THE  CHAR- 
ACTER OF  HIS  FRIEND,  THROW  LIGHT  UPON  IMPOR- 
TANT DOCTRINES,  OR  CONTAIN  INTERESTING  FACT!?. 

THIS  chapter  contains,  among  other  things,  Observations 
relative  to  the  Modern  Question — The  harmony  of  Scripture 
precepts,  prayers,  and  promises — The  affliction  of  Mr.  F.'s 
correspondent — Reference  to  his  interview  with  Mr.  Berridge — 
His  correspondent's  removal  to  Bristol — Controversy  with  Mr. 
Booth — Observations  on  Philosophy  and  the  Word  of  God— » 
Accurate  account  of  his  preaching  in  Braybruok  church — Out- 
lines of  a  sermon  to  the  aged — Hints  to  Students — Nature  of 
Christ's  merits — Terrible  hail-storm — Hints  relative  to  pub- 
lishing— Visit  to  Portsea — Visit  to  Ireland — Remarks  on  Mr. 
Walker  of  Dublin,  and  on  Sandemanianisn- — Remarks  on 
some  of  the  Eclectic  Reviewers — Mr.  Suiciiff's  illness  and 
death — Letter  to  the  Rev.  Archibald  M'Lean — Besides  various 
other  observations  interspersed. 

M  Kettering,  March  22,  1783. 

«  Dear  Brother  Ryland, 

"  The  obligations  under  which  you  have  laid  me,  are  such, 
that  I  know  not  when  nor  how  I  shall  repay  them.  I  heartily 
thank  you  for  what  you  sent  me  inclosed,  as  well  as  for  your 
attention  to  remove  my  difficulties  in  learning  Hebrew.  I  re- 
joice at  reading  Mr.  Guy's  letter.*  I  hope  things  will  follow 
each  other  in  their  course. 

*  1  apprehend,  this  refers  to  what  1  since  inserted  in  the  Evangelical 
Magazine,  1802,/>.  61. 

26 


202  MEMOIRS    OF 

"  The  difficulty  sent  you  from  Dunstable,  might  probably 
originate  with  Mr.  Cooke.  It  seems  to  be  one  of  his  objections 
to  Edwards's  system.  When  I  was  there  last  August,  he  start- 
ed the  very  same  thing,  before  David  Evans,  of  Thorn,  and  Mr. 
Pilley  of  Luton,  and  me.  I  observed,  as  you  do,  that  the  will 
and  the  understanding  influence  each  other  recipltcally,  and 
that  the  vileness  of  men's  dispositions  prevents  them  from  judg- 
ing justly  of  things.  He  replied,  as  nearly  as  ll^an  remember, 
'That  makes  no  difference:  suppose  the  will  does  influence 
the  judgment,  how  came  the  will  to  be  so  inclined  to  influence 
the  judgment  ?  That  act  of  the  will  is  also  governed  by  the  last 
dictate  of  a  prior  act  of  understanding,  and  so  on,  ad 
infinitum.* 

"  I  do  not  see,  but  that  what  you  say  of  sin  arising  from  a  firi~ 
-vative  cause  is  just,  and  tends  to  solve  the  difficulty.  I  will  sub- 
mit a  few  farther  remarks  to  your  consideraiion.  Mr.  D.  E. 
seems  to  go  upon  the  supposition,  that  any  defect  in  the  under- 
standing must  be  a  mere  natural  defect ;  for,  he  says,  c  the  un- 
derstanding is  always  considered  under  the  idea  of  natural  abili- 
vty  or  inability.'  But  this  must  not  be  granted  him  ;  for  deprav- 
ity influences  the  understanding,  as  well  as  the  will.  Mr. 
Edwards  explains  the  will  being  governed  by  the  last  dictate  of 
the  understanding,  by  its  being  as  the  greatest  apparent  good  is. 
Now,  here  I  would  ask,  How  comes  sin  to  be  the  greatest  ap- 
parent good  in  the  view  of  the  mind  ?  Is  it  owing  to  a  natural 
or  a  moral  defect,  that  men  call  evil  good,  and  good  evil  ?  If  the 
former,  why  was  Israel  blamed  for  so  doing  ?  If  the  latter,  then 
it  is  to  be  imputed,  as  you  say,  to  the  depraved  state  of  the 
mind,  which  views  things  different  from  what  they  are  ;  like  a 
jaundiced  eye,  that  discolours  an  object,  or  an  eye  that  sees 
things  double,  and  so  gives  them  a  false  appearance.  This  is 
what  the  Scripture  calls  an  "  evil"  eye.  Matt,  vi  3. 

'*  Farther,  ought  it  not  to  be  observed,  that,  though  the  will 
always  chooses  what  the  understanding  suggests  is  agreeable, 
yet,  not  always  what  appears  to  it  to  be  right.  The  will,  in  ten 
thousand  instances,  violates  the  dictates  of  conscience,  which 
are  the  dictates  of  the  understanding  concerning  what  is  right 
and  wrong.  The  will  of  man,  by  nature,  does  not  consult  th> 


MR.     FULLEB.  203 

understanding  concerning  what  is  right  and  fit,  but  merely  to 
find  out  what  will  afford  gratification.  And  sure  by  it  must  argue 
the  depraved  state  of  both  these  powers  to  be  thus  employed; 
the  will,  to  consult  the  understanding  with  such  a  sordid  end  ; 
and  the,  understanding,  to  degrade  itself  so  low,  as,  like  the  prod- 
igal, to  be  employed  in  feeding,  swine  ;  or,  in  other  words,  in 
merely  finding  out  objects  for  sensual  and  intellectual  lusts. 

"  What  reason  is  there  for  supposing  the  will  only  to  be  cor- 
rupted ?  Surely  the  whole  man  is  depraved,  as  it  were,  from  the 
crown  of  the  head  to  the  sole  of  the  foot.  When  we  say  to  peo- 
ple who  want  to  excuse  themselves,  l  Your  inability  lies  in  your 
will  ;*  we  do  not  mean,  I  suppose,  that  it  is  in  the  will,  in  distinc- 
tion from  the  understanding  and  the  affections  ;  but  in  distinction 
from  a  natural  inability,  consisting  in  a  want  of  power  or  oppor- 
tunity. In  all  such  language,  the  will  is  used  in  a  large  sense  ; 
perhaps,  for  the  whole  soul,  as  being  a  leading  faculty.  Sup- 
pose a  man  comes  and  entreats  my  pity,  on  account  of  a  misfor- 
tune, which  befel  him  through  being  in  evil  company.  I  retort, 
in  a  tone  of  rebuke,  4  You  choose  such  company  ;  that  is  your 
wickedness,  and  the  cause  of  all  your  misery/  In  this  case  it  is 
easy  to  see,  I  do  not  blame  him  merely  for  ihejirst  act  of  choice, 
in  distinction  from  his  judging  no  better  of  the  matter,  and  actu- 
ally going  amongst  them,  and  taking  delight  therein.  No  :  for 
each  of  these  he  was  culpable  ;  yea,  though  the  latter  acts  are 
supposed  necessarily  to  follow  upon  the  former. 

"  I  think  it  is  certain,  as  you  observe,  that  the  will  and  the 
understanding  mutually  influence  each  other.  It  is  allowed,  I 
suppose,  on  all  hands,  that  we  are  possessed  of  a  world  of  crim- 
inal prejudices.  But  prejudice,  if  I  understand  it,  is  firefionder- 
ation  of  the  WILL,  wishing  to  see  things  in  such  a  light,  or  not 
to  see  them  in  such  a  light.  As  to  Mr.  C.'s  reply  to  this  :  that— 
<  suppose  the  will  does  influence  the  understanding,  in  various 
of  its  acts  ;  yet,  how  comes  the  will  to  be  so  inclined  to  influence 
the  understanding  ?  If  the  will  always  follows  the  last  dictate  of 
the  understanding,  then  that  act  of  the  will  which  biasses  the 
understanding,  is  governed  by  the  last  dictate  of  a  prior  act  of 
the  understanding  ;  and  so,  ad  infinitum  :"— -  if  he  mean,  by  this, 
to  suggest,  that  every  erroneous  dictate  of  the  understanding  is 


204  MEMOIRS    OF 

a  mere  natural  defect ;  and,  so,  blameless ;  I  reply,  *  This  it 
quires  proof/  Nothing:  of  this  has,  as  yet,  I  think,  been  given. 
The  order  of  the  soul's  acting  affords  none.  And,  if  something 
like  a  proof  could  be  found  in  the  science  of  metaphysics,  the 
author  must  bewarr,  lest  he  be  confronted  by  the  science  of 
common  sense.  S  ippose,  for  example,  a  person  owes  Mr.  C.  a 
suniof  money,  which  he  lent  him  in  private;  he  goes  and 
asks  him  for  it ;  he  is  told,  in  reply,  «  I  do  not  choose  to  pay 
you.'  <  No  !  Why  ?'  He  is  ansvrered  (and  that  with  the  great- 
est sincerity  ! )  <-  My  understanding  suggests  to  me,  that,  upon 
the  whole,  it  will  be  b^st  for  me  to  keep  it,  as  you  have  no  evi- 
dence to  show  for  it  !'  Would  Mr.  C  think  the  suggesting 
of  such  a  piece  of  villainy  as  this  to  be  owing  to  a  mere  natural 
inability?  I  am  persuaded,  that,  if  this  suggester  and  dictator 
had  been  so  unlucky  as  to  have  been  a  man^  instead  of  a  mere 
faculty,  he  would  deserve  to  be  handed  for  his  pains  !: 

But  if,  on  the  other  hand,  he  own  that  such  erroneous  dic- 
tates of  the  understanding  are  morally  e-vil,  as  well  as  those  of 
the  will,  (which  by  the  way  he  owned  to  me  at  Dunstable,)  then 
I  confess,  I  do  not  see  how  this  difficulty  affects  the  doctrine  of 
natural  and  moral  inability.  What  does  it  affect  the  argument, 
whether  the  evil  be  in  this  faculty,  or  in  that,  or  in  all  the  facul- 
ties ?  If  it  is  evil  at  all,  it  must  be  moral  inability.  Nay,  and  I 
think,  going  about  to  prove  the  evil  to  reside  in  the  understand- 
ing, as  well  as  the  will,  tends,  rather,  to  aggravate  than  to  les- 
sen that  inability  ;  as,  certainly,  if  the  will  only  were  depraved, 
man  would  not  be  so  bad  as  he  is,  if  his  whole  soul  13  depraved. 
"  As  to  your  observation  on  el»ction  it  will  do,  I  think,  upon 
the  fiuhlafixarian  scheme  ;  but  a  Sufiralafivarian.  would  not  allow 
of  its  reflecting  any  shame  upon  hum -in  nature.  I  have 
formerly  professed  myself  a  Sufirataflearittfy  at  a  time  when, 
perhaps,  I  hardly  knew  the  meaning  of  that  hard  word.  J  own| 
I  am  not  now  versed  in  the  arguments  on  either  side.  Only, 
one  thing  has  for  some  time  struck  me  ;  namely,  that  tho 
sublapsarian  scheme  is  of  use  to  me,  in  the  conviction  ot  sinners. 
I  can  pT'Ove  to  them,  that  they  lie  absolutely  at  the  discretion  of 
God.  and  have  no  claim  whatever  upon  him  ;  that  to  them  be- 
longeth  nothing  but  shame  and  everlasting  confusion ;  that* 


MR.    FULLER.  205 

therefore,  God  is  entirely  at  liberty  in  choosing  whom  he  will. 
I  cannot  make  this  use  of  the  xufiralafisarian  scheme  ;  for  then 
I  must  tell  them,  that,  as  CREATURES,  God  had  a  right  to 
choose  so?ne  to  a  higher  degree  of  bliss  than  others.  This  cannot 
be  charged  with  injustice  ;  and,  so  far,  may  silence  them  :  but 
it  cannot  convict  them  of  sin,  or  bring  them  to  fall  at  the  feet  of 
God,  and  own  that  they  have  cut  themselves  off  from  all  good  ; 
and  that,  through  their  sin,  their  everlasting  ill  or  well  being 
depends  upon  his  mere  sovereign  pleasure. 
I  am, 

Yours  very  affectionately, 

A.  F." 

"  P.  S.  I  suppose  you  know  Mr.  Cooke  is  entirely  in  Dr. 
Gill's  system  respecting  the  Modern  Question.  He  seems,  I 
think,  a  subtle  disputant.  God  forbid  I  should  rejoice  in  any 
man's  being  averse  from  what  I  believe,  to  be  truth  ;  yet,  all 
things  considered,  this  may  be  most  for  the  public  good.  If  there 
were  no  man  of  polemic  abilities  to  oppose  our  system,  the 
matter  could  not  be  fairiy  tried.  Others  might  say,  as  Mr.  E. 
did  to  me,  *  If  Mr  Brine,  or  some  such  writer  were  alive,  he 
would  try  the  matter.'  Thus  it  would  be  insinuated,  that  a  con- 
quest had  been  made,  because  there  were  only  a  few  scattered 
forces,  without  a  captain  at  their  fread,  to  resist.  In  this  view,  I 
shall  not  be  sorry  if  Mr.  C.  should  persist  in  opposing  our  sys- 
tem, till  the  matter  be  thoroughly  tried. 

»  When  I  was  at  Dunstable,  Mr.  Pilley  and  I  conversed  very 
freely  on  sirch  subjects.  I  think  he  appears  to  be  leaning  to  our 
system  :  Mr.  C.  perceived  it  too,  and  gave  him  some  hard  biow& 
for  it.  Mr.  P.  asked  Mr.  C.  in  the  morning,  what  he  thought  of 
1  Cor.  xvL  22.  «  Did  it  not  prove  it  to  be  the  duty  of  every  man 
to  love  Christ  ?'  Mr.  C.  replied,  <  Aye,  you  will  make  it  their 
duty  to  believe  in  him,  bye  and  bye.'  Mr.  P.  however,  has  some 
objections  to  our  view?,  which  we  had  not  time  to  discuss.  I 
have  been  thinking  of  entering  on  a  correspondence  with  himj 
to  have  principles  examined ;  indeed,  a  letter  to  him  has  lain 
by  me,  for  several  months,  but  I  have  never  had  courage  to 
send  it  \  merely,  because  I  fear  it  would  seem  as  if  I  wanted  to 


206  MEMOIRS    OF 

instruct  those  who  are  more  able  to  instruct  me.  He  is,  I  think, 
a  very  worthy  man,  of  good  natural  abilities,  an  honest  heart, 
and  some  influence  in  our  churches.  He  is  particularly  ac- 
quainted with  Mr.  Emery,  whose  prejudices  might  probably  be 
softened  by  his  coming  over." 

The  following  paper  was  drawn  up  by  Mr.  Fuller,  at  my  re- 
quest, August  26,  1783. 

A  sheet  had  been  published,  containing  a  threefold  arrange- 
ment of  many  Scriptures,  consisting  of  corresponding  commands, 
petitions*  and  promises.  I  am  sorry  I  cannot  find  a  copy  of  it. 
It  was  well  designed  by  the  author,  but,  I  thought,  would  be  im- 
proved by  a  more  proper  key,  to  open  its  consistency  to  the  view 
of  the  reader. 

"  There  are  two  extremes,  into  which  great  numbers  of  the 
religious  world  have  fallen.  One  is,  an  idea  of  self -sufficiency  to 
obey  God's  commands  ;  and  the  other  is,  a  spirit  of  self-justifi- 
cation in  neglecting  them.  Those  who  entertain  thejtfm,  seem 
not  to  know  the  plague  of  their  own  hearts :  they  suppose  it  in- 
consistent for  the  Divine  Being  to  enjoin  that  on  them  which 
they  are  unable  to  perform  ;  so  that,  if  God  command,  saying, 
'  Make  you  a  new  heart,  and  a  new  spirit,'  they  conceive 
themselves  sufficient  to  effect  it.  Those  who  imbibe  the  last, 
deny  their  obligations :  they  suppose  it  inconsistent,  that  those 
things  which  God  has  graciously  promised  to  bestow  upon  us, 
should  yet  continue  to  be  required  of  us ;  so  that  if  God  promise, 
saying,  c  A  new  heart  will  I  give  you,  and  a  new  spirit  I  will 
put  within  you,'  it  frees  them  from  all  obligation  in  the  affair- 
The  common  language  of  such  persons  is,  *  Such  a  thing  cannot 
be  our  duty :  that  is  GOD'S  work.' 

"That  both  these  principles  are  wide  of  the  truth,  appears, 
not  only  from  the  following  Scriptures,  but  from  the  nature  of 
things.  As  to  theirs?,  it  is  allowed,  that  it  would  be  inconsist- 
ent in  the  Divine  Being  to  enjoin  that  on  us  which  we  are  naf» 
urally  unable  to  perform.  By  naturally  unable,  is  intended  that 
inability  wherein  we  cannot  do  a  thing,  though  we  would  ever 
90  fain  ;  or  tha*t  inability  which  does  not  at  all  consist  in  the  want 
of  a  disposition,  but  of  opportunity ,  or  else  in  a  debility  of  our 


MR.    FULLER.  207 

bodily  or  mental  faculties.  If  our  inability  to  fulfil  the  commands 
of  God  were  of  this  kirtti,  it  is  allowed,  it  would  be  inconsistent 
in  the  Divine  Being  to  hold  us  still  bound  to  fulfil  them.  God 
does  not  require  a  blind  man  to  read  his  word,  nor  an  ideot  to 
understand  it.  But  our  inability  is  not  natural,  but  moral;  that 
is,  it  lies  in  the  want  of  a  good  disposition,  and  in  being  under 
the  dominion  of  a  bad  one.  Our  inability  is  like  that  of  Joseph's 
brethren,  who  could  not  speak  peaceably  to  him :  or  like  that 
of  the  Jews,  to  whom  Christ  spake,  saying.  How  can  ye,  being 
e-uil,  speak  good  things  ?  or  like  that  of  those  reproved  by  the 
apostle  Peter,  Having  eyes  full  of  adultery,  and  that  cannot  cease 
from  sin.  The  reason  why  the  mind  is  not  subject  to  the  law 
of  God,  nor  can  be,  is  its  being  a  carnal  mind,  and  enmity  against 
God.  Now  it  is  so  far  from  being  inconsistent  in  the  Divine 
Being  to, require  of  us  what  we  are  in  this  sense  unable  to  per. 
form,  that  it  would  be  inconsistent  in  him  not  to  require  it :  as 
inconsistent  as  for  a  worthy  prince  to  drop  his  claims  of  allegi- 
ance, in  proportion  as  his  rebellious  subjects  become  so  averse 
from  his  government,  that  they  cannot  find  it  in  their  hearts  to 
yield  obedience  to  him. 

"  In  this  view  of  things,  however,  we  are  unable  to  obey  God's 
law  ;  though  that  inability  is  our  fault.  While  the  heart  is  en- 
tirely averse  from  God's  law,  it  is  impossible  any  real  obedience 
to  it  can  be  yielded.  Hence,  God  has  told  us,  that  when  the 
Ethiopian  can  change  his  skin,  and  the  leofiard  his  spots,  then 
may  those  do  good  works,  who  are  accustomed  to  do  evil.  And 
hence,  the  best  ot  men,  who  are  still  the  subjects  of  a  great  deal 
of  moral  inability,  that  is,  of  carnality,  acknowledge,  that  the 
way  of  man  is  not  in  himself  ;  that  it  is  not  in  man  that  tvalkt:th 
to  direct  his  steps.  Hence  also,  they  unite  their  prayers  with 
God's  precepts — *  Thou  hast  commanded  us  to  keep  thy  pre- 
cepts diligently.  O  that  my  ways  were  directed  to  keep  thy 
statutes  1*  And  hence,  likewise,  God  graciously  promises  that 
which  he  commands,  and  for  which  we  pray  ;  as  may  be  seen 
in  the  following  collection  of  Scriptures. 

"  The  other  principle  does  not  appear  at  all  less  beside  the 
truth  than  the  above ;  for  if  we  are  not  previously  obligated  to 
all  or  any  of  those  spiritual  dispositions  which  the  Holy  Spirit 


MEMOIRS    OF 

actually  works  in  us,  then  the  law  of  God  is  not  exceedingly 
br'jad,  but  exceedingly  narrow.  Then,  also,  the  work  of  the 
Spirit  docs  not  consist  in  putting  his  law  into  our  hearts,  and 
writing  that  in  our  inward  parts  ;  but  in  something  else,  which 
his  law  did  not  require,  nor  know  any  thing  about. 

"  The  views  which  saints  in  old  time  had  of  these  things,  will 
appear,  by  the  following  collection  of  Scriptures,  wherein  we 
may  observe, — First,  God  commanding  :  by  this  they  understood 
his  just  authority  over  them,  and  their  great  obligations  to  him, 
But,  secondly,  conscious  of  their  moral  inability  to  obey  his 
righteous  requirements  ;  or,  in  other  words,  of  their  propensit>  to 
neglect  and  disobey  them,  they  return  them,  as  it  were,  to 
heaven,  accompanied  with  earnest  prayers,  that  God,  by  his 
Holy  Spirit,  would  work  those  very  things  in  them,  which,  by 
his  law,  he  required  of  them.  Then,  thirdly,  we  see  the  Lord 
mercifully  sending  down  both  precepts  and  prayers,  accompanied 
\vithexceedingly  great  and  precious  promises,  wherein,  as  the 
God  of  grace,  he  engages  to  bestow  those  very  things  which,  as  a 
lawgiver,  he  requires. 

"  Here"  says  Mr.  F.  "  I  would  place  the  collection  of 
Scriptures,  and  then,  at  the  conclusion,  add  the  following  para- 
graph : 

"  And  now,  reader,  judge,  whether,  in  this  view  of  things,  the 
preceptive  and  promissory  parts  of  Scripture,  do  not  gloriously 
harmonize.  Here,  in  one  part,  you  see  the  divine  authority  of 
the  lawgiver  ;  in  another,  the  moral  insufficiency  of  the  creature  » 
and,  in  the  other,  the  alt-sufficiency  of  the  God  of  GRACE.  The 
Lord  grant  you  may  have  grace  to  understand  and  digest  every 
truth  !  Then  will  you  cease  from  self-sufficiency,  on  the  one 
hand,  and  self-justification,  on  the  other.  You  will  happily  es- 
cape Arminian  pride,  and  Antinomian  presumption.  You  will 
own  your  obligations,  feel  and  mourn  your  defects,  pray  for  what 
you  want,  praise  for  what  has  been  granted,  and  trust  Jehovah 
for  what  he  has  promised." 

"Dec.  10,  1783. 

"  Through  the  goodness  of  God,  I  am  safely  returned  ; 
though  I  was  very  ill,  last  week,  with  a  violent  sickness  and  fever, 


MR.    FULLER.  209 

ior  some  days.     I  find  you  have  heard,  though  by  what  channel 
I  cannot  conceive,  that  I  have  had  a  little  dispute  with  a  certain 
ingenious  gentleman,  who  has  been  used  to  plead  ior  the  inno- 
cence of  mental   error.     The  point  was,    Whether  every   one 
ought  to  believe  the  truth  ?  If  this  had  been  granted,  his  inno- 
cence of  error  must  have  fallen.     The  substance  of  the  conversa- 
tion, as  far  as  I  can  remember,  was  this.  Gentleman.  <  Well,  Mr. 
Fuller,  I  am  told,  thereis  a  revolution  of  principles  among  some  of 
you.  Mr.  L.  of  N-  tells  me,  we  are  all  going  to  be  learned  how  to 
preach.  Mr.  Hall  has  written  a  book,  and  Mr.  Fuller,  another ;  but 
it  is  only  the  old  story  over  again,  about  repentance  and  faith  being 
the  duty  of  sinners.    Now  I  told  him,  (continued  the  gentleman,) 
faith  could  not  be  a  duty,  because  that  is  the  effect  of  examination, 
and  what,  when  a  person  does,  he  cannot  help,  doing."     F.  *  It  is 
as  you  have  heard,  as  to  Mr.  Hall's  having  written  a  book.  His 
book,  however,  is  not  wholly  on  that  subject.     He  had  occasion 
to  say  something  on  natural  and  moral  inability,  and  so  touches 
on    the  subject    you   mentioned.     Respondent.  4  Natural  and 
moral  inability  !  Well,  I  think  that  a  very  just  distinction.'  F. *  Do 
you  not  think,  Sir,  it  is  every  one's  duty  to  believe  the  truth  ?* 
JR.  4  No  ;  it  is  every  one's  duty  to  examine  the  truth ;  and  if  they 
do  that  fairly,  they  will  necessarily  believe  it  :  but  believing  itself 
can  no  more  be  said  to  be  duty,  than  it  is  my  duty  to  be  warm, 
when  I  stand  by  the   fire.     Being   warm  is  the  effect,  of  my 
standing  by  the  fire  ;  it  is  the  influence  of  fire  upon  me  :  so  faith 
is  the  effect  of  examination  ;  the  effect  or  influence  of  truth 
upon  the  mind.'     F.  '  If  to  be  the  effect  of  some  prior  cause 
cannot  consist  with  duty,  then  love  is  not  a  duty  ;  for  love  is  the 
effect  of  discerning  the  beauty  of  an  object ;  and  it  has  also  the 
other  property  of  faith,  you  mentioned  ;  that  is,  when  we  love, 
We  cannot  help  doing  as  we  do,  can  we  ?'  R. i  No.'  F.  *  And  is 
not  love  the  effect  of  discernment  too  ?'  R. '  Yes.'  F. «  Well ;  is 
not  love  a  duty  ?'  R-  i  No  ;  properly  speaking,  it  is  our  duty  to 
examine  the  excellence  of  an  object ;  and  if  we  do  that,  we  must 
love  it,  if  it  be  lovely  :  but  love  itself  is  not  properly  speaking,  a 
duty.'  F.  <  What  then,  did  God  mean   by  commanding  us  to 
love  him  with  all  our  heart,  and  Christ,  by  commanding  us  to 
love  one  another  ?  Are  we  commanded  to  do  what  is  not  our 
27 


210  MEMOIRS    Of      * 

duty  ?'  [No  answer  that  I  remember.]  F.  c  Is  it  not  our  duty 
to  choose  the  good,  and  refuse  the  evil?'  7?.  '  Not,  philosoph- 
ically speaking.'  -F.  'Sir,  what  duly  can  you  point  out  that  i» 
not  the  effect  of  some  prior  cause  ?  No  action,  I  presume, 
of  any  kind  ;  for  that  is  the  effect  of  thought  and  choice.'  R. 
1  Yes;  but  whatever  is  a  good  action,  I  allow  to  be  duty  ;  but 
faith  is  not  an  act?  F.  <  Nor  love  ?  nor  choice  .?'  R.  '  No '  F. 
*  What,  then,  are  mental  acts  ?  and  why  are  the  verbs,  to  believe^ 
to  love,  to  choose,  actively  expressed  ?'  [No  answer.]  F. '  What 
think  you  of  1  John  v.  10.  He  that  belie-veth  not  God,  hath  made 
him  a  liar,  because,  &c.'  JR. «  Aye.  that  is,  he  believeth  not  the 
gospel*  F  '  Very  well  ;  and  what  then  ?  Is  it  no  sin  to  make 

God  a  liar  ?'  [No   answer.]     F.  'Suppose   Mr.  should 

go  home,  and  tell  a  fact,  from  his  own  kno^1  ledge.  His  son 
affects  to  doubt  it.  «  What !  cannot  you  believe  me  ?'  '  Father, 
(replies  the  boy,)  I  am  examining  the  affair.  Possibly,  you  may 
be  mistaken,  or  may  tell  me  a  lie.'  7?.  «  Very  well ;  it  would 
be  his  duty  merely  to  examine.'  F.  « I  should  be  loth  to  be  in 
the  boy's  clothes,  if  you  had  a  stick  in  your  hand.  I  think,  Sir, 
the  sum  is,  we  each  suppose  the  soul  to  move  bv  a  number  of 
movements,  as  it  were,  by  gradation.  First,  I  think,  judge,  then 
choose,  lo-ve,  act,  &c.  Now,  I  suppose  duty  to  be  predicable  of 
each  of  these  ;  you,  only  of  thejirsi  in  the  series.  I  judge  it  to 
be  every  one's  duty  to  act  right ;  and,  in  order  to  that,  to  judge 
right,  choose  right,  Sec.  You  suppose  it  duty  to  examine  in  a 
right  manner  ;  and  then,  because  the  other  will  follow  of  course, 
they  can  be  no  duties :  aad  so  there  is  no  virtue  in  doing  a  good 
action,  or  vice  in  an  evil  one  ;  nor  in  good  choice  or  evil ;  but 
barely  in  examining  these  matters.  This,  I  own,  reduces  good 

and  evil  to  a  very  narrow  compass.'  " 

% 

"Feb.  26,  1783. 

<c  I  return  you  Edwards  on  Original  Sin,  and  thank  you  for  the 
use  of  it.  I  hope  it  has  been  of  use  to  me.  A  week  or  two  ago, 
I  was  at  R.  to  see  Mr  Tweltree.  He  brought  up  a  conversa- 
tion relative  to  my  intended  publication,  of  which  he  had  heard. 
He  wished  to  see  the  manuscript,  before  it  was  published.  It  is 
in  a  sad,  interlined  condition ;  but  he  pressed  me  so,  that  I  could 


. 

MR,    FULLER.  211 

not   deny  him.     In  conversation,    Wayman'a  farther  Inquiry 
oame  up,  which  he  greatly  prefers  to  Mr.  Brine's  writings.     I 
told  mm,  I  thought  Mr.  W.  had  mistaken  the  definition  of  faith ; 
as  he  proceeds,  all  along,  on  the  supposition,  that  it  is  a  believing 
•ur  own  particular  interest  in   Christ's  death.     This  he  denied  ; 
and  said,  'You  must  read  him  again:  adding,  if  that  had  been 
the  case,  he  should  have  committed  his  piece  to  the  flames.    1 
asked  him,  what  he  thought  faith  was  ?  He  sakl,  *  An  applica- 
tion to,  and  trust  in  Christ,  for  salvation.'     I  said,  Very  well ; 
I  will  not  dispute  with  you  about  that  definition  ;  but,  if  that  is 
Mr.  W/s  idea  of  it,  why  does  he  charge  his  antagonist,  all  tjie 
way,  with   making  it  people's  duty  to  believe  a  lie  ?  Would 
there  have  been  any  thing  of  believing  a  lie,  in  the  four  le- 
pers applying  to  the   Syrians,  and  trusting  them  for  salvation, 
supposing  them  to  have  fallen  into  their  hands,  and  even  sup- 
posing them  to  have  killed  them  ?  Where  all  help  fails  from 
every  otuer  quarter,  and  a  possibility  of  help  remains  from  one 
only,  is  it  not  the  duty  of  the  party  to  apply  for  that,  and  even 
trufst  in  it  ?  It  a  company  of  traitors  were  under  condemnation, 
and  the  prince  were  to  declare  a  purpose  of  mercy  to  some  of 
them  ;  would  not  that  be  a  ground  why  all  should  apjily  ?  Yea, 
and,  whatever  might  be  the  issue,  surely  they  ought  not  to  deny 
their  crimes,  and  so  trust  in  falsehood ;  but  to  own  them,  and 
trust  in  the  prince's  clemency.     There  would  be  no  belief  of 
a  lie,  in  this  case  ;  even  supposing  they  should  find  no  favour, 
\vhen  they  came  there.     But  Christ  has  promised  indefinitely, 
e  Him  that cometh  I  will  in  no  wise  cast  out;'  and  this  cannot 
make  that  the  belief  of  a  lie,  which  would  not  have  been   so 
without  it.     He  could  not  get  over  this  argument,  but  went  off 
to  another;  saying,  These  cases  were  not  similar:  for  that  these 
criminals  had/zower  to  go  and  trust ;  but  sinners  had  not  power 
to   come  to  Christ.     I  denied  this :  I  said,  there  were  many 
cases  in  which  a  traitor  had  not/fcow<?r  to   humble  himself,  and 
ask  pardon ;  that  his  heart  would  not  let  him  ;  that  his  pride 
and  enmity  were  such  as  to  be   invincible ;  and  that  many  an 
one  had  proved  that  he  could  not  submit,  and  that  he  would 
rather  a  thousand  times  be  beheaded,  or  even  hanged,  than  do 
it.     Here  he  seemed  at  a  loss,  and  appeared  never  to  have  con- 


212  MEMOIRS    OP 

sidered  that  sort  of  inability.  Here  we  ended.  He  promised 
to  read  over  the  manuscript  candidly,  and  make  any  remarks 
that  might  occur  ;  and  I  promised  I  would  give  them  all  the 
weight  I  could  ;  and  that,  if  I  thought  he  had  rendered  one  ar- 
gument void,  I  would  erase  it. 

"  Yours,  sincerely  and  affectionately, 


"Feb.  2,  1787. 

"  I  have  often  been  in  pain  for  you,  since  I  saw  you  ;  but  God 
is  good,  and  will  support  you.  I  was  thinking  whether  it 
might  not  be  of  use  to  you,  to  read  over  the  latter  part  of  your 
own  sermon,  on  God's  Experimental  Probation  of  Intelligent 
Agents.  God  has  long  tried  you,  my  Brother,  by  a  series  of 
trials  ;  under  which  you  have  had  one  to  feel  with  you,  and  for 
you.  The  Lord,  it  may  be,  has  taken  her  away,  that  you  may 
have  a  more  direct  recourse  to  him.  It  was  much  tome,  when 
my  child  died,  to  think,  <  The  Lord,  liveth,  and  blessed  be  my 
Rock  !'  It  is  no  small  comfort,  to  think,  you  are  not  parted  for 
ever.  Your  dear  departed  might  have  adopted  the  words  of  her 
Lord,  to  you  —  *  I  shall  see  you  again,  and  your  heart  shall  re- 
joice,' &c.  O  what  a  meeting  shall  we  have  at  last  1 

"  I  have  just  now  received  yours,  and  am  very  glad  to  find 
you  are  so  well  supported.  God  is  good,  and  a  strong  hold  in 
a  day  of  trouble.  Blessed  be  God,  we  have  several  young 
people,  who  are  concerned  about  their  souls'  salvation." 

«Kettering,Jan.  7,  1791. 
"  ......  As  to  my  Everton  journey,  I  wrote  something, 

as  it  was  then  fresh  upon  my  mind,  better  than  I  can  now.  I 
greatly  admired  that  divine  savour  which,  all  along,  mingled 
itself  with  Mr.  Berridge's  facetiousness,  and  sufficiently  chas- 
tised it.  His  conversation  tended  to  produce  a  frequent,  but 
guiltless  smile,  accompanied  with  a  tear  of  pleasure.  His 
love  to  Christ  appears  to  be  intense.  I  requested  him  to  give 
us  a  few  outlines  of  his  life  and  ministry.  These  were  inter- 
esting, but  too  long  to  write.  They  will  enrich  an  evening's 


MR.    FULLER.  218 

conversation,  if  I  come  to  Northampton.*  When  he  had  gone 
through,  I  asked  him  to  pray  for  us.  He  said,  he  was  so  faint 
he  could  not  yet,  and  requested  me  to  pray.  I  prayed,  and 
concluded  as  usual,  by  asking  all  in  Christ's  name.  He,  with- 
out getting  off  his  knees,  took  up  the  prayer  where  I  had  left  it> 
in  some  such  manner  as  this  : — «  O  Lord  God  !  this  prayer  has 
been  offered  up  in  the  name  of  JESUS  :  accept  it,  I  beseech 
thee,'  8cc.  for  five  or  six  minutes,  in  a  most  solemn  and  savoury 
manner.  We  then  took  leave,  with  solemn  prayer  for  blessings 
on  each,  as  if  we  had  been  acquainted  for  forty  years,  and  were 
never  to  see  each  other  again  in  this  world.  The  visit  left  a 
strong  and  lasting  impression  on  my  heart  of  the  beauty  of 
holiness — of  holiness  almost  matured." 

«  Kettering,  Dec.  3,  1793. 
«  My  dear  Brother, 

"  I  have  no  other  occasion  for  writing,  than  to  express  my 
earnest  desire,  that  your  important  removal  may  be  for  good. 
I  am  satisfied  you  are  in  the  path  of  duty  :  on  this  considera- 
tion, I  am  willing  to  part  with  you.  I  loved  Carey,  but  I  loved 
the  cause  of  Christ  better :  and,  on  that  account,  I  could  not 
be  sorry  at  his  departure;  though  it  was  with  a  probability  never 
to  see  him  more.  Your  views  of  divine  truth,  I  consider  as  of 
great  importance  in  the  Christian  ministry.  Go  then,  my 
Brother,  pour  them  into  the  minds  of  the  rising  generation  of 
ministers.  Perhaps,  there  could  not  have  been  a  station  in 
which  you  would  have  had  so  fair  an  opportunity  of  propagating 
gospel-truth.  Let  us  do  all  we  can  in  our  different  stations. 
Respectability  of  character  and  situation  affords  great  opportu- 
nity of  doing  good.  We  have  several  of  us,  in  different  ways, 
hereby,  fresh  openings  for  usefulness.  It  is  a  trust,  as  well 
as  other  things,  of  which  we  must  give  account ;  and  I  hope  our 
account  will  be  with  joy,  and  not  with  grief. 

"  I  have  found,  the  more  I  do  for  Christ,  the  better  it  is  with 
me.  I  never  enjoyed  so  much  of  the  pleasures  of  religion,  as  I 
have  within  the  last  two  years,  since  we  have  engaged  in  the 
Mission  business.  Mr.  Whitfield  used  to  say,  c  The  more  a  man 
does  for  God,  the  more  he  may.' 

*  See  Evangelical  Magazine,  1794,  p.  73. 


214  MEMOIRS    OF 

"  I  should  have  been  glad  to  have  seen  you  at  Kettcring,     As 
that  cannot  be,  the  Lord  God  of  Israel  prosper  your  way  ! 
« I  am, 

"  Very  affectionately,  yours, 

"ANDREW  FULLER. 

«  P.  S.  I  will  write  as  often  as  I  find  something  interesting 
to  write  about,  and  opportunity  admits.  I  hope  you  will  do  the 
same." 

"April  21,1794. 

"  I  have  read  Dr.  Edwards  on  Free  Grace  and  Atonement 
with  great  pleasure.  I  suppose  I  read  it  sometime  ago  ;  but 
I  never  relished  it  so  well  before.  I  thank  you  for  it.  I  would 
not  take  half-a-guinea  for  that  pamphlet,  though  I  do  not  coin- 
cide with  every  thing  it  contains." 

"Jan.  1,  1795. 

<*  I  received,  about  a  week  ago,  the  packet  of  pamphlets  ; 
for  which  I  am  much  obliged  to  you.  I  very  much  longed  for 
West  on  the  Atonement;  and  if  I  could  have  Spring  on  Duty> 
I  should  be  very  glad.  I  am  concerned  to  hear  of  Dr.  Ed- 
wards's  illness.  The  Lord  preserve  him,  if  he  be  yet  alive ! 
Should  you  write  to  him,  give  my  sincere  love  to  him,  and 
thank  him  for  his  remarks  on  my  letters,  as  well  as  for  the 
pamphlets.  I  hope  soon  to  begin  a  third  edition,  and  shall 
make  use  of  them,  as  far  as  I  can  see  their  propriety. 

"  You  ask,  if  I  have  seen  Paine*s  Age  of  Reason.  I  have 
not.  You  do  not  know  what  reading  is  to  me ;  one  hour  would 
bring  on  the  headach.  A  newspaper  is  as  much  as  I  can  read 
at  a  time.  I  could  do  many  things,  if  strength  would  allow 
it.  Plans  of  various  works  have  entered  my  mind ;  but  all  must 
be  dropped,  or  nearly  so,  for  want  of  strength.  Reading  is 
worse  to  me,  than  thinking  or  writing." 

"April  2,   1795. 

"  Sin  is  to  be  overcome,  not  so  much  by  maintaining  a  direct 
opposition  to  it,  as  by  cultivating  opposite  principles.  Would 
you  kill  the  weeds  in  your  garden,  plant  it  with  good  seed  :  if 


MR.    FULLER.  215 

the  ground  be  well  occupied,  there  will  be  less  need  of  the 
labour  of  the  hoe.  If  a  man  wished  to  quench  fire,  he  might 
fight  it  with  his  hands,  till  he  was  burnt  to  death  ;  the  only  way 
is,  to  apply  an  opposite  element." 

He  observes,  respecting  a  certain  person, — "  He  seems  te 
confound  the  subordinate  character  under  which  Christ  acted, 
with  an  inferiority  of  nature.  There  is  a  k'nd  of  economical 
subordination  ascribed  to  the  Son  and  Holy  Spirit ;  which  yet 
does  not  suppose  any  inequality,  or  inferiority  of  nature." 

"Aug.  28,  1795. 

«  I  cannot  but  think  Mr.  B.'s  ideas,  on  the  subject  of  your 
letter  to  him  are  unjust.  I  acknowledged,  as  you  did,  that  no 
good  disposition  whatever  was  required  to  warrant  our  applica- 
tion to  Christ ;  but  urged,  that  a  good  disposition  was  necessary 
to  the  act  of  coming  ;  that,  in  the  order  of  things,  repentance 
must  precede  faith  in  Christ,  as  well  as  follow  it :  since,  without 
a  conviction — a  spiritual  conviction  of  the  evil  of  sin — there 
could  be  no  sense  of  our  need  of  a  Saviour.  While  the  heart 
is  not  broken  by  repentance,  the  sinner  is  whole,  and  needs  no 
physician.  He  owned,  men  must  consider  themselves  as  lost 
perishing  sinners.  I  answered,  <  If  this  conviction  include  no 
change  of  disposition,  it  will  never  lead  a  sinner  to  Christ. 
With  a  heart  at  enmity  with  God,  he  will  not  come  to  Christ, 
that  he  may  have  life.  Pray,  Sir,  does  not  a  sinner's  consider- 
ing himself  in  a  lost,  perishing  condition,  include  repentance  ?' 
B.  <  No ;  Judas  felt  this.'  F.  «  And  will  any  man  come  to 
Christ,  who  possesses  merely  the  disposition  of  Judas  ?'  He 
would  not  say,  they  would.  F.  <  I  really  think  the  sickness  of 
which  our  Lord  speaks,  implies  such  a  conviction  of  the  evil  of 
sin,  as  well  as  of  the  perishing  state  of  the  sinner,  as  is  accom- 
panied with  a  justification  of  God,  a  condemnation  of  them- 
selves, and  a  despair  of  help  from  every  other  quarter  ;  and  this 
includes  the  first  principles  of  repentance,  and  of  all  true  re- 
ligion.' B.  «  To  talk  of  repentance,  as  being  previously  neces- 
sary, is  leading  the  soul  from  Christ,  to  centre  in  self.'  F. '  Yes; 
If  that  repentance  be  made  a  ground,  warrant,  or  encourage- 


216 


MEMOIRS    OF 


ment,  to  come  ;  not  else.*  jB.  *  You  may  say,  that  the  sinner  is 
not  to  consider  his  good  disposition  as  a  ground  ;  but,  if  you 
preach  it  as  necessary,  he  will  so  consider  it,  and  thus  turn  his 
attention  to  it,  and  be  dwelling  upon  his  own  penitence.'  F. '  Be 
it  so  :  your  argument  then  is  this — Because  we  cannot  keep 
people  from  abusing  our  sentiments,  therefore  they  cannot  be 
true.  Would  you,  as  Brother  R.  asks,  plead  for  an  imfienitent 
application  to  Christ,  in  which  the  heart  is  still  hard-?'  B. 
6  No  ;  but  I  conceive  of  the  sinner  being  changed  by  faith  ;  and 
not  previous  to  it.  The  Word  is  the  means  of  his  change.  I 
read  Sandeman  some  years  ago ;  and,  though  I  disapproved  of 
many  things,  yet  I  approved  of  that.  He  proves,  that  the  sinner 
must  come  to  Christ,  without  any  good  disposition  whatever. 
F.  4  If  he  had  said,  as  the  ground,  or  warrant  of  his  coming, 
I  should  say  the  same.'  B.  *  You  cannot  turn  people's  at- 
tention from  it :  if  you  make  it  necessary  they  will  dwell  upon 
it',  f.  *  Pray,  Sir,  how  do  you  go  daily  to  Christ  ?  Do  you 
not  still  go,  as  a  perishing  sinner  ?'  B.  <•  Yes  ;  but  not  as  an 
unconverted  sinner.'  F.  *  That  is,  you  are  conscious  that  you 
are  the  subject  of  a  good  disposition,  and  yet  you  make  it  no  part 
of  your  warrant  to  apply  to  Christ:  why  may  not  a  penitent 
sinner,  on  his  first  application  to  Christ,  do  the  same  ?'  " 

«  Oct.  9,   1795. 

"  I  received  your  parcel,  containing  several  American  publica- 
tions. I  have  not  had  time  to  read  them  through,  though  I  have 
looked  over  some  of  them.  I  did  not  quite  like  Mr.  Bell's  mode 
of  appealing  to  <  the  unerring  oracles  of  true  fihilosofihy  and 
the  Word  of  God.'  God's  Word  is,  or  is  not  a  sufficient 
rule,  from  whence  the  man  of  God  may  be  thoroughly 
furnished.  What  is  philosophy,  that  it  should  become  an 
*  oracle,'  by  which  to  try  sentiments  in  divinity  ?  See  Jonathan 
Edwards's  Thoughts  on  the  Revival.  Part  I.  p.  4.  Dr.  EdWards, 
Dr.  Hopkins,  and  others  of  their  best  divines,  justly  inveigh 
against  human  authority  in  religion :  I  mean,  taking  up  with 
a  sentiment,  on  account  of  the  men  of  great  name  that  have 
held  it ;  but  what  is  philosophy,  but  human  opinion?*  Has  it 

*  "  Philosophy  is  human  opinion,  formed  without  the  Bible.  Is  that 
more  an  oracle,  than  human  opinion  formed  from  it  ?  1  grant,  that  right 


fcR    FULLER.  217 

Not  varied  in  every  age  ?  I  have  no  objection  to  such  a  way  of 
advancing  truth,  as  consists  in  pointing  out  it's  rationality  :  on 
the  contrary,  it  is  a  great  satisfaction  to  feel  both  Scripture 
and  reason  on  our  side  ;  and  so  it  is  to  find  great  and  good  men 
agreeing  with  us  in  important  doctrines ;  but,  as  I  would  not 
make  an  *  oracle*  of  them,  neither  would  I  of  a  set  of  human 
opinions,  though  they  may  go  under  the  name  of  philosophy. 
Philosophy  seems  to  me,  out  of  its  place,  when  seated  upon 
the.  bench  by  the  side  of  God's  xvord :  the  bar  is  the  highest 
station  to  which  it  ought  to  be  admitted." 

"Oct.  26,  1796. 

'"  The  report  of  my  fireaching  in  Braybrook  church  is  true  ; 
bint  the  report,  that  the  clergyman  or  myself  have  suffered  any 
inconvenience,  is  not  so.  Nor  have  I  any  apprehensions  on 
that  score.  The  fact  was  thus  :  Mr.  Broughton,  of  Braybrook 
Lodge,  had  a  son,  about  20  years  of  age,  who  died.  The 
young  man's  desire  was,  that  I  should  preach  a  funeral  sermon 
at  his  interment,  from  Jcr.  xxxi.  18 — 20.  Mr.  Ayer,  the  Baptist 
minister  came  to  me,  the  day  before  his  burial,  to  inform  me. 
I  said  to  him,  *  And  where  are  we  to  be  ?  the  meeting  house 
will  not  hold  half  the  people.*  He  said  he  did  not  know.  c  I 
do  not  know,'  said  I,  «  where  we  can  be,  unless  they  would  lend 
us  the  church.'  This  I  said  merely  in  pleasantry,  and  without 
the  most  distant  idea  of  asking  for  it.  Mr.  A  however,  went 
home,  and  told  the  young  man's  father  what  I  had  said.  *  I 
will  go,'  said  he,  <  and  ask  the  clergyman.'  He  went.  '  I  have 
no  objection,'  said  the  old  man,  (who  is  a  good-tempered  man, 
but  lies  under  no  suspicion  of  either  evangelical  sentiments,  or 
of  being  righteous  overmuch,)  '  if  it  could  be  done  with  safety  ; 
but  I  reckon  it  would  be  unsafe.'  Mr  B.  took  this  for  an  an- 
swer in  the  negative.  But,  the  same  clay,  the  old  clergyman 
rode  over  to  Harborough,  and  inquired,  I  suppose,  of  some  attor- 
ney. He  was  told,  no  ill  consequences  would  follow  towards 

\ 

reason  never  errs  :  but  what  is,  at  all  times,  called  philosophy,  may  : 
and,  to  say,  that  we  make  right  veason  or  true  philosophy  our  oracle,  is 
taking  it  for  granted,  that  we  have  found  out  what  right  reason  and  tru« 
philosophy  is,  in  all  cases,  which  is  more  than  can  be  justly  pretended." 

28 


218  y  MEMO1KS    OF 

him  :  if  any,  they  would  fall  upon  me.  He  then  came  back,  an$ 
just  before  the  funeral,  told  Mr.  B.  what  he  had  learned, 
adding, '  I  do  not  wish  Mr.  F.  to  injure  himself;  but,  if  he  choose 
to  run  the  hazard,  he  is  welcome  to  the  church/  Mr.  B.  told 
me  this.  We  then  carried  the  corpse  up  to  the  church,  and 
the  old  man  went  through  the  service  out  of  doors.  It  was 
nearly  dark,  very  cold  and  damp  ;  and  about  5  or  600  were 
gathered  together.  The  meeting  would  not  hold  above  100, 
and  1  should  have  taken  a  great  cold  to  have  been  abroad.  I 
did  not  believe  the  attorney's  opinion,  that  they  could  hurt  me, 
unless  it  were  through  the  cltrgyman.  I,  therefore  went  up  to 
him,  thanked  him  for  his  offer,  and  accepted  it,  He  stayed  to 
hear  me  :  and  I  can  truly  say,  I  aimed  and  longed  for  his  sal- 
vation. After  sermon,  he  shook  hands  with  me  before  all  the 
people  ;  saying,  '  Thank  you  Sir,  for  your  serious,  pathetic 
discourse  :  I  hope  no  ill  consequences  will  befal  either  thee  or 
me.'  Next  day,  I  rode  with  him  some  miles,  on  my  way  home. 
'  I  like  charity,'  said  he ;  *  Christians  should  be  charitable  to  one 
another.'  I  have  heard  nothing  since,  and  expect  to  hear  nc 
more  about;  it* 

"  We  have  had  nearly  twenty  added  this  autumn.  Our 
place  is  crowded  more  than  when  we  enlarged  before." 

"Jan.  1,  1799. 

"  I  was  gone  to  Nottingham,  when  yours  arrived.  Last 
Lord's  day,  I  preached  a  sermon  to  old  people,  from  Psa.  Ixxi. 
9.  in  which  *  O  Absalom,  my  son,  my  son !'  had  a  place;  but 
that  is  a  subject  I  could  only  toucn. 

*k  First.  The  blessing  desired — that  God  would  not  cast  him 
off?  nor  forsake  him  in  old  age.  I  supposed  the  Psalm  written 
about  the  time  of  Absalom's  conspiracy.  God  had  cast  off  his 
predecessor,  Saul,  and  things  looked  as  if  he  now  meant  to  cast 
him  off.  His  people  also  seemed,  by  joining  with  Absalom, 

*  The  Bishop,  however,  at  a  visitation,  did  speak  to  the  clergyman  on 
the  subject,  who  admitted  the  fact  "  Well,  did  he  prav  for  the  king  ?" 
said  the  Diocesan.  "  Yes,  very  fervently."  "  And  what  did  he  preach 
qbout  ?"  *'  Why,  about  the  common  salvation,"  was  the  reply.  On  which 
*he  Bishop  only  told  him,  he  roust  not  do  so  again. 


MR.  FULLER. 

Opposed  to  cast  him  off.  Hence,  the  force  of  the  petition.  Old 
men  do  not  always  put  up  this  petition.  If  the  desires  of  many 
of  them  were  put  into  words,  they  would  be,  that  they  might 
save  money,  retain  power,  Sec.  Covetousness  is  particularly 
the  sin  of  old  age.  The  reason  may  be  ;  in  early  life,  corrup- 
tion has  a  number  of  channels  to  flow  in — sensuality,  pride,  &c. 
but,  in  age,  these  are  stopped,  or  nearly  so,  by  the  decay  of  the 
natural  powers  and  passions  ;  and,  from  hence,  the  whole  flows 
in  one  or  two  channels.  But  these  things  will  soon  forsake  us, 
•r  we  must  soon  leave  them.  The  favour  and  presence  of  God 
should  be  the  object  of  our  desire. — I  considered, 

"  Secondly.  Some  of  the  peculiar  circumstances  of  old  age, 
which  render  this  blessing  necessary,  [l.]  Old  age  is  a  time 
of  little  natural  enjoyment.  2  Sam.  xix.  35.  The  more  need 
therefore  for  others.  It  is  a  soil  on  which  that  kind  of  pleasure 
will  not  grow  ;  but  the  joys  of  true  religion  will.  Psa.  xcii  14. 
6  Fruit  in  old  age.'  Isa.  xl.  30,  31.  Be  this,  therefore,  our  object, 
p.]  It  is  a  time  in  which  the  troublfs  of  life  are  often  known 
to  increase.  Many  are  poor,  and  can  struggle  no  longer  with 
penury ;  and  so  sink  under  their  hardships.  Poor  old  men  ! 
this  prayer  befits  your  lips. — Others  have  families,  and  live  to 
see  their  children's  miseries,  or,  what,  (if  we  fear  God,)  is  worse, 
their  evil  courses.  How  fit  the  language  from  the  lips  of  those 
whose  gray  hairs  are  going  down  with  sorrow  to  the  grave  !— 
Others  lose  their  friends  by  death.  Youth  is  the  time  ot  form- 
ing connexions,  which  is  a  source  of  pleasure  ;  and  age,  of 
those  connexions  being  dissolved,  which  is  a  source  of  pain. 
How  many  poor  widows  do  I  now  address,  who  are  left  in  a 
world  of  care  and  sorrow,  to  serve  alone  !  Does  not  this  prayer 
befit  your  lips  ? — Finally,  It  is  at  this  period,  that  we  often  have 
to  reap  the  bitter  fruits  of  the  sins  of  earlier  years.  Disobe- 
dience to  parents  is  often  followed  by  disobedience  in  children  ; 
neglect  of  family  government,  by  family  ruin,  as  in  Eli's  casej 
and  criminal  indulgences  in  youth,  by  similar  practices  in  our 
children.  David  had  his  troubles  in  younger  life  ;  but  they 
were  light,  compared  with  those  which  respected  Amnon,  Ta- 
rnar,  and  Ahsalom.  Here,  impurity  and  blood  re-appeared, 
and  wounded  his  heart.  [3.]  Old  age  is  a  time  in  which  fhc 


220  MEMOIRS  ojr 

troubles  of  life  not  only  increase,  but  become  leas 
Young  people  will  weather  theirs ;  but  it  is  not  so  with  the 
aged.  Pains  of  mind  resemble  pains  of  body  :  young  people 
will  work  them  off;  but,  in  old  people,  they  remain,  and  are 
carried  to  the  grave.  Jacob  had  hardships,  when  at  Padan- 
aram  ;  the  heat  by  day  and  the  frost  by  night ;  but  he  forgot 
them  in  a  little  time:  not'so,  when, after  having  lost  his  beloved 
Rachel,  a  garment  was  brought  to  him  covered  with  blood  i 
Is  this,  or  any  thing  like  it,  the  condition  of  any  here  ?  So  much 
the  more  necessary  the  petition — [4.]  Old  age  is  a  time  that 
ougat  to  command  respect,  and  does  so  among  dutiful  children 
and  ail  serious  Christians  ;  but  it  is  often  known  to  be  accom- 
jianied  bij  neglect.  This  is  the  case,  especially,  where  they  are 
poor  and  dependent.  It  has  been  the  case  where  public  char- 
acters have  iost  their  youthful  vivacity,  and  the  brilliancy  of  their 
talents.  In  these  cases,  how  fit  the  petition.  [5.]  It  is  a  period 
bordering  on  d^ath  and  eternity.  The  enjoyments  of  life  are 
more  than  half  gone  ;  and  the  remainder  hang  on  a  thread  more 
than  half  broken. 

"  Thirdly.  I  inquired,  in  what  cases  there  are  grounds  to 
Jiope  tins  petition  will  be  granted  ?  Not  all  old  men  enjoy  God's 
favour  and  presence.  There  are  men  tottering  on  the  brink  ot 
the  grave,  and  yet  wicked ;  yea,  ripe  in  wickedness.  Merce- 
nary, deceitful,  crafty,  oppressive  :.  even  those  sins  which  they 
can  no  longer  act,  through  a  failure  in  their  powers,  they  will 
rccal  in  their  defiled  imagination,  and  repeat  in  conversation,  to 
the  corruption  of  youth.  Ah  !  wicked  old  man  !  God  will  cast 
you  off.  Age  itseif  entitles  you  to  no  respect  from  man  ;  nor 
\viii  you  find  mercy  from  God.  Think,  particularly  of  two  pas- 
sages :  Isa.lxv.  20.  and  Psa.  Ixviii  21. 

"  Who  then  will  be  found  sharers  in  this  blessing  ?  [l.J  It 
is  certain,  that  if  iv~  have  been  God's  servants  from  our  youth) 
he  Vi'.  not  cast  us  off  in  our  old  age.  David  pleaded  this,  ver. 
5.  !  7.  O  how  was  this  truth  verified  in  the  old  age  and  death 
of  Jacob.  Daniel,  Paul,  8cc.  [2.]  Though  we  should  not  have 
b-'ivi  '-is  s-  vants  in  youth,  yet  if*  in  old  age>  even  from  thence, 
•W  seek  him  with  all  our  hearts,  he  will  be  found  of  us,  and 
will  not  forsake  us.  He  will  not  refuse,  even  at  the  eleventh 


MR.    FOLLER. 

hpur.  [3  ]  Though  you  should  never  have  been  his  servants 
unto  this  day  ;  but  have  grown  gray  under  Satan's  yoke,  and 
are  now  a  poor,  miserable  creature,  just  ready  to  fall  into  hell 

yet>  if  from  htnce  you  shall  seek  the  Lord  our  God,  with 

all  your  heart,  and  with  all  your  soul,  he  will  be  found  of  you  ; 
for  the  Lord  our  God  is  a  merciful  God  !  If  with  all  your 
heart  you  only  put  up  this  prayer,  Cast  me  not  off  in  the  time 
of  old  age-,  &c.  he  will  not  cast  you  off,  but  will  stand  your 
friend,  when  you  are  forsaken  by  the  whole  world. 

"  Thus  I  have  half  filled  my  letter  with  a  sermon  ;  but  you 
will  excuse  it.  I  do  not  think  it  will  be  in  my  power  to  come 
to  Bristol  this  year.  You  know  Brother  Pearce's  condition.  I 
am  rejoiced  to  find  he  gets  a  little  better,  and  that  they  propose 
obtaining  an  assistant  for  him :  but,  if  he  should  recover,  he 
cannot  do  that  at  present,  for  the  Mission,  which  he  has  done. 
Ward  says,  if  one  of  us  could  go  to  Manchester  and  Liverpool, 
we  might  get  £100.  at  each  place.  I  suppose  we  must  try  in 
the  spring  ;  and  that  may  fall,  perhaps,  to  my  share.  I  thank 
you,  however,  for  your  love;  and  should  feel  as  much  pleasure 
in  coming,  as  you  would  in  receiving  me.  Nottingham  people 
were  very  friendly  ;  they  mean  that  Brother  Pearce  and  I 
should  go  alternately,  and  have  an  annual  collection  Sec.'* 

"April  5,  1799, 

"  I  remember  my  visit  to  Bristol  with  pleasure,  and  the 
treatment  of  friends  there  with  gratitude.  My  love  to  all  who 
may  inquire  after  me.  I  hope  the  students  do  not  smoke  more; 
or  longer,  than  when  I  came.  I  must  say,  however,  that  I  rel- 
ished several  pipes  in  their  company.  I  earnestly  wish  they 
may  steer  clear  of  the  ditch  and  the  quagmire.  It  is  of  vast 
importance  for  a  minister  to  be  decidedly  on  the  side  of  God, 
against  himself  as  a  sinner,  and  against  an  apostate  world. 
Nor  is  it  less  important,  that  he  have  an  ardent  love  to  Christ, 
and  the  gospel  of  salvation  by  free  grace.  I  wish  they  may  so 
believe  and  feel  and  preach  the  truth,  as  to  find  their  message 
an  important  reality,  influencing  their  own  souls  and  those  of* 
others.  Let  them  beware  of  so  preaching  doctrine,  as  to  forget 
to  declare  all  the*  counsel  of  God,  all  the  precepts  of  the  word, 

1 


222  MEMOIRS    OF 

Lot  them  equally  beware  of  so  dwelling  upon  the  preceptive 
part  of  Scripture,  as  to  forget  the  grand  principles  on  which 
alone  it  can  be  carried  into  effect.  We  may  contend  for  prac- 
tical religion,  and  yet  neglect  the  practice  of  religion  1  should 
not  w^ite  thus,  if  I  did  not  know  that  they  would  take  kindly 
the  hints  I  may  give  of  this  sort,  or  any  other." 

«  Jan.  27,  1800. 

«  Dr.  Erskine,in  a  short  note,  told  me,  as  well  as  you<  that 
he  did  not  agree  with  me,  in  Part  II.  Chap.  IV.  of  The  Gosfiel 
its  own  Witness,  Note.  Dr.  Stuart  is  also  alarmed  about  it.  I 
have  received  a  long  letter,  from  a  very  mild  and  judicious  man, 
Mr.  Aikman,  of  Edinburgh,  which  I  have  answered.  The 
question  wholly  turns  on  the  nature  of  Christ's  merits.  If  they 
be  a  fiurchase*  in  a  literal  sense,  or,  (to  speak  in  other  lan- 
guage,) if  they  merit  in  a  way  of  condignity,  I  am  wrong :  but 
if  only  in  a  way  of  congruity,  it  is  otherwise.  At  present,  the 
latter  appears,  to  me,  to  be  the  truth. — ['.]  Because  it  stems 
inconsistent  with  the  perfection  of  the  divine  nature,  to  suppose* 
that  any  thing  done  by  any  being  whatsoever,  can  lay  him  under 
•bligation  to  bestow  favour.  *  Who  hath  given  to  him,  and 
it  shall  be  reckoned  to  him  again  ?'  [2  ]  The  sixteenth  Psalm 
appears,  throughout,  applicable  to  Christ,  and  is  applied  to  him 
in  the  New  Testament ;  and  the  person  there  speaking  says, 
*  My  goodness  extendeth  not  to  thee,*  8cc.  [3  ]  Christ  was 
made  under  the  law  ;  which  must  mean  as  a  covenant,  set-ing 
it  was  to  redeem  us  from  under  it.  But,  if  so  mist  not  the 
nature,  (I  do  not  say  the  degree  or  value,')  of  his  merits  cor- 
respond with  what  ours  would  have  been,  had  we  kept  the  law  I 
In  coming  under  the  law,  he  took  our  place  ;  and  he  found  us 
exposed  to  the  curse,  and  rut  off  from  all  hope  of  everlasting 
life.  By  being  made  a  curse,  he  atoned  for  the  one  ;  and,  by 
being  obedient  unto  death,  he  merited  the  other  :  that  is,  he  did 
that  which  was  so  ivdl-pleasing  to  God,  that  he,  (who  always 
delighted  to  pour  forth  blessedness  in  a  way  that  should  show 
his  love  to  righteousness,)  for  his  sake,  could,  in  perfect  con- 
sistency with  his  character,  bestow  eternal  life  on  all  that  should 
Relieve  in  him* 


MR.    FULLER.  223 

"  I  take  it  for  granted,  that  God's  love  to  his  creatures*  is 
such,  that  he  naturally  delights  to  pour  forth  the  riches  of  his 
goodness  upon  them  ;  provided  it  can  be  done  without  dishonour 
to  his  character.  We  had  placed  ourselves  in  such  a  situation* 
that  this  couid  not  be  done  :  but  Christ,  by  his  life  and  death, 
did  every  thing  that  was  lovely  in  his  sight,  and,  being  a  divine 
person,  his  obedience  was  of  sufficient  value  to  induce  the 
Father  to  justify  millions  for  his  sake.  There  was  a  glorious 
congruity  in  God's  pardoning  sinners  out  of  regard  to  his  sac- 
rifice, and  blessing  tiiem  with  grace  and  glory,  as  the  reward 
of  his  obedience. 

"  Such  appears,  to  me,  to  be  the  Scripture  account  of 
Christ's  merits  ;  and  not  that  he  laid  the  Father  under  such 
obligations,  that  all  he  did  would  be  a  matter  of  strict  right. 
It  is  true,  the  forgiveness  of  our  sins,  and  every  other  blessing, 
is  bestowed  in  perfect  consistency  with  justice ;  yea,  is  an  ex- 
ercise of  rem  un  era  five  justice  towards  Christ.  Thus  I  under- 
stand 1  John  i.  9.  4  He  is  faithful  and  just,'  Sec.  See  2  Thess. 
i.  6,  7." 

"March  5,  1800, 

"  If  the  term  ungodly,  in  Rom.  v.  6.  means  destitute  of  holi- 
ness, must  it  not  follow,  that  Christ  did  not  die  for  the  Old 
Testament  saints,  who  were  at  that  time  in  heaven,  nor  for  his 
own  disciples,  or  any  of  the  good  people,  who  lived  at  that 
time  2" 

"April  1,  1800. 

"  I  have  written  Dr.  Erskine  a  respectful  letter,  giving  my 
reasons  for  what  I  said  in  Part  II.  of  The  Gospel  its  own  Wit- 
ness ;  Chap.  IV.  explaining  more  fully,  and  proposing  some 


*  Yes,  and  the  righteous  Lord  loveth  RIGHTEOUSNESS  :  he  delights  to 
honour  obedience  to  his  own  law  ;  how  much,  then,  must  he  delight  to 
show  himself  well-pleased,  with  that  ohedience  of  his  incarnate  Son,  by 
which  the  law  is  magnified  and  made  honourable,  more  than  it  could  have 
fceen  by  the  unfailing  obedience  of  all  mere  creatures,  both  men  and  an" 
gels,  if  no  one  of  either  species  had  ever  been  chargeable  with  the  least 


MEMOIRS    OF 

little  alteration  in  the  note ;  which  he  since  acknowledges  te 
be  satisfactory.  I  have  much  headache;  my  wife,  who  has 
been  ill,  is  absent ;  my  children  ill  ;  my  head  and  hands  full ; 
but  my  heart  is  supported.  I  had  a  melting  time,  at  the 
Lord's  supper,  last  Sabbath." 

«  May  6,  1800. 

"  You  have  heard  of  the  death  of  dear  Brother  Grant !  WTeil } 
how  mysterious  is  God's  way  !  But  we  shall  approve  it,  when 
we  fully  understand  it.  We  had  a  terrible  hail-storm,  on  Lord's 
day,  between  noons.  The  stones  were  as  large  as  pigeons' 
eggs,  and  broke  all  our  windows  which  stood  in  a  south-west 
direction.  People  fled  to  the  meeting,  I  thought,  like  Joab  to 
the  altar.  I  preached  to  them  on  Jesus  delivering  us  from  the 
wrath  to  come.  \  Thes.  i.  10.  The  storm  was  accompanied 
with  terrible  thunder  and  lightning." 

"Sept.  9,   1801. 

"  I  had  a  letter,  about  a  week  ago,  from  one  of  the  Scotch 
Baptists,  about  order^  discipline,  Sec.  Ill  as  I  was,  I  scratched 
out  the  following  parable.  Dr.  Stuart  [who  was  then  on  a 
visit  at  Kettering,  on  account  of  Mr  Fuller's  severe  illness,] 
saw  it,  and  he  was  so  much  amused  with  it,  that  he  must  needs 
copy  it.  <  In  one  of  the  new  Italian  Republics,  two  indepenfi- 
ent  companies  are  formed  for  the  defence  of  the  country.  Call 
the  one  A,  and  the  other  B.  In  forming  themselves,  and  learn- 
ing their  exercise,  they  each  profess  to  follow  the  mode  of  dis- 
cipline used  by  the  ancient  Romans.  Their  officers,  uniforms, 
and  evolutions,  however,  are,  after  all,  somewhat  different  from 
each  other.  Hence,  disputes  arise,  and  B  refuses  to  march 
against  the  enemy  with  A,  as  being  disorderly.  A  gives  his 
reasons  why  he  thinks  himself  orderly  :  but  they  are  far  from 
satisfying  J5,  who  not  only  treats  him  as  deviating  from  rule, 
but  as  almost  knowing  himself  to  do  so,  and  wilfully  persisting 
in  it.  A,  tired  of  jarring,  marches  against  the  enemy  by  him- 
self. B  sits  at  home,  deeply  engaged  in  studying  order  and 
discipline.  c  If  your  forms  and  rules,  (says  A,)  are  so  prefera- 
ble to  ours,  why  do  you  not  make  use  of  them  r  Discipline  is 
a  mean,  not  an  end.  Be  not  always  boasting  of  your  order,  and 


MR.    FULLER.  225 

reproaching  others  for  the  want  of  it ;  let  us  see  the  use  of  it. 
It  is  true/ like  the  Quakers  in  1745,  you  have  bought  waistcoats 
for  our  soldiers,  and  we  thank  you  for  them ;,  but  we  had  rather 
you  would  fight  yourselves.'  "* 

"Dec.  1,  1801. 

•«  I  allow  you  and  Brother  Sutcliff  to  excel  me  in  wisdom  ; 
especially  in  foreseeing  difficulties:  but  I  fancy  I  excel  you 
both,  (if  it  be  an  excellence,)  in  courage.  1,  therefore,  wish 
to  ad-vise  with  you  both ;  but  to  execute  without  you  " 

«Dtc-  21,   1801. 

"  I  have  lately  had  another  heavy  trial.  Yet,  under  all, 
blessed  be  God,  my  heart  is  fixed,  trusting  in  him.  I  have  sel- 
dom enjoyed  more  habitual  rest  in  God,  than  of  late.  O  t.ow 
sweet  it  is  to  have  no  will  of  my  own,  but  thatol  God  1  1  know 
I  have  an  interest  in  your  intercessions,  and  tuose  ot  many 
other  dear  friends. 

u  A  respected  friend  has  repeatedly  pressed  me  to  write  a 
treatise  on  Spiritual  Pride,  on  the  same  plan  as  tne  Backslider. 
I  have  thougiit  somewhat  on  the  subject,  and  begun  wining. 
This  would  tend  tu  detect  that  subtle  spirit,  which  is,  1  am 
persuaded,  fostered  by  Sandcmanianiam — bland  by  t/iyxclf, 
for  I  am  tiolier  than  ihou.  But  1  teel  myself  much  more 
capable  of  depicting  Antwomian  pride,  than  the  other.  For 
$his  purpose  1  nave  procured  Huntingdon's  works.  But,  in 
reading  them,  1  am  stopped  for  a  time.  I  have  eight  or  nine 
volumes  !  1  never  read  any  thing  more  void  of  true  religion. 
I  do  not  think  of  naming  him,  or  his  works,  or  those  ot  any 
other  person  ;  but  merely  to  draw  pictures,  and  let  the  reader 
judge  who  they  are  like." 

I  received  a  long  letter  from  him,  on  the  19th  of  August, 
1802,  containing  the  copy  of  a  very  mild,  respectful,  and 

*  "  Though  Mr.  M'L.  pleads  for  addresses  to  the  unconverted,  yet  I  un- 
derstand he  scarcely  ever  addresses  them.  Aiid  I  am  informed,  that  it  is 
very  rare  for  any  inst  mces  of  conversion  to  be  heard  of,  under  their 
preaching.'* 

29 


226  MEMOIRS    OF 

Christian  expostulation,  with  an  aged  and  venerable  minister, 
who  had  indulged  some  unjust  suspicions  towards  him,  and 
spread  reports  pretty  extensively,  to  his  disadvantage  j  but,  as 
they  are  now  both  together  in  a  world  full  of  light  and  love, 
and  will  never  misunderstand  one  another  again,  I  choose 
rather  to  omit  inserting  it.  I  think  it  would  be  much  to  the 
credit  of  my  dear  departed  brother,  in  the  judgment  of  all  im- 
partial readers,  but  I  shall  wave  publishing  it,  unless  I  should, 
hereafter,  be  compelled  to  do  so,  by  such  as  resemble  the 
other  glorified  saiut  in  little  else  but  his  defects.  .  This  letter 
was  received  just  before  his  journey  to  Scotland  :  I  had 
another  from  Glasgow,  on  the  same  subject,  Sept.  1 8,1  and  a 
third  aft'jr  his  return,  Oct.  8th.  In  the  last,  he  observes: — 
"  The  kindness  of  the  Scotch,  and  their  attention  in  hearing, 
has  been  very  great.  On  the  week-day,  all  denominations 
came  to  hear ;  and  many,  who  had  been  prejudiced,  seemed 

to  have  their  prejudices  removed." 

\ 

"Dec.  2,1802. 

"  As  to  my  writing  about  Antinomianism^  or  answering  M'L, 
the  truth  is,  I  have,  for  the  last  six  or  eight  months,  had  such  a 
throng  of  other  labour,  that  I  cannot  write  any  thing.  Two 
or  three  days  is  all  I  have  been  able  to  bestow  on  M'L- 
either  to  read  or  to  write.  I  never  meant  any  direct  attack  on 
the  system  of  Hunt ;  but  was  writing,  when  Messrs.  Palmer 
and  Lowell  spoke  to  me  something  on  Spiritual  Pride,  in. 
which  that  system  had  a  conspicuous  station.  But  i  have 
not  been  able  to  touch  it,  since  last  February.  Incessant 
journeys  confound  me,  and  lead  to  incessant  correspondence." 

"March  6,   1803. 

"  You  ask,  in  your  notes  oil  my  manuscript  on  imputation, 
*  Did  not  Christ  deserve,  (at  least  by  compact,}  that  his  see- 
ing of  the  travail  of  his  soul  should  be  insured  to  him  ?' 
Certainly:  and  I  think  it  is  an  exercise,  not  merely  of  faith- 
fulness, for  God  to  forgive  our  sin  for  his  sake;  but  oi  re- 
munerative justice  :  it  is  fit  and  right,  that  the  God  of  right- 
eousness should  so  express  bis  approbation  of  the  sufferings 


MR.    FULLER.  22T 

and  death  of  Christ.     So  far,  I  think  Christ  merited,  deserved, 
or,  if  you  please,,  purchased  our  redemption :  but  it  was  not 
with  such  a  kind  of  purchase,  as  that  wherein   a  creditor,  for 
value  received  of  a  surety,  liberates  a   debtor  ;  which  renders 
the  deliverance  an  act  of  justice,  and  not  of  grace.     [Were  it 
so,]  whatever  grace  there  might  have  been  in  the  provision  of 
the  surety,  there  would  be  no  room  for  the  creditor  to  be  said 
to  have  freely  forgiven  the  debt.  If  we  had  borne  the  full  penalty 
of  the  law  in  our  own  persons,  (could  that  have  been,)  our  libera- 
tion would  have  been  an  act  which  justice  might  have  required, 
in  a  different  sense  from  what  it  does  now.    But,  as  the  penalty, 
though  fully  borne,  was  borne  by  a  substitute,  we  can  have 
no  claim  for  deliverance,  except  what  arises  from  promise,  that 
is,  from  grace  :  we  have  no  more  claim,  than  if  Christ  had  not 
died  ;  but  can  only  plead  for  mercy  in  his  name.     As  to  your 
neighbour's  question,  I  freely  answer,  Christ  had  resfiect,  in  lay- 
ing down  his  life,  to  the  elect  only,  as  those  who  should  be  ulti- 
mately benefited  by  it.     He  asks,  *  Is  there  any  great  differ- 
ence between  saying,  That,  in  consequence  of  the  mediation  of 
Christ,  God  may  pardon  returning  sinners,  if  he  willeth   so  to 
do  ;  and  [saying  that  he  may]  exercise  mercy  in  all  the  meth- 
ods which  sovereign  wisdom  sees  fit  to  adopt  ?'  Answer.    The 
former  leaves  it  to  the  free-will  of  man  to  return  to  God  j  the 
latter  gives  the  Holy  Spirit,  according  to  promise  made  to 
Christ,  to  insure  believing  and  salvation  ;  which  is  the  turning 
point  between  Arminianism  anfl  Calvinism. 

"  As  to  Mr.  M'Lean's  complaint,  I  did  suppose  hjm  to  be  the 
author  of  a  pamphlet  to  which  I  referred  in  my  Appendix ; 
but,  long  before  his  answer  came  out,  I  discovered  my  mistake* 
and  desired  Mr.  Broughton,  who  was  then  at  Edinburgh,  to  make 
my  respects  to  him,  and  to  say  I  was  very  sorry  for  the  mistake, 
but  could  not  now  recal  it.  He  complained,  not  to  me  at  the 
time,  but  in  print,  that  I  did  not  advertise  my  mistake  in  a  mag- 
azine, to  which  I  should  have  had  no  objection,  but  the  thing 
escaped  me,  through  a  multitude  of  other  concerns." 

«  March  29,  1804. 

"  I  hope  Mr 's  conduct  will  be  of  some  use  to  me, 

1  had  had  enough  of  *  good  report*  for  a  sinful  creature  te 


MEMOIRS    OF 

bear  ;  and  am  now  inclined  to  think,  though  I  was  not  aware 
of  it  before,  that  I  have  too  much  rested  in  the  approbation  of 
men.  The  '  evil  reports'  which  have  been  set  on  foot,  have 
tended  to  drive  me  from  that  uncertain  ground,  and  to  cause 
me  to  feel  more  deeply  the  necessity  of  doing  every  thing  with 
an  eye  to  the  approbation  of  God. 

"  The  state  of  our  churches  much  affects  me.  I  do  not  like 
removals,  when  lightly  made.  Some  of  our  ministers  seem 
bitten  by  a  gad-fly." 

In  January,  1804,  he  visited  Portsea;  where  he  informed  me, 
that  he  met  with  much  kind  treatment,  and  collected   107/.  15*. 
3d     He  preached  at  Frome,  by  the  way,  to  a  large  congrega- 
tion.    Some  of  the  good   people  at  Portsea   had  been  rather 
prejudiced  against  him,  and  he  had  heard   some  unfavourable 
reports  of  them  ;  but  both  sides  parted,  seemingly  with  a  better 
opinion  of  each  other.     One   person  said  to  him,  <  Sir,  I  was 
greatly  disappointed  in  you .' — Yes,  and  I  in  you/- — *'I  mean,  in 
hearing  you  last  Lord's  day  morning  ;  I  did  not  expect  to  hear 
such  a  sermon  from  you.' — 4  Perhaps  so  ;  and  I  did  not  expect 
such  treatment  from  you.     I  had  heard  tilings  of  the  Portsea 
people,  which  gave  me  but  a  mean  opinion  of  them  ;  but  I  have 
hitherto  no  cause  to  complain  ;  so  that  we  are  both  agreeably 
disappointed/ — '  Well,  but  I  do  not  like   your  book/ — * You 
do  not  understand  it.' — 4  Oh,  I  cannot  believe  faith  to  be  a  duty  ,- 
we  cannot  believe.' — '  You  seem  to  think  we  ought  to  do  nothing 
but  what  we  can  do.' — *•  True.'—-'  And  we  can  do  nothing.' — 
4  True ' — *  Then  we  otfght  to  do  nothing  .  .  .  and  if  so,  we  have 
no  sin,  and  need  no  Saviour.' — 'O  no,  no,  no!  I  want  to  talk 
more  with  you.' — l  Yes,  but  the  mischief  is  you  cannot  count 
five.' — l  What  do  you  mean  ?' — *  First,  you  say,  we  ought  to  do 
nothing  but  what  we  can  do.     Secondly,  we   can  do  nothing. 
T:.<.n  I  say,  thirdly,  we  eug'ht  to  do  nothing.     Fourthly,  we  have 
no  sin.     Fifthly,  we  need  no  Saviour.'     After  all,  this  person, 
and  all  of  that  stamp,  were  greatly  interested  in  the  preaching, 
and  pressed  me  to  go  to  their  houses;  would   have   it,  that  I 
was    of    their  principles,    &c.    and    were   much  concerned, 
when  I  went  away.     I  told  them,  I  thought  very  differently  Croat 
them,  in  various  respects  ;  but  they  took  all  well :  and  I  prayed 
with  them  before  we  parted*" 


MR.   FULLER.  £29 

In  February,  he  drew  up  a  memorial,  which  was  presented  to 
the  Privy  Council,  against  a  law  passed  by  the  Jamaica  Assem- 
bly, subversive  of  liberty  of  conscience  ;  which  was  favourably 
received.  The  particulars  are  too  long  to  be  inserted  here. 

In  June,  he  visited  Ireland.  He  wrote  to  me,  from  Dublin, 
on  the  6th  ;  mentioning,  that  he  arrived  there  on  the  preceding 
Saturday,  and  had  preached  three  times,  on  the  Lord's  day  ;  but 
the  congregations  were  small.  He  says,  "  My  heart  is  dis- 
mayed to  see  the  state  of  things  here.  The  great  body  of  the 
people  are  Papists.  Even  the  servants,  in  almost  every  family, 
are  Papists.  The  congregations  are  only  a  few  genteel  people, 
scattered  about  the  place.  They  appeared  to  me  like  the  heads 
at  Temple  Bar,  without  bodies.  A  middle  class  of  people  is 
wanting;  and  the  poor  are  kept  distinct,  by  what  appears  as 
strong  as  the  caste  in  India.  I  preached  at  the  Baptist  meeting, 
in  Swift's  Alley,  morning  and  evening,  and  for  Dr.  M'Dowal,  at 
the  Presbyterian  chapel :  I  might  preach,  perhaps,  to  50  in  the 
morning ;  to  200  in  the  afternoon,  in  a  place  that  would  hold 
1000  ;  and  to  50  more,  in  the  evening. 

"  I  have  been  much  engaged  in  company,  yesterday  and 
Monday.  I  was  visited,  yesterday,  by  Mr.  Walker,  a  Sandema- 
nian  clergyman,  who  has  considerable  influence  in  this  city,  and 
who  pronounces,  of  one  of  the  dissenting  ministers  here,  that  he 
preaches  the  gospel,  (because  he  seems  likely  to  embrace  San- 
demanianism,*)  but  the  Bnptist  and  the  Moravianf  ministers  do 
not!  I  found  him,  like  most  of  the  sect,  calm,  acute,  versed  in 
the  Scriptures,  but  void  of  feeling.  He  reminded  me  of  Dr, 
Byrom's  lines, — 

['TisJ  Athens'  owl,  and  not  mount  Zion's  doVe, 
The  bird  of  learning,  not  the  bird  of  love. 

a  I  am  told,  that  one  of  this  stamp  lately  prayed  in  public^ 
fr  Lord,  giv  e  me  head-knowledge ;  the  rest  I  leave  to  thee.'  The 
clergyman  said  to  me,  <  there  are  many  who  call  themselves 
Calvinists  who  are  as  far  from  the  truth  as  Arminians.  I  askedj 

*  He  is  since  recovered  from  this  infection. 

f  Mr.  Hartly,  a  most  pious,  amiable,  and  intelligent  man,  now  matte 
perfect' 


MEMOIRS    OF 

•what  Calvinists  he  referred  to,  and  what  sentiments  ?  He  said, 
*  Those  who  hold  with  qualifications  as  necessary  to  warrant  a 
sinner's  believing.'  I  answered,  I  did  not  know  who  they  were  that 
believed  so.  Mr.  Stennett,  who  sat  by,  said,  '  Some  of  the  high 
Calvinists  might.'  I  assented  to  this,  but  said,  I  utterly  disap- 
proved of  it ;  though  I  could  not,  as  Mr.  W.  seemed  to  do,  con- 
demn all,  as  graceless,  who  held  it.  He  seemed  surprised,  and 
expressed  his  pleasure  that  I  disapproved  of  the  principle ; 
plainly  proving,  that  he,  with  other  Sandemanians,  confounds 
our  pleading  for  an  holy  disposition  as  necessary  to  believing, 
for  necessary  to  incline  us  to  believe,]  with  pleading  for  it,  as 
giving  us  a  "warrant  to  believe." 

I  omit  entering  on  a  detail  of  the  state  of  the  Baptist  church 
at  Swift's  Alley,  into  which  they  invited  Mr.  Fuller  to  examine, 
and  to  give  them  his  advice.  Discipline  had  long  been  neg- 
lecto-d;  very  discordant  sentiments  were  entertained  by  the 
members  of  the  church ;  and  some  were  sadly  conformed,  in 
their  manners,  to  the  dissipation  common  among  those  wh  are 
wholly  men  of  the  world.  Mr.  F.  certainly  acted  a  very  con- 
scientious and  decided  part,  under  the  evident  influence  of 
inflexible  integrity  and  zeal  for  truth  and  purity.  But  his  efforts, 
at  that  time,  had  but  little  success  All  our  Irish  churches  had 
long  been  in  a  very  low  state.  Yet  things  arc  now  more  prom- 
ising, in  that  kingdom,  than  for  many  years  back.* 

"Aug.  20,  1F04. 

« I  have,  of  late,  been  much  tried  in  preaching.  When  I 
have  gone  into  the  pulpit,  I  have  had,  in  a  manner,  nothing  to 
say ;  and  yet,  when  engaged,  have  not  only  been  carried  through, 
but  have  felt  the  subject  more  than  usually  interesting.  My 
heart  often  shrinks  at  the  state  of  the  churches  in  our  Associa- 
tion, and  of  my  own  congregation,  and,  what  is  worst  of  all,  at  my 
own  unfruitfulness.  The  week  before  last,  I  was  much  im- 
pressed in  reading  John  xv.  5 — 7.  concluding,  that,  if  I  dwelt  in 
Christ,  and  Christ's  words  in  me,  I  should  be  more  successful 

*  See  the  Reports  of  the  Baptist  Society  for  promoting  the  Gospel  « 
Ireland,  by  esUtoiislubg  ochoola  for  teaching  the  uauve  irisb,  fee. 


MR.   FULLER.  231 

in  prayer.  The  next  Lord's  day,  I  preached  from  the  seventh 
verse,  with  much  interest,  on  the  connexion  between  these 
things.  Yesterday,  having  been  discouraged  by  several  things 
in  the  church,  I  preached  from  1  Thes.  iii.  8.  *  We  live,  if  ye 
stand  fast  in  the  Lord,'  on  the  connexion  between  the  latter  and 
the  former.  I  have,  of  late,  felt  some  earnest  longings  of  mind, 
that  1  might  know  Christ,  and  the  power  of  his  resurrection, 
Sec.  All  that  I  have  yet  known  seems  to  be  as  nothing.  I  dare 
not  pray  for  trials ;  but,  if  the  heaviest  affliction  might  but  issue, 
as  did  that  of  brother  M.  I  think  I  could  welcome  it.  At  those 
times  in  which  I  have  felt  my  unfruitfulness  most,  I  have  thought 
of  John  xv.  2.  and  have  trembled,  lest  God  should  take  me  away, 
and  prayed  that  he  would  not  do  this,  bui  purge  me,  that  I  might 
bring  forth  more  fruit :  while  such  are  the  exercises  of  my  mind> 
the  idea  of  establishing  one's  reputation  at  the  expense  of 
another,  is  foreign  and  odious,  nor  am  I  conscious  of  such  a  de- 
sire ever  crossing  my  mind,  even  in  the  worst  of  frames." 

"Feb.  28,  1805- 

"  I  have  read  Mr.  Walker,  of  Dublin's  pamphlet,  on  leaving 
the  church,  and  made  a  few  remarks  on  two  blank  pages  of  it. 
There  is  a  great  mixture  of  good  and  evil  in  these  writings.  He 
is  ingenious,  and  seems  conscientious ;  but  the  general  cast  of 
his  religion  appears  to  have  little  of  the  humble,  the  holy,  and 
the  affectionate.  Strife  seems  to  be  his  element.  You  have, 
pressed  me  to  answer  Mr.  M1L.  Others  have  been  averse  from 
it.  I  believe  I  should  have  answered  it  long  ago,  but  for  the 
length  of  it.  It  is  not  what  he  has  written,  but  the  quantity 
of  it  that  has  confounded  me. 

"  I  preached,  lately  on  John  iii.  1 3. — No  one  hath  known  the 
mind  of  God,  save  he  that  was  always  with  him,  and  is  still  with 
him,  dwelling  as  in  his  bosom.  See  Deut.  xxx.  12.  The  de- 
sign is,  to  teach  us,  that  no  man  shall  be  able  to  find  out  the 
heavenly  wisdom,  but  he  that  cometh  to  Christ,  and  taketh 
him  for  his  guide.  Matth.  xi.  27.  I  proprosed — 1.  To  notice 
a  few  particulars  in  which  men  have,  in  all  ages,  been  striving 
to  ascend  to  heaven,  but  striving  in  vain. — 2.  To  show,  how  that, 
in  which  all  men  have  failed,  is  accomplished  by  Christ." 


MEMOIRS    OP 

«  March  9,  1805. 

«  My  remarks  on  Walker  are  but  few.  They  are  as  follow : 
£l.]  What  he  states  as  the  gospel,  (p.  7 — 9.)  is  most  surely  be- 
lieved by  us;  and  the  belief  of  it  with  all  the  heart,  considered 
as  saving  faith.  [2.]  But,  though  the  terms  he  uses,  when 
explaining  the  gospel,  be,  for  aught  I  see,  unexceptionable ; 
yet,  he  appears,  all  along,  to  affix  such  ideas  to  them,  as  renders 
the  gosfiel,  in  his  mouth,  something  different  from  what  it  is 
in  ours ;  and  upon  this  undefined  difference,  he  seems  eager 
to  condemn  the  body  of  those  whom  we  hope  to  be  serious 
Christians,  as  unbelievers.  [3.]  Though  we  do  not  call  the 
belief  of  the  gospel  c  a  barren  speculative  notion  '  (p.  1 1  )  yet 
we  think  there  is  such  a  thing,  and  that  it  is  very  common  among 
professing  Christians,  and  no  where  more  so,  than  among  the 
admirers  of  Sandeman.  Such  we  reckon  the  l  faith  without 
works,'  spoken  of  by  James.  [4.]  Though  we  lay  no  stress 
Upon  faith,  <•  as  an  act  or  exercise  of  th-  mind,'  as  4  forming 
the  ground  of  our  hope  ;  yet  we  think  it  is  an  act,  and  an  holy 
one  too,  as  much  as  repentance,  hope,  love,  or  any  other  grace;* 
and  that  upon  4  the  right  performance  of  this,'  or,  in  other 
words,  upon  the  mind  of  man  being  brought  to  agree  with  the 
ynind  of  God  in  the  gospel,  depends  the  reality  of  our  personal 
religion.  [5.]  His  former  reasons  in  favour  of  establishments, 
were,  some  of  them  ingenious,  of  which  he  seems  sufficiently 
aware  ;  (p.  2 — 9.)  but,  like  many  other  of  his  reasonings,  they 
are  distinguished  more  by  their  subtlety  than  by  simplicity. 
[6.]  His  present  reasons  for  leaving  the  church,  and  his  state- 
ment of  the  nature  of  a  Christian  church,  appear  to  me  very 
good.  His  gloss  on  1  Tim.  iii.  15.  ([>.  24,  25.)  and  his  supposed 
case  of  the  answer  of  the  church  at  Philippi,  (p.  44 — 46.)  are 
excellent.  Whether  his  church,  at  Dublin,  answers  to  the  pic- 
ture he  draws,  is  another  question.  If  what  I  heard  be  true* 
they  are  too  much  eaten  up  with  spiritual  pride,  and  employ 
much  of  their  time  in  condemning  others.  [7.3  With  respect  to 
forming  churches  on  the  apostolic  plan,  there  certainly  are 
*  general  rules  ;'  (in  many  cases  however,  that  is  all ;)  and  to 
these  rules  we  ought  inviolably  to  adhere.  All  connexions  in 
which  these  rules  or  commandments  cannot  be  observed,  ought, 


MR.    FULLER.  233 

Ibr  any  thing  I  see  to  the  contrary,  to  be  withdrawn  from.  We 
should  however  be  careful,  lest  we  make  rules  where  Christ 
and  his  apostles  have  not  made  them.  [8.]  The  reasoning  from 
prayer  and  praise  to  the  Lord's  sujifier,  is,  I  think,  sophistical. 
These  are  moral  duties,  binding  on  all.  Whether  they  join  in 
them,  or  not,  they  ought  so  to  do.  But  baptism  and  the  Lord's 
supper  are  fio.nfive  institutes,  which  are  not  the  immediate 
duty  of  unbelievers.  I  acknowledge  however,  that  when  en- 
gaged in  prayer  and  praise,  and  using  the  plural  pronouns,  as 
when  I  say,  We  desire,  Sec.  I  always  consider  myself  as  joining 
with  as  many  as  do  join  in  it,  and  that  all  others  are  mere  spec- 
tators. It  is  my  duty  to  pray  for  them,  and  that  in  their  presence  ; 
but  not  to  consider  them  as  parties  in  the  petition.  Yet  it  is 
not  for  me  to  draw  the  line.  There  may  be  some  who  are  out 
of  the  pale  of  visible  communion,  who  may  join  ;  and  others  in 
it  who  may  not  join.  If  I  were  the  head  of  a  family  where  I  had 
no  reason  to  think  there  were  any  Christian  but  myself,  I  would 
pray  publickly,  without  using  any  pronouns,  plural  or  singular ; 
and  should  do  the  same  before  a  congregation  like  that  of  Ste- 
phen. I  had  understood,  that  Mr.  W.  refused  to  admit  any  but 
the  church,  in  time  of  prayer  and  praise ;  but  this,  according  to 
his  last  page,  does  not  seem  to  be  accurate.  I  have  heard, 
that  the  church  and  spectators  are  in  different  rooms. — [Or, 
have  a  visible  mode  of  separation.]  If  so,  I  believe  it  is  far  from 
the  spirit  of  the  gospel." 

"Feb.  3,  1806. 

"...  Our  enlargement  will  cost  1000  guineas.  We  have 
full  400  yet  to  raise.  I  believe  nearly  1200  people  crowded  in, 
at  the  funeral  of  one  of  our  members,  with  whom  you  were  long 
•well  acquainted.  We  were  in  great  danger  of  mischief,  through 
some  rude  boys,  who  excited  an  alarm  of  the  galleries  giving 
way.  We  have  humbled  them  before  the  justices,  and  yestei*- 
day,  they  publickly  begged  pardon  of  the  congregation.  [And  at 
the  same  time  a  paper  with  their  signatures,  expressing  their 
contrition,  was  read  in  the  other  places  of  worship.]  Mr.  G. 
made  a  good  end.  He  said  to  me,  a  little  before  he  died,  « I 
have  been  a  great  sinner  j  but  I  have  loved  the  Lord  Jesus  Christ 
SO 


234  MEMOIRS    OF 

...  I  have  indulged  in  speculations  ;  but  I  have  never  lost, 
sight  of  Christ  as  the  only  way  of  salvation.  Speculations  are 
nothing  now  .  .  .  Christ  is  all  and  in  all.  He  is  my  only  hope  .  . 
Works  are  nothing  .  .  .  I  think  nothing  of  them,  but  as  evil.' 
He  repeated  several  hymns  with  much  feeling ;  particularly, — 
4  A  guilty,  weak,  and  helpless  worm,'  Sec.  and — '  Jesus,  lover  of 
my  soul,'  &c.  He  had  all  his  servants  and  several  of  his  work- 
men round  him,  and  talked  to  them  very  impressively.  Eight 
of  our  members  have  died  within  a  few  months,  and  have  all 
ended  their  course  happily." 

«  June  6,  1 806. 

"  While  in  London,  I  had  an  uncommon  share  of  labour.  I 
collected  upwards  of  800  pounds  in  three  weeks.  Our  Associa- 
tion at  Leicester  was  very  pleasant.  The  increase  this  year,  was 
88.  The  prayers  of  some  of  our  young  ministers  did  my  heart 
good.  A  poor  collier  at  Loscoe,  seems  to  have  been  very  useful 
among  the  poor  ;  29  were  added  this  year  to  that  church.  A 
poor  man  also  of  the  church  at  Braunston,  went  up  a  few  years 
since,  to  work  at  Ivinghoe,  in  Buckinghamshire  ;  and  by  talking 
to  the  poor  ignorant  people,  has  been  the  instrument  of  raising 
a  church,  of  above  20  members. 

"  A  day  or  two  ago,  I  received  a  letter  from  Mr.  Robert 
Ralston  of  Philadelphia,  informing  me  that  the  1000  guineas 
taken  thither  by  Capt.  Wikes,  had  by  the  benevolence  of  our 
American  brethren,  become  6724  dollars,  (about  1550  pounds,) 
6024  of  which  had  been  sent  to  Mr.  Carey,  in  the  Bam  bridge  ^ 
Capt.  Josiah,  free  of  freight ,  and  most  of  them  gratuitously 
insured,  by  kind  friends  underwriting  them.  I  have  written  an- 
swers, with  thanks  to  the  parties. 

"...  The  great  defect  of  Sandeman's  faith,  is  its  being 
denied  to  have  any  tiling  holy  in  its  nature.  Mr.  Scott's  piece, 
therefore  is  to  the  point.  The  faith  which  justifies,  supposes 
repentance.  This  is  manifest  by  all  those  Scriptures  which 
teach  that  repentance  is  necessary  to  forgiveness,  which  for- 
giveness is  an  essential  part  of  justification.  It  is  not  enough  to 
say,  faith  produces  repentance.  This  it  does,  as  all  the  graces 
promote  each  other  ;  but  it  includes  it,  as  much  as  justification 


MR.    FULLER.  235 

I 

includes  pardon,  without  being  pardon.*  The  gospel  is  indeed 
suited  to  men's  circumstances^  as  guilty,  ungodly,  Sec.  but  not  to 
their  /irofiensities,  which  it  must  be  if  it  were  such  as  an  ungodly 
mind  could  comply  with.  '  No  blessing  can  be  obtained,  pre- 
vious to  faith  in  Christ.'  True  :  but  if  it  be  not  bestowed  pre- 
viously, how  came  we  to  believe  ?  We  are  apjirehcnded,  in  order 
to  our  apprehending.  Mr.  M's  reasoning  would  explain  away 
all  divine  influence  as  necessary  to  believing,  or  any  influence, 
except  that  of  evidence.  He  has  4  read  no  controversy,'  he 
says  ;  but  he  has  got  his  ideas  from  others.  I  wish  he  would 
read  Mr.  Scott.  If  seeing  the  Son  were  made  an  entitling  qual- 
ification to  believing  in  him,  it  might  be  injurious  ;  but  to  make 
it  necessary,  in  the  nature  of  tilings,  is  different.  Believing  the 
gospel  is  an  immediate  duty  ;  but  in  what  way  ?  believing  it 
impenitentiy  ?  Surely  not.  By  this  reasoning,  it  is  not  a  sinner's 
duty  to  think,  and  examine  evidence  till  after  he  has  believed  ; 
lest  such  thinking  should  be  an  entitling  condition.  Respecting 
the.  priority  of  repentance  and  faith  ;  if  by  faith,  be  meant  faith 
in  God  as  a  righteous  governor,  it  precedes  repentance  :  for  we 
cannot  be  sorry  for  offending  God,  without  believing  him  to  be 
holy,  just  and  good  :  but  faith  in  ou»  Lord  Jesus  Christ  follows 
repentance  towards  God  :  for  there  is  no  grace  in  the  gospel,  but 
upon  the  supposition  of  God  being  in  the  right,  and  we  in  the 
wrong ;  and  consequently,  none  to  be  believed  in."t 

*  Or,  as  the  terminus  ad  quern  must  include  a  terminus  a  quo  ;  the  object 
to  which  we  turn,  must  include  somewhat  from  which  we  turn.  R. 

f  Can  I  believe  a  surety  paid  ten  thousand  talents  for  me,  to  a  person  to 
whom  I  never  believed  that  I  owed  an  hundred  pence  ?  Jfl  ad  mint  d  such 
a  fact,  I  must  think  the  creditor  unjust,  and  the  surety  untvise  While  L 
verily  believe  the  claim  to  have  been  illegal,  whatever  might  have  been 
my  surety's  kind  intention  in  paying  it,  I  must  secretly  think  myselt  injur- 
ed by  his  admitting  it,  as  well  as  by  the  creditor's  demanding-  it;  and,  cer- 
tainly I  cannot  sincerely  admire  the  kindness  of  the  latter,  in  accepting  pay- 
merit  from  the  former,  instead  of  demanding  it  from  me. — If  a  mediator 
has  plainly  admitted,  that  I  was  infinitely  to  blame,  can  1  be  much  obliged  to 
him,  unless  I  view  my  conduct  in  the  same  light  ?  Surely,  a  man  stiil  at 
enmity  with  the  law  cannot  embrace  the  genuine  gospel.  No  man  can 
come  to  Christ  with  his  back  towards  him  :  no  man  can  think  wrll  of 
Christ's  salvation,  and  still  think  favourably  of  sin.  K, 


236  MEMOIRS     OF 

Mr.  Fuller  then  refers  to  a  most  amiable  and  promising  young 
man,  who  soon  became  so  infected  with  the  spirit  of  Irish  San- 
demanianism,  as  to  refuse  to  unite  in  any  act  of  worship  with  a 
person  pretty  nearly  of  the  same  sentiments,  merely  because  the 
latter  would  not  refuse  to  kneel  down  at  family  prayer  with  those 
who  were  not  of  their  caste,  nor  to  stand  up,  while  another  Chris- 
tian asked  a  blessing.  No  other  species  of  Sandemanians  have  I 
heard  of,  who  carry  their  marked  separation  from  all  other  pro- 
fessors of  religion  to  so  extravagant  a  length.  The  spirit  of 
the  gospel  resembles  the  principle  of  attraction,  in  the  natural 
•world  ;  but  this  spirit  is  like  the  principle  of  refiulsion,  which 
would  crumble  the  whole  church  into  discordant  atoms. 

The  whole  of  this  letter  was  three  folio  pages,  closely  written. 
Mr.  F.  adds:  "I  have  several  more  letters  to  write,  to-day ." 
The  amount  of  his  writing  to  correspondents  was  almost  incred- 
ible. In  the  next  letter  but  one,  he  complains  of  being  quite 

overdone  with  it. 

i 

January  !3,  1807,  he  mentions  hearing  from  Mr.  Ralston, 
that  the  Americans  had  more  than  doubled  the  thousand  guineas. 
"  They  have  done  great  things  in  the  city  and  neighbourhood  of 
Boston.  Could  I  but  get  time  to  draw  out  the  Cash  Account, 
our  next  Number  would  presently  be  out.  But  I  am  interrupt- 
ed continually,  by  strangers  coming  to  see  me.  I  almost  wish 
I  could  shut  myself  up  in  a  monastery." 

«  March  1,  1807. 

« I  am  distressed  to  think  of  oflr  want  of  humble,  spiritual, 
and  disinterested  characters  to  send  on  evangelical  expeditions. 
»£He  has  immediate  reference  to  Ireland.]  Poor  dear  Brother 
Sutcliff  is  beginning  to  recover  from  the  dreadful  typhus  fever  ; 
but  his  family  continues  afflicted.  Richards,  the  student  from 
Wales,  who  was  given  over  for  dead,  and  raised  as  from  the 
dead,  is  now  in  imminent  danger  of  a  decline.  Mr.  R.  Hall  is 
with  us  to-day.  He  made  the  annual  collection  for  the  Mission, 
at  Leicester,  and  has  consented  to  go  to  Nottingham,  on  the 
same  business.  He  is  well,  and  seems  more  than  ever  ardent 
in  his  attachment  to  evangelical  religion. 


MR.    FULLER.  237 

"  Though  I  certainly  think  with  you,  that  the  spirit  of  San- 
demanianism  is  hostile  to  the  great  law  of  attraction,  and  dis- 
approve of  several  of  its  leading  doctrines ;  yet  there  are  many 
things,  which  some  would  call  Sandemanianism,  which  are 
things  of  the  first  importance. 

"  The  Eclectic  Re-view  of  my  Dialogues  was  designed,  I 
believe,  to  make  me  appear  to  be  an  Arminian,  as,  no  doubt,  the 
reviewer  was.  They  were  chagrined  on  receiving  my  letter  ; 
but  knew  not  what  to  do  with  it  I  desired  it  might  be  inserted 
•verbatim,  or  else  returned,  that  I  might  consider  of  some  other 
means  of  making  it  public.  They  did  very  well ;  and  its  ap- 
pearance in  that  form  will  do  more  towards  making  known  my 
real  sentiments,  than  any  thing  I  could  have  published. 

"  Their  review  of  Thornton  Abbey  was  very  dishonorable. 
It  appeared  to  be  the  work  of  an  Episcopalian  ;  yet  it  was  not 

so.     It  was  written  by   Mr.  ;  and  was  so  full  of  sneers 

against  the  Baptists,  that  the  editor  found  it  necessary  to  sup- 
press a  part  of  them.  I  have  no  doubt,  but  that  the  Episcopa- 
lian was  assumed,  merely  to  cover  the  antipathy  of  the  Pxdo- 
baptist  In  the  answer  to  Mr.  Satchell's  letter  to  them,  he 
makes  him  to  have  declared  the  reverse  of  what  he  did  declare  ; 
and  now  refuses  to  acknowledge  it.  I  am  sorry,  that  this  ob- 
liges me  to  think  of  him  lower  than  I  was  used  to  do." 

In  a  letter,  dated  October  31,  1807,  he  mentions  having  been 
on  a  journey,  in  company  with  a  very  respectable  Paedobaptist 
minister,  of  whom  he  relates  several  particulars  that  do  honour 
to  both  ;  but  which  I  should  not  like  to  insert,  without  full  per- 
mission from  the  person  to  whom  they  refer,  with  whom  I  have 
not  the  pleasure  of  being  acquainted.  I  take  the  liberty  of 
copying  a  few  lines.  "  I  never  saw  more  godliness,  candour,  or 
humility,  in  any  one.  He  talked  with  me,  among  other  things, 
about  Baptism  and  Strict  Communion.  4 1  think,  (said  he,  before 
a  number  of  his  friends)  you  have  a  catholic  heart :  I  should 
like  to  know  the  grounds  on  which  you  act ;  and  I  am  almost 
sure  they  are  not  temper  or  bigotry.'  When  I  had  stated  them> 


238  MEMOIRS    OF 

he  answered, '  Well :  I  think  I  can  see  the  conscientiousness  of 
your  conduct,  and  am  therefore  glad  I  asked  you.'  "* 

«  May  27,  1808. 

"  I  lately  found  sweet  relief,  under  some  cares,  about  my 
children,  in  Archbishop  Leighton's  discourse,  on  1  Pet.  v.  7." 

On  the  9th  of  December,  after  mentioning  some  troubles  in 
his  church  and  in  his  family,  he  adds:  "  Ail  these  things  to- 
gether form  a  constant  load  to  the  mind  :  yet  I  have  hitherto 
been  enabled  to  cast  it  on  Him  who  careth  for  us,  and,  consid- 
ering all  things,  am  comfortably  supported.  It  seemed  almost 
a  strange  thing,  yesterday,  that  I  should  be  able  to  emerge  from 
all  these  cares,  and  sit  down,  and  write  the  review  of  a  pam- 
phlet. As  soon  as  I  had  done  it,  I  went  at  two  o'clock,  to  our 
Committee,  and  staid  till  nearly  eight." 

"March  2,  1810. 

«  There  appears  to  be  so  much  of  an  earnest  inquiry  after 
salvation,  among  our  young  people,  that  I  feel  it  necessary  to  be 
absent  from  them  as  short  a  time  as  possible.  We  have  a 
weekly  meeting,  in  the  vestry,  for  all  who  choose  to  come  for 
conversation.  Four  have  been  accepted,  and  wait  for  baptism.1* 

«  Dec.28,  1810. 

"  I  hope  the  Lord  is  at  work  among  our  young  people.  Our 
Monday  and  Friday  night  meetings  are  much  thronged." 

"Feb.  27,   1811. 

«  The  Friday  evening  discourses  are  now,  and  have  been, 
for  nearly  a  year,  much  thronged,  because  they  have  been 

*  This  was  true  candour,  for  which  it  would  be  in  vain  to  look  among 
many  -vvho  make  the  loudest  professions  of  it.  I  have  often  thought,  that 
as  humility  is  the  tvorst  thing  in  the  world  for  ar  y  one  to  boast  of,  so  can- 
dour is  iu  this  respect,  the  next  to  it.  The  truly  candid  man  feels  it  so 
natural  and  proper  for  him  to  treat  his  brethren  with  affection  and  re- 
spect, that  he  never  expresses  a  kind  of  surprise  at  his  doing  so,  nor 
expects  others  to  appiaud  him  for  feeling  and  acting  as  he  is  sensible  he 
ought  to  do.  R. 


MR.    FT7LLEB.  239 

mostly  addressed  to  persons  under  some  concern  about  their 
salvation." 

«  Jan.  1813. 

"  If  I  have  written  under  too  strong  feeling,  my  dear  Brother, 
it  is  not  because  I  suspect  your  want  of  kindness,  nor,  in  gene- 
ral, your  want  of  judgment ;  but  in  matters  between  us  and 
some  others,  I  think  you  have  suffered  yourself,  from  a  love  of 
peace,  to  be  mislead  by  flimsy  professions.  I  should  be  sorry, 
if  any  thing  I  have  written  should  grieve  you,  or  prevent  your 
free  remonstrances  in  future,  whenever  you  think  I  am  getting 
wrong.  If  I  know  a  little  of  your  blind  side,  you  know  as 
much  or  more  of  mine.  I  hope  we  shall  get  on  together,  and 
see  reason  to  love  and  warn  each  other,  as  occasion  requires.  I 
wish  to  shun  all  strife,  but  what  cannot,  in  justice,  be  avoided." 

I  believe,  that  whoever  attempts  to  guess  at  the  subject  to 
which  this  letter  refers,  will  probably  be  mistaken.  I  insert  it, 
©nly  as  one  instance  illustrating  the  nature  of  our  friendship 

"May  28,   1813. 

"  The  Moravian  Missions,  I  hear,  suffer  a  loss  of  £  2000.  a 
year,  by  the  war  on  the  continent,  and  are  in  distress.  Let  us 
vote  them  100  guineas.  We  have  lately  received  £  2000.  from 
America,  for  the  loss  by  fire." 

"  Sept.  7,  1813. 

"  I  perceive,  from  my  last  journey  to  Scotland,  some  new 
tendencies  in  the  Sandemanian  system.  Its  object  is  to  anni- 
hilate the  ministry  of  the  gospel  ;  to  be  all  teachers  ;  to  have 
BO  one  paid  for  it,  &c.  Etc.  There  is  some  tough  work  for  them, 
in  M'Leod's  Essays,  against  the  Exhortations  of  the  Brethren." 

«  March  24,  1814. 

«  I  have  just  received  an  alarming  letter  from  Olney,  and 
must  go,  if  possible,  to  see  our  dear  brother,  to-morrow.  Brother 
Sutcliff  was  kept  ten  days  in  London,  took  two  days  to  get 
home,  his  legs  swell,  blisters  were  applied,  which  drew  water. 
They  fear  he  has  water  in  his  chest :  he  cannot  lie  down,  for 


240  MEMOIRS    OF 

want  of  breath,  but  sits,  night  after  night,  in  a  large  chair. 
Well ;  the  government  is  on  HIS  shoulders  ;  ours  will  soon  be 
from  under  the  load ;  but,  while  we  are  reducing  in  number, 
and  increasing  in  labour,  it  may  be  the  heavier  for  a  time. 
God  grant  we  may  finish  our  course  with  joy  1" 

f 

"June  25,  1814. 

"  Yesterday  I  returned  from  London,  where  we  had  a  pleas- 
ant meeting.  On  Monday  morning,  the  20th,  I  took  a  final 
leave  of  dear  Brother  Sutcliff.  While  I  was  in  town,  I  heard 
that  he  departed  on  Wednesday  evening,  very  happy  in  the 
Lord.  I  meant  to  set  off,  on  Monday,  for  Liverpool  ;  but  must 
defer  it  till  Wednesday,im  account  of  Brother  SutclifFs  fune- 
ral, which  I  must  attend.  He  has  left  a  passage  to  be  improved 
— Jude  21. 

"  Mr.  Kinghorn  preached  an  excellent  sermon  for  the  Step- 
ney Institution,  on  Thursday  morning.*  I  hope,  some  good 
will  arise  to  Ireland  from  the  Society  formed  in  London." 

Other  extracts  I  shall  reserve  for  the  Chapter  which  relates 
to  his  afflictions  and  death ;  and  some  I  have  inserted  in  that 
which  contains  an  account  of  his  exertions  on  behalf  of  the 
Baptist  Mission.  Several  more,  which  are  inserted  in  this 
Chapter,  might  have  been  connected  with  the  others  with  equal 
propriety.  But,  though  I  wish-to  show  all  due  respect  to  the 
public,  I  found  myself  unable  to  make  a  more  exact  arrange- 
ment, without  a  much  longer  delay  ;  and,  if  my  chief  object  be 
obtained,  which  is  the  profit  of  my  readers,  by  a  faithful  rep- 
resentation of  the  spirit,  principles,  and  exemplary  conduct  of 
my  departed  friend,  I  must  be  content,  though  I  should  not  ob- 
tain any  farther  applause  as  his  biographer.  I  should  have  been 
glad,  had  I  been  better  able  to  subserve  the  end  I  have  stated 
above  ;  but,  in  a  very  short  time  at  most,  neither  the  praise  nor 
*ensure  of  men  will  be  able  to  affect  me  in  the  least. 

*  This  Sermon,  and  another  equally  valuable,  preached  hefore  the 
Bristol  Education  Society,  on  the  3d  of  August  following,  have  been 
printed  together,  entitled,  Jldvice  and  Encouragement  to  Young  Minis- 
ters. Price  It.  R. 


MR.  FULLER.  241 

I  shall  only  add  in  this  Chapter,  two  or  three  valuable  let- 
ters of  Mr.  F.  which  have  been  transmitted  to  me  by  other 
friends. 

I  have  one  to  a  worthy  minister  near  London,  which  would 
tend,  as  well  as  several  sent  to  myself,  to  show  his  sincere 
respect  for  Mr.  B.  and  his  earnest  concern  to  remove  the  preju- 
dices which  that  good  man  had  indulged  against  him  :  but,  as  I 
omitted  copying  the  latter,  so  I  shall,  for  the  same  reason, 
insert  only  a  short  extract  from  the  former. 

"April  29,   1805. 

"  For  years,  I  have  been  labouring  to  conciliate  and  satisfy 
him.  Several  times,  he  has  advanced  charges  against  me,  often 
changed  his  ground,  but  again  returned  to  the  charge  in  another 
form.  In  1 802,  he  understood  me  to  disown  the  doctrines  of 
imputation  and  substitution,  and  circulated  it  far  and  wide.  I 
denied  the  charge ;  he  asked  for  an  explanation.  Well ;  I 
wrote  an  explanation  of  my  sentiments  to  Dr.  R,  and  Dr.  R. 
lent  it  to  Mr.  B.  He  read  it,  acknowledged  he  had  misunder- 
stood me,  was  sorry  for  it,  and  hoped  I  would  overlook  it.  I  as- 
sured him,  I  was  satisfied,  and  should  think  no  more  of  it.  He 
asked  me  to  preach  for  him.  I  did  so.  We  parted,  so  far  as  I 
knew,  in  brotherly  love.  Yet,  without  any  thing  fresh  occurring, 
atthe  monthly  meeting,  Sept.  22,  1803,  he  held  up  my  statement, 
as  he  supposed,  as  being  '  next  to  nonsense.'  Having  seen 
a  copy  of  what  he  said,  I  told  him  again,  the  next  time  I  saw  him, 
that  he  had  misunderstood  me.  He  represented  me,  as  holding 
the  peculiarity  of  redemption  to  consist  in  the  sovereignty  of  its 
application  ;  but  I  had  said  no  such  thing.  At  length  he  prints 
the  sermon,  avails  himself  of  my  correction,  and  yet  sets  off, 
in  his  Appendix,  as  if  he  had  not ;  takes  my  words,  at  last, 
but  distorts  and  perverts  them.  In  the  first  three  pages  of  his 
Appendix,  he  represents  me,  as  confounding  a  thing  with  its 
application  ;  whereas  my  words,  even  as  quoted  by  himself, 
prove  I  do  not. 

«  I  place  the  peculiarity  of  redemption,  not  in  the  application 
of  the  atonement,  which  he,  all  along,  supposes  me  to  do,  but 
in  the  sovereign  pleasure  of  God  concerning  its  application ; 
31 


242  MEMOIRS    OF 

between  which  there  is  an  equal  difference,  as  between  election 
and  vocation.* 

"  My  sentiments  may  be  seen  in  Hannah  ddams's  View  of 
Religions,  under  the  Article,  Cal-uinists^  which  was  of  my  own 
drawing  up." 

But  I  shall  enter  no  farther  upon  this  subject,  unnecessarily. 
I  knew  much  about  it  at  the  time,  and  have  many  documents 
by  me,  which  justify  me,  in  accounting  that  this  venerable  and 
excellent  man  was  betrayed  into  an  excess  of  suspicion,  Sec. 
towards  my  departed  friend.  But,  I  am  sure,  the  latter  would 
not  wish  me  to  make  the  narrative  of  his  life  a  memorial  of 
some  imperfection  of  judgment  or  temper,  in  one  whom  he 
so  sincerely  venerated,  and  who  was  made  perfect  before  him. 

It  is  simply  from  a  regard  to  important  truth,  that  I  tran- 
scribe another  letter  to  the  same  friend,  in  which  Mr.  B.  is 
mentioned  unavoidably.  It  was  written  a  little  before  Mr. 
Sutcliff's  death,  about  April,  1814. 

"  I  had  not  seen  the  Review  of  Mr.  B's  Works,  when  I  read 
yours,  which  was  last  night,  on  my  return  from  Olney ;  but  have 
seen  it  since.  If  Mr.  B.  meant  no  more,  than  to  intimate,  that 
a  consciousness  of  a  holy  state  of  mind  was  not  necessary  to 
believing  in  Jesus  ;  this  were  no  more  than  we  all  say.  But, 
surely,  your  construction  of  Mr.  B.  is  what  he  himself  would 
have  disowned.  All  through  his  Second  Chapter,  (Glad  Ti- 
dings,} he  confounds  a  warrant  to  come  to  Christ,  with  com- 
ing to  him.  A  sinner  may  be  unwilling  to  come  to  Christ  for 
life,  and  yet  have  a  warrant  to  do  so  ;  but  he  cannot  actually 
come  to  Christ  for  life,  while  he  is  unwilling.  The  title  of  that 
Chapter  is  one  thing,  and  its  running  title  another,;  but  he 
pleads  for  both  :  though,  when  he  comes  to  meet  objections,  as 
in  Chap.  III.  p.  129,  he  is  obliged  to  confine  it  to  one.  One 

*  In  a  letter  to  Mr.  Suteliff,  July  4,  1805,  he  mentioned  Mr.  M 'Lean's 
telling  him,  that  he  was  suspected  by  his  friends,  of  Arminianism,  or  what 
led  to  it.  F  "  On  what  grounds  ?"  M  "  On  what  you  have  written  on 
the  peculiarity  of  redemption  consisting  in  its  application."  F.  "  I  have 
never  said  so  My  sentiment  is,  that  it  consists,  not  in  its  application,  but 
in  the  design  of  the  Father  and  the  Son  respecting  its  application."  M, 
"  That  is  very  different  from  the  other,  and  is  not  Armifliauism  ;  but  as 
far  as  1  can  see,  the  truth." 


MR.    FULLER.  243 

half  of  his  reasonings  are  aimed,  if  they  aim  at  any  thing,  to 
prove  that  no  holiness  is  necessary  to  coming  to  Christ,  any 
more  than  to  warrant  our  coming ;  and  if  so,  faith  must  be  an 
act  of  an  ungodly  mind. 

u  /  should  not  only  admit,  that  a  co?isciousness  of  holiness  is 
not  necessary  to  coming  to  Christ,  but  that  such  consciousness 
is  impossible.  The  power  of  sight  is  necessary  to  seeing  ; 
but  na  man  can  be  conscious  of  possessing  that  power,  but  by 
seeing. 

"  You  do  not  understand  the  propriety  of  calling  that  influ* 
ence  by  which  we  are  regenerated,  physical :  yet  you  call  it 
«  supernatural,'  which  is  the  same  thing.  The  influence  of 
means  and  motive  is  not  supernatural.  It  is  not  physical,  as 
to  what  is  produced.  It  is  no  new  power,  but  the  renewal  of 
the  moral  state  of  those  powers  which  we  already  possessed. 
But  physical,  as  applied  to  influence,  denotes  the  same  as 
supernatural,  and  stands  opposed  to  the  influence  of  motives 
presented  to  the  mind,  which  is  commonly  called  moral  influ- 
ence. The  holiness  of  man  in  innocence  was  physically  pro- 
duced, though  the  thing  produced  was  moral.  He  was  not  per- 
suaded, or  induced,  to  be  holy,  but  created  in  righteousness  and 
true  holiness ;  and  so  are  we  in  regeneration.  If  in  the  first 
instance,  we  are  regenerated  by  means,  it  is  not  a  creation.  See 
my  Strictures  on  Sandemamanism*  pp.  146,  147. 

"  The  preaching  of  the  gospel  certainly  has  a  tendency  to 
bring  the  sinner  back  to  God  ;  but  this  it  may  have,  and  yet  not 
be  sufficient  to  accomplish  it,  without  a  supernatural  interposi- 
tion of  divine  power.  The  labours  of  Bunyan's  four  captains 
had  a  tendency  to  reduce  Mansoul,  but  were  not  sufficient. 

"  If  new  physical  powers  were  produced,  or  necessary,  men 
would  be  under  a  natural  inability  to  believe :  but  the  moral 
state  of  their  hearts  may  be  such,  that  nothing  but  a  supernatural 
influence  can  remove  it ;  while  yet  there  is  no  other  inability 
than  that  which  arises  from  aversion. 

"  I  am  affectionately  yours, 

«  A.  FULLER." 

"  P.  S.  If  you  have  read  the  Eclectic  Review  for  this  month,  you 
-*ill  see  in  the  first  article  some  things  on  this  subject-  If  the 


244  MRMOIRH    OF 

evidence  for  the  mind  being  renewed,  in  order  tcrbelieving  in 
Christ,  adduced  in  my  Strictures  on  Sandemanianism,  (pp.  1 37 
— 142.)  be  not  sufficient,  I  can  say  no  more." 

The  following  letter  I  have  also  been  particularly  requested 
to  insert,  which  he  sent  to  the  late  Mr.  M'Lean,  of  Edinburgh, 
in  1797. 

«  Kettering,  Aug.  1797. 
«  Dear  Sir, 

"  If  your  letter  had  barely  contained  a  statement  of  your 
ideas  on  certain  subjects  on  which  I  have  already  written  my 
mind,  I  might  have  declined  a  particular  reply ;  and  this,  on 
account  of  bodily  indisposition  and  various  necessary  avocations, 
would  have  been  most  agreeable  to  me.  But,  by  the  conse- 
quences which  you  charge  on  my  views  of  faith,  and  justification 
by  it,  I  am  constrained  to  be  explicit  on  this  subject. 

"  The  substance  of  what  has  been  advanced  on  this  subject  is 
reducible  to  three  questions  ;  namely,  Whether  faith  include  in  it 
an  exercise  of  the  heart  ?— -  If  it  do,  whether  it  be  not  confounded 
witli  love  and  hope  ? — And  whether  it  render  our  justification, 
after  all,  a  justification  by  works  ? 

"  1  had  asked, l  If  faith  be  a  mere  assent  of  the  understanding, 
and  has  nothing  of  moral  goodness  in  it,  how  can  it  be  the  object 
of  command  ?  how  can  it  be  a  duty  ?'  YOU  answer,  «  By  a  mere 
assent  of  the  understanding,  you  must  mean,  a  belief  of  the 
testimony  of  God,  grounded  upon  his  authority  and  faithfulness.' 
The  very  point  in  dispute  is,  Whether  such  a  belief  does  not 
include  more  than  a  mere  assent  of  the  understanding.  To 
suppose  therefore,  that  I  must  mean  this,  is  to  suppose  that  I 
*  must'  grant  you  the  very  point  in  dispute. 

*<  The  intellectual  faculty  I  suppose,  is  capable  of  nothing 
more  than  knowledge  ;  but  that  faith  or  credence,  is  something 
more  than  knowledge.  A  man  may  understand  that  which  he 
does  not  believe  ;  yea,  he  cannot  be  said  to  disbelieve  it,  if  he 
understand  nothing  about  it.  An  assent  of  the  understanding  is 
a  matter  of  judgment,  which  regards  the  meaning  of  the  testifier ; 
gather  than  of  faith,  which  relates  to  the  truth  of  the  testimony : 


MR.    FULLER.  245 

and  if  it  be  merely  an  exercise  of  the  understanding,  that  is,  if 
it  be  not  influenced  by  any  bias  of  heart,  it  contains  neither  good 
nor  evil  of  a  moral  kind,  but  is  purely  natural.  Such  an  assent 
is  not  an  object  of  command,  and  is  not  a  duty  ;  nor  is  the  oppo- 
site of  it  asm.  Diligent  and  impartial  examination  is  a  duty; 
but  I  conceive  that  knowledge  itself  is  not  It  is  true,  there  is 
a  knowledge  to  which  eternal  life  is  promised,  which  is  duty  ; 
and  an  ignorance  which  is  threatened  with  divine  vengeance, 
(2  Thes.  i.  8.)  and  which  therefore,  must  be  sin.  But  neither 
is  the  former  a  mere  exercise  of  the  intellectual  faculty,  nor  the 
latter  a  mere  defect  of  that  exercise.  That  ignorance  which  is 
threatened  with  divine  vengeance,  you  will  allow,  is  a  -voluntary 
ignorance,  which  includes  a  mixture  of  that  evil  temper  which 
hateth  the  light.  See  John  viiL  43.  Hence  it  is  called  the 
blindness  of  the  he  art)  (Ephes.  iv.  18.)  Hence  also  *  David' in  his 
dialogue  with  'Jonathan,'  (p.  15.)  very  properly  describes  it  as 
an  evil  eye.  And  I  suppose,  that  that  knowledge  to  which 
eternal  life  is  promised,  includes  a  mixture  of  holy  love.  When 
the  terms  knowledge  and  ignorance  are  used  in  this  sense,  as 
they  frequently  are  in  Scripture,  I  consider  them  as  used  not  in  a 
literal,  but  in  a  figurative  sense ;  as  when  God  is  said  not  to 
know  certain  characters  at  the  day  of  judgment. 

«  David  in  his  dialogue,  admits  of  the  distinction  between 
spiritual  knowledge,  and  that  which  is  merely  speculative  ; 
though  he  contends,  and  that  justly,  that  the  latter  « implies  some 
very  essential  imperfection  and  error.'  The  reason  of  this  im- 
perfection and  error  is  also  very  properly  suggested  by  David. 
His  words  are,  *  After  all  that  we  can  say  of  the  speculative 
knowledge  of  practical  truth,  we  must  still  remember,  that  it 
implies  some  very  essential  imperfection  and  error.'  David 
here  seems  to  intimate,  that  practical  truth  is  not  discernible  by 
sfieculative  knowledge. 

«  Now,  what  David  calls  <  speculative  knowledge,'  I  call  a 
mere  exercise  of  the  intellectual  or  speculative  faculty ;  and  so 
for  once,  we  are  agreed  that  the  knowledge  of  practical  truth  is 
more  than  a  mere  exercise  of  intellect.  Again,  what  he  calls 
spiritual  knowledge,  and  which  is  the  only  true  knowledge  of 
practical  truth,  is  the  same  thing  as  that  which  I  have  spoken  of, 


246  MEMOIRS    OF 

as  having  the  promise  of  eternal  life  connected  with  it.  But 
that  which  is  *  spiritual,*  whether  it  be  knowledge  or  faith, 
cannot  be  a  mere  exercise  of  the  intellectual  faculty  ;  for  the 
very  term  '  spiritual,*  denotes  as  much  as  holy :  but  holiness 
necessarily  includes  some  affection  of  the  heart,  and  is  not  pred- 
icable  of  simple  intelligence. 

«  That  which  distinguishes  faith  from  the  mere  exercise  of 
the  intellectual  faculty,  and  which  constitutes  its  morality,  is, 
that  it  includes  a  treating  of  God  either  as  the  God  of  truth ,  or 
as  a  liar.  Hence,  as  you  very  properly  express  it,  4  it  is  right  to 
believe  all  that  God  says,  and  exceedingly  -wrong  to  hold  him 
as  a  liar.*  You  goon  to  ask, 4  Why  may  not  belief  be  an  object 
of  command,  as  well  as  love  ?*  Do  I  d^ny,  then  that  it  is  so  ?  If  in- 
deed, belief  included  nothing  more  than  an  exercise  of  the  intel- 
lectual faculty  I  should  deny  it ;  because  I  am  persuaded,  that 
the  heart,  and  its  genuine  expression,  is  the  whole  ol  what  God 
requires  of  man  :  but,  viewing  belief  as  I  do,  i  readily  admit  it 
to  be  an  object  <&  command.  You  add,  *  And  if  it  be  both  right 
in  itself,  and  the  object  of  command^  it  must  certainly  be  a  duty* 
Very  true,  Sir,  and  in  this  short  passage,  you  have  said  ail  I  wish 
to  plead  for.  Whether  you  will  allow  the  terms,  moral  good, 
moral  excellency,  virtue,  Sec.  to  pertain  to  the  nature  of  faith,  or 
not,  while  you  adhere  to  this  I  am  satisfied. 

«  If  these  be  your  views  of  faith,  which  I  am  persuaded  is  the 
case,  say  what  you  will,  you  do  not  consider  it  as  a  natural,  but 
as  a  moral  exercise.  And  while  you  allow  faith  to  be  <  right,' 
you  need  not  argue  as  you  do — '  That,  though  it  should  contain  no 
intrinsic  virtue  or  moral  excellence  in  itself,  yet  it  does  not  follow 
that  unbelief  could  contain  no  sin.*  Nor  do  I  think  this  argu- 
ment conclusive.  You  plead,  that  though  there  may  be  no 
virtue  in  a  thing,  yet  there  may  be  sin  in  its  opposite  ;  and  in- 
stance in  the  abstinence  from  various  crimes ;  eating  when  we 
are  hungry,  and  believing  a  human  testimony,  &c.  There  may 
indeed,  be  no  virtue  in  these  things,  as  they  are  generally  per- 
formed by  apostate  creatures ;  but  if  they  were  performed  as 
God  requires  them  to  be,  (which  they  should,  to  be  the  oppo- 
sites  of  the  sins  you  mention,)  they  would  contain  real  virtue. 
God  requires  us  to  abstain  from  all  sin,/row  a  regard  to  his 


MR.    FULLER. 

name  ;  to  eat  and  drink,  and  do  whatsoever  we  do,  to  his  glory  ; 
and  we  are  to  credit  the  testimony  of  a  friend,  *  when  we  have 
reason  to  do  so.'  These  things,  thus  performed  would  be  truly 
virtuous.  Whatever  is  capable  of  being  done  by  a  moral  agent, 
with  an  eye  to  the  glory  of  God,  ought  to  be  so  done  ;  and  if 
it  be  so  done,  it  is  right  or  -virtuous  ;  if  not,  it  is  wrong  and 
sinful. 

"  It  appears  to  me,  that  the  idea  against  which  you  argue,  is 
merit)  rather  than  duty.  I  plead  only  for  duty,  which  is  the  very 
principle  by  which,  according  to  the  reasoning  of  our  Lord, 
merit  is  excluded.  Luke  xvii.  10.  If  it  be  necessary,  in  order 
to  '  refuse  some  praise  to  the  creature,'  to  deny  that  faith  is  a 
•virtuous  exercise,  it  must  be  equally  necessary  to  deny  that  it  is 
a  right  exercise,  a  commanded  exercise,  and  what  is  part  of  our 
duty  ;  for  these  are  the  same  things. 

"  While  you  allow  faith  to  be  both  « right  in  itself,  and  an 
object  of  command,  and  consequently  a  duty,'  to  what  purpose 
do  you  object  against  my  contending  for  its  morality  ?  4  If  ws 
are  not  justified  by  faith  as  a  virtue,'  you  say,  *  of  what  import- 
juice  is  it  to  contend  for  the  moral  excellency  of  faith  ?  Why 
so  solicitous  to  find  something  in  it  more  than  belief  ?  Why  is 
that  held  insufficient  for  qualification  ?'  This,  by  the  by,  is  a 
mistatement.  I  do  not  pretend  to  find  any  thing  more  in  faith, 
than  belief.  Belief  itself,  I  suppose  includes  in  it  all  I  con- 
tend for ;  and  as  to  the  importance  of  the  morality  of  faith, 
ask  yourself,  If  we  are  not  justified  by  faith,  as  a  compliance 
with  what  in  itself  is  *  right,*  as  obedience  to  the  <  command  of 
God,'  or  as  the  performance  of  a  *  duty,'  of  what  importance  is 
it  to  contend  for  it,  as  being  this  or  that  ?  You  can  easily  give  an 
answer  to  this  question  j  and  by  so  doing,  will  answer  that  which 
you  have  put  to  me. 

"  And  if,  while  you  allow  faith  to  be  right,  you  attribute  (  all 
the  virtue  and  influence  which  is  ascribed  to  it  in  justification 
to  its  object,  rather  than  to  any  intrinsic  righteousness  which 
itself  contains,'  you  do  what  I  heartily  approve  ;  and  in  so  doing, 
whether  you  can  understand  my  distinguishing  between  justifi- 
cation by  faith  on  account  of  its  relation  to  its  object,  and  justifi- 
cation by  faith  as  a  virtue  or  not,  you  maintain  the  same  thing, 


248  MEMOIRS    OF 

u  You  seem  certain  that  I  consider  faith  <  as  a  temper  or  dis- 
position of  heart  corresponding  to  the  truth  believed.'  If  you 
are  certain  of  it,  it  is  more  than  I  am.  I  say  it  includes  such 
a  temper  ;  but  I  do  not  suppose  it  would  be  a  proper  definition 
of  faith,  to  call  it  a  disposition  of  heart  corresponding  with 
the  truth  believed.  To  give  God  credit,  or  to  discredit  him, 
seems  better  to  agree  with  the  idea  of  an  exercise  of  the  soul, 
than  of  a  temper  or  disposition.  It  is  actually  treating  God 
either  as  the  God  of  truth,  or  as  a  liar.  It  has  more  of  a  dis- 
position in  it  than  you  seem  willing  to  acknowledge,  and  more 
of  an  assent  to  truth,  than  the  notion  of  it  which  you  ascribe  to 
me.  It  is  what  the  Scripture  calls  a  receiving-  the  lo-ve  of  the 
truth,  that  we  may  be  saved.  2  Thes.  ii.  10.  You  may  easily 
perceive,  that  I  do  not  consider  it  either  as  an  exercise  of  the 
understanding,  to  the  exclusion  of  the  will ;  or  of  the  will  to 
the  exclusion  of  the  understanding.  To  distinguish  the  pow- 
ers of  the  soul,  is  in  many  cases,  very  proper;  and  to  distinguish 
the  natural  from  the  moral  powers,  is  of  importance :  but,  I 
conceive  there  are  several  mental  exercises,  and  perhaps  all 
those  which  are  of  a  spiritual  or  holy  nature,  which  caruot  be 
said  to  be  exercises  of  a  single  power,  but  of  the  sow/,  without 
distinction  of  its  powers.  Such  are  repentance,  hope,  and  fear ; 
and  such  I  conceive,  is  faith. 

"  As  to  my  confounding  faith  with  hope  and  love,  which  the 
apostle  declares  to  be  three,  I  have  already  answered  this  ob- 
jection ;  and  I  must  say,  that  your  reply  is  far  from  being  satis- 
factory. Whether  my  considering  them  as  distinct  with  regard 
to  their  objects,  include  all  the  distinction  there  is  between 
them,  or  not,  you  admit  «  hope  to  include  desire,'  which  is  the 
same  thing  as  including  love.  <  Hope/  you  say,  *  is  a  modifi- 
cation of  love.'  Hope,  therefore,  according  to  your  own  ac- 
knowledgment, though  distinguished  from  love,  yet  is  not  so 
distinct  from  it  but  that  it  includes  a  portion  of  it.  But  if  this 
be  said  of  hope,  there  is  no  good  reason  to  be  drawn  from  this 
passage,  why  it  may  not  also  be  said  of  faith. 

«  If  faith  include  an  exercise  of  the  will,  David  would  be  at 
a.  loss  to  account  for  the  superiority  of  love.  (pp.  18,  19.)  By 
the  same  rule  he  would  be  at  a  loss  to  account  for  its  superiority 


MR.    FULLER.  249 

to  hope  ;  since  he  allows  hope  to  <  include  desire?  that  is  to 
say,  it  includes  love,  and  is  a  4  modification  of  it.'  Does  not 
the  Apostle  himself  suggest  wherein  consists  the  superiority  of 
love  ;  namely,  in  its  fier}ietuity  ?  *  Love  never  faileth.5  Faith 
shall  terminate  in  vision,  and  hope  in  fruition  ;  but  love  shall 
rise  and  increase  to  all  eternity. 

"  Again,  if  faith  includes  the  consent  of  the  will,  \vith  the 
concurrence  of  the  warmest  affections,  David  would  be  unable 
to  see  why  faith,  and  not  love,  unites  us  to  Christ,  (p.  19.)  This 
objection  proceeds  upon  the  supposition,  that  faith  not  only  in- 
cludes love,  but  that  it  is  love,  or  that  faith  and  love  are  the  same 
things.  In  this  case,  no  doubt,  it  would  be  impossible  to  discern 
why  faith  should  unite  us  to  Christ,  rather  than  love  ;  seeing 
there  would  be  no  difference  between  one  and  the  other.  But, 
though  faith  may  include  a  degree  of  love,  yet  it  does  not  fol- 
low from  thence,  that  it  is,  in  no  respects,  distinguishable  from 
it,  or  that  there  are  not  some  effects  ascribable  to  faith,  on  ac- 
count of  its  peculiar  properties,  which  are  not  to  be  ascribed 
to  love.  Justification  includes  the  forgiveness  of  sins  ;  yet  it  is 
not  the  same  thing  as  forgiveness :  and  there  are  some  things 
ascribable  to  the  former,  namely,  a  title  to  eternal  life,  (Rom.  v 
18.  21.)  which  do  not  belong  to  the  latter. 

"  You  seem  greatly  jealous  on  the  subject  of  meetness,  and 
so  does  Dr.  Stuart :  he  fears,  my  views  on  this  subject  will 
<  hurt  my  preaching  and  experience.'  I  am  truly  obliged,  both 
to  him  and  to  you,  for  your  anxiety  on  this  head.  Both  your 
letters  on  this  subject  made  a  deep  impression  on  my  heart.  I 
could  have  watered  each  of  them  with  tears.  There  would, 
however,  have  been  some  difference.  Over  his,  I  could  have 
shed  tears  of  trembling  self-diffidence,  lest  what  he  suggested 
might  be  true,  and  lest  I  should  in  any  degree,  though  un- 
wittingly, dishonour  <  him  whom  my  soul  loveth.'  Over  yours, 
I  could  have  wept  for  grief.  The  mixture  of  tartness  and  un- 
kind insinuations,  which,  on  some  occasions,  accompany  your 
reasonings,  was  not  the  most  pleasant :  it  seemed  to  me,  un- 
suitable to  brotherly  discussion.  But  this  I  pass  over,  and  at- 
tend to  my  subject. 

32 


250  MEMOIRS    OF 

"  In  my  letter  to  Dr.  Stuart,  if  I  mistake  not,  I  asked,  among 
other  things,  «  May  not  faith  include  the  acquiescence  of  the 
heart,  and  so  be  a  moral  excellency  ;  and  may  there  not  be  a 
fitness  in  God's  justifying  persons  who  thus  acquiesce,  without 
any  foundation  being  laid  for  boasting  ?  Though  faith  be  a  moral 
excellency,  yet  I  do  not  consider  that  it  is  on  account  of  its 
morality,  but  its  relation  to  Christ,  that  justification  it  ascribed 
to  it.'  On  this  account  you  remark,  that  «  the  distinction  be- 
tween this  and  being  jus'ified  by  faith  as  a  virtue,  is  too  fine  ; 
for,  if  this  fitness  in  God's  justifying  arises  from  the  moral 
excellency  of  faith,  we  must  undoubtedly,  be  justified  by  faith 
as  a  virtue,  in  some  sense  or  other.' 

"  You  will  admit,  I  think,  of  a  fitness  between  justification 
and  believing  ;  or,  that  it  is  wisely  ordered,  that  believers  should 
be  justified,  rather  than  unbelievers.  Otherwise,  you  must 
suppose,  that  God  does  what  there  is  no  reason  or  fitness  in 
doing.  Farther,  you  suppose  believing  to  include  a  knowledge 
of  Christ,  at  least  such  a  knowledge  as  perceives  and  realizes 
the  object ;  and  this,  you  witt  admit,  precedes  justification,  and 
that  there  is  a  fitness  in  its  doing  so.  Yet  you  do  not  maintain, 
that  a  realizing  perception  of  Christ's  righteousness,  but  that 
Christ's  righteousness  itself,  is  that  on  account  of  which  God 
justifies  us  Now.,  why  may  not  I  maintain  the  same,  though 
I  consider  the  belief  of  the  gospel  as  including  a  cordial  acqui- 
escence in  it?  If  you  allege,  that  there  is  no  other  fitness  in 
Go<l's  justifying:  a  person  on  his  believing,  in  your  sense  of  the' 
term,  than  a  Jitness  of  wisdom  (none  which  undermines  the 
freeness  of  grace,  or  which  bears  any  resemblance  to  the  notion 
of  those  who  talk  of  a  merit  of  congruity)  and  that  for  this 
reason — there  being  nothing  of  moral  good  included  in  the 
nature  of  faith,  there  can  be  no  ground  for  a  moral  fitness  in  a 
sinner  being  justified  by  it.  To  this  I  answer, 

44  1.  You  do  allow  faith  to  include  moral  good,  though,  in 
some  places,  you  write  as  though  you  did  not.  You  allow  it 
to  be  '  right  in  itself,  a  command  of  God,  a  duty  ;  and  the  con- 
trary, a  6-m,  as  making  God  a  liar.'  You  must  admit,  therefore, 
that,  though  we  are  justified  by  that  which  is  right — is  a  com- 
mand~- is  a  duty,  yet  it  is  not  on  account  of  its  Tightness,  or  of  its 


MR.    FULLER.  251 

being  an  obedience  to  a  divine  command,  or  a  compliance  with 
duty,  but  merely  on  account  of  the  object  on  widen  it  termi- 
nates. And  if  this  distinction  be  not  4  too  fine'  for  you,  neither 
will  that  to  which  you  object  in  me  ;  for  it  is  the  same  thing. 

"  2.  A  fitness  of  wisdom  is  the  whole  for  which  I  plead. 
It  appears  to  be  wisely  ordered,  that  no  person  should  share  the 
blessing  of  justification  through  the  righteousness  oi  Cnrist,  till 
he  heartily  acquiesce  in  that  way  of  saving  sinners.  Yet  it  is 
not  his  acquiescence  that  is  any  ground  oi  his  acceptance,  but 
that  in  which  he  acquiesces. 

"  1  will  try  and  state  another  case,  or  two,  which  may  throw 
some  light  upon  that  question.  Let  us  suppose  Pharaoh's 
daughter,  who  was  married  to  king  Soiomon,  to  have  been  a 
poor  outcast,  and  even  a  prostitute  :  yet  Soiomon  sends  his  ser- 
vants to  invite  her  to  the  most  intimate  and  honourable  union. 
At  first,  she  feels  attached  to  her  lovers,  .and  refuses ;  at  length, 
however,  her  mind  i$  changed.  She  is  married  to  him,  and, 
that  moment,  becomes  interested  in  his  crown  ano  possessions. 
Perhaps,  you  will  admit  the  Jitnetss,  in  this  case,  that  she  should 
first  be  united  with  Soiomon,  ere  she  snouid  become  interested 
in  his  possessions  ;  and  with  such  a  kind  of  union  too,  as  should 
include  a  renunciation  of  all  her  tormer  ;oveis  anu  uncit  prac- 
tices Yet,  virtuous  as  tnis  union  might  be,  ana  wickeu  us  it 
\vouid  have  been  in  her  to  have  still  adherea  to  uer  lovers,  you 
•would  never  imagine,  that  she  was  put  in  possession  ol  me 
crown  on  account  oi  her  own  marriage,  considered  an  an  exer- 
cise of  -virtue,  or  as  a  reward  for  it.  Nor  wouici  she,  li  a  true 
penitent,  ever  think  of  arrogating  to  herself  any  merit  for  ac- 
quiescing in  Soiomon's  proposal,  or  consenting  to  do  as  she 
had  done  ;  but  rather,  be  coniounded  on  account  of  her  former 
wickedness,  and  especially,  that  she  shouid  have  been  so  at- 
tached to  it,  as  tor  a  time,  to  despise  the  riches  of  ins  goodness. 
If  a  question  had  been  put  to  her,  in  the  heignt  of  her  glory, 
by  one  that  had  known  her  in  tormer  times — -  And  what  is  tnis 
that  is  come  to  you  I  On  what  ground  or  title,  have  you  the 
possession  of  all  these  riches  r'  she  might  have  answered  to 
this  effect :  4  They  were  not  mine  ;  I  neitner  laboured  lor  them, 
?ior  inherited  them  from  any  one  that  was  naturally  related  to 


252  MEMOIRS    t)P 

me.  They  were  king  Solomon's  ;  and  he  from  a  wonderful  at- 
tachment to  me,  in  which  he  seems  to  have  been  determined) 
by  an  act  of  overwhelming  kindness,  to  display  his  native  gen- 
erosity, conferred  them  upon  me.  I  have  them  in  virtue  of 
marriage.  That  which  accomplished  my  union  to  the  king, 
at  the  same  time  put  me  in  possession  of  these  riches.  All  that 
I  enjoy  is  by  marriage  ;  for  what  was  I  ?  It  is  of  marriage,  that 
it  might  be  of  grace.' 

"  I  do  not  pretend  to  say,  that  this  case  will,  throughout,  apply 
to  that  of  Christ  and  a  believer;  but  I  can  conceive,  they  are 
sufficiently  alike  to  illustrate  the  argument.  Union  with  Christ, 
is  that  which,  in  the  order  of  things,  precedes  justification  :  Of 
him  are  ye  in  Christ  Jesus,  who  of  God  is  made  unto  us— 
righteous-ness.  That  I  may  be  found  in  him,  not  having  on 
mine  own  righteousness,  but  that  which  is  by  the  faith  of  Christ. 
1  Cor.  i.  31.  Phil.  iii.  8.  And  this,  David,  in  his  dialogue,  (p. 
19.)  admits — that  union  with  Christ,  is  10  be  of  one  spirit  with 
him  ;  (1  Cor.  vi.  17.)  and  being  by  faith,  it  is  hence  that  by  faith 
we  are  justified. 

"  It  is  here,  I  think,  I  can  perceive  the  peculiar  relation  which 
faith  bears  to  Christ.  Such  a  belief  of  the  gospel,  as  that 
whereby  we  embrace  his  way  of  salvation  with  our  whole  souls, 
renders  Christ  and  us  no  more  twain,  but  one  spirit.  (I  allude 
to  1  Cor.  vi.  17.)  This  is  analogous  to  the  joining  act,  in  mar- 
riage. Whatever  love  there  might  be  in  such  an  act,  and 
however  necessary  such  love  might  be  to  render  it  sincere,  or 
whatever  love  might  follow  alter,  it  is  not  this,  but  the  act  of 
marriage,  that  so  unites  the  parties,  as  that  the  one  shall  be 
interested  in  the  possessions  of  the  other. 

"  In  short,  by  the  above  representation,  I  can  see  a  cordial 
and  virtuous  acquiescence  to  be  necessary  to  the  enjoyment  of 
an  advantage,  and  a  fitness  in  its  being  so:  yet  not  such  a  fit- 
ness as  those  maintain  who  speak  of  a  merit  of  congruhy,  but 
a  Jitness  of  wisdom, 

"  Again  ;  There  is  a  Jitness  of  wisdom  in  the  established 
connexion  between  rcfientance  and  the  remission  of  sins.  That 
such  a  connexion  exists  in  the  Scriptures,  I  imagine  you  will 
not  deny.  Neither  can  you  doubt,  whether  repentance  be  a 


MR.    FULLER.  253 

moral  exercise  of  mind  ;  yet  you  will  not  say,  that  this  moral 
exercise  is  that  on  account  of  which  we  are  forgiven  ;  but  that 
it  is  wholly  for  Christ's  sake,  as  much  as  we  are  justified 
wholly  for  the  sake  of  his  righteousness.  Here,  again,  you 
must  make  use  of  the  distinction  which  you  say  is  '  too  fine.' 
It  is  true,  repentance  does  not  occupy  the  same  place  with  re- 
spect to  forgiveness,  as  faith  does  with  respect  to  justification  ; 
for  we  are  not  said  to  be  forgiven  by  repentance  :  yet  the  con- 
nexion is  as  real  in  the  one  case,  as  in  the  other.  Forgiveness 
follows  upon  repe.ntance,  which  in  a  virtue  ;  and  it  is  Jit  it  should, 
ratiier  than  go  before  it :  and  yet  it  is  not  for  the  sake  ot  that 
-virtue,  but  of  the  blood-shedding  of  Christ,  that  we  are  forgiven. 
You  allow,  and  that  rightly,  that  justification  includes  the  for- 
giveness of  sins  :  if  there  be  no  forgiveness,  therefore,  without 
repentance,  (which  the  Scriptures  abundantly  teach,)  there  can 
be  no  justification  without  repentance.  Repentance,  conse- 
quently, must  be  implied  or  included,  in  the  very  nature  of  jus- 
tifying faith  ;  as  much  -as  the  forgiveness  of  sins  is  included 
in  justification.  Nor  does  this  idea  confound  faith  and  repen- 
tance, any  more  than  the  other  confounds  justification  and 
pardon. 

"  Again  :  There  is  a  fitness  of  wisdom  in  the  established 
connexion  between  receiving  Christ,  and  having  fiowtr,  right, 
or  privilege,  to  become  the  sons  of  God.  John  i.  12.  And  re- 
ceiving Christ  you  will  admit  to  be  a  holy  or  moral  exercise, 
including  the  concurrence  of  the  will.  It  is  the  direct  opposite 
of  rejecting  him,  or  receiving  him  not.  ver.  11.  Yet  you  wiij 
not  say,  that  it  is  as  a  reward  for  having  received  him,  that  he 
confers  upon  us  the  blessing  of  adoption.  We  are  predestinated 
to  that  relation,  merely  of  grace,  by  Jesus  Christ,  and  not  as 
the  reward  of  any  thing  good  in  us.  Here  then,  you  must  again 
admit  of  a  distinction  which  you  say  is  *too  fine.'  Adoption 
follows  upon  receiving  Christ,  which  is  a  virtue  ;  (and  it  is 
wisely  ordered  that  it  should  ;)  and  yet  it  is  not  for  the  sake  of 
that  virtue,  but  from  the  free  grace  of  God,  through  our  Lord 
Jesus  Christ,  that  we,  of  aliens,  are  made  sons. 

"  If  I  can  find  opportunity,  1  may  take  some  notice  of  the 
other  parts  ef  your  letter,  at  some  future  time.  Meanwhile, 


MEMOIRS,  &C. 

I  only  say,  that  writing  upon  subjects  of  difference  is  as  un-, 
pleasant  to  me  as  it  can  be  to  you,  and  perhaps,  more  so,  on  ac- 
count of  the  indisposition  which  attends  me.  And,  having  stated 
my  views,  I  do  not  intend  to  keep  up  a  controversy.  If  I  can 
receive  any  fresh  light  from  your  communications,  I  shall  be 
obliged  to  you  ;  but  probably,  I  shall  not  largely  reply  any  more, 

«  I  am, 

«  With  sincere  respect  and  esteem, 
«  Yours, 

«  A.  FULLER." 

This  letter  was  not  communicated  to  me  by  Mr.  Fuller's 
family,  but  by  a  friend  of  Mr.  M'Ltan,  to  whom  he  had  lent 
it,  giving  him  express  permission  to  take  a  copy  :  he  thought  it 
contained  a  perspicuous,  neat,  and  yet  full  abridgment  of  those 
views  in  which  Mr.  Fuller  ancl  Mr.  M'Lean  did  not  agree  ;  and 
therefore,  as  he  wished  it  to  be  inserted,  I  could  have  no  objec- 
tion, who  always  was  equally  averse,  with  my  departed  friend, 
from  the  sentiments  herein  opposed  by  him.  I  once  had  a  very 
pleasant  interview  with  Mr.  MlLean,  and  sincerely  respect  his 
memory,  as  a  very  worthy,  good  man,  whose  talents  were  highly 
respectable :  but  this  is  no  reason  that  I  should  scruple  to 
avow,  that  I  considered  him,  in  these  points,  to  have  been  mis- 
taken ;  though,  on  some  other  particulars,  he  dissented  from 
Mr.  Sandeman,  and  ably  opposed  him. 

In  the  year  -1800,  when  certain  projects  were  formed  to 
abridge  the  religious  liberties  of  the  Dissenters,  Mr.  Fuller 
corresponded  with  some  distinguished  senators  on  the  subject, 
and,  in  a  very  respectful  and  judicious,  but  firm  and  upright 
manner,  pointed  out  the  pernicious  tendency  ot  the  measures 
in  contemplation.  Copies  of  these  letters  now  lie  before  me^ 
But,  as  I  should  not  think  it  justifiable  to  publish  them  with- 
out the  express  approbation  of  the  gentlemen  to  whom  they 
were  addressed ;  so  I  conceive  there  is  no  occasion  to  solicit 
their  consent,  as  it  is  well  known  the  design  was  abandoned, 
and  indeed,  issued,  through  the  good  hand  of  God  and  the 
kind  dispositions  of  government,  in  the  confirmation  and  ex- 
tension of  our  liberties. 


CHAP.  IX. 

»IR.  FULLER'S  FIRST  MARRIAGE—HIS  PARENTAL  AF^ 
FECTION ACCOUNT  OF  HIS  FIRST  DAUGHTER  SA- 
RAH— MRS.  FULLER'S  ILLNESS  AND  DEATH — LINES 
WRITTEN  BY  HIMSELF,  IN  REFERENCE  TO  THAT* 

EVENT HIS  SECOND   MARRIAGE,  TO  THE  DAUGHTER 

OF  THE  REV.  WILLIAM  COLES,  OF  WHOM   SOME  AC- 
COUNT  IS   GIVEN   IN   A   NOTE HIS  SECOND  FAMILY— 4 

DOMESTIC     COMFORT DISTRESS     RESPECTING    HIS 

ELDEST    SON REVIEW    OF  TRIALS  AND  MERCIES 

ACCOUNT  OF  HIS  SECOND  DAUGHTER    SARAH,    IN    A 

UOTE ACCOUNT   OF    HIS  NEPHEW,  JOSEPH  FULLER 

- — MR.  FULLER'S  CONCERN  FOR  THE  SPIRITUAL  WEL- 
FARE   OF    MORE    DISTANT    RELATIVES    AND    FRIENDS. 

MR.  FULLER'S  first  wife  was  Miss  Gardiner,  the  daughter 
Of  Stephen  and  Sarah  Gardiner,  people  of  respectable  char- 
acter, at  Burwell,  in  Cambridgeshire ;  to  whom  he  was  mar- 
ried, Dec.  23,  1776.  The  original  name  of  the  family  was 
Gardner;  and  a  tradition  has  been  preserved,  that  it  was 
changed  to  Gardiner,  at  the  instigation  of  Stephen  Gardiner^ 
who  was  Bishop  of  Winchester,  in  Queen  Mary's  reign  5 
though  it  is  hard  to  divine  his  motive  for  wishing  this  altera- 
tion, as  no  reason  of  relationship  is  assigned  for  it ;  but  so  it 
is  said  that  it  was.  Mrs.  Fuller  was  born  in  1756,  and  died 
in  1792.  She  had  eleven  children,  three  of  whom  were  buried 
at  Sonant  five  at  Kettering,  one  in  the  seaa  and  two  survive; 


256  MEMOIRS  or 

All  of  those  who  were  removed  by  death,  were  very  young, 
excepting  two  ;  namely,  a  daughter,  who  was  between  six  and 
seven  years  of  age  ;  and  his  eldest  son,  who  died  at  sea,  when 
he  was  about  twenty-seven  years  old*  The  loss  of  the  former 
was  a  very  severe  trial,  of  which  I  shall  insert  a  full  and  par- 
ticular account.  The  latter,  as  is  well  known  to  many,  was 
a  source  of  .unspeakable  distress  fur  several  years;  yet  a 
brief  relation  of  this  affliction  may  be  truly  instructive  both 
to  parents  and  to  young  people.  Some  degree  of  hope  at- 
tended it  in  the  end. 

For  the  best  interests,  not  only  of  his  children,  but  of  all  his 
relatives,  both  by  consanguinity  and  affinity,  Mr.  Fuller  always 
discovered  a  great  concern.  This  will  appear  by  his  letters  to 
more  distant  relatives,  as  well  as  by  those  addressed  to  his 
own  children,  and  by  other  interesting  documents. 

With  respect  t$  his  parental  tenderness  towards  his  daugh- 
ter, I  was  an  eye-witness  of  the  uncommon  degree  in  which 
it  was  manifested.  She  died,  May  30,  1786,  aged  six  years  and 
nearly  six  months.  She  was  a  very  intelligent  and  amiable 
child,  and  gave  much  hopeful  evidence  of  early  piety  ;  as  I  can 
attest,  from  my  own  knowledge,  as  well  as  from  the  following 
narrative  drawn  up  by  her  father : 

"Sarah  Fuller  was  born  at  Soham,  Dec.  7,  1779.  At  the 
time  of  her  birth,  I  committed  her  to  God,  as  I  trust,  I  have 
done  many  times  since.  Once  in  particular,  viewing  her  as  she 
lay  smiling  in  the  cradle,  at  the  age  of  eight  months,  my  heart 
was  much  affected  :  I  took  her  up  in  my  arms,  retired,  and  in 
that  position,  wrestled  hard  with  God  for  a  blessing  ;  at  the  same 
time,  offering  her  up,  as  it  were,  and  solemnly  presenting  her 
to  the  Lord  for  acceptance.  In  this  exercise  I  was  greatly  en- 
couraged by  the  conduct  of  Christ  towards  those  who  brought 
little  children  in  their  arms  to  him,  for  his  blessing.  At  that 
time  I  wrote  the  following  lines  : — 

1  Dear  child  !  for  thee  my  bowels  bow  they  rell ! 
Fruit  of  n.y  body,  darlmg  of  my  soul, 
Thv  face  creates  «  smile,  thy  soul  »  sigh  ; 
Thy  life  may  pleasure  give— but— U  to  die  ! 


MR.    FULLER.  25f 

2  To  dark  futurity  my  thoughts  will  run  ; 

To  lhat  vast  world  when  this  is  fled  and  gone  : 

For  whom  art  thou  brought,  forth  ?  for   what  ?  for  where  i 

For  thee  thy  parent's  heart  is  pain'd  with  care. 

3  In  whose  kind  hand  shall  I  thy  welfare  leave  ? 
Not  in  mine  own — myself  I  cannot  save  ; 
Jesus  !  to  thee  an  offering  here  I  give  : 
Lord,  hear  and  'O  that  Ishmael  might  live  !' 

"  I  have  frequently,  when  carrying  her  in  my  arms,  sung 
over  her  such  lines  as  the  following,  with  much  affection : 

'  May'st  thou  live  to  know  and  fear  him, 

Trust  and  love    him  all    th\    days  ; 
Then  go  dwell  for  ever  near  him, 

See  his  face,  and  sing  his  praise.' 

«  Or  this, 

'  O  may'st  thou  live  to  reach  the  place 
Where  he  unveils  his  lovely  face  ; 
There  all  his  glories  to  behold, 
And  sing  his  name  to  harps  of  gold.' 

"  She  was  a  child  of  great  vivacity  of  spirits ;  but  nothing 
remarkably  vicious.  The  only  time  in  her  life  that  I  had  any 
occasion  to  use  a  rod,  was  when  she  was  about  four  years  old, 
for  telling  a  lie.  Having,  one  day,  a  great  inclination  to  go  out, 
she  asked  leave,  and  then  said  she  had  obtained  it,  when  she 
had  not. 

"  About  Michaelmas,  1785,  she  was  invited,  by  our  kind 
friends  Mr.  and  Mrs.  Ryland  and  Miss  Tyler,  to  pay  a  visit  to 
Northampton.  She  went,  and  stayed  11  or  12  weeks  :  during 
which  time,  Mrs.  Trinder  kindly  took  her  into  her  school.  Her 
proficiency  in  reading,  spelling,  Sec.  gave  us  much  pleasure. 
But,  alas  for  us  !  how  long  will  it  be,  ere  we  cease  to  set  our 
eyes  upon  that  which  is  not?  Death  was  then  preparing  to 
blast  our  rising  hopes ! 

"  About  December,  she  was  taken  ill,  at  Northampton :  our 
friends  thought  her  illness  to  be  the  measles.  After  a  while, 
she  seemed  to  get  better,  and  on  the  16th  of  December,  I 
brought  her  home.  From  the  time  of  her  return,  we  perceived 
a  remarkable  seriousness  in  her,  with  an  uncommon  delight  in 
33 


258 


MEMOIRS    OF 


reading  ;  and  in  our  apprehension,  her  faculties  ripened  much 
beyond  her  years.  But  still  her  illness  hung  about  her.  In  the 
beginning  of  February,  she  had  the  measles  of  a  certainty  ;  and 
we  hoped  she  would  have  recovered  her  health  after  the  turn  of 
the  disorder  :  but,  from  that  time,  she  grew  weaker  and  weaker, 
and  her  complaints  grew  more  and  more  alarming.  A  hectic 
fever  prayed  upon  her  perpetually.  At  this  time,  however,  she 
took  great  delight  in  reading  accounts  of  the  conversion  of  little 
children,  and  seemed  to  love  those  children  for  their  godliness.. 
She  would  read  these  narratives  aloud,  when  she  was  obliged  to 
pause  at  every  few  words  to  get  breath,  till  indeed,  we  were  ob- 
lisred  to  restrain  her,  lest  it  should  overcome  her.  At  the  same 
time,  she  discovered  great  tenderness  of  conscience,  hi  respect 
of  speaking  the  truth,  and  keeping  holy  the  Lord's  day.  She 
would  chide  her  brother  Robert,  if  he  discovered  any  inclination 
to  play  on  that  day. 

"  In  March,  I  took  her  to  Northampton,  for  the  advice  of  Dr. 
Kerr.  This  cheered  her  spirits  ;  as  she  loved  Mr.  and  Mrs. 
Rvland,  and  wanted  to  go  to  see  them.  She  stayed  there  a 
fortnight,  and  her  aunt  with  he>.  The  doctor  was  very  attentive 
and  kind  to  her,  and  we  still  hoped  she  might  recover.  During 
this  fortnight,  I  went  two  or  three  times  to  see  her  ;  and  one  eve- 
ning, being  with  her  alone,  she  asked  me  to  pray  for  her.  *What 
do  you  wish  me  to  pray  for,  my  dear  ?'  said  I.  She  answered, 
c  That  God  would  bless  me,  and  keep  me,  and  save  my  soul/ 
<  Do  you  think  then,  that  yon  are  a  sinner  ?'  Yes,  father.  Fear- 
ing lest  she  did  not  understand  what  she  said,  I  asked  her, 
«  What  is  sin,  my  dear  ?'  She  answered,  *  Telling  a  story.'  I 
comprehended  this,  and  it  went  to  my  heart.  *  What  then,  (I 
said,)  you  remember,  do  you,  my  having  corrected  you  once,  for 
telling  a  story  I*  «  Yes,  father/  <  And  are  you  grieved  for  hav- 
ing so  offended  God  ?'  *  Yes,  father/  I  asked  her,  if  she  did 
not  try  to  pray  herself.  She  answered,  « I  sometimes  try,  but 
I  do  not  know  how  to  pray  ;  I  wish  you  would  pray  for  me,  till 
I  can  pray  for  myself/  As  I  continued  to  sit  by  her,  she  ap- 
peared much  dejected.  I  asked  her  the  reason.  She  said,  « I 
am  afraid  I  should  go  to  hell/  '  My  dear,  Csaid  I,)  who  told  you 
so  V  '  Nobody,  (said  she,)  but  I  know,  ii  I  do  not  pray  to  the 


MR.  FULLEB.  259 

Lord,  I  must  go  to  hell/    I  then  went  to  prayer  with  her,  with 
many  tears. 

"  After  her  return  to  Kettering,  we  soon  saw,  with  heart-rend- 
ing grief,  evident  symptoms  of  approaching  dissolution.  Her 
mind  seemed  to  grow,  however,  in  seriousness.  She  had  some 
verses  composed  for  her,  by  our  dear  triend  Mr.  Ryland.* 
These,  when  we  rode  out  for  the  air,  she  often  requested  me  to  say 
over  to  her.  She  several  times  requested  me  to  pray  with  her. 
I  asked  her  again,  if  she  tried  to  pray  herself:  I  found  by  her 
answer  that  she  did,  and  was  used  to  pray  over  the  hymn  which 
Mr.  Ryland  composed  for  her.  I  used  to  carry  her  in  my  arms 
into  tne  fields,  and  there  talk  with  her  upon  the  desirableness 
of  dying  and  being  with  Christ,  and  with  holy  men  and  women, 
and  with  those  holy  children  who  cried,  4  Hosanna  to  the  S»n  of 
David.'  Thus  I  tried  to  reconcile  her,  and  myself  with  her,  to 
death,  without  directly  telling  her  she  would  soon  die.  One  day, 
as  she  lay  in  bed,  I  read  to  her  the  last  eight  verses  of  Rev.  vii. 
<  They  shall  hunger  no  more,  nor  thirst,'  &c.  I  said  nothing 
upon  it,  but  wished  to  observe  what  effect  the  passage  might 
have  upon  her  ;  I  should  not  have  wondered  if  she  had  been  a 

*  1  Lord  teach  a  little  child  to  pray, 

Thy  grace  betimes  impart, 
And  grant  thy  holy  Spirit  may 
Renew  my  infant  heart. 

2  A  helpless  creature  I  was  born, 

And  from  the  womb  1  stray'd  ; 
I  must  be  wretched  and  forlorn, 
Without  thy  mercy's  aid. 

3  But  Christ  can  all  my  sins  forgive, 

And  wash  away  their  stain, 
And  fit  my  sou;  with  him  to  live, 
And  in  his  kingdom  reign. 

4  To  him  let  little  children  come, 

For  he  hath  said  they  may ; 
His  bosom  then  shall  be  their  home. 
Their  tears  he'll  wipe  away. 

5  For  all  who  early  seek  his  face, 

Shall  surely  taste  his  love  ; 
Jesus  will  guide  them  by  his  grace, 
To  dwell  with  him  above. 


260  MEMOIRS    OF 

little  cheered  by  it.  She  said  nothing  however  ;  but  looked 
very  dejected.  I  said,  '  My  dear,  you  are  unhappy.'  She  was 
silent.  I  urged  her  to  tell  me  what  was  the  matter.  Still  she 
was  silent.  I  than  asked  her,  whether  she  was  afraid  she  should 
iiot  go  to  that  blessed  world  of  which  I  had  been  reading  ?  She 
answered,  '  Yes.'  '  But  what  makes  you  afraid,  my  dear  ?'  4  Be- 
cause, (said  she  with  a  tone  of  grief  that  pierced  me  to  the  heart,) 
'  I  have  sinned  against  the  Lord.'  4  True  my  dear  (said  I,)  you 
have  sinned  against  the  Lord  ;  but  the  Lord  is  more  reaciy  to 
forgive  you,  if  you  are  grieved  for  offending  him,  than  I  can 
be  to  forgive  you,  when  you  are  grieved  for  offending  me ;  and 
you  know  how  ready  I  am  to  do  that.'  I  then  told  her  of  the 
great  grace  of  God,  and  the  love  of  Christ  to  sinners.  I  told  her 
of  his  mercy  in  forgiving  a  poor  wicked  thief,  who,  when  he 
was  dying,  prayed  to  him  to  save  his  soul.  At  this  she  seemed 
cheered,  but  said  nothing. 

"  A  few  weeks  before  she  died,  she  asked  her  aunt  to  read 
to  her.  c  What  shall  I  read  my  dear  ?'  said  her  aunt.  4  Read, 
(said  she)  some  book  about  Christ.'  Her  aunt  read  part  of  the 
2 1  st  chapter  of  Matthew,  concerning  the  children  who  shouted 
'  Hosanna  to  the  Son  of  David.'  As  her  death  drew  nigh,  I 
was  exceedingly  affected,  and  very  earnest  in  prayer  for  her 
soul,  having  now  no  hope  of  her  life.  I  used  frequently  to  an- 
ticipate her  death,  when  I  could  think  of  nothing  but  the  lan- 
guage of  Reuben — *  The  child  is  not :  and  I,  whither  shall  I 
go  !'  I  thought  at  that  time,  if  any  thing  were  said  at  her  funeral, 
it  must  be  from  some  such  passage  as  this  In  short,  1  am 
sure  I  was  affected  to  excess,  and  in  a  way  that  I  ought  not  to 
have  been,  and  1  believe  should  not  have  been,  if  I  had  loved 
God  better.  About  this  time  I  threw  myself  prostrate  on  the 
floor,  and  wept  exceedingly,  yet  pleading  with  God  for  her. 
The  agony  of  my  spirit  produced  a  most  violent  bilious  com- 
plaint, which  laid  me  quite  aside  for  several  days.  I  then  re- 
flected that  I  had  sinned,  in  being  so  inordinately  anxious.  From 
this  time  1  felt  a  degree  of  calmness  and  resignation  to  God. 
On  the  morning  of  the  30th  of  May,  I  heard  a  whispering  in  an 
adjoining  room.  1  suspected  the  cause,  and  upon  inquiry, 
found  that  the  child  had  expired  about  six  o'clock,  with  a  slight 


MR.    FULLER.  261 

convulsive  motion,  without  a  sigh  or  a  groan.  I  called  the  family 
to  me,  and  as  well  as  I  was-  able,  attempted  to  bless  a  taking  as 
well  as  a  giving  God  ;  and  to  implore  that  those  of  us  who  were 
left  behind-  might  find  grace  in  tne  wilderness.  The  words  of 
tbt.  S.iunamite  were  at  that  time  much  to  me — 4  It  is  well.'  These 
worus  were  preached  from  at  her  funeral,  by  Mr.  Ryland.  My 
affection  had  prevented  my  seeing  her  the  last  few  days  of  her 
Hie ;  but  1  just  went  and  took  leave  of  her  body,  before  the 
coffin  was  fastened  down  ;  though  that  was  almost  too  much  for 
me,  in  my  weak  and  afflicted  state.  Our  friends  were  all  very 
kind  to  her.  Miss  Han  and  Miss  Walker  had  bought  her  some 
toys  in  London,  in  the  beginning  of  May,  and  she  counted  much 
of  their  coming  down,  but  died  before  their  arrival.  She  was  very 
patient  under  her  afflictions,  scarcely  ever  complaining,  even 
when  her  bones  penetrated  through  her  skin.  If  ever  we  were 
obliged  to  force  her  medicines  upon  her,  though  she  would  cry 
a  little  at  the  moment,  yet  she  would  quickly  leave  off,  and  kiss 
us,  saying,  k  I  love  you,  I  love  you  all ;  I  love  you  for  making  me 
take  my  medicines,  for  1  know  you  do  it  for  my  good.'  Her 
constitution  was  always  rather  delicate,  her  temper  amiable,  and 
her  behaviour  engaging. 

'*  Surely,  it  will  now  be  our  concern  to  flee  from  idolatry, 
and  to  hold  ail  created  comfort  with  a  loose  hand  ;  remembering 
the  counsel  of  the  apostle—'  The  time  is  short :  it  remaineth, 
that  those  who  have  wives  be  as  though  they  had  none ;  and 
those  that  weep  as  though  they  wept  not ;  and  those  that  buy, 
as  though  they  possessed  not ;  and  they  that  use  this  world,  as 
not  abusing  it ;  for  the  fashion  of  this  world  [or,  this  world, 
which  is  but  a  figure,  fashion,  or  form,  without  substance — ] 
passeth  away.' " 

The  following  verses  were  composed  by  her  father,  on  this 
painful  occasion : 

1  The  child  is  not !  and  whither  shall  I  go  ? 
(My  pensive  soul  thought  thus  to  urge  it's  grief.) 
To  what  retreat  betake  me,  high  or  low, 

A/Vhere  burden'd  hearts  might  find  some  short  relief  ? 

2  Shall  1  betake  me  to  the  grove,  or  field, 
Or  walk,  or  hill,  or  dale,  or  grassy  plain  ? 


262  MEMOIRS    OF 

Alas  !  what  joy  can  all  creation  yield  ? 

Creation  mourns,  where  death  and  sorrow  reign. 

3  Prospects,  instead  of  easing,  aggravate  ; 

Ah  !  here  she  walk'd,  there  pluck'd  ihe  opening  flower ; 

Turn,  turn  away  mine   eyes,  nor  irritate 

The  wound  that's  BOW  too  deep  for  earth  to  cure. 

4  But  stop  ...  the  child  is  not !  henee  will  I  go 
To  God,  who,  though  he  frowns,  is  still  the  same ; 
She  was  not  mine,  though  fond  I  calt'd  her  so  ; 
He  gave,  he  took  away — I'll  bless  his  name. 


£  Look  neither  inward,  on  thy  griefs  to  pore  ; 
Nor  outtviird,  for  relief  from  creature  joys ; 
Look  upiaurd,  to  thy  God  :  thence  help  implore, 
And  help  will  come,  and  good  from  ill  arise. 

i  Nor  mourn  to  excess  her  loss  ;  but  say,  '  Tis  well  ;* 
What  matter  when  she  died,  if  but  to  God  ? 
If  rear'd  for  him.  though  young  or  old  she  fell, 
His  bosom  is  her  last,  her  blest  abode- 

7  Here  oft  she  read  of  early  piety, 
She  read,  and  loved,  and  pausM  at  every  breath, 
Till  di.re  affliction  wore  her  strength  away, 
And  quench'd  her  powers,  and  seal'd  her  lips  in  death. 

.8  What  then  ?  her  powers  we  trust  will  now  expand  ; 
Our  views,  compared  with  hers,  *.re  childish  now  ; 
She  needs  not  little  toys  to  amuse  her  miad, 
Christ  whom  she  sought,  will  be  her  all  to  know. 

$  Surely  her  sorrows  now  to  joys  are  turn'd, 
Yes — sure  her  infant  cries  are  heard  xnd  sped ; 
Her  tender  hop^s  to  blest  fruition  changM, 
And  all  her  fears  are  now  for  ever  fled. 

10  But  must  we  part  ?  and  can  I  bid  farewell  ? 
We  must— 1  can — I  have— 1  kissed  her  dust— 

.  1  kiss'd  her  clay  cold  corpse,  and  bade  farewell, 
Until  the  resurrection  of  the  just ! 

11  Return,  my  soul ;  the  works  of  life  attend  ; 
A  little  while  to  labour  here  is  given  ; 
Meanwhile,  a  new  attractive  thou  shalt  find. 

To  draw  thee  hence,  and  fix  thine  heart  in  heaven. 

I  received  several  affecting  letters  from  her  father,  during 
this  affliction,  and  will  now  transcribe  some  extracts  from  a  few 
6fthem. 


MR.  FULLER,  263 

On  May  12,  1786,  after  describing  the  child's  illness,  he 
adds  ; — "  I  preached  last  Lord's  day,  from  Deut.  xxxiii.  27. — 

<  The  Eternal  God  is  thy  refuge,'  &c.  and  from  Psa.  Ixxii.  18 

*  Blessed  be  the  God  of  Israel,  who  only  doeth  wondrous  things.' 
Have  had  some  very  tender  times,  and,  when  viewing  the  child 
as  dead,  have  been  contented  and  resigned.  This  has  lasted 
for  some  days.  I  have,  for  a  day  or  two  past  been  greatly 
afraid  of  her  recovering  just  so  much  as  to  raise  my  expecta- 
tions, so  that  I  should  have  all  the  work  to  do  over  again*  But, 
perhaps  that  is  best.  If  there  is  a  need  be  for  trials,  then  there 
is  a  need  for  such  circumstances  to  attend  the  events  which 
befal  us  as  shall  make  them  trials.  And  one  of  David's  trials 
was,  «  Thou  hast  lifted  me  up,  and  cast  ra^  down.'  I  feel,  how- 
ever, how  much  I  am  indebted  to  mercy  for  many  things  which 
attend  this  affliction.  I  sometimes  think,  how  if  my  two  other 
Children  should  be  left,  and  grow  up  wicked,  and  then  be  cut 
off  like  Eli's  sons  !'  Ah,  in  many  of  my  prayers,  /  know  not 
•what  I  ask.  May  God  in  mercy,  do  that  for  me,  and  those  that 
pertain  to  me,  which  is  best !  I  feel  a  sweet  satisfaction  in  the 
reins  being  in  his  hand,  the  government  upon  his  shoulders.  £ 
have  just  now  been  preaching  from  Matth.  xx.  20 — 24.  I  fear 
I  am  not  yet  able  to  drink  the  cup  ;  and,  if  not  to  drink  the 
cup,  perhaps  I  am  less  able  to  bear  a  deliverance  from  it 

"  Yesterday,  my  wife  had  pretty  much  talk  with  her,  and- 
seemed  much  satisfied  of  her  piety,  and  resigned  to  her  death. 
For  my  part,  I  feel  very  differently  at  different  times.  But, 
generally  speaking,  except  when  my  feelings  are  attacked  by 
the  child's  heavy  afflictions,  or  any  fresh  symptom  of  death,  I 
find  a  far  greater  degree  of  composure  and  resignation  to  God? 
than  ever  I  could  have  expected.  I  can  easily  see,  it  may  be 
best  for  us  to  part.  I  have  been  long  praying,  in  I  know  not 
What  manner,  that  I  might  be  brought  nearer  to  God  ,•  find 
some  particular  evils  in  my  heart  subdued ;  have  my  mind  en- 
larged in  experimental  knowledge ;  and  my  heart  more  weaned 
from  things  below,  and  set  on  things  above.  Perhaps,  by  <  ter- 
rible things  in  righteousness'  God  may  answer  these  petitions. 
O  that  it  may  be  so  indeed  !  I  feel  however,  that  it  must  be 
something  more  than  affliction  to  effect  that  1  I  have  long 


264  MEMOIRS    OF 

to  my  shame,  that  though  drawing  and  living  near  to  God  are 
the  happiest  things  in  the  world,  yet  such  is  the  carnality  of  my 
heart,  that  I  have  long  been  in  the  nabit  of  despairing  of  ever 
attaining  them.  I  have  often  of  iate^,  said  of  holim  ss,  what 
Solomon  said  of  wisdom — I  thought  to  be  holy,  but  it  was  far 
from  me." 

The  following  extracts  are  from  letters  not  dated  ;  but,  cer- 
tainly, written  about  the  same  time. 

"...  The  child  is  much  lower,  and  worse  than  ever  she 
has  been  before.  We  have  been  up  with  her  two  nights,  and 
are  almost  overcome  in  body  and  mind.  For  my  pan,  I  con- 
sider her  as  already  dead,  and  have  had  some  degree  of  resig- 
nation to  it.  Have  just  now  been  preaching  from  Psa.  xciv.  19. 
•— « In  the  multitude  of  my  thoughts  within  me,  thy  comforts  de- 
light my  soul.'  Last  Lord's-day,  I  preached  from  1  Thes.  iii.  3. 
— *  Let  no  man  be  moved  by  these  afflictions,  knowing  that  we 
are  thereunto  appointed.* 

"  Some  time  ago,  I  spoke  at  a  child's  grave,  -and  addressed 
the  children.  It  appears  that  a  little  girl  was  wrought  upon, 
\vho  is  since  dead.  At  that  time,  her  father  and  mother  were 
common  church  people,  and  very  ignorant.  She  talked  much 
to  them,  before  her  death.  I  hope  the  Lord  has  lately  wrought 
upon  her  mother.  She  seems  very  tender-hearted,  and  in  real 
earnest  after  the  salvation  of  her  soul.  Her  husband  has  op- 
posed her  coming  to  meeting,  but  in  vain.  He  beat  her,  but  to 
no  purpose.  He  then  despaired,  and  began  to  think  her  right, 
and  himself  wrong.  <  If  it  had  not  been  of  God,'  said  he,  k  I 
had  overcome  it  before  now.'  The  man  invited  me  to  visit  his 
wife.  I  went,  expecting  him  to  dispute  with  me,  as  he  had 
threatened  to  stop  me  in  the  street  ior'that  purpose :  according- 
ly, I  gave  him  an  opportunity ;  but,  says  the  poor  man,  <  I  have 
'done  with  that  now ;  my  chief  concern  is,  *  What  must  /  do  to 
be  saved  ?'  I  cannot  tell  how  it  may  issue,  as  to  him  :  he  comes 
sometimes  to  meeting,  and  sometimes  goes  to  hear  Mr  Lydiat, 
at  Warkton.  Last  Tuesday,  I  was  visited  by  a  lad,  who  has 
lately  been  observed  to  weep  very  much  under  the  word.  He 
appears  to  have  every  mark  of  true  and  deep  contrition,  and 
says  a  sermon  I  preached,  two  or  three  months  ago,  on  sinners 


MR.    FULLER*  26.5 

being  under  the  curse  of  the  Mmighty^  was  first  of  use  to  him. 
The  Lord  carry  on  his  work !" 

"...  Last  night  I  preached  a  funeral  sermon  for  one  person, 
and  buried  two  others  within  nine  days.  Can  I  be  supposed  to 
be  otherwise  than  dejected  ?  We  attend  all  we  can,  to  our  own 
health  ;  but  is  it  to  be  wondered  at,  that  we  should  be  sensibly 
affected,  and  very  ill  ?  To  nurse  a  child  with  her  afflictions,  is 
great  work  for  the  hands ;  but  to  nurse  altogether  without  hope, 
is  far  greater  work  for  the  heart.  '  But  the  hope  of  a  better 
world.'  True  ;  and  I  never  felt  the  worth  of  that  consideration 
so  much  as  now.  Ten  thousand  worlds  seem  nothing,  in  con- 
sideration of  the  hope  of  the  gospel.  Sure  I  know  something 
more  than  I  did,  of  the  meaning  of  <  Thanks  be  to  God  for  his 
unspeakable  gift !'  and  <  Underneath  are  the  everlasting  arms  I* 
with  many  other  passages.  And  yet,  after  all,  O  what  shall  I 
say  ?  I  am  not  without  hope — hope,  as  I  said,  with  which  I 
would  not  part  for  ten  thousand  worlds ;  but  I  have,  as  well, 
painful  fears.  My  dear  Brother,  the  matter  is  of  too  great  im- 
portance to  be  thought  of  lightly.  However,  the  nearer  I  am 
to  God,  the  better  it  is  with  me.  I  thought  last  night,  it  was 
some  relief,  that  God  had  enjoined  us  to  train  up  our  children  in 
the  nurture  and  admonition  of  the  Lord.  Methought,  there 
was  never  a  command  but  what  had  a  promise  connected  with 
it ;  for  God  does  not  say  to  the  seed  of  Jacob,  Seek  ye  my  face 
in  vain.  I  also  felt  some  satisfaction  in  reflecting  on  my 
conduct  towards  the  child,  and  thought  of  the  Psalmist's  words : 
*  Lord,  I  have  hoped  in  thy  salvation,  and  have  done  thy  com- 
mandments.' 

"  I  enjoy  great  satisfaction  and  pleasure,  whenever  I  think 
of  her  having  been  at  Northampton.  If  there  is  any  change 
in  her,  I  think  your  conv  ersation,  or  the  instructions  she  received 
at  Northampton,  were  the  means.  Those  few  verses  you  wrote 
for  her,  she  will  still  repeat,  though  obliged  to  rest  for  want  of 
breath,  between  almost  every  word.  She  says3  <  Mr,  Ryland 
34 


266          ,  MEMOIRS    OF 

told  me  when  I  had  got  them,  he  would  make  me  some  more ;' 
and  requested  I  would  write  to  you  for  them.* 

"  While  things  are  as  they  are,  I  really  cannot  leave  home  ; 
and  I  think  it  is  very  precarious,  whether  I  can  be  at  the  As- 
sociation. I  will  if  I  can,  if  it  be  only  a  little  while  on  the 
Wednesday ;  but  all  is  uncertain.  She  may  live  till  then,  or 
she  may  die  within  a  few  days.  Be  it  when  it  may,  I  fear  the 
stroke  will  be  attended  with  such  an  additional  shock  to  my 
feelings,  that  I  shall  be  very  unfit  for  preaching.  I  should 
think  therefore,  my  preaching  at  the  Association  should  not 
be  expected.  If  I  can  come,  I  do  not  want  to  make  excuses ; 
but  if  any  other  were  in  my  place,  I  think  I  should  readily 
excuse  him. 

*  I  sent  these,  three  days  before  her  death  : 

t  God  is  very  good  to  me, 

0  that  I  may  thankful  be ! 

1  upon  his  will  depend, 
May  his  glory  be  my  end  ! 

2  When  I  any  sickness  feel, 
God  can  my  diseases  heal  ; 

If  he  does  not  choose  to  cure, 
He  can  help  me  to  endure. 

r- 

3  If  I  am  to  live  awhile, 
Trifles  will  my  heart  beguile, 
Sorrows  will  my  heart  molest, 
If  with  grace  I  am  not  blest. 

4  If  I  am  to  die  betimes, 

Christ  can  pardon  all  my  crimes, 
Make  me  fit  for  heaven,  and  then 
Death  itself  shall  be  my  gain. 

5  Lord,  thy  grace  to  me  impart, 
Cleanse  my  soul,  renew  my  heart ! 
Else  1  cannot  live  to  thee, 
Death  will  else  a  terror  be. 

6  Life  is  pleasant,  if  I  may 
All  my  life  thy  will  obey ; 
Death  is  pleasant,  too,  if  I 

Then  shall  dwell  with  God  on  high. 


MR.    FULLER.  26? 

"  The  poor  child  is,  on  the  whole  very  patient.  I  can  only 
add,  let  us  have  the  continuance  of  your  prayers. 

"  Ever  yours, 

«A.  FULLER." 

N.  B.  Mr.  Fuller  did  come ;  and  preached,  on  Wednes- 
day, the  7th  of  June,  from  Ephes.  ii.  5. — <  By  grace  ye  are 
saved.* 

Various  references  to  this  affliction  occur  also  in  his  diary. 
For  example : 

"  1785. — Set  off  for  home  with  my  little  girl,  who  has  been 
ill  at  Northampton.  My  heart  greatly  misgives  me.  If  God 
should  take  either  of  my  children  from  me,  1  seem  as  if  I  could 
scarcely  sustain  it.  On  this  account,  I  have  many  fears.  Oh  ! 
I  could  give  up  their  bodies  ;  but  I  want  to  see  piety  reigning- 
in  their  souls,  before  they  go  hence,  and  are  no  more  seen.  I 
tried,  as  I  rode  home,  to  converse  with  my  child,  and  to  instil 
religious  principles  into  her  mind.  O  that  God  would  bless  my 
endeavours  to  that  end  ! 

"  Jan.  8,  1786. — Exceedingly  distressed,  on  Wednesday  night. 
I  fear  God  will  take  away  my  child.  I  have  reason  to  fear, 
some  awful  chastisement  is  at  hand,  either  spiritual  or  temporal. 
Methought  I  was  like  the  Israelites,  who  had  little  or  no  heart 
to  call  upon  God,  except  in  times  of  trouble.  I  tried  however, 
to  pray  to  him  now.  I  think  I  could  willingly  submit  to  God 
in  all  things,  and  bear  whatever  he  should  lay  upon  me,  though 
it  were  the  loss  of  one  of  the  dear  parts  of  myself,  provided  I 
could  but  see  Christ  formed  in  her.  I  know  also,  that  I  have  no 
demand  on  the  Lord  for  this ;  but  surely,  I  ought  to  bless  his 
name,  that  he  does  not  require  me  to  be  willing  to  be  lost 
myself,  or  that  that  should  be  the  end  of  any  whom  he  has  put 
under  my  care.  The  chief  exercise  of  my  mind,  this  week, 
has  been  respecting  my  poor  child.  I  thought  I  felt  some-  re- 
signation to  Divine  Providence.  «  The  Lord  liveth,  and  blessed 
be  my  Rock.' 

"  Feb.  5. — Our  dear  little  girl  has,  this  week,  much  alarmed 
our  fears.  On  Thursday  morning  the  measles  came  out :  we 
hope  the  illness  may  be  carried  off  hereby.  As  I  sat  by  her, 


268  MEMOIRS    OF 

that  morning  alone,  she  requested  me  to  pray  with  her ;  saying,, 
though  she  was  greatly  afflicted  with  pain,  yet  she  would  try 
to  lie  still.  I  did  so,  and  found  some  tenderness  of  heart  on  her 
behalf. 

"Feb.  19,  1786. — Great  are  the  mercies  of  the  Lord  towards 
us,  who  has  now  given  me  another  daughter.  Mercy  and 
judgment  both  visit  us.  Now,  my  fears  chiefly  turn  on  the 
child  that  is  afflicted.  My  Sabbaths,  I  fear,  are  spent  to  little 
purpose;  I  have  so  little  love  to  God  and  the  souls  of  men; 
but  I  felt  much  impressed  to-night,  in  catechising  the  children. 
Thought  about  my  own  little  girl,  and  talked  to  them  concerning 
her. 

"  March  12,  to  April  16 — For  this  month  past,  I  have  had 
great  exercise  of  heart,  on  account  of  my  poor  little  daughter : 
sometimes,  pleading  hard  with  God,  on  her  account ;  at  other 
times,  ready  to  despair,  fearing  that  God  would  never  hear  me. 

"  19.  (Lord's  day.)— A  distressing  day  to  me.  My  concern 
for  the  loss  of  her  body  is  but  trifling,  compared  with  that  of 
her  soul.  I  preached  and  prayed  much,  from  Matth.  xv.  25.—- 
<  Lord,  help  me  1*  On  Monday,  I  carried  her  towards  North- 
ampton. Was  exceedingly  distressed,  that  night;  went  to 
prayer,  with  a  heart  almost  broken.  Some  encouragement 
from  conversation  with  dear  brother  R.  I  observed,  that  God 
had  not  bouna  himself  to  hear  the  prayers  of  any  one,  for  the 
salvation  of  the  soul  of  another.  He  replied,  4  But  if  he  has 
not,  yet  he  frequently  does  so ;  and  hence,  perhaps,  though 
grace  does  not  run  in  the  blood,  yet  we  frequently  see,  it  runs 
in  the  line.  Many  more  of  the  children  of  God's  children  are 
gracious,  than  of  others.'  I  know,  neither  I  nor  mine  have 
any  claim  upon  the  Almighty  for  mercy;  but,  as  long  as 
there  is  life,  it  shall  surely  be  my  business  to  implore  his 
mercy  towards  her. 

"21. — Thought  I  saw  the  vanity  of  all  created  good.  I  saw, 
if  God  were  to  cut  off  my  poor  child,  and  were  not  to  afford  me 
some  extraordinary  support  under  the  stroke,  that  I  should  be 
next  to  dead  to  the  whole  creation,  and  all  creation  dead  to 
me  I  O  that  I  were  but  thus  dead,  as  Paul  was,  by  the  cross  of 
Christ. 


MR.   FULtER.  269 

«  23. — Preached  at  Woodford,  from  Psa.  1.  15.— < Call  upon 
me  in  the  day  of  trouble/  &c. 

a  26. — Had  a  pretty  good  day,  and  some  pleasure  at  the 
Lord's  supper ;  but  very  much  dejected  towards  night.  Read 
a  little  account  of  Eliza  Cunningham,  who  died  lately,  pub- 
lished by  her  uncle,  the  Rev.  Mr.  Newton;  it  was  very  af- 
fecting indeed. 

'» 27.—- Riding  to  Northampton,  to-day,  I  think  I  felt  greater 
earnestness  and  freedom  with  God  than  I  ever  had  before, 
in  this  matter.  I  seemed  likewise  more  willing  to  leave  her 
in  the  hands  of  God.  Some  tender  opportunities  in  prayer, 
with  her  and  for  her. 

«  28. — I  returned.  Went  back  to  Northampton,  on  Friday, 
and  stayed  over  Lord's  day.  I  had  some  pleasant  thoughts 
on  being  crucifitd  to  the  world)  and  on  casting  all  our  cares 
upon  the  Lord.  I  now  feel  more  of  an  habitual  resignation 
to  God.  If  I  could  take  the  reins  into  my  own  hand,  I  would 
not.  I  feel  a  satisfaction,  that  my  times,  and  the  times  of  all 
that  pertain  to  me,  are  in  the  Lord's  hands  This  also  I 
have  felt  all  along — never  to  desire  the  life  of  the  child,  unless 
it  be  for  her  present  and  eternal  good.  Unless  she  should 
live  to  the  Lord,  I  had  rather,  if  it  please  God,  she  might 
not  live  at  all. 

«  May  7.— I  was  tolerably  supported  under  the  approach- 
ing death  of  my  poor  child,  which  1  saw  drawing  on  apace.  I 
saw  I  must  shortly  let  her  fall.  With  floods  of  tears,  with  all 
the  bitterness  of  an  afflicted  father  mourning  for  his  first- 
born, I  committed  her  to  God,  to  his  everlasting  arms  when 
she  should  fall  from  mine. 

«  14 — 31. — Death!  Death  is  all  around  me!  My  friends 
die.  Three  have  I  buried  within  a  fortnight,  and  another  ,1 
shall  have  to  bury  soon !  Death  and  judgment  is  all  I  can 
think  about !  At  times  I  feel  reconciled  to  whatever  may  befal 
me.  I  am  not  without  good  hopes  of  the  child's  piety ;  and 
as  to  her  life,  desirable  as  it  is,  the  will  of  the  Lord  be  done. 
But,  at  other  times,  I  am  distressed  beyond  due  bounds.  On 
the  25th,  in  particular,  my  distress  seemed  beyond  all  measure. 
I  lay  before  the  Lord,  weeping  like  David,  and  refusing  to  be 


270  MEMOIRS    OF 

comforted.  This  brought  on,  I  have  reason  to  think,  a  bilious 
cholic :  a  painful  affliction  it  was ;  and  the  more  so,  as  it 
prevented  my  ever  seeing  my  child  alive  again !  Yes,  she  is 
gone  !  On  Tuesday  morning,  May  30,  as  I  lay  ill  in  bed,  in 
another  room,  I  heard  a  whispering.  I  inquired,  and  all  were 

silent all  were  silent  ! but  all  is  well  !  I  feel 

reconciled  to  God.  I  called  my  family  round  my  bed.  I  sat 
up,  and  prayed  as  well  as  I  could  ;  I  bowed  my  head,  and  wor- 
shipped, and  blessed  a  taking  as  well  as  a  giving  God. 

"  June  1,  1786. — I  just  made  a  shift  to  get  up,  to-day,  and 
attend  the  funeral  of  my  poor  child.  My  dear  Brother  Ryland 
preached,  on  the  occasion,  from  2  Kings  iv.  26. — *  It  is  well.* 
I  feel,  in  general  now,  a  degree  of  calm  resignation.  Surely? 
there  is  solid  reason  to  hope  that  she  has  not  lived  in  vain  ;  and 
if  she  is  but  reared  for  God,  it  matters  not  when  she  died.  I 
feel  a  solid  pleasure  in  reflecting  on  our  own  conduct  in  her  edu- 
cation :  surely,  we  endeavoured  to  bring  her  up  in  the  nurture 
and  admonition  of  the  Lord ;  and  I  trust  our  endeavours  were 
Dot  in  vain.  Surely,  her  visit  to  Northampton,  too,  was  blessed 
for  her  good  :  she  has  certainly  discovered,  ever  since,  great 
tenderness  of  conscience,  and  much  of  the  fear  of  God  ;  great 
regard  for  the  worship  of  God,  especially  for  the  Lord's  day  ; 
and  great  delight  in  reading,  especially  accounts  of  the  conver- 
sion of  some  little  children.  But  all  is  over  now ;  and  1  am,  in 
a  good  degree,  satisfied. 

n  3. — To-day,  I  felt  a  sort  of  triumph  over  death.  I  went 
and  stood  on  her  grave,  with  a  great  deal  of  composure  !  Re- 
turned, and  wrote  eleven  verses  to  her  memory. 

«  4. — Had  a  good  day,  in  preaching  on  these  light  afflictions. 
My  mind  seems  very  calm  and  serene,  in  respect  of  the  child- 

«  5. — Though  I  have  felt  resignation  and  serenity,  as  to  the 
death  of  my  child,  since  the  event  was  decided  by  an  infallible 
God  ;  yet,  alas  !  I  feel  the  insufficiency  of  trouble,  however 
heavy,  to  destroy  and  mortify  sin.  I  have  had  sad  experience 
ef  my  own  depravity,  even  while  under  the  rod  of  God. 

«  g. — I  fear,  something  more  awful  than  the  death  of  the  child 
awaits  me.  Though  I  have  been  in  the  fire,  yet  my  dross  is 
not  removed ;  nay,  it  seems  to  be  increased.  My  family  is  now 


MR.    FULLER.  271 

afflicted  nearly  throughout !  £  For  all  this  his  anger  is  not  turn- 
ed away,  but  his  hand  is  stretched  out  still.' 

The  next  scene  of  family  trouble,  through  which  he  was 
called  to  pass,  was  that  which  issued  in  the  removal  of  the  first 
Mrs.  Fuller,  a  very  amiable  and  excellent  woman.  With  her  I 
was  well  acquainted,  and  had  many  opportunities,  of  witnessing 
much  of  his  tenderness  towards  her,  under  her  frequent  afflic- 
tions. Her  death  took  place  during  my  second  visit  to  Bristol) 
whither  he  sent  me  a  most  affecting  account  of  that  event, 
which  I  read  to  many  friends  ;  who,  though,  at  that  time,  they 
knew  but  little  of  Mr.  Fuller,  yet  were  exceedingly  moved  by 
hearing  the  recital. 

I  have,  ever  since,  regretted  this  letters  being  lost,  by  a  friend 
to  whose  care  I  entrusted  it ;  as  I  am  persuaded  it  contained 
two  or  three  touching  expressions,  which  were  omitted  in  that 
which  I  afterwards  obtained  in  its  place.  The  latter  is  contained 
in  a  letter  written  by  him  to  Mrs.  Fuller's  own  parents. 

But,  as  every  affliction  put  him  on  closely  examining,  whether 
some  faulty  cause  might  not  be  found  in  himself,  on  account  of 
which  God  was  pleased  thus  to  chasten  him,  so  it  was  on  this 
occasion  ;  as  appears  by  the  following  extracts  from  his  diary, 
which  I  transcribe  before  I  copy  the  narrative. 

"July  10,  1792. — My  family  afflictions  have  almost  over- 
whelmed me ;  and  what  is  yet  before  me  I  know  not !  For 
about  a  month  past,  the  affliction  of  my  dear  companion  has  been 
extremely  heavy.  On  reading  the  fourth  chapter  of  Job,  this 

morning,  the  3d,  4th,  and  5th  verses  affected  me <  My  words 

have  upholden  many.  O  that  now  I  am  touched,  I  may  not 
faint !' 

"  25.— O  my  God,  my  soul  is  cast  down  within  me  !  The 
afflictions  in  my  family  seem  too  heavy  for  me  !  O  Lord,  I  am 
oppressed,  undertake  for  me  !  My  thoughts  are  broken  off> 
and  all  my  prospects  seem  to  be  perished  !  I  feel,  however^ 
some  support  from  such  Scriptures  as  these. — <  All  things  work 
together  for  good,  Sec. — God,  even  our  own  God,  shall  bless  us. 
— It  is  of  the  Lord's  mercies  that  we  are  not  consumed.'  One 
of  my  friends  observed,  yesterday,  that  it  was  difficult,  in  many 


272  MEMOIRS    OF 

cases,  to  know  wherefore  God  contended  with  us.  But  I 
thought,  there  was  no  difficulty  of  this  kind  with  me.  I  have 
sinned  against  the  Lord  ;  and  it  is  not  a  little  affliction  that  will 
lay  hold  of  me.  Those  words  have  impressed  me  of  late,  '  It 
was  in  my  heart  to  chastise  them.'  " 

Just  about  this  time,  he  wrote  to  me,  as  follows : — "  Mv  do- 
mestic trials  are  exceedingly  great,  far,  very  far,  beyond  what 
I  ever  met  with  before.  I  was  taken  very  ill  last  Friday,  July 
7,  with  a  pain  under  my  left  breast,  and  was  bled  on  Saturday- 
Yesterday,  (Lord's  day,)  I  could  not  engage  in  any  thing,  nor 
could  I  have  done  so,  if  Mr.  Hall,  who  providentially  was  in 
town,  had  not  been  here.  I  feel  better  this  morning*  though 
I  have  had  but  little  more  than  two  hours'  sleep.  You  need 
not  speak  of  it ;  but  Mrs.  Fuller  has  not  slept  at  all  last  night, 
and,  through  the  effect  of  her  hysterical  complaints,  she  is,  at 
this  time,  as  destitute  of  reason  as  an  infant.  My  heart  has 
not  much  sunk,  because  I  look  upon  the  derangement  of  her 
mind  to  be  temporary ;  but  the  Lord  knows  what  is  before  us  I 
I  feel  also  an  habitual  calmness,  in  finding  myself  just  in  that 
situation  that  God  would  have  me  be  in  ;  and  I  find,  that  now 
is  the  time  for  me  to  bear  witness  for  him.  Dear  Brother,  we 
have  each  of  us,  at  this  time,  our  peculiar  trials.  O  that  we 
may  be  found  unto  praise."  This  was  written  July  9,  1792. 

In  August,  I  visited  Bristol,  (where  I  had  before  spent  four 
Lord's  days,  in  March  and  April,^  and  while  there,  received 
the  affecting  account  of  Mrs.  F,'s  illness  and  death,  in  substance 
the  same  with  the  following. 

TO    MR.   GARDINER,    MRS.    FULLER'S    FATHER. 

"Aug.   15,  1792. 
«  Dear  and  Honoured  Father, 

«  You  have  heard,  I  suppose,  before  now,  that  my  dear  com- 
panion is  no  more !  For  about  three  months  back,  our  afflic- 
tions have  been  extremely  heavy.  About  the  beginning  of 
June,  she  was  seized  with  hysterical  affections,  which,  for  a 
time,  deprived  her  of  her  senses.  In  about  a  week,  however, 
she  recovered  them,  and  seemed  better ;  but  soon  relapsed 
again  :  and  during  the  months  of  July  and  August,  a  very  few 


MR.    FULLER.  273 

intervals  excepted,  her  mind  has  been  constantly  deranged. 
In  this  unhappy  state,  her  attention  has  generally  been  turned 
upon  some  one  object  of  distress :  sometimes,  that  she  had 
lost  her  children  ;  sometimes,  that  she  should  lose  me.  For 
one  whole  day,  she  hung  about  my  neck,  weeping,  for  that  I 
was  going  to  die,  and  leave  her.  The  next  morning,  she  still 
retained  the  same  persuasion  ;  but,  instead  of  weeping  for  it, 
she  rejoiced  with  exceeding  joy. — '  My  husband  (said  she,)  is 
going  to  heaven  ....  and  all  is  well  !  ....  I  shall  be  pro- 
vided for,'  &c.  Sometimes,  we  were  her  worst  enemies,  and 
must  not  come  near  her ;  at  other  times,  she  would  speak  to 
me  in  the  most  endearing  terms.  Till  very  lately,  she  has  been 
so  desirous  of  my  company,  that  it  has  been  with  much  diffi- 
culty that  I  have  stolen  away  from  her,  about  two  hours  in  the 
twenty-four,  that  I  might  ride  out  for  the  air,  my  health  having 
been  considerably  impaired.  But  lately,  her  mind  took  another 
turn,  which  to  me,  has  been  very  afflicting.  It  is  true,  she  never 
ceased  to  love  her  husband. — *  I  hare  had  (she  would  say,)  as 
tender  a  husband  as  ever  woman  had  ....  but  you  are  not  my 
husband !'  She  seemed,  for  the  last  month,  realiy  to  have  con- 
sidered me  as  an  impostor,  who  had  entered  the  house,  and 
taken  possession  of  the  keys  of  every  place,  and  of  all  that  be- 
longed to  her  and  her  husband  !  Poor  soul  1  for  the  last  month, 
as  I  said,  this  and  other  notions  of  the  kind  have  rendered  her 
more  miserable  than  I  am  able  to  describe  !  She  has  been  fully 
persuaded,  that  she  was  not  at  home  ;  but  had  wandered  some- 
where from  it,  had  lost  herself,  and  fallen  among  strangers  I 
She  constantly  wanted  to  make  her  escape  ;  on  which  account, 
we  were  obliged  to  keep  the  doors  locked,  and  to  take  away  the 
keys.  « No  !  (she  would  say  to  me,  with  a  countenance  fuH 

of  inexpressible  anguish,)  This  is  not  my  home you 

are  not  my  husband these  are  not  my  children.    Once, 

I  had  a  good  home  ....  and  a  husband  who  loved  me  .... 
and  dear  children  .  .  •  .  .  and  kind  friends  ....  but  where 
am  I  now  I  I  am  lost !  I  am  ruined !  What  have  I  done  ?  Oh  ! 
what  have  I  done  ?  Lord,  have  mercy  upon  me  !'  In  this  strain, 
she  would  be  frequently  walking  up  and  down,  from  room  to 
room,  bemoaning  herself,  without  a  tear  to  relieve  her,  wring- 
35 


"274  MEMOIRS    OF 

ing  her  hands,  first  looking;  upwards,  then  downwards  in  all  the 
attitudes  of  wild  despair !  You  may  form  some  conception 
what  must  have  been  my  feelings,  to  have  been  a  spectator  of 
all  this  anguish,  and  at  the  same  time,  incapable  of  affording 
her  the  smallest  relief. 

"  Though  she  seemed  not  to  know  the  children  about  her,  yet 
she  had  a  keen  and  lively  remembrance  of  those  that  were 
taken  away.  One  day,  when  I  was  gone  out  for  the  air,  she 
went  out  of  the  house.  The  servant,  missing  her,  immedi- 
ately followed,  and  found  her  in  the  grave-yard,  looking  at  the 
graves  of  her  children.  She  said  nothing  ;  but  with  a  bitter- 
ness of  soul,  pointed  the  servant's  eyes  to  the  wall,  where  the 
name  of  one  of  them  who  was  buried  in  1783,  was  cut  in  the 
stone.  Then,  turning  to  the  graves  of  the  other  children,  in  an 
agony,  she,  with  her  foot  struck  off  the  long  grass,  which  had 
grown  over  the  flat  stones,  and  read  the  inscriptions  with  silent 
anguish,  alternately  looking  at  the  servant  and  at  the  stones. 

"  About  a  fortnight  before  her  death,  she  had  one  of  the  hap- 
piest intervals  of  any  during  the  affliction.  She  had  been  la- 
menting, on  account  of  this  impostor  that  was  come  into  her 
house,  and  would  not  give  her  the  keys.  She  tried,  for  two 
hours  to  obtain  them  by  force,  in  which  time  she  exhausted  all 
her  own  strength,  and  almost  mine.  Not  being  able  to  obtain 
her  point,  as  I  was  necessarily  obliged  to  resist  her  in  this  mat- 
ter, she  sat  down  and  wept — threatened  me,  that  God  would 
surely  judge  me,  for  treating  a  poor  helpless  creature  in  such  a 
manner  !  I  also  was  overcome  with  grief :  I  wept  with  her. 
The  sight  of  my  tears  seemed  to  awaken  her  recollections. 
With  her  eyes  fixed  upon  me,  she  said,  .....<  Why,  are 
you  indeed  my  husband  ?'  Indeed,  my  dear,  I  am  I*  *  O  !  if  I 
thought  you  were,  I  could  give  you  a  thousand  kisses !'  '•Indeed) 
my  dear,  I  am  your  own  dear  husband  !'  She  then  seated  her- 
self upon  my  knee,  and  kissed  me  several  times.  My  heart 
dissolved,  with  a  mixture  of  grief  and  joy.  Her  senses  were 
restored,  and  she  talked  as  rationally  as  ever.  I  then  persuad- 
ed her  to  go  to  rest,  and  she  slept  well. 

"  About  two  in  the  morning,  she  awoke,  and  conversed  with 
me  as  rationally  as  ever  she  did  in  her  life  j  said,  her  poor 


MR.    FULLER.  275 

head  had  been  disordered,  that  she  had  given  me  a  deal  of 
trouble,  and  feared  she  had  injured  my  health  ;  begged  I  would 
excuse  all  her  hard  thoughts  and  speeches ;  and  urged  this  as 
a  consideration — l  Though  I  was  set  against  you,  yet  I  was  not 
set  against  you  as  my  husband.'  She  desired  I  would  ride  out 
every  day  for  the  air ;  gave  directions  to  the  servant  about  her 
family  ;  told  her  where  this  and  that  article  were  to  l?e  found, 
which  she  wanted  ;  inquired  after  various  lamily  concerns,  and 
how  they  had  been  conducted  since  she  had  been  ill :  and  thus 
we  continued  talking  together  till  morning. 

"  She  continued  much  the  same,  all  the  forenoon ;  was  de- 
lighted with  the  conversation  of  Robert,  whose  heart  also  was 
delighted,  as  he  said,  to  see  his  mother  so  well.  4  Robert,  (said 
she,)  we  shall  not  live  together  much  longer.'  <  Yes,  mother, 
(replied  the  child,)  i  hope  we  shall  live  together  for  ever  I*  Joy 
sparkled  in  her  eyes,  at  this  answer :  she  stroked  his  head,  and 
exclaimed,  *  O  bless  you,  my  dear  1  how  came  such  a  thought 
into  your  mind  ?' 

"  Towards  noon,  she  said  to  me,  <  We  will  dine  together, 
to-day,  my  dear  up  stairs/  We  did  so.  But  while  we  were 
at  dinner,  in  a  few  minutes  her  senses  were  gone ;  nor  did  she 
ever  recover  them  again  !  From  this  happy  interval,  however,! 
entertained  hopes  that  her  senses  would  return  when  sne  was 
delivered,  and  came  to  recover  her  strength. 

«  On  Thursday,  the  23d  instant,  she  was  delivered  of  a  daugh- 
ter, but  was  all  the  day,  very  restless,  full  of  pain  and  misery, 
no  return  of  reason,  except  that,  from  an  aversion  to  me  which 
she  had  so  long  entertained,  she  called  me  *  my  dear,'  and 
twice  kissed  me  :  said  she  *  must  die,'  and  '  let  me  die  my  dear,' 
said  she  <  let  me  die  !'  Between  nine  and  ten  o'clock,  as  there 
seemed  no  immediate  sign  of  a  change,  and  being  very  weary,  I 
went  to  rest ;  but  about  eleven,  was  called  up  again,  just  time 
enough  to  witness  the  convulsive  pangs  of  death,  which  in  about 
ten  minutes  carried  her  off. 

"  Poor  soul !  What  she  often  said  is  now  true.  She  was  not 
at  home  .  .  .  I  am  not  her  husband  .  .  .  these  are  not  her 
children  .  .  .  but  she  has  found  her  home  ...  a  home,  a  hus- 
band, and  a  family  better  than  these. 


276 


MEMOIRS    OF 


"  It  is  the  cup  which  my  Father  hath  given  me  to  drink,  and 
shall  I  not  drink  it  ?  Amidst  all  my  afflictions,  I  have  much  to 
be  thankful  for.  I  have  reason  to  be  thankful,  that  though  her 
intellects  were  so  deranged,  yet  she  never  uttered  any  ill  lan- 
guage, nor  was  ever  disposed  to  do  mischief  to  herself  or  others ; 
and,  when  she  was  at  the  worst,  if  I  fell  on  my  kness  to  prayer, 
she  would  instantly  be  still  and  attentive.  I  have  also  to  be 
thankful,  that  though  she  had  been  generally  afraid  of  death, 
all  her  life  time,  yet  that  fear  has  been  remarkably  removed  for 
the  last  half  year.  While  she  retained  her  reason,  she  would 
sometimes  express  a  willingness  to  live  or  to  die,  as  it  might 
please  God ;  and  about  five  or  six  weeks  ago,  she  now  and  then 
possessed  a  short  interval,  in  which  she  would  converse  freely. 
One  of  our  friends,  who  stayed  at  home  with  her  on  Lord's  days, 
says  that  her  conversation,  at  those  times,  would  often  turn  on  the 
poor  and  imperfect  manner  in  which  she  had  served  the  Lord,  her 
desires  to  serve  him  better,  her  grief  to  think  she  had  so  much 
and  so  often  sinned  against  him.  On  one  of  these  occasions, 
she  was  wonderfully  filled  with  joy,  on  overhearing  the  congre- 
tion,  while  they  were  singing  over  the  chorus,  *  Glory,  honour, 
praise,  and  power,'  Sec.  She  seemed  to  catch  the  sacred  spirit 
of  the  song. 

<k  I  mean  to  erect  a  stone  to  her  memory,  on  which  will,  prob- 
ably, be  engraved  the  following  lines: 

"The  tender  parent  wails  no  more  her  loss, 
Nor  labours  more  beneath  life's  heavy  load ; 
The  anxious  soul  releas'cl  from  fears  and   woes, 
Has  found  her  home,  her  children,  and  her  God. 

«  To  all  this,  I  may  add,  that  perhaps,  I  have  reason  to  be 
thankful  for  her  removal.  However  the  dissolution  of  such 
an  union  may  affect  my  present  feelings,  it  may  be  one  of  the 
greatest  mercies  both  to  her  and  me.  Had  she  continued, 
and  continued  in  the  same  state  of  mind,  (which  is  not  at  all  im- 
probable,) this,  to  all  appearance,  would  have  been  a  thousand 
times  worse  than  death. 

"  The  poor  little  infant  is  yet  alive,*  and  we  call  her  name 
jfathoni  j  the  same  name,  except  the  difference  of  sex,  which 

*  It  died  about  three  weeks  afterward^. 


MR.    FULLER.  277 

Rachel  gave  to  her  last-born  child.    Mr.  West  preached  a  fu- 
neral sermon,  last  night,  at  the  interment,  from  2  Cor.  v.  1. 
"  I  am, 

"  Dear  and  honoured  father, 
"  Yours,  in  great  affliction, 

"A.  FULLER." 

About  twelve  months  after,  I  received  a  letter,  from  which  I 
extract  the  following  lines  : 

«  Kettering,  Aug.  29,  1793. 
"  My  dear  Brother, 

" My  head  has  been  very  poorly  of  late  ;  and  my 

heart,  on  the  return  of  the  23d  of  August,  much  dejected.  Mr. 
Butler,  of  Gretton,  lately  lost  a  daughter,  of  twenty-four  years 
of  age.  I  preached  a  funeral  sermon  on  the  occasion  ;  and, 
riding  through  Corby  woods,  the  following  plaintive  lines  ran 
through  my  mind : 

"I,  who  ere\^hile  was  blessed  with  social  joys, 
With  joys  that  sweeten'd  all  the  ills  of  life, 
And  shed  a  cheerful  light  on  all  things  round, 
!Now  mourn  my  days  in  pensive  solitude. 
There  once  did  live  a  heart  that  cared  for  me  ; 
I  loved,  and  was  again  beloved  in  turn  : 
Her  tender  soul  would  sooth  my  rising  griefs, 
And  wipe  my  tears,  and  mix  them  with  her  own: 
But  she  is  not  !  and  1  forlorn  am  left, 
To  weep  unheeded,  and  to  serve  alone. 

•*  1  roam  amidst  the  dreary  woods  .  .  .  Here  once 
I  walk'd  with  her,  who  walks  no  more  with  me.* 
The  fragrant  forest  then  with  pleasure  smil'd  : 
Why  wears  it  now  a  melancholy  hue  ? 
Ah  me  !  nor  woods,  nor  fields,  nor  aught  besides, 
Can  grateful  prove,  where  grief  corrodes  the  heart ! 

**  God  of  my  life,  and  Guide  of  all  my  years  ! 
May  I  again  to  thee  my  soul  commend, 
And  in  thee  find  a  friend  to  share  my  griefs, 
And  give  me  counsel  in  each  doubtful  path, 
And  lead  me  on,  through  every  maze  of  life, 
Till  I  arrive  where  sighs  no  more  are  heard  !" 

*  "  I  went,  with  my  wife  and  sister,  into  these  woods,  in  the  nut-season 
..about  seven  years  ago." 


278 


MEMOIRS    OF 


With  reference  to  his  second  marriage^  Mr.  Fuller  writes 
thus : — 

"July  18,  1794. — Of  late,  my  thoughts  have  turned  upon 
another  marriage.  That  passage,  which  has  been  with  me  in 
all  my  principal  concerns  through  life — <  In  all  thy  ways  ac- 
knowledge him,  and  he  shall  direct  thy  paths,'  has  recurred 
again.  I  have  found  much  of  the  hand  of  God  in  guiding  me 
to  one  in  whom  I  hope  to  find  an  helper  to  my  soul. 

"  Oct.  27. — I  devote  this  day  to  fasting  and  prayer,  on  account 
of  my  expected  marriage  ;  to  entreat  the  blessing  ol  God  upon 
me,  and  upon  her  who  may  be  connected  with  me,  and  upon  all 
that  pertain  to  us.  This  morning,  previous  to  family  prayer,  I 
read  1  Kings  viii.  22 — 66.  The  38th  and  39th  verses  were 
much  to  me,  as  well  as  the  28th.  I  found  a  tenderness  of  heart  in 
prayer,  after  reading. 

"  Dec.  30. — This  day,  I  was  married :  and  this  day  will, 
probably,  stamp  my  future  life  with  either  increasing  happiness 
or  misery.  My  hopes  rise  high  of  the  former ;  but  my  times, 
and  the  times  of  my  dear  companion,  are  in  the  Lord's  hands. 
I  feel  a  satisfaction  that  in  her  I  have  a  godly  character,  as  well 
as  a  wife." 

The  above  are  extracts  from  Mr.  Fuller's  diary.  In  January, 
1795,  he  wrote  to  me  as  follows : 

" I  was  married  on  the  30th  of  December;  and 

though  we  made  as  little  parade  as  possible,  yet  the  bustle  and 
visits,  &c.  have  taken  up  too  much  of  my  time.  1  bless  God, 
for  the  prospect  I  have  of  an  increase  of  happiness.  It  is  no 
small  satisfaction,  that  every  one  of  our  relations  were  agree- 
able ;  that  there  are  no  previous  prejudices,  to  afford  ground 
for  future  jealousies.  Two  days  after  our  marriage,  we  invited 
about  a  dozen  of  our  serious  friends,  to  drink  tea  and  spend  the 
evening  in  prayer ;  which  they  did,  and  Mr.  Coles  concluded." 

Mr.  Fuller's  second  wife,  now  his  surviving  widow,  was  Miss 
Ann  Coles,  the  only  daughter  of  the  Rev.  William  Coles,  who 
lived  at  Ampthill,  in  Bedfordshire,  and  was  pastor  of  the  Baptist 
church  at  Maulden,  near  that  town.* 

*  Mr.  Coles  was  born  at  Daventry,  in  Northamptonshire,  March  2,  1735, 
(0.  S.)  of  pious  parents,  members  of  the  Presbyteriap  church  in  that  town. 


MR.    FULLER.  279 

The  following  letter  from  Mr.  Coles,  written  to  a  friend,  pre- 
viously to  this  union,  will  be  interesting  here,  as  affording  a  tes- 
timony of  the  high  esteem  entertained  by  him  for  Mr.  Fuller : 

11  Mr.  Fuller  is  a  person  who  possesses  such  an  high  sense 
of  honour,  that  you  may  place  an  entire  confidence  in  him : 

During  his  childhood  and  youth,  as  far  as  the  restraints  of  education  would 
permit,  he  walked  after  the  course  of  this  world,  till  about  the  nineteenth 
year  of  his  age  ;  when,  hearing  that  a  stranger  was  to  preach  at  Flower,  he- 
was  induced  to  go  to  hear  him.  This  sermon,  by  Mr  Bond,  of  Toft, 
together  with  an  affliction  wirh  which  he  was  soon  after  visited,  were  the 
means,  not  only  of  awakening  his  conscience,  but  of  bringing  him  to  the 
knowledge  of  the  Saviour  ;  he  having  had  before,  but  very  dark  and  indis- 
tinct views  of  the  gospel  The  Rev.  James  Hervey,  of  Weston  Favel, 
having  been  much  recommended  to  him  as  a  preacher,  he  went  thither, 
for  some  time,  to  hear  him.  In  1756,  he  resided,  for  a  time,  at  Northamp- 
ton, and  attended  on  the  ministry  of  Mr.  Tolley,  who  was  then  pastor  of 
the  church  in  College  Lane.  He  was  much  interested  in  his  preaching, 
and  greatly  affected  by  it  ;  and,  becoming  acquainted  with  some  of  the 
xaost  serious  people,  soon  felt  an  attachment  to  them  and  their  minister. 
On  his  birth-day,  1757,  (being  22  years  of  age,)  he  was  baptized,  and 
united  to  the  church,  having  been  led  into  the  doctrine  of  believer's  bap- 
tism by  immersion,  by  reading  the  New  Testament  only  ;  for  the  church 
then  admitted  of  mixed  communion,  as  they  do  to  tnis  day.  In  September, 
1757,  he  was  called  to  the  work  of  the  ministry  ;  after  which  he  preached  in 
several  neighbouring  villages,  and  in  July  1758,  removed  to  Newport  Pag- 
nel,  and  preached  to  the  little  Baptist  congregation  there,  for  ten  years  i 
at  the  expiration  of  which  term,  he  accepted  a  call  to  the  pastoral  office  at 
Maulden  where  he  was  ordained,  Oct.  28,  1768. 

When  Mr.  Coles  came  to  Maulden,  the  church  and  congregation  were 
in  a  very  low  state  ;  but  by  the  blessing  of  God  upon  his  diligent  and  faithful 
endeavours,  the  congregation  soon  increased,  and  many  were  added  to  the 
church. 

One  good  fruit  of  the  Baptist  Mission,  amongst  many  which  might  he 
noticed,  may  be  here  mentioned*  In  1795,  Mr.  Coles  was  at  the  Association 
at  Kettering  :  the  interesting  services  at  that  time  impressed  his  mind,  and 
excited  him  to  consider  what  might  be  done  for  the  cause  of  Christ  a* 
Ampthill.  This  had  been  thought  of  before,  and  wished  for  by  him  and 
some  of  his  friends.  When  Mr.  Coles  proposed  it  to  them,  several  cor- 
dially  acquiesced  ;  and  a  small  chapel  was  fitted  up,  on  his  own  premises, 
for  occasional  worship,  in  March  1797  :  he  was  at  the  expense  of  the  build- 
ing ;  and  the  friends  subscribed  for  the  seats.  It  was  an  high  gratification  to 
him  to  see  it  well  attended  :  his  house  and  his  heart  were  open  to  the 
ministers  who  so  kindly  supplied  it  by  themselves  and  their  students. 
This,  and  the  village-preaching  through  the  exertions  of  the  Bedfordshire 
Union,  increased  the  attendance  at  Muuklen,  so  that  it  was  found  ueces-* 


280  MEMOIRS    OF 

he  is  exceedingly  respected,  both  by  his  own  people,  and  by 
those  of  the  other  congregations,  who  do  not  attend  on  his  min- 
istry. One  of  Mr.  Fuller's  friends,  with  whom  I  have  been  on 
terms  of  friendship,  for  the  space  of  thirty-four  years,  says  of 
him,  that  he  knows  no  man  in  the  world  of  greater  respectability, 
or  more  worthy  of  esteem  in  every  view.  Indeed,  he  seemed 
to  have  a  good  refiort  of  all  men  ;  and  it  is  a  very  great  satis- 

sary  to  enlarge  the  meeting-house  there.  When  it  was  re-opened  July, 
1802,  it  was  a  gratifying  time  to  Mr.  Oles,  and  caused  tears  of  joy  ;  as  he 
observed  that  some  congregations  declined  as  their  pastors  increased  m 
age,  but  his  was  increased.  This  chapel  is  still  well  attended.  Mr.  Coles 
continued  the  affectionate  pastor  of  his  people,  till,  disabled  by  increasing 
infirmities,  he  resigned  his  charge,  April  14,  1805,  and  was  succeeded  by 
the  Rev.  Samuel  Hobson,  their  present  pastor  who  was  ordained  over  the 
church  in  1808  Through  the  divine  blessing  on  his  labours,  the  meeting- 
house  has  been  again  enlarged. 

M r.  Coles's  last  illness  was  short:  he  was  taken  worse  than  usual  oa 
Wednesday  May  17,  1809,  and  died  on  Saturday  the  20th,  aged  74.  His 
bodily  sufferings  were  great  during  that  period  ;  but  his  soul  was  supported. 
A  few  weeks  before  his  decease,  and  at  different  times  till  then,  the  fol- 
lowing expressions  dropped  from  his  lips,  besides  many  more,  which  could 
not  be  recollected.  • 

«•  Through  mercy,  I  have  ne  distressing  fears — T  have  ventured  my  all 
into  the  hands  of  Christ ;  and  if  I  perish,  1  perish  :  T  have  no  other  refuge 
— T  know  in  whom  I  have  believed,  &c  — I  have  not  those  ecstatic  joy's  some 
Christians  have  been  indulged  with,  but  I  have  a  steady  hope — (the  last 
words  were  repeated  with  an  emphasis) — 1  desire  entirely  to  submit  to 
the  dispensations  of  divine  providence — What  are  my  sufferings,  compared 
to  those  the  Lord  Jesus  endured  for  me,  if  I  am  a  believer  ? — I  hope  I 
would  not  entertain  an  hard  thought  of  God — «  A  guilty,  weak,  and  helpless 
worm,'  &c. — This  is  what  the  most  eminent  Christians  must  come  to, 
whatever  may  have  been  their  piety  or  literary  attainments '  He  frequently 
1-epeated  the  verse  abovementioned,  and  that  text,  '  I  know  in  whom  I 
have  believed.'  At  one  time,  especially,  he  spoke  with  such  energy,  and 
Such  a  continued  flow  of  spiritual  affection,  as  surprised  Mrs.  Coles,  con- 
sidering his  bodily  weakness  and  sufferings.  It  was  like^one  on  the  verge 
of  heaven  :  but  his  speaking  so  quick,  and  other  circumstances,  rendered 
her  incapable  of  recollecting  what  he  said.  Mr  Coles  was  exceedingly 
earnest  in  prayer  for  the  spiritual  prosperity  of  his  late  charge,  and  for 
their  present  pastor.  The  variety  and  fervour  of  his  petitions  was  remark- 
able, in  such  a  weak  state.  He  often  desired  that  the  12th  chapter  of 
Hebrews  might  be  read  to  him.  He  lamented,  that  he  had  done  no  more 
for  his  great  Master,  and  wished  and  prayed  to  this  effect— that  young 
abound  ia  the  work  of  the  Lord,  &c« 


MR.    FULLER.  281 

faction  to  me  to  be  fully  persuaded  of  this,  as  it  affords  a  pleasing 
prospect  of  happiness  for  my  daughter,  and  for  us  all,  in  a  nearer 
connexion  with  him. 

"  I  feel  an  entire  confidence  in  the  worthy  man  who  is  design- 
ed, by  Divine  Providence,  to  be  the  companion  of  my  daugh- 
ter's life.  I  love  him  ;  and  the  more  I  know  of  him,  the  more 
I  confide  in  him,  as  a  good  man,  and  a  favourite  of  God.  I 
believe  his  heart  is  right  with  God,  and  that  it  will  be  well  with 
him,  in  life,  in  death,  and  for  ever." 

As  Mr.  Fuller  entered  on  this  connexion  with  a  well-founded 
expectation  of  happiness,  so  he  was  by  no  means  disappointed. 
He  had  six  children  by  this  marriage  ;  but  the  Lord  saw  fit  to 
remove  three  of  them  in  their  infancy  ;  and  I  trust,  says  the 
surviving  mother,  we  were  enabled  to  say,  '  The  Lord  gave, 
and  the  Lord  hath  taken  away,  and  blessed  be  the  name  of  the 
Lord.*  Three  still  remain,  two  sons  and  one  daughter.*  May 
they  all  know  and  love  and  ^serve  the  God  of  their  parents. 

The  three  that  died  were  all  daughters  ;  the  eldest,  named 
Ann,  was  a  year  and  eight  months  old.  Both  her  parents  had 
been  sitting  up  all  night,  waiching  their  dear  little  infant,  the 
last  night  but  one  of  it's  life  ;  and  "  a  mournful  night  it  was.  I 
shall  ever  remember  it,  (says  the  mother,)  and  in  the  morning, 
my  dear  Mr.  Fuller  penned  these  lines  : 

"  Sweet  babe !  why  fix  thy  wishful  eyes  on  us  ? 
We  feel  thy  load  ;  but  cannot  give  thee  aid  ! 
Didst  thou  know  aught,  we  would  direct  thine  eyes 
To  H^M  from  whom  alone  thy  help  must  come. 
But  what  shall  we  do  now  ?— -We  will  convey 
Thy  looks,  expressive,  up  to  Heaven's  high  throne  ; 
And  plead,  on  thy  behalf,  with  HIM  who  gave 
A  blessing,  when  on  earth,  to  bakes  in  arms. 

"  On  babes  in  arms  our  Jesus  laid  his  hands ; 
And  at  the  instance,  too,  of  others'  prayers  : 
Were  they  not  parents  ?  Be  it  so,  or  not, 
If  others'  suit  prevail'd,  why  should  not  ours  I 
A  mother  pleaded  once  a  daughter's  cause, 
And  «  Be  it  to  thee  even  as  thou  wilt/ 
Was  Jesus'  answer  ! 

*  Since  the  first  edition  of  the  Memoir  was  printed,  Mrs.  Fuller  has  had 
to  mourn  the  loss  of  this  daughter,   the   eldest  of  her  children,  and  who 
seemed  to    be  her  principal  comfort  sinoe  Mr,  Fuller's  death.    Some  ac- 
count of  her  will  be  given  in  a  note. 
36 


282  MEMOIRS    OP 

•*  Oh  !  our  Redeemer,  and  our  God — our  help 
In  tribulation — hear  our  fervent  prayer  ! 
To  THEE  we  now  resign  the  sacred  trust. 
Which  thou,  erewhile,  didst  unto   us  commit. 
Soon  we  must  quit  our  hold   and  let  her  fall; 
Thine  everlasting  arms  be  then  beneath  !  ^ 

In  THEE  a  refuge  may  she  find  in  death, 
And  in  thy  bosom  dwell,  when  torn  from  ours  ! 
Into  thy  hands  her  spirit  we  commit, 
In  hope  ere  long  to  meet  and  part  no  more." 

Before  I  introduce  some  farther  instances  of  Mr.  Fuller's 
family  trials,  and  the  tender  feelings  of  his  mind  under  them, 
I  shall  take  the  liberty  of  inserting  part  of  a  letter  which  I 
received  from  Mrs.  Fuller,  since  her  irretrievable  loss,  in  which 
she  says— 

"  I  think,  dear  Sir,  there  was  no  one  better  acquainted  with 
the  dear  deceased,  in  his  public  character,  than  yourself :  we 
can,  therefore,  give  you  no  information  on  that  head ;  but  far 
be  it  from  me,  to  wish  it  to  be  held  up  in  the  style  of  panegyric. 
I  am  certain,  that  would  have  ill  accorded  with  his  sentiments 
and  feelings  ;  and  I  know  that  this  may  be  safely  left  to  your 
discretion  But  I  cannot  forbear  adding  my  testimony  to  my  late 
dear  husband's  conduct  in  his  domestic  character  ;  which,  so  far 
as  his  mind  was  at  liberty  to  indulge  in  such  enjoyments,  I 
must  testify  to.  have  been,  ever  since  I  had  the  happiness  of 
being  united  to  him,  of  the  most  amiable  and  endearing  kind. 
But  to  so  great  a  degree  was  he  absorbed  in  his  work,  as  scarcely 
to  allow  himself  any  leisure,  or  relaxation  from  the  severest  ap- 
plication ;  especially,  since  of  late  years,  his  work  so  accumu- 
lated on  his  hands.  I  was  sometimes  used  to  remark,  how  much 
we  were  occupied  ;  (for,  indeed,  I  had  no  small  share  of  care 
devolved  upon  me,  in  consequence ;)  his  reply  usually  was,  *  Ah, 
nay  dear,  the  way  for  us  to  have  any  joy,  is  to  rejoice  in  all 
our  labour,  and  then  we  shall  have  plenty  of  joy.'  If  I  com- 
plained, that  he  allowed  himstlf  no  time  for  recreation,  he  would 
answer,  '  O  no  :  all  my  recreation  is  a  change  of  work.'  If  I 
expressed  an  apprehension  that  he  would  soon  wear  himself 
out,  he  would  reply,  «  I  cannot  be  worn  out  in  a  better  cause. 
We  must  \vork  while  it  is  day  ;'  or,  «  Whatever  thy  hand  find- 
eth  to  do,  do  it  with  all  thy  might.' 


MTU    FULLER.  288 

«  There  was  a  degree  of  bluntness  in  his  manner ;  which  yet 
did  not  arise  from  an  unsociable  or  churlish  disposition,  but 
from  an  impatience  of  interruption  in  the  grand  object  of  his 
pursuit.  In  this  sense,  he  seemed  not  to  know  his  relations  or 
nearest  friends.  Often,  when  a  friend  or  an  acquaintance,  on 
a  journey,  has  called,  when  they  had  exchanged  a  few  words, 
he  would  ask,  l  Have  you  any  thing  more  to  say  ?  (or  something 
to  that  effect,)  if  not,  I  must  beg  to  be  excused  ;*  at  the  same 
time,  asking  them  to  stay,  and  take  some  refreshment,  if  they 
chose.  Yet,  you  know,  dear  Sir,  he  had  a  heart  formed  for  the 
warmest  and  sincerest  friendship  with  those  whose  minds  were 
congenial  with  his  own,  and  who  were  engaged  in  similar  pur- 
suits ;  and  I  never  knew  him  to  be  weary  of  their  company. 
I  am  fully  persuaded,  that  my  dear  husband  fell  a  sacrifice  to 
his  unremitting  application  to  the  concerns  of  the  Mission  j  but 
I  dare  not  murmur.  The  Lord  has  done  as  it  pleased  him  ; 
and  I  know  that  whatever  he  does  is  right." 

On  Mr.  Fuller's  side,  heuestified  his  gratitude  for  this  con- 
nexion, in  the  following  words  :-»-**  I  have  found  my  marriage 
contribute  greatly  to  my  peace  and  comfort,  and  the  comfort 
of  my  family  :  for  which  I  record  humble  and  hearty  thanks 
to  the  God  of  my  life  I" 

But  a  severer  trial  than  any  of  the  former  awaited  him ; 
which  proved  the  more  so,  in  consequence  of  the  hope  he  had 
once  seen  reason  to  indulge. 

On  May  12,  1796,  he  thus  writes  :•— "  This  day,  my  eldest 
son  is  gone  to  London,  upon  trial  at  a  warehouse  belonging  to 
Mr.  B.  My  heart  has  been  much  exercised  about  him.  The 
child  is  sober,  and  tender  in  his  spirit :  I  find,  too,  he  prays  in 
private ;  but  whether  he  be  really  godly,  I  know  not.  Sometimes 
he  has  expressed  a  desire  after  the  ministry  :  but  I  always  con- 
sidered that  as  arising  from  the  want  of  knowing  himself.  About 
a  year  and  a  half  ago,  I  felt  a  very  affecting  time  in  pleading 
with  God  on  his  behalf.  Nothing  appeared  to  me  so  desirable 
for  him,  as  that  he  might  be  a  servant  of  God.  I  felt  my  heart 
much  drawn  out  to  devote  him  to  the  Lord,  in  whatever  way  he 
might  employ  him.  Since  that  time,  as  he  became  of  age  for 


284  MEMOIRS    O* 

business,  my  thoughts  have  been  much  engaged  on  his  behalf. 
As  to  giving  him  any  idea  of  his  ever  being  engaged  in  the 
ministry,  it  is  what  I  carefully  shun  ;  and  whether  he  ever  will 
be,  is  altogether  uncertain  ;  I  know  not  whether  he  be  a  real 
Christian,  as  yet ;  or,  if  he  be,  whether  he  will  possess  those 
qualifications  which  are  requisite  for  that  work :  but  this  I  have 
done ;  I  have  mentioned  the  exercises  of  my  mind  to  Mr.  B' 
who  is  a  godly  man  ;  and  if,  at  any  future  time,  within  the  next 
five  or  six  years,  he  should  appear  a  proper  object  of  encour- 
agement for  that  work,  he  will  readily  give  him  up. 

"  I  felt  very  tenderly,  last  night  and  this  morning,  in  prayer. 
I  cannot  say, c  God,  before  whom  my  fathers  Abraham  and  Isaac 
did  walk ;'  but  I  can  say,  <  God  who  hath  fed  me  all  my  life 
long  unto  this  day,  the  Angel  which  redeemed  me  from  all  evil, 
bless  the  lad/  " 

In  a  very  short  time  however,  the  pleasing  hopes  he  had  in- 
dulged were  blighted.  aAlas!  alas !  (he  says,)  I  have  seen  that  in 
the  conduct  of  my  poor  boy,  which  has  almost  broken  my  heart  I" 
And  shortly  after,  he  adds,  "  I  perceive  I  have  great  unhappi- 
ness  before  me,  in  my  son,  whose  instability  is  continually  ap- 
pearing :  he  must  leave  London  ;  and  what  to  do  with  him  I 
know  not.  I  was,  lately,  earnestly  engaged  in  prayer  for  him, 
that  he  might  be  renewed  in  his  spirit,  and  be  the  Lord's ;  and 
these  words  occurred  to  my  mind—4  Hear  my  prayer,  O  Lord, 
that  goeth  not  forth  out  of  feigned  lips ;'  and  I  prayed  them 
over  many  times." 

It  remains  fora  future  day  to  declare,  whether,  or  not,  this 
prayer  on  his  behalf  was  answered.  His  subsequent  conduct, 
however,  for  many  years,  was  a  source  of  great  distress  to  his 
friends  ;  and  his  father's  heart  especially  was  » tried  and  wrung 
with  anguish.9 

In  1797,  his  father  procured  him  a  situation  in  Kettering ; 
but  a  restless  disposition  soon  discovered  itself,  and  in  1798,  he 
enlisted  in  the  army.  In  a  letter  to  me,  about  this  time,  his 
father  says  :  "  I  have,  indeed,  had  a  sore  trial  in  the  affair  you 
mention  :  but  I  do  not  recollect  any  trial  of  my  life,  in  which  I 
hadarhore  of  a  spirit  of  prayer,  and  confidence  in  God.  Many 
parts  of  Scripture  were  precious  ;  particularly  the  following : 


MR.    FULLER.  285 

*•  O  Lord,  I  know  not  what  to  do  ;  but  mine  eyes  are  up  unto 
thee. — O  Loid,  I  am  oppressed,  undertake  for  me. — Commit 
thy  way  unto  the  Lord,  and  he  shall  bring  it  to  pass — Cast  thy 
burden  on  the  Lord,  and  he  shall  sustain  thee. — All  things  work 
to^etner  for  good/  Sec.  Even  while  I  knew  not  where  he  was,  I 
felt  stayed  on  the  Lord,  and  some  degree  of  cheerful  satisfaction, 
tl-iit  things  would  end  well.  I  know  not  what  is  before  me  ; 
but  hitherto  the  Lord  hath  helped  me  ;  and  still  I  feel  resolved 
to  hope  in  his  mercy." 

In  a  little  time,  however,  being  understood  to  be  an  appren- 
tice, he  was  discharged.  Another  situation  was  found  for  him, 
but  in  vain  ;  for,  in  1799,  he  enlisted  among  the  Marines,  where 
he  continued  till  May,  1800.  He  then  seemed  to  be  sensible  of 
his  foUy ;  and,  calling  to  mind  the  excellent  instructions  he  had 
received  in  his  father's  house,  he  bewailed  the  loss  of  Sabbaths 
and  religious  opportunities  ;  and  feeling  the  misery  of  his  situ- 
ation, applied  to  his  father,  to  liberate  him.  This  appeal,  from 
a  returning  son  to  an  affectionate  parent,  was  not  in  vain  :  his 
heart  went  out  to  meet  him,  and  he  procured  his  discharge. 
But  the  poor  young  man,  having  acquired  a  habit  of  roving) 
could  not  brook  an  application  to  business,  and  in  about  a  month, 
again  left  his  situation  and  his  friends.  On  this  occasion,  his 
afflicted  father  thus  writes : — 

July  21,  1800.  The  sorrows  of  my  heart  have  been  in- 
creased, at  different  times,  to  a  degree  almost  insupportable  : 
yet  I  have  hoped  in  God,  and  do  still  hope,  that  I  shall  see  raer. 
cy  for  him  in  the  end.  The  Lord  knows,  I  have  not  sought 
great  things  for  him,  and  that  I  have  been  more  concerned 
for  the  wicked  course  he  was  following,  than  on  account  of 
the  meanness  of  his  taste.  O  may  the  Lord  bring  me  out  of 
this  horrible  pit,  and  put  a  new  song  in  my  mouth !" 

"  July  31. — O,  my  dear  Brother  I  My  heart  is  oppressed ; 
but  yet  I  am  supported.  Yesterday,  I  fasted  and  prayed,  the 
day  through.  Many  Scriptures  were  sweet  to  me  ;  particularly 
Matt.  xv.  25. — 4  Lord  help  me  !'— a  petition  in  which  a  parent 
was  heard  for  a  child,  after  repeated  repulses.  And  Psa. 
xxxiii.  22.  I  believe  I  shall  live  to  see  good,  in  some  way, 
come  out  of  it.  My  soul  is  at  rest  in  God." 


286  MEMOIRS    OF 

Perceiving  there  was  no  hope  of  his  settling  to  business,  his 
father  was  desirous  of  rendering  him  comfortable  in  the  line  of 
life  he  had  chosen  ;  and  by  the  kind  interest  of  a  friend,  pro- 
cured him  a  situation  in  a  merchant  ship.  But,  being  on  shore, 
one  Lord's  day,  before  he  joined  the  ship,  he  was  impressed  as 
a  sailor  ! 

Thus  his  father's  heart  was  pierced  through  with  many  sor- 
rows ;  but  the  deepest  wound  was  yet  in  reserve.  In  June,  1 80 1 , 
it  was  reported,  that  his  poor  boy  had  been  guilty  of  some  mis- 
demeanour ;  had  been  tried,  and  sentenced  to  receive  300 
lashes  ;  that  he  received  them,  and  immediately  expired  ! 

What  feeling  heart  can  forbear  the  deepest  sympathy  with 
my  dearest  Brother,  under  this  overwhelming  stroke  ? 

"  Oh  !  .  .  .  (says  he,)  this  is  heart-trouble  !  In  former  cases, 
my  sorrows  found  vent  in  tears :  but  now,  I  can  seldom  weep. 
A  kind  of  morbid  heart-sickness,  preys  upon  me,  from  day  to 
day.  Every  object  around  me  reminds  me  of  him  1  Ah  !  .  . . . 
he  was  wicked  ;  "and  mine  eye  was  not  over  him,  to  prevent 
it  ....  he  was  detected,  and  tried,  and  condemned  ;  and  I 
knew  it  not  ....  he  cried  under  his  agonies  ;  but  I  heard 
him  not  ....  he  expired,  without  an  eye  to  pity,  or  a  hand 

to  help  him  ! O  Absalom  I  my  son  !  my  son  !  would  I  had 

died  for  thee,  my  son  I 

"  Yet,  O  my  soul  !  let  me  rather  think  of  Aaron  than  of 
David.  He  *  held  his  peace,'  in  a  more  trying  case  than  mine- 
His  sons  were  both  slain,  and  slain  by  the  wrath  of  heaven  ; 
were  probably  intoxicated  at  the  time  ;  and  all  this  suddenly, 
without  any  thing  to  prepare  the  mind  for  such  a  trial !  Well 
did  he  say,  <  Such  things  have  befallen  me  !'  " 

Thus,  though  he  mourned  for  his  son,  yet  he  did  not  refuse  to 
be  comforted ;  and  in  a  few  days,  his  mourning  was  exchanged 
for  joy :  and  who  can  refrain  from  rejoicing  with  him  ?  for  his 
son  was  dead,  and  is  alive  again  ! 

"  Blessed  be  God  !  (says  he,)  I  find  the  above  report  is  un- 
founded !  I  have  received  a  letter  from  my  poor  boy.  Well ; 
he  is  yet  alive,  and  within  the  reach  of  mercy  !" 

Though  this  report  was  altogether  erroneous,  at  that  time  ; 
yet,  long  afterwards,  he  deserted  in  Ireland,  and  suffered  so 


MR.  FULLER.  28? 

severe  a  punishment,  as  to  be  totally  unfitted  for  the  service,  by 
the  dreadful  effects  it  had  on  his  health.  This  was  in  July, 
1804.  On  the  6th  of  that  month,  his  father  wrote  to  me,  as 
follows  :  "  1  arrived  at  home,  last  night,  [from  Ireland*]  well  in 
health  ;  but  greatly  oppressed  with  domestic  trials.  My  young- 
est child,  whom  I  left  well,  died  a  week  ago,  and  my  poor  wife 
was  and  is  greatly  tried  by  the  event,  which  was  the  more  dis- 
tressing by  my  absence.  My  poor,  unhappy  son  is  at  Cork.  I 
wrote  to  him,  and  he  to  me,  while  in  Ireland.  His  letter  inti- 
mated, that  he  had  but  little  hopes  of  living ;  having  a  com- 
plaint, for  several  months  back,  in  his  bowels.  He  expected  to 
be  discharged.  I  invited  him  home.  Last  night,  on  entering 
my  house,  I  found  all  in  deep  distress  ;  having  learnt,  by  a  let- 
ter which  he  wrote  to  a  relation  in  Cambridgeshire,  that  his 
present  illness  is  the  effect  of  having  received  350  lashes,  for 
desertion  !*  In  fact,  he  is,  in  a  manner,  killed  !  I  do  not  ex- 
pect his  recovery ;  or,  if  he  should  live,  that  he  will  ever  be  able 
to  provide  for  himself.  Yet,  if  this  were  but  the  means  of 
bringing  him  to  God,  I  should  rejoice.  Pray  for  us  !" 

Several  months  afterwards,  he  was  discharged ;  when  he 
came  to  Bristol,  and  called  at  my  house.  As  I  knew  that  Mr. 
Fuller  would  be  in  London  the  next  day,  on  his  way  into  Essex, 
I  sent  him  forward  immediately,  to  meet  him.  His  father  re- 
ceived him  with  the  tenderest  compassion,  and  put  him  under 
the  care  of  an  eminent  physician  in  town,  who  had  formerly 
resided  at  Kettering,  and  who  expressed  his  hope  of  soon  curing 
his  dysentery,  though  it  had  been  of  so  long  continuance.  Mr. 
F.  was  speedily  informed,  that  he  was  getting  better ;  and  pre- 
pared a  situation  for  him,  when  he  should  be  sufficiently  re- 
covered. Yet  the  poor  young  man  seemed,  after  all  his  suffer- 
ings, as  though  he  could  not  bear  the  thought  of  settling  to 

*  I  never  can  hear  of  these  horrible  punishments,  without  admiring  the 
God-breathed  humanity  of  the  law  of  Moses,  Deut.  xxv.  8.  but  especially 
the  blessed  reason  assigned  for  the  limitation — lest,  if  he  thould  exceed; 
and  beat  him  above  these,  with  many  stripes,  then  THY  BROTHER 
SHOULD  SEEM  VILE  UNTO  THEE.  If  Christian  legislators  had  any 
bowels  and  mercies  such  as  the  love  of  Christ  ought  to  inspire,  would  they 
let  the  Jews  so  far  exceed  them  in  humanity.  R- 


288  MEMOIRS    OF 

business.  «  Alas !  (said  his  father,  in  a  letter  to  me,  dated  April 
23,  1805,)  when  he  found  himself  getting  better,  he  asked  leave 
to  go  to  see  his  uncle,  at  the  «»ther  end  of  the  town,  and  returned 
no  more  !  Where  he  is  now,  I  know  not ;  but  should  not  won- 
der to  hear  that  he  was  again  in  the  army  or  the  navy." 

It  proved  to  be  the  ease,  that  he  had  enlisted  among  the 
Marines,  with  whom  he  went  to  sea,  and  his  friends  never  saw 
him  again. 

In  December,  1808,  after  his  return  from  a  voyage  to  Brazil, 
and  in  the  expectation  of  orders  to  sail  for  Lisbon,  he  wrote  to  his 
father,  acknowledging,  with  deep  contrition,  his  guilt  and  folly, 
and  earnestly  desiring  a  letter,  containing  a  repetition  of  that 
forgiveness  which  he  had  so  often  abused ;  urging  it,  on  the 
consideration  that  he  was  on  the  point  of  taking  a  voyage 
"  from  which  (says  he,)  I  may  never  return  !"  With  this  desire, 
of  course,  his  father  complied.  Ii  is  to  be  regretted  that  a  copy 
of  the  whole  letter  was  not  preserved  :  the  following  extract, 
however,  has  lately  been  found  :— 

«  Dec.   1808. 
«  My  dear  Robert, 

«  I  received,  with  pleasure,  your  dutiful  letter,  and  would  fain 
consider  it  as  a  symptom  of  a  returning  mind.  I  cannot  but 
consider  you  as  having  been  long  under  a  sort  of  mental  de- 
rangement, piercing  yourself  through,  as  well  as  me,  with  many 
sorrows.  My  prayer  for  you,  continually,  is,  that  the  God  of 
all  grace  and  mercy  may  have  mercy  upon  you.  You  may  be 
assured,  that  I  cherish  no  animosity  against  you.  On  the  con- 
trary, I  do,  from  my  heart,  freely  forgive  you.  But  that  which  I 
long  to  see  in  you,  is,  rept  ntance  towards  God,  and  faith  to- 
wards our  Lord  Jesus  Christ;  without  which,  there  is  no 
forgiveness  from  above. 

«  My  de««r  son  !  you  had  advantages  in  early  life ;  but,  being 
continually  in  profligate  company,  you  must  be  debased  in 
mind,  and  in  a  manner,  reduced  to  a  state  of  heathenism.  In 
some  of  your  letters,  I  have  observed  you  dashing,  as  it  were, 
against  the  rocks  of  fatalism  ;  suggesting,  as  if  you  thought 
you  were  appointed  to  such  a  course  of  life.  In  others,  I  find 
you  flattering  yourself  that  you  are  a  penitent ;  when,  perhaps, 


MR.    FULLER.  289 

all  the  penitence  you  ever  felt  has  been  the  occasional  melan- 
choly of  remorse  and  fear. 

"  My  dear  son  !  I  am  now  nearly  fifty-five  years  old,  and 
may  soon  expect  to  go  the  way  of  all  the  earth  !  But  before  I 
die,  let  me  teach  you  the  good  and  the  right  way.  '  Hear  the 
instructions  of  a  father '  You  have  had  a  large  portion  of  God's 
preserving  goodness ;  or  you  had,  ere  now,  perished  in  your 
sins.  Think  of  this,  and  give  thanks  to  the  Father  of  mercies, 
who  has  hitherto  preserved  you.  Think  too,  how  you  have 
requited  him,  and  be  ashamed  for  all  that  you  have  done. 
Nevertheless,  do  not  despair  I  Far  as  you  have  gone,  and  low 
as  you  are  sunk  in  sin,  yet,  if  from  hence,  you  return  to  God 
by  Jesus  Christ,  you  will  find  mercy.  Jesus  Christ  came  into 
the  world  to  save  sinners,  even  the  chief  of  sinners.  If  you  had 
been  ever  so  sober  and  steady  in  your  behaviour  towards  men, 
yet,  without  repentance  towards  God  and  faith  in  Christ, 
you  could  not  have  been  saved  :  and,  if  you  return  to  God  by 
him,  though  your  sins  be  great  and  aggravated,  yet  will  you  find 
mercy " 

As  this  poor  young  man  foreboded,  this  was  his  last  voyage. 
He  died  off  Lisbon,  in  March  1809,  after  a  lingering  illness, in 
which  he  had  every  attention  paid  him,  of  which  his  situation 
would  admit. 

From  the  testimony  of  his  captain,  and  one  of  his  messmates, 
we  learn  that  his  conduct  was  good,  and  such  as  to  procure  him 
much  respect :  and,  from  letters  addressed  to  his  father  and  his 
sister,  a  short  time  before  his  death,  we  hope  still  better  things ; 
we  hope  he  was  led  to  see  the  error  of  his  way,  and  to  make  the 
Lord  his  refuge  from  the  tempest  and  the  storm. 

His  death,  under  such  circumstances,  was  less  painful  to  his 
friends,  than  it  would  otherwise  have  been  ;  and,  in  a  sermon 
preached  the  Lord's  day  afttr  the  intelligence  was  received,  in 
allusion  to  this  event,  from  Rom.  x.  8,  9.  his  father  seemed  to 
take  comfort  from  three  ideas  :  that"l.  The  doctrine  of  free 
justification  by  the  death  of  Christ  is  suited  to  sinners  of  all 
degrees.  It  asks  not  how  long,  nor  how  often,  nor  how  greatly 
we  have  sinned :  if  we  confess  our  sins,  4  he  is  faithful  and  just 
to  forgive  us  our  sins.'  2.  It  is  suited  to  the  helpless  condition 
37 


290  MEMOIRS     OF 

of  sinners.  We  have  only  to  look  and  live.  3.  It  is  suited  to 
sinners  in  the  last  extremity.  It  answers  to  the  promised  mercy 
in  Deut.  iv.  29. — If  from  thence  thou  seek  the  Lord  thy  God,  thou 
shalt  find  him.  Some  are  far  from  home,  and  have  no  friend,  in 
their  dying  moments  to  speak  a  word  of  comfort  .  .  .  but  this 
is  near  !  When  Jonah  was  compassed  about  by  the  floods,  when 
the  billows  and  waves  passed  over  him,  he  prayed  to  the  Lord, 
and  the  Lord  heard  him."  .  .  . 

Here  he  was  obliged  to  pause,  and  give  vent  to  his  feelings 
by  weeping :  and  many  of  the  congregation,  who  knew  the 
cause,  wept  with  him  1  His  heart  was  full,  and  it  was  with  diffi- 
culty he  could  conclude,  with  solemnly  charging  the  sinner  to 
apply  for  mercy,  ere  it  was  too  late  ;  for  it  it  were  rejected,  its 
having  been  so  near,  and  so  easy  of  access,  would  be  a  swift 
witness  against  him. 

This  last  narrative  contains  many  things  very  painful  to  sur- 
viving friends,  which  they  would  gladly  have  buried  in  oblivion, 
and  which  I  would  never  have  inserted,  had  they  absolutely 
forbidden  me.  But  the  strong  room  which  there  seems  to  be, 
to  hope  that  so  affecting  an  account  may  be,  under  a  divine 
blessing,  the  means  of  reclaiming  some  unhappy  youth  in  sim- 
ilar circumstances,  or  of  deterring  others  from  rending  a  parent's 
heart  with  anguish,  and  involving  themselves  in  temporal  mis- 
cry  at  least ;  has  induced  them  to  yield  to  my  wish  for  its 
not  being  suppressed.  Parents  also  under  the  like  trying  cir- 
cumstances, may  I  think,  derive  much  instruction  from  this 
example. 

Mr.  Fuller's  trials,  in  1811,  though  of  a  different  nature  from 
the  foregoing,  were  very  paniful  and  accumulated.  In  Novem- 
ber, I  received  from  him  the  following  account  of  the  mercies 
he  had  experienced,  during  the  past  year,  in  the  midst  of  do- 
mestic afflictions : — 

"  I  feel  somewhat  better,  and  Joseph  has  good  nights.  About 
twelve  months  ago,  my  family  afflictions  began.  Sarah  lost  the 
use  of  her  limbs,  and  had  a  threatening  pain  in  her  side.  An- 
drew wasted  away,  under  what  the  faculty  pronounced  to  be 
4  a  confirmed  hectic.'  In  January,  when  I  went  to  London,  I 
expected  the  death  of  both.  Our  servant  also  was  seized  with 


MR.    FULLER.  291 

epileptic  fits.  In  April,  I  was  laid  aside  from  preaching,  for 
three  months ;  and  such  a  fever  hung  about  me,  as  when  I 
seemed  to  be  recovering,  would  often  throw  me  back.  Yet  after  a 
year's  afflictions,  I  have  much  to  be  thankful  for.  My  daughter 
though  not  well,  yet  has  recovered  the  use  of  her  limbs.*  An- 

*  Her  constitution,  however,  had  received  a  shock  from  which  she  never 
fully  recovered.  She  was  often  troubled  with  a  pain  in  her  side,  and 
during  the  last  eighteen  months  of  her  life,  was  frequently  attacked  with 
distressing  spasms  in  her  stomach,  and  sometimes  with  spitting  of  blood. 
This  was  particularly  the  case  about  the  time  of  her  father's  death.  'In  her 
weak  state,  this  bereavement  was  peculiarly  trying.  Her  sensations  on 
viewing  his  corpse,  were  very  acute  :  on  quitting  it,  she  felt  as  if  it 
addressed  her,  '  Prepare  to  meet  me  !*  and  she  said  to  a  young  friend,  that 
she  wished  her  soul  was  with  his.  She  afterwards  observed  to  the  same 
friend,  that  if  she  thought  she  should  see  her  father  again,  she  had  not  the 
least  desire  to  live  ;  nor  should  she  have  any  wish  for  his  return,  if  she  had 
any  hope  of  going  to  him.  Toward  the  end  of  the  summer  she  was  better  ; 
but  as  the  winter  advanced,  she  relapsed,  and  fell  into  a  deep  decline, 
which  resisted  all  medical  skill,  and,  in  a  few  months,  terminated  in 
death. 

Her  disposition  from  a  child,  was  amiable.  Integrity  was  a  prominent 
feature  in  her  character  She  appeared  to  possess  an  habitual  tenderness  of 
conscience,  and  was  the  subject  of  early  convictions  of  sin  ;  which,  though 
transientin  childhood,  were  more  permanent  as  she  advanced  in  years;  but 
owing  to  a  natural  reservedness,  accompanied  by  a  fear  of  deceiving  herself 
and  others,  it  was  very  difficult  to  ascertain  the  real  state  of  her  mind  and 
feelings  ;  and  when  she  had  unbosomed  herself,  she  seemed  to  repent,  as 
though  she  had  said  something,  which  after  ;>11  might  not  be  true  :  and  this 
suspicion  of  herself  continued  almost  to  the  last.  About  the  beginning  of 
her  last  illness,  in  reply  to  the  affectionate  inquiries  of  her  sister,  she  said, 
"  I  feel  a  great  deal  ;  but  am  afraid  to  speak  of  it,  lest  I  should  deceive 
myself  and  others.  Having  had  a  religious  education,  it  is  easy  to  talk 
about  religion  ;  and  !  am  afraid,  lest  what  I  have  felt  should  be  merely  the 
effect  of  having  enjoyed  such  a  privilege,  and  so  entirely  wear  off.  I  know 
religion  in  theory  ;  and  am  fearful,  lest  it  should  be  in  theory  only."  She 
tvept  much,  and  promised  to  communicate  as  much  of  her  mind  as  she 
could  ;  begging  however,  that  her  sister  would  not  mention  it  to  any  one  ;" 
*'  for,"  said  she,  "  possibly,  what  I  now  feel  may  be  only  on  account  of 
my  affliction  ;  and  then,  if  I  recover,  it  may  al!  wear  off,  and  I  may  bring 
a  disgrace  upon  religion." 

It  may  be  supposed,  that  this  interview  afforded  much  satisfaction  to  her 
friends  ;  which  was  increased  by  the  certainty  that  her  mind  had  been 
greatly  exercised  on  these  subjects,  previously  to  this  illness.  She  was  deeply 
sensible  of  the  disingenuousneus,  as  well  as  of  the  danger,  of  purposely 
deferring  the  concerns  of  religion  to  a  death  bed.  On  this  subject,  she  wsts 


292  MEMOIRS    OF 

drew  seems  quite  restored  to  health.  My  eldest  daughter  is,  I 
hope  comfortably  married.  And  my  son  John  has  been  lately 
baptized.  Bless  the  Lord,  O  my  soul,  and  forget  not  all  his 
benefits  I" 

once  heard  to  express  her  sentiments  strongly  :  On  being  told  of  a  young 
person  who  wished,  that  whenever  she  died,  it  might  be  of  a  consumption, 
that  time  might  be  afforded  her  to  repent  ;  she  said,  it  was  "  so  unreason- 
able to  expect  mercy  after  having  lived  in  sin  as  long  as  she  could  /" 

In  public  worship  she  was  a  very  attentive  hearer,  and  clearly  under- 
stood and  approved  the  doctrines  of  the  gospel.  Prayer-meetings  were  her 
peculiar  delight  ;  and  her  punctuality  in  attending  them  was  truly  exem- 
plary :  if  any  of  her  friends  seemed  indifferent  to  them,  observing,  "  It  is 
only  a  prayer-meeting,"  she  would  express  grent  disapprobation. 

It  was  pleasant  to  observe  the  earnest  desire  she  manifested  for  the 
spiritual  welfare  of  others,  especially  of  the  young.  Her  diligence  as  a 
teacher  in  the  Lord's  day  school,  was  worthy  of  observation  ;  and  she  was 
extremely  anxious  for  the  adoption  of  a  plan  which  had  been  proposed  for 
the  private  religious  instruction  of  some  of  the  elder  children  of  the  school, 
nor  would  she  rest  till  she  saw  it  accomplished,  though  her  diffidence 
would  not  allow  her  to  take  any  active  part  in-  it.  She  once  said  to  her 
mother,  in  reference  to  this  subject,  *'  Mother,  when  will  you  speak  about 
it  ?  I  feel  as  if  we  were  doing  no  good  ;  and  it  is  so  wicked  to  live  here 
onlv  to  eat  and  drink,  and  sleep!" 

During  her  illness,  she  spent  most  of  her  time,  when  able,  in  reading  the 
Psalms  and  the  New  Testament  ;  and  when  too  weary  herself  to  read,  she 
would  hear  the  Bible  rea.l  with  gres-t  pleasure:  and  from  her  questions 
and  remarks  upon  various  passages,  it  was  evident  that  she  was  deeply 
employed  in  meditating  upon  what  she  read  and  heard-  If  any  part  of  the 
Scriptures  interested  her  more  than  others,  it  was  the  life  and  death  of 
Jesus  Christ,  as  narrated  by  the  four  Evangelists,  with  Henry's  Exposition, 
upon  it  Dr.  Watts's  Psalms  and  Hymns  also,  and  his  Divine  Songs  for 
Children,  were  her  companions  :  and  she  said  she  never  understood  them 
so  well  as  during  her  affliction. 

When  Mr.  Hnll,  Mr.  Toller,  or  any  other  pious  friends  visited  her,  for 
conversation  and  prayer,  though  through  her  timidity  and  natural  reserve 
she  could  say  but  verv  little,  vet  she  was  evidently  very  grateful  for  their 
kind  attention  to  her  best  interests. 

Many  interesting  expressions  might  hav^  been  preserved,  if  her  mother's 
grief  and  fatigue  had  not  prevented.  One  evening  her  thoughts  seemed 
to  be  directed  to  the  glory  of  the  heavenly  world  ;  and  she  particularly  re- 
ferred to  thit  passage — "  Now  we  see  through  a  glass  darkly :  but  then 
face  to  face,"  &c. 

About  three  weeks  before  her  death,  she  was  exceedingly  cast  down, 
tinder  an  apprehension  that  her  concern  might  be  merely  the  effect  of 
education,  and  arise  rather  from  the  fear  of  future  punishment  than  from 


MR.    FULLER.  298 

The  loss  of  his  nephew,  Joseph  Fuller,  was  a  trial  which  few 
would  have  endured  with  such  ready  submission  to  the  Divine 
will.  He  had  room  to  indulge  the  highest  expectations  of  his 
usefulness  in  the  Cristian  ministry  ;  and  probably  was  not  with- 

love  to  Cod  :  but  this  cloud  was  soon   dispelled,  and  light  brake  in  upon 
her  mind. 

Though  doubtless,  she  felt  the  natural  love  of  life,  yet  she  was  never 
heard  to  express  the  smallest  degree  of  impatience  under  her  long  and 
trying  affliction  ;  and  her  mind  became  more  calm  and  composed,  as  her 
prospects  of  being  restored  to  her  friends  declined.  The  only  concern  she 
manifested  in  this  particular,  was  in  the  idea  of  leaving  her  mother,  to 
whom  after  her  father's  death,  she  was  especially  endeared  by  her  tender 
and  dutiful  attentions^  and  who  she  knew,  would  deeply  feel  the  loss  of  her 
society.  She  one  time  said  to  her — "  I  am  quite  happy,  and  have  little 
wish  to  live  but  on  your  account/*  Seeing  her  mother  greatly  distressed, 
she  in  the  tenderest  manner,  endeavoured  to  reconcile  her  to  the  loss  of 
her,  by  saying,  "  Dear  mother,  do  not  lay  your  account  with  pining  after 
me,  when  I  am  gone  t  you  have  other  children  who  will  need  your  care, 
and  you  don't  know  what  trouble  you  might  have  on  my  accouut  iff  were 
to  live  "  Being  asked  if  she  did  not  feel  happy  in  the  thought  of  meeting 
her  dear  departed  friends  in  glory,  she  replied — "  1  do  not  think  of  that  so 
much  as  of  seeing  God,  and  praising  him.*'  A  few  days  before  she  died, 
she  requested  her  sister  to  pray  for  her  speedy  release.  The  next  day, 
she  said  to  her  mother — "  1  think  T  am  going  .  .  I  feel  so  calm  and  com- 
fortable." A  short  time  before,  she  said  she  had  no  desire  to  live  longer  : 
unless  it  might  be  for  the  glory  of  God,  and  that  she  might  serve  him.  To 
a  friend  who  was  speaking  of  his  trials  being  so  great,  that  were  it  not  for 
his  family,  he  could  be  glad  to  leave  the  world,  she  said, — "Take  care  of 
your  motives,  whether  they  are  to  glorify  God,  or  merely  to  get  rid  of 
trouble." — In  short,  the  thoughts  of  serving  and  glory fy  ing  God,  whether  in 
this  world  or  another,  seemed  to  take  place  of  all  other  considerations. 
She  did  not  however,  attach  any  merit  to  the  best  of  services  ;  and  her 
reliance  for  salvation  was  solely  on  the  atonement  of  the  Redeemer.  She 
said,  he  was  all  her  hope,  and  all  her  desire. 

When  her  younger  brothers  visited  her,  a  few  weeks  previous  to  her 
death,  her  earnestness  with  them  was  very  affecting.  On  the  morning  of 
the  day  on  which  she  died,  she  expressed  an  anxious  desire  of  speaking  to 
all  the  young  people  of  her  acquaintance  (mentioning  several  by  name,) 
in  order  if  possible,  to  convey  to  them  the  strong  impression  of  the  weight 
of  eternal  things,  which  filled  her  own  mind,  in  the  near  prospect  of  eter- 
nity ;  and  said  if  she  had  a  wish  to  live,  it  was  that  she  might  see  them 
come  forward  and  declare  themselves  on  the  side  of  Christ  Being  asked 
if  she  was  happy,  she  replied — "  Quite  so  :  but  1  feel  no  raptures  :  and 
if  my  dear/aMer  did  not,  how  can  7  expect  it" 

At  her  request,  Mr.  Hall  was  sent  for,  to  whom  she  spoke  with  mucE 
earnestness,  lamenting  to  how  little  purpose  she  had  lived,  and  desiring: 


294  MEMOIRS    OF 

out  an  expectation,  that  he  would  either  become  an  useful  Mis- 
sionary, or  else,  "  as  a  son  with  the  father,  so  would  he  have 
served  with  him  in  the  gospel."  On  account  of  his  youth,  I. 
kept  him  back  from  public  exercises,  during  the  time  that  he 
was  studying  at  Bristol ;  accounting  a  premature  popularity 
one  of  the  most  dangerous  trials  to  which  a  young  man  could 
be  exposed.  But  I  should  have  expected  any  congregation, 
whose  approbation  was  worth  having,  to  have  been  charmed 
with  the  first  discourse  he  delivered  in  the  lecture  room  of  the 
Baptist  Academy,  on  John  xii.  27.  I  was  obliged  to  suppress 
my  feelings,  and  hurry  out  of  the  room,  that  I  might  not  let  a 
lad  of  sixteen  see  how  much  I  was  delighted  with  what  he  had 
been  uttering. 

I  received  the  mournful  tidings  of  his  death,  in  a  letter,  dated 
March  26,  1812,  which  I  shall  now  transcribe: 

«  My  dear  Brother, 

"  I  have  just  received  yours,  and  by  the  same  post,  one  from 
Little  Bentley,  dated  the  23d,  of  which  the  following  is  an  ex- 
tract : — c  This  morning,  about  a  quarter  after  seven  o'clock, 
our  dear  Joseph  left  this  world  of  sin  and  sorrow,  and  we  trust 

him,  if  he  thought  proper,  to  improve  her  death  in  a  sermon  to  young 
people  :  entreating  him  to  be  ve*y  particular  in  warning  them  not  to  put  off 
the  concerns  of  religion  :  and  especially  the  children  of  the  Sabbath -school  ; 
expressing  her  regret  that  she  had  so  much  neglected  speaking  to  them  on 
that  important  subject,  and  her  intention  if  she  had  been  spared,  to  have 
attended  more  to  her  duty  in  this  respect. 

This  washer  last  effort:  as  she  scarcely  spoke  a  sentence  afterwards :  but 
lay  with  great  composure  and  serenity  of  aspect,  waiting  for  her  change, 
•which  took  place  between  four  and  five  o'clock  in  the  afternoon  of  June  11, 
1816  Her  age  was  nineteen  years  and  two  months. 

She  was  interred  on  Sabbath  evening,  June  16  :  when  an  impressive 
discourse  was  addressed  to  a  crowded  audience,  by  Mr  Hall»  from  Psalm 
cii  23,  24—"  He  weakened  my  strength  in  the  way  :  he  shortened  my 
days  :  I  said,  O  my  God,  take  me  not  away  in  the  midst  of  my  days  ;  thy 
years  ate  throughout  all  generations."  The  548th  Hymn  in  Dr.  Rippon's 
Selection,  the  39th  Psalm,  (second  part,)  and  the  102d  Psalm,  (second 
part,)  were  sung  ^ 

About  a  fortnight  after  her  decease,  Mr.  Hall  addressed  an  exhortation 
to  the  children  of  the  school,  on  the  occasion. 


I 

MB.    FULLER.  295 

•a 

is  entered  into  rest.  He  could  not  talk  much ;  but  said,  That 
gospel  which  I  have  recommended  toothers,  is  all  my  support 
in  the  prospect  of  death.  He  was  sensible  to  the  last/  Thus 
God  has  blasted  our  hopes  concerning  this  lovely  youth.  He 
was  eighteen  years  old,  last  October. 

"  Now  it  is  fresh  upon  my  mind,  I  will  give  you  a  few  particu- 
lars of  such  things  concerning  him,  as  fell  under  my  notice  ; — 

"  In  July,  1806,  I  took  Mrs.  Fuller  to  Bentley,  on  a  visit  to 
my  brother  and  his  family.  Joseph  was  then  under  thirteen 
years  old.  We  observed  in  him  a  talent  for  learning  ;  and  his 
parents  seemed  to  think  him  not  much  suited  to  their  business. 
Mrs.  F.  therefore  proposed,  that  he  should  come  and  live  with 
us,  and  improve  his  learning.  The  ibifowihg  October  he  came, 
and  we  sent  him  to  school,  to  our  friend  Mr.  M.ison,  of  Rowell. 
After  being  there  three  months,  he  spent  the  winter  holidays  at 
our  house.  One  day  he  was  looking  over  the  Greek  alphabet, 
and  soon  got  it  by  heart.  He  obtained  a  few  instructions 
before  the  holidays  were  ended  ;  and  oa  his  returning  to  school) 
I  spoke  to  my  worthy  friend,  the  Rev.  Mr.  Brotherhood,  of 
Desborough,  near  Rowell,  requesting  the  favour  of  his  teaching 
him  the  Latin  and  Greek  languages.  With  this  requesi  Mr. 
B.  not  only  readily  complied,  but  generously  declined  any  le- 
compense  for  his  trouble.  On  an  evening,  after  the  school-hours 
at  Rowell,  Joseph  would  walk  over  to  Desborough,  and  spend 
an  hour  or  two  with  Mr.  B.  who,  with  Mrs.  B.  treated  him 
as  a  young  friend,  rather  than  as  a  pupil.  His  diligence,  so- 
briety, and  good  sense,  raised  him  in  their  esteem  ;  and  he  had 
a  great  respect  and  esteem  for  them.  In  this  course  he  contin- 
ued through  the  year  1 807,  and  1 808.  He  could  talk  of  religion, 
and  I  believe  from*his  childhood,  had  thoughts  of  the  ministry  ; 
but  as  I  saw  no  signs  of  real  personal  Christianity,  I  never  en- 
couraged any  thing  of  the  kind.  In  the  autumn,  I  think  of 
1808,  we  perceived  an  evident  change  in  his  spirit  and  beha- 
viour. This  was  observed  not  only  at  Kettering,  but  at  Rowell. 
I  found  too,  that  he  wished  to  open  his  mind  to  me ;  and  I  soon 
gave  him  an  opportunity.  The  result  was,  we  were  satisfied  of 
his  being  the  subject  of  repentance  towards  God  and  faith  to- 
wards our  Lord  Jesus  Christ.  On  April  30,  1809,  I  baptized 


296  MEMOIRS    OF 

him,  and  he  became  a  member  of  the  church  at  Kettering. 
Under  these  circumstances,  I  could  not  but  think  of  his  being 
employed  in  the  work  of  the  ministry,  provided  his  own  heart 
was  in  it.  On  gently  sounding  him  upon  it,  I  found  it  was.  He 
was  too  much  of  a  child  to  be  asked  to  speak  before  the  church  ; 
and  yet  we  thought  no  time  should  be  lost  in  improving  his 
talents  A  letter  was  therefore  sent  to  the  Bristol  Education 
Society,  through  your  hands,  recommending  him  as  a  pious 
youth,  of  promising  talents  for  the  ministry.  In  August  the 
same  year,  he  went  to  Bristol.  At  the  vacation,  in  the  summer 
of  1810,  he  went  home,  and  on  his  return,  towards  the  end  of 
July,  came  by  Kettering.  At  the  church  meeting,  he  preached 
from  1  Cor.  ii.  2.  c  For  I  determined  not  to  know  any  thing 
among  you,  save  Jesus  Christ,  and  him  crucified.'  He  was  then 
under  seventeen  years  of  age,  and  a  mere  lad  in  appearance,  but 
his  thoughts  were  just  and  mature. 

"  From  the  first  of  his  religious  impressions,  he  expressed  a 
desire  to  go  to  India  as  a  Missionary,  if  he  were  thought  a  suit- 
able person.  I  did  not  discourage  him,  but  told  him  he  was 
too  young  at  present,  to  determine  on  a  matter  of  such  import- 
ance. On  the  above  visit  to  us,  in  July,  1810,  I  inquired, 
whether  his  mind  continued  the  same  on  that  subject.  He  an- 
swered it  did. 

"  His  journey  from  Kettering  to  Bristol,  which  (being  very 
fond  of  walking,)  he  principally  performed  on  foot,  was  I  fear, 
injurious  to  him.  He  got  wet,  as  I  afterwards  learned,  several 
times  on  the  road.  Towards  the  following  Christmas,  he  told 
me,  he  began  to  feel  the  complaint  on  his  lungs.  It  is  now 
nearly  a  year,  I  suppose  since  he  left  Bristol,  to  go  to  his  father's 
house.  After  he  had  been  there  the  greater  part  of  the  summer 
of  1 8 1 1 ,  he  paid  a  visit  for  a  month  or  two,  to  the  new  Academy 
at  Stepney,  where  he  was  treated  with  great  kindness  by  Mr. 
and  Mrs.  Newman,  as  he  had  been,  in  the  spring  of  the  same 
year,  by  Mr.  and  Mrs.  Burls.  Indeed,  I  may  say,  at  every  place, 
he  '  grew  in  favour  with  God  and  man.' 

"  Being  myself  in  London  early  in  November,  I  took  him 
with  me  down  to  Kettering.  Here  he  stopped  about  six  weeks ; 
during  which,  we  used  means  for  the  recovery  of  his  health* 


MR.    FULLER.  297 

but  without  effect.  So  far  as  his  affliction  would  permit,  he 
here  enjoyed  the  company  of  his  friends.  He  got  over  to 
Rowell,  and  to  Desborough,  to  see  his  dear  friends  Mr.  Mason 
and  Mr.  Brotherhood.  About  Dec.  20,  1811,  I  took  him  to 
Cambridge,  whence  he  was  conducted  home.  On  parting,  we 
both  wept,  as  not  expecting  to  see  each  other  again  in  the  flesh. 
So  it  has  proved.  His  father  informs  me,  that  on  the  last 
Lord's  day  in  January,  he  was  very  desirous  of  going  with  him 
to  Thorpe,  to  join  in  the  Lord's  supper;  which,  though  with 
much  difficulty,  he  accomplished.  His  death  is  one  of  those 
mysteries  in  providence,  not  of  very  unfrequent  occurrence, 
wherein  God,  after  apparently  forming  and  fitting  an  instrument 
for  usefulness  in  this  world,  removes  it  to  another.  But  '  it  is 
well.'  I  do  not  remember  to  have  known  a  lad  of  his  years, 
who  possessed  more  command  of  temper,  or  maturity  of  judg- 
nrtent,  or  whose  mind  seemed  more  habitually  directed  to  the 
glory  of  God." 

My  own  ideas  of  this  young  man  fully  coincide  with  those  of 
his  uncle  ;  but  I  shall  only  add  two  or  three  letters  written  to 
him,  by  Mr.  Fuller. 

The  first  was  addressed  to  him,  while  he  was  at  Bristol ;  and 
dated, 

"Nov.  7,  1810. 

"  ....  I  am  glad  to  hear  you  are  happy  in  your  situation. 
As  to  the  complaints  of  the  state  of  your  mind,  I  would  not, 
by  any  means,  reconcile  you  to  a  state  of  mind  short  of  spirit- 
uality ;  and  I  am  aware  that  the  pursuits  of  literature,  however 
desirable,  may  be  unfriendly  to  growth  in  grace.  The  great 
point  is,  to  keep  the  glory  of  God  in  view,  learning  that  you 
may  be  the  better  able  to  serve  him  in  your  generation.  And,  while 
a  sense  of  your  own  unfruitfulness  and  carnality,  (which  I  dare 
say,  is  much  greater  than  you  are  aware  of,  keeps  you  low,  it  is 
necessary  to  look  out  of  yourself  for  renewed  strength.  *  I 
will  go  (that  must  be  your  language — )  in  the  strength  of  the 
Lord  God,  making  mention  of  his  righteousness,  and  of  his 
only.'  In  his  strength  you  may  be  a  blessing;  but  if  you  go 
forth  in  your  own,  all  will  come  to  nothing." 
38 


29  8  MEMOIKS    OF 

«  Kettering,  May  11,1811, 
"  My  dear  Joseph, 

"  It  concerns  me  to  hear,  that  you  are  not  materially  better. 
Possibly,  if  the  weather  were  different,  it  might  be  in  your  fa- 
vour :  but  all  is  of  God,  and  he  will  do  that  for  us  which  is  best.  I 
have  been  very  ill,  for  some  time,  myself;  but  the  soft  southern 
breezes  of  to-day  have  a  little  revived  me.  Cleave  to  the  Lord, 
my  clear,  and  your  heart  will  live.  If  it  please  God  to  restore 
your  health,  this  school  of  affliction  may  be  as  necessary 
for  you  as  that  in  which  you  learn  Hebrew  and  Greek ;  and,  it 
may  be,  more  so.  It  is  good  to  bear  this  yoke  in  youth.  Lam. 
iii.  27.  30.  The  mind,  in  youth,  is  in  danger  of  being  carried 
away  with  vain  company  ;  but  early  afflictions,  sanctified,  cause 
us  to  sit  alone  and  think  :  it  is  in  danger  of  being  lifted  up  with 
high-mindedness  ;  but  this  humbles,  and  so  prepares  it  to  re- 
ceive the  divine  mercy  :  and  it  is  in  danger  of  being  impatient 
of  controul  under  the  ills  and  injuries  of  life ;  but  this  inures  us 
to  bear  whatever  God  sends. 

«  There  is  a  number  of  words  used  by  the  Psalmist,  in  the 
first  seven  verses  of  the  37th  Psalm,  which  are  worthy  of 
attention. —  Trust  in  the  Lord;  delight  thyself  in  the  Lord; 
commit  thy  way  unto  the  Lord  ;  rest  in  the  Lord ;  and  wait 
patiently,  Sec. 

"  By  the  time  you  get  home,  I  may,  if  well  enough,  be  going 
my  northern  journey.  I  shall  be  happy  to  hear  of  your  being 
better,  on  my  return.  Mercy  and  truth  be  with  you  !" 

"Newmarket,  June  11,  1811. 
«  Dear  Joseph, 

"  Your  affliction,  as  well  as  mine,  seems  to  hang  long  upon 
you.  I  think  you  should  abstain  from  preaching,  at  present. 
Dr.  R.  has  been  very  anxious  to  know  how  you  were.  You 
should  write  to  him,  before  the  end  of  July,  to  say  whether  you 
will  be  able  to  return  to  the  Academy,  or  not  I  expect  he  will 
return  from  Scotland  by  the  14th  of  July.  I  have  been  better, 
last  week  and  this,  than  for  some  time  past,  not  having  once, 
during  that  time,  lost  any  rest,  through  fever.  Last  night,  how- 
ever, I  had  pretty  much  fever,  though  it  did  not  deprive  me  of 
my  sleep.  I  have  not  yet  preached. 


MR.   FULLER.  299 

"  I  think,  should  I  again  be  restored  to  the  work,  it  will  be 
of  divine  favour.  I  see  something  of  the  force  of  the  Apos- 
tle's words  :  '  Unto  me,  who  am  less  than  the  least  of  all  saints, 
is  this  grace  given,  that  I  should  preach  among  the  Gentiles 
the  unsearchable  riches  of  Christ.'  When  David's  army  had 
obtained  a  victory,  men  were  eager  to  run  and  carry  the  tidings. 
The  victory  obtained  by  Christ  is  not  only  of  greater  account, 
but  is  unalloyed  with  what  accompanied  that  victory,  and 
turned  the  joy  of  the  day  into  mourning. 

"  Should  the  Lord  restore  either  me  or  you,  and  employ  us 

in  that  work,  it  will   be  no  smaiy  favour,  and  will  involve  no 

small  portion  of  responsibility.     May  we  each  have  grace  given 

us  to  fight  the   good   fight,  and  to  finish  our  course  with  joy. 

«I  am 

"  Affectionately  yours, 

«  A.  F." 

• 

The  concern  of  Mr.  Fuller  for  the  spiritual  welfare  of  all 
with  whom  he  was  connected,  will*  appear  farther  from  the 
following  letters. 

TO    TWO    RELATIVES. 

«  Kettering,  Aug.  1784. 
«  My  dear  — — ~, 

«  The  unexpected  death  of has  much  affected  me 

It  is  an  awful  thing,  to  be  summoned  to  appear  before  God  be- 
fore we  are  ready.  I  have  frequently  many  fears,  lest  this 
should  be  the  case  with  myself  and  my  dear  relatives.  I  often 
long  to  know  how  your  minds  are  affected  about  that  great 
event,  and  whether  you  have  indeed  been  brought,  with  lamea- 
tation  and  bitter  weeping,  to  the  Saviour's  feet.  O  my  dear 

. !   great  sinners  as  we  have  been,  there  is  mercy  and 

merit  sufficient  to  save  us.  The  Lord  Jesus  still  says,  «  Him 
that  cometh  to  me,  I  will  in  nowise  cast  out.'  And  is  he  not 
worth  coming  to  ?  Is  not  his  mercy  worth  asking  for  ?  Surely 
it  will  appear  so,  when  we  come  to  die,  or  when  we  stand  b  -'- 
fore  God,  in  the  day  of  judgment ! 


300  MEMOIRS    OF 

"  I  once  thought,  that  it  would  be  a  sin  for  me  to  pray,  be- 
cause  it  is  said,  *  The  prayer  of  the  wicked  is  an  abomination  to 
the  Lord :'  and  I  believe,  many,  on  that  account,  avoid  all  prayer. 
But  I  have  since  seen,  that,  if  the  prayer  of  a  wicked  man  is  an 
abomination,  it  is  because  the  prayer  itself  arises  from  wicked 
motives,  and  is  offered  in  a  wicked  way  ;  either  from  pride,  as 
the  Pharisee — <  God,  I  thank  thee  I  am  not  as  other  men  are  !' 
or  from  hypocrisy,  as  those  who  flattered  him  with  their  lips, 
while  their  hearts  were  far  from  him.  Let  any  one,  with  a  sin- 
cere and  humble  heart,  beg  of  God,  for  Christ's  sake,  to  cre- 
ate in  him  a  clean  heart,  and  forgive  his  sins ;  and  the  Lord 
will  not  account  this  an  abomination.  And,  if  we  find  it  diffi- 
cult to  return  to  God,  we  have  encouragement  to  pray  to  him 
to  turn  us.  When  Ephraim  prayed,  «  Turn  thou  me,'  &c.  the 
Lord  heard  him,  and  said,  he  would  surely  have  mercy  upon  him. 

"  I  used  to  think,  too,  that  the  doctrine  of  election  was  a  rea- 
son why  we  need  not  f>ray :  and  I  fear,  there  are  many  who 
split  upon  this  rock  ;  who  think  it  is  to  no  purpose  to  pray,  as 
things  will  be  as  they  wilf  be.  But  I  now  see,  that  the  doctrine 
of  election  is  the  greatest  encouragement,  instead  of  a  discour- 
agement to  prayer.  He  that  decreed  that  any  one  should  be 
finally  saved,  decreed  that  it  should  be  in  the  way  of  prayer  ; 
as  much  as  he  that  has  decreed  what  we  shall  possess  of  the 
things  of  this  life,  has  decreed  that  it  shall  be  in  the  way  of  in- 
dustry :  and,  as  we  never  think  of  being  idle  in  common  busi- 
ness, because  God  has  decreed  what  we  shall  possess  of  this 
world's  goods  ;  so,  neither  should  we  be  slothful  in  the  busi- 
ness of  our  souls,  because  our  final  state  is  decreed.  We  may 
be  sure  of  this,  for  the  Lord  hath  spoken  it — that  the  wrath  of 
God  will  be  poured  out  on  the  families  who  call  not  on  his 
name ;  while  the  door  of  mercy  will  be  opened  to  all  who 
knock  at  it. 

"  I  hope  you  will  excuse  my  freedom.  It  is,  on  some  ac- 
counts, with  reluctance  that  I  thus  write,  as  it  goes  against  me 
to  make  you  unhappy  ;  but  what  is  present  happiness,  compared 
with  the  happiness  of  a  good  hope  in  a  dying  hour  ? 

"  My  heart  longs  for  you  and  the  dear  children.  Give  my 
love  to  them,  and  tell  them  to  seek  after  the  salvation  of  their 


MR.    FULLER.  301 

souls  ;  for  they  must  soon  die,  as  well  as  we.  Let  them  not 
think,  that  to  be  religious  is  to  be  melancholy  ;  for,  surely,  to 
live  in  the  fear  of  God  is  the  happiest  life  in  the  world  ;  and  to 
die  in  his  favour,  how  desirable  !  May  this  be  the  case  with 
us  all !  I  long  that  none  of  the  family  may  be  left  behind. 

"  I  am  yours, 
"  Bound  by  every  tie  of  duty,  gratitude,  and  affection, 

"  A.  FULLER." 

TO    HIS    DAUGHTER,   MARY    FULLER,   WHILE    AT    SCHOOL,     AT 
NORTHAMPTON. 

" If,  my  dear,  you  do  really  enjoy  the  presence  of 

God,  and  so  see  the  greatness  of  your  sin  as  to  abhor  it,  and 
yourself,  on  account  of  it ;  that  is,  certainly,  an  evidence  that 
God  has  chosen  you  out  of  the  world.  If  there  be  any  doubt 
in  the  matter,  it  is,  whether  those  feelings  which  you  enjoy  be 
excited  by  the  Lord's  presence,  and  whether  the  sense  you  have 
of  the  greatness  of  your  sin  does  lead  you  to  bewail  and  hate  it. 
I  do  not  mean  to  discourage  you,  or  to  suggest  as  if  I  thought 
otherwise ;  but  it  may  be  well  for  you  to  suspect  your  own  heart, 
•which  is  deceitful.  I  may  add,  that  if  you  think  you  «  see  your- 
self a  great  sinner,'  it  may  be,  in  part,  because  you,  at  pres- 
ent, know  but  little  of  yourself.  You  are  a  much  greater  sin- 
ner, my  dear,  than  you  are  aware  of ;  and  an  interest  in  the 
dying  love  of  Christ  is  of  far  greater  importance  than  you  have 
ever  yet  conceived.  But  let  not  this  discourage  you.  Though 
your  sins  be  as  scarlet,  yet  the  blood  of  Christ  is  sufficient  to 
make  you  pure  as  snow.  The  blood  of  Jesus  Christ  cleanseth 
from  all  sin.  Believe  his  gospel,  commit  your  soul  to  him  as 
a  perishing  sinner,  and  you  will  be  everlastingly  saved.  See 
Isa.  i.  18.  1  Johni.  7.  2  Tim.  i.  12.  Follow  on  to  know  the 
Lord,  and  you  shall  know  him.  Call  upon  him,  in  the  name 
of  Christ ;  that  is,  pray  him  to  pardon  and  accept  of  you,  and 
grant  all  your  petitions,  not  for  your  worthiness*  sake,  (for  you 
are  utterly  unworthy,)  but  for  the  worthiness'  sake  of  his  dear 
Son,  who  died  for  sinners." 


302  MEMOIRS    OF 

TO    THE    SAME. 

" And  is  it  so,  my  dear  Mary,  that  your  desire  is 

to  the  Lord,  and  to  the  remembrance  of  his  name  ?  Are  you 
convinced  of  your  having  done  deeds  worthy  of  death,  eternal 
death  ;  and  that  all  your  hope  and  help  is  in  the  Lord  Jesus 
Christ  ?  Is  he  precious  to  your  soul  ?  And  are  you  willing  to 
give  up  all  your  sins,  and  to  be  his  servant  for  ever  ?  If  so,  I 
know  of  nothing  that  ought  to  hinder  your  being  baptized  in 
his  name.  To  see  you  thus  put  on  the  Lord  Jesus  Christ,  will 
afford  the  greatest  pleasure  to  us,  though  it  may  be  a  pleasure 
mixed  with  trembling.  You  are,  at  present,  my  dear,  but  little 
acquainted  with  the  snares  and  temptations  of  the  world,  with 
the  fickleness  and  sinfulness  of  your  own  heart,  and  with  the 
difficulty,  on  these  accounts,  of  persevering  in  the  good  ways 
of  the  Lord  ;  preserving  a  conscience  void  of  offence  towards 
God  and  towards  man  :  but,  if  God  has  begun  the  good  work 
in  you,  it  will  be  carried  on.  There  is  strength  to  be  had  from 
above  ;  and  we  are  encouraged  to  ask  it  of  him." 

TO    AN    ELDER    RELATIVE. 

"  Kettering,  Jan.  1801- 

«  My  dear  , 

"  My  mind  has  been,  of  late,  much  exercised  with  a  tender 
concern  for  my  relatives.  When  I  review  the  providence  of  God 
towards  our  family,  I  see  much  cause  for  thankfulness.  You  had 
a  pious  mother  ;  but  she  was  taken  away  when  you  were  young ; 
and  thus  you  were  turned  into  the  wide  world,  to  provide  for 
yourselves.  Yet  God  was  merciful  to  you  ;  and  you  have  all 
been  provided  for,  and  several  of  you,  amply  so.  But,  my 

dear  . ,  I  am  concerned,  that  we  may  be  provided  with  an 

inheritance  when  we  take  our  leave  of  the  present  world.  I 
hope  God  has  taught  me  the  way  to  everlasting  life,  and  I  long 
for  my  relations  to  go  with  me.  You  know,  when  I  am  in 

.,  my  time  is  so  taken  up,  that  I  have   scarcely  any 

leisure  to  call  on  my  relations,  or  converse  with  them  :  there- 
fore it  is  that  I  now  avail  myself  of  an  hour's  leisure,  to  con- 
Terse  with  you  by  h  ter. 


MR.    FULLER.  303 

**  From  my  earliest  years,  I  have  felt  great  affection  towards 
you.  Your  amiable  temper  and  familiar  behaviour  won  upon 
my  esteem  ;  and  that  esteem  now  operates  in  a  way  of  desire 
for  your  everlasting  salvation.  You  are  aware,  that  you  must 
soon  go  the  way  of  all  the  earth.  How  is  it  with  you,  my 

dear ,  as  to  the  ground  of  your  hope  for  another  life  ? 

You  have  been  preserved  from  most  of  those  evils  which  dis- 
grace humanity  ;  but  you  know  you  are  a  sinner,  and  stand  in 
need  of  a  Saviour.  Though  a  religious  life  will  be  a  sober  one, 
yet  you  know,  mere  sobriety  is  not  religion.  We  are  all  sinners 
against  a  holy  God,  and  have  incurred  his  high  displeasure- 
It  is  of  the  last  importance,  that  we  know  and  feel  this  truth  ; 
otherwise,  our  hearts  will  be  whole  ;  and  if  we  be  whole  in  out 
own  eyes,  we  shall  not  conceive  that  we  need  a  physician.  In 
this  case,  we  shall  either  live  without  calling  on  the  name  of  the 
Lord,  and  so  be  heathens,  in  fact,  under  a  Christian  name  ;  or, 
if  we  pray  in  form,  it  will  be  only  as  form.  I  remember  your 
giving  us  Mason  on  Self- Knowledge  ;  and  there  are  many  ex- 
cellent things  in  it,  suited  to  young  people.  Without  knowing 
ourselves  as  men,  we  shall  be  ignorant,  conceited,  and  unfit  for 
society  ;  but  the  main  matter  is  to  know  ourselves  as  sinners  : 
without  this,  whatever  decency  of  character  we  may  maintain, 
we  shall  be  mere  Pharisees  in  the  sight  of  God.  When  I  con- 
sider, that  all  our  righteousnesses  are  filthy  rags,  and  will  not 
cover  us  at  the  last  day ;  that  our  very  prayers  and  tears  are,  at 
best,  mixed  with  sin  ;  and,  if  not  offered  in  the  name  of  Jesus, 
or  with  an  eye  to  his  mediation,  are  sirf  itself;  I  flee  to  Jesus, 
the  hope  set  before  me  in  the  gospel ;  I  implore,  as  a  guilty, 
miserable  sinner,  to  be  accepted  and  pardoned,  wholly  for  his 
sake.  To  this  refuge  my  dear  relations  also  are  welcome  to  flee. 

I  long  to  see  you,  and ,  and  all  the  dear  children,  safely 

arrived,  as  in  an  ark,  before  the  deluge  of  wrath  comes. 

"  If  you  could  spare  time  to  give  me  a  few  lines,  assuring  me 
that  you  take  this  in  good  part ;  and  could  you  freely  commu* 
nicate  the  state  of  your  mind  with  respect  to  an  hereafter,  you 
would  afford  me  much  pleasure  :  or,  if  you  had  rather  write  to 
some  others  of  the  family?  and  they  would  communicate  to  me, 


304 


MEMOIRS    OF 


though  my  hands  are  constantly  full,  yet  I  would  gladly  spare 
half  an  hour  in  answer. 

«Iam 

"  Yours  affectionately, 

«  A.  F." 

I  may  add  here  some  extracts  from  his  letters  to  the  Rev. 
Mr.  Coles,  the  present  Mrs.  Fuller's  father  ;  though  some  of 
them  appertain  rather  to  his  own  history,  than  to  his  solicitude 
for  the  welfare  of  his  relations. 

«  Dec.  30,  1799. 

After  mentioning  some  indisposition  of  body,  he  adds,  "Hith- 
erto the  Lord  hath  helped,  and  I  trust  will  continue  to  help  me, 
though  I  know  he  might  justly  turn  me  out  of  his  service,  as 
an  unprofitable  servant.  Dear  Mr.  Benjamin  Francis,  of  Hors- 
ley,  is  gone  home  ;  and  so  is  Mr.  Barnes,  of  Woodford,  (near 
Kettering,)  a  Baptist  minister,  but  little  known,  yet  an  honour- 
able, useful  character,  who  was  sent  into  the  ministry  by  our 
church,  about  1791.  He  was  not  much  above  forty  years  old." 

"July  9,  1804. 

"  I  set  off  from  Dublin,  on  Tuesday  morning,  the  5th  in- 
stant, at  half  past  five  ;  arrived  safely  at  Holyhead,  that  evening, 
and  travelled  night  and  day  ;  reached  home  on  Thursday  night, 
at  half  past  nine  in  the  evening,  in  good  health.  Thanks  to  the 
Preserver  of  men ! 

«  I  have  enjoyed  but  little  comfort  in  Ireland,  yet  I  hope  I 
have  derived  some  profit.  The  doctrine  of  the  cross  is  more 
dear  to  me  than  when  I  went.  I  wish  I  may  never  preach 
another  sermon  but  what  shall  bear  some  relation  to  it.  I  see 
and  feel,  more  and  more,  that,  except  I  eat  the  flesh  and  drink 
the  blood  of  the  Son  of  man,  I  have  no  life  in  me,  either  as  a 
Christian  or  as  a  minister.  Some  of  the  sweetest  opportunities 
I  had  on  my  journey,  were  in  preaching  Christ  crucified,  par- 
ticularly from  1  Pet.  ii.  7.  Matt.  xvii.  5.  1  John  v.  12.  John 
xvii.  21.  and  last  night,  from  John  xiii.  3 1 . 32.  But  I  feel,  that, 
if  I  were  more  spiritually  minded,  I  should  preach  better,  and 
bear  trials  better." 


MR.    FULLER.  305 

"Sept.  28,  1804. 

"  We  are  sorry,  that  at  your  time  of  life,  you  should  be  called 
to  the  painful  work  of  separating  members  from  the  church  ; 
but  while  in  the  body,  we  shall  be  compassed  with  evil. 

"  My  experience,  of  late,  has  been  somewhat  singular.  I 
think  I  have  not,  for  a  long  time,  felt  such  difficulty  in  getting 
on  in  my  work.  I  know  not  how  to  preach,  pray,  nor  do  any 
thing,  in  a  right  manner:  and  yet,  when  engaged,  have  been 
carried  through  with  more  spiritual  mindedness  than  common. 
My  heart  also  has  been  much  set,  of  late,  on  preaching,  if  I 
could,  more  on  Christ  crucified.  If,  in  all  my  gettings,  I  had 
got  more  of  that  heavenly  wisdom,  I  should  have  been  much 
richer,  in  a  spiritual  st-nse,  than  I  am. 

"  My  mind  has  been  low,  of  late,  on  account  of  the  low  estate 
of  many  of  our  churches.  Divisions,  removals  of  ministers, 
scandals,  &c.  occur  in  various  quarters." 

«  March  4,  1 805. 

" Your  afflictions  give  us  concern.  The  descrip- 
tion which  the  Wise  Man  gives  us  of  old  age,  in  Eccles.  xii.  is 
but  too  appropriate — when  *  the  clouds  return  after  the  rain/ 
In  youth  and  manhood  they  return  after  the  sunshine,  as  in  a 
day  of  March ;  but  in  old  age,  after  the  rain ;  ill  succeeding 
afresh,  on  the  back  of  ill,  so  as  to  admit  of  little  or  no  inter- 
mission) as  the  clouds  in  a  day  in  November." 

"April  27,   1805. 

«  We  are  much  concerned  to  hear  of  your  afflictions  and 
troubles.  We  are  apt  to  promise  ourselves,  that  our  sun  shall 
set  serene  :  so  it  appeared  to  your  friends,  as  well  as  to  you,  but 
a  year  or  two  past ;  but  your  sky  is  again  clouded.  Well  ;  the 
clouds  will  soon  blow  over  ;  and  with  eternal  life  before  us,  we 
have  no  cause  for  despondency. 

« , — Whatever  we  possess,  God  may  cover  it  with  some  cloud 
or  other,  that  may  prevent  our  enjoying  the  possession  of  it. 
Spiritual  blessings  are  a  certain  good ;  but  every  thing  else  is 
uncertain." 

«  Sept.  29,   1805. 

"  We  received  Mrs.  Coles's  kind  epistle  of  the   1 1th.     The 
afflictions  that  attend  you  excite  our  sympathy ;  but  you  know 
39 


•i06  MEMOIRS    OF 

who  only  can  help  and  support  yon.  It  has  sometimes  struck 
me,  that  old  age.  though  to  nature  a  time  of  decay,  yet  to  faith 
and  hope  is  the  prime  of  life.  It  is  said  of  the  Christian,  4  he 
shall  brins  forth  fruit  in  old  age  ;'  and  to  me,  the  fruits  of  grace, 
in  that  period,  appear  the  richest  and  the  best.  Methinks  Paul 
describes  a  cluster  of  them  in  Rom,  v. — '  Tribulation  worketh 
patience ;  patience,  experience  ;  and  experience,  hope ;  and 
hope'  lays  hold  of  eternal  life,  and  so  «  maketh  not  ashamed.' 
May  we,  and  our  clear  parents,  abound  in  these  graces  to  the 
end.  Then  shall  we  finish  our  course  with  joy. 

"  Through  the  goodness  of  God,  I  had  as  happy  a  journey 
into  the  North  as  ever  I  had.  My  journey  was  not  less,  I  be- 
lieve, than  thirteen  hundred  miles  ;  in  which  I  collected,  I  be- 
lieve, as  many  pounds  ;  preached  about  fifty  times  in  eight 
weeks  ;  saw  much  of  the  work  of  God,  I  trust,  going  on  ;  and 
never  enjoyed  my  health  better.  I  must  go  another  tour,  next 
week,  of  nearly  six  hundred  miles,  to  Plymouth  ;  but  hope  to 
be  out  only  two  Lord's  days.  We  met  first  in  our  new  place 
of  worship,  last  Lord's  day,  when  it  was  well  filled.  To-day, 
we  commemorated  the  Lord's  death.  I  baptized  three  persons, 
last  Thursday,  in  our  new  baptistery.  Next  Tuesday,  we  have 
our  Ministers'  Meeting,  when  Mr.  Hall,  of  Cambridge,  is 
expected  to  be  one  of  the  preachers." 

"Nov.  24,  1807. 

« You  will  smile,  perhaps,  when   I  tell  you,  that  I 

begin  to  feel  the  years  draw  nigh  in  which  I  shall  cease  to  have 
pleasure  in  them.  I  mean,  you  will  hardly  allow  me  yet  to 
think  of  being  an  old  man.  Well ;  I  do  not  find  my  mental 
powers  decay  at  present ;  and  as  to  my  body,  I  feel  as  well, 
when  engaged  in  travelling,  as  at  any  time  ;  but  I  can  perceive, 
that,  in  a  little  time,  if  I  have  not  spiritual  enjoyment,  I  shall 
have  but  little.  I  was  thinking,  lately,  of  Psa.  xcii.  14.—- 
*  They  shall  bring  forth  fruit  in  old  age.'  And  I  thought  I 
found  a  cluster  of  such  fruits  in  Rom.  v.  3 — 5. 

"  Old  age,  thought  I,  is  a  time  in  which  tribulations  com- 
monly bear  down  the  spirit;  and,  if  unsanctified,  they  work 
fieevishness  ;  but,  if  sanctified,  fiatience.  I  have  known  many 
a  good  old  Christian,  whose  heart  was  softened  and  mellowed  by 


MR.    FULLER.  30T 

them.  His  firmness  became  tempered  with  gentleness,  and  his 
zeal  with  tenderness  and  prudence.  When  a  youth,  it  may  be 
he  was  full  of  fire,  and  would  hardly  be  persuaded  to  put  up 
with  an  injury  ;  but  now  he  will  give  up  every  thing,  but  truth 
and  a  good  conscience,  for  the  sake  of  peace. 

"  Old  age,  thought  I,  farther,  is  a  time  in  which  experience 
becomes  mature.  Observation  and  reflection  are  now  ripened 
into  decision.  This,  if  unsanctified,  works  obstinacy  ;  but,  if 
sanctified, «  the  meekness  of  wisdom.1  The  aged  Christian  has 
had  large  experience  of  his  own  ignorance,  weakness,  and  de- 
pravity ;  and  this  renders  him  humble  and  forbearing. 

"  Old  age  is  a  time  in  which  heaven  draws  near,  and  hope 
goes  forth  to  meet  it.  Old  age,  if  unsanctified,  commonly  in- 
creases in  covetousness.  Strange  as  it  may  seem,  when  men 
are  about  to  leave  the  world,  they  cling  the  fastest  to  it.  The 
c  lust  of  the  flesh'  has  nearly  spent  its  force,  the  '  pride  of  life* 
has  lost  its  charms  ;  depravity,  therefore,  has  only  one  channel 
left — <  the  lust  of  the  eye  ;'  and  this  commonly  flows  deeper 
and  stronger.  But,  sanctified  by  the  grace  of  God,  we  shall 
look  higher,  and  seek  after  a  better  portion.  How  charming  is 
it  to  see  the  mind  soar,  while  the  body  bows,  and  to  hear  the 
venerable  saint  uttering,  with  broken  but  affecting  accents, 
the  words  of  the  Apostle — -4  I  am  now  ready  to  be  offered, 
and  the  time  of  my  departure  is  at  hand.  I  have  fought  the 
good  fight,  I  have  finished  my  course,  I  have  kept  the  faith,' 
&c.  or  of  the  dying  Patriarch — •  I  have  waited  for  thy  sal- 
vation,  O  Lord.'  Such  hope  *  maketh  not  ashamed;'  for, 
having  received  the  earnest,  in  the  shedding  abroad  of  God's 
love  in  the  heart,  we  shall  receive  the  inheritance  j  and 
so  shall  not  be  ashamed  nor  confounded  before  him,  at  his 
coming.  Excuse  the  freedom  of  my  seeming  to  sermonize. 
Grace  and  peace  be  with  you." 

At  another  time,  he  wrote  thus  to  Mr.  Coles  : — «  We  are 
happy  to  learn,  that,  under  all  your  complicated  afflictions,  your 
mind  is  calm.  Of  what  unspeakable  value  is  the  doctrine  of 
the  cross,  in  the  prospect  of  death.  He  that  believeth  on  Jesus 
shall  never  see  death ;  for  to  him  death  is  no  more  death,  but  the 
harbinger  of  eternal  life, 


308  MEMOIRS    OF 

"  In  journeying  I  have  enjoyed  much  pleasure  and  calm- 
ness of  mind  in  the  work.  Sometimes  preaching  has  been 
pleasant,  and  sometimes  private  prayer,  in  which  my  dear  fam- 
ily and  Christian  friends,  have  been  always  remembered. 
Hitherto  I  have  been  mercifully  preserved,  in  all  respects. 
My  mind  is  calm  and  happy,  and  my  approaches  to  a  throne  of 
grace,  at  which  I  do  not  forget  you  all,  have  been  free  and 
tender." 

In  May,  1 809,  on  receiving  the  painful  intelligence  of  the 
death  of  Mr.  Coles,  he  wrote  thus,  to  his  afflicted  widow  : — 

"  Nottingham,  May  24,  1 809. 
"  Dear  Mother, 

**  I  find,  by  a  letter  I  received  last  night,  that  dear  Mr.  Coles 
has  finished  his  course  !  God  hath  done  his  work  and  will.  I 
am  aware,  though  it  is  no  more  than  might  be  expected,  that 
when  the  stroke  comes,  it  is  often  trying  to  our  frame  of  dust. 
God  brought  me  and  you,  my  dear  mother,  into  this  family, 
nearly  together ;  and  we  have  enjoyed  his  blessing  in  it,  and, 
perhaps,  as  large  a  portion  of  happiness  as  is  to  be  hoped  for 
in  earthly  connexions.  We  have  loved,  and  been  loved  of 
those  connected  with  us  ;  yea,  we  have  all  loved  one  another  to 
this  day ;  and  I  trust,  shall  do  so  to  the  end.  You  have  the 
comfort  of  Christian  hope,  both  for  the  deceased  and  for  your- 
self; and  I  am  persuaded,  it  will  be  the  endeavour  of  your 
friends  who  survive  with  you,  to  do  every  thing  in  their 
power,  to  alleviate  your  bereaved  condition. 

"  My  dear  Mrs.  F.  and  myself,  have  always  felt  towards  you 
much  regard.  Your  kindness  and  assiduous  attention  to  our 
dear  deceased  parent,  must  needs  endear  you  to  us,  were  there 
no  other  considerations ;  but  I  trust,  our  hearts  are  united  on 
superior  principles. 

"I  hope  to  return  to  Kettering  on  Thursday,  and  be  at 
Ampthill  on  Friday.  Remember  me,  with  much  affection 
and  sympathy,  to  my  dear  Mrs.  Fuller.  It  is  painful  to  me 
not  to  set  off  immediately,  that  I  might  partake  in  your 
feelings. 

"  With  sentiments  of  tender  sympathy, 
"  I  am  affectionately  yours, 

«  A.  FULLER." 


MR.  FULLER.  309 

I  would  add  to  this  Chapter  two  or  three  letters  that  seem 
worth  preserving.  Though  he  was  immediately  related  to 
the  persons  to  whom  they  are  addressed,  yet  they  indicate  his 
sympathy  with  the  parental  feelings  of  others,  and  thus  illustrate 
his  own. 

TO    AN    OLD    FRIEND. 

"Kettering,  July  18,  1799. 
"  My  dear  Friend, 

"  I  find,  by  a  letter,  that  you  are  in  constant  expectation  of 
losing  your  son.  Since  the  time  that  you  and  I  corresponded, 
'our  circumstances,  temptations,  afflictions,  and  almost  every 
thing  else  pertaining  to  us,  have  undergone  a  change.  We  have 
each  had  a  portion  of  parental  care  ;  and  now,  having  passed 
the  meridian  of  life,  we  begin  to  taste  the  cup  of  parental 
sorrow.  We  often  talk  of  trials,  without  knowing  much  of 
what  we  say :  that  is  a  trial,  methinks,  which  lays  hold  of  us, 
and  which  we  cannot  shake  off.  If  we  say,  '  Surely  I  could 
bear  any  thing  but  this  1*  this  shall  often  be  the  ill  that  we  are 
called  to  bear ;  and  this  it  is  that  constitutes  it  a  trial.  And 
why  are  afflictions  called  trials,  but  on  account  of  their  being 
sent  to  try  what  manner  of  spirit  we  are  of  ?  It  is  in  these 
circumstances  our  graces  appear,  if  we  are  truly  gracious  ;  and 
our  corruptions,  if  we  be  under  the  dominion  of  sin ;  and  too 
often,  in  some  degree,  if  we  be  Christians.  When  I  have 
experienced  heavy  trials,  I  have  sometimes  thought  of  the  case 
of  Aaron.  He  had  two  sons,  fine  young  men,  colleagues  with 
their  father;  God  accepted  of  their  offering,  and  the  people 
shouted  for  joy :  every  thing  looked  promising  ....  .\vhen, 
alas !  in  the  midst  of  their  glory,  they  sinned ;  and  there  went 
out  a  fire  from  the  Lord,  and  devoured  them  !  Well  might  the 
afflicted  father  say  as  he  did :  And  such  things  have  befallen 
me  !  yet  he  held  his  peace.  I  say,  I  have  sometimes  thought 
of  this  case,  when  I  have  been  heavily  afflicted ;  and  have 
employed  my  mind  in  this  manner  ;  Such  things  befel  Aaron, 
the  servant  of  the  Lord,  a  much  better  man  than  I  am  :  who 
am  I,  that  I  should  be  exempted  from  the  ills  which  are  com- 


310  MEMOIRS    OF 

mon  to  men,  to  good  men,  to  the  best  of  men  ?  Such  things 
befel  Aaron  as  have  not  yet  befallen  me.  He  had  two  chil- 
dren cut  off  together;  I  have  never  yet  lost  more  than  one 
at  once.  His  were  cut  off  by  an  immediate  judgment  from 
heaven,  and  without  any  apparent  space  being  given  for  re- 
pentance: thus  have  not  mine  been.  Yet,  even  Aaron  held 
his  pc-ace  ;  and  shall  /  murmur  ?  The  just  shall  live  by  faith, 
God  is  tiling  us,  in  general,  that  all  things  work  together  for 
good,  to  them  that  love  him  ;  but  he  has  not  informed  us  how  ; 
nor  is  it  common  under  afflictions,  to  perceive  the  good  arising 
from  tt»em.  It  is  afterwards  that  they  yield  the  peaceable  fruits 
of  righteousness.  If  the  Lord  should  remove  your  son,  perhaps 
you  are  not  without  hopes  of  his  salvation;  and,  if  the  event 
should  cause  you  to  feel  more  than  you  have  yet  felt,  of  the 
perishable  nature  of  all  things  under  the  sun  ;  and  draw  your 
heart  more  towards  himself,  and  things  above,  where  Jesus  is; 
you  may  have  occasion,  in  the  end,  to  bless  God  for  it.  God 
knows  we  are  strange  creatures  ;  and  that  we  stand  in  need  of 
strange  measures,  to  restrain,  humble,  and  sanctify  us. 

«  Give  my  love  to  your  afflicted  child,  and  give  me  leave  to 
recommend  to  him,  Him  in  whom  alone  he  can  be  saved.  I 
doubt  not,  but  you  have  recommended  Christ  to  him,  as  a  Saviour 
of  the  chief  of  sinners;  yet  you  will  not  take  it  amiss,  if  I  ad- 
dress the  following  few  lines  to  him  : — 
"  My  dear  young  Friend, 

"  You  know  but  littie  of  me,  nor  I  of  you ;  but  I  love  you  for 
your  parents'  sake.  While  health  and  spirits  were  afforded 
you,  you  thought,  I  presume,  but  little  of  dying  ;  and,  perhaps 
what  you  heard  by  way  of  counsel  or  warning  from  the  pulpit, 
©r  from  other  quarters,  made  but  little  impression  upon  you. 
A  luture  world  appeared  to  you  a  sort  of  dream,  rather  than  a 
reality.  The  gratification  of  present  desire  seemed  to  be  every 
thing.  But  now  that  Being  against  whom  you  have  sinned 
hus  laid  his  hand  upon  you.  Your  present  affliction  seems  to  be 
of  the  nature  of  a  summons  :  its  language  is, 4  Prepare  to  meet 
thy  Ciod,  O  sinner !'  Perhaps  you  have  thought  but  little  of 
your  state  as  a  lost  sinner  before  him  ;  yet  you  have  had  suffi- 
cient proof,  in  your  own  experience,  of  the  degeneracy  and 


MR.    FULLER.  311 

dreadful  corruption  of  your  nature.  Have  you  learned  from  it 
this  important  lesson?  If  you  have,  while  you  bewail  it  before 
God<  with  shame  and  self-abhorrence,  you  will  embrace  the 
refuge  set  before  you  in  the  gospel.  The  name  of  Christ  will  be 
precious  to  your  heart.  God  has  given  him  to  be  the  Saviour 
of  the  lost;  and,  coming  to  him  as  worthy  of  death,  you  are 
welcome  to  the  blessing  of  eternal  life.  No  man  is  so  little  a 
sinner,  but  that  he  must  perish  for  ever  without  him  ;  and  no  man 
so  great  a  sinner,  as  that  he  need  despair  of  mercy  in  him. 
He  has  died  the  just  for  the  unjust,  that  he  may  bring  us  to 
God  His  blood  cleanseth  from  sin,  and  the  benefits  of  it  are 
free.  The  invitations  of  the  gospel  are  universal.  Though  God 
would  never  hear  the  prayers,  or  regard  the  tears  of  a  sinner  like 
you,  for  your  own  sake  ;  yet  he  will  hear,  from  heaven,  his 
dwelling-place,  that  petition  which  is  sincerely  offered  in  the 
name  of  his  Son.  Repent  of  your  sin,  and  you  shall  find 
mercy ;  believe  his  gospel  with  all  your  heart,  and  you  shall 
live.  Plead  the  worthiness  of  Christ  as  the  ground  of  accep- 
tance, to  the  utter  rejection  of  your  own,  and  God  will  gra- 
ciously hear,  forgive,  and  save  you.  Every  one  that  thus  asketh, 
receiveth  ;  and  he  that  seeketh,  findeth  ;  and  to  him  that  knock- 
eth,  the  door  of  mercy  shall  be  opened.  In  all  your  supplica- 
tions for  mercy,  be  sure  you  found  your  petitions  on  the  wor- 
thiness of  Christ  alone.  But,  if  you  can  see  no  loveliness  in 
him,  nor  beauty,  that  you  should  desire  him  ;  depend  upon  it, 
you  are  yet  in  your  sins,  and  so  dying,  you  must  perish.  I 
do  not  know  whether  you  have,  at  any  time,  been  inclined  to 
listen  to  the  abominable  suggestions  of  Infidels ;  but,  if  you 
have,  you  now  perceive  that  those  are  principles  that  will  not 
stand  by  you  in  the  near  approach  of  death.  If  the  Lamb  of 
God,  that  taketh  away  the  sin  of  the  world,  be  not  now  a  com- 
fort to  you,  you  are  comfortless.  Look  to  him,  my  dear  young 
friend,  and  live." 

I  add  another  letter,  which  was  sent  to  the  son  of  an  intimate 
friend. 


312  MEMOIRS    OF 

"Jan.  21,  1799. 
"  My  c!ear  young  Friend, 

"  On  account  of  the  long  and  intimate  acquaintance  which 
I  have  had  with  your  honoured  parents,  your  welfare  lies  near 
my  heart.  I  see  their  likeness  in  your  face,  and  should  be 
happy  to  see  it  in  your  spirit.  You  are  now  growing  up  to 
years  of  maturity,  and  must  shortly  take  your  stand,  either  on 
the  Lord's  side,  or  on  the  side  of  his  adversary.  Your  father 
has  put  up  thousands  of  ardent  prayers  on  your  behalf; 
but  they  will  avail  you  nothing,  unless  you  yourself  join  in 
calling  upon  the  name  of  the  Lord.  You  have  read  more  books 
than  most  children  of  your  age,  and,  amongst  others,  the  Book 
of  books,  the  Bible.  You  have  read  in  this  book,  that,  except 
we  repent,  <we  must  all  perish.  That  you  have  sins  to  repent 
of,  you  yourself  know  ;  and  have  you,  my  dear,  repented  ?  Did 
your  heart  ever  dissolve  with  grief  for  your  being  such  a  sinner 
against  the  Lord  !  You  have  read,  He  that  belie-veth  on  the  Son, 
hath  everlasting  life  ;  and  he  that  belie-veth  not  the  Son,  shall 
not  see  life ;  but  the  wrath  of  God  abideth  on  him.  And  are 
you  a  believer  on  the  Son  of  God  ?  Perhaps  you  think  you  are  ; 
but  it  is  not  your  yielding  an  assent  to  what  your  parents  teach 
you,  that  will  denominate  you  a  believer.  He  that  believeth  in 
Christ,  to  the  saving  of  his  soul,  must  know  and  feel  himself 
a  perishing  sinner  without  Christ ;  and  have  you  known  and 
felt  your  perishing  condition?  To  them  also  who  believe  in 
Christ,  he  is  precious  ;  so  that  his  name,  and  gospel,  and  peo- 
ple, are  dear  to  them  ;  more  dear  than  food  or  raiment,  or  gold, 
or  friends,  or  all  the  things  which  they  can  desire.  And  is  Christ 
thus  precious  to  you  ?  If  he  is,  eternal  bliss  is  before  you ;  if 
not,  the  wrath  of  God  abideth  on  you.  Think,  my  dear  lad,  of 
these  things,  and  call  upon  the  name  of  the  Lord,  that  you  may 
be  saved. 

«  A  few  weeks  ago,  I  heard  a  sermon  delivered  to  some  hun- 
dreds of  young  people ;  and  I  find  that  the  minister  usually 
delivered  such  a  sermon  to  the  young  people  of  his  congrega- 
tion, about  the  beginning  of  the  new  year.  As  I  felt  interested 
in  it,  I  took  down  a  considerable  part  of  it  in  short  hand  ;  and 
now  I  will  send  it  to  you,  in  hope  that  you  will  feel  interested  in 


MR.    FULLER.  313 

it,  as  much  as  I  did.  The  text  was  Psa.  xc.  14. — *  O  satisfy 
us  early  with  thy  mercy,  that  we  may  rejoice  and  be  glad  all 
our  days.'  " 

This  was  a  sermon  of  his  own,  which  has  since  been  printed 
at  Edinburgh,  and  which,  on  that  account,  I  omit  transcribing. 

Thus  did  he  earnestly  watch  for  opportunities  to  do  good  to 
the  children  of  his  friends,  as  well  as  to  his  own,  and  to  his 
more  distant  relatives.  Surely,  our  brethren  who  think  us  mis- 
taken in  not  daring  to  baptise  our  infants,  unless  we  could  find 
precept,  precedent,  or  satisfactory  consequence,  in  favour  of  that 
practice,  in  the  New  Testament,  must  admit,  that  he  was  as 
much  concerned  for  the  salvation  of  his  children,  as  they  can  be 
for  the  spiritual  welfare  of  theirs.  I  trust  this  is  generally  the 
case  with  others  ol  our  persuasion. 


40 


CHAP.  X. 

AN  ACCOUNT  OP  MR.  FULLER*S  FRAME  OF  MIND,  UNDER 
VARIOUS  PERSONAL  AFFLICTIONS,  AND  IN  HIS  LAST 
ILLNESS  AND  THE  IMMEDIATE  APPROACH  OF  DEATH 

HIS    LAST    LETTER    TO    THE    EDITOR AN      ACCOUNT 

OF     HIS     FUNERAL EXTRACT      FROM     MR.     TOLLER?S 

SERMON,    &C. 

BEFORE  I  enter  on  the  peculiar  subject  of  this  Chapter, 
I  would  remark,  that  I  cannot  but  think,  that  the  preceding 
account  contains  much  to  illustrate  the  life,  wa/£,  wor£,  and 
Jight  of  faith.  My  dear  Brother  could  truly  say,  <  I  through 
the  law  am  dead  to  the  law,  that  I  might  live  unto  God.' 
He  had  that  impressive  sense  of  the  extent,  strictness,  and 
spirituality  of  the  divine  law,  and,  at  the  same  time,  that  deep 
conviction  of  it's  perfect  equity  and  goodness,  which  induced 
him,  from  a  cordial  approbation  of  its  requirements,  and  a 
thorough  acquiescence  in  the  justice  even  of  its  penal  sanctions, 
to  renounce  all  dependence  upon  any  righteousness  of  his  own. 
He  considered  the  attempt  of  a  sinner  to  recommend  himself 
unto  God,  by  any  supposed  merit  of  his  own,  as  insolent 
presumption  j  as  illegal  as  it  is  anti-evangelical.  He  loved  the 
law  too  well  to  wish  it  altered,  or  abated,  or  to  be  in  any  way 
dishonoured :  and  his  acquaintance  with  the  gospel  confirmed 
and  increased  the  force  of  this  sentiment ;  for  he  was  crucified 
with  Christ ;  he  entered  into  the  manifest  import  of  his  death  j 
and  inferred,  that  if  it  were  requisite  for  one  of  such  dignity 
as  the  incarnate  Son  of  God  to  die  lor  all  that  shall  be  saved, 


316  MEMOIRS    OF 

to  prevent  their  escaping  personal  punishment  from  being  a 
d;siiniiour  to  the  divine  government,  then  were  they  all  dead, 
or  justly  and  fairly  condemned  to  eternal  death  ;  for,  if  they  had 
not  deserved  the  curse  of  the  law  themselves,  its  infliction 
upon  him,  in  their  stead,  must  have  been  the  most  shocking 
event  that  could  be  conceived  !  On  this  supposition,  the  atone- 
ment must  be  considered,  not  as  an  infinitely  wise  expedient) 
to  prevent  any  ill  effect  from  following  the  pardon  of  inexcu- 
sable criminals,  who  were  not  fit  to  be  objects  even  of  mercy 
without  a  full  exhibition  of  God's  abhorrence  of  their  crimes ; 
but,  (Heaven  forbid  the  blasphemy  I)  an  amends  made  to  wsj 
for  the  rigour  of  a  law  too  severe  to  be  enforced,  and  which 
would  have  excused,  or  even  justified,  our  enmity,  had  not  such 
deliverance  been  granted  1  Far  otherwise,  indeed,  were  my 
friend's  views  of  the  cross  of  Christ.  He  understood  the  just 
import  of  the  atonement ;  and  hence,  living  and  dying,  he  as- 
cribed all  his  salvation  to  rich,  free,  and  sovereign  grace  :  not 
calling  that  kindness  by  the  name  of  grace •,  which  was  imagined 
necessary  to  prevent  the  divine  character  from  being  impeached, 
on  account  of  too  much  severity  ;  but  considering  grace  as 
goodness  extended  to  the  unworthy  and  hell-deserving  ;  or  as 
imparting  the  highest  good  to  those  who  truly  deserved  wrath 
to  come  upon  them  to  the  uttermost ;  and  this,  in  such  a  way, 
as  more  strongly  to  express  God's  abhorrence  of  sin,  than  any 
punishment  which  the  sinner  could  have  endured  in  his  own 
person,  to  eternity. 

Thus,  his  illegal  hopes  being  slain,  he  was  begotten  again 
to  a  new  and  lively  hope,  by  the  resurrection  of  Jesus  Christ 
from  the  dead  ;  and,  though  crucified  with  Christ,  nevertheless 
he  lived)  and  that  unto  God  ;  entering  into  the  holy  tendency 
of  the  gospel,  as  well  as  into  its  humbling  imfiort.  Hence, 
the  life  which  he  lived  in  the  flesh,  he  lived  by  the  faith  of  the 
Son  of  God  ;  accounting,  that,  if  Jesus  loved  him,  and  gave 
himself  for  him,  it  must  be  most  reasonable  that  he  should  love 
the  Redeemer,  in  return,  and  devote  himself  wholly  to  him. 
He  felt  that  he  was  not  his  own  ;  but,  having  been  bought  with 
a  price,  was  bound  to  live,  not  to  himself,  but  to  him  that 
died  and  rose  again.  He  considered  every  obligation  to  obedfc- 


MR.    FULLER.  317 

ence,  under  which  a  rational  creature  could  lie  antecedently  to 
the  consideration  of  redemption,  as  confirmed  and  enhanced  by 
the  mediation  of  that  illustrious  person,  who  has  magnified  the 
law  and  made  it  honourable  ;  and  he  felt  himself  laid  under 
new,  additional,  powerful,  and  endearing  obligations,  by  the 
love  of  the  Saviour,  and  the  benefit  secured  to  him,  through  his 
gracious  interposition. 

He  considered  the  perfect  obedience  of  God's  incarnate  Son, 
who  voluntarily  assumed  the  form  of  a  servant,  as  being  at 
once,  the  sole  ground  of  his  justification,  and  the  lovely  pattern 
of  his  sanctification.  And  the  former  view  of  it,  instead  of  ob- 
scuring the  latter,  only  endeared  it  to  him  the  more  abundantly. 
That  Holy  One  could  never  say,  «  Because  I  am  holy,  ye  need 
not  be  holy  :'  his  language  is,  As  he  who  hath  called  you  is 
holy,  so  be  ye  holy,  in  all  manner  of  con-versation  ;  because  it  is 
written,  Be  ye  holy,  for  I  am  holy.  Hence,  as  he  desired  to 
be  found  in  Christ,  not  having  his  own  righteousness,  which  is 
of  the  law,  but  that  which  is  through  the  faith  of  Christ,  the 
righteousness  which  is  of  God  by  faith  ;  so  he  lived  upon  him 
for  strength,  as  well  as  for  righteousness.  He  earnestly  sought 
sanctification*  from  Christ,  as  well  as  justification  in  Christ. 

*  Some,  of  late,  are  not  satisfied  with  the  idea  of  an  imputed  righteous- 
ness for  justification  ;  but  talk  also  of  an  imputed  sanctification.  What  do 
they  intend  by  this  phrase  .'  If  they  mean  no  more  than  this — that  God, 
(in  placing  to  the  account  of  the  believer  that  obedience  of  one  by  which 
many  are  made  righteous,  or,  for  the  sake  of  which  all  believers  shall  be 
treated  as  if  they  had  personally  and  perfectly  fulfilled  the  law,  and  shall 
enjoy  even  a  greater  reward  than  they  could,  in  that  case,  have  expected,) 
has  a  regard,  not  only  to  the  good  actions  of  his  beloved  Bon,  but  also  to 
his  holy  disposition  ;  we  should  never  hesitate,  for  a  moment,  in  maintain- 
ing the  same.  We  only  ask,  how  dare  they  labour  to  throw  an  odium  on 
their  brethren,  as  though  they  denied  this  ? 

But,' if  they  mean  to  deny,  that  any  internal  holiness  is  imparted  from 
Christ  to  his  people,  or  that  the  branches  of  the  true  vine  are  made  fruit" 
ful  by  the  vital  nourishment  derived  from  the  root :  then,  indeed,  we  dis- 
claim all  brotherhood  with  such  professors.  I  would  say, 

"  O  my  soul,  come  not  thou  into  their  secret ; 

Unto  their  assembly,  mine  honour,  be  not  thou  united  !" 

Though  such  men,  by  their  fair  speeches  about  free  grace,  may  beguile 
unstable  souls  ;  yet  they  are  enemies  to  the  cross  of  Christ,  and  the  ad- 
versaries of  divine  grace.  They  who  deny  all  duty  and  obligation,  mast 


318  MEMOIRS    OF 

Though  deeply  convinced,  that,  separate  from  him,  he  could  d« 
nothing  ;  yet  he  rejoiced  that  he  could  do  all  things,  through 
Christ  who  strengthened  him.  And  the  tenor  of  his  life  evinced 
that  Christ  wrought  in  him  mightily.  He  walked  by  faith,  and 
not  by  sight ;  regarding  invisible  realities  as  of  infinitely  greater 
importance  than  all  the  things  that  are  seen.  His  faith,  work- 
ing by  love  to  God  and  holiness,  to  all  saints,  and  to  the  souls 
of  men,  made  him  willing  to  spend  and  be  spent  for  the  honour 
of  his  Lord,  and  the  advancement  of  his  kingdom,  even  to  the 
ends  of  the  earth.  His  faith  opposed  whatsoever  was  opposite 
to  the  glory  and  the  revealed  will  of  God.  He  contended 
earnestly  for  the  faith  once  delivered  to  the  saints,  guarding 
against  error,  on  the  right  hand  and  on  the  left.  It  engaged 
him  also  in  a  constant  conflict  with  sin,  especially  with  sin  in 
his  own  bosom,  against  which  he  incessantly  watched  and 
prayed.  And  now  this  good  f-ght  has  ended  in  complete  vic- 
tory ;  and  he  has  joined  them,  who,  with  palms  in  their  hands, 
are  surrounding  the  throne  of  God  and  the  Lamb. 

He  was  concerned,  not  only  to  do  the  will  of  God,  but  to 
suffer  it  also.  The  last  Chapter  has  shown  how  he  was  sup<- 
ported  under  manifold  relative  afflictions,  under  which  he  en- 
dured  hardness  as  a  good  soldier  of  Jesus  Christ.  And,  in 
this  Chapter,  I  shall  take  a  survey  of  his  deportment  under 
personal  afflictions  ;  which  I  am  able  to  do,  both  from  my  own 
papers,  and  from  documents  furnished  by  other  friends,  and 
by  his  own  family. 

Though  Mr.  Fuller  appeared  to  be  of  a  remarkably  strong 
and  athletic  make,  yet  he  had  been,  from  his  youth,  liable  to 
severe  bilious  attacks,  and  his  lungs  were,  at  different  times,  se- 
verely affected  by  colds.  It  was,  therefore,  a  more  remarkable 
favour,  that  he  was  spared  to  us  so  long. 

It  was  not  till  some  time  after  his  removal  to  Kettering,  that 
he  had  the  small  pox,  for  which  he  was,  at  last,  inoculated. 

thereby,  annihilate  all  sin  and  guilt ;  and  those  who  deny  the  justice  of 
the  sinner's  condemnation,  must,  consequently,  annihilate  all  grace  in  his 
pardon  :  thus  they  utterly  dishonour  the  Saviour,  and  turn  the  grace  of 
God  into  wantonness.  *•  While  they  promise  men  liberty,  they  themselves 
are  the  servants  of  corruption  ;  for  of  whom  a  man  is  overcome,  of  the 
same  is  he  brought  into  bondage." 


MR.    FULLER.  319 

But,  some  time  before  he  underwent  that  operation,  he  took 
a  journey  to  London,  where  he  seemed  to  have  been  much 
in  danger  of  infection  from  that  disorder  ;  on  which  occasion  he 
wrote  me  the  following  letter : — 

«  London,  Nov.  4,  1783. 
"  Very  dear  Brother, 

"  Amidst  the  confusions  of  the  city,  and  my  fatigues  in  trav- 
elling about  it,  I  cannot  forget  you.  I  have  been  much  dis- 
pirited, and  have  a  mind  to  try  and  cheer  myself,  to-night,  by 
writing  to  my  friend,  the  remembrance  of  whom  gives  me  pleas- 
ure. Perhaps,  I  may  have  nothing  to  say,  that  will  be  equal  in 
value  to  the  postage  of  a  letter ;  but,  however  that  may  be,  I 
must  write,  to  ease  my  mind.  I  have  been,  for  this  week  past, 
thinking  of  little  else  but  dying.  On  Wednesday,  October 
29,  I  accidentally  went  into  a  house,  where  had  been  the  small 
pox.  A  young  man  had  just  recovered,  so  as  to  get  out  into 
the  air.  I  smelt  something  disagreeable,  which  made  me  in- 
quire, and  then  I  received  this  information.  I  was  not  affright- 
ed, though  pretty  much  affected.  I  have  not  been  distressed, 
yet  cannot  put  all  such  thoughts  from  my  mind,  as  that  1  may 
have  the  small  pox,  and  perhaps,  die  in  London,  and  so  see  my 
friends  no  more.  On  the  other  hand,  these  may  be  all  mere 
thoughts.  But  I  have,  to-night,  been  reading  Mr.  Macgowan's 
Death  a  Vision  ;  and,  what  with  my  own  case  and  that  together,  ' 
I  am  as  if  one  half  of  me  was  in  another  world.  I  feel  myself 
reproved  by  what  I  have  read,  for  my  attention  to  my  dear  wife 
and  children,  before  the  church  of  God.  I  must  own,  if  it  be 
to  my  shame,  that  these  have  been,  more  than  any  thing,  near 
my  heart,  when  I  have  thought  of  dying:  though,  on  the  other 
hand,  I  feel  loth  to  go  out  of  the  world,  without  having  done 
more  than  I  have  yet  done  for  the  cause  of  Christ.  I  have  not 
written  any  thing  of  this  kind  to  Kettering,  nor  must  you  let  it 
be  known  to  any  one  but  yourselves." 

Some  references  have  already  been  made  to  what  was  sup- 
posed to  be  a  slight  paralytic  affection  of  his  cheek;  in  1793; 
concerning  which,  he  wrote  to  me  thus ;-— 


320 


MEMOIRS    OF 


"Kettering,  Feb.  8,  1793, 

" My  face  is  much  better.  I  ride  out  every  day, 

and  find  the  use  of  my  eye  and  lips  return  daily.  God  grant? 
that  my  powers,  if  preserved,  may  be  laid  out  for  him.  I  bless 
God,  I  never  enjoyed  more  peace  and  communion  with  him  in 
my  life,  than  within  the  last  three  quarters  of  a  year.  I  find  it 
of  great  use  to  my  own  soul,  to  be  engaged  in  some  disinter- 
ested undertaking,  for  promoting  the  kingdom  of  Christ ;  and 
to  have  a  portion  of  affliction,  to  absorb  those  superfluous  spir- 
its, (as  Mr.  Thomas,  in  his  letters  to  Mr.  Booth,  expresses  it,) 
which,  otherwise,  are  too  much  for  me." 

Mr.  Fuller's  diaries,  and  his  letters  to  me,  as  already  seen, 
contain  several  instances  of  his  mental  exercises  in  the  near 
prospect  of  eternity  ;  but  I  have  purposely  reserved  the  follow- 
ing for  this  place. 

In  1801,  he  had  a  veiy  severe  illness,  to  which  he  refers,  in  a 
letter  to  me,  dated  August  the  15th  : — «  I  have  had  a  very  bad 
cold,  which  has  prevented  my  intended  journey  into  Oxford- 
shire. Last  Lord's  day,  I  could  preach  only  once,  and  that  for 
about  half  an  hour.  It  has  almost  taken  away  my  hearing,  and 
is  accompanied  with  some  fever.  I  hoped  to  be  able  to  go  to 
Leicester  next  Wednesday,  where  we  had  agreed  to  hold  a  day 
of  thanksgiving,  for  mercy  to  the  Mission  ;  but,  to-day,  the 
apothecary  forbids  my  going.  To-morrow  I  must  preach,  but 
very  little.  Yet  my  strength  is  not  much  abated :  I  can  sit  and 
write,  in  moderation.  I  have  been  taking  medicines  for  more 
than  a  week." 

A  friend  of  mine,  at  Kettering,  wrote  to  me,  on  August  the 
19th,  and  mentioned  the  following  particulars  : — "  Mr.  Fuller 
had  a  slight  cold,  when  he  set  off  his  journey  to  Derby,  whence 
he  returned,  on  Friday,  July  3 1  ;  and,  having  rode  some  miles 
in  a  heavy  rain,  his  hoarseness  was  much  increased,  so  that  his 
friends  would  not  permit  him  to  attempt  preaching  on  the 
Lord's  day ;  but,  as  we  were  destitute  of  a  supply,  one  of  our 
members  read  the  interesting  accounts  just  received  from  India, 
which  were  reviving  to  the  hearts  of  many.  The  following 
week,  he  had  medical  advice,  and  found  himself  rather  better. 
We  had  a  supply  in  the  morning,  and  Mr.  F.  delivered  a  short 


MR.    FULLER.  321 

discourse  in  the  afternoon.  Last  week,  he  went  to  Ampthill, 
for  a  few  days,  with  Mrs.  F.  her  father  being  unwell.  Last 
Lord's  day,  one  of  the  deacons  engaged  in  prayer,  and  Mr  F. 
delivered  two  short  discourses.  But  his  complaint  is  not  remov- 
ed. He  complains  of  great  oppression  on  his  chest,  and  has  a 
cough  and  hoarseness.  His  friends  have  persuaded  him  to 
consult  Dr.  Kerr.  He  is  very  weak  and  debilitated,  and  has 
much  fever.  The  faculty  do  not  pronounce  his  complaint 
alarmingly  dangerous ;  but  advise  rest.  Mr.  Sutcliff  was  here 
yesterday,  on  his  way  to  a  Missionary  Meeting,  at  Leicester, 
where  he  will  engage  supplies  for  us,  for  a  time.  But  Mr.  F.'s 
exertions  are  too  much  for  his  health.  His  friends  wish  a 
proper  assistant  could  be  found  for  him,  till  his  constitution  is 
more  strengthened.  Dear  Sir,  pray  for  us,  that  so  valuable  a 
life  may  yet  be  continued,  it'  consistent  with  the  Lord's  will,. 
He  is  very  languid,  to-day,  owing  to  the  drawing  of  a  large 
blister,  which  Dr.  K.  ordered  to  be  put  on  his  stomach." 

The  same  friend  wrote  again,  August  26. — **  Since  I  wrote 
last,  Mr.  F.  continued  much  the  same,  till  Friday,  when  he  was 
ordered  to  take  a  gentle  ride  on  horseback,  if  he  could  bear  it, 
for  the  benefit  of  the  air.  He  rode  but  a  little  way,  and  came 
back  much  exhausted,  but  had  some  refreshing  rest  at  night; 
On  Saturday,  he  attempted  another  short  and  gentle  ride,  which 
did  not  seem  to  have  any  good  effect.  In  the  evening,  he  felt 
great  chilliness.  The  fever  came  on  rather  violently,  and  he 
had  a  bad,  restless  night.  I  saw  him  next  morning :  he  was 
up,  in  his  chair,  but  very  ill ;  his  spirits  seemed  much  depress- 
ed ;  could  scarcely  speak,  or  look  at  any  one,  without  tears.  He 
complained  of  violent  pain  and  heaviness  in  his  head,  consider- 
able fever,  a  constant  nausea,  violent  cough  and  spitting,  evidently 
bilious.  Dr.  Kerr  was  expected  to  come  within  six  miles,  and 
wished  Mr.  F.  to  meet  him  ;  but  he  found  himself  totally  unable 
to  attempt  riding  in  a  chaise.  We  therefore,  sent  for  the  doc- 
tor, who  came  by  ten  o'clock  on  Monday  morning,  and  was 
with  him  near  three  quarters  of  an  hour,  inquiring  particularly 
into  his  case.  He  desires  he  may  be  kept  composed,  and  talk  as 
little  as  possible,  and  every  thing  done  to  exhilarate  his  spirits, 
which  seem  much  depressed.  He  says,  it  is  the  effect  of  vio- 
41 


322 


MEMOIRS    OF 


lent  colds,  taken  one  after  another.     He  hopes  the  medicines 
will  take  a  right  effect :  if  they  do  not  succeed,  he  advises  asses' 
milk,  and   a  milk  diet     He  says,  <  I  hope  he  will  do  well ;  but 
it  will  be  a  long  time,  and  he  must,  as  much  as  possible,  avoid 
thinking,  speaking,  or  writing.'   Yesterday,  he  had  not  so  much 
fever,  but  his  cough  is  much  the  same.     He  is  very  low,  which 
seems  the  effect  of  his  complaint  ;  but  he  hopes  to  be  engaged 
in  bis  beloved  work,  in  a  short  time.     I  fear,  we  shall  find  he  is 
mistaken.     When  he  was  so  ill,  on  Lord's  day,  he  said,  « I  know 
not  what  the  Lord's  will  is,  concerning  me  ;  but,  sometimes,  I 
am  apprehensive  he  is  about  to  remove  me.'     That  is  the  only 
time  he  has  uttered  such  an  expression  :  it  does  not  seem  to  be 
a  prevailing  idea  on  his  mind.     We  have  prayer- meetings,  on 
his  account,  every  night.     O  that  the  Lord  may  hear,  and  gra- 
ciously answer,  the  prayers  of  his  people  !     Professor  Bentley, 
of  Aberdeen,  came  here,  on  Monday  evening,  hoping  to  enjoy 
an  hour's  conversation  with  Mr.  F.     He  went,  and  sat  awhile  in 
the  room  with  him,  and  was  gratified  with  having  seen  him." 

Since  Mr.  Fuller's  death,  Mr.  Daniel  Sutcliff  sent  me  the 
following  extract  from  a  letter  to  his  brother,  at  Olney,  as  a 
sample  of  Mr.  F-'s  exercises  of  mind  under  affliction  : — 

"Sept.  1,1801- 

tl  T  am  brought  very  low.     Dr.  Kerr  was  here  on  Lord's  day. 
He  goes  on   xvith  blisters  and  medicine.     My   cough  is  very 
trvin<r.     I  eret  sleep  chiefly  by  means  of  medicine.     An  almost 
contimial  rough  causes  an  almost  continual  fever ;  and  this  de- 
strovs  appetite,  strength,  and  spirits.     My  mind  is  calm,  and 
tolerahlv  happy.     1  know  whom    I  have  believed.     I  have  no 
misfrmners  as  to  the  ground  on  which  I  stand  :   all  the  misgiv- 
ings I  have,  regard  mvself.     I  am  a  poor  polluted  creature,  and 
have  been  but  an  unprofitable  servant.     I  could  have  no  hope 
but  in  a  Saviour  who  came  to  save  the  chief  of  sinners.     I  per- 
ceive, many  are  apprehensive  thatl  am  going  after  dear  Pearce- 
If  it  be  so,  1  hope  to  go  where  he  is  gone,  and  to  be  where  he 
now  is  !   I  remember,  when  riding  from  London,  in  June,  1799, 
just  after  the  sailing  of  the   Criterion^  when  that  dear  man  was 
wasting  away  at  Plymouth,  I  was  overcome,  for  miles  together, 
with  weeping,  and  this  was  the  sum  of  my  prayer — Let  tte 


MR.    FULLER.  323 

irod  of  Samuel  Pearce  be  my  God.  It  is  some  pleasure  to 
follow  such  dear  friends  to  glory  ;  but  most  of  all,  that  Jesus 
our  forerunner  is  entered  into  the  heavenly  places.  Whether  I 
follow  him  now,  or  afterwards,  we  shall  each  follow  him  soon. 
Yes,  my  dear  Brother,  we  shall  be  with  him,  unworthy  as  we 
are  \ 

«  Yours,  with  undying  affection, 

'  «  ANDREW  FULLER." 

On  the  9th  of  September,  I  had  a  short  letter  from  himself. 
"  Within  a  week,  (he  says,)  I  feel  sensibly  better  ;  though  the 
cough  is  not  much  abated,  and  my  hearing  does  not  much  re- 
turn. I  am  still  blistered  about  the  stomach.  I  much  wish  I 
had  an  assistant.  I  do  not  know  that  I  have  been  low-spirited, 
as  Mrs.  Timins  seems  to  have  thought.  I  have  been  very 
weak,  and  unable  to  talk.  I  have  generally  been  calm,  and  re- 
signed to  God  ;  and  sometimes  have  been  tenderly  affected  in 
committing  my  spirit  into  his  hands.  I  perceived,  that  many 
people  talked  of  my  case  resembling  that  of  Pearce.  I  never 
thought  them  similar  ;  but  I  felt  desirous,  that,  if  it  were  so,  I 
might  go  whither  he  is  gone.  Some  exercises  of  mind  which 
I  had  when  that  dear  man  was  wasting  away  at  Plymouth,  re- 
curred to  me  with  much  effect.  It  was  then  my  prayer,  and  so 
it  is  now — Let  tht  God  of  Samuel  Pearce  be  my  God  ! 

"  Last  Friday  night,  Dr.  Stuart,  of  Edinburgh,  came  to  see 
me  !  To  be  sure  it  was  unexpected :  he  stayed  over  the  Lord's 
day." 

On  November  4,  1801,  he  wrote  to  me,  from  Oakham,  thus  : 
"  I  ventured,  yesterday,  to  ride  with  Brother  Sutcliff  hither,  to 
the  ordination  of  Brother  Jarman.  It  was  fine  weather  while 
we  were  on  the  road  ;  but  set  in  wet  soon  after  we  got  here, 
and  still  continues  so.  I  did  not  mean  to  have  preached  ;  and, 
as  it  is,  1  dare  not  go  to  meeting,  but  employ  myself  in  writing 
to  you.  My  health  and  strength  are  pretty  well  recovered  ;  but 
my  lungs  are  very  susceptible  of  cold,  which  I  expect  they  will 
be  all  the  winter.  I  have  administered  the  Lord's  supper  once? 
and  spoken  in  small  companies,  which  required  no  great  exer- 
tion, several  times,  without  any  sensible  injury  j  but  have  not 
yet  been  in  the  pulpit." 


324  MEMOIRS    OF 

December  1,  he  wrote  to  me  respecting  a  young  man  to  as- 
sist him  for  a  time,  and  observed : — "  I  never  needed  an  assist- 
ant so  much.  I  have  preached  once  a  day,  for  three  weeks  or 
a  month  past.  Last  night  I  had  a  return  of  fever,  and  feel  its 
effects  to-day." 

« — My  correspondence  is  a  heavy  load.  1  have  lately  had 
a  return  of  bilious  fever.  I  preached  once  on  Lord's  day,  but 
that  was  all.  The  fever  is  now  nearly  subsided." 

March  31,  1802,  he  complained  to  me ;  "  My  lungs  are  very 
susceptible  of  cold,  from  east  winds  and  damp  air.  I  went  to 
an  ordination  at  Luton,  the  18th  and  19th  instant,  and  added  to 
my  cold." 

May  4th,  he  says, — «  My  health  is  pretty  well  restored."  Yet 
in  two  following  letters,  received  that  month,  he  mentions  his 
being  affected  with  cold,  and  remarks,  that  he  could  not  venture 
to  preach  above  twice  a  day. 

In  October,  1806,  he  had  been  considerably  unwell,  but  found 
benefit  by  riding  on  horseback,  about  twenty  miles  a  day.  "  I 
am  just  arrived  in  London,  (said  he,  October  6,)  and  find  the 
journey  has  been  useful.  But  a  little  fever  remains.  I  mean 
to  stop  here  a  few  days,  perhaps  about  six,  riding  out  into  the 
country  every  day,  and  then  to  return  home.  I  do  not  preach 
during  this  journey." 

He  wrote  from  Kettering,  on  the  23d. — "  My  health  is  some- 
what restored.  I  hope  to  preach  once,  next  Lord's  day.  My 
greatest  danger  lies  in  losing  my  rest  in  the  night,  which  is  the 
effect  of  application  in  the  day  ;  and  when  this  is  the  case,  I 
have  a  fever  for  a  day  or  two.  I  have  been  pretty  comfortable 
for  several  days.  I  can  arrange  the  journals  and  letters  from 
India,  for  No.  XVI.  I  hope,  without  hurting  myself." 

"Jan.  27, 1808. 

« I  last  night  returned  from  Leicester,  with  a  strong  fever 
upon  me,  through  excess  of  labour.  I  am  a  little  better,  to- 
day. My  Apology  for  the  Mission  would  have  been  finished  by 
this  time ;  but  there  are  new  pieces  come  out,  as  full  of  wrath  as 
possible,  which  I  am  told  I  must  notice.  I  am  really  distressed 
with  public  and  private  labours." 


MR.    FULLER.  325 

"March  19,1808. 

"  I  got  a  fall,  yesterday,  from  a  horse,  which  has  much  bruised 
my  side,  through  my  falling  on  a  large  stone  ;  but,  having  had 
proper  treatment,  I  hope  that  nothing  of  danger  will  follow.  The 
horse  took  fright,  and  stopping  suddenly,  when  on  a  full  trot, 
threw  me  over  his  head.  The  stone  went  just  against  my  ribs, 
near  the  heart,  and  for  some  time,  I  was  unable  to  rise.  It  is 
now  very  sore,  but  nothing  is  broken." 

«  May  4. 

"  I  have  been  very  ill,  since  my  return  from  London,  The  jar 
•f  the  coach  renewed  the  soreness  occasioned  by  my  fall  from 
the  horse  ;  nor  is  it  yet  fully  removed.  I  am  obliged  to  keep 
very  still,  and  refrain  from  all  violent  motion." 

"May  31,  1811. 

"  I  have  been  unwell,  for  the  last  two  months.  I  have  not 
preached  since  April  21.  A  bad  cold  first  affected  my  lungs, 
A  fever  hangs  on  me,  which  frequently  keeps  me  awake  whole 
nights.  I  hope  to  see  brother  Sutcliff  to-morrow,  with  whom 
I  shall  consult  about  the  northern  journey.  I  see  no  probability 
of  my  being  able  to  go,  and  to  preach  during  the  journey.  I 
much  wish  you  and  he  could  go  together.*' 

"  Pisford,  near  Northampton,  June  5. 

« I  came  hither  yesterday,  instead  of  going  to  the  Association. 
I  have  agreed,  as  soon  as  I  am  well,  to  visit  Yorkshire ;  so 
that  you  and  brother  Sutcliff  have  only  Scotland.  1  am  here 
for  three  or  four  clays.  I  have  some  fever  in  the  night ;  and, 
were  I  to  speak  for  ten  minutes,  should  almost  lose  my  voice." 

«  June  24. 

"Frequent  attacks  of  fever  keep  me  awake  nearly  whole 
nights,  and  render  me  incapable  of  preaching.  Till  this  fever 
is  removed,  I  cannot  recover." 

By  some  mistake  of  a  worthy  friend,  Mr.  F.  was  Jed  to 
imagine  the  bills  from  India  to  be  much  larger  than  they  were  ; 
and  this  so  affected  his  mind,  as  to  bring  on  a  return  of  fever. 
But,  in  a  few  weeks,  it  was  found  that  the  difficulties  were  not 
insurmountable. 


326  MEMOIRS    OF 

"Oct.  5,  1811. 

"  I  returned  on  Sept.  26,  I  think,  essentially  better  for  my 
journey.  The  first  eight  days  the  fever  hung  upon  me.  1 
had  four  sleepless  nights,  and  was  meditating  a  return  home  ; 
but,  taking  a  pill  every  morning,  for  about  a  week,  I  got  good 
nights,  the  fever  left  me,  and  I  went  on  with  my  work  very 
well.  I  preached  twenty-two  sermons  in  the  month,  travelled 
upwards  of  600  miles,  and  collected  £645.  Going  to  the  Min- 
isters' Meeting,  at  Northampton,  I  got  wet  through,  which  has 
left  a  slight  cold  on  my  lungs  ;  else,  I  am  much  better  than  I 
have  been  all  the  summer." 

"Nov.  16. 

«  My  lungs  are  very  susceptible  of  cold.  Though  I  was 
not,  during  my  journey  to  London  last  week,  at  all  exposed  to 
the  rain,  yet  I  took  such  a  cold,  riding  home  withinside  the 
coach,  (it  rained  all  day,)  that  I  have  been  obliged  to  shut  my- 
self up  all  this  week.  By  the  means  I  have  used,  I  feel 
somewhat  better,  and  hope  to  be  able  to  preach  a  little  to- 
morrow. 

«  I  have  preached  twice  to-day,  getting  our  friends  to  read 
the  Scriptures,  and  pray,  and  though  somewhat  hoarse  to-night, 
yet  I  am  not  seriously  injured  by  it." 

In  May  1812,  he  took  a  journey  into  Wales.  Though  he  was 
very  unwell  when  he  set  out,  yet  his  health  improved  as  he  went 
en.  He  wrote  thus,  from  Abergavenny,  in  the  former  part  of 
the  time  to  brother  Smcliff,  of  Olney : — 

«  My  dear  Brother, 

« It  was  not  because  I  forgot  your  kind  request,  that  I  did 
not  write  before ;  but,  from  being  so  unwell,  that  writing  has 
been  a  burden.  I  have  had  much  fever,  and  five  or  six  sleepless 
nights ;  no  sleep  however,  in  several  instances,  till  three 
or  four  in  the  morning.  I  have  preached  only  three  ser- 
mons, since  I  left  home.  One  at  Birmingham,  one  at  Worces- 
ter, and  one  here.  I  do  not  find  any  ill  effect  from  these,  as  I 
speak  low,  and  only  stand  about  half  an  hour.  [After  men- 
tioning some  applauses,  and  some  malignant  censures  of  the 
Baptists,  and  the  work  in  which  they  were  engaged,  he  adds,] 


MR.   FULLER.  32? 

Our  wisdom  is  to  be  still  and  quiet,  and  to  mind  our  own  busi- 
ness. For  my  own  part,  my  afflictions  say  to  me,  Study  to  show 
thyself  afijiro-vedunto  God.  What  empty  things  are  the  applauses 
of  creatures,  and  how  idle  the  pursuit  of  them!  I  seem  near 
the  end  of  my  course,  and  hope  through  grace,  and  grace  only, 
to  finish  it  with  joy.  I  have  no  transports,  but  a  steady  hope  of 
eternal  life,  on  the  ground  of  my  Saviour's  death.  I  feel  some 
freedom  in  my  applications  to  God  in  his  name.  If  I  should 
die,  I  shall  be  able  to  say  to  the  rising  generation,  God  will 
surely  -visit  you.  A  work  is  begun,  that  will  not  end  till  the 
world  be  subdued  to  the  Saviour.  We  have  done  a  little  for  him, 
accompanied  with  much  evil;  the  Lord  grant  that  that  may 
not  be  laid  to  our  charge  in  that  day.  Love,  as  due. 
"  Affectionately  yours, 

«  A.  FULLER." 

Feb.  5,  1813,  he  observed  to  me, — «  My  health  is  better,  this 
winter,  than  heretofore.  I  am  requested  to  go  to  London,  for  a 
fortnight,  about  the  business  of  the  new  charter." 

«Sept7,  1813. 

«  I  should  have  written  to  you,  ere  now  ;  but  seven  days  ago, 
I  was  seized  with  a  strong  bilious  attack,  which  has  nearly  con^ 
fined  me  in  bed  ever  since,  and  from  which,  though  now  much 
better,  I  am  not  yet  recovered." 

«  Dec.  27. 

«  Since  my  return  from  Bristol,  [from  Mr.  Rowe's  ordination, 
as  a  Missionary  to  Jamaica,]  I  have  been  under  strong  appre- 
hensions, lest  the  cold  which  I  took  in  going  down  should  lay 
me  by  for  the  winter.  But  I  had  medical  advice  immediately, 
and  feel  now  much  better." 

"June  11,  1814. 

«  The  repeated  attacks  I  have  lately  had  of  the  bilious 
colic,  have  induced  me  for  the  present  to  decline  my  journey 
into  Essex.  Perhaps  I  may  go,  if  well  enough,  in  September. 
I  have  been  to  Olney,  but  was  afraid  to  undertake  so  much 
preaching  as  the  Essex  journey  would  have  required.  Brother 
Sutcliff  gets  no  better.  I  fear  there  is  little  or  no  hope  of  him." 


328  MEMOIRS   OF 

"Sept.  18. 

"  For  the  last  fortnight,  I  have  been  laid  by,  and  nearly  con- 
fined to  my  bed.  I  know  not  when  I  have  had  so  violent  an 
attack  of  the  bile.  I  had  an  inflammation  about  the  liver,  the 
effects  of  which  are  still  upon  me,  so  that  I  can  scarcely  walk. 
I  hope  to  get  out  to  meeting  once  to-day.  I  know  not  what  to 
do  about  the  Missionary  Students,  [who  had  been  under  .the  care 
of  brother  SutclifF,]  being  utterly  unfit  to  entertain  care  of  any 
kind.  I  thought  it  best  to  let  them  come  to  you.  Here  I  must 
leave  it.  The  writing  of  this  letter  has  overcome  me." 

I  have  by  me  one  and  twenty  letters,  written  this  year,  and 
nine  written  in  1815  :  but  in  one  of  them,  dated  March  20th, 
he  says, — "  I  am  now  so  ill,  that  I  can  hardly  write  a  letter." 

April,  2,  1815,  he  says, — «  I  have  been  very  unwell  of  late :  I 
have  preached  but  little  for  some  time,  and  cannot  to-day.  I 
have  been  taking  antimonial  medicines  for  my  liver  complaint, 
and  am  brought  extremely  low." 

"April  13,  1815. 

ft  I  have  had  a  very  strong  attack  of  the  fever ;  nor  is  it  yet 
removed,  though  somewhat  abated.  For  some  days,  I  had 
several  dangerous  symptoms.  Last  night  I  had  the  best  night 
I  have  had  for  a  fortnight.  At  present,  I  am  not  able  to  travel 
to  Cheltenham  ;  but  my  apothecary  has  determined  on  my  going 
thither,  as  soon  as  I  am  able  to  bear  the  journey,  which  he  hopes 
I  may  do  in  about  a  week.  This  depends  however,  on  the  sub- 
siding of  the  fever.  I  do  not  know  any  person  at  Chelten- 
ham. I  should  be  glad  to  be  in  a  Christian  family,  and  to 
make  them  satisfaction.  Perhaps  you  would  drop  a  line  thither, 
to  prepare  my  way  I  must  take  shert  stages,  though  I  should 
be  four  or  five  days  in  going.  I  can  only  add, 
"I  am, 

"Affectionately  yours, 

«  ANDREW  FULLER." 

This  was  the  last  letter  which  I  ever  received  from  my 
faithful  and  invaluable  friend,  written  wholly  by  himself.  I 
jprepared  his  way  at  Cheltenham ;  but  he  never  was  able  to 
avail  himself  of  the  offer  of  an  excellent  aged  Christian,  (Mrs. 


MR.    FULLER.  329 

i 

Dunscombe,)  to  accommodate  him  at  her  house.  One  more 
letter  met  me  at  Birmingham,  dictated  by  himself,  and  signed 
at  length,  by  his  own  dying  hand.  Though  it  has  already  ap- 
peared in  his  funeral  sermon,  and  great  part  of  it  in  other  pub- 
lications, yet  I  shall  insert  it  in  this  Memoir,  after  transcribing 
a  few  particulars,  communicated  by  his  family,  respecting  his 
last  illness. 

The  commencement  of  his  disorder,  they  observe,  may  prop- 
erly be  dated  back  to  September,  1814.  After  preaching,  on 
Lord's  day  morning,  the  4th  of  that  month,  he  was  seized  with 
the  usual  symptoms  attendant  upon  a  bilious  complaint ;  but 
having  been  accustomed  to  such  attacks,  danger  was  not,  at  first 
apprehended.  In  a  day  or  two,  however,  the  disorder  instead  of 
subsiding,  assumed  a  more  serious  aspect.  The  progress  of 
this  affliction,  and  his  partial  recovery  from  it,  are  described  by 
himself,  in  a  letter  to  a  friend,  dated  Sept.  30. 

"  Since  I  saw  you,  I  have  been  brought  very  low.  About  a 
month  ago,  I  had  a  bilious  attack,  from  which,  having  often  had 
it  before,  I  expected  no  serious  consequences ;  but,  after  two 
or  three  days,  I  was  seized  with  a  violent  inflammation,  I  sup- 
pose, in  the  liver.  I  had  a  high  fever,  was  bled,  blistered,  and 
confined  to  my  bed  for  a  week.  I  took  calomel  medicines. 
After  this,  the  fever  abated,  and  my  medical  attendant  consid- 
ered the  danger  as  over.  My  appetite  has  returned,  and  I  have 
been  out  in  the  air  pretty  much  ;  but  the  soreness  in  my  right 
side  is  still  such,  that  I  know  not  how  to  sleep  upon  it,  and  my 
strength  recruits  very  slowly." 

After  this,  his  health  gradually  increased,  so  as  to  enable  him, 
in  some  degree,  to  renew  his  pulpit  labours ;  and  he  even  at- 
tempted a  journey  into  some  parts  of  the  north  of  England, 
which  he  had  not  been  able  to  visit  on  a  Missionary  tour  in  the 
preceding  summer.  He  set  out  on  the  i Oth  of  October,  ac- 
companied by  two  young  ministers,  Messrs.  Blundel  and  Mack, 
from  Northampton  and  Clipstone ;  but  by  the  time  he  had 
reached  Newark,  he  had  a  return  of  feverish  symptoms,  on  ac- 
count of  which,  he  was  obliged  to  leave  them  to  proceed  without 
him,  and  to  go  back  to  Kettering. 
42 


1330  MEMOIRS    OF 

Soon  after  this,  in  a  letter  to  another  friend,  he  says, — "  I 
have  preached  only  twice  for  the  last  five  or  six  weeks  ;  but 
am  gradually,  though  slowly  recovering.  Death  has  swept  away 
almost  all  my  old  friends  ;  and  I  seem  to  stand  expecting  to  be 
called  away  soon.  It  matters  not  when,  so  that  we  be  found 
in  Christ." 

In  another  letter,  written  about  the  same  time,  he  says, 
"  Brother  Sutcliff's  last  end  was  enviable  :  let  mine  be  like  his  ! 
Death  has  been  making  havoc  of  late,  among  us.  Yesterday  I 
preached  a  funeral  sermon,  if  so  it  might  be  called,  for  three  of 
the  members  of  our  church  lately  deceased.  I  feel  as  one  who 
has  the  sentence  of  death  in  himself,  and  whose  great  concern 
it  is,  whether  his  religion  will  stand  the  test.  Almost  all  my  old 
friends  are  either  dead  or  dying.  Well ;  I  have  a  hope  that 
bears  me  tip  ;  and  it  is  through  grace.  In  reviewing  my  life,  I 
see  much  evil.  God  be  merciful  to  me  a  sinner  !" 

On  Nov.  5th,  he  said  :  «  I  mend  a  little,  keeping  free  from 
all  fatigue  and  wet  weather.  But  I  can  preach  only  once  a  day : 
twice  leaves  a  soreness  in  the  place  where  the  inflammation  was. 
I  feel  the  force  of  Eccl.  xii.  1.  last  clause  ;  and  have  lately 
preached  with  much  feeling  on  Psa.  Ixxi.  9.  <  Cast  me  not 
off  in  the  time  of  old  age  ;  forsake  me  not  when  my  strength 
faileth.'  " 

In  the  month  of  December,  though  far  from  well,  he  took  a 
journey  to  London,  and  was  advised  to  go  to  Cheltenham  ;  with 
which  advice  he  was  inclined  to  comply,  but  wished  to  defer  it  to 
a  milder  season.  In  the  mean  time,  he  made  »  se  of  a  saline 
medicine,  as  a  substitute  for  the  waters,  and  thought  he  derived 
benefit  from  it. 

Feb.  1,  1815,  he  wrote  to  his  brother  Robert  Fuller,  of  Isle- 
ham,  as  fellows  : — "  ....  Well ;  the  Lord  liveth,  and  blessed 
be  my  Rock  !  I  am  conscious  of  no  wicked  way  in  me  ;  but  I  feel 
myself  to  be  an  unprofitable  servant.  We  shall  soon  finish  our 
course  :  may  it  be  with  joy  !  If  I  am  able  next  summer,  it  is 
jn  my  mind  to  take  a  tour  eastward,  to  Wisbeach,  Lynn, 
Fakenham,  Norwich,  Yarmouth,  and  some  other  places  in 
Norfolk  and  Suffolk,  and  to  return  by  Isleham  and  Soham  -f 
but  perhaps,  I  may  prove  like  Sampson,  who  went  out  to  do  as 


MR,   FULLER.  331 

at  other  times,  and  wist  not  that  his  strength   was  departed 
from  him." 

March  19,  he  wrote  a  long  letter  to  Mr.  Hinton,  of  Oxford, 
chiefly  on  Missionary  concerns.  It  breathes,  throughout,  an 
ardent  concern  for  the  prosperity  of  our  own  Mission  ;  while  it 
expresses  his  joy  at  the  success  of  the  London  Mission  in  the 
southern  hemisphere  ;  and  then,  alluding  to  recent  political 
events,  he  adds: — "  The  direction  which  things  have  taken  for 
the  last  two  years,  may  appear  favourable  to  popery  ;  but  it  is 
only  that  it  should  be  destroyed  for  ever.  These  tides  in 
human  affairs,  like  the  flux  and  reflux  of  the  ocean,  will  wash 
away  those  things  which  it  is  in  the  purpose  of  Heaven  to  de- 
stroy. The  antichriGtian  power  may  rise  and  fall  repeatedly, 
before  it  falls  to  rise  no  more."  In  this  letter  he  makes  no 
mention  of  his  illness. 

But,  though  his  complaint  was  checked  for  a  little  time,  yet 
it  returned  upon  him  in  this  month,  (March,)  with  aggravated 
symptoms.  Having  engaged  to  attend  the  ordination  of  Mr. 
Mack,  at  Clipstone,  on  the  29th,  he  previously  put  himself 
under  medical  advice,  for  eight  or  ten  days,  that  he  might  be 
able  to  fulfil  his  engagement.  He  preached  to  the  church 
from  3  John  8 — "  We  therefore  ought  to  receive  such,  that  we 
might  be  fellow-helpers  to  the  truth."  Although  he  travelled 
in  the  easiest  manner  possible,  there  is  reason  to  believe,  that 
the  fatigue  of  the  journey,  and  the  exertion  of  preaching  to  a 
crowded  audience,  tended  greatly  to  increase  his  disorder.  Not- 
withstanding this,  he  preached  at  home,  the  next  Lord's  day  af- 
ternoon, April  2d,  from  Isa.  Ixvi.  1.  2. — "  Thus  saith  the  Lord, 
The  heaven  is  my  throne,  and  the  earth  is  my  footstool,"  Sec. 
This  was  his  last  public  exercise,  and  will  long  be  renumbered, 
for  the  earnestness  and  solemnity  with  which  it  was  delivered, 

His  thoughts  were  now  directed  to  Cheltenham,  and  arrange- 
ments were  accordingly  made  for  the  journey.  His  friends 
anxiously  wished  him  to  go,  and  kindly  united  in  a  present, 
to  make  the  journey  easy  to  him.  But  the  disorder  now  made 
such  rapid  progress,  that  it  was  obliged  to  be  relinquished,  as 
impracticable. 


332  MEMOIRS    OF 

Dr.  K.err,  an  eminent  physician,  at  Northampton,  \vho  was 
sent  for,  told  my  sister  on  his  return,  that  he  was  satisfied  his 
liver  was  as  black  as  his  hat,  and  as  hard  as  the  table. 

In  a  note  to  a  friend  at  Kettering,  who  was  prevented  by- 
illness,  from  visiting  him,  he  thus  writes,  April  19th: — «  I  am 
ordered  to  go  next  Monday  for  Cheltenham.  I  should  be 
happy  to  come  and  see  you  before  I  go ;  but,  whether  the 
weather  and  my  affliction  will  permit,  I  know  not.  When  I 
shall  return  is  uncertain.  The  Lord's  supper  must  be  sus- 
pended. My  times  are  in  the  Lord's  hands  :  but  to  me  all  is 
uncertain." 

On  April  28,  he  dictated  the  following  letter  to  me,  written  by 
Mr.  John  Fuller,  and  subscribed  by  himself: — 
"  My  dearest  Friend, 

"  We  have  enjoyed  much  together,  which  I  hope  will  prove 
an  earnest  of  greater  enjoyment  in  another  world.  Wre  have 
also  wrought  together  in  the  Lord's  vineyard,  and  he  has  given 
us  to  reap  together  in  his  vintage.  I  expect  this  is  nearly 
over ;  but  I  trust  we  shall  meet  and  part  no  more.  I  have  very 
little  hope  of  recovery  ;  but  I  am  satisfied  to  drink  of  the  cup 
which  my  Heavenly  Father  giveth  me  to  drink.  Without  ex- 
perience, no  one  can  conceive  of  the  depression  of  my  spirits ; 
yet  I  have  no  despondency.  I  know  whom  I  have  believed, 
and  that  he  is  able  to  keep  that  which  I  have  committed  to 
him  against  that  day.  I  am  a  poor  guilty  creature  ;  but  Christ 
is  an  almighty  Saviour.  I  have  preached  and  written  much 
against  the  abuse  of  the  doctrine  of  grace ;  but  that  doctrine 
is  all  my  salvation  and  all  my  dtsire.  I  have  no  other  hope, 
than  from  salvation  by  mere  sovereign,  efficacious  grace,  through 
the  atonement  of  my  Lord  and  Saviour.  With  this  hope,  I 
can  go  into  eternity  with  composure.  Come,  Lord  Jesus  !  come 
when  thou  wilt !  Here  I  am  ;  let  him  do  with  me  as  seemeth 
him  good  ! 

"  We  have  some,  who  have  been  giving  out,  of  late,  that 
1  if  Sutcliff,  and  some  others,  had  preached  more  of  Christ,  and 
less  of  Jonathan  Edwards,  they  would  have  been  more  useful/ 
If  those  who  talk  thus,  preached  Christ  half  as  much  as  Jona- 
than Edwards  did,  and  were  half  as  useful  as  he  was,  their  use- 


MR.  FULLER,  333 

fulness  would  be  double  what  it  is.  It  is  very  singular,  that 
the  Mission  to  the  East  should  have  originated  with  men  of  these 
principles  ;  and  without  pretending  to  be  a  prophet,  I  may  say, 
if  ever  it  falls  into  the  hands  of  men  who  talk  in  this  strain,  it 
will  soon  come  to  nothing. 

«  If  I  should  never  see  your  face  in  the  flesh,  I  could  wish 
one  last  testimony  of  brotherly  love,  and  of  the  truth  of  the 
gospel,  to  be  expressed  by  your  coming  over,  and  preaching  my 
funeral  sermon,  if  it  can  be,  from  Rom.  viii.  10.  I  can  dictate 
no  more,  but  am 

«  Ever  yours, 

«  ANDREW  FULLER/* 

This  letter  I  received  at  Birmingham,  where  I  preached 
April  30th  ;  and  gladly  would  I  have  gone  on  to  see  him  once 
more,  had  it  not  been  at  a  time  that  I  could  scarcely  be  spared 
three  or  four  days  longer,  with  any  propriety  ;  especially  as  I 
might  have  to  take  a  second  journey  to  Kettering,  immediately 
after  the  first,  or  be  detained  there  by  his  death.  Besides,  I 
found  his  weakness  was  so  great,  that  I  had  no  expectation  of 
hearing  above  a  sentence  or  two  from  his  dying  lips  ;  and  I  felt 
that  the  interview  in  such  circumstances,  would  be  more  than  I 
could  well  sustain.  I  met  a  friend  from  Northampton,  who  had 
seen  him  a  few  days  before.  He  had  asked  him,  if  he  wished 
to  see  me ;  but  the  reply  was,  "  He  can  do  me  no  good."  I 
gave  up  therefore,  all  hope  of  seeing  his  body  till  the  resurrec- 
tion of  the  just.  May  my  spirit  be  with  his  spirit,  now  made 
perfect,  as  soon  as  whatever  God  has  allotted  me  to  do  for  him 
on  earth  is  finished ! 

On  the  afternoon  of  the  same  day  on  which  he  dictated  my 
letter,  he  told  one  of  the  deacons  of  his  church,  that  his  bodily 
depression  was  so  great,  that  it  appeared  to  himself  as  if  he 
could  not  live.  His  friend  replied,  "  I  do  not  know  any  person 
Sir,  who  is  in  a  more  enviable  situation  than  yourself;  a  good 
man  on  the  verge  of  a  blessed  immortality.'*  He  modestly  ac- 
quiesced. He  then  lifted  up  his  hands,  and  exclaimed,  "  If  I 
am  saved,  it  will  be  by  great  and  sovereign  grace ;"  which  last 
words  he  repeated  very  emphatically,—"  by  great  and  sovereign- 
grace" 


334  MEMOIRS    OF 

His  dear  friend,  Mr.  Burls,  of  London,  saw  him  the  day  be- 
fore  his  death  ;  hut,  on  account  of  his  almost  unintcrmittecl 
bilious  vomitings,  with  which  he  had  been  afflicted  for  some 
days,  he  could  scarcely  speak  to  him. 

With  regard  to  the  state  of  his  mind  under  his  affliction,  he 
•was  favoured  with  a  good  degree  of  calmness  and  resignation  ; 
but,  during  the  last  month,  he  became  unable  to  converse, 
unless  in  detached  sentences.  He  seemed,  as  it  were,  to  have 
done  all,  and  said  all,  and  to  have  nothing  to  do  but  to  die. 
On  the  night  of  the  9th  of  April,  he  sat  up  in  his  bed,  and 
spoke,  in  a  most  affecting  manner,  about  some  ('omestic  con- 
cerns. When  his  mind  was  set  at  rest  upon  that  subject,  he 
did  not  discover  any  farther  anxiety  about  it,  but  expressed 
himself,  as  follows  : — 

" 1  feel  satisfaction  in  the  thought,  that  my  times  are  in  the 
Lord's  hands.  I  have  been  importuning  the  Lord,  that,  whether 
I  live,  it  may  be  to  him,  or  whether  I  die,  it  may  be  to  him. 
Flesh  and  heart  fail ;  but  l  God  is  the  strength  of  my  heart, 
and  my  portion  for  ever. ' ' 

April  the  1 1th,  he  said,  "  Into  thy  hands  I  commit  my  spirit, 
my  family,  and  my  charge  :  I  have  done  a  little  for  God  ;  but 
all  that  I  have  done  needs  forgiveness.  I  trust  alone  in  sove- 
reign grace  and  mercy.  I  could  be  glad  to  be  favoured  with 
some  lively  hopes,  before  I  depart  hence.  God,  my  supporter 
and  my  hope,  I  would  say,  '  Not  my  will,  but  thine  be  done  !' 

'  God  is  my  soul's  eternal  rock, 
The    strength  of  every  saint.' 
I  am  a  poor  sinner  ;  but  my  hope  is  in  the  Saviour  of  sinners." 

At  another  time,  when  speaking  of  the  probable  issue  of  his 
disease,  he  said,  "  But  I  am  not  dismayed  ;  God  is  my  soul's 
eternal  rock."  And  again,  "  I  know  in  whom  I  have  believed  : 
he  is  able  to  keep  that  which  I  have  committed  to  him  against 
that  day.  I  am  a  poor  sinner  ;  but  he  is  a  great  Saviour." 

May  2. — "My  God,  my  Saviour,  my  Refuge,  to  thee  I  com- 
mit my  spirit — take  me  to  thyself — bless  those  I  leave  behind." 

He  said,  more  than  once,  "  My  breath  is  corrupt,  my  days 
are  extinct."  He  would  frequently  say,  during  his  affliction. 
"  My  mind  is  calm — no  raptures— no  despondency." 


MR.    FULLER. 

About  nine  days  before  his  death,  while  attempting  to  get 
tip,  as  he  sat  on  the  bedside,  he  said,  "  All  my  feelings  are 
sinking,  dying  feelings  1"  Seeing  his  wife  affected,  he  said^ 
«  We  shall  meet  again  1"  and  added,  "  It  will  be  well  !"  He 
was  then  going  into  the  warm  bath,  and,  while  in  it,  was  a  little 
retreshed.  He  observed,  to  his  medical  attendant  who  had  just 
called  in,  "  I  never  before  recollect  to  have  had  such  depres- 
sion of  animal  spirits,  accompanied  with  such  calmness  of 
mind."  He  observed,  in  reply,  «  It  was  a  glorious  thing ;" 
and  spoke  of  it,  then  and  afterwards,  as  a  remarkable  instance 
of  the  power  of  religion,  in  supporting  the  mind  under  such 
circumstances  ;  as  he  had  known  persons,  of  the  best  regulated 
minds,  sink  almost  into  despair,  under  such  disorders. 

At  another  time,  when  something  was  said  to  himr  about 
resting,  he  answered,  "  There  is  no  rest  for  me."  It  was  re- 
plied, "  Tht^re  is  a  rest  remains  ;"  to  which  he  assented. 

When  under  great  anguish,  he,  one  day,  said  to  one  of  his 
sons,  "  Ail  misery  is  concentrated  in  me  1'* — «  Bodily  misery 
only,  I  suppose,  father  ?" — "  Yes  :  nothing  else." 

But  the  expression  which  he  used  to  Mr.  Blundel  of  North- 
ampton, was  the  most  characteristic  of  any  of  which  I  have  been 
informed  : — "  My  hope  is  sueh,  that  I  am  not  afraid  to  plunge 
into  eternity  1" 

On  the  Lord's  day  morning  on  which  he  died,  May  7,  1815) 
he  said  to  his  daughter  Sarah,  "  I  wish  I  had  strength  enough" 
She  asked,  «  To  do  what  2"  He  replied,  «<  To  wor- 
ship, child." 

Soon  after,  his  daughter  Mary  entering  the  room,  as  soon  as 
he  understood  who  it  was,  he  said,  "  Come,  Mary,  come  and 
help  me  "  He  was  then  raised  up  in  bed,  and  for  the  last  halt 
hour,  appeared  to  be  engaged  in  prayer.  His  children  sur- 
rounded his  bed,  listening  attentively,  to  catch,  if  possible,  tho 
last  words  of  their  dying  parent ;  but  nothing  could  be  distinctly 
heard,  but  "  Help  me !"  which  words  were  repeated  several 
times.  Then,  with  his  hands  clasped,  and  his  eyes  fixed  up- 
wards, as  in  the  attitude  of  prayer,  he  sunk  back,  sighed  three 
fcmes,  and  expired. 


336 


MEMOIRS    OP 


I  add  an  extract  of  a  letter,  from  the  Rev.  J.  K.  Hall,  his  as- 
sistant and  successor,  to  Mr.  Isaac  James,  of  Bristol,  dated 
May  9,  1815. 

"  I  intend  to  fill  this  letter  with  news ;  though,  as  it  will 
chiefly  relate  to  Mr.  Fuller's  death,  it  will  be  news  of  a  doleful 
kind.  You  have  heard,  I  suppose,  that  this  great  and  good 
man,  departed  this  life  about  half  past  eleven,  last  Lord's  day- 
morning.  I  was,  at  the  time,  preaching  from  Psa.  xxiii.  4 — 
«  Yea,  though  I  walk  through  the  valley  of  the  shadow  of  death, 
I  will  fear  no  evil,'  &c.  He  experienced  what,  at  that  moment, 
I  was  attempting  to  describe.  Mr.  Toller,  the  Independent 
minister,  was,  at  the  same  time,  preaching  from  Psa.  Ixxiii.  26 — 
<  My  flesh  and  my  heart  faileth  ;  but  God  is  the  strength  of  my 
heart,  and  my  portion  for  ever.'  As  soon  as  we  left  our  places 
of  worship,  every  individual  in  the  town  probably  heard  the 
afflictive  words,  «  He  is  gone  !  He  is  gone!'  and  the  melancholy 
news  was  soon  despatched  to  different  parts  of  the  kingdom. 
As  I  had  to  preach  in  the  afternoon,  you  may  easily  suppose, 
that  this  circumstance  would  increase  those  feelings  which  I 
could  not  prevent  on  so  solemn  an  occasion  :  I  preached  from 
Isa.  ix.  6 — *  And  the  government  shall  be  upon  his  shoulder.* 
This  was  the  text  from  which  Mr.  Fuller  preached,  when  he 
returned  from  my  grandfather's  funeral. 

"  Mr.  Fuller's  illness  has  been  severe.  His  death  was  oc- 
casioned by  a  liver  complaint:  and  that  disease,  you  know, 
usually  causes  a  great  depression  of  spirits.  It  did  so  in  the 
present  case  ;  so  that  Mr.  Fuller  felt  a  great  disinclination  to 
seeing  his  friends.  His  mind  was  not  unhappy  ;  nor  had  he  any 
distress  in  the  prospect  of  eternity  ;  but  his  animal  spirits  were 
very  low,  and  his  pain  and  restlessness  were  extreme.  He  de- 
rived all  his  support  from  the  hope  of  divine  mercy,  through 
Jesus  Christ.  On  a  review  of  his  life,  he  appeared  to  feel  him- 
self to  be  a  great  sinner,  and  had  such  a  jealousy  of  his  hav- 
ing been  influenced  by  a  mixture  of  motives,  that  he  could  not 
derive  much  consolation  from  what  he  had  done.  At  the  same 
time,  he  had  such  a  reliance  upon  Christ,  and  so  good  a  hope, 
that  he  knew  whom  he  had  believed,  and  was  persuaded  that  he 
was  able  to  keep  what  he  had  committed  to  him  against  that 


MR.    FULLER. 

day.  Pie  was  sensible  to  the  last.  The  clay  on  which  he  ex- 
pired, he  said,  « 1  wish  1  could  worship.'  A  little  before  death, 
he  seemed  to  have  less  pain,  and,  for  some  time,  appeared,  by 
the  motion  of  his  lips,  to  be  engaged  in  prayer.  Towards  the 
last,  he  sat  up  in  his  bed,  groaned,  sunk  back,  and  after  three 
sighs,  calmly  expired.  The  funeral  is  to  be  next  Monday.  1 
shall  not  send  this  off,  till  it  is  over.  You  know  that  Dr.  Ryland, 
by  Mr.  Fuller's  request,  is  to  preach  ;  and  my  uncle  is  to  de- 
liver the  funeral  oration." 

Tuesday  Afternoon,  [May  16.] 

"  Mr.  Hall  has  resigned  to  me  (says  Mrs.  Hall,)  the  task  of 
finishing  this  letter  j  but,  as  the  mail  will  leave  Kettering  very 
soon,  I  can  do  little  more  than  just  mention,  that  the  last  sad 
tribute  of  respect  was,  yesterday  evening,  paid  to  the  remains 
of  the  great  and  good  Mr.  Fuller.  The  crowd  which  attended 
was  immense.  All  the  ministers  in  the  town  were  invited,  both 
Churchmen  and  Dissenters — Mr.  Toller,  Mr.  Hogg,  Mr.  Bugg, 
with  Mr.  Brown  and  Mr.  Towers,  the  Methodist  preachers. 
No  formal  invitation  was  sent  to  any  minister  in  the  country  ; 
it  being  difficult  to  know  where  to  draw  the  line  :  but  numbers 
were  attracted  to  the  spot,  by  motives  of  respect  and  affection. 
Mr.  Grimshaw,  a  clergyman  of  the  Establishment,  came,  on 
purpose,  from  Bedford.  Mr.  Hmton,  of  Oxford,  and  many 
others,  with  whom  I  was  not  acquainted,  were  there.  I  went 
to  the  meeting  through  Mr.  Fuller's  house  (the  doors  not  being 
open  quite  so  soon,)  at  three  o'clock  in  the  afternoon.  About 
a  quarter  of  an  hour  afterwards,  the  crowds  assembled  at  the 
doors  were  admitted  :  the  rush  of  people  was  astonishing  ;  but 
no  one,  that  I  have  heard  of,  received  any  injury.  It  was  sup- 
posed, there  might  be  2000  persons.  The  galleries  were 
propped  in  several  places,  to  prevent  any  accident ;  and  I  am 
happy  to  say,  there  was  not  the  slightest  alarm.  A  quarter  be- 
fore five,  the  funeral  procession  entered.  The  coffin  was  placed 
in  the  table-pew ;  the  mourners  in  the  seats  on  the  right  hand 
of  the  pulpit.  Mr.  J.  H.  first  gave  out  a  hymn.  Mr.  Toller 
then  engaged  in  prayer,  with  great  fervour  and  devotion  : 
another  hymn  was  sung.  Dr.  R.  preached,  from  Rom.  viii.  10. 

and  Mr.  Robert  Hall,  preceded  by  another  hymn,  delivered  the 
43 


MEMOIRS    O* 

funeral  oration.  The  corpse  was  then  carried  out  and  interred, 
A  few  words  only  were  spoken,  by  Dr.  Ryland,  after  the  body 
was  put  into  the  grave." 

On  the  Sabbath  after  Mr.  Fuller's  death,  the  day  before  the 
interment,  his  friend  Mr.  Toller  delivered  a  discourse  on  the 
occasion,  to  his  own  people,  from  1  Kings  xiii.  30. — "Alas,  my 
brother  !"  He  afterwards,  in  compliance  with  the  wishes  of 
the  family  and  friends  of  the  deceased,  delivered  it  to  Mr.  Ful- 
ler's congregation  ;  and  the  following  extract  from  it  is  inserted 
here,  with  his  permission  : — 

"  With  regard  to  the  much-respected  friend  and  Christian 
minister,  lately  removed,  it  might  appear  unbecoming  and  in- 
delicate in  me  to  enter  far  into  his  character  and  case ;  particu- 
larly as  this  will  be  done  to  so  much  greater  advantage  on  the 
approaching  day  :  but  thus  much  I  could  hardly  satisfy  myself 
without  advancing,  on  this  occasion. 

"  I  trust,  I  am  sincerely  disposed  to  join  in  the  general  and 
just  tribute  which  his  friends  and  the  public  are  disposed  to  pay 
to  his  abilities,  his  sound  sense,  and  solid  understanding,  and  to 
his  unwearied  diligence  and  unconquerable  ardour  in  support- 
ing and  pursuing  the  interests  of  the  best  of  causes  ;  and  that, 
not  only  in  the  common  duties  of  his  profession,  but,  more 
particularly,  in  the   propagation  of  Christianity  in  the  foreign 
climes  of  India.     Perhaps,  no  individual,  next  to  the  unequalled 
Carey,  no  individual,  at  least  at  home,  has  done  so  much  to 
promote  that  cause  ;  and,   considering  the  few  advantages  of 
early  education  which  he  enjoyed,  the  eminence  to  which  he 
has  risen,  the  influence  he  had  acquired,  and  the  means  of  use- 
fulness which   he  has  collected  and  secured,  are  so  much  the 
more  extraordinary,  and  reflect  the  greater  credit  on  his  mem- 
ory.    The  variety  and  compass  of  his  writings,  though  all  bear- 
ing on  one  grand  point,  yet  serve  to  show  what  sheer  abilities, 
sound  principle,  ardent  zeal,  and  persevering  application  can 
do.     I  have  read  his  works,  (some  of  them  more  than  once,) 
with  much  satisfaction,  and  I  trust,  some  improvement:  that 
that  improvement  has  not  amounted  to  more,  ought  to  be  at- 
tributed to  myself.     I  have  not  a  doubt,  but  that  they  have  been 
of  real  and  extensive  use  in  the  Christian  church,  in  support  of 


MR.    FULLER.  339 

the  radical  principles  of  evangelical  religion,  and  will  continue 
to  be  so  after  his  dust  shall  mingle  with  the  «  clods  of  the  val- 
ley.' It  is  a  satisfaction  to  me,  to  reflect,  that,  in  the  great  lead- 
ing views  of  vital  Christianity,  he  expresses  very  nearly  my  own 
sentiments  ;  though  it  is  not  to  be  expected,  that  persons  who 
think  for  themselves  on  sacred  subjects,  should,  in  every  point, 
*  see  eye  to  eye.'  You  will  not,  therefore,  expect,  that  I  should 
profess  myself  able  to  subscribe  to  every  article  in  his  theolog- 
ical creed :  still,  however,  it  is  a  pleasure  to  me  to  reflect  now, 
that,  differing  only  on  points  of  subordinate  importance,  where- 
ever  that  was  the  case,  we  always  agreed  to  differ. 

"  Though  living  in  the  same  town,  engaged  in  the  same  pro- 
fession, and  that  under  the  banners  of  different  denominations, 
for  about  thirty  years,  I  do  not  recollect,  that  ever  an  angry 
word  passed  between  us,  or  a  single  jar  occurred,  by  our  means, 
among  our  respective  connexions.  At  the  same  time,  I  would 
not  mention  this  in  the  spirit  of  a  vain  compliment,  either  to  him 
or  to  myself;  but  desire  to  be  deeply  sensible  of  a  thousand  de- 
ficiencies and  errors,  in  other  respects  ;  nor  would  i  be  under- 
stood, in  a  servile  spirit  of  fulsome  flattery,  as  representing  him 
as  a  faultless  character,  or  holding  him  up,  in  all  respects,  as  a 
model  of  the  Christian  temper  and  disposition  ;  for,  alas ! 
of  whom  can  you  say,  *  Be  ye  followers  of  him,'  unless  you 
insert  the  restrictive  clause — so  far  as  he  was  '  a  follower  of 
Christ.' 

"  While,  then,  I  think  him  an  eminent  loss  to  his  family,  a 
general  loss  to  society  and  the  church  of  Christ,  and,  perhaps, 
an  irreparable  loss  to  his  own  denomination ;  I  trust  I  can, 
with  truly  Christian  cordiality,  follow  him  up  to  the  footstool  of 
his  Master's  throne,  and  congratulate  him  on  that  «  Well  done, 
good  and  faithful  servant,'  which,  I  have  no  doubt,  he  has 
received. 

"  I  conclude,  with  remarking,  that  in  no  one  point,  either 
from  his  writings  which  I  have  read,  or  the  sermons  I  have 
heard  from  him,  or  the  interviews  and  conversations  I  have  had 
with  him, — in  nothing  can  I  so  fully  join  issue  with  him,  as  in 
the  manner  of  his  dying.  Had  he  gone  off  full  of  rapture 
and  transport,  I  might  have  said,  <  O  let  me  die  the  triumphant 


340  MEMOIRS     OF 

death  of  the  righteous  !'  But  it  would  have  been  far  more  than 
I  could  have  realized,  or  expected  in  my  own  case  :  but  the 
state  of  his  mind,  towards  the  last,  appears  to  have  been,  if  I 
may  so  express  it,  i  after  my  own  heart.'  He  died  as  a  peni- 
tent sinner  at  the  foot  of  the  cross.  At  my  last  parting  with 
him,  I  shook  hands  with  him  twice,  and  observed,  with  some 
emotion,  not  expecting  to  see  him  more,  «  We  have  lived  har- 
moniously, many  years,  in  the  same  place  ;  I  trust  we  shall,  one 
day,  meet  above.'  I  think  the  last  religious  sentence  he  drop- 
ped to  me,  was,  '  Looking  for  the  mercy  of  our  Lord  Jesus 
Christ  unto  eternal  life.'  He  said  to  a  young  minister,  '  I  have 
no  religious  joys  ;  but  I  have  a  hope,  in  the  strength  of  which 
I  think  I  could  plunge  into  eternity.' 

"  Being  reminded  of  his  Missionary  labours,  he  replied, c  Ah  • 
the  object  was  unquestionably  good  ;'  but  adverted  to  the 
mixture  of  motives,  to  the  influence  of  which  we  are  liable  in 
supporting  the  best  of  causes.  To  another  friend,  who  was 
congratulating  him  in  a  similar  style,  he  replied,  <  I  have  been 
a  great  sinner  ;  and,  if  I  am  saved  at  all,  it  must  be  by  great 
and  sovereign  grace.'  Here,  the  dying  minister — the  dying 
friend,  speaks  all  my  heart :  here,  I  come  nearer  to  him  at  his 
death,  than  I  have  ever  done  through  the  whole  course  of  his 
life.  The  testimony  of  a  Christian  conscience  is,  at  all  times, 
invaluable  ;  but,  in  the  dying  moments  of  a  fallen  creature,  it 
can  afford  no  more  than  auxiliary  support ;  the  grand  promi- 
nent hold  of  the  trembling  soul  must  be  « the  golden  chain  that 
comes  down  from  heaven.'  It  is  the  immediate,  personal,  real- 
izing application  ;  it  is  the  broad,  palpable  hope  of  salvation 
for  penitent  sinners,  through  the  riches  of  divine  grace  in  Christ 
Jesus  our  Lord,  that  throws  every  thing  else  into  shades.  It  is 
not  the  voice  of  congratulation  on  the  best  spent  life,  however 
just,  that  is  most  acceptable,  in  those  awful  moments,  to  pious 
minds  :  that  is  often  heard  with  trembling  diffidence,  and  con- 
scious apprehension  of  contaminating  motives  and  counteract- 
ing defects.  The  sweetest  music,  in  the  ears  of  expiring  piety, 
must  be  struck  from  another  string  :  £  This  is  the  record,  that 
God  hath  given  us  eternal  life,  and  this  life  is  in  his  Son—The 
wages  of  sin  is  death  ;  but  the  gift  of  God  is  eternal  life,  through 
Jesus  Christ  oar  Lord.' 


MR.    FULLER.  341 

"  In  all  probability,  my  bones  will  be  deposited  not  far  from 
liia  :  God  grant,  that  I  may  die  in  the  same  temper  and  the 
same  hope ;  and  that  our  spirits  may  be  united  in  the  day  of  the 
Lord  !  Amen." 

Thus  I  have  endeavoured  faithfully  to  exhibit  the  man,  in 
life  and  in  death.  He  that  sees  not  much  to  admire,  and  to 
imitate  ;  he  that  does  not  exclaim,  <  What  hath  God  wrought  V 
who  made  a  poor  sinful  man  so  evidently  an  eminent  saint ; 
would  not  be  convinced  nor  edified  by  any  encomium  I  could 
add. 

Doubtless,  he  had  his  faults ;  for  « in  many  things  we  all 
offend."  I  might  be  blind  to  some  of  them,  although  I  thought 
I  watched  him  more  carefully  than  I  did  any  other  friend ;  as 
being  more  anxious  that  he  should  be  right  in  all  points,  and 
more  at  liberty  to  speak  my  mind,  if  ever  I  thought  him  wrong : 
but  whatever  they  were,  he  has  done  with  them ;  and  I  have 
done  with  them.  I  will  deny  none  that  I  ever  knew  ;  but,  if 
I  had  known  more  than  I  ever  did,  I  would  not  needlessly  ex- 
pose them.  I  am  fully  satisfied,  that  he  is  now  without  fault 
before  the  throne.  His  just  spirit  is  made  perfect.  I  long  to 
be  as  he  is.  I  wish  I  now  were  as  he  was,  in  all  things  except 
those  bonds.  O  that  I  were  well  rid  of  all  that  he  hath  laid 
aside,  and  were  like  him  in  all  that  is  now  perfect ! 

If  I  knew  of  his  making  a  golden  calf,  or  in  any  degree  coun- 
tenancing idolatry,  I  would  acknowledge  and  reprobate  his 
conduct ;  or  if  I  knew  of  his  denying  his  Lord  three  times  over, 
or  even  once  only,  I  would  both  own  and  lament  it.  But  the 
sacred  writers,  though  they  recorded  every  material  fact  im- 
partially, yet  did  not  needlessly  repeat  and  exaggerate  the  im- 
perfections of  upright  men,*  nor  aim  to  show  their  own  acumen 
in  nicely  criticising  their  characters:  their  impartiality  was 
real,  but  not  ostentatious.  Luke  entered  into  no  discussion  of 
the  controversy  between  Paul  and  Barnabas,  though  he  had 
full  opportunity  of  knowing  one  side  of  the  story,  and  that  from 
far  the  greatest  man  of  the  two :  and,  as  I  am  not  divinely 
inspired  to  distinguish  accurately  who  was  right  and  who  was 

*  S«e  1  Kings  xv.  $• 


342  MEMOIRS    OF,    &C. 

wrong,  wherein  Mr.  Fuller  was  separated  from  some  who  once 
had  a  share  in  his  friendship,  and  from  whom  he  thought  it  his 
duty  to  withdraw  it ;  I  shall  leave  them  to  write  of  his  faults, 
who  refused  to  acknowledge  any  of  their  own.  Though  I  may 
have  strong  grounds  for  an  opinion  on  that  subject,  yet  I  am 
not  eager  to  show  them.  I  leave  such  things  to  an  infallible 
Judge. 

All  who  have  read  my  funeral  sermon  for  Mr.  Fuller,  can 
judge  for  themselves,  whether  I  have  represented  him  there  as 
«  more  exempt  from  the  infirmities  of  our  corrupted  nature 
than  was  the  father  of  the  faithful."  From  such  critics  as  have 
already  insinuated  this,  and  who  despise  all  disinterested  lo-ue, 
even  of  Him  who  is  altogether  lovely,  it  were  folly  for  any  one, 
who  has  neither  the  means  nor  inclination  to  purchase  their 
favour,  to  look  for  "  candour  and  fairness."  But  charges  which 
are  not  confirmed  by  my  own  conscience,  I  entirely  disregard. 

Some  of  my  friends  may  think  it  was  needless  to  have  in- 
serted these  remarks,  as  the  whole  of  this  volume  will  suffi- 
ciently show  that  I  wished  to  write  the  actual  life  of  my  dearly 
beloved  friend,  and  not  his  panegyric.  By  the  grace  of  God 
lie  was  what  he  was ;  and  now  the  work  of  grace  is  perfected' 

Let  grace  be  admired  and  magnified  for  ever,  Amen  I 


APPENDIX. 

CONTAINING,  AMONG  OTHER  ARTICLES,  CONVERSATIONS 
WITH  EVANGELICAL  CLERGYMEN,  ON  ESTABLISH- 
MENTS, DOCTRINE,  &C. AN  INSTANCE  OF  MR.  FUL- 

LER'S  SOUND  JUDGMENT,  AND  INFLEXIBLE  INTEGRI- 
TY  ANECDOTES — HIS  ORIGINALITY HIS  APPRECIA- 
TION OF  THE  WORKS  OF  ART— BRIEF  HISTORY  OF  THE 
BAPTIST  CHURCH  AT  BETTERING HINTS  AS  TO  MR. 

FULLER'S  DISCHARGE  OF  HIS  PASTORAL  DUTIES;  m 

WHICH  IS  CONTAINED  A  LETTER  TO  ONE  OF  HIS  MEM- 
BERS AGAINST  ANT1NOM1AN  DELUSIONS INSCRIPTION 

ON    A    TABLET    ERECTED    TO    HIS    MEMORY. 

I  RESERVE  for  this  place,  some  things,  the  connexion  of 
which  I  wish  to  conceal,  that  the  place  where  they  occurred, 
and  the  persons  to  whom  they  refer,  may  not  be  known  ;  with 
some  other  particulars  that  I  could  not  so  easily  introduce  in 
the  preceding  Chapters. 

Of  the  former  kind,  is  the  following.— He  was  once  con- 
versing freely  with  an  Evangelical  Clergyman,  soon  after  the 
publication  of  Mr.  Overton's  True  Churchman,  when  that  work 
happened  to  be  mentioned.  The  Clergyman  observed,  That 
he  understood  many  Dissenters  considered  some  things  in  it,  as 
severe  against  them.  Mr.  Fuller  said,  "  I  suppose  you  mean, 
in  calling  them  schismatics."  "  Yes;  in  part,"  said  the  other. 
Mr.  Fuller  replied,  "  I  never  felt  it ;  for  it  did  not  appear  to 
me  to  be  aimed  to  hurt  us,  but  merely  to  screen  himself,  in  the 
eyes  of  his  superiors,  from  the  suspicion  of  favouring  us."  He 
added  also,  "  It  did  not  hurt  me,  because  I  perceived  no  justice 


344  MEMOIRS    OF 

in  it.  The  term  schism  is  relative,  and  has  reference  to  the 
society  from  which  the  separation  is  made.  Now  before  you 
can  fix  the  guilt  of  schism*  upon  us,  you  must  prove,  (1.)  That 
the  Church  of  England  is  a  true  church  ;  yea  more,  (2.)  That 
it  is  the  only  true  church  in  the  kingdom." 

At  another  time  he  had  a  free  conversation  with  certain  very 
respectable  Clergymen,  which  I  purposely  have  reserved  to  be 
thus  separately  introduced,  without  reference  to  place  or  names ; 
choosing  rather  to  disappoint  curiosity,  than  to  betray  Christian 
confidence. 

The  first  Clergyman,  after  saying  many  friendly  and  respectful 
things,  said  in  a  tone  of  familiarity,  "  1  had  almost  thrown  your 
Gosfiel  its  own  Witness,  aside,  owing  to  what  you  said  against 
Establishments  in  the  Preface."  F.  "  Why  Sir,  could  you  not 
have  construed  it  as  the  British  Critic  has  ?"  1  C.  "  How  is 
that  ?"  F.  "  I  think  they  say  to  this  effect :  «  The  Author 
protests  against  Establishments  of  Christianity,  for  political 
purposes  :  but,  as  ours  assuredly  is  not  for  such  ends,  he  cannot 
mean  that ;  and  therefore,  we  recommend  it  to  our  readers/ 
Both  replied,  "  We  apprehend  they  construed  you  more  fa- 
vourably than  you  deserved."  F.  "Well;  it  seems  then,  I 
should  have  put  it  at  the  end,  instead  of  the  beginning  of  the 
book."  1  C.  "  I  see  you  do  not  approve  of  Establishments." 
F.  "  I  do  not  Sir."  1  C.  «  Well ;  I  am  persuaded  we  are 
greatly  indebted  to  ours."  F.  «  The  friends  of  Christ  would 
be  such,  without  it."  1  C.  "  True  ;  but  the  enemies  would 
not  be  kept  in  such  decency/'  F.  «  I  was  riding,  last  night, 

from to  ,  with  a  drunken  sea-officer ;  passing 

through ,  he  pointed  to  the  cathedral,  and  said,  "  That 

is  our  relision  ...  we  are  all  for  r elision  .'"  2  C.  "  Ah  !  that  was 
honey  to  you/'  F.  «  I  felt  for  the  poor  man."  2  C.  "  You 

*  Some,  who  are  often  exclaiming  against  the  evil  of  rending  Christ's 
seamless  garment,  take  it  for  granted,  that  the  crime  must  lie  exclusively 
on  those  who  take  hold  of  the  skirt,  and  not  attach  to  those  who  pull  ever 
so  violently  at  the  upper  end  of  the  robe.  But,  surely  the  fault  of  the 
rent  may  be  as  much  on  their  side  who  impose  terms  of  union  not  author- 
ized by  the  Head  of  the  Church,  as  on  those  who  scruple  conforming  to 
them.  R. 


MR.    PULLER.  345 

think  hard  of  Bishop;  Horsley »"  F.  «  I  do."  2  C.  «  I  think  his 
remarks  about  Sunday  schools  have  been  made  too  much  of ; 
he  does  not  condemn  the  institution,  but  the  abuse  of  it."  F. 
"  He  represents  village  preaching  as  a  political  measure,  and 
as  pursued  by  the  same  men  as  formerly  cried  up  rationality  ; 
which  is  absolutely  false."  1  C.  «  He  had  heard  some  things 
of  Dissenters."  F.  «  Yes  ;  and  I  have  heard  some  things  of 
Yorkshiremen."  2  C.  "  What,  that  they  are  bites  ?"  P.  "  Well ; 
and  would  it  be  fair  to  condemn  all  the  natives  of  that  county 
upon  hearsay  ?"  1  C.  "  He  is  a  man  of  a  bad  temper."  F.  "  I 
have  heard  that  lie  is  after  all,  an  infidel:  I  do  not  know  how 
true  that  may  be  ;  but  he  is  a  violent  man,  and  full  of  misrep- 
resentation." 1  C.  "  What  he  has  suid  of  the  body  of  the  Dis- 
senters being  turned  from  Calvinism,  is  true  of  the  old  Dissen- 
ters :  those  that  you  now  call  the  body  of  your  people,  have 
come  from  the  Church.'*  F.  «  That  may  be  true,  in  part,  es- 
pecially respecting  the  Presbyterians,  but  not  of  the  Independ- 
ents or  Baptists  ;  and  we  can  account  for  the  decline  of  Pres- 
byterianism  in  England,  on  the  ground  of  their  Poedobaptism." 
[All  laughed,  as  though  they  should  say,  l  Bravo  !  How  is 
that?']  F.  "The  old  orthodox  English  Presbyterians  made  so 
much  of  their  seed,  and  the  dedication  of  them  to  God,  as  they 
called  it,  by  baptism,  that  presuming  on  their  conversion,  they 
sent  them  to  seminaries  of  learning,  to  be  ministers  before 
they  were  Christians ;  and  as  they  grew  up  being  destitute  of  any 
principle  of  religion,  they  turned  aside  to  any  thing  rather 
than  the  gospel.  The  effect  of  this  was,  some  of  the  people, 
especially  the  young  and  graceless,  followed  them ;  the  rest 
have  becon.e  Independents  or  Baptists."  1  C.  "  All  your  old 
places  that  were  opened  at  the  Revolution,  are  now  Socin- 
ianized."  F.  "  The  Presbyterian  places  are  mostly  so;  but 
we  do  not  mind  the  places  being  Socinian,  as  long  as  the  people 
have  left  them.  As  to  the  body  of  our  people  coming  from  the 
Church,  it  is  little  more  than  fifty  years  since  the  Church  was 
almost  destitute  of  serious  ministers  and  people  ;  yet  there  were 
at  that  time,  perhaps,  nearly  as  many  serious  Dissenters  as 

now." 

44 


346  MEMOIRS    OP 

CONVERSATION    ON    DOCTRINE. 

First  C.  «  There  are  different  shades  of  Calvinism,  I  sup- 
pose, amongst  you  ?"  F.  "  Yes;  there  are  three  by  which  we 
commonly  describe ;  namely,  the  high)  the  moderate,  and  the 
strict  Calvinists.  The  first  are,  if  I  may  so  speak,  more  Cal- 
vinistic  than  Calvin  himself;  in  other  words,  bordering  on  An- 
tinomianism."  1  C.  "  Have  you  many  of  these  ?"  F.  "  Too 
many."  1  C.  "  Do  they  not  reckon  you  a  legal  preacher  ?»»  F . 
**  Yes ;  at  this  very  time,  I  am  represented  throughout  the  re- 
ligious circles  of  London,  as  an  Arminian."  1  C.  "  On  what 
ground  ?"  F.«  What  I  have  written  in  a  note  in  the  Gosfiel  its 
own  Witness"  1  C.  "  I  remember  that  note.  I  and  my  friends 
approve  of  it,  and  think  it  agrees  with  the  doctrine  held  by  our 
Church.  But  what,  do  you  call  a  moderate  Calvinist  ?"  F. 
4t  One  that  is  half  Arminian,  or  as  they  are  called  with  us,  Bax- 
terians."  1  C.  "  And  what  a  strict  Calvinist  ?"  F.  «  One  that 
really  holds  the  system  of  Calvin.  I  do  not  believe  every  thing 
that  Calvin  taught,  nor  any  thing,  because  he  taught  it  ;  but  I 
reckon  strict  Calvinism  to  be  my  own  system." 

I  think  the  following  instance  of  his  sound  judgment  and  in- 
flexible integrity  well  worth  recording. 

A  preacher,  (I  shall  not  say  at  what  place  or  time,)  had  fallen 
into  temptation.  Brother  Fuller,  Sutcliff,  and  another  worthy 
minister,)  whom  I  shall  not  name,  lest  it  should  prove  a  clew  to 
the  whole  story,)  were  consulted  by  some  of  the  principal  peo- 
ple ;  on  which  Mr.  F.  wrote  thus : — 

"  He  is,  I  find,  very  open,  and  has  not  been  guilty  of  com- 
pleting the  crime  ;  but  what  he  has  done,  he  allows  was 
4  foolish  and  wicked '  It  is  so  much  divulged,  that  there  is  no 
hope  of  its  being  concealed.  He  professes  to  have  repented, 
and  to  have  received  divine  forgiveness.  Some  seemed  inclined 
to  restore  him  to  his  work,  on  that  ground.  At  present  he  is 
only  silenced  by  desire  of  some  of  the  chief  friends  to  the  cause, 

without  any  church  act.  Mr. seemed  to  lean  to  his 

restoration.  He  alleged,  that  the  minister  was  a  man  of  spirit ; 
and  considering  himself  as  a  penitent,  and  as  called  to  the  work 


MB.    FULLER.  347" 

•f  the  ministry,  he  would  preach  somewhere  ;  if  not  in  the  old 
place  of  worship,  yet  probably  in  the  neighbourhood,  and  thus 
would  divide  the  church.  He  himself  has  said,  he  could  divide 
the  church,  Sec.  I  replied,  Suppose  he  has  repented,  yet  there 
is  a  sort  of  atonement  necessary  in  cases  of  public  scandal.  I 
endeavoured  to  argue  from  Numb.  xii.  14.— «  If  her  father  had 
but  spit  in  her  face,'  Sec.  and  from  the  case  of  the  Corinthian 
fornicator,  concerning  whom  Paul  determined  what  should  be 
done,  without  any  proviso  concerning  his  penitence  ;  also  from 
the  case  of  David,  that  seeing  he  had  sinned  publicly,  and 
dishonoured  God's  name,  God  would  bear  testimony  against 
him,  before  the  sun.  In  short,  the  same  arguments  that  would 
prove  the  insufficiency  of  repentance  without  an  atonement  to 
God,  would  prove  the  point  in  hand.  But,  in  the  second  place, 
it  seemed  to  me  doubtful  whether  he  did  repent.  I  did  not  like 
his  talking  of  his  repentance  ;  nor  yel  of  his  having  received 
divine  forgiveness ;  and  still  less  his  saying,  that  he  could  di- 
vide the  church.  My  advjce  was.  therefore,  '  Try  the  sincerity 
®f  his  repentance,  at  the  same  time  that  you  bear  open  testi- 
mony against  what  cannot  be  kept  secret.  If  he  repent,  he  mil 
not  divide  the  church  :  if  he  attempt  it,  infamy  will  cover  him, 
and  you  will  be  justified.  If  he  be  of  a  proper  spirit  he  may  be 
restored  ;  and,  if  you  should  be  provided  with  a  minister,  he 
may  go  elsewhere.  If  you  cover  it  over  now,  it  will  be  another 
such  affair  as  's  and *s,  who  each  professed  re- 
pentance, and  to  have  received  forgiveness ;  whereas,  if  after 
bearing  open  testimony  against  it,  you  restore  him,  though  it  be 
in  twelve  months,  there  would  be  but  few  churches  in  the 
kingdom  that  would  then  object  to  his  character/  It  was  asked, 
What  in  the  mean  time  could  be  done  for  his  family  ?  The  an- 
swer was,  4  That  is  a  question  that  may  be  considered  sepa- 
rately, but  ought  to  have  no  weight  in  determining  this.'  Brother 

Sutcliff  concurred  in  these  sentiments,  and  Mr. came 

into  them:  we  were,  therefore,  of  one  mind  in  advising  the 
church  to  exclude  him." 

I  have  transcribed  this,  as  an  instance  of  his  decision  and 
fidelity,  and  could  adduce  many  others,  if  it  were  possible  to  con- 
ceal the  parties,  and  avoid  giving  pain  to  their  surviving  friends. 


MEMOIRS    OF 

I  will  add  here  a  few  anecdotes  of  my  dear  friend,  which  1 
had  not  an  opportunity  of  introducing  before. 

Several  years  ago,  a  friend  had  taken  him  to  the  Bank,  where 
one  of  the  clerks,  to  whom  he  had  occasion  to  speak,  showed 
him  some  ingots  of  gold.  Mr.  Fuller  seemed  to  tarry  as  he 
balanced  one  of  them  in  his  hand,  while  his  companion  was  in 
haste  to  be  gone.  Thoughtfully  eyeing  the  gold,  he  said,  as  he 
laid  it  down,  "  how  much  better  is  it  to  have  this  in  the  hand, 
than  in  the  heart  !" 

Originality  was  certainly  one  of  his  distinguishing  character- 
istics. The  following  anecdote  will  illustrate,  and  partly- ac- 
count for,  this  feature  in  his  character,  which  his  friends  had  so 
often  occasion  to  remark  and  admire.  While  travelling  in  the 
North,  on  one  of  his  Missionary  tours,  in  the  course  of  conver- 
sation, the  name  of  Dr.  Benjamin  Franklin  having  been  intro- 
duced, Mr.  Fuller's  friend  remarked  that  he  had  a  philosophical 
mind,  or,  that  he  was  a  philosopher  from  his  youth. — "  Well ; 
(said  Mr.  F.)  what  do  you  call  a  philosopher,  or  in  what  respect 
was  he  one  ?"  "  O  I  (said  his  friend,)  he  seems  to  have  made 
rules  for  himself  in  childhood,  which  regulated  him  even  in  old 
age."  On  this  Mr.  F.  replied,  "  If  this  be  any  mark  of  a  phi- 
losopher, you  will  make  me  one.  My  father  (he  continued,) 
was  a  farmer,  and,  in  my  younger  days,  it  was  one  great  boast 
among  the  ploughmen,  that  they  could  plough  a  straight  line 
across  the  furrows  or  ridges  of  a  field.  I  thought  I  could  do 
this,  as  well  as  any  of  them.  One  day  I  saw  such  a  line,  which 
had  just  been  drawn,  and  I  thought,  'Now  I  have  it.'  Ac- 
cordingly, I  laid  hold  of  the  plough,  and,  putting  one  of  the 
horses  into  the  furrow  which  had  been  made,  I  resolved  to  keep 
him  walking  in  it,  and  thus  secure  a  parallel  .Une.  By  and  by, 
however,  I  observed,  that  there  were  what  might  be  called 
wriggles  in  this  furrow  ;  and^when  I  came  to  them,  they  turned 
out  to  be  larger  in  mine  than  in  the  original.  On  perceiving  this, 
I  threw  the  plough  aside,  and  determined  never  to  be  an  imitator? 

Mr.  Fuller  perhaps,  might  have  possessed  a  greater  taste 
for  the  works  of  art,  without  injuring  his  spirituality  of  mind ; 


^  MR.    FULLER.  349 

but  he  seemed  in  this  respect,  to  differ  from  one  of  our  Lord's 
disciples,  mentioned  Mark  xiii.  1.  as  the  following  anecdote  will 
show  : — The  first  time  he  passed  through  Oxford,  he  was  con- 
ducted by  a  friend,  to  see  the  principal  buildings  of  the  Uni- 
versity. He  viewed  them  with  little  emotion  ;  and,  on  being 
requested  to  notice  one  object  of  peculiar  interest,  he  said, 
•l  Brother,  I  think  there  is  one  question,  which,  after  all  that 
has  been  written  on  it,  has  not  yet  been  well  answered."  His 
friend  desiring  he  would  name  the  subject,  he  said,  JJ  The 
question  is,  What  is  justification  ?"  It  was  immediately  pro- 
posed to  return  to  the  fireside,  and  discuss  the  subject ;  to  which 
Mr.  F.  gladly  acceded,  saying,  "  That  inquiry  is  far  more  to 
me  than  all  these  fine  buildings.'*  Decision  of  character  was  as 
eminent  in  him  as  in  the  illustrious  Howard,  of  whom  a  living 
author  has  so  justly  said,  that  "  as  invisible  spirits  who  fulfil 
their  commission  of  philanthrophy  among  mortals,  do  not  care 
about  pictures,  statues,  and  sumptuous  buildings ;  no  more  did 
he,  when  the  time  in  which  he  must  have  inspected  and  admired 
them,  would  have  been  taken  from  the  work  to  which  he  had 
consecrated  his  life." 

A  BRIEF  HISTORY    OF    THE    BAPTIST  CHURCH    AT  KETTERING- 

Mr.  John  Maidwell,  A.M.  born  at  Geddington,  and  educated 
at  Cambridge,  preached  in  the  Church  at  Kettering,  from  1 650, 
till  he  was  ejected,  in  1662.  After  his  ejectment,  he  often 
preached  in  his  own  house,  and  other  houses  in  Kettering,  for 
thirty  years ;  in  the  latter  part  of  which  time,  he  opened  a 
meeting-house,  became  pastor  of  an  Independent  church,  and 
had  a  considerable  congregation.  He  died  January  9,  1692, 
aged  83.  He  was  succeeded  by  Mr.  Thomas  Milway,  October 
29,  1696.  Mr.  William  Wallis,  one  of  the  elders,  and  some 
other  members  of  the  churc.h,  withdrew,  and  formed  themselves 
into  a  Baptist  church,  of  which  Mr.  Wallis  was  chosen  pastor. 
WTe  are  told  in  the  life  of  Dr.  Gill,  that  a  sermon  of  this 
Mr.  Wallis,  from  Gen.  iii.  9.  *  Adam,  where  art  thou  ?'  proved 
the  means  of  his  conversion,  when  John  Gill  was  but  twelve 
years  of  age;  and,  as  he  was  born  in  1697,  this  proves  that 


350  MEMOIRS    OP 

Mr.  William  Wallis  was  living  in  1709.  Dr.  Gill  used  to  speak 
of  him  as  his  spiritual  father.  After  the  decease  of  Mr.  Wil- 
liam Wallis,  he  was  succeeded  by  his  son,  Mr.  Thomas  Wallis, 
perhaps  about  1715  or  17  J  6.  Mr.  Thomas  Wailis  was  father 
to  Mr.  William  Wallis,  who  died  October  12,  1757,  and  whose 
funeral  sermon,  preached  by  Mr.  Brown,  from  Rom.  viii.  39, 
was  printed  ;  at  the  end  of  which  some  account  is  given  of  him. 
He  was  an  eminently  wise  and  godly  man,  and  a  great  encour- 
ager  of  the  cause  of  Christ.  He  was  father  of  Mr.  Beeby  Wal- 
lis. It  vvas  in  the  time  of  Mr  Thomas  Wallis,  and  probably 
near  the  beginning  of  it,  that  Mr.  (afterwards  Dr.)  Gill,  became 
a  member  of  the  church,  and  was  called  to  the  ministry.  The 
writer  of  the  Doctor's  life  says,  that  he  was  baptized  November 
1,  1716,  by  Mr.  Thomas  Wallis.  On  the  Lord's  day  after  his 
baptism,  he  expounded  the  fifty-third  of  Isaiah,  at  a  private 
house,  (where  some  of  the  members  of  the  church  met  for 
prayer,)  and  was  soon  called  to  the  ministry.  Mr.  John  Brine t 
who  was  one  of  the  first  fruits  of  his  ministry,  joined  the  church 
at  Kettering,  in  1718  ;  and  both  of  them  were  settled  as  pastors 
of  churches  in  London,  for  many  years.  Dr.  Gill,  at  Carter 
Lane,  Southwark ;  and  Mr.  Brine,  at  Cripplegate. 

Mr.  Milway,  pastor  of  the  Independent  church  at  Kettering, 
appears  to  have  died  in  1696,  and  to  have  been  succeeded  by 
Mr.  William  Terry.  Mr.  Terry  was  succeeded  by  Mr.  John 
Wills,  May  5,  1709.  Mr.  Wills,  and  a  part  of  the  church, 
withdrew,  about  1715,  and  formed  another  church.  The  ma- 
jority elected  Mr.  Milway,  jun.  for  their  pastor,  who  was  suc- 
ceeded by  Mr.  Saunders,  in  1721;  Mr.  Benjamin  Boyce,  in 
1736  ;  Mr.  John  Fuller,  in  1772  ;  and  by  their  present  worthy 
pastor,  Mr.  Toller,  in  1778. 

Mr.  Wills  does  not  appear  to  have  continued  long  with  the 
secession.  After  his  departure,  they  appear  to  have  been  with* 
out  a  pastor  till  January  23,  1724  ;  when  Mr.  John  Wilson,  a 
member  of  a  church  at  London,  was  chosen  to  that  office.  The 
majority  of  this  church  were  now  become  Baptists  ;  and  Mr. 
Wilson  himself  appears  to  have  been  of  that  denomination- 
Mr.  Wilson  died  in  1729. 


MR.    FULLER.  351 

Mr.  Thomas  Wallis  died  in  December,  1726.  His  church 
continued  without  a  pastor  till  March  10,  1730  ;  when  Mr. 
Wallis's  and  Mr.  Wilson's  congregations  having  agreed  to  as- 
semble in  one  place,  (which  was  exchanged,  in  1769,  for  th« 
place  where  the  Baptist  congregation  now  meet,)  the  united 
church  chose  for  their  pastor  Mr.  Robert  Hennell.  a  member 
of  Mr.  Noble's  church  in  London,  who  died  in  September, 
1749. 

The  following  is  the  succeeding  line  of  pastors.  July  9> 
1752,  Mr.  John  Brown,  who  died  at  Lymington,  April  14, 
1800.  Mr.  Brown  had  resigned,  January  24,  1771,  and  was 
succeeded  November  20,  1771,  by  Mr.  George  Moreton,  a 
member  of  the  church  at  Arnsby  ;  he  was  obliged,  by  ill  health, 
to  resign  in  August,  1779,  and  was  succeeded  by  Mr.  Andrew 
Fuller,  October  7,  1783  ;  who  was  succeeded,  a  few  months 
after  his  decease,  by  Mr,  John  Hall,  the  present  pastor. 

A  building  on  the  present  site,  was  converted  into  a  place  of 
worship  in  1769,  it  was  enlarged  in  1786,  and  re-enlarged  in 
1805. 

HINTS       AS     TO      MR.      FULLER'S     DISCHARGE      OF      PASTORAL 

DUTIES. 

When  Mr.  F.  came  to  Kettering,  in  1782,  the  church  had 
been  destitute  of  a  pastor  for  three  years.  Nevertheless, 
through  the  Christian  zeal  and  activity  of  the  deacons,  (who,  as 
much  as  in  them  lay,  endeavoured  to  supply  the  want  of  a 
pastor,  by  visiting  the  people,  and  inviting  them  to  their  own 
houses,  for  prayer  and  religious  conference,)  the  members  of 
the  church  not  only  kept  together,  but  lived  in  love  and  harmony. 
The  work  of  God,  also,  in  conversion,  was  not  altogether  at  a 
stand  in  the  congregation. 

Mr.  Fuller  proved  a  most  diligent  and  faithful  pastor,  and 
considerable  success  attended  his  ministrations,  which  appeared 
by  the  additions  made,  from  time  to  time,  to  the  church.  At 
Mr.  Fuller's  first  coming  among  them,  the  church  consisted  of 
only  eighty-eight  members  ;  but,  by  the  divine  blessing  upon 
his  labours,  notwithstanding  the  removals  by  death,  &e,  the 


MBMO1KS    OF 

number  of  members  increased,  in  the  space  of  about  thirty-two 
years,  to  one  hundred  and  seventy-four. 

The  following  letter  to  one  of  the  members,  will  serve  as  a 
specimen  of  his  attention  to  the  feelings  of  his  people  ; — 

« Jan.  1792. 
"  My  dear  Friend, 

«  In  many  of  the  workings  of  your  mind,  there  is  some  simi- 
larity with  those  of  my  own,  about  twenty  years  ago.  You 
seem  to  be  fluctuating  upon  the  surges  of  doubt  and  suspense. 
I  did  the  same,  for  some  time.  I  think,  that  one  cause  of  this, 
in  me,  was,  my  hopes  and  fears  rose  or  fell,  according  as  texts 
of  Scrijiture  occurred  to  my  mind.  For  example  :  If  such  a 
passage  as  Isa.  xli.  10,  (<  Fear  not,  for  I  am  with  thee,  be  not 
dismayed,  for  I  am  thy  God,'  Sec.)  was  impressed  on  my  mind, 
I  was  all  joy  and  transport ;  but  if  such  a  passage  as  Psa.  I.  1 6, 
('  What  hast  thou  to  do,  to  declare  my  statutes,  or  that  thou 
shouldest  take  my  covenant  into  thy  mouth  ?')  was  suggested, 
I  was  all  dejection,  and,  perhaps,  durst  not  go  upon  my  knees 
to  pray.  I  used  to  think,  that  when  any  passage  of  Scripture 
was  impressed  with  weight  upon  my  mind,  it  was  no  other  than 
the  voice  of  God,  speaking  to  me  by  those  words ;  so  that, 
though  the  passage,  as  it  stood  in  the  Bible,  might  be  addressed 
to  some  other  person  or  case,  yet  when  it  was  impressed  on  my 
heart,  I  was  led  to  consider  it  as  an  address  from  God  to  me. 
Yea,  in  this  manner  I  used  to  imagine  that  God  revealed  future 
events  to  me.  If  I  were  praying  for  the  conversion  of  any 
person  in  particular,  and  such  a  passage  as  this  were  impressed 
on  my  mind  at  the  time-—4  In  her  month  they  shall  find  her,'— 
(Jer.  ii.  24.)  I  concluded,  that  God  would,  sometime,  convert 
that  person  :  or,  if  such  a  passage  as  this — 4  Pray  not  thou  for 
this  people,'  &c.  (Jer.  vii.  16.)  I  should  have  concluded  that 
they  would  not  have  been  converted,  and  so  have  left  off  pray- 
ing for  them. 

"  After  a  while,  I  began  to  suspect  whether  this  way  of  tak- 
ing comfort,  or  of  casting  it  away,  or  of  judging  of  future  events, 
and  regulating  my  conduct  accordingly,  were  either  of  them 
just  or  solid.  And,  in  a  little  time,  I  perceived,  that  1  had  no 
reason  given  me  in  Scripture,  to  expect  the  knowledge  of  my 


MR.   FULLER.  353 

4>wn  state,  or  of  the  state  of  others,  or  of  any  future  events,  by 
such  means.  I  knew  that  the  prophets  and  apostles  had  extra- 
ordinary revelations  made  to  them,  being  divinely  inspired  to 
write  the  Holy  Scriptures  ;  but,  vision  and  prophecy  being  now 
sealed  up,  (Dan.  ix.  24.)  and  a  wo  being  denounced  upon  the 
man  that  should  add  or  diminish,  (Rev.  xxii.  18.)  I  concluded 
that  we  ought  not  to  look  for  any  new  revelation  of  the  mind  of 
God,  but  to  rest  satisfied  with  what  has  been  revealed  already, 
in  his  word. 

"  I  do  not,  however,  reject  all  impressions  of  Scripture 
passages  ;  provided  it  be  nothing  but  Scripture  truth  that  is 
thereby  opened  to  the  mind,  and  impressed  on  the  heart.  Some 
of  the  best  times  of  my  life  have  been  through  the  means  of  a 
passage  of  Scripture.  I  remember,  about  twenty-two  years 
ago,  walking  alone,  in  an  agony  of  despair,  my  guilt  appeared 
too  great  to  be  forgiven,  and  my  propensities  too  strong  to  be 
overcome.  I  felt  as  if  there  were  no  hope  for  me,  and  that  I 

must  even  go  on  and  perish  for  ever  !  Here  I  paused 

*  What !  (thought  I,)  give  up  all  hope,  and  plunge  myself  into 
the  gulf  of  destruction  ! — How  can  I  bear  the  thought  ?'  My 
heart  was  ready  to  burst  with  anguish.  I  then  thought  of  Job's 
resolution — 4  Though  he  slay  me,  yet  will  I  trust  in  him.'  'And 
why  (thought  10  may  I  not  venture  on  Christ  as  a  lost  sinner, 

as  well  as  Job  did  upon  his  God  ?'     I  wept I  prayed 

I  rolled  my  guilty  and  lost  soul  upon  the  Lord  Jesus. 

Hope  kindled  in  my  breast.  The  tears  of  repentance  flowed 
plenteously.  My  soul  cleaved  to  Christ,  as  the  helper  of  the 
helpless,  and  seemed  united  to  him  as  by  an  indissoluble  bond. 
My  load  of  guilt  was  removed,  and  my  evil  propensities  seemed 
to  be  slain.  From  this  time  I  reckon  1  first  began  to  be  a 
Christian. 

"  Indeed,  I  did  not  formerly  suspect  that  I  had  been  carried 
away  by  a  supposed  new  revelation  ;  but,  seeing  my  impressions 
came  in  the  words  of  Scripture,  thought  it  was  only  the  old 
revelation  applied  afresh,  by  the  Spirit  of  God.  But,  upon  ex* 
amination,  I  found  myself  mistaken  ;  for,  though  the  words  of 
Scripture  were  the  means  of  the  impression,  yet  the  meaning- 
of  those  words,  as  they  stood  in  the  Bible,  was  lost  in  the  ap- 
45 


354      *  MEMOIRS    OF 

r 

plication.  For  instance  :  The  meaning  of  Isa.  xli.  10.  as  it 
stands  in  the  Bible,  compared  with  ver.  9.  is,  that  the  true  ser- 
•vants  of  God  have  no  reason  to  be  dismayed,  for  that  God  will 
strengthen,  help,  and  uphold  them  in  all  their  afflictions :  but, 
when  that  passage  occurred  to  my  mind,  I  concluded  that  God, 
had  thereby  revealed  to  mey  that  he  was  my  God,  and  would 
uphold  me,  8cc.  But  this  was  making  it  a  new  revelation,  as 
much  as  if  the  impression  had  not  been  in  the  words  of  Scrip- 
ture ;  because  the  meaning  which  it  had  before,  and  that  which 
I  put  upon  it,  were  totally  distinct.  It  is  a  very  different  thing 
for  God  to  promise  to  be  the  God  of  his  servants^  and  his  prom- 
ising to  be  my  God,  or  your  God.  It  is  very  true,  if  I  can 
prove  myself  to  be  a  servant  of  God,  borne  down  with  fear 
and  dismay,  on  account  of  the  enemies  of  my  soul,  which  I  have 
to  encounter,  (as  was  the  case  with  the  children  of  Jacob  there 
addressed,)  then  I  should  have  just  cause  to  conclude  the 
promise  to  be  mine  ;  but  if  not,  it  is  not  the  impression  of  such 
a  promise  that  will  prove  my  interest  in  it. 

"Again:  The  meaning  of  Psa.  1.  16.  is,  that  wicked  men 
(such  as  are  described  from  ver.  1 7 — 22.)  have  no  right  to  en- 
gage in  teaching  God's  word ;  but  it  does  not  follow,  from 
thence,  that,  because  that  passage  was  impressed  upon  my  mind 
in  going  to  prayer,  I  was  a  wicked  man,  and  had  no  right  to 
draw  near  to  God,  and  take  his  name  into  my  mouth.  To  sup- 
pose that  God  then  revealed  to  me  that  I  ought  not  to  take  his 
name  into  my  lips,  was  making  it  a  new  revelation,  and  so  add- 
ing to  Scripture  ;  for,  except  I  bore  the  character  there  de- 
scribed, the  passage  speaks  no  such  thing. 

"  Again  :  The  meaning  of  Jer.  ii.  24,  is,  that,  let  sinners  be 
ever  so  set  upon  their  lusts,  there  will  come  a  time  when  they 
will  be  tamed  and  taken,  either  by  the  grace  or  the  judgments 
of  God.  Now  such  a  passage  as  this  being  impressed  on  my 
mind,  while  I  was  praying  for  the  conversion  of  one  that  was 
unconverted,  could  afford  me  no  just  ground  to  conclude  that 
God  would  ever  convert  such  a  person  rather  than  another  ;  for, 
supposing  the  passage  to  contain  a  promise  that  the  persons 
there  spoken  of  should  sometime  be  stopped  by  the  power  of 


MR.    FULLER.  355 

divine  grace,  it  would  not  follow  that  this  should  be  the  case 
with  the  person  for  whose  conversion  I  was  concerned. 

"  Once  more :  Such  a  passage  as  Jer.  vii.  16,  being  impressed 
upon  my  mind,  afforded  me  no  just  ground  to  conclude,  that 
they  on  whose  behalf  I  was  engaged  in  prayer  would  never 
be  converted  ;  much  less  could  it  justify  me  in  ceasing  to  pray 
for  them  ;  because,  though  there  might  be  a  particular  reason 
why  Jeremiah  should  not  pray  for  those  people,  yet  it  did  not 
follow,  that  the  people  for  whom  /  prayed  were  in  a  similar 
situation,  or  that  the  same  reason  existed  in  the  one  case  as  in 
the  other. 

44 1  could  record  many  more  such  examples.  All  I  say,  is, 
when  the  truth  contained  in  any  passage  of  Scripture  is  opened 
to  the  mind,  and  impressed  upon  the  heart,  this  is  Christian 
experience — this  is  the  work  of  the  Spirit ;  but  it  is  not  his 
work  to  make  any  new  revelation  to  the  soul,  of  things  not 
proveable  from  Scripture,  which  is  the  case  when  he  is  supposed 
to  reveal  to  us  that  we  are  the  children  of  God,  by  suggesting 
some  passage  of  Scripture  to  our  minds,  which  expresses  so 
much  of  some  other  person  or  persons,  there  spoken  of. 

«  I  have  known  many  ill  consequences  arise  from  a  depend- 
ence on  such  kind  of  impressions.  Christians  have  been  thereby 
led  into  error  and  misconduct.  When  they  have  been  at  a  loss 
about  the  path  of  duty  in  any  particular  case,  they  have  had  such 
a  passage  as  this  suggested  to  them —  This  is  the  way,  walk  ye 
in  it,' — and  have  concluded  that  that  way  which  they  were 
thinking  of  at  the  time  such  a  passage  occurred  to  their  minds, 
must  be  the  way  of  duty,  and  so  have  followed  it,  but  which  has 
often  proved  to  be  the  wrong  way.  From  the  same  cause,  I 
have  known  Christians  thrown  into  the  utmost  confusion  about 
their  state.  A  young  person  was  under  a  heavy  affliction.  She 
had  this  passage,  (if  I  remember  right,)  at  that  time  impressed 
upon  her  mind — *  Set  thine  house  in  order,  for  thou  shall  surely 
die* — from  whence  she  concluded  she  should  not  recover.  A 
few  days  after,  these  words  occurred  to  her — *  This  sickness  is 
not  unto  death,  but  for  the  glory  of  God.'  From  hence,  she 
must  naturally  conclude  that  they  could  not  both  be  true,  nor 
both  come  from  God  :  consequently,  she  must  be  thrown  into 


356  MEMOIRS    OF 

confusion  about  the  other  parts  of  her  experience,  and  ques> 
lion  whether  all  was  not  deception. 

"  But  this  is  not  the  worst.  I  have  known  great  numbers  of 
persons,  whose  conduct  gave  full  proof  that  they  were  uncon- 
verted men,  who  nevertheless,  lived  in  hope  of  being  saved  at 
last,  merely  because  some  text  of  Scripture  had  been,  at  some 
part  of  their  lives,  impressed  upon  their  minds.  Indeed,  I 
question  if  you  could  find  one  person  in  twenty,  among  those 
who  have  been  accustomed  to  hear  the  gospel,  but  who  could 
tell  you  that  some  passage  of  Scripture  had  been  impressed 
upon  their  minds,  and  had  given  them  comfort,  at  some  period 
or  other  in  their  lives.  It  is  thus  that  multitudes  go  down  to 
hell  with  a  lie  in  their  right  hand! 

"  Do  not  be  alarmed  my  friend,  as  if  all  your  experience 
would  thus  be  undermined.  Though  you  may  have  rested 
pretty  much  on  such  evidence,  I  trust  you  have  much  better 
to  rest  upon.  For  my  own  part,  I  have  not  been  much  in 
doubt,  as  to  my  soul's  state,  for  these  sixteen  or  eighteen  years, 
The  evidence  on  which  I  draw  the  favourable  conclusion,  is,  a 
consciousness  that  I  am  on  the  Lord's  side  ;  that  I  love  his 
character,  his  government,  his  gospel,  his  laws,  his  people ; 
that,  the  more  I  know  of  them,  the  more  I  love  them :  and 
these  are  things  to  which  God  has  promised  salvation,  all  through 
the  Bible. 

"  There  have  been  many  Scripture  promises,  as  I  said  before, 
that  have  been  sweet  to  my  soul ;  but  I  am  not  used  to  make 
those  promises  mine  any  more  than  others.  If  I  love  Christ  in 
sincerity,  all  the  promises  in  the  Bible,  which  relate  to  spiritual 
and  eternal  blessings,  are  mine  ;  and  it  is  upon  the  ground  of 
what  is  promised  in  those  which  have  never  been  particularly 
impressed  upon  the  mind,  that  I  build  my  hopes,  as  much  as 
upon  those  that  have  :  for  I  do  not  reckon  a  promise  ever  the 
more  true,  or  ever  the  more  made  to  me,  because  I  have  felt 
it.  To  make  this  plain  : — A  child  is  heir  to  an  extensive  or- 
chard ;  when  the  fruit  is  ripe,  he  walks  into  it ;  he  tastes  of  one 
tree,  and  another ;  some  of  the  trees  he  likes  better  than  others, 
because  the  fruit  tastes  sweeter ;  he  calls  that  his  tree,  whereas 
they  are  all  his,  only  all  do  not  taste  equally  sweet,  at  the 


,T*IR.  FULLER.  35T 

same  time,  to  his  palate ;  perhaps,  as  he  grows  up,  his  taste 
may  change  a  little,  and  then  some  which  he  thought  light  of 
will  be  preferred. 

"  I  acknowledge,  that  to  rest  our  hopes  upon  such  evidence 
as  I  propose ;  that  is,  upon  a  consciousness  of  our  being  the 
subjects  of  those  dispositions  to  which  the  Scriptures  promise 
salvation,  is  not  the  way  to  be  always  hapfiy.  If  we  indulge  in 
secret  sin,  or  live  in  the  neglect  of  known  duty,  or  sink  into 
a  spirit  of  conformity  to  the  world,  or  a  spirit  of  Laodicean 
lukewarmness,  or  be  careless  as  to  a  close  walk  with  God, 
or  attend  on  ordinances  without  desire  after  communion  with 
him  ; — in  either  of  these  cases,  we  shall,  in  a  great  degree,  lose 
our  consciousness  of  love  to  God,  and  consequently  live  in  fear 
and  bondage.  Indeed,  it  is  better  that  we  should  live  so,  than 
to  go  about  to  persuade  ourselves  that  all  is  well,  and  so  settle 
upon  our  lees,  in  ungrounded  security.*  Though  after  all,  it 
is  not  desirable  to  live  in  such  bondage,  and  the  way  to  be  de- 
livered from  it,  is,  to  abound  in  those  means  which  tend  to  cher- 
ish our  love  to  God  ;  for  perfect  love  ivill  cast  out  fear. 

*"  Peace,  in  a  spiritually  decaying  condition,  is  a  soul-ruining  security  ; 
better  be  under  terror,  on  the  account  of  surprisal  into  some  sin,  than  be 
in  peace  under  evident  decays  of  spiritual  life." 

Owen's  Meditations,  p.  216. 

"Look  not  that  the  Lord  should  so  far  countenance  your  declinings  to 
a  more  fleshly  careless  state,  as  to  smile  upon  you  in  such  a  state  :  God  will 
not  be  an  abettor  to  sin.  Count  upon  it,  that  your  grace  and  peace,  your 
duty  and  comfort,  will  rise  and  fall  together.  Suspect  those  comforts  that 
accompany  you  into  the  tents  of  wickedness,  and  forsake  you  not  when, 
you  forsake  your  God." 

Rev.  Richard  JLlleinc's  Vindicia  Pictatis,  Part  III.  p.  299. 

"  It  is  aa  impossible,  in  the  nature  of  things,  that  a  holy  and  Christ- 
ian hope  should  be  kept  alive,  in  its  clearness  and  strength,  in  such  circum- 
stances, as  it  is  to  keep  the  light  in  the  room,  when  the  candle  is  put  out ; 
or  to  maintain  the  bright  sunshine  in  the  air,  when  the  sun  is  gone  down. 
Distant  experiences,  when  darkened  by  present  prevailing  lust  and  cor- 
ruption, will  never  keep  alive  a  gracious  confidence  and  assurance  ;  but 
that  sickens  and  decays  upon  it,  as  necessarily  as  a  little  child  by  repeated 
blows  on  the  head  with  a  hammer.  Nor  is  it  at  all  to  be  lamented,  that 
persons  doubt  of  their  state  in  such  circumstances  ;  but,  on  the  contrary, 
it  is  desirable,  and  every  way  best,  that  they  should." 

Edwards  on  the  Affections,,  Part  II.  p.  82. 


MEMOIRS    OF 

"  I  think  the  above  remarks  may  be  of  use  to  you,  and  con- 
tain an  answer  to  your  request,  respecting  my  sermon  on  Mark 
ix.  2. — <  Son,  be  of  good  cheer,'  8cc. 
« I  am, 

"  Your  affectionate  pastor, 

«  A.  FULLER." 

Mr.  Fuller's  attention  to   his  pastoral  duties  is  manifested 
also,  among  other  things,  by  the  contents  of  a  little  book,  found 
since  his  death,  entitled,  Families  who  attend  at  the  meeting, 
August,  1788.     It  is  added,  «  A  review  of  these  may  assist  me 
in  praying  and  preaching."     The  members  are  specified  by 
name,  with  a  short  account  of  each  ;  their  particular  cases  are 
recorded,  and  their  families  mentioned.     A  list  is  added,  of 
those   in  the  congregation   whom   he  thought  to  be  serious 
persons,  or  under  concern  about  their  souls.     On  viewing  this 
book,  we  were  forcibly  reminded  of  the  exhortation  of  the  Wise 
Man,  Prov.  xxvii.  23. — "  Be  thou  diligent  to  know  the  state  of 
thy  flocks" — (if  such  an  application  may  be  allowed,)  as  strik- 
ingly exemplified,  in  a  spiritual  sense,  in  Mr.  F.'s  conduct  as 
a  pastor,  while  he  had  leisure  to  attend  to  those  duties  without 
interruption.     But,  after  he  became  engaged  in  the  Mission, 
its  concerns  gradually  grew  to  such  a  magnitude,  as,  in  a  great 
measure,   to  incapacitate  him  for  the    due   discharge  of  his 
other  duties ;  which  was  frequently  matter  of  great  concern  to 
him.     But  what  could  he  do  ?  The  demands  of  the  Mission 
were  imperious ;  the  powers  of  man,  both  mental  and  corpo- 
real, are  limited ;  and  though  it  may  be  truly  said  of  him,  that 
he  "  rejoiced  in  all  his  labours,"  yet  his  exertions  proved  greater 
than  nature  was  able  to  sustain,  and  he  sunk  under  them  into  a 
premature  grave. 

In  short,  it  may  be  truly  said,  that  his  whole  conduct 
was  regulated  by  his  favourite  maxims—"  Work  while  it  is 
day." — "  Whatsoever  thy  hand  findeth  to  do,  do  it  with  all  thy 
might." 

It  is  well  known,  that,  for  several  years,  Mr.  Fuller  was  ac- 
customed to  expound  a  portion  of  Scripture  every  Lord's  day 
morning.  He  observed,  that  the  Jews  anciently  used  to  read 


MR.    F17LLER.  359 

Moses  and  the  Prophets ;  that  our  Lord  took  the  book,  and 
read  a  section  of  Scripture,  (Luke  iv.  17.)  and  expounded  it  of 
himself;  and  this  is  said  to  have  been  the  method  of  the  primi- 
tive churches.  He  considered,  that  what  came  directly  from  the 
word  of  God,  was  most  safe,  and  came  with  greater  authority. 
He  said,  he  found  it  advantageous  to  himself,  and  thought  it 
•was  so  to  the  people  of  his  charge. 

His  highly  respected  friend,  Mr.  Toller,  pastor  of  the  Inde- 
pendent church  at  Kettering,  began  this  practice  about  the  same 
time,  though  without  any  previous  intimation  from  either  of 
them  to  the  other  ;  but,  on  conversing  upon  the  subject  some 
time  afterwards,  they  discovered  a  striking  coincidence  of  ideas 
as  to  the  importance  of  it. 

Mr.  Fuller  began  an  exposition  of  the  Book  of  Psalms,  on 
the  18th  of  April,  1790;  and  expounded  in  succession,  Isaiah  ; 
Joel ;  Amos  ;  Hosea  ;  Micah  ;  Nahum  ;  Habakkuk ;  Zeph- 
aniah ;  Jeremiah  ;  Lamentations  ;  Daniel ;  Haggai ;  Zechari- 
ah  ;  Malachi ;  Job  ;  Genesis  ;  Matthew  ;  Luke  ;  John  ;  the 
Revelation  ;  the  Acts  of  the  Apostles ;  the  Epistle  to  the  Ro- 
mans ;  and  the  first  Epistle  to  the  Corinthians,  as  far  as  Chap, 
iv.  5. 

Besides  the  above,  he  expounded  the  Proverbs  of  Solomon  ; 
but  he  did  not  commit  to  paper  his  ideas  on  this  interesting 
portion  of  Scripture.  Of  all  the  other  Expositions,  he  has  left 
behind  him  copious  notes ;  though  as  they  are  written  in  short 
hand,  the  advantage  to  be  derived  from  them  must  be  of  very 
limited  extent ;  as  also  from  the  outlines  of  upwards  of  2000 
Sermons,  delivered  to  his  own  congregation,  and  repeated  in 
many  instances,  to  congregations  in  different  parts  of  the 
country. 

The  general  style  and  tenour  of  Mr.  Fuller's  preaching  is 
pretty  well  known.  Let  it  suffice  to  say  here,  that,  as  it  was 
abroad,  such  it  was  at  home.  Its  great  and  single  object  evi* 
dently  was  the  glory  of  God  in  the  advancement  of  his  kingdom 
in  the  world,  which  included,  and  excited  in  him,  the  most  ear- 
nest desires  and  endeavours  for  the  good  of  souls. 

In  his  annual  addresses  to  his  young  friends,  delivered  on  the 
ljrst  Sabbath  in  the  year,  he  poured  forth  all  his  heart ;  or,  as 


360  MEMOIRS    OF 

the  Apostle  expresses  himself,  being  affectionately  desirous  of 
them,  he  spake  as  one  who  was  willing  to  have  imparted  to 
them^not  the  gospel  of  God  only,  but  also  his  own  soul,  because 
they  were  dear  unto  him ;  exhorting  and  charging  every  one, 
as  a  father  doth  his  children.  And  it  has  been  observed,  that 
though  neither  these  exercises,  nor  his  ordinary  labours,  were 
attended  with  all  the  good  effects  which  his  soul  so  ardently 
desired,  yet  they  appeared  to  be  remarkably  blessed  to  many 
young  people,  who,  when  they  came  forward  in  a  way  of  public 
profession,  dated  their  first  serious  impressions  from  these  oc- 
casions. 

When  the  size  of  the  town  is  considered,  containing  not  more 
than  3242  inhabitants,*  in  which  was  a  large  Independent  con- 
gregation, with  a  minister  who  is  most  deservedly  popular,  a 
congregation  of  Methodists,  and,  of  late  years,  evangelical 
preaching  in  the  church :  I  cannot  consider  it  as  an  evidence 
of  any  defect  in  Mr.  Fuller's  preaching,  that  his  stated  hearers 
did  not  exceed  a  thousand  ;  and  this,  though  many  came  from 
adjacent  villages. 

In  the  exercise  of  church  discipline  he  -was  remarkably 
faithful,  and  yet  tender  ;  and,  though  of  a  very  decisive  char- 
acter, after  having  freely  stated  his  own  sentiments,  he  was 
always  ready  to  listen  to  those  of  others ;  and  even  to  yield 
up  his  own  private  judgment,  in  cases  where  he  did  not  con- 
ceive the  cause  of  righteousness  and  the  honour  of  religion 
would  be  affected. 

In  his  administration  of  the  ordinances  of  baptism  and  of  the 
Lord's  supper,  he  was  remarkably  solemn  and  tender,  and 
especially  at  the  admission  of  members. 

The  last  time  he  administered  the  Lord's  supper,  March  22, 
it  will  not  soon  be  forgotten  with  what  solemnity  he  spoke. 
Though  his  words  were  few,  (he  being  very  ill,)  many  of  his 
friends  were  much  affected,  foreboding  it  would  be  the  last 
time  he  would  appear  among  them  on  such  an  occasion ;  as, 
indeed  it  proved.  He  seemed  swallowed  up  in  the  thought^ 

*  Monthly  Magazine,  Jan.  1, 1816,  p.  49&. 


MH.    FULLER.  361 

of  a  crucified,  risen,  and  exalted  Redeemer  j  repeating  those 
lines  with  peculiar  emphasis,—- 

"  Jesus  is  gone  above  the  skies,"  &c. 

He  never  seemed  to  be  so  much  in  his  element,  as  when 
dwelling  on  the  doctrine  of  the  atonement.  Like  the  Apostle 
jPaul,  he  was  determined  to  know  nothing  but  Christ  and  him 
crucified.  This  doctrine  rejoiced  his  own  soul ;  and  this  he 
used  to  exhibit  to  others,  as  of  the  greatest  importance ;  com- 
prising all  the  salvation  of  a  needy  sinner,  and  all  the  desire  of 
a  new-born  soul. 

Justly  and  highly  as  his  people  prized  his  ministry,  they 
showed  their  love  to  Christ,  in  parting  with  him  very  frequently, 
for  the  good  of  others,  especially  of  the  Heathen  afar  off;  while 
the  same  motive  alone  induced  him  so  often  to  leave  his  be- 
loved family  and  friends,  whose  welfare  he  so  tenderly  re- 
garded, and  in  whose  society  he  was  always  happy. 

Had  Mr.  Fuller's  life  been  protracted  to  ever  so  great  a 
length,  he  could  never  have  put  in  execution  all  the  plans  he 
would  have  laid  for  attaining  his  ultimate  end  ;  since,  as  fast  as 
some  of  his  labours  had  been  accomplished,  his  active  mind 
would  have  been  devising  fresh  measures  for  advancing  the 
divine  glory,  and  extending  the  kingdom  of  Christ.  As  it  was, 
he  certainly  did  more  for  God  than  most  good  men  could  have 
effected  in  a  life  longer  by  twenty  years.  AnH  while  others 
admired  his  zeal  and  activity,  he  kept  a  constant  watch  over 
his  own  heart,  and  was  perpetually  applying  to  himself  the 
divine  interrogation — Did  ye  do  it  unto  me  ?  None  who  knew 
him  could  doubt  the  singleness  and  purity  of  his  intention  ; 
but,  with  him,  it  was  a  very  small  thing  to  be  judged  of  man's 
judgment:  he  well  knew  that  he  that  judgeth  is  the  Lord- 
Though  conscious  of  integrity,  (of  which  I  never  saw  a  stronger 
evidence  in  any  man  of  my  acquaintance,)  yet,  conscious  also, 
to  himself,  of  unnumbered  defects,  he  cast  himself  into  the 
arms  of  the  omnipotent  Saviour,  and  died,  as  he  had  long  lived 
— "  Looking  for  the  mercy  of  our  Lord  Jesus  Christ  unto  eter- 
Qal  life." 

Thus  may  I  also  live  and  die,  O  God  my  Saviour  !  Amen  • 
46 


362  MEMOIRS     OF    MR.    FULLER. 

The  following  Inscription  is  copied  from  a  Tablet  erected  by  the 
church  and  congregation  : — 

IK   MEMORY  OF   THEIR  REVERED   AND  BELOVED    PASTOR, 

THE     REVEREND    ANDREW    FULLER, 
THE  CHURCH  AND  CONGREGATION  HAVE  ERECTED  tHlS 

TABLET. 

HIS  ARDENT    PIETY, 

THE  STRENGTH  AND  SOUNDNESS  OF  HIS  JUDGMENT, 
HIS     INTIMATE     KNOWLEDGE    OF    THE     HUMAN     HEART, 

AND  HIS  PROFOUND  ACQUAINTANCE    WITH    THE 
SCRIPTURES,  EMINENTLY  QUALIFIED   HIM    FOR  THE  MIN- 
ISTERIAL OFFICE,  WHICH  HE  SUSTAINED  AMONGST   THEM 
THIRTY-TWO  YEARS.    THE  FORCE   AND  ORIGINALITY  OF 
HIS  GENIUS,  AIDED  BY  UNDAUNTED  FIRMNESS, 

RAISED   HIM    FROM  OBSCURITY 
TO  HIGH  DISTINCTION   IN   THE   RELIGIOUS  WORLD. 

BY  THE  WISDOM  OF    HIS  PLANS, 

ANDBY  HIFUNWEARIEDDILIGENCE1N  EXECUTING  THEM, 
HE  RENDERED  THE  MOST  IMPORTANT  SERVICES 

TO  THE  BAPTIST  MISSIONARY  SOCIETY, 

OF    WHICH     HE    WAS     THE    SECRETARY     FROM    ITS    COM- 
MENCEMENT, AND  TO  THE  PROSPERITY  OF  WHICH 

HE  DEVOTED  HIS    LIFE. 

IN  ADDITION  TO  HIS  OTHER  LABOURS, 

HIS  WRITINGS  ARE  NUMEROUS  AND  CELEBRATED* 

HE  DIED    MAY  7,  1815,    AGED    61. 


N.  B.  The  papers  ascribed  to  Mr.  FULLER  in  the  different  Magazines 
and  periodical  Publications  referred  to  in  the  catalogue  of  his  works,  is 
thought  not  to  be  correct. 

*,>*THE  printing  having  been  commenced  in  the  middle  of  this  volume 
in  consequence  of  the  first  part  of  the  copy  not  coming  to  hand  in  season, 
the  public  may  observe  some  want  of  taste  in  the  arrangement  of  the 
chapters,  &e.  &c. 


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